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The following suggestions may provide some assistance in developing basic counseling skills helpful to the minister of music.

1)Listen to the entire story. Avoid the temptation to offer input or tell the person about similar issues in your own life. Good listening is the key ingredient in counseling, and sometimes the ability to tell someone is all that is needed.

2)Do not immediately try to offer solutions from your own experience or from biblical insights. Specific suggestions are rarely helpful in an initial counseling situation.

3) Avoid the temptation to dictate feelings. Statements such as "you should feel" are not appropriate.

4) Don't preach. Counseling clients do not need sermons.

Develop Policies and Guidelines

Whether you have written/posted policies or simply have personal policies, all ministers must think carefully about their role as counselor. Most ministers do not need written/posted policies unless counseling begins to consume a large chunk of their weekly schedule. If you are seeing more than one to two people in your office each week for counseling, develop and publish policies! Polices should include days, hours, location, and other important information. Also, the policies should include limits in the numbers of visits, referral policy, and limits on the part of the counselor in experience and training. Many professional counselors recommend that pastors only offer an initial counseling session before referring.

Know When to Refer

Unless you have specific training as a counselor, your primary role is to offer initial listening, limited suggestions, and referrals. The following suggestions are helpful in knowing when to refer:

1)Refer when someone is looking for more help than you are able to provide.

2)Refer when those you are counseling have lost hope and may be suicidal.

3)Refer if you don't see improvement after a session or two.

4)Refer if you feel you "must" work with someone. You have likely become emotionally involved in their situation and have become vulnerable. When you become deeply invested in their choices, beware.

5)Refer when a client has an addiction. (Addictions may come in many forms.)

6)Refer when a counseling situation begins to hinder your normal relationships with family and friends.

7)Refer when you offer quick advice and expect it to have longterm implications and when you are failing to see God's discernment.

8)Refer when you start giving direct solutions without allowing the person(s) to make his/her choices.

9)Refer when you do not see a biblical answer to the problem.

10) Refer when you resist the advice of someone else to refer, although you lack the expertise to assist the person appropriately.

11) Refer when you become manipulative.

12) Refer when you don't trust the individual's perception of how he/she feels about the situation.1

Conclusion

All pastoral counseling must be approached with caution. However, since most music ministers have little/no specific training as a counselor, greater caution must be exercised. Recent studies have shown that brief counseling is often as productive as long-term counseling. This is achieved through quickly shifting the focus from problems to goals and achievements. According to Howard W. Stone, "The long-term counselors appeared more likely to develop relationships in which counselees became increasingly dependent upon them."2 In many instances, people are able to make improvements in their lives without digging into the sources of their troubles.3 The implications of this research are important for music ministers as we realize that our counseling should be brief and should not delve into areas in which we are not qualified to offer help. However, we must realize that our limited assistance can be important, and we must not fail to offer this minimal help when possible.