GSM ed. 4 vol. 2 "Drugs, Sex & Rock N Roll" by ECU Student Guild

GSM reviews politics culture stories

FREE Ed. 4 Vol. 2

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drugs sex rock & roll Editor: Tom Reynolds editor.gsm@gmail.com GSM - ECU 2 Bradford Street Mount Lawley WA 6050 Cover: Giselle Natassia (www.gisellenatassia.com) Design: Tom Reynolds Printed by Photos: pg 3 & 5 Tom Reynolds, pg 4 Jasmine Reilly, pg 23 & 24 Scott-Patrick Mitchell, pg 24 (Scott-Patrick Mitchell) Gabrielle Pasqualon, pg 27 provided with permission by MGM Management, pg 28 provided with permission by Ben Law Editing Team: Jasmine Reilly, Aldy Hendradjaja, Divya Jankee, Bjorn Myran, Chris Gibson, Alysha Edwards, Derek O’Hare, Kaprou Lea, Kaitlyn Plyley, Rebecca Hoare, & Delshard Mozdehinia Arts: Divya Jankee arts.editor.gsm@gmail.com Books: Jasmine Reilly books.editor.gsm@gmail.com Film: Larry Fife film.editor.gsm@gmail.com Games: Ana Victoria Neves games.editor.gsm@gmail.com Music: Jess Gibss music.editor.gsm@gmail.com Advertising: Tom Reynolds (08) 9370 6609 communications@ecuguild.org.au

Photographer: Giselle Natassia http://facebook.com/gisellenatassia Model/Make-Up: Anneliesse Hay The Cover image pertains to this month’s topic which is sex, drugs and rock and roll. You thought she was doing what!? Dirty... She’s obviously singing into a microphone... Giselle Natassia is a conceptual entertainment photographer based in Perth, Australia and has exhibited work in Perth, Melbourne, Singapore and London. Her images are usually dark and macabre in nature and at times have subtle sexual undertones. There is usually a combination of an element of beauty with the horrorific imagery at hand. Working towards visually arresting imagery, as a conceptual based photographer she works from an idea through to execution including casting, production design and everything else in between. She currently shoots with $100 lenses on a Canon 5D Mk II. When not behind a camera or Photoshop, she can be seen slaying virtual zombies or drinking half her weight in vodka.

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the Editor, ECU Student Guild or the Advertisers. The Editor reserves the right to make changes to material as required. GSM reserves the right to republish material. Contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication.

Hooty-Hoo! This edition we have an article about female ejaculation, a real-life story about meth addiction and Josh Thomas talks about making out with Tony Jones. You might find those strange topics, but student magazines should print what students want to write about, not how to be a student. We’re already doing that anyway. It feels like GSM is finally picking up steam. It’s nice to know those late, late, late nights alone in the office are starting to bear fruit less than a year into the project. There’s definately a warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with reading the improving quality of the articles written by our regular contribtors. I’m hellah proud of the work our team is putting together! Having said all that, most of those who came to the writers’ night for this edition were new kids on the block. Their enthusiasim and imagination blew my socks off.

Talking of new kids I would also like to welcome Jess Gibbs (music) and Divya Jankee (arts) to our team.

Editorial

If you’ve ever wonderd about how to get into GSM it’s as easy as sending me an e-mail or coming to a Writers’ Night. They’re promoted on campus, our Facebook page, e-list and through the student news feed. Remember, GSM is YOUR magazine, we just put it together for ya. Since the theme is a traditionally a controversial one, before you read any further I’d like to leave you with a favourite quote by Ricky Gervais: “You have the right to be offended, and I have the right to offend you. But no one has the right to never be offended.” - good luck Tom Reynolds editor.gsm@gmail.com Twitter: @tsareynolds

President’s

Hi There and welcome back or welcome to ECU My Name is Tim Sandhu, your trusty Guild president. The Student Guild is the peak representative body for students. We provide you with support in as many ways possible such as emergency food vouchers, free grievances and appeals process, student common areas inluding lounging areas and computers that don’t require a Univerisity VPN! Our most recent project was Evolve, you may have seen posters around the campus and information about this ‘thing’ in orientation. Evolve is FREE volunteering and employment finding service! Just fill out the forms and we will do the looking for you. Visit your local Guild, building 12 Mt Lawley and building 10 Joondalup for a form to fill out, or alternatively email evolve@ecuguild.org. au for any further information. Our next major project is the long awaited FREE bike loans, where all students and staff can hire out bikes from the Guild absolutely free! <watch this space> On a slightly related note, are you having problems with parking? I no longer do. I started cycling to ECU, which is a modest 17KMs. It’s a great way to keep healthy and you won’t need to worry about speed cameras or parking issues. And better still i’m losing a few KGs on the way. I highly recommend it, and if you need help planning a route, shoot me an email at president@ecuguild.org. au

Report 3

So if you haven’t already, come on down to the Student Guild, grab a coffee and meet your representatives for 2011! Ardios!

Vox Pops

Name: Ande Age: 17 What you study: music production What age were you when you lost your virginity: 15 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: LSD

Name:Tamika Age: 18 What you study: music production What age were you when you lost your virginity: 17 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: none Favorite singer/band: Angels and Airwaves

Name: Emily Age: 18 What you study: music production What age were you when you lost your virginity: 18 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: none Favorite singer/band: cold play

Name: Ben Age: 28 What you study: communications What age were you when you lost your virginity: 16/17 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: booze

Name:Dale Age: 20 What you study: sound Engineering at WAPPA What age were you when you lost your virginity: 17 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: mushrooms Favorite singer/band: the fall of Troy

Name:Ben Age:18 What you study:engineering at curtin What age were you when you lost your virginity: 18 If you had to do a drug, which would you chose: weed Favorite singer/band: The Mars Volta

Suburbs

The Victorian tourism slogan, ‘Lose yourself in Melbourne’ is

quite telling – and since moving here at the beginning of the year I have lost myself at least seven times; mostly on public transport. However, each time I have quickly found myself surrounded by people I know from other places, including Perth. The longer I stay in Melbourne the more people I meet from Perth and there seems to be some sort of natural flow from the west to here. The first thing I noticed when I arrived at Melbourne Airport was that the high visibility clothing had been replaced with football scarfs. I live in the north of Melbourne, somewhere between bustling Brunswick and fashionable Fitzroy, near a French bakery which sells strong coffee and a bar selling cheap pizza; both being the core constituents of a typical student diet. These two businesses are intersected by a great little bottleshop. It always seems to be open and is staffed by an older couple who give me a muddled look that somehow seems to be equal parts distain and genuine affection whenever I purchase a longneck. I like those two people a lot. I get to live down the road from great live music venues such as the Brunswick Club, the Northcote Social Club, the Palace Theatre and the Empress. Only last week I got to see VulgarGrad, who are Australia’s premier Russian Gypsy Folk Thieve Punk band – which may well be a made-up genre. It was brilliant, especially the contrabass balalaika (do yourself a favour and Google that!). Melbourne also has great smaller venues hosting up-and-coming (or sometimes never-going-to-make-it) local and interstate bands most nights of the week. A Melbourne live music institution, the Tote, was famously labelled as a “high-risk venue” and closed, but then re-opened after partitioning of the Victoria Government by thousands of Melbournians in 2010. This venue is perhaps the most wellknown in Melbourne and was supported into re-opening by a march through the city centre by musicians and live music fans in January 2010. Melbourne likes live music.

ROCK! If music isn’t your thing, you can always roll. Melbourne has a thriving Roller-Derby scene. Each month the Victorian Roller Derby holds a bout, with up to 3000 people attending. In July the Victorian team took on Texas in a sold-out bout, with Texas (unfortunately) taking home the trophy. I am a massive fan of Roller-Derby names with Dolly Tartan and Grandmaster Smash being up there amongst my favourites.

Melbourne is a great city to cruise around. Public transport continues after midnight and the taxi drivers seem to know where they are going, with even the vaguest of directions; although this could possibly be due to each holding a Masters degree. The trams seem to run on time and go most places I want to go, which is also a bonus. But if peddle power is more your thing, you can always roll on two wheels with Melbourne’s adequate bicycle lanes and paths. Be warned though that fashionable Melbournians may look down upon you with their thick, dark rimmed glasses if your bicycle is sporting more than one gear. Personally, I take the approach that being able to spin up hills without rupturing my spleen is worth the extra fifteen gears I attached to my bike – so I’ll take the odd look of disapproval. I also like brakes and the feeling of being able to stop without collecting a pedestrian, vehicle or stray pigeon. The average 20-something in Melbourne does appear to be very fashion conscious, though I still maintain that tights alone are not adequate for a true Melbourne winter. Having said that, one look at the substantial pro ‘tights-as-pants’ stores which inhabit the city would indicate that I’m probably in the minority. Shopping at vintage and Op-Shops is almost a sport in Melbourne and judging by the crowd at some of the gigs I have been to lately they are doing a roaring trade; mostly in old-man jumpers and tea cosy headwear. If, like me, you have a family member who is nuts for gardening and would watch Burke’s Backyard religiously, you would be familiar with Don Burke’s awesome and assorted collection of knitted woollen jumpers. It would appear that Don has fallen on hard times and sold his collection to vintage shops around our fair city, only to be picked up and treasured by the hip young things. So, young people of P-Town, strip your bikes of all functioning gears, remove your high-visibility shirts, buy yourselves jumpers that Don Burke would be proud of and come and lose yourself in Melbourne, the city of Rock ‘n Roll. Reece is an external student, living in Melbourne and is completing a Masters of Digital Forensics.

Words by Reece Baldwin Pictures by Tom Reynolds

Ballajura

Suburbs

Welcome to Ballajura, or as the locals prefer to call it, “Balifornia.” Located north

of the river, Ballajura was originally settled by Vikings back in 1085 (or perhaps not). What is true, however, is that Ballajura is named after “Ballajarra” on the Isle of Man. Why? I don’t really know. Anyway, Ballajura, spelt correctly or incorrectly, is a great place. Divided into three parts: North, South and “Summerlakes” (this being the posh side) Ballajura is a large but quiet place. Many non-Ballajurians rumour amongst themselves that certain parts of Ballajura are rowdy and unsafe, however, in my unbiased opinion that this is bullshit. Yeah, things go down every now and again, but the same happens in Cottesloe and Peppermint Grove. So when asked, “Should I travel to Ballajura?” reply with a confident “Yes!”, safe in the knowledge that Ballajura is worth travelling to. There are many attractions here in Ballajura; the skatepark, the library, the pool and the shopping complex, just to name a few. The graffiti that is so lovingly painted onto most public locations is also quite amusing. Also, Ballajura spills (so to speak) into Malaga; the local industrial area. Did you know that the toaster bread that you buy from the supermarkets is baked there? That’s Ballajurian ingenuity for you. Another superb part of Ballajuran ingenuity is the fact that the entire suburb is open and easy to navigate. None of this “I don’t know where the hell I’m going” crap. Most suburbs are like labyrinths and/or obstacle courses, but Ballajura keeps it simple. You can quite easily coast from one side to the other without getting lost. In terms of transport, the buses here are great; they take you wherever you’d like to go. This is quite unlike other suburbs that involve busses that stop in the most inconvenient places, or just generally avoid the place you wish to travel to. In fact the busses here are so great, I know many people who don’t even have a licence because they can just bus it everywhere. All in all, the infrastructure is quite the thing in Ballajura. Having been established from the late 70s onwards, the architecture is quite artiste, full of arches and weird obscure angles that not many people have otherwise heard of. The hipsters haven’t discovered it for that very reason. Folks from Ballajura take pride in their homes and quite often do a lot of DIY on them. The majority of homes are well looked after and are well presented, and upon visiting, you will be pleasantly surprised. Another pleasantly surprising part of Ballajura is the emphasis it places on parks. Ballajurians like their space, so they couldn’t do with the inner city tradition of reserving a small corner and calling it a “park”, they needed large ovals with even larger ovals beside them. As a result the sport culture is thriving; it seems like kids aged two and above are involved in some form of sport. And for those from Summerlakes who don’t wish to get their new soccer booties wet in the winter, the indoor sport centre is the place to go. The shopping complex is quite unlike any other; it features every kind of shop that is actually necessary to everyday life. A supermarket, a butcher, a newsagent that doubles as a post office, a computer store, an accountant’s office, a nail salon, a craft store and a children’s costume hire. So should your child feel like dressing up as Big-Bird whilst on a Thursday night shopping trip, he/she can. Unfortunately, there is no main “strip” as such in Ballajura, only the main hub that is the shopping complex, the library and the pool. But really, what’s the point in having a fancy shopping strip, which only ever attracts a dozen indie stores, when you’ve got everything at your fingertips in one handy place. I love Ballajura; it’s been my home for the past 16 years and it’s full of great things. So if any of the above things tickle your fancy, come visit Ballajurian turf, it’s quite a place.

Words by Chris Sujkowski

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“Retro” GSM ed.1 2011

GSM is the official student publication of ECU and is open to all students. No previous experience is required. GSM is a great way to get involved with student life on campus, develop your writing and analytical skills and most importantly, to express yourself. We want your stories on our pages.

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D.I.Y. DRUG DEALER Hello, guys! Need some money? If you do, you can sell drugs to

some idiots out there and you’ll soon have enough money to buy a Ferrari. It’s easy, fast and foolproof – as long as you don’t get caught. But even if you do get caught, don’t worry, I’ll pretend I don’t know you. Your parents might have said drug-dealing is illegal – and it is! But being a salesperson isn’t illegal, right? Salespersons sell a good product to customers, and don’t you sell a ‘good product’ to customers? Just the words are different: ‘vacuum cleaner’ becomes ‘drugs’, ‘salesperson’ becomes ‘drug-dealer’. It’s a business with a great prospect of money – which is probably why the jealous society discriminates this dream job by claiming it is illegal. That or it’s just me talking shit here. And still you want to read on. What you will need: 1. Gun, knife and/or baseball bat 2. Supplier 3. Jacket with a lot of pockets 4. Shovel 5. Lawyer (essential) 6. Life insurance (just in case) Step-by-step Instructions: 1. First and foremost, do not tell your intention to the cops. I’m serious. I’m very, fucking serious. Many talented drug dealers out there fail in this first step simply because they’re too honest. Telling your friends is okay, as long as you know they’re arseholes enough to be trustworthy. It’s not recommended to tell your parents. 2. Build a network among drug-addicts. This is essential even before you get into business. Get to know people. Introduce yourself to jerks and bitches out there and know the right person from whom you can get your drugs. Don’t avoid someone just because they’re losers – they might be your best clients in the future. 3. After you’ve built a good reputation among drug-addicts, it’s time to find the real supplier. Meet the person you usually get your drugs from, chat about the weather for one or two minutes, and then kill them. Then take your dead friend’s phone and check for a number that’s being called the most often, yet isn’t saved in the phone address – that must be the supplier’s number. Usually this number isn’t saved to avoid trouble when the phone falls to the wrong hands (or the right hands, I wonder?). Next, call the supplier and express your interest in being their lapdog.

No resume needed! All you will need is immorality, and if you follow this instruction step-by-step (including killing your friend) you have proved that you’re a threat to the society. 4. Remember the shovel? It’s high time to hide your friend’s dead body before the neighbours notice. 5. Purchase as many drugs as you can. You can also ask for a discount after you become a good friend with the supplier. Don’t kill your supplier until you’ve built a relationship with another drug lord. 6. Fill up your jacket; it’s time for the real business! Return to your network and begin selling your drugs. It’s not recommended to sell all your supply at once. Drugdealing is an illegal business, but a business nonetheless. Sell cheap when you still have a lot of supply, make your clients addicted to your ‘good product’ and then raise the price when they ask for more. Here is when life insurance comes in handy: you don’t know when your clients will kill you as you did in step (3). You shouldn’t leave debt collectors to disturb your family after you died doing this oh-my-god so noble job. 7. Always do your business face-to-face. You don’t know when the person you’re chatting with in Facebook is actually a cop. Also, change your phone number regularly and practise a ‘Hey, I’m honest!’ face in front of a mirror. Always bring a gun in case: (a) the cops get suspicious or (b) you’re experiencing an unbearable desire to commit suicide. 8. Floss often. I mean... oh, c’mon! A public enemy number one is nothing without minty breath. Did Hitler’s mouth stink? History doesn’t say so, right? 9. For more information, type ‘how to be a drug dealer’ in Google. Seriously, where do you think I got all this information from?

Okay, guys! That’s it! With this, you’ll soon get that Ferrari you’re always dreaming of. Just take notice: If you read this article and follow it step-by-step as I’ve recommended... congratulation, you really are a mentally unstable dummy I mentioned in the title. Man, ain’t I a jerk?

Words by Mr Insult

Roadtesting: sex positions The topics in discussion for this month’s edition of GSM Magazine are Drugs, Sex, and Rock ‘n’ Roll. Most of the attendees at the fantastic Writers’ Night were only focused on discussing drugs and music. Only a small minority /all females/ were brave enough to stand up and take up the remaining topic of the month, Sex. Henceforth, this writer has bravely stepped onto this less trodden path and decided to attempt a (hopefully) mind-blowing and surgically precise review on five sexual positions that this writer deems to be the very best ever out there! The reviews of those respective positions will be based on the writer’s rather privileged research with four “research partners” who throughout the review will only be referred to as C1, C2, M, and Q. The positions will be in the order of the least best to the absolute best. Pirate’s Bounty: She is lying on the bed with him kneeling between her legs facing her. One of her legs is stretched out resting on his shoulder. The other leg is wrapped around his waist. This position was utilised with C1, as she is a leggy lass with an office girl look. The point of this position was actually for the sake of variation and also to appreciate the sheer beauty of those legs. Therefore, this position is suitable if the girl is the leggy kind. The good thing about this position is it enables decent penetration but if timing is not coordinated, your “manhood” might slip out and it’s back to square one again and all momentum is lost. This position did not result in ejaculation. Doggy Style (bulldog variant): Female on all fours, male enters from behind and instead of kneeling he is in more of a squatting/ crouching position. This position was utilised with C2 and M, who both have amazing butt shape, and notably Q who is made for this position. This position is totally amazing especially with the right ladies having those traits mentioned here. Besides the full view of the beautiful feminine bodies, which yours truly thinks the very best view, it also enables very deep penetration and it would be much easier to stimulate the “desired spots” to please the significant other and keep the relationship healthy. The writer did not experience ejaculation with this position, but it must be amazing to end with this position as well. The only drawback of this position would be those who are not endowed with a “big enough staff” as it would be difficult to insert properly, let alone going with the rhythm. Reverse-Cowgirl: Male lies on his back nice and straight. Female sits onto of him but faces in the direction of his toes. Another position simply designated to be utilised with partners with beautiful butts. In this case, it was utilised with Q and to a lesser extent C1. Again, with C1 it was just for variation purposes and again to have nice views of her legs. Q is again the bomb for

this position. Her voluptuousness would mean this position is heavenly. With a thinner lady, it might be painful around the pelvic area, and thus it is more suitable with a voluptuous partner. One advantage about this position is that finally the girl is in control, and back to the guy’s point of view, it feels extremely good with each time the lady is putting all her weight on you. It is simply heavenly, and still no ejaculation for this writer. Missionary Position: Male or female lies on their back and the other lays breast to breast (or close enough) on top. This is the most common and “textbook” position if you will. This is where it gets hotter as this position is simply the second best ever for this writer. To be frank, this writer genuinely thinks that this position is extremely blunt without being done in tandem with French kissing. This position has been “researched” with all four of the “research partners” here. With every single one, the “French” was being spoken. With French kiss, this is arguably the most romantic and emotional sexual position out there. Love prevails over lust in this position and throughout the sexual intercourse, it can be described as being “thrown up into heaven, patted on the head by an angel, and then thrown back to earth in orgasmic fashion”. Orgasmic as, out of the four, this writer managed to get the “Big-O” on two occasions (with M and C1). One drawback of this position is the monotony and unadventurous nature of it (especially if unaccompanied by the French) Folded Deckchair: Female lies on her back with her legs up, male enters into her, similar to missionary but instead pushes on her legs so that her feet are near her head. Last but not least, the crème de la crème, the icing on the cake. The best position ever! It allows a total domination feeling and very deep penetration that guarantees satisfaction for both parties. No amount of mere words could describe the sheer pleasure of looking at the girl in the eye and totally releasing all the pent-up lust and frustration there and then. Always resulted in orgasm with all four of them, whether the first or second position of the session. Amazing! Disclaimers: The writer is not in any way encouraging overly promiscuous sexual behavior. Always use condoms for your own and your partners’ sake. All those sessions vaguely described here were all done with condoms. Each of the encounters with M, C1, C2, and Q were done by two consenting adults at a legal age. BIBLIOGRAPHY http://www.sexinfo101.com/piratesbounty.shtml http://www.sexinfo101.com/bulldog.shtml http://www.sexinfo101.com/reverseasiancowgirl.shtml http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_missionary.shtml http://www.sexinfo101.com/foldeddeckchair.shtml

It’s Saturday night; two young men have hopped out of a cab and

are on their way to Northbridge. One (let’s call him Johnny) is an absolute piss-tank and is going to smash Jaeger bombs all night until he can’t walk straight; the other (his name is David) is going to have a couple of drinks but he’s more interested in buying a stick off his friend and heading home early to smoke a few cones and watch Space Jam. Four hours later our two friends leave the bar. Johnny is absolutely written off, he’s been kicked out of the bar for yelling at the bar staff and on his way out, he tries to hit a bouncer but he’s too drunk to make contact. David walks behind, wishing his friend didn’t get this drunk every weekend but he doesn’t mind too much because he’s bought his pot and he’s going to meet his other friends at their house to watch movies and eat Doritos.

100 grams on a person is now enough to be considered a quantity to supply or sell which could result in two years imprisonment Johnny wants a kebab first so they line up, get their kebabs and then move outside to look for a cab. As they move outside David tries to slide his wallet into his pocket but it slips and drops onto the concrete, open. He panics as his bag of weed has fallen onto the ground. He quickly stoops down to pick it up but as he does a shadow falls across him, he looks up and there stand two police officers looking smugly at both the boys. Johnny cops a move on notice and gets sheepishly in a cab. David on the other hand gets a court summons and has to phone his mum explaining that he’s been charged with drug possession. This is not a lament on why cannabis should be legalised, or at the very least decriminalised, in Western Australia. This is a warning to the young people, my peers, who may not be aware of the seriousness of the new cannabis laws in WA. Think about 10 grams. That’s just 20 tic tacs. Now imagine 10 grams of cannabis in your hand. Doesn’t seem like much. You could probably roll a couple joints with 10 grams. Not a big deal right? Well actually it is a big deal. It’s now enough of a deal to send you to jail for two years or face a $2,000 fine.

In August 1 2011, the new cannabis laws in WA came into effect. They reduced the amount of cannabis found on a person necessary for them to be charged and to face penalties of two years imprisonment or a $2,000 fine for a mere 10 grams. 100 grams on a person is now nough to be considered a quantity to supply or sell which could result in two years imprisonment or a $20,000 fine. It is also now against the law to display or sell any smoking paraphernalia, i.e. - you can’t buy bongs in shops anymore.

This is a warning to the young people, my peers, who may not be aware of the seriousness of the new cannabis laws in WA.

The new laws have also introduced an alternative to going to court if you’re caught with cannabis with the Cannabis Intervention Requirement (CIR). A CIR can be issued to someone who’s found with less than 10 grams (let’s hope the WA Police carry around a set of weights with them) or who is found with a smoking implement which has detectable traces of cannabis in it. If the police officer who has apprehended you decides, they can issue you with a CIR which requires you to book and attend a Cannabis Intervention Session (CIS) within 28 days of the CIR being issued. A CIS is basically a counselling session. An adult can be issued one CIR and then if they’re caught again they have to go to court, and a young person between 14 and 17 can have two before they’re due in court. A police officer is not obliged to issue a CIR. It is completely at their discretion whether they issue one or not. Now it would be easy at this point to make an uppity uni student rant on the “realities” that smoking pot does less damage to a person than drinking alcohol and no violent crimes are ever committed by people who are high on cannabis. Yet alcohol is the reason for a considerable amount of the patrons visiting Charlie Gairdner’s on a Saturday night, but I don’t want to go down that path. Not because I don’t think that path is valid, but because the stark reality of the situation in WA is that these laws are real. These laws affect everyone in WA and these laws can now have a serious affect on you, should you choose to carry cannabis. Words by Sophie Hawkins

Oysters and saffron might be popular as aphrodisiacs, but getting them may be a little hard and quite pricey. Here are some of sexual foods you can find in your own kitchen.

of relaxation. A study even found that vanilla extract can cure impotence. Keep that litre of vanilla flavoured ice cream in your freezer!

Celery: Celery might not be the first thing that springs into mind when it comes to sexual food. While celery does not contain aphrodisiac properties, it contains androsterone. Androsterone is a pheromone that can make male appear more masculine thus luring women.

So, for a dinner that’s sure to get you and your date heated up for the night, you could try sprinkling chopped raw almonds over your salads, serve them spicy mouthwatering Indian curry, and finish off with a couple glasses of pinot noir and this sexcellent dark chocolate fondant.

Almonds: Almonds are the oldest natural aphrodisiac known to man. Rich in nutrients, almonds do not only promote healthier diet, they can also improve your sex life. Indians use the kernels to cure premature ejaculation. The smell of almonds is also said to arouse women – Samson courted Delilah with almond branches!

Masterchef’s Chocolate Fondant (adapted)

Avocadoes: Apparently the Aztecs called the avocado tree “ahuacatl“ meaning “testicle tree”. But more than that, avocadoes contain folic acid, vitamin B6 and potassium. Folic acid gives you more energy, while vitamin B6 increases male hormone production and potassium helps regulate thyroid gland in women, both of which are essential in increasing libido. Honey: Deliciously sweet with indulgent sticky texture, honey is said to be one of the most seductive food in the world. The nitric oxide in hone opens blood vessels that boosts libido in women and men. Think of scenarios where you can use honey to play around with your date. I can think of some. Spices: Y’all know India is famous for its spices. Can you think of another spicy thing India is famous for? Its art of lovemaking. It is said that the book of Kama Sutra speaks of condiments like nutmeg, cloves, cardamoms and ginger as spices that trigger sex drive. Wine: A research in Italy proves that drinking a couple glasses of red wine increases sexual desire in women. The antioxidant contained in red wine does not only help prevent cancer, it also boosts blood flow and improves circulation before and during intercourse. The scent of wine is also key as an aphrodisiac since apparently the acidity in wine replicates human pheromones.

Melted butter, for greasing Cocoa powder, for dusting 200g dark chocolate (at least 54% dark) 200g butter, chopped 4 eggs 4 egg yolks 100g caster sugar 100g plain flour, sifted* Step 1: Preheat oven to 180°C. Place a small square of paper in the bottom of 6 ramekins and grease with melted butter and cocoa powder. Place ramekins on a baking tray. Step 2: Melt the chocolate and butter in a bowl over a small saucepan of boiling water, turn off heat. In an electric mixer, add the eggs, egg yolks and sugar and mix on high speed until fluffy and white. Tip chocolate mixture into a large bowl, pour egg mixture into chocolate mixture and fold together. Fold in flour and mix until smooth. Spoon or pour mixture into ramekins and place in fridge until ready to serve. When ready to serve, bake in oven for 8-9 minutes. Step 3: To serve, gently run knife along outside of each ramekin and turn fondant out into serving bowls.

Chocolate: For the Mayans and the Aztecs, drinking chocolate with chilli peppers and spices. They were also the first people who discovered its use as an aphrodisiac. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which releases dopamine in the pleasure centres of the brain and peaks during orgasm. If chocolate alone is a very potent aphrodisiac, imagine the effect of consuming it the Mayan way.

Tips: *the original recipe calls for 150g of flour, but it really depends on you. I like my fondant more runny than pudding like so I only use 100g. Less flour=more liquidy, more flour=more pudding like. 1. Freeze the mixture overnight after pouring it into the ramekins and bake them frozen for 10-12 minutes for that nice runny texture. 2. Serve the fondants with a drizzle of crème anglaise or a quenelle of vanilla ice cream and garnish with strawberry slices for a double whammy dessert.

Vanilla: Believed to be a natural aphrodisiac for men, the scent and flavour of vanilla is said to be calming and sensuous. It is said to have a euphoric effect on the brain and promotes a feeling

Words by Dina Waluyo

got so thin from using crystal meth addiction that the bones behind my ears stuck out. Now, this is no way an attempt to glorify that usage. My goal isn’t to talk about how amazing the experience was. Nor is it my goal to condemn drug usage, because quite frankly it’s a matter of fact, or a fact of life. Besides, crystal meth abusage is widespread at current, so to discuss might twig you to the traits or tell-tale signs of someone elses usage. I used it to mend a broken heart. Or rather, obliterate it. I wanted to disappear. To destroy myself. I wanted to become invisible, like a ghost. And yes, I injected it. Apparently it can atrophy parts of your brain, as opposed to smoking it, which supposedly atrophies the lunges and throat first. But regardless of the science or fact, one thing is certain: irrespective of how much you use or how much control you presume you have, crystal meth will endeavour to destroy your life.

watched a girl do. I didn’t set booby traps against imaginary predators like another mate did. I knew any extreme paranoid thoughts were purely in my head. I did, however, feel incredibly suicidal all the time. I constantly fantasised about it. I also withdrew, the thinner I got. It reached the point that the rent hadn’t been paid in weeks. Eviction was inevitable. My aunt took me, knowing full well of my usage. I never stole from her, ever, but rather would spend five days at my dealer’s house, selling gear for them where I could, roaming the streets at other times. I loathed catching public transport, knowing full well the sight I was, how thin and gray I had become, that I literally stank of chemicals. What made me stop? An old mentor of mine from my uni days heard what was happening and they got in contact, telling me that if I wanted help, all I needed was ask for it.

Somehow I managed to hold down a high paying job at the beginning. That’s how the usage escalated so quickly. That and my dealer would test out new batches on me.

I scoffed. In my mind, the drug abuse was a perpetual scream for help. I didn’t need to articulate it any further. It was apparent in my actions.

I hid it as best as I could at first, but that didn’t last long. The weight loss was the first sign. That and the endless nights spent awake. I lived with my cousin at the time, and it was their partner who alerted them to my usage: the whiff of alcohol swabs one night caught their attention.

I explained this to them.

Rather than freak out, my cousin wanted in. They retained a level head throughout while I gradually was doing about $750 a week. I’d spend the nights either travelling the world wide web or roaming the suburbs.

That day I rang up for drug counselling. I crawled home, in physical pain from crying and coming down. I weighed a little over 40kgs. I was using $1.5K of crystal meth a week. I reached home and slept, solid, for 10 days.

Fortunately I wasn’t overtly sexual on the drug: I’ve heard horror stories of people using meth and then barebacking with multiple partners in a night without a care in the world. For those people, prostitution to fund their habit was easy. For me? Sex was the furthest thing from my mind. Thankfully.

In order to get clean, I recommend drug counselling. Talk to a therapist. Go twice a week to begin with if you can, once a week at the least thereafter. Stick at it. Yes, it’s tough, but the reward is incredible. Not just to have your face fill out with fat, but have it beam with pride as you look your family in the eye once again.

Instead I was all about being crazy and having fun. I was the clown, the light entertainment. And trust me, when people start tweaking out and getting paranoid, you want the laughing rather than reaching for a carving knife.

To destroy yourself on drugs is surprisingly easy. But to heal yourself from that damage takes just the same will and determination.

That was another thing I got lucky with: there were no shadow people. I didn’t pick at my skin trying to catch imaginary bugs like I once

If you or somebody you know is using drugs, Michael recommends contacting Cyrenian House (www.cyrenianhouse.com/).

They tore strips off me, over the phone. Every insight they spat at me stung. I crumpled. I sobbed. I heaved. The pain I had been holding on to tore me apart as it escaped from me.

Words by Michael X

12 11

All throughout the world people experiment sexually and one common way of experimenting sexually is through fetishes. A fetish is any object or body part whether real or fantasised about that is necessary for sexual gratification. It is both a physical and a psychological need. One may be considered weird or unusual for having such a need, but it is actually quite common. Almost everyone on this planet has developed a fetish at some point during their life. Some fetishes are quite common whilst others are rather taboo and looked upon with repulse. Whichever type of fetish someone has, they should not feel like a monster. It is perfectly normal. There are some fetishes that possibly shouldn’t be played out, but that is up to the discretion of the individual. Many are safe and quite normal and just result in a far more satisfying sexual experience. It may not always be wise to discuss these fetishes with others, but those who you trust will most likely understand. There are also many groups and websites on the internet that deal with fetishes. It can be quite good for people with fetishes to join. Many artists in society include fetishism in their works and are therefore making it more normal and accepted. Some movies also include fetish scenes which are usually quite interesting and sometimes confrontational. That is good though. It makes people question exactly what they are into and can help them redefine their fetish (es). Many books also include fetishes and erotic sex scenes. Fetishes can be noticed everywhere you look, some more so than others.

•

Fingernail art – designs on finger nails,

•

Kissing – being kissed, kissing, watching others kiss,

•

Vampires – anything to do with vampires.

There are some rather weird and unusual fetishes that are experimented with as well. Some of these are: •

Furry Fandom – involves dressing up as an animal and acting like an animal, watching others dress up as an animal,

•

Teratophillia- is about being aroused by deformed or monstrous looking people,

•

Urolognia – is the act of urinating on or being urinated on,

•

Emetophilia –involves the act of vomiting on or being vomited on,

•

Blood fetish – this can involve making one bleed, seeing blood, licking or drinking blood,

•

Coprophilia – the act of defecating on or being defecated on,

•

Necrophilia – the act of have sexual intercourse with a dead person,

•

Plushophilia – using soft toys to gain sexual pleasure, it also includes modifying soft toys to be able to gain sexual pleasure.

Some of the more common fetishes include:

•

Feet – having ones feet being worshiped or worshipping another’s feet,

•

High heels or boots – the sensation of wearing or watching another wear,

•

Piercings – being pierced, watching another being pierced or people with piercings,

•

Silk, satin, leather or latex – usually wearing or touching the material,

•

Hands – similar to feet but can also be just looking at another’s hands,

•

Hair – having it touched, touching it,

•

Role playing – dressing up and acting out i.e.: doctor and patient,

Some of the above fetishes may seem disturbing to readers, but to those who actively enjoy these fetishes it is quite normal and natural. Fetishes can also be acted out with a partner. They don’t necessarily have to be acted out individually. Sharing fetishes in a partnership can even enhance trust and communication within the relationship. It is definitely a really good way of making things interesting in the bedroom. Experimenting ensures that sexual relations do not become boring. This may be daunting to some and make people nervous but it is part of the experience. Exploring with a partner or even discovering your fetishes on your own is half the fun. Some stories from active fetishists are as follows.

Dadies_Lil_girl “When I was 5, I would be playing with my stuffed toys. I would imagine that my pink rabbit teddy was in charge of the other toys and was telling them to kidnap me and do naughty things with me. When I grew up, this turned into a man taking me and shrinking me and using me for his sexual pleasure. I have a microphilia fetish which involves being shrunk down and having sex with regular sized men.”

TiffyToss “A few years ago, when I was just discovering the kinky world of BDSM, I ventured into a BDSM party. I, um, was a touch inebriated...Dutch courage I’m sure and well to be in a party mood. During the course of the evening I was approached by a Mistress who “TOLD ME” that I was soon to be flogged. I was a little apprehensive at this but she assured me that I had nothing to worry about She then proceeded to give me instructions that I had two words “Amber” and “Red.”Amber was to keep receiving the flogging but not to be so intense and Red to stop! Further I was instructed to keep wagging my bottom to ensure I was still happy, to put my bottom out to receive harder strokes and pull it in for the strokes to be softer. So there I was bottom bared and leaning over a caning form, receiving a variety of flogging strokes some hard and some soft, then the gentle caress of a hand and then back to flogging. The direction of the flogging alternated from my back to my bottom and back again! I experimented; I pushed my bottom out until I couldn’t take the pain and then pulled it back in. The variation of strokes, the change of floggers, slowly I found myself zoning out where in a room of 80 to 100 people all I could detect was myself and the mistress flogging me! It was at that moment I realized that I liked this, more; I need this, I was hooked on this! I had found my first true fetish, Flogging!”

Scottybsub “It was 2001 and I was 16. This is where I met a goddess called Mizz Casant. She matured my age by 14 years, but this only added to the fire that burnt when she took control of me. “Her Pet, Her Sex toy.” She could bend my will with her eyes, and manipulate my thoughts with her curves. I was to never know what average sex was like again, this was the best year of my life. Unfortunately she had to leave the country. I was asked to go but only being then, 17 I did not. I’m still wondering around looking for My Mistress, my sexual anchor. My fetish is being a submissive. Owned and controlled by another.”

Braph

“When I was 16, I knew I was kinky but I was not sure what all my fetishes were. One day I was playing around with 2 girls, one of which was my girlfriend. They were just tying each other up and playing around with candle wax and ice. However as the night went on I grew progressively more drunk which drew out my sadistic side. That night I realised I had an asphyxiation fetish when I had my girlfriends best friend pinned down and started suffocating her, while my girlfriend pointed a knife at me and screamed “get the fuck off her.” Later on we became boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 years. During that time we played around with asphyxiation, learning how to do it more safely and through different methods. Sex has never been complete without it since.”

LunaStark “As a young girl, I met a lovely group of self proclaimed vampires who introduced me to the art of blood drinking and biting. Ever since then, I have discovered not only an occasional craving for the blood of others, but also the eroticism of the deed. The act of drinking the life force of another human being is gratifying and makes me feel extremely close to them. In a way, I can feel my partner’s energy flowing through me through their blood. The taste in itself is brilliant, and I’ve noticed that things such as the diet of the donor or even their emotions can affect the taste and feeling of the blood. It takes a lot of work in order to practice it safely, but to me it is an extremely amazing experience for me and my partner.” Words by Alysha Edwards

Bibiliomania

Everyone seems to suffer from it, whether it is a figure of speech,

parlance then it is safe to say most of us know or have known someone stuck by addiction. Now, we are all familiar with drug addiction and sex addiction, some more familiar than others (insert Charlie sheen gag), yet certain things we may take as regular, normal day activities could be classified as an addiction. Join me on a journey of repetitive actions resulting in temporarily satisfied minds and on the whole, unsatisfying lives.

Porn Controversial! Perhaps in the 1950’s. It seems we have such a lax attitude to it now, yes it is somewhat a taboo and pushed under the bed but as demonstrated on television show ‘Can of Worms’ porn is accepted as a part of our society. I think it is safe to assume that most males of a certain age have engaged in the task of watching porn, as I’m sure there are a number of women who enjoy viewing the naughty box (yes pun intended). Problems with a porn habit include; inhibited social life, sexual intimacy problems, slow internet connection and hand cramps.

Eating Healthily Orthorexia nervosa. Whilst most of us seem to struggle to eat healthily all the time and keep away from high fat high sugar foods, sufferers of Orethexia nervosa don’t seem have an issue with maintaining a healthy diet, or do they? Orthexia nervosa is a compulsion driving people to eat foods that the sufferer considerers healthy, the problem being that they will often obsess over one food in a very unhealthy way. While it may seem healthier to have a diet consisting of only carrots over a diet of fast food, too much of one thing is never good. We need a balanced diet to survive because it is actually possible to die eating only carrots.

Plastic surgery Most obvious examples of plastic surgery would be the late Michael Jackson, Heidi Montag (The Hills), Joan Rivers, Cher, Mickey Rourke and Jocelyn Wildenstein (better known as the crazy lady who tried to make her face look like a cat’s). Apparently the initial boost of ego and feeling of self-worth is so powerful, addiction to surgery many ensue.

Gym/Exercise

Personally, I can never image suffering this addiction, but I am after all, a lazy piece of shit. I must admit from the rare few times I have ventured outside to embrace the healthy lifestyle, the euphoric rush of completing exercise is ecstatic. Obviously a recurring theme of this article is that too much of anything is never good. Studies have shown that moderate amounts of exercise increase the brain growth of animals. Excessive exercise in animals and humans actually has the opposite effect, decreasing brain growth. Might explain the state of Rugby League.

As many of the addictions listed in this article, bibliomania is often a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Interestingly enough, a bibliomaniac is not necessarily obsessed with reading, in-fact a bibliomaniac may be dyslexic; the addiction comes from the collecting or hoarding of books as an object. Most famous case of a bibliomaniac was Stephen Blumberg, who was convicted of stealing $5.3 million worth of books.

Pet Hoarding A less amusing hoarding compulsion is one involved with live animals. A pet hoarder is classified as someone who owns more animals than they are capable of taking care of. The animals may starve and suffer health problems due to the unhealthy environment, such as the animal faeces commonly found in an animal hoarders house. We must not mistake the intentions of an animal hoarder; there is no malicious intent towards the animals. A hoarder will often feel strongly attached to the animals, so much so that they are unable to see that they are causing the animals more harm than good. A couple of others to think about: Body modifications Tattoos, piercing, plastic surgery, botox. Let’s face it, we all love mutilating ourselves. Shopping: Shop ‘till you drop, with debt. Facebook/internet/wow/video games: Nothing says “hello ladies” like spending all day on the computer (Oh wait..Shit). Tannings: What’s hotter than looking like you have been covered in gravox? Eating Dirt:

Geophagy; the act of eating dirt, apparently for the sulphur and phosphorous content. Can’t think of anything witty to say really, it’s just plain weird.

Words by Kaprou Lea

would like to begin by asking you a question. Kindly stop reading for a second and take a good look at your hands. We tend to forget this, but our hands (and the rest of our body) consist of literally trillions upon trillions of miniscule atoms – carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, calcium etc. Now ask yourself: where do you suppose all those atoms came from? How and when were they formed? The answer is perhaps not what you might have expected. You, dear reader, are walking, talking stardust! Every atom in your body was forged in a supernova, an exploding star – an ancient explosion, billions of years old and so colossal it would’ve outshone the entire galaxy. What’s more, the atoms in your right hand were more than likely formed in a different supernova to the atoms in your left hand. Stars had to die so that you could live! This is one of the most poetic things I know about physics and it is this sort of deep insight into our relationship with the cosmos that makes me so passionate and excited about science. I’ve often heard it said that science is for nerds, that it’s boring, complicated and too difficult for most of us to comprehend. This is a tragic misconception and one that I hope to change, for gaining a thorough appreciation of the scientific mindset can be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience. Before I continue, however, I would like to explain what is actually meant by this mysterious term “science”. Science is a process. It is the best process we have at determining what is true about the universe. Science is motivated by curiosity – a desire to gain a greater understanding of the natural world and our place within it. All scientific inquiry begins with a question, for example: what causes the tides to go in and out? The next step is to propose a possible answer to the question – this is called a hypothesis: tides are caused by the gravitational interaction between the Earth and the Moon. Once a hypothesis has been proposed, it must be tested; this is done by performing experiments and gathering evidence. When determining the validity of a hypothesis, evidence and reality always takes precedence. No matter how old, or cherished, or how elegant a hypothesis is, if it is found to disagree with physical reality then it must be modified or discarded and a new hypothesis proposed – herein lies the key to the scientific method.

I realise that not all of us can become scientists; in fact, a world filled with scientists would probably be rather dull. However, learning to think like a scientist is an incredibly valuable tool. We must learn to treat all ideas –everything from the latest diet craze to UFOs– as scientific hypotheses; if an idea is not supported by any evidence and if it does not stand up to rigorous questioning, then it should be dismissed. That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. Faith is definitely not a virtue, and we should come to value skepticism and rational argument as well as rejecting any form of supernaturalism, for a supernatural explanation to a phenomenon is not really an explanation at all. Finally, I would like to point out that the thrill of scientific discovery and an appreciation of the true workings of nature is not just available to scientists – but to us all. You do not have to be an astrophysicist to marvel at the majesty of the cosmos, nor is being a geologist a necessary requirement for understanding the immensity of the geological time scale. You live on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with colour and bountiful with life. I think it is important to occasionally shake off the feeling of normality that pervades our everyday existence and view the world through new eyes. This can be achieved through an understanding of science – an extremely powerful, yet noble and enlightening endeavour that enables us to truly appreciate the magic of reality. Words by Alistair Milne

Our insatiable appetite for knowledge drives us to delve ever deeper into the workings of the universe and slowly we are beginning to unravel its mysteries. Without the scientific method, this journey of discovery would be impossible. However, despite its immense capability, science can never be said to reveal absolute truth; for there is always the possibility that our current understanding of nature will be contradicted by new evidence uncovered in the future. When a scientist states that something it ‘true’, they are really saying that all the current evidences supports it – the theory has yet to be proven wrong.

Let’s get W.E.T.

Female ejaculation is a curious and elusive topic, which refers to GSM the liquid expelled by females during orgasm. The history of female ejaculation traces back as far as 2000 years ago and a reported 3550% of sexually active women have notified that at some time they have experienced a gush of liquid whilst orgasming, ranging from spurts of 15 to 200ml.

Aristotle was the first known individual to record and describe the experience and notion of female ejaculation. It was believed that the expulsion of fluid by females could contain sufficient semen for procreation purposes. Previously it was even thought to be a sign of urinary incontinency. As time flew by however, it became evident that the fluid secreted was sterile and eventually female ejaculation fell into obscurity in the science and medical world. Female ejaculation is also linked to the much debated and controversial G-spot otherwise known as the female prostate. There are female stimulation and ejaculation classes run in our very own town of Perth. Apart from running a sex store, Anna Magdalena runs educational hands on female stimulation classes, known as W.E.T (women’s ejaculation training). This acronym and title was coined by Anna Magdelena as a way of making G-spot orgasm learning fun and creative. What initially began as a women’s only group soon turned into a mixed mass of males and females; as many became increasingly intrigued and interested in learning the art of the G-spot orgasm and how to achieve female ejaculation. After recently completing a one on one specially mentored programme by the original Mother of G-spot teaching - Deborah Sundahl from the United States, Anna currently runs the workshops as a “hands on” discovery over a one day workshop & also weekender workshops. For the time being the two hour seminar covers the basics of information & education, offering a wealth of knowledge for a window of opportunity for individuals and groups to build on. We decided to chat to Anna and gain insight into this taboo subject...

GSM offer?

Hi Anna, Can you please explain the service that you

I run the W.E.T - Women’s Ejaculation Training workshops to educate people on the existence of the Gspot. I am what you may call a “Gspot Midwife”.

Anna

What can one expect to happen at one of these classes?

I run a variety of seminars. In the 2 hour seminar - which is what I have currently been running, individuals will learn about the anatomical aspects of the Gspot, where it is located, how to stimulate it & how to orgasm & ejaculate. It is the theoretical component of the “how tos”

Anna

In the “Hands on” workshops one learns to locate it, see it, touch it & stimulate it. The 1 day workshop is a discovery day. The weekenders - yet to be run, you actually learn to ejaculate.This is a very intense weekender. Who would be encouraged to attend the class?

GSM

Anyone women, men

Anna –

is &

encouraged and can attend couples, all are welcome.

GSM What is often the reason some women cannot achieve orgasm? The main block to achieving orgasm is the MIND & not relaxing. Unfortunately women tend to BLOCK pleasure extremely well.

Anna GSM

What is something they can do to overcome this?

Evidently this is taught in the workshops however as an overview, in order to overcome this they need to stop honing in on negative thoughts & emotions, & MOST importantly they need to RELAX & BREATHE

Anna

GSM

Can you tell us about the ever elusive G-Spot?

Without participating in one of my classes to get an understanding of the Gspot I can only say here that the debate is over & the Gspot EXISTS. It is the female version of the male Prostate or Pspot.

Anna GSM

Can you enlighten us in regards to female ejaculation?

Again without attending the workshops it’s really hard to explain fully here – However female ejaculation is the release of ejaculate by the Gspot or female prostate. It builds up during stimulation & is expelled from the body - it was regarded by many ancients as sacred nectar or AMRITA.

Anna

Can you offer any advice to women who cannot achieve orgasm during intercourse?

GSM

Depending on the type of orgasm you are referring to (as there is more than one), the key to achieving orgasm is self-exploration, relaxation, and breathing. The most important thing however of course is practice, because practice makes perfect. As a woman eventually becomes more in-tune with her body, then she is more likely to achieve orgasm during intercourse.

Anna

GSM Is there one guaranteed ‘move’ for men? Anna The only real move a guy can make is Patience. It really is not

about what he can do, it’s what she can do to help him in order to learn. If she does not know her body but expects him to know everything then it’s not likely to happen. Men can only learn if they are told by a woman who knows her own. Most women want a partner to know everything but never want to be responsible for knowing their own bodies. It is in fact very empowering for a woman to learn & know as much about her own body as possible and eventually has the ability to be able to communicate this to her partner, this is invaluable. Most women give that power away and wonder why they are dissatisfied. In the classes this is discussed in great detail & guys can learn techniques & positions to aid G spot stimulation & ejaculation. What advice do you suggest to men whom feel they have ‘shortcomings’ in regards to size?

GSM

I tell Guys who feel they have short-comings to get over it! Learn to use what you have to the best of your ability. A good attentive, patient, communicative lover ticks all the boxes regardless of size.

Anna

GSM Porn has slowly become more and more socially acceptable. Do you think an overuse of porn can have an effect on one’s sex life?

Anna Porn is a tricky one as it can be debated ad nauseum for &

against its place in one’s sex life. Like anything too much of something can work to desensitize the individual. Those that are addicted to porn can negatively affect their relationships & sex lives. Like any addiction it becomes the main focus of the individual’s life. However, when we are referring to general use of porn to aid stimulation in the case of men who are visual creatures, it aids their need to jack -off regularly. It is a function based activity. In relationships it can aid as foreplay. The down side is, in my opinion, being a society that places emphasis on how we look, this can & has impacted on the self-esteem of women who are now watching porn more than ever before & are comparing themselves to porn stars. This can & has resulted in low-self esteem. Many of whom seek plastic/ cosmetic surgery including Labiaplasty etc. This topic & my opinions are not exhausted here neither is the discussion or debate around it. This is just a snap shot view.

GSM

possible

have

‘anal

orgasm’?

A woman can achieve a G-spot orgasm through anal intercourse. Anal orgasm can be achieved by Men when their prostate is stimulated. I am intending to run a discussion workshop on this soon :)

Anna

GSM

What

sex

toy

you

currently

recommend?

Anna The GIGI, the Ina or the Iris -by LELO, Any glass toy with a

bulbous head (I am a huge fan) & there is the mini rabbit vibe - (not the ivibe rabbit or mini ivibe rabbit). It is only 4 inches long with no beads and a small clit stim. These are amazing for Gspot stimulation too. As for a general vibe - each person is different and may require a selection of toys to do the job. But I do recommend anything that is made of hygienic material - Medical grade Silicone, glass; aluminium & stainless steel are amongst my highest rated favourites. Words by Giselle Natassia

As you may be aware, our Government (both Federal and State)

We need a nation-wide internet filter.

Don’t smoke pot.

Why? For the children. She’s scared that children may view heavily pornographic and/or violent material. It is also to curb the amount of child porn available on the net. Ok, more than understandable. Child porn should never exist, and should be banned immediately, but when it comes to the other things, don’t punish a whole nation for it; this type of material is made for and by adults, not children. If she’s so scared of children accessing such material, she should educate parents and tell them to put on appropriate internet filters onto their own personal computers.

says what we can and can’t do. It makes laws to make society run smoother. It should be by the people, for the people. However, this hasn’t been the case with laws that have been made/proposed to be made that are only for either personal/monetary profit or “in the public interest” with none of the public actually interested in them existing. This is where the term “Nanny State” comes in: our Governments are trying to nanny us with inappropriate laws in all departments of life. Here are a couple of things that Nanny has to say.

Having been dubbed “the weed capital of Australia”, Western Australia has the highest use of marijuana with one in seven people having used it in the past 12 months. On this note, Police Minister Rob Johnson decided to strengthen laws announcing that this is the “beginning of the war on drugs”; RIGHT after the Global Commission on Drugs (a UN organisation) has declared that governments should decriminalise the use of drugs as the worldwide “war” has failed miserably. Portugal decriminalised the use of drugs in the early 2000s and since then, drug use amongst 18-25 year olds has fallen by 50%. But nanny still decided to go ahead with her laws and from August the 1st, carrying more than 10 grams on your person can lead up to $2000 fine and 2 years jail. Anything less than 10 grams, and you will receive a summons to attend a mandatory counselling session. As soon as something is criminalised even more than it already is, it goes further underground into the hands of organised crime, something that I’m sure the government would like to curb.

Out of all the drugs Nanny chooses to focuses on, she chooses pot. Not amphetamines, not heroin, not cocaine, not the problematic ones that cause anti-social behaviour. Nope, pot. Arguably the “softest” drug available and they make more laws against it. Instead of putting in time, money and effort into shutting down meth-labs (which have increased in numbers exponentially), they are going to police pot even more. Yes, pot can harm people, yet so does alcohol. Why the sudden care for our wellbeing if nanny is cool with the sale of alcohol? Shouldn’t she be cool with things across the board? Apparently not. If she’d put half the amount of energy that’s put into marijuana, into education about alcohol, we’d have a lot less problems.

According to Wikileaks, under the internet filter, a variety of violent videogame sites, fetish sites and pornographic sites would be shut down all in the hope that children would not be influenced by such material. As an adult, I have the right to choose whether I view pornography and play violent videogames. Pornography can be sexy, erotic, kinky and imaginative, and in my opinion, stimulates a healthy sexuality and not a fake impression of what sex should be like. Violent videogames aren’t real, and when people play them, they know this. To them it’s just a bit of harmless fun on screen. With this proposed internet filter, our internet speeds could be slowed down by up to 80%, and certain adult rights will be taken away from us, and for what? To do a job that should be done by responsible parents? In recent times, the call for an internet filter has been quietened; however, when it was at its peak, it was even taking precedent over the National Broadband Network, something that we need in order to be on par with the rest of the digitalised world. Good work, Nanny. Nanny, please go make yourself a cup of tea, sit down and leave us the hell alone. We’ll be just fine, don’t worry.

Words by Chris Sujkowski

It has been an uphill battle for Australian gamers to achieve an R18 classification in Australia, but as of a recent Standing Council of Attorneys-General meeting an In-Principle agreement has been met. What this means is hopefully by the end of the year adult gamers will be able to play adult games with adult content. You would think that due to statistics showing the average gamer to be 25-35 years old that minority groups would stop in their attempts to restrict adults of their choice in what mediums they enjoy. But the do-gooders of society are generally those people that see video games as being “just for kids who will grow out of it eventually” instead of the medium that it is, like any other such as art, music, movies and books. The reasons we haven’t seen such progress in the Australian gaming sector before is due to the minority in power believing in their silly arguments against the R18 classification. These include the apparent “fact” that it will give children greater access to more violent content, making them criminals after playing ‘violent video games’. Some of these minority members even have the gall to say they have researched into the causes of increased anger in children and the probability this would make them overly violent being related to the amount of video game material they played, when in truth this is bollocks as actual research papers have been released a long time ago showing how they do not. The point of the above argument held by the minority invalidates itself with its own twisted logic in how the R18 classification system, and how distributors of games, work. If you were 15 and popped into EB games looking for Fallout 3 (The actual version that was originally banned but was later dumbed down to get in with an MA15 classification), you would be met by a no sale. Distributors of video games like EB games, Game, and others are legally not allowed to sell age restricted content to those not of the age, or face penalties and hefty fines in the tens of thousands. However, this does not stop a parent from purchasing their child a game, regardless of classification. The current MA15 classification allows most R18 games to get into Australia under the guise of a teen game. Some of those R18 games do not even have to

be dumbed down to enter the country with an MA15 label due to poor policy. What most politicians that oppose the R18 don’t want to say is that it is the parent’s responsibility in what they allow their child to play. With the R18 classification, it will make it far easier for parents to decide whether their child should actually be viewing content specifically directed at adults, like any R18 movie or equivalent media. Currently MA15 is a joke in the fact that it isn’t R18. No parent would say yes to an R18 rated game for a 12-year old but if an R18 rated game is marketed as an MA15, the would change things. R18 will give parents the clearest distinction between teen content and adult content, and will hopefully help in their decision making on what games they purchase for their kids. Being a gamer at the age of 21 it appals me that it took this long for politicians to get their act together on this subject. I also facepalm whenever I hear the “Games are for kids” argument, the audacity of these people when the facts are put right in front of them but are still ignorant irritates me. I do not want a minority dictating their ideals on what content I should be involved in, nor classifying me as a violent youth with a potential for becoming a criminal. Double facepalm! Why does progress wait around on the minority, when this is a democracy we live in? Not introducing this classification promotes piracy (or importing), restricts freedom of choice of adult gamers and due to the way MA15 currently works, allows adult content to reach a younger audience than the content was intended for. Gaining the R18 classification is a big step for Australia, showing how it has matured and that it accepts the average gamer is no longer 12-15, but 25-35 years of age. Australian gamers have been crying out for this day to come, and within the year, it should be here.

Words by Chris Gibson

Mabe he soured the mouths of generations come. I am aware of the inconsistencies seen in those who also claim this label of mine. American songwriter Derek Webb is aware of them too. You say you always treat people like you’d like to be/I guess you love being hated for your sexuality/You love when people put words in your mouth/’Bout what you believe, make you sound like a freak/’Cause if you really believe what you say you believe/You wouldn’t be so damn reckless with the words you speak. Maybe he says it better than most. As I’ve wandered the paths of our campuses, I’ve often pondered the influences that alienate certain groups of people. I’m don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. Physically I’m sure I just blend in. When I pass by you I don’t think I look, sound, or smell any different. You might ask, why should I bother to believe the way I do? Well, let me explain. Swimming is good, I don’t mind a dip occasionally. But I wasn’t born to be spending my life pushed around by currents and waves and winds. Mostly I need something solid to stand on. You do too if you think about it. Our world is much like a ocean of ideas, opinions, loyalties, parties, philosophies, and beliefs. From all this, you and I have to choose something to latch on to. Ultimately, all of us need something, or someone, to define who we are. When I was about 10 or 12, I lived and breathed cricket. I could tell you players’ batting averages or the number of catches they had taken. Cricket was it for me. I have a friend (not a Christian by the way) who said to me once, “Everybody has to believe in something, whether it’s God or the bar stool down at the local pub.” I’m inclined to agree.

Loving The Alien I’m an alien/I’m a legal alien/I’m an Englishman in New York. So sung

Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, better known as Sting, back in 1987. I think I can with him a little, sometimes I feel like in anNew alienYork. myself. I’midentify an alien/I’m a legal alien/I’m an Englishman So You see, sung I’m Christian on an Australian University campus. Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, better known as Sting, back in 1987. I think I can identify with him a little, sometimes I feel like I can imagine all the forming in your Stuff University you have an aliennow myself. Youcliches see, I’m Christian on anhead. Australian picked up from your own experience, heard from news media, or learned campus. from the volumes of such popular sources as Simpsons or Southpark. I do have to admit have a ring of truth abouthead. them.Stuff you I can though, imaginecliches now alloften the cliches forming in your have picked up from your own experience, heard from news media, Christianity has notfrom had the best of histories Australia. Perhaps we can or learned volumes of such in popular sources as Simpsons blame Samuel Marsden, came to Australia 1794.often He was a or Southpark. I dowho have to admit though, in cliches have first a ring clergyman, second a wealthy of truth about them. landholder, and was later appointed a district magistrate. His reputation for extreme severity left him with the enduring nicknameChristianity of “The Flogging Parson”. he soured the mouths of has not had the bestMaybe of histories in Australia. Perhaps generations we to cancome. blame Samuel Marsden, who came to Australia in 1794. He was first a clergyman, second a wealthy landholder, and was later appointed a district magistrate. His reputation for extreme severity left him with the enduring nickname of “The Flogging Parson”.

So to put it simply, I choose to attach my identity to a person. Someone quite radical actually. Nobody has ever been able to polarise opinion the way Jesus Christ has. The church bureaucracy of his day were madly jealous. Political powers puzzled over his ability to generate so much public attention. In the end they joined forces and executed Him. Then there was the crowd. They were never sure if they loved Him, or hated Him, or both.

However, it was what He said about Himself that stands out the most. Our media or sporting stars attract a following; but can promise little in return. Organised political, religious, or belief systems will claim to point you in the right direction. But Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” In this respect He is quite unique. Whether He can verify such claims is up to our own investigation. He remains an enigmatic figure, one who troubles those who claim to follow Him almost more than those who don’t. At the end of the day, I’d like to think I’m much the same as you. Or Sting for that matter. We live in the same world after all. Each of us must choose a worldview, value system, and beliefs. Maybe that makes you an alien too. Me? Well, I choose to be a follower of Jesus. What do you believe? Words by Derek O’Hare

You may wonder why I’m talking about depression when the theme is drugs, sex n’ rock and roll. Well, I was compelled to write this article because this last week I haven’t been able to get away from the It gets better project. The first time I heard about it was watching the film clip Make It Stop (Septembers children) by Rise Against. The song and film clip are both dedicated to homosexual teenagers who have committed suicide. The song even names these kids and the ages they were when they committed suicide. The most known out of these would probably be Tyler Clementi at the age of 18. He committed suicide after his roommate streamed live footage of him having sex with another man. The clip hit a sore spot and brought tears to my eyes. Consequently, I visited www.itgetsbetter.org . A week later I’d pushed it to the back of my mind and went to uni. To my surprise, written in marker on a cubical wall was “it gets better”. As if by coincidence, MTV played the song again later that night. Although It Gets Better is dedicated to gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transvestite teenagers, I think it’s a good site for people of all sexual orientations. It appears that celebrities and caring people are trying to raise awareness of what depression really is. Still, people often misunderstand depression, thinking it’s a weakness of the mind or attention seeking. Depression is a mental disorder that affects one out of every six people at some point in their life and it’s a lot more than just a feeling. According to Bobbie Mizen, a Youth Out Reach Worker, a person with depression “feels like they are in a rut, and they cant get out of it.” Depression is a disorder that can cause a person to feel lost, hopeless, lose interest in their life and be constantly moody for a period of time that lasts more than two weeks. It’s important to remember that depression is a disorder that can be managed. Everybody’s different. Some people are more likely to get depression than others. Things such as a history of depression within the family and biochemical factors (the brains mood regulators not working properly) can result in depression. Stressful events or a chain of events such as family break-ups, abuse, bullying, rape, death, isolation, unemployment, serious medical issues and drug use; having a baby (post natal depression) can increase the chances of depression. Personality styles such as people who are anxious, have low self-esteem, are perfectionists or shy; and other mental illnesses also puts a person at risk of depression.

Just like people are different, depression is different. There’s more than one type of depression, with each being caused by different things and being treated differently. There is depression affected by the psychological factors (events), and depression caused by biochemicals in the brain. Some only last a little while and some can last for years. Some need to be treated with medication, some with therapy and some with both. There are times when life gets extremely hard, and we don’t always know who it is we should turn to. This is when we need our friends and family the most. But it should also be remembered that there is professional help out there. Not only is there Internet sites and helplines that support people with depression, but ECU also offers student counselling to those who need it. Both the University and the Guild have people who are willing to support those who need it. Some people are scared to get help, as they are afraid of what the reactions of others will be. However, from personal experience, even the GP can be more helpful than you may think. I’ve found that the problem with depression is that a lot of people don’t think that it’s real or understand the disorder. Being depressed doesn’t mean you’re weak. When suffering from depression, it’s hard for a person to see things clearly. For me, it was a mix of hopelessness and numbness that I often woke up to. So to see this inspiring writing on a cubical wall was surprisingly pleasant. “It gets better”. It really does. All you have to do is tough it out, grit your teeth and deal with life head on. It is nice to know that there are people out there actively trying to help people with depression from itgetsbetter to beyondblue to reachout. My suggestion to people who think they might have depression is to research your symptoms and record them. If you’re convinced after doing this, get help. To those who have helped others beat depression, I say please don’t stop, your help is important. To those who help me, I’d like to say thankyou, I can’t do it without you.

Words by Annonymous

Chic

Colour Blocking is back!

It is time to bring out the colours of your closet. Colour Blocking is perfect for Spring and it has been seen in the most desirable and inspiring catwalks. After seeing the adorable Kylie Gillies presenting The Morning Show on Channel 7, wearing a fabulous pink coat with a bright orange dress, I knew Colour Blocking had finally returned to Australia! This is a free and fun style technique composed by bright bold colours. Stylists recommend no less than 2 colours and no more than 3 colours. Bring some colour into your outfits by wearing colourful clothes and combining it with solid colour bags, jewellery, nail polish, lipstick, etc. If you have no colours on your shoe rack than go for brown or neutral colours of shoes. Gabrielle Pasqualon Follow me on Twitter! @GMissGPasqualon

Chic

1 Jack McAuliffe 2 Caitlyn Cassidy 3 Yasmin Jefcoate 4 Scott-Patrick Mitchell 5 Holly Yoshida 6 Ben McDonald

Dust blowing after a summer rainstorm

Nadaam Festival - Ulan Baatar

Ulan Baatar Suburbs (yurt in foreground)

Mongol-Soviet WW2 Memorial

Recently

Pix

I visited Hong Kong, China (Shanghai-Beijing) and Mongolia (Ulan Baatar) for the first time. Despite the phenomenal pace of Westernising development of China and Mongolias’ cityscapes, each still projected a distinctly local personality. Hong Kong was wealthy (without being ostentatious), cosmopolitan, and came across as comfortable and confident in its Cantonese-British heritage. It is a city dominated by boldly designed commercial buildings and dowdy residential towers. Ulan Baatar by contrast was relatively sprawling, comfortably poor and buzzed with a quiet excitement. It’s a city on the edge of a mining boom projected to make Monglia one of the richest per capita nations in Asia. The cityscape was a mix of traditional yurts, Soviet-era apartment towers and modern small businesses. Symbols of Mongolian nationalism was emphasised at every opportunity, but Mongolians seem just as open to Western culture as Hong Kong. These two cities provided the most dynamic contrast for comparison. Shanghai was characterised by sprawling monotonous high-rise. Even the rooftops only seemed to come in two colours. Outside the Consessions and the Pudong there was little that exclaimed ‘this is Shanghai’. Bejing was an ecclectic mix of Maoist kitsch and contemporary design. Visitors often complain about how soulless Tianamen Square is, but I found it resonated with a strong personality harking back to the heyday of Mao. If Shanghai is Sydney; big, commercial and international then Bejing is its Melbourne; edgy, provincial, and innovative. While China was an alien landscape Mongolia was surprisingly familiar from the rolling plains of the Gobi Desert to the open blue skies. As small-town cities Ulan Bataar felt very similar to Perth, both with a noticeably relaxed vibe and a sense of being self-aware to their relative isolation. Words and photos by Tom Reynolds

Arts

Talkin’ bout Josh Thomas

Well I can’t really complain about it. I mean there are some things, but I haven’t seen it all. Nobody wants to watch it and sit next to me. But I have some things that’s like “oh, that’s gross!” It’s pretty full on. If there are things I don’t want to talk about or think that people won’t hear about, he WILL talk about it.

Has this success been part of a plan or is it something that just happened along the way?

GSM

No. No plan. I started out when I was 17. I suppose that there is a plan to get a job on a panel show or something, but you don’t really know what’s going to happen. Mostly I just try and say yes to the good things and no to the bad things.

GSM

How do you know which is which?

Is there a difference between Josh Thomas the comedian and Josh Thomas the boy from Brisbane?

GSM

JT You don’t. Mostly you just think this would be fun to do and think it’ll be entertaining. But I really have no idea.

One of our Twitter followers (@ECUGuild) wanted to know about your accent. Is it something you play up in your performance?

GSM JT

No, not on purpose. I don’t know why I talk the way I do.

GSM You publicly came out less than two years ago. What was your biggest anxiety about coming out? And has any of those anxieties come through?

I couldn’t be bothered people asking about it. I did have some concerns about whether my fans would still come to my show. Before I came out there was about 6 months there were it was a lot of screaming 14 year old girls, like at some Justin Bieber concert. But I was quite happy for them to stop coming to my show. But no, I haven’t had any problems with coming out. Nothing has ever happened. Why would they care?

Looking back at some of your stuff before you came out, how do you feel about your old material? A lot of it was about dating and having sex with women.

GSM

It was all true. I don’t have to feel weird about it. It still happens, some of the things I talked about.

GSM

Is stand up just therapy with punchlines?

JT I talk a lot about private stuff. Not because it’s therapy, but because I think it’s funny. I wouldn’t talk about stuff that’s just bullshit.

What’s more important; getting the punchline or telling the story and engaging with the audience?

GSM

I’m more concerned with being interesting than just funny. You can only be funny so much. Like some popular comedians tell only jokes and becomes boring after a while.

Do you think that to be a good stand-up that all of the stories have to be funny?

GSM

Yeah it has to be funny to be stand-up. Otherwise it would just be spoken words.. But during an hour show you could tell a sad story or something, but I don’t really do that.

Well talking about people who enjoy telling stories, Tom Ballard just finished his first national tour Since 1989 which was mostly about your guys’ relationship. How do you feel about having parts about your personal life put up a stage as part of someone else’s show?

No. It is pretty straight up just me. I’m too lazy to put up a sort of performance or to do any characters. I just tell stories about my life.

Does that make it a bit harder if people don’t respond so well to a story you tell?

GSM

If you tell a story that’s really personal and you think it’s very funny, and nobody laughs, you suddenly feel really horrible about that thing. I wrote a joke about my weird looking face and everyone laughed, and that became annoying because now I know that people think I have a weird looking face.

You were recently on Q&A. Do you think there is a role for politics or to advocate a certain view in stand up?

GSM

Yeah sure. You follow what’s going on. I try to avoid stuff that’s boring in my stand up. I like talking about some types of politics, and obviously Q&A is an appropriate forum for that. But in stand up you just talk about whatever you want to talk about. You talk about what you damn well please! I don’t think the audience really cares about what you talk about. They come for the jokes.

GSM

Is Tony Jones as good looking in person as he’s on screen?

I don’t think he’s good looking. I mean I don’t think he’s ugly, but he’s just too old for me. I mean I like him and I think he’s very charming, but I wouldn’t make out with him.

So you’re in your early twenties now and become successful. What do you want to do in your late twenties? Still doing stand-up or do you have other things you want to do?

GSM

I don’t know. (laughs) I guess I still would be telling jokes, but I really don’t know. I think this will be my last tour for a while because I’m running out of things to talk about.

GSM JT

We’re out of time. Thanks very much Josh!

Thanks.

GSM

Words by Tom Reynolds Transcription by Bjorn Myran

Arts

In the Grey Scale

The Cell

Sud Stories

4/5

2.5 / 5

3/5

Li Gang is a unique photographer. Instead of using a modern, high-quality digital camera, he prefers to use a primitive pinhole camera. In addition he took most pictures while moving by foot or by car. And the result? You must see Li Gang’s images of a woman’s legs as she moved through Seoul Subway. In two occasions, the combination of blurriness and movement makes nearly the whole legs disappear, leaving only the woman’s shoes and a wisp of smoke that is her legs. It feels like you are seeing a ghost walking in the subway. Creepy...

One does not often experience a peculiar combination of sensations as elation, confusion, confinement and disorientation. One even less expects to experience this cocktail of emotion inside a bouncy castle. At an art exhibition. The Cell is the most recent installment by one of Australia’s leading contemporary artists, Brook Andrew, and has finally made its way to the Perth Institute of Contemporary Art, showing in Western Australia for the first time.

Sud Stories is weird, absurd, insane, yet hilarious. A pun of word ‘sad’, this play reveals all secrets – shameful secrets – you’re all doing in a bathroom. C’mon, how many of you sing in a bathroom? How many of you treat your bathroom like a private swimming pool? Worse still, how many of you actually pee in a bathroom, don’t flush it and let the next person stepping on you-know-what?

Then there’s a set of pictures of a biker moving through the crowded road. Li Gang captured 21 images of the biker that happened to pass by and set them together to make a small animation. The result? A confusing picture that involves movement, lack of focus and dizziness. But hey, can you do any better if you’re using an old camera? I always have a fondness for scenery, and Li Gang also has four pictures of WanJing River. There is a sad image of a snowy deserted land, a shoot of the river at night that makes you feel like drowning, and a freedom of space of the greyscale sky over the trees. Sadly, the fourth picture doesn’t really work for me. It’s a picture of a row of dry trees by WanJing River. One end of the photo is very blurry as if there was a wall or a door blocking the view. It might be better if this ‘wall’ dominated the picture, or at least half of it, so that the whole image would give a confiscated feeling. Like you were trapped inside a room and were looking at the river through a small hole. But that’s me – you might have a different opinion on this particular photo. The exhibition is open until 21 August. If you have free time, I’d recommend you to come and have a look, especially if you love postmodern photography. Aldy Hendradjaja

Viewers, or rather participants, are first confronted by a large sign with the instruction ‘TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES’, evoking flashbacks of days and parties long past, before selecting a stripy-patterned jumpsuit from a range of colours. Then you enter The Cell. The interior of the 12.5m x 6m inflatable room is decorated with the same optical illusion patterns as the suits, worn by those inside it. You can run, jump, bounce, throw yourself against the walls and floor to your heart’s content. You have absolute freedom to do what you please. Inside this confined space. In the words of the artist “You are immediately transformed once you don a costume and enter The Cell.” So what are you? Are you an inmate? A cellular astronaut? An asylum seeker? Or a small child on a sugar-high? Brook Andrew draws on the motifs of his Wiradjuri heritage and merges it with contemporary elements to draw attention to, and comment on, issues of race, identity, history, detention and innocence. “The Cell is a conundrum, a monument to such stories, a space for quiet contemplation, disorientation and spectacle.” And all are welcome, so grab your little brother, grab your parents, grab you Nan, and get down there. This is the most fun you’ll have at an art gallery in a long time. But The Cell is only showing until August 21st, so hurry! PICA is open Tuesday – Sunday, 11am – 6pm. The Cell takes a break from 2pm – 3pm daily.

Sud Stories is about a woman who, after having a broken heart, took a bath to forget her problems. Well, it sounds trivial, doesn’t it? How can a play based on something like this be interesting? Yet that’s why I think this play is creative. The main character (Janette McGinty) is very energetic – extremely energetic, in fact, that you would question her sanity. Twice, the characters would go off-stage to prepare the next scene, while the audience would be entertained by short videos about bathrooms. What I really like is the use of a bathroom curtain for a projector medium. You know how bathroom curtains are never straight? Using this as a medium made these short videos like projected underwater. It’s really worth to watch it. But there are things that I don’t like from this play. For example, I don’t understand the reason for the first costume change. There’s always a reason behind something in arts – or, at least, ideally so – but I don’t know this one. The second change of costume (from a bath towel to a miniskirt dress) is more understandable – it might represent the change of mood of the broken-hearted woman: at first she was desperate, but now she’s ready to find a new man of her life. But again, speaking of her mood, although it was said she is broken-hearted at the opening, I can’t feel her sadness at all. Perhaps that’s because this play aims for humour, but that results in the lack of difference between the beginning and the end of the play, as if she gained nothing from her little bath. I’d really like to see how this play would be if the main character’s mood was switched at the beginning of the play.

Sven Ironside

Books

GSM interviews

Benjamin Law pt2.

Benjamin Law is as regular contributor to Frankie magazine and has also writen for The Drum, The Monthly and Crikey. Still in his twenties last year he released his memoirs The Family Law detailing his experiences growing up as the son of Chinese migrants on the Gold Coast. He spoke to Tom Reynolds and Jess Gibbs about his experiences.

GSM Within that representation and largely anglicised viewpoint

that’s put out through the media and pop culture in Australia, do you think perceptions about what it means to be Asian-Australian has changed, or even that there’s a curiosity about what that experience entails?

BL I think you might be onto something, at least in the world of

books. You see writers like Nam Lee doing extraordinary well and I know he’s primarily a fiction writer but a lot of his work speaks to the Asian Australian experience. Alice Pung is in high school curriculums all around the country. Tom Cho isvery very sharp. His work is out there a lot. These are writers of a certain generation. Someone said this recently, you get the first wave of migrants come over here and their whole task is to make a new life in a new country. And it’s usually the generation they bring up in this country who have the skills and the will to tell those stories. Like a few years ago, Alice Pung edited a book called Growing Up Asian in Australia that got quite a lot of interest and I was included in that anthology as well. Because the editors at Black Ink, the publishers who put out that book and my book now too, recognised ‘yeah there is that Asian Australian voice that hasn’t been tapped into as much,’ that it’s starting to come up more and more. And it’s always been there, even before a lot of other European migrants. You’ve got people like William Yang doing it in another medium like filmmaking, so it’s always been going on but I think you are probably starting to see more of it these days.

On one level I think we’ve all got our types, like, if you’ve got facial hair that probably really helps you in my book. Like we all have some sort of preference. My boyfriend’s favourite party icebreaker is “hey everyone, what race are you least attracted to?” And everyone is so appalled at that question. And every time he brings that up or every time I bring it up because I think it’s hilarious, thirty seconds and everyone calms down and then they start weighing in... everyone has a preference. Also, you don’t really see that Gay Asian Guy in gay culture. If you do, it’s sort of fetish-ised. It’s not in mainstream magazines. That’s why I’m not really a fan of a lot of the slick, gay, glossy publications out there. That slicked back aesthetic is fine, but to have it as your only one is so, so boring. If you want a really good, diverse gay media hub, go to Butt Magazine online. Every culture, every body shape. It’s great. And it’s not until you read magazines like that that you realise “oh my god, that guy’s actually hot the way you’ve presented him. I think it’s to do with how we’ve carved out that gay aesthetic which does exclude Asians, and it’s super boring.

GSM Ben, you wrote in your book about coming out to your mother,

sweating and crying on the couch, making her guess what was wrong. What prompted you to come out if you were that anxious about it? I knew I was leaving home really soon. I was seventeen, I’d finished high school and I’d had a really suffocating high school period in my home life. My parents had separated when I started high school. It was an incredibly tense household. I was like “Yes, I get to leave this place!” But I didn’t want to go to Brisbane having to hide anything. It represented this opportunity to meet new people and almost be someone different; I really had to come out or I felt I was going to go mentally insane. I thought it was really important so I had to hedge my bets like every young person does and decide that that was more important than whatever consequences might come out of my parents’ reaction. And as everyone knows, my parents were super excellent about it.

Even I would GSM The next questions I wanted to ask you about are where race and the scene have that in- intersect. I don’t know if you used Manternalised “no hunt but phrases along the lines of “I’m not asian” policy racist, but I’m not into Asians” just seem for a while. I ubiquitous on the site. I’ve had arguments with other young, white gay guys about as think what’s to whether or not this is an expression of changed for internalised racism or a deeply rooted forme is actually mative sexual preference. So I wondered if GSM Your book touched on a theme of loss and difficulty you had like to deconstruct that phrase and sustaining a relationship with your father, did you find your relationgoing to Asia. you’d ship changed after you wrote it? give us your own take? “I’m not into Asian guys?” It’s funny, even my three sisters, all of whom were straight – my poor straight brother, he has no one to talk to about women – my sisters and I will get together and talk about the guys we’re interested in. And growing up, I think most of us didn’t find Asian dudes attractive either. Even I would have that internalised “no asian” policy for a while. I think what’s changed for me is actually going to Asia. It’s something to do with visibility. Tony Ayres has a really good essay about this, how he grew up with not too many Asians around him and he didn’t see Asian dudes as attractive and he had to question himself about where that actually came from.

BL I’m not sure if our relationship changed but I think my under-

standing and perspective of it changed. I think Dads are really difficult in general sometimes. When people read that story a lot of them go “I find it really hard to buy gifts for my Dad as well” Or “My Dad works so hard, he doesn’t have any hobbies or interests either!” I think Dads of that generation, a lot of them just worked super super hard no matter what ethnic background they are. It took me a while...

Books When you’re a kid and you feel like he’s not giving you much time, or like he’s constantly absent you do start to resent it but when you get to a stage where you’re more adult and you look at your own life, and you imagine throwing kids into the equation as well, you look at what those pressures might be like. Or coming from a completely different culture or personal situif you met my mother in real life ation where you don’t even have a dad, like my dad, you build a it will not take different perspective on those long for the con- things. Certainly I feel like I get versation to veer to my dad a little bit more, our rea little bit warmer her vagina, or your lationship’s and a lot more affectionate. On a vagina, or a vagina basic level after I wrote all that I she’s recently seen. respect him more. What was it that made you decide to write your memoirs? I don’t think all that many people just wake up and go “alright, I’m gonna write a book today.”

GSM

BL Yeah, especially when you’re in your twenties as well and it’s

like, what have you actually got to write about? My friend Mikayla Maguire was writing her book, “Apply Within,” which is about all the terrible jobs she’s done in her life. As a twenty-something, she’s packed surprisingly heaps of horrible jobs in. We were comparing notes, writing our books around the same time and she said “who ever had the stupid idea of making twenty-something year olds write their memoirs?” You start feeling like you’ve run out of material. But, I eventually got a book out of it. You’re right as well – it’s not like I woke up one morning and thought, “I’d like to write my memoirs” but that anthology I was talking about with Tom before, “growing up asian in austalia,” had a callout for submissions. I’d already written a lot about my family by this stage for Frankie magazine, and they were calling out for submissions for “Growing Up Asian In Australia” and I thought, well if I can’t get into that anthology, I must be brain damaged. I also grew up Asian in Australia and I am a writer, so hopefully I can submit something. So I submitted a few expanded stories and the publishers really liked it. They asked if I had a book idea based on those submissions and I was like, “you know what? I reckon I could write a book about that.” There was a very awkward moment because my family – the one thing we’re good at is rating each other’s wins. So I said “hey guys guess what, I’ve got a book deal!” and they went “that’s fantastic!” and that of course was followed up with “aaaaand it’s all about you guys.” So there was lots of dark laughter from that point onwards.

GSM

What was it like revisiting your childhood?

BL Look, I started writing this book in my mid-twenties. So it was

close to a decade after a lot of this stuff had happened; the book really is about my childhood and my teen years as well. I think I really needed that distance – if I wrote it any closer to the time it happened it would have been a much grimmer book, but I wanted to make sure it was funny, a bit wrong humour wise. All the stuff that happened with my family – a cockroach infestation in the kitchen, my pet mouse dying, having to “black up” for a school play, my parents arguing – all of that is horrific, but you give it some time and distance and suddenly it’s comedy gold.

There are some mixed reviews on content in the book, particularly all the pages dedicated to your mother’s vagina.

GSM

BL Look, if you met my mother in real life it will not take long for

the conversation to veer to her vagina, or your vagina, or a vagina she’s recently seen. She’s not unlike that person. I think that’s why a lot of people, especially women, love my mother when they meet her – she’s completely frank and especially after you’ve had five children, there’s nothing left that’s quite mysterious about your body. You’ve pushed your body to the absolute limit and you’re gonna talk about it! Screw you if you have any reservations. So she’d have these conversations with friends or friends’ mothers when we were growing up and we’re just like “oh my god, she’s such a crazy chinese lady right now,” but then afterward you realise no, she’s actually quite funny. It’s the same thing – step away for a minute and it’s quite brilliant, what comes out of her mouth, and quite brave as well. I definitely wanted that in the book.

GSM you?

So you find writing something that comes very naturally to

BL No, it’s hard. There’s a quote by a writer called David Rakoff

and he said “Writing is like pulling teeth. From my dick.” It is hard and when people say “your stuff’s so easy to read” that’s probably one of the best compliments you can pay a writer because it’s really hard to write stuff that seems breezy. I’ll sweat over an article for Frankie quite a lot before it gets to the stage it gets. But then, in another way it comes easy to me because I’m always reading. So I process the world in that way and it makes sense to me. Words by Tom Reynolds & Jess Gibbs Photo provided by Ben Law

Books

Searching for women who drink whisky Author: Miranda Kennedy

Searching for women who drink whisky by Miranda Kennedy is certainly an intriguing and mind opening book. Miranda takes us on her journey to discover the delights and horrors of India. She gives us an insight into a world I would never have known nor understood. The book focuses on the idea of marriage and the difference of love and sexuality in India compared to the Western world. Miranda tries to explain to her western readers the idea that an arranged marriage is ideal in India, and not the horror like we would believe it to be in our Western societies. Miranda lives in a world of gorgeous spices, horrible slums, amazing food, crawling bugs and geckos, strong willed servants, interesting company and the ever judging neighbors. She survives through sheer will to fit in. The book tries to give an honest look into the life of Indians, showing both the good and bad. I have to give it up to Miranda for managing to live in an apartment that has bugs and lizards crawling around, using toilets that aren’t ‘westernized’, without seeming TOO phased. This book is certainly a worthwhile read, even though it has a skewed sense of time and sometimes jumps from one event to another, almost at random. Sometimes you may have to re-read a paragraph to make sure that you are in the right spot, but this is still worth reading.

The UFO Diaries Author: Martin Plowman 4.5 / 5

2.5 / 5

3/5

The First Time Author: Kate Monro

Jasmiine Reilly

In a nutshell, Kate Monro interviews strangers about their virginity. A fairly brilliant concept - because while we may hear the barest details of our friends’ stories, the where, when and who (and the how was it,) Monro has drawn more than that from her brave subjects. They tell her how they felt after, why they did it and why they did it with him or her. And it’s interesting. To compare this collection with our own memories, with women growing up in the 1920s who (I kid you not) had no idea what a man’s body looked like until their wedding night, and teenage boys losing it to sex workers and modern-day Christians waiting for marriage and battling the stigma attached to virginity. Unfortunately, Monro’s style annoys the shit out of me. Between the hilariously awkward, and often touching, transcribed interviews lay her own commentaries. Monro relentlessly extracts meaning where there is none, and makes sweeping generalisations about something quite specific. At the beginning of a chapter about male virginity loss, she solemnly explains to her reader that men are not equipped to deal with the changing role of women in society, that they are becoming afraid of being made redundant in a world where their female counterparts are more than capable of both supporting and pleasuring themselves. Likewise, she harps on repeatedly about the term ‘virginity loss,’ questioning whether or not we perhaps gain something from the experience instead. She is irritatingly presumptuous and self-righteous. Despite this, The First Time is an interesting read - but if our author grates on you like she does me you’d be best off skipping straight to the bits in italics. Jess Gibbs

If you read this book expecting to get an answer about whether or not UFOs exist, then I am afraid you are going to be disappointed. It is called the UFO diaries and that is exactly what it is: a diary full of the author’s own experiences of exploring his fascination with UFOs which he conveys quite well throughout the whole book. An enlightening feature of this book is its attempt to give a rational and objective perspective on the matter, coupled with a reasonable amount of questioning rather than trying to prove a point. The way this book ends was surprising, but it seems appropriate because from the very beginning, the writer has set our expectations. It is one of the most honest books I have read in a long time and the author is not afraid to state his opinion as crazy as it might sound. The style of writing is delightful; punctuated with humour, funny stereotypes and creative puns; it definitely is a joyride. Most importantly, an open mind is important when reading this book to enjoy the full impact of whatever the author shares with us: travel episodes, little anecdotes, some surprising incidents, and an ocean of general knowledge as he attempts to strike a balance on the issue of the authenticity of UFO theories. Overall, this book turned out to be a very enjoyable journey. Divya Jankee

Books

The Year of the Unexpected Author: Erica Bauermeister 4/5 I didn’t really know what to expect out of this book though the synopsis was clear: seven women who will have to carry out a challenge each, issued by their friend Kate, who just recovered from breast cancer. If they are successful, then Kate has to carry out a challenge as well, something set up by her daughter but about which she has mixed feelings. The challenges vary from something as simplistic as cleaning your garden or getting rid of books to going rafting in the Grand Canyon. Yet, each of these challenges empowers each and every one of the protagonists of this book. The book jumps right into the plot from the very beginning and the style of writing is clear. The words flow, which make it easy to read. The one on one approach of each chapter being dedicated to one woman and one challenge works in the favour of this book. It is highly unlikely to get stories mixed up. We are taken into the intimacy of the lives and consciousness of these women and the book teaches us that sometimes, the smallest things we cling on to can be disastrous for our own self growth whereas facing them brings us newfound joy and happiness. At the end of the day, this book teaches you how facing your fears will change your lives for the better. It is you who makes the call. Divya Jankee

BROTHERS Author: Antonio Buti

My Dog Gave Me The Clap Author: Adam Morris

4/5

3/5

Extraordinary stories are often about fairly normal people trapped in horribly complicated situations.

This book is a bleak existential novella told from the perspective of the borderlinealcoholic protagonist Saul. It’s the first book published by West Australian author Adam Morris, and can be read as the semiautographical story of the musician-cumauthor. At 30 Saul is drifting through life: detached, despising and drunk. Despite his acute neuroticism and general malaise Saul is a very likeable character. His observations touch (if not throughout the entire novel then at least most parts) on the common anxieties and confusions about life confronting the first cohort of Gen Y.

Often fairly normal families get seriously caught up in modernity’s bedevilments. The Mickelberg family might be qualified as an extreme case of such a fairly normal WA family, proudly Australian, close-knit and stoic. However, some family members were somewhat relaxed about the income-tax side of bureaucracy (and, also very, very creative) with the result that the Mickelberg family encountered personal disaster on a grand scale and over decades. The Mickelberg story is a recent, modern WA legend. Dr Buti provides readers with a warm and humane interpretation of the lengthy, cold, court proceedings that twist and turn all the way through this fascinating saga. In chilling counterpoint Dr Buti calmly details the corrupt police actions that also wind throughout this story. These are actions deliberately constructed by senior WA law enforcement officers, to ‘stitch’ up the three Mickelberg brothers. To cause them to be convicted of a major robbery they did not commit. Like all great, readable stories this one has a moral, and one very much of this time. Dr Buti gently leads - but also pushes - all readers to consider whether the end, no matter how valid that may be, is ever justified by questionable and immoral means. Susanne Harford

The story is a little like Seinfeld. Not much actually happens, and yet somehow, despite the absurdity, bitterness and selflove of the central character, you grow to like him and share in his observations of the otherwise mundane. The story is bleak in the sense that there is no escape, no release; just the slow spiralling of a lonely man being entombed by the collapse of his dreams. There are hints and glimpses of Perth in the storyline but there’s no Winton-style verbosity to these rough outlines and utilitarian descriptions. The story is not depressing, and shrugs off the burden of sentimentality with a sense of benign detachment. Published by Fremantle Press this was my first encounter with locally written and set literature and to be honest it was far better than I’d anticipated. Short, well written, easy to pace through and not overwhelmingly depressing this was a nicely melancholic read for the afternoon. Tom Reynolds

Books

Haunted Heart Author: Tania Donald

Black Jesus Author: Simone Felice

3/5

2/5

3.5 / 5

Haunted Heart by Tania Donald was not what I expected. I was expecting a book similar to Murder at Mansfield Park but got, instead, a supernatural book full of sexual encounters.

Black Jesus is a nickname for a blind war veteran who tried to live a normal life, despite his haunting experience in the war. A drama novel with a bit of romance, this book gives us an insight on humanity: how we question the meaning of life, guilt, conscience and sanity as a human being.

The attempt here was to mix a couple of elements in order to make an appealing novel; an attempt that is successful to a certain extent. The simple, clear and concise writing style makes reading very easy and the descriptions of atmosphere, and especially food, in this book are delightful.

I would suggest the book to those who are interested in supernatural stories. It is a fresh idea, which leaves you wondering what the characters are. The main character starts off as a young, simple girl called Eloise. She’s a girl who is full of emotions and guided by her heart. When we first meet her, she is believable and relatable, but as the book goes on it is harder relate to her. The book seemed to be guided by the sexual encounters, which all seemed to take place in the dream world. The author seemed to love writing these scenes, and managed to do it without saying any crude words such as fuck, dick, pussy etc. I found, however, that they began to get a little bit tedious, and I do not believe that they enhanced the story. The author does manage to hook the reader, giving the need to finish the book. Although I felt the need to read it, I didn’t feel satisfied by the book. As the book goes on, you begin to wonder whether you are supporting the right people. The book ends with anticipation for something to come, yet doesn’t suggest a sequel, leaving more questions than the book answered. Jasmine Reilly

A Taste of It Author: Monica McInerney

Honestly, I won’t recommend this as a grammar guidebook. It contains a lot of incomplete sentences and misplaced fullstops that I’m sure you’ll notice instantly. Nevertheless, Simone Felice somehow makes these errors work together to create a dark, desperate and harsh atmosphere, which communicates the message of the book very clearly. The book shows us a daily life, and do we use perfect grammar in a daily life? Fuck grammar. Too bad, though. The opening is excellent, but the story falls short after Black Jesus met Gloria, an ex-stripper who was escaping her mad boyfriend. The characterisations aren’t very believable and readers are left guessing why, how and when Gloria fell in love with Black Jesus. Also, there are some chapters that introduce us to Gloria’s exboyfriend, which I can’t even understand why the author put it there. It doesn’t give any impact to Black Jesus’s story, as if they are two separate stories forced to be published together in one book. Ignoring its problems, though, this book really contains a strong image of our life. What’s the meaning of life? Why do we exist? Simone Felice doesn’t provide us the answer for those questions; he let us find our own by examining Black Jesus’ life. Aldy Hendradjaja

The protagonist is a talented chef who has to go to Ireland to market her brother’s range of wines and food. This trip will prove to be life changing for her as there are many things that she discovers, which includes a guy, of course. The love story between them has a Mills and Boons-like component, so we know that it is going to have a happy ending. The annoying thing is that there is a series of mishaps every time you think everything is going well. The unexpected unfortunate events that happen time and time again are not all essential to the plot. In addition, the story is needlessly overstretched at some points. Moreover, the amazing ability of the protagonist to jump to conclusions and misjudge people without hearing their side of a story is very unnerving and does not work in her favour. Nevertheless, I guess we can all learn a lesson here and realise that human beings are vulnerable and afraid of being hurt, but it might be worth it to give life a chance to happen sometimes. Overall, a decent reading experience for people who are into romance novels. Divya Jankee

Games

Heavy Rain Developer: Quantic Dream 4.5 / 5 A divorced architect, an insomniac journalist, a drug-addict FBI agent, and a private investigator: What do these four people (who have never met each other) have in common? Putting aside their inner demons, they have nothing in common at all; or at least that is what the game developer, Quantic Dream wants us to believe when we start to take the identities of those characters. Enter the immersive world of Heavy Rain, where every decision that you make will play a crucial role in determining the outcome of the story. Quantic Dream has managed to push the realism to a whole new level; something which I have not seen for nearly a decade since Yu Suzuki’s masterpiece, Shenmue. It is not just about the graphic, the ability to manipulate ingame objects, and simulated reality. In Heavy Rain, when your character dies, the story does not stop there. Depending on how and when your character dies, it might affect the storyline that revolves around the remaining characters. Without spoiling the plot, let me say this: it is even possible for the main antagonist to get away with whatever he had done or even suffer the consequences. Another thing which is unique to Heavy Rain is its ability to truly evoke deep emotions such as sadness and hopelessness which are associated with its bleak world; a world where rain does not seem to stop. You will definitely spend a lot of time without clock once you pick up your PS3 controller. Trust me. Prayitno Wignjopranoto

Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars Developer: Ubisoft 4/5 Shooting commies, blowing up vehicles, bringing down an evil dictator; yes, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon has hit the 3DS. Released at the launch, some have hailed this as the hidden gem of the launch lineup. But what does it really have to offer? If you’re hoping for a first-person shooter you’re out of luck. This edition of Ghost Recon is a turn-based-strategy game. Your Ghosts are like the pawns, and the terrain is like the game board (grid included). It sounds like it wouldn’t work, but it does. You’re given control of six ghosts. All ghosts differ from one another; different abilities, different strengths and weaknesses, and some are better suited to teaming with some Ghosts then others. Stereotypes are what we’re given, but what’s wrong with that? You’ve got the motherly medic, big-gun black-man, straight-edge team-leader, the token Asian takes the role of the sniper, and the technician and recon guys tag along too. What really makes the game shine is the depth. Different strengths and weaknesses are accompanied by special powers (such as calling in an air strike or re-activating a ghost to have two turns in one round), environmental context (cover, terrain height, bushes, weather), and some really well planned levels. The result is a game that offers great depth, with a consistent increase in difficulty, and an experience that can be different with every playthrough. Flaws are present, though; there’s no voice-acting, there’s few animated scenes, and not having wireless multiplayer is baffling. In the end, though, this is a charming, addictive, and really deep little title on the 3DS.

Mortal Kombat Trilogy Developer: Midway 4/5 Mortal Kombat Trilogy supports one to two players and is played on the play station one. This game was one of the best fighting games of its time and it is still raved about today. There are many new versions out, all with better graphics, but who can forget the original? There are three options of game play that can all involve a second player. There is the two on two option where two players pick two characters to fight with, the 8 player tournament which is exactly as it sounds, and the ever challenging Mortal Kombat which has four levels of difficulty, each with more foes to defeat than the last, to become the Ultimate Mortal Kombat Khampion. There are 32 characters to choose from, each with their own back story and special moves. Using each character was a different experience, whether you were a button masher or a special move hound. All the characters have the chance for an epic finish at the end of a battle which usually results in the beaten enemy being non gruesomely exploded across the screen. There are other methods of KO explosions if you can find the right button combination. This game may look terrible next to its newer siblings but it still maintains the same awesomeness about it that was apparent in the mid 90’s. Most gamers will still eagerly play it if given the opportunity. Mortal Kombat is going to be around for a long time. It is one of those classics that won’t go away. Alysha Edwards.

Larry Fife

Film

I Love You, Philip Morris Director: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa Starring: Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Director: Michael Bay Actors: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie HuntingtonWhiteley, and Tyrese

3.5 / 5

2.5 / 5

5/5

This movie contains classic Jim Carrey moments- weird, funny expressions and entertaining situations accompanied by some very funny by-lines. Nevertheless, a couple of unexpected twists and turns make the movie quite entertaining.

Captain America is the story of Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), an effete twink whose jock best friend Bucky Barnes is off to war. Desperate to join Steve is enlisted with the help of the bearish Dr. Erskine who pumps his body with amphe… ‘growth serum’ inside a high-tech tanning bed. Rippling with muscles Steve is then assigned to perform, of course, in musical theatre. Attempting to save Bucky from a Nazi-skeletor with a leather fetish Steve goes on to battle this AIDS-era proxy before the story loops back to the present.

Transformers has somehow managed to get itself into a niche in the comic/superhero section of our video store; large scale, a lead female with overtly long legs, and a quirky sense of humour.

The performance of the actors is good in regard to the plot of the movie. Steven, played by Jim Carrey, recalls his life episodes on his death bed. He had a wife and daughter and was a well-respected cop of Virginia Beach, but also had a dark secret; he was gay. As you would imagine, he pulled it off quite well. He left his family to settle with a guy for whom he became a con man in order to maintain a high class lifestyle. One day, he got caught and, in jail, met Philip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor. They inevitably fell in love with each other. The sweet and funny moments between both of them are very touching and it is enlightening to see a movie that treats homosexuality in such a humane way. The romance between the protagonists is what predominates the movie. Jim Carrey has given a good performance. However, watching him carry out con after con, each more ridiculous than its former, with an end result that leads him to nowhere is very frustrating. A movie that shows to what extent somebody can go for love but also questions: is that really what matters? The movie doesn’t give us an answer, but if you do have some spare time and are looking for a laugh, this movie is for you. Divya Jankee

Captain America Director: Joe Johnston Starring: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving

This is isn’t a terrible or a fantastic film. My biggest criticism is it runs about 30 minutes too long, by the end I was beginning to wonder if we’d have to endure the rest of the war in real time. Disappointingly the 3D this was really only used effectively in the credits. The film is a very efficient translation of the comic book genre and works hard at maintaining the suspension of the sense of disbelief that makes these films viable. Overall this is a light, easygoing and approachable adaptation. Never having encountered Captain America before I had no issues engaging with the characters and the plotline. I can’t recommend it as an exceptionally exciting story, and whilst it performs slightly above average, it’s still very much just another wave rolling across the sea of comic-book adaptations that have flooded cinemas. See it if you having nothing better to do on a Tuesday night and don’t mind paying through the nose for 3D credits. Tom Reynolds

The first was good, the second was bigger and better, so what has the third produced? Well, it’s just massively epic. More than the past films, and more then what you will have imagined possible. A friend explained that “you think it’s really happening in the real world”. Bullshit I thought, but now I can’t explain it any better myself. Long legs (this time in the form of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) are still present, and the humour is there (all-be-it scaled down), but it’s really all about being more epic; from Chernobyl in Russia, to the George Washington monument in the USA, and to the very Moon itself. The world and more is this movie’s play thing. In the cinema with the action blasting through the speakers, the 3D glasses on your noggin, this really is quite an experience. The storyline is a maze of alternative history interplayed with current times. It’s alright for what it is, but where it really pays off is in revealing the past of the little robots that we call Transformers and Decepticons. About time! This movie won’t make you think, it won’t make you cuddle up to your loved one, but it’s a bloody good little ride. A movie is never to everyone’s taste, but if action and ‘bang bang’ tickles your fancy you’re in for a blast. Larry Fife

Film

Hanna Director: Joe Wright Staring: Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett, Saoirse Ronan 5/5 Dropping you into the middle of events Hanna marches forward from the forests of Finland to the Moroccan desert before climaxing in the surreal setting of a Berlin themepark. Starring Cate Blanchett (Marissa Wiegler), Eric Banna (Erik Heller) and Saoirse Ronan (Hanna Heller) this movie makes excellent use of a narrow cast. The stand out scene of the movie is Hanna’s adrenaline-pumping escape from an underground CIA bunker (set to an original score by The Chemical Brothers). Charged to the perfect soundtrack it thumps and pumps with light and action, a testament to the skill of director Joe Wright. Although some of the best visual elements occur early in the film the conclusion in Berlin is tight and well executed. The story unfolds between juxtaposing scenes of choreographed violence and softhearted tenderness. Hanna is, after all, a sweet, isolated and fragile young girl - and in the aftershocks of her hyper-violence there is a surprising depth and gentleness to her character. Raised and trained to kill for her own survival by her father, Hanna plays a tense game of cat mouse against Cate Blanchet and her spine-tinglinglu evil mercenary Isaacs (Tom Hollander). At times the violence edged towards the cartoonish and I was confused as to what degree I was expected to suspend my disbelief given the sombre seriousness with which the story begins, and generally maintains. At the beginning of the film the plot was frustratingly obscure, but it’s worth paying attention and sticking with the movie, as the mystery and the connection between characters is eventually explained. Overall an enjoyable and highly watchable movie. Tom Reynolds

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Director: David Yates Actors: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint 3/5 It seems like only a few years ago that the Harry Potter craze started to cross the world; first a book series, and then movie adaption followed. The books may have ended, but with the movies still being pumped out the Harry Potter rule still continued. Until now. The franchise which entertained a world and got us reading again has just come to an end. The real question is: does the last movie do the entire series justice? Sort of. I didn’t actually read the last book, so I was actually pretty excited with how the story developed. The special effects and sound were good, we knew they would be. Most importantly, for me, all of the characters are treated with respect and feel like they’re finally fully developed persons. Some die, relationships are developed, some step up and some fall down. It’s good. There are two things that watered it down for me, though; splitting the last book into the films the way they did, and the way the film ended. Split the book, sure, it’s big. But part one just didn’t have enough in it relative the part two, though. The big disappointment for me was the ending; I hated it. The ending should have left me feeling blown away, but instead the last scene of the entire series was corny and out of place. It was good; we always knew it would be. A misplaced ending and splitting the last book in the wrong place, though, left me feeling like it could have been done better. Shame. Larry Fife

The Guard Director: John McDonagh Starring: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle, Liam Cunningham 4.5 / 5 The overweight, middle-aged Boyle is the local constabulary in a bleak Irish backwater. Following the trail of an international cocaine shipment FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) is forced to work with Boyle: “I can’t tell if you’re really fucking stupid, or really fucking smart”. Along the way there is a mysterious murder, a missing policeman, blackmailed prostitutes, and a suicide before the inevitable and climatic shoot out. This is a delightful film. Framed within the conventions of the western The Guard tells the tale of anti-hero protagonist Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) and his quest against a trio of erudite drug traffickers. The black humour that sustains the story is delivered with Irish par excellence, both in its pitchblackness and flawlessly understated delivery. Don Cheadle is a delight as the straight-laced FBI agent. Despite the bleakness of the landscape, the casual violence and prolific whoring and drug consumption implied (and shown) through the film) this is essentially a morality tail masquerading as something a little more edgy and amoral. However, this doesn’t detract from the film as its strengths are in the disarming charm of Boyle and film’s humourous narrative. There is the usual bevy of quirky minor characters and there’s a gentle warmth to the sub-plot between Boyle and his mother which serve to ground the character’s morality amidst the drug use, whoring and violence. The cinematography is excellent but character development was limited outside of Gleeson and Cheadle was limited. Overall this was an excellent film, both for the genre and the black humour. Tom Reynolds

Music

Austin City Limits

“Austin

is the heart of Texas - one of the cool places.” I’m speaking to Tara Daniel, a vibrant music manager whom met in America earlier this year, about the dynamism behind the Austin Collective (www.austincollective.com). It’s an organization that “hosts parties and events in spaces where music enthusiasts can coexist and co-create”. Tara is really interested in hearing from WA bands that want to try their hand in Austin. After graduating with a BA, Tara had an “epiphany” while attending the Bonnaroo music festival in Tennessee. “I knew that I wanted to be part of the music scene and use my skills to help give artists a deserving chance to get their music out there.” If Perth and Austin were speed dating, there’s a good chance they’d call each other up for a second date. They’re both cities around the same age and the major centres of massive states. They have around the same population size and economies that are the powerhouses of their respective nations. What might be missed in vital stats is the effect their music scenes have had. Both cities punch above their weight when it comes to producing quality home-grown music. I met Tara just prior to Christmas at Bar 96, part of an old residential neighbourhood that has been rejuvenated into entertainment precincts. To give you a context: imagine a Perth suburb where all the houses are bars along the lines of The Bird or Ezra Pound. That describes this area of Austin. Tara explains: “These were dilapidated houses, needing love. The city ordinance saw that they could be businesses. One woman bought three or four properties to turn into live music bars. Now many houses are becoming bars - the idea is to take the houses, keep them raw and turn them into something new.”

Tara Daniel

Tara Daniel points to the power of music in Austin’s economy: “The city was marketed as the live music capital of world,” she says, in her easy-going Texan drawl. “And we’ve been blessed with festivals like South by South West. With social networking, ands are coming from all over the world, and not just bands but people who just want to be creative.”

Tara identifies tech savvy entrepreneurship as giving more control of the music industry to the younger population. “It’s widely controlled by college students, the 20s and 30s, who have a lot of say over community and cultural efforts. As an example, a group recently took storage containers, had them soldered and it’s now a bar called ‘The Container.” “Party at the Moon Kellar” – featured in Dazed and Confused – are also a major feature on the scene. “They’re owned by the city, but leased to put on shows, with BYO and food trailers allowing musicians and fans alike to ‘eat really good food, talk about music and why you are here in Austin’.” The city has kept things local, supporting major attractions like Austin City Limits – Live at the Moody Theater, now in its 37th year. Tara also works here as a production assistant, rubbing shoulders with the movers and shakers who are defining the sound of America. Tara recognises that this ability to diversify between jobs in the industry is common and allows a level of free enterprise that Perth could do with more of. One of the problems we have in WA is that there is no shortage of talent, but we often lose the good producers to the East due to a glass ceiling of opportunity. Recognising its unique cultural space early, Austin adopted the motto ‘Keep Austin Weird’ as a reminder of the dangers of overcommercialisation. Compare that with Perth’s reputation as the hub of live music, captured oh-so-well in the seminal feature doco “Something in the Water”, and the gradual suffocation of its live venues by over-development. It’s timely that we begin to examine how Austin sustains and benefits from live music. What would you say to a WA band thinking of heading your way? “I’d love for any bands to get in touch on the website that might be planning to tour and schedule a stop in Austin.” Austin is similar to Perth in that it has that small town feel – “I love that about Austin; it definitely feels like a small town, and everyone is so friendly.” Tara is, without doubt, an ambassador for that amiability. “Y’all have the right vibe and I love that everyone is coming together.”

Words & photo by Michael McCall

Music

The Bible Bashers The Bible Bashers

Danni Stefanetti The Moon Looks Pretty Tonight

3/5

2.5 / 5

Upon first impression, the Bible Bashers held a sort of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds sound; I couldn’t help but hear that post-gothic sound in their first track Jesus Motherfuckin’ H Christ. However, upon delving deeper into the EP, the sound developed into a far more pronounced southern blues; this helped to give it that dirty distorted sound I was looking for. By no means do I think that this EP is for everybody, only those that dig that raw and bluesy pub sound. On that note, I think they have a great ‘pub’ atmosphere sound and I’d be quite happy to listen to them over a pint or two. With seven tracks, the EP isn’t exactly a long one, but it certainly isn’t short and by no means is it boring. Out of the seven tracks, I’d definitely say that the first track, Jesus Motherfuckin’ H Christ, takes my fancy the most; despite it not having the raw bluesie-ness that the rest of the EP does, it does possess a great bass line and a great progression throughout. Lyrically, the EP has the potential to offend a select few, but as I said before they emulate a ‘pub’ sound, so I don’t think that same select few would be listening to them in the first place. If a raw and dirty sound turns you on musically, give these guys a spin. Chris Sujkowski

Deathgrenade, The Craw, Projekbabi and Krassekepala Noisy Goreng 3/5

In an interview somewhere – possibly Couch TV – Danni Stefanetti said the clip for her single The Moon Looks Pretty Tonight was filmed in the Swan Valley, and that in an extraordinary coincidence, they discovered there was a full moon that very night. That just about sums up Danni Stefanetti. I’m not the smartest guy in the room, but I’m pretty sure the moon sticks to a schedule. Gravitational pull of the Earth, etc etc. You get the drift. It’s this manufactured sense of wonder at something perfectly predictable that shits me. Makes for a great yarn, but it’s utter bollocks. It sums up her music as well. The moon looks pretty tonight is a perfectly played example of alleged ‘folk/ rock/pop’ music that simultaneously lives up to the most bland, middle of the road images those words conjure in your mind. There’s nothing to it, both literally and figuratively. It’s the Casper The Friendly Ghost of music for Scarborough based cunts that can’t believe someone so beige doesn’t have a record contract. She’s actively shopping for one as well, which will hopefully prove you never get exactly what you’re looking for. Or anything remotely close. She’s more talented than Vee, but fuck me, who isn’t? Oh, and the video? The Swan Valley is nice to look at, so is Dani when she doesn’t look 42 (which is never), or when she’s not being molested buy a guy that looks like he’s 12. So, perfect? Liam Ducey

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready, because you’ll be on edge well after listening to this! And I’m not sure if I hate it or love it. Representing Indonesian, Malaysian and Singaporian punk, Deathgrenade, The Craw, Projekbabi and Krassekepala have made an extremely fast paced album with 21 highly political and very short songs. Heavy riffs, high octane drums and all out screaming is a quick summary of what almost the whole album sounds like. And monotonous. Very monotonous! I don’t think punk is the appropriate music genre. I would say it’s more on the lines of Satyricon and Green Day on speed with distorted speakers and no sleep for the last two weeks. The upside is the lyrics, which fits perfectly in the punk genre and a lot of it is very good. Broke and battered. Ripped off shattered. Do what they want! Do what they please. Corporate greed! Killing spree. The only problem is that you won’t understand it when you listen. You have read it on a piece of paper. Punk is about young people who’re fed up with the way things are done in government (usually) and to get that message out, people have to understand what you’re singing. The weak points, though, is also the strong points. Because if you listen to the music and read the lyrics, you might end up with the same feeling as me. Not sure if you love it or hate it, but you’re damned sure you will remember it. Bjorn Myran

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