Bringing hope, peace and unity to the good brethren of business supplies

We’ve been advertising for a couple of positions within the company recently, mainly due to some folk retiring, but also because old George decided he wants to work from home, and we found this impossible to accommodate. He is in charge of the warehouse and doesn’t know how to use a computer, so what would he do in the house? It’s a pity in a way because George has been with us since the early thirties and was present when we took delivery of the first electronic calculator, the first fax machine and the first electronic typewriter. The problem is that George was still using these up to the start of the lockdown, when he was forced to stay full-time in the home.

Now, though, it’s time to modernise the warehouse, so we’ve advertised for a dynamic person who can use computer software and is able to lift things. The candidates have been very good so far and our interview process has been polished over the years to find the right person for us. We ask them all sorts of pertinent questions, like how much experience they have had with software and logistics as well as the most important question of all, ‘Can you lift things?’

Some of them start the interview by stating that they won’t be carrying boxes of paper up any stairs, which kind of makes that question redundant, but we usually keep going to see if they are the type who can be organised and manage the warehouse staff properly.

To be honest, they don’t need a lot of managerial experience as there is only one other person in there - making the tea and sweeping up. Most of the product is couriered nowadays, so we don’t have a clue when it will arrive, or even if it’s the right order, and the warehouse these days is used mainly for furniture and storing products which we have bulk bought over the years for our unsuccessful promotions.

We don’t want to do away with it altogether though – it’s important to have a wander around and marvel at how things used to be when the drivers used to come in and load their lorries full of the early mornings supplies, lots of hustle and bustle and the noise of the old dot matrix printer churning out the day’s orders...

It might not have been modern, or up-to-date, but the customer stood a fair chance of getting their order which is now a distant memory for most of them – and for us.