ROCKS March 2015 by Edge In-flight Magazines

E TAKE M!

H O ME

ADVENTURE TRAVEL • EVENTS • PEOPLE • ENTERTAINMENT • SPORTS

ISSUE 17 MARCH 2015

HOBBIT HOLIDAY

AUTUMN IN QUEENSTOWN

MILD HOGS

GET YOUR HELLS ANGELS ON

‘MY HURT BRAINS’

2015 NRL PREVIEW

THOR HEADED

CHRIS HEMSWORTH ENTERS GOD MODE

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Welcome to ROCKS, the inflight magazine for Alliance Airlines Welcome aboard. We hope youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re enjoying your flight, either switching off from a busy time at work or getting yourself ready for your next stint at the mine. This magazine is created to entertain you, so sit back and enjoy the ride. This month packs a punch with cover star Chris Hemsworth at the helm talking about his latest movie Avengers: Age of Ultron and Richard Hammond revealing his zombie spider hell. Rugby league season is also coming up, so we've included our special NRL preview for this year. Travel-wise, I spent 48 hours in Queenstown road testing some of the region's best adventures to share, while Deborah Dickson took a seven-day 1069-kilometre trip around country NSW on the back of a Harley. We hope you enjoy this issue of ROCKS. Do drop us a line â&#x20AC;&#x201C; we love hearing from you! inflight@edgecustom.com.au

Scott McMillan Managing Director

Faye James and the team at ROCKS and Alliance

Queenstown, New Zealand.

GROUP EDITOR Faye James DEPUTY EDITORS Ben Smithurst, Simone Henderson-Smart ASSISTANT EDITOR Riley Palmer SENIOR DESIGNER Guy Pendlebury DESIGNER Steve Wright SUB-EDITOR Helen Eva

CONTRIBUTORS Deborah Dickson, Brian Johnston, Stephen Corby, Aaron Smith ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES Scott Hunt 02 8962 2600 scott.hunt@edgecustom.com.au

WA AND NT SALES AGENT Helen Glasson Hogan Media: 08 9381 3991 E: helen@hoganmedia.com.au PUBLISHER Geoff Campbell PRINTER SOS Print & Media

ROCKS is published by Edge 51 Whistler Street, Manly NSW 2095 Phone: 02 8962 2600 edgecustom.com.au ROCKS is published by Business Essentials (Australasia) Pty Limited (ABN 22 062 493 869), trading as Edge. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission is strictly prohibited. Opinions expressed are those of the individual contributors and not necessarily those of the Publisher. Information provided was believed to be correct at the time of publication. All reasonable efforts have been made to contact copyright holders. ROCKS cannot accept unsolicited manuscripts or photographs. If such items are sent to the magazine, they will not be returned. A selection of images used in this publication has been sourced from Thinkstock, Getty Images and Corbis.

March/April 2015

FIFO Miners & Oil & Gas employees only earning $110 — $300K.

Slash your tax — why pay more? Last few months with certainty to buy Property in your SMSF. “Super funds should be banned from borrowing”... ....ABC’s Michael Yanda 7th Dec 2014. ABC’s Editor 7.30 Report, Alan Kohler & Robert Gottliebsen co-founders Eureka Report, the two most respected names in financial reporting & Bruce Brammall from the Eureka Report agree on these three points.

1.The Murray Report to the government recommended a Banning of Super Funds to borrow. Dec 2014 2.It is unlikely that any changes would be retrospective, however rather be grandfathered, meaning if you have purchased your property prior to government legislation, then you retain your property within your SMSF with tax benefits.

3.Future arrangements of borrowing in a SMSF could be Banned altogether if the government adopts the Murray Report recommendations. For full report subscribe to: Eureka Report online, Australia’s highest standard financial editing & reporting. If the government does nothing then you have lost nothing only gained a property. If they adopt the Murray Recommendations then you have lost a massive opportunity to Save Tens of thousands in Tax. Few structures are as Tax effective as SMSF combined with Property. Do not ignore these statements. It takes eight weeks to set up your new SMSF.

Lost $ benefits of not proceeding, for a property worth $350K in your new SMSF? Lost Lost Lost Lost

Tax Deductions, $36K pa, times ten years holding property. potential Capital Growth, very hard to quantify, perhaps 5% for 10 yrs. income, that would assist pay off your property, 5% gross rental income. Tax Benefit in you pocket, based on income, $160K

$360K. $220K. $180K. $70K.

Save $3,000 to $15,000 ongoing each year by Taxation Planning or do nothing & keep paying below. Taxable Income 160K 200K 240K

Tax Payable 47,147 61,947 79,947

Medicare 2,400 3,000 3,600

Total 49,547 64,947 83,547

10 years Tax Payable 495,470 649,470 835,470

How much is needed in Super to begin a SMSF & buy a property, how much is in my super fund now & what do I need to know? Many Taxpayers have commenced their own SMSF with $80,000 or even less. A ten page Taxation Property Analysis, will be prepared, showing you deposit needed for your new property paid out of your SMSF, cost price, purchase costs, loan costs, rental income, all rental expenses, insurance, shire rates, strata levies, net return, depreciation of building & depreciation of fittings. .

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DARWIN

GROOTE EYLANDT

LAWN HILL

CAIRNS TOWNSVILLE

THE GRANITES

TREPELL PHOSPHATE HILL

KARRATHA ONSLOW

CLONCURRY

MOUNT ISA

EMERALD

TELFER

BARIMUNYA

COONDEWANNA

NEWMAN

PARABURDOO

ULURU (AYERS ROCK)

ALICE SPRINGS

GLADSTONE

BALLERA COOBER PEDY MOUNT KEITH LEINSTER

MILES

MOOMBA

PROMINENT HILL

BRISBANE

OLYMPIC DAM

LEONORA

NARRABRI

EAST JAURDI PERTH

PORT AUGUSTA

SYDNEY

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QUEENSTOWN TE ANAU

March/April 2015

EAST COAST PILBARA DIRECT

... simply the best FIFO experience.

PROVIDING CUSTOMISED AVIATION SOLUTIONS • FIFO charter services • ACMI aircraft leasing P W

• Ad-hoc air charter flights

07 3212 1501 E sales@allianceairlines.com.au allianceairlines.com.au/charter

ABOUT US Alliance Airlines was established in 2002, recognising the growing demand from the domestic mining and energy sector for a provider of safe and reliable air transportation services to and from remote site locations. Alliance commenced operations with two Fokker 100 aircraft servicing two FIFO contracts, both of which are still serviced today. Our company has since expanded its fleet and operational capabilities to better service the continuing air transportation needs of the mining and energy sector . Alliance is a leading mining services company specialising in providing: • FIFO services • Ad hoc charter services • ACMI, or wet leasing, services. In December 2011, Alliance successfully listed on the ASX as AQZ.

FLIGHT BOOKINGS For customers wishing to book flights between Perth and Karratha, this must be done online: www.allianceairlines.com.au/home For customers wishing to book flights between Adelaide and Olympic Dam, this can be done online: www.qantas.com

OUR FLEET FOKKER F100

Number

Passengers

100

Length

35.5 metres

Wingspan

28 metres

Engines

RR Tay 650-15 Turbofans

Cruise Altitude

11,000 metres

Cruise Speed

800km/h

Range

3,167km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

FOKKER F70LR

CHARTER BOOKINGS For corporate or private charters of Alliance aircraft, the following contacts are available: www.allianceairlines.com.au/charters sales@allianceairlines.com.au 07 3212 1501

SAFETY INFORMATION Even though you may travel frequently, please familiarise yourself with the Safety On Board card located in your seat pocket.

ALCOHOL Passengers are not permitted to bring alcohol on board for in-flight consumption. On flights where Alliance offers a bar service, our flight attendants adhere to RSA guidelines.

SEAT BELTS Please observe the ‘Fasten Seat Belt’ signs when illuminated. In the interest of safety, keep your seat belt fastened at all times in case of unexpected turbulence.

CABIN BAGGAGE

Passengers should ensure that carry-on baggage does not weigh more than 7kg and fits into the overhead lockers.

Number

Passengers

Length

31 metres

Wingspan

28 metres

Engines

RR Tay 620-15 Turbofans

Cruise Altitude

11,000 metres

Cruise Speed

800km/h

Range

3,800km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

FOKKER F50

Number

Passengers

Length

25 metres

Wingspan

29 metres

Engines

2 x PW125B Turboprop

Cruise Altitude

7,800 metres

Cruise Speed

500km/h

Range

2,600km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

March/April 2015

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12 Chris Hemsworth speaks to ROCKS

CONTENTS THE PICK

ISSUE 17

UNLEASHED

22 EL DORADO

42 DADS OF ANARCHY

27 NRL PREVIEW

It’s Harley time.

Lessons from one Aussie’s gonzo trip to South America. How will your rugby league team go in 2015? Find out.

32 IT’S RICHARD HAMMOND!

09 INCOMING!

IN ORE

36 48 HOURS IN … QUEENSTOWN New Zealand’s hotspot offers plenty of action.

Top Gear’s coming to town.

What’s on, killer apps, great books and a painted lady.

12 CRUST

Tapas for starters and then more yum cha than you can fork a chicken’s foot at.

14 MAN + MACHINE

Want to experience full-tilt track tutoring in the bonkers new Porsche GT3? You can.

RegionalBusinessReview

Specialist section with the latest news & views from around Australia, featuring: • Inside Mining • Investment

• Agribusiness • News & Reviews March/April 2015

THE PICK

ROCKS has sniffed out the best stuff so you don’t have to. Just sit back, relax and enjoy!

E VENTS + ENTERTAINMENT + TECH + MOTORS + FOOD & DRINK

ON THE DOWNLOAD

Play, create, snap – 3 cool apps BaconBaconBacon

BYRON BAY BLUESFEST

SYDNEY COMEDY FESTIVAL

just 6000 punters over three days. Last year, it pulled more than 100,000 across five – and was declared “one of the world’s great festivals” by Rolling Stone. In 2015 they’re pulling out all the stops, headlined by The Black Keys, Lenny Kravitz and Ben Harper... plus the likes of Gary Clark Jr, Jurassic 5, Jimmy Cliff, Paul Kelly and ‘Goddamn’ George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic. Also: Train. But many bands that aren’t Train! 2-6 April, Tyagarah Tea Tree Farm, Byron Bay NSW. One-day adult tickets from $159. bluesfest.com.au

its first round of headliner announcements at full pace, trumpeting the appearance of UK pair Stephen K Amos (above; dapper) and Ross Noble (tangential), and following up with a brace of local stars: Jim Jefferies, Effie, Akmal, Ronny Chieng and Matt Okine. Perhaps the most surprising inclusion among the initial top-billers, however, is Colin Hay. Yes, the frontman from Men At Work. He’s always been a laugh between songs, and the ‘Down Under’ clip is funny, so why not? 20 April-17 May, sydneycomedyfestival.com.au

> Held in 1990, Byron’s first Bluesfest drew

> The 11th annual Sydney gigglefest started

TJUNGU FESTIVAL

> Ayers Rock Resort’s Town Square Lawns will be humming in late April with a four-day, familyfriendly celebration of culture – film, art, music, food and fashion – and sport. The jewels in the crown could be the AFL Tjungu Cup and the Tjungu Short Film Fest … although an avalanche of bush foods, from brilliant chefs, could mean you’re too full to move by then, and spend the night wedged between mulga shrubs, whimpering for Mylanta. 23-26 April, ayersrockresort.com.au

14 22

(iOS) Like Bejewelled, but wait! Instead of gems, you match pigs, and blow up vegans guarding them. Bonus pigs earn sausages and tomato sauce bombs. Although you can’t lose, which is a bit odd.

Hanx Writer

(iOS, free) Tom Hanks is an obsessive collector of typewriters. Yes, that Tom Hanks. He invented this app which makes your iPad sound and type like one. Pointless, but fun.

BaconReader

(iOS, Android, free) Reddit, aka ‘the front page of the internet’, is a glorious melange of cats, weirdness, knowledge and, er, entertaining unsavouriness. This is a beautiful featurepacked improvement on Reddit’s own viewing app.

SAY

Got s WHA ROC omething T? to you’r KS ? Is t here say abou e bur some t ning Don breat ’t mumb to see co thing le it h– ver Send tell us w under yo ed? u an em hat yo u thi r edge ail to n c k and h ustom.co rocks@ ! a m v . e a *Plea u your se be say.* kind migh – our tn f ot be

able

ragile egos to ta ke it.

March/April 2015

OUTER EDGE

BOOKS

CATASTROPHE: EUROPE GOES TO WAR 1914

SABINA KELLEY

MAX HASTINGS,

$24.99 Many war books are like watching Fox News: so partisan that you end up with skewed thinking, and believing that the Yanks alone saved the day, or overstating the role of the English (or, ahem, the Anzacs), or calling the French ‘cheese-eating surrender monkeys’. Not this one. It’s super cosmopolitan, in that it trawls through all theatres from all nations’ perspectives, at the same time sniffing at the idea of war’s ultimate utter futility – and sticking the boot into Berlin. Both ‘big picture’ and individual.

The burlesque model – and star of US tatt reality TV hit Best Ink – rejects Rocks’ clumsy advances. Sensible!

THE FREE

fter two years as a Vegas showgirl – a job that strictly banned tatts – Sabina Kelly got her first piece aged 20. Now 37, she’s one of the faces of the global scene. “Definitely a lot more people are getting tattooed, and I think a lot of them are getting them for the wrong reasons,” she says. “It’s cool, but it’s getting a little out of hand.” How so? I think that a tattoo should mean something to the person who’s getting it. But a lot of people nowadays will go to a tattoo convention and get a whole sleeve in one weekend. Absolutely crazy. Tattoos used to be for outlaws and sailors, now they’re on baristas and stay-at-home moms.

WILLIE VLAUTIN,

Has it lost its mystique? For sure. Definitely. I wouldn’t be getting tattooed if I was starting now. For me, as a female, it made me more of an individual, but now, nearly everyone has at least one small tattoo. It used to be special. Now for people to notice something it has to be shock value. Girls are getting tattooed on their faces now. Crazy stuff. Do people still prejudge you as a bad girl? Not as much, but yes. That or I drop my kids at school and other parents recognise me from TV or whatever and they’re all trying to be my best friend… What’s next in tatts? It’s becoming a lot more of an acceptable artform. I’m surprised, because I didn’t think the tattoo TV shows would still be going, but

they are. There are so many incredible artists now that it’s pushing the older artists to really step it up. Would you date a non-tattooed guy? Hmm. I think I could. I’m not particularly attracted to guys that aren’t heavily tattooed, but I would never say that I wouldn’t just because they weren’t… What if I got, ‘Sabina, will you come to the movies with me?’ tattooed on my arm? Oh, God. Please don’t. That’s creepy. But … innovative? When I was in Australia I met a girl who’d copied my entire sleeve, like one of my arms, with everything – even my kid’s name. I was shocked. Why would you do that? What does her boyfriend think of it? Haha! It was pretty strange.

$27.99 Contemporary American working life is... well, it’s a bit ordinary really, once you’re down on the breadline among the working poor. This novel, Vlautin’s fourth, is exactly that – cheerful, with crippled veterans, divorced paint salesmen, runaway addicts and careworn nurses. Sounds depressing, but it’s so brilliant and sympathetic, that you relish the little bits of hope. But you will feel the need to watch something dumb and happy after. Funniest Home Videos, anyone?

I AM ZLATAN

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC, $24.99 Swedish soccer captain Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 33, is an egomaniacal lunatic so charismatic that you forgive him for describing himself – in his bio’s first four pages – as “amazing”, “awesome” and “pretty awesome”. He writes off legendary, beloved Barca coach Pep Guardiola as a “spineless coward with no balls”, tells heroic stories about himself in the third person and clearly sees himself as a god. But, hey, he’s usually hard to argue with. More entertaining than a hundred roller-skating monkey butlers.

March/April 2015

WHERAET TO E INK & DR

FIVE OF THE BEST

YUM CHA

Trolleys full of steaming bamboo baskets containing plump dumplings and dim sum are the perfect way to start a lazy Sunday. Although yum cha means “with tea”, we all know it’s better with beer. WORDS: Simone Henderson-Smart

Gold Leaf Melbourne, VIC

No one does tacky Chinese décor better than this place, with chandeliers, tasseled lanterns, murals and massive fish tanks all conspiring to make your head spin faster than the trolleys whizzing past. It’s fast, flash and frantic dining and they do it daily. docklands.goldleafrestaurant.com

March/April 2015

Marigold Sydney, NSW

According to their website, “your heart will burst at the sight of the huge variety of dim sum on offer every day.” Let’s hope not – the only mess you want on your white linen tablecloth is a splash of soy sauce and the odd escaped prawn. marigold.com.au

Dragon Palace Perth, WA

Bamboo Basket Brisbane, QLD

Set in the heart of hip and happening Northbridge, this place really ups the razzle-dazzle casino vibe we’ve come to expect from fine Chinese establishments, with the addition of floorshows and karaoke rooms. dragonpalace.com.au

The chefs here really put on a show as they chop, roll, stuff and fold their way to dumpling bliss. Their signature dish is the Xiao Long Bao, where nestled inside the silken noodle sits both pork and soup in a yummy embrace. bamboobasket.com.au

CRUST

TOP TAPAS BARS The Spanish perfected the art of drinks and nibbles long before anyone here had ever thought of share plates and charcuterie boards. Pinxtos is Spanish for ‘spike’, and is basically bite-sized heaven on a toothpick. At Lona, similar to a sushi train, the food is brought out on large trays where you take whatever you want, keep the spikes as evidence of what’s been eaten and pay at the end. At just $3 each, you’ll get to sample plenty of different flavour combos of which there are currently 20 on offer; including deliciously crunchy croquetas with jamón and a lime basil aioli. There’s also a more substantial tapas menu and the slowbraised pork sliders (endowed with a kick of jalapeno, crackling and chipotle) are proving to be a massive hit with the locals. Drink: One of Spain’s most popular beers, Estrella Galicia, flows from the taps and is the perfect accompaniment to the nicely salty snacks. lona.com.au

Spice Temple Melbourne, VIC The fact that this place in the Crown Casino complex is owned by food guru Neil Perry makes it a risk-free, odds on winner. Sure it’s not the cheapest option around, and it’s more of an order from the menu rather than a trolley and stamps affair, but the yum cha here is the absolute best in Australia. Fact. rockpool.com

ANDALUZ BAR AND TAPAS Perth City

THE SANGRIA BAR AT OLÉ South Bank, Brisbane

LONA PINXTOS BAR St Kilda, Melbourne

Andaluz reeks of decadence and opulence. It’s all leather and velvet vintage, with dim light casting a soft romantic glow from strategically placed lamps and candles. The perfect spot for a late night date, it’s not just the décor that has the regulars swooning. The menu circles Spanish tradition like a bullfighter, giving tapas full respect, but throwing enough modern twists at it to keep a bit of a distance. Cheese lovers are certainly not ignored, with a choice of three cheeses (blue, goats and brie) served at room temperature and paired with caramelised onion chutney and crisp apple and house-made crackers — perfect for either a light lunch or a late supper. Drink: A sophisticated place like this requires a classy drink. If you’ve got a lazy $1850 lying around, by all means indulge in a bottle of Krug champagne, but the best bet is to work your way down their lovely, lengthy cocktail list. andaluzbar.com.au If you’re up for a full-on fiesta, say hola to this place. The long timber tables are just perfect for filling with friends and the bigger the group, the more morsels you’ll get to taste, so bring a crowd. The tapas here run the full gamut, from bite-sized bocaditos, via freshly sliced jamón to the larger raciones or share plates and lands finally in an assortment of enormous bowls of paella. Make it to the end and you’ll be thankful your mates were there to help you. Drink: Toast your teamwork with large icy jugs of Sangria. Far from the usual red wine and sliced citrus affair, Olé has seven different versions available. For a tropical twist try the Sangria Colada, comprising crisp white wine, coconut rum and pineapple juice topped with fresh mint and spicy ginger beer. olerestaurant.com.au March/April 2015

DIAL

911!

■ WORDS: Stephen Corby

TRACK ATTACK

There’s advanced driver training – and then there’s full-on race tutoring in an almost $300K track weapon: the new Porsche GT3

ealising what an entirely ordinary, scaredy-kitten of a driver you are is a deeply humbling and slightly mortifying moment indeed. I’m sitting in front of a laptop displaying the data from a series of laps I’ve just done at Queensland Raceway as part of a Porsche Sport Driving School course with instructor, and champion racer, Craig Baird next to me. Earlier in the day, Baird had flung me around the track, showing me how it’s done with the kind of effortlessness that just gives you the irrits, and the trace line of his lap was now being overlaid with mine by his race engineer. His very patient and understanding race engineer. The squiggly lines clearly show that I’m slower, and that I’m braking a bit earlier at the end of the straight, before tackling the

high-speed Turn One, than he is. Naively I ask what the difference is “about five, 10 metres is it?” The engineer gives me a deeply amused look. “Well, let’s just have a look shall we? I think you might be a bit shocked.” The difference, it turns out, is 65m. I’m getting on the brakes more than half a football field before Baird, which at least partly explains why his top speed is 208km/h, and mine is somewhere under 180km/h. It’s not so much a gap as a yawning chasm, into which my pride just fell. This is the Level 4, or “Master”, course, which means there’s still some time to climb out because we’ll get three more 10-lap stints over the day (the instructors watch these from the pit wall and shout into the ear pieces in your helmet via radio, because they’re not silly enough to be in the car once the

MAN + MACHINE

PORSCHE SPORT DRIVING SCHOOL The school is run by former V8 RACING LEGEND THOMAS MEZERA. He’s a gun. Note that you need to progress through each level to qualify for the next one.

LEVEL 1 - $1397

students start frenetically trying to push themselves). After each session you’re dragged straight back into the classroom with your engineer for another look at your data, which quite simply leaves no place to hide. What they want from you is consistency, which will equal gradual improvement, apparently. What I want is to cut 10 seconds from my lap time. It’s an exciting day, and one that’s incredibly popular with paying punters, some of whom attend every year, and sometimes more than once, but it’s also frustrating. Surely you’ve got the same limbs and appendages as Craig Baird, and you know the car – the brand new ultimate Porsche track weapon, a $293,600 GT3 with 350kW and a 0-to-100km/h time of 3.5 seconds – can do it, because you sat there and watched it happen. So why can’t you do what they do? Well, obviously, the size of their balls, or the lack of operational fear circuits in their brains, is a big difference. They go deeper and faster into corners because they’re not afraid like you are. But the other yawning gulf is in talent and skill. Keeping a car level through a corner, which stops it from pitching or rolling and costing you grip, and time, is all about being smooth. Sure, you hit the brakes hard, but how you come off them is just as important; lift off too sharply and all the weight comes off the nose and understeer is on the cards. The GT3 is so fiendishly well engineered (Baird says even racers leave the traction control on in these cars, because it’s so clever), of

course, that it will make you look and feel good, even if you are ham footed. To really gain time, though, you have to change the way you drive, while also doing your best to flatten your fear. The engineers talk a lot about your minimal corner speed – the very slowest point of a bend. How much pace you’re carrying at this point makes all the difference, and through the fast, frightening first turn Baird holds at least 130km/h, while my first run was almost 40km/h slower. The instruction here is so good and so specific that you really can’t fail to get better. I manage to match the 130km/h figure on one

“THE INSTRUCTION IS SO GOOD, SO SPECIFIC, THAT YOU CAN’T FAIL TO IMPROVE” particularly brave, dry-mouthed lap, even though I’m still braking too early. Over the day I manage to cut seven seconds off my time, which still leaves me a vast three seconds behind the professional steerer. The sense of satisfaction is almost as high as the level of adrenaline rush you’re feeling all day, fanging this amazing car for so many laps, with no pace car to slow you down. This is serious fun, and seriously worth the $3500 price tag, although it does cost some time and money to get to Level 4. Still, the Porsche Sport Driving School’s first three courses are cheaper (Level 1 and 2 are $1397) and sound like almost as much fun, in slightly lesser cars. Facing your own failings can be fun. Overcoming them rocks.

DRIVE the entire Porsche range at the Mt Cotton Driver Training Centre in Brisbane. Hot laps with racing drivers thrown in.

LEVEL 2 - $1397 MORE of the same at Mt Cotton, but this time the pace is lifted and hopefully your driving is getting better.

LEVEL 3 - $1694 THE WHOLE range of Porsches are yours to drive again, but this time you’re at Queensland Raceway, a proper track, which raises the pace significantly.

LEVEL 4 - $3500 A PROPER track day in a proper track car, the 911 GT3, with your race data being evaluated by engineers after every 10-lap session. They can be cruel, but they’re effective. An amazing day out.

LEVEL 5 - $6500 THIS is the real thing – your chance to drive an actual Carrera Cup race car at Queensland Raceway, with instruction from experts and all your data analysed by race engineers.

November/December March/April 2015 2013

INORE

March/April 2015

INORE

HAMMER TIME Chris Hemsworth talks with Rocks direct from the set of Avengers: Age of Ultron

here are lots of cool superheroes. Wolverine (claws!). Deadpool (jokes!). Batman, obviously (no jokes, ever). Swamp Thing and Wonder Woman and Shazam. Ghostrider and Jean Grey and Psylocke. Men and women, mutants and demons. A living compost heap. And then there’s Thor. Thor is the crappiest superhero. Not that he’s weak. On the contrary, he’s a god. But superheroes are a bit pointless when they’re invulnerable, and more so since the genre’s gone all gritty and brooding, something that’s also affected Superman. Superman sucks too, getting out of every jam via some new power the writers pluck from thin air, but Thor is worse. Because Thor’s powers, especially in the classic Silver Age comics, are plain dumb. Consider: Thor can’t fly, but instead throws his hammer, Mjölnir, into the distance … and gets yanked along because it’s tethered to his wrist, like a puppy tied to a shot put. If separated from Mjölnir for 60 seconds, Thor

loses his powers … a drawback compounded by his habit of wazzing it at enemies, some of whom he fights in outer space. Also, he talks like this: “Heed my words, evildoers. If thou dost wish to challenge the Odinson, thou will face the divine power of mighty Mjölnir! Never shall the god of thunder relent!” He talks like that all the time, which is dumb. But then, Thor is dumb. “Thor stumbled into every trap anyone ever set for him and lived in a near constant state of outrage and surprise,” wrote US comic Sean Reiley. “It’s probably why he was both immortal and forced to wear a helmet.” So, Thor. A dumb, pompous berk.

But Chris Hemsworth? He’s great! Hemsworth is People magazine’s 2014 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, but the 191cm former Home & Away star’s greatest achievement has been to save Thor. Under C-Hems’ command, Thor rules. This year, Hemsworth, 31, plays Thor for the fourth time in Avengers: Age of Ultron. He plays Thor funny and he plays Thor dumb, but mostly he just plays Thor charismatic. And it works: Hemsworth’s first two Thor solo outings grossed US$1.1b. In 2017, he’ll cape-up again for Thor: Ragnarok. Hemsworth is money. And he’s no berk himself. As the saviour of Asgard’s hammer-hurling dipshit proved in his sit-down with Rocks…

“I LOVED GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY – MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE MARVEL FILM”

March/April 2015

FIFO syndrome symptom #9

Watching sit-coms with a wom called Tom.

When youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready to cancel movie night with the marsupial, fly in to the legendary lifestyle of Taranaki, New Zealand.

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Tom, but it’s also great to see what the different characters will bring out in Thor now. You know, you don’t want to exhaust one relationship and in the Thor story there’s always room to do more Thor and Loki stuff, but this is nice to do something completely different.

“BEING BLACK WIDOW WOULD’VE NAILED MY DREAM OF PLAYING A SEXY FEMALE SUPERHERO”

Chris Hemsworth words by Ben Smithurst

So, Marvel just turned the comic-book Thor into a woman. Has Disney run playing Thor as a female by you? Because you’d make a very unattractive woman. Haha! Oh yeah, they love the idea! No, what went viral was that that’s what happens in the comic books, and it looked like they were going to shoot that in the films. And they ran with it, you’re right. I just took it head on, that little rumour. I welcome the challenge. Ha! Right. If you were to cast Thor as a woman, who would you choose? As a woman, Jennifer Lawrence, [laughs] I’ll aim high. After making the Thor sequel, on your own, what’s it like being part of the Avengers ensemble again? It’s great. I love the ensemble, especially with the characters, and this cast. You don’t have to carry the

THE ORIGINAL AVENGERS MOVIE’S ULTIMATE ALIEN-BUSTING BOSS FIGHT: GOOD LUCK CLAIMING THAT DAMAGE ON YOUR INSURANCE

load as much as you do with the individual films, and it’s a great group of people. It’s awesome. We’d all seen each other individually a bit over the year or two since we’ve finished Avengers and we’re excited to get back together and do this one. How many Thors are you contractually obliged to do? Six in total, so we’ve done four now… So basically another individual film and another Avengers? Yeah, that’s the plan. Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki, is cool. And you’re mates. Is it weird working without him? Yeah, a little. At first I was like, ‘Ah gee.’ I was interested to see his conflict and the motivation behind what he was doing because it was all drawn by the previous relationship. But it’s great. I love working with

What’s the feel of this Avengers? There’s so much money riding on it – like a billion dollars. I think it’s nice walking into this, from our point of view. Having the first work so well received and with this huge following through all the Marvel films, I’m sure Joss [Whedon] feels more of that pressure than we do. He has to write the script and wrangle everything together. We just have to turn up and do our bit. But it’s nice each time to have another go at the character and see where else you can explore and where else you can take it. What I love about this film is it deals with artificial intelligence, it’s all very relevant, about potential things that are happening or are going to happen in world we live in. Relevant ideas and topics that make it all the more interesting and thought-provoking. Do you get bashed out of frame by the Hulk again? No, don’t think so, haha! Someone else might. I’m still recovering from the first one. Did you see Guardians of the Galaxy? I honestly loved that film. It might possibly be my favourite of all the Marvel films. It was so much fun and I love what they did with the sound track. Turned the whole world – that type of film –on its head a bit. It had a different energy than I’d seen in any of the Marvel films before. Very unique and I thought everyone in it was fantastic. Yeah, maybe Thor will come across them in the Marvel universe ... I look forward to that. Within the Avengers, are there any other characters you’d like to play? No, I wouldn’t want to touch it, and

March/April 2015

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tinker around. They’ve all done so well. Eh, I don’t know, I don’t have anything witty for you… You’d be a hot Black Widow. Haha! Yeah, that would really have nailed my dream of playing a sexy female superhero. You bulk up for Thor, then slim down for things like Rush. How hard is that to keep up? I’d rather put the weight on than take it off. They both have their plusses and minuses, that particular time was the hardest. I did Michael Mann’s movie, Blackhat, right before

I started with Ron [Howard, director on Rush] and I’d started to lose the weight at the beginning of that. By the time I got to Ron’s film, eight, nine months after, I was exhausted and by the end, dead. It comes back that little bit easier each time, the muscle memory. But you go from one extreme to the other, whatever that is ... eating nothing or eating everything. Neither is particularly comfortable, though. It’s been a little different this time round, they said there’s three parts to the equation; there’s the working out, there’s the food and the sleep. And the sleep has been minimised a

little bit now because of my three kids, haha! It’s not too bad, I’m not complaining.

ULTRON-ERA AVENGERS: STILL BUFF, NO LONGER CONFUSED BY SHAWARMA

Do your children even notice that one month you’re buff and then all weedy the next? Nah, my two youngest are so young, they don’t even know who I am. But my daughter, with the Thor costume especially, she used to be like, ‘Oh yeah, it’s a bit different,’ and she was happy that I’d pick her up and swing her around. Now, she’s like, ‘Off, off,’ because it’s bulky and metal and she pulls at the wig. She doesn’t like the look. Sounds like you’re not getting much sleep. Do you ever hit the town with your Avengers co-stars? We do get to sleep, it’s not that bad [laughs]. When Robert was here, he set up a bunch of lunches and dinners. He was wrangling everyone, but the rest of us are too lazy, he’s fantastic for that. How are the new characters [Elizabeth ‘The Scarlett Witch’ Olsen and Aaron ‘Quicksilver’ Taylor-Johnson] getting on? Has there been an initiation process for them? They’re too emotionally and physically scarred to talk about it [laughs]. They’re great. It’s funny, after two, three months of shooting, I was talking to Lizzie and asked her, ‘So what exactly are your powers? And she’s like, ‘I can manipulate matter and do lots of magical things. What about you?’ And I’m like, ‘Well I have a magic hammer and I can fly’ [laughs]. What a ridiculous conversation. We just compare powers.

“I’M LIKE, ‘WELL I HAVE A MAGIC HAMMER AND I CAN FLY’. HA! WE JUST COMPARE POWERS” 20

March/April 2015

Whose powers would you have in real life? Quicksilver. I like his speed, he’s kind of cool. You could do the housework. Yeah, do all the cleaning up. My wife would be delighted.

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WORDS: AARON SMITH

WHAT I LEARNED ... IN

SOUTH AMERICA Australian Gonzo author Aaron Smith spent three years not-quite-dying in Latin America. These are the five lessons he learnedâ&#x20AC;Ś

March/April 2015

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1 DON’T WANDER OFF IN THE FAVELA “On a date with my future wife, we went samba dancing, the cornerstone of Brazilian culture. Now, born with two left feet and growing up with four on the floor rock’n’roll, the best way for a gringo like me to get into the Latin groove’s lightening footwork was to drink a skinful of caipirinhas – the limedrenched national cocktail of Brazil. Or so I thought. It turned out my fancy footwork was my bladder telling me it was at bursting point and a quick shuffle down a lane-way looking for a water closet brought me face-to-face with an angry tweenager with a machine gun. I’d inadvertently walked into the vicious drug gang’s no-go zone. “You die now, you white son of a bitch!” he blurted out in Portuguese, while pointing a gun to my head. Luckily, my date noticed and rushed to my rescue convincing the lad not to shoot me. After that I figured she was a keeper. We’re now married.”

2 HOW TO IMPRESS A FUTURE MOTHER-INLAW WHEN YOU DON’T SPEAK THE LINGO “Pursuing a nice Brazilian girl took a lot of ground work – dinners, long phone calls and many a brush-off. With only a couple of weeks left till my return ticket expired, it took tearing it up to get to second base. But not before meeting the in-laws. Before that, she made me get new clothes, a haircut, shave and read a list of things I could and couldn’t talk about. So I memorised a compliment for her mother about her kitchen, ‘Bonita cozinha’, but I inadvertently said, ‘Bonita cuzinho’, which meant ‘beautiful arse’. Her mum blushed and the dad went quiet. Luckily I also said nice things about his football team.” March/April 2015

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“THE CHIEF SMEARS FROG POISON INTO YOUR WOUND AND, PRESTO, YOU’RE IN!”

3 HOW TO GET INITIATED AS AN AMAZONIAN MATSE INDIAN WARRIOR “The initiation is a fairly straightforward, yet painful, process. The Indian Chief drives the burning ember of a stick from the fire into your skin and then smears poison from a tree frog mixed with his spit into the wound and, presto, you’re initiated. As long as the neuro-toxin doesn’t kill you. “The hard part is getting there. In the middle of the Amazon jungle, 20 hours by river boat and a further six hours by dugout canoe from any inkling of civilisation, these once cannibal nomads live in some rugged country. Country no guide in their right mind would take you to. So I found one, not of sound mind, Aukoo, a Texan alcoholic, ’Nam vet in a 10-gallon hat, who always spoke of himself in the third person. After a beery all-nighter in a bar on the wrong side of the tracks, he showed me a copy of his extensive criminal record and said, ‘Aukoo only has one guarantee: to get you out alive.’ I said, ‘That ain’t a rap sheet, it’s a resume, you’re hired.’”

AARON [CENTRE], JUST POPPING DOWN TO THE SHOPS FOR SOME MILK

Aaron Smith’s hilarious travel memoir, Chasing El Dorado – A South American Adventure, $29.95, is out now through Transit Lounge publishing. Award-winning Gonzo travel writer Smith has roughed it through more than 50 countries and now edits a regional newspaper in the Torres Strait, where he lives with his Brazilian wife and daughter.

4 HOW TO DRINK HALLUCINOGENS IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR ZONE “Stoically determined, or plain foolhardy, I retraced ’50s Beat writer William Burroughs’ steps into south eastern Columbia, a region the Australian Government rated as dangerous as Afghanistan, to meet a famous shaman and drink the highly hallucinogenic ayahuasca. As the brew tore me a new one, the FARC guerillas were fighting the military all around me with spats of machine-gun fire that got closer and closer as the ‘trip’ came on stronger and stronger. I assumed a horizontal position, partly because the 1670km/hr spin of the planet made me dizzy through my fish-eye vision, and partly because I wanted to minimise the chance of being hit by a stray bullet. I hummed Kumbaya My Lord and tried not to vomit on the shaman’s shoes.”

5 HOW TO FIND A TRUSTWORTHY SHAMAN … WHEN YOU ARE NOT WEARING PANTS “After an all-night, spine-jarring, whiteknuckle bus ride up Peruvian mountain switchbacks, with crumbling road softshoulders teetering over sheer drops to oblivion, finding a shaman to spit perfume over me, make me snort tobacco juice from a scallop shell, douse me in talcum powder while waving a sword all around me and under the influence of mescaline, was easy. “As I stepped off the bus at first light in the misty mountain town of Huancabamba, I was approached by a government official who took me to an office and showed me a brochure of the region’s most revered shamans. It’s that simple. The shamans in the brochure stared into the middle distance with bikini-clad nymphs. “The official then gave me a document and organised a taxi further up the mountain to where the gravel lane ended at a goat track. After the all-night, talcum-powdered, spiritual callisthenics, and a three-hour donkey ride up to a lake at 3500 metres, I was required to strip off to the buff and take the sub-zero waters, not once but three times. My family jewels shrunk to the size of raisins and I teetered on hypothermia, but it was a small price to pay for spiritual cleansing.”

March/April 2015

Winter is coming – and for half the country, that means rugby league. But how will your team fare? Gaze into the crystal ball with Rocks magazine’s 2015 NRL Preview…

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BASH& BARGE NRL SEASON PREVEW March/April 2015

BRISBANE BRONCOS SOUTH SYDNEY Prior to Rusty Crowe’s then controversial takeover of the club in 2006, the Rabbitohs were ‘the pride of the league’ like tinea is the pride of the foot. But now! With arguably NRL’s greatest current player, new captain Greg ‘GI’ Inglis, at fullback, 17 cloned Burgess brothers in the pack and a genuinely top coach in Michael Maguire, 2014 saw the Cardinal and Myrtle claim their first premiership since 1971. Why they’ll win: They’ve lost the least replaceable Burgess, Sam, to rugby union, but gained Manly’s Glenn Stewart, who despite looking 43 is only 31. Under Maguire, Stewart will go from butterball back to brilliant. And there’s always the Souths’ simplest (and best) fallback plan should that fail – chuck it to GI. Why they won’t: No premier has gone back-to-back since Brisbane in 1997-98, and almost everything went Souths’ way in 2014. 28

March/April 2015

MELBOURNE STORM With Australian captain Cameron Smith, Billy ‘Studs Up’ Slater at fullback and Cooper ‘Yes, that is my actual name’ Cronk at half, the Storm have a home record second to none and clearly the best, most influential coach in the game. And while they’re all getting on a bit, Smith may play on at hooker until he’s 50. Having lost the super-fat cult figure George Rose to the Dragons, they’ll also save on buffet bills. Why they’ll win: Because, given half an hour and a pencil, coach Craig Bellamy can turn an arthritic Big Issue vendor from outside the ground on game day into a premiership winning centre three-quarter. Why they won’t: You can only spend half your roster’s salary on three stars for so long – and losing Ryan Hoffman to the Warriors will hurt badly. And, eventually, the NRL will manage to stamp out their annoying wrestling – surely.

Having reinstalled Wayne Bennett as coach in the offseason, sacking the hard-doneby Anthony Griffin – a coach most notable for sounding exactly like Wayne Bennett – Brisbane entered 2015 in the odd situation of having more number ones than an Octoberfest pissoir. The Broncs already having signed Canberra genius Anthony Milford, Bennett brought in his deeply irritating pet Darius Boyd – and thus offloaded Ben Barba and Josh Hoffman. Why they’ll win: They’re league’s most powerful club, backed by an entire city to stuff their coffers. Bennett is a footballing god. And new custodian-cum-five-eighth Anthony Milford, again, is a genius: zippy, smart and slyer than Sylvester Stallone smuggling foxes. Why they won’t: Bennett is past it – see: Newcastle – and while he’s back at the Broncs, he doesn’t have the cattle he’s used to. Plus Boyd tore his Achilles straightaway – ha! – and oft-injured key man Justin Hodges has seen more winters than Torah Bright.

NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS The bitter blow of Alex McKinnon’s neck injury in round three of 2014 – the inspirational McKinnon remains in a wheelchair – was only the worst of Newcastle’s woes last season. With underachieving coach Wayne Bennett upping stumps, taking their best player, Darius Boyd, with him, the Knights season will rest on the fitness of captain Kurt Gidley and half Jarrod Mullen. Why they’ll win: Akuila Uate is more exciting than an exploding rollercoaster and hard-head Jeremy Smith gets better with age. Which is handy, as he was transported to Australia on the First Fleet for stealing footballs. Why they won’t: They’re missing perhaps three big names. And half a dozen medium names. And the Johns brothers. And hope.

CRONULLA SHARKS CANBERRA RAIDERS It’s been a lean trot for the hapless Green Machine, mostly because having built their colossal original success on the back of imported Queenslanders in the late ’80s, players have since become aware that signing for the Raiders means living in Canberra. And being subject to the white-knuckle zeal of coach Ricky Stuart, a man so intense his haemorrhoids have stomach ulcers. But they’ve signed Blake Austin from the Tigers and Frank-Paul ‘The Wrecking Ball’ Nu’uausala from the Roosters, who is a bona fide lunatic. Why they’ll win: Er… they’ve donated a lot of local juniors to other clubs. So some of them might grab some silverware? Why they won’t: Their best player, Anthony Milford, was so good he was practically their best three players. But he wouldn’t even stay for fourplayers’ worth of salary.

Things can only get better for Cronulla, who spent 2014 like Game of Thrones’ Theon Greyjoy tied to Ramsay Bolton’s rack. Their torture was relentless: hounded by ASADA drug investigations; sacking big-swinging-dick star player Todd Carney for ‘bubblering’ wee into his own mouth; censuring captain Paul Gallen for Tweeting abuse at his NRL masters. Coach Shane ‘I know nothing, I wasn’t looking, I was all the way over there!’ is back, but like Theon, scarred and wangless, what can there be to look forward to? Why they’ll win: Ben Barba, fresh from Brisbane, can recapture his best form and, peptides or not, Gallen still has a motor the size of an A380. Why they won’t: Gallen is 34 in August and apparently thinks he’s a real boxer. At least he needn’t worry about pugilism ruining his looks. Punches affect Gallen’s head like the British A-bomb trials affected Maralinga – where they stopped testing because nobody could tell the difference afterwards.

GOLD COAST TITANS The big disappointment of the NRL, desperate for ‘the Tits’ to succeed and provide another TV asset in southern Queensland. The Coast has managed to jag quality fullback Josh Hoffman from their big brother Broncs, but lost the quicksilver Albert Kelly, and three of their best forwards – Luke Bailey, Ashley Harrison and Mark Minichiello – to retirement and the UK Super League. And had their coach resign. To be replaced by Neil Henry … who was last sacked by North Queensland. Why they’ll win: Daniel Mortimer, in his first full season, will finally give them a genuine halfback and captain/ human pitbull Greg Bird was married in December, so he’s ready to mature and take on more responsibility. Why they won’t: Bird was arrested the day after his wedding for urinating on a police car. With police sitting in it. So … maybe not quite that ready to mature just yet?

MANLYWARRINGAH SEA EAGLES Eagles coach Geoff Toovey wakes up angry, shouts cornflake bits throughout breakfast and becomes apoplectic reversing his Camry out of the carport. In 2014 he had lots to be angry about, with a team apparently irked by halfback Daly CherryEvans’ big head and the offloading of the popular Glenn Stewart. But on the pitch, things went swimmingly until they sputtered out in the finals. Perennially strong. Why they’ll win: With DCE and Kieran Foran at the club, at least for now, they have the best halves combination in the league. And centre Steve Matai is fantastically, unrepentantly violent. But will he jump ship? Why they won’t: Do they even like each other? Will Matai be suspended for 14 weeks? Will the veins pulsing in Toovey’s forehead erupt like IEDs? March/April 2015

NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS The consistently underachieving Townsvillers came into existence just five years after Brisbane, allowing them to cheekily name themselves after the bronco’s natural master. But while Brisbane has six premierships, North Queensland has zero. Mostly because they really ought to be called the ‘North Queensland Jonathan Thurstons’. Their beautifullyeyelashed captain has been their best player since his arrival in 2005. No shame – he’s usually the league’s best player – but he’s been almost entirely without backup. Why they’ll win: They’ve been gypped by contentious refereeing errors, knocking them out of the playoffs, for the past two seasons. They deserve some luck. Why they won’t: Like cane toads, the Cows travel a lot. But also like cane toads, when they’re on the road, they usually get flattened. Their away record is grim to say the least. 30

March/April 2015

NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS Blessed with a superstar playmaker in Shaun Johnson and a quality imported British fullback, Sam Tomkins, the Warriors have nabbed Melbourne Storm, NSW and Australian star back rower Ryan Hoffman for 2015. More cleverly, they’ve also offloaded Feleti Mateo (to Manly), whose personal hot-and-cold peculiarities embodied the Warriors own: capable of mind-boggling creativity, at any time, from anywhere. But just as likely to throw the ball backwards over his own head. To his own surprise. In a gap. With the line open. Why they’ll win: They’re big, skilled, and Johnson is a once-in-a-generation freak. Why they won’t: The Rugby World Cup is on at the same time as the NRL Grand Final. So even if they do win, it’ll be buried on page 34 of the Otago Times. What’s the point?

ST GEORGEILLAWARRA DRAGONS The Big Red V has a fresh, no-nonsense coach in Paul ‘Mary’ McGregor but their frustrated fan base has been dusting off their ‘Oust Doust!’ signs – referring to the Dragons’ Peter Doust, the game’s longest serving CEO – for so long they’re printed on Great Depression era sandwich boards. Amazingly, Saints’ most consistent skill is losing to Canberra in Canberra, even if the Raiders squad stays home that day and trots out their mums instead. Why they’ll win: Prop Dan Hunt looks like an hugely overgrown toddler whose brain-free skull has thickened from steroid use ... without even using ’roids. He is a perfect footballer. Why they won’t: They paid over the odds for Benji Marshall, who is now fat, and hence couldn’t keep Brett Morris, who is not. Five-eighth Gareth Widdop is good, as is tattooed screw-up centre/fullback Josh Dugan, but they can’t do it all.

PARRAMATTA EELS With a baffling random ‘y’ in his name, a love of American culture and a tough upbringing in the tough suburb of Minto, Parramatta star Jarryd Hayne, 27, was the embodiment of western Sydney. Tragically for Parra, just 10 days after last year’s Grand Final – and thus too late to replace him, or even have a plan to replace him – Hayne quit the NRL to try to make it in the USA’s NFL. Leaving Parra like Saddam left Kuwait: confused, broken, burning and glued to US TV. Why they’ll win: Deprived of Hayne’s dominance, other players will have to get busy. Centre Will Hopoate, oddly for his family, is both a quality footballer and sane. Why they won’t: They just won’t. But bulldozing winger Semi Radradra will still do more battering than Birds Eye foods.

CANTERBURY BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS SYDNEY ROOSTERS The Chooks have long been derided as a bunch of innercity, latte-sipping pretty boys, which, to be fair, doesn’t really qualify as a ‘criticism’… and if they’ve just beaten you, seems a backhanded insult. Not very pretty at all is their leader, the massive, cubic, elbow-raising Kiwi enforced Jared WaereaHargreaves – apparently the NRL’s strongest man. The Roosters share a deep, visceral, mutual hatred with Souths. It says much about the code that this is one of league’s greatest assets. Bonus: astute, taciturn coach Trent Robinson has a tomato for a face. Why they’ll win: Because Souths did last year, and hammered the Bondi boys beforehand. Why they won’t: Because Sonny Bill Williams has gone back to the All-Blacks. He’s been replaced by Blake Ferguson, who while brilliant at football, seems an A-grade loosecannon douche. Who’ll goad Mitchell Pearce up the ’Cross.

Coached by the deadly combination of Des Hasler and Des Hasler’s hair, as sentient a coif as that of Australian Idol-era Andrew G, the Doggies over-achieved in 2014 – and were put to the sword in the Grand Final. They’ve lost their captain, professional irritant Michael Ennis, a sort of human version of 28 Days Later’s rage virus, but replaced him with up-and-coming star Michael Lichaa – and added a second Morris brother, Brett, from the Dragons. Looking good. But is Brett a fullback? Why they’ll win: Their forwards are awesome, lead by huge St Helens nutjob James Graham (who is nicknamed ‘Bupa’, like the health insurance, for his resemblance to a fat, dying version of fellow prop Aiden Tolman). They also have David Klemmer, 21, who is two metres tall, 120kg and looks like an orc on day release from a Mordor prison. Why they won’t: Oddly, considering their halves are the NSW Origin incumbents, they lack creativity.

PENRITH PANTHERS Ginger NRL Footy Show honcho Fatty Vautin described Phil Gould’s head as looking “like it’s been stung by a thousand bees”, but the Penrith chief can build a team. The young Panfers were strong in 2014, refusing to be derailed even by the loss of their half Peter Wallace, and unearthing more booms than a Sydney to Hobart field. Those included a boom fullback (Matt Moylan), a boom hooker (James Segeyaro), boom lock (Adam Docker) and a boom crap hipster beard (Josh Mansour). Why they’ll win: Halfback Jamie Soward’s tiny dwarf legs can kick a ball 70 metres on the fly. Their ascent seems inexorable. Why they won’t: Massive centre Jamal Idris is fearsome … but always just a week away from utterly left-field off-field calamity. What next? Jamal’s disappeared again! Jamal’s got his head caught in a gate! Jamal’s punched the Prime Minister! Jamal’s eaten the tea lady! It’s anyone’s guess.

WESTS TIGERS The full-of-potential Tigers are the league version of cricket’s injury-plagued Shane Watson – every stubbed toe a shattered ulna, every shaving cut a decapitation. But with a young gun fullback (James Tedesco), halfback (Luke Brooks), lock (Curtis Sironen), utility (Tim Moltzen) and reserve hooker (Blake Austin), their future looked bright. Except now Austin’s buggered off … to Canberra. Who would do that? Only a masochist, and it’s never good to lose a masochist from your roster; they’re tough. Why they’ll win: Robbie Farah, uninjured, will more than cover Austin and new coach Jason Taylor will be less fractious than the messily departed Mick Potter. Why they won’t: They’re not particularly good at ‘tackling’. Sadly. And Taylor left his last head coaching gig, at Souths, because he was bashed … by one of his players at the pub. So he’s a leader of men... March/April 2015

BRUSHESWITHDEATH

MY ZOMBIE

SPIDER

HELL!

Top Gear’s Richard Hammond knows cars. But cars with spiders in them? Not so much, as he tells Rocks… WORDS: BEN SMITHURST

ou’re coming to Australia for Top Gear Live, and you’re infamously arachnophobic. You know we’ve got the world’s deadliest spiders, don’t you? Well, spider deaths are very rare in Australia, aren’t they? Though we all think of the place being full of the bastards, very few people get bitten by them.

went past a tree everything that was on every frond of that tree just dropped into my car. We’d finished filming for the day, because it was dark, and we had a seven-hour drive ahead of us to get to the next stop. I climbed into my car and I was about to set off when I looked up and there was an enormous spider clinging underneath the fixed camera on the roof above my head in the car.

Thank heavens. You’ve

What did you do? Well, I leapt out and went and found the expedition boss and he went and looked and said ‘Oh God, it’s a Brown Recluse!’ And they’re very nasty spiders, because they necrotise your flesh so your flesh rots off the bones.

Hammond shown actual size

infamously cheated death by a narrow margin on film, when you had a massive crash and went into a coma in 2006. What’s been your closest scrape off camera? It was when we were filming in Bolivia. I was driving an old Toyota LandCruiser where you couldn’t close the doors and windows because it was ruined. We were driving through the rainforest, and so every time I

March/April 2015

Ugh! Yes! So we knocked the thing off – the idea was just to get rid of it, and I set off following a camera car. We weren’t filming, we were just

“THE BECA Y’RE VER YOURUSE THE Y NASTY ROTS FLESH SY NECRO SPIDER S, OFF T O YOU TISE HE BO R FLE NES” SH

REJOICE!

IT’S TOP GEAR

LIVE!

The boys are coming back to Sydney – and this time, it’s the full compliment… TOP GEAR Live has graced Australian shores in the past, and the trio of hosts shot an episode in the Northern Territory late last year. But until the 2015 version, which will be held at Sydney Motorsport Park on 18-19 April, it’s never had all three at once. This year will see the full compliment – Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond – plus the Stig out from the UK. “I’m looking forward to it very, very much,” says Hammond. “Although it’ll still be the other two ugly idiots I’m stuck with so that’s just annoying, really.” It’s a chance, according to Hammond, for the trio of Brits to really tee off on the locals. “Well, because it’s the first time with all three of us, we can really crank up the rivalry between the countries,” he says. “So I think we, together with the Stig, are going to take on an all-star Aussie team, including [former Australian TV hosts] Shane Jacobson and Steve Pizzati, and we’re going to challenge them to a load of risky, high-speed racing challenges. “So as one bright spark said, if cricket has the Ashes, this could well be ‘the Crashes’,” he sighs. “Oh, God. I apologise.” “Although we are planning on playing V8 cricket, where we use a V8 to bowl. If it works.” Tickets available from ticketek.com.au

March/April 2015

BRUSHESWITHDEATH

TOP GEAR’S TRIO. FROM LEFT: JAMES MAY,RICHARD HAMMOND, JEREMY CLARKSON

rattling along, off road, in this rattly old car; it was seven or eight hours on rough tracks. And so about 10 or 15 minutes later I felt something land on my shoulder… The Brown Recluse! I looked to my left and there was this enormous spider grinning at me. It was a big mother – it was wearing a tool belt and things, it was horrible – and the car had no brakes or clutch, at all. I was driving it clutchless. So all I could do was grind it into first to slow it down, cut the engine and throw myself out onto the ground, first swiping the spider off my shoulder. Then I ran up to the camera car to have them check for spiders, but it was gone. I’d knocked it off … back into the car. Did you find it? No! So somewhere in the car was this enormous Brown Recluse. Which I had to drive onwards with for seven hours, being very careful not to put my hand anywhere that I couldn’t see. Did you consider setting fire to the car? I considered saying there’d been a horrible accident and my car burned to the ground, yes. But no, after

March/April 2015

“I LOOKED TO MY LEFT AND THERE WAS THIS ENORMOUS SPIDER GRINNING AT ME. IT WAS A BIG MOTHER” three hours I was so tired that I said, over the radio, ‘Guys, I can’t do this alone – I’m sorry, I need someone to talk to…’ And they sent me Greg, Thin Greg, as we called him then. He was a researcher, only a 20-year-old kid who had just joined the show. I gave him a bottle of DEET, said ‘There, put that all over you’ – I didn’t tell him that the thing about DEET is it doesn’t work against spiders, haha! – and said ‘Don’t touch anything you can’t see, there’s a poisonous spider in here somewhere’. And he just sat there staring ahead with wide eyes for the next four hours. He didn’t die, though? No, but he almost died of shock and misery.

TOP GEAR TV’S BEST STIG SECTION INTROS “SOME SAY… l he has two sets of knees l his sweat can be used to clean precious metals l he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’ l that he once hacked into his own helmet l that he has to take his shoes off with an allen key, and that his new year’s resolution is to eat fewer mice l that he invented the curtain l that he sleeps inside out l he sucks the moisture from ducks … ALL WE KNOW IS HE’S CALLED THE STIG”

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HOURS IN

QUEENSTOWN WORDS: FAYE JAMES

UNLEASHED

The Southern Hemisphere’s very own Norway is just a three-hour plane ride away. Rocks uncovers the world’s finest pinot, burger joints and action aplenty in New Zealand.

hen you think of Queenstown, you might imagine holidaying with ski bums, bungee-jump enthusiasts and Lord of the Rings nutters – well at least I did. But after an action-packed 48 hours, I discovered this Nordic-like town, punctuated with awe-inspiring ski mountains and shimmering lakes, is way more than just fluffy snow and hirsute hobbits. OK, so not many proper Kiwis actually live there – it’s mainly escaped Englishmen and stray Germans chasing gap year thrills – but with so much to see and do, you can forgive the tourists-cum-students for making this slice of heaven their own. Whether you’re after adventure, be it skiing, bungee jumping, bushwalking, gondola rides, kayaking, fishing, parasailing, helicopter rides or hot air ballooning, Queenstown has it all. And if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, then the food and wine definitely will. With notable wineries staking their claim on fine pinots and sparkling wines, these rolling, Tuscan-like vineyards are fast gaining popularity for their excellent plonk and picturesque scenery. That, coupled with the high standard of cuisine, creates a winning formula for gourmet enthusiasts.

March/April 2015

Bush Adventures! BUSHMOB’S

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Bushmob is a small company based in Central Australia that works primarily with young Aboriginal young people (and families) aged between 12 and 25. Bushmob run an alcohol and drug treatment house, Bush Adventure Therapy, and an Outreach and Multimedia program. Would YOU be willing to act as a Bushmob patron? Or be willing to make financial contributions or donations? Get in touch! For more information on Bushmob and its services visit www.bushmob.com.au ratua island 183-124 demi-page_presse 26/02/2014 22:33 Page1

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UNLEASHED DAY 1 9:00

Head to the heart of the village, which sits unapologetically on the majestic Lake Wakatipu, a vast, 300m-deep waterway that actually seems endless. Crook your neck a little and you’ll see a mountain range and ski field called The Remarkables, which is, well, pretty remarkable. Famous for its terrain, it’s one of the main reasons ski-bums flock to Queenstown. Skiing is reasonably priced and, boasting three mountain bowls and six lifts over 540 acres, features good runs. It’s a bit of a mission to get up to – and proper scary in a bus, with a vertiginous drop at your wheel nuts, but more than worth the effort. Back in town, check out Fergburger where you’ll find queues of hungry punters lining up for its world famous burgers. With a melt-in-themouth pattie and crispy bun, it could easily make it onto your list of the world’s best burgers.

LAKE WAKATIPU’S TSS EARNSLAW: THE ONLY COMMERCIAL, COAL-FIRED PASSENGER STEAMSHIP LEFT IN THIS HEMISPHERE

13:00

It’s time to check out some bungee jumping, Queenstown’s very own sport. In 1988, bungee pioneers A.J. Hackett and Henry Van Asch launched the world’s first commercially operated jumping site off the historic Kawarau Bridge. With a 43-metre drop, the jump isn’t for the faint-hearted – not that diving head-first from 30 metres closer to the ground would be much safer. Don’t feel like going it solo? Don’t worry, you can be tied up and thrown off with a friend. The bridge is cloaked in mountain greenery so the view while you wait, urinating and paralysed with fear, is superb.

15:00

Some downtime is in order. Check into a suite at DoubleTree in Kawarau. Offering lakeside rooms, this recently opened luxe hotel is the perfect spot for a Queenstown weekender. Book a massage at the eforea spa, then schlep downstairs to while away a couple of hours in the lap pool and jacuzzi.

“WITH A 43-METRE DROP, KAWARAU BRIDGE BUNGEE ISN’T FOR THE TIMID – NOT THAT DIVING HEAD-FIRST FROM HALF THE HEIGHT WOULD BE SAFER”

18:00

Time to get some nosh. After an action-packed day, you can be forgiven for not wanting to mission out far. Head downstairs to the beautifully appointed Wakatipu Grill, which is perfectly situated on the shoreline, and bunk up beside the roaring fire. Gorge on scallops, chorizo, savoy cabbage, spiced apple purée, wasabi sherbet or Merino lamb rump, truffle crushed potatoes, broccolini, baby carrots, spinach and pistachio pesto. Then wash it all down with one the Grill’s fine selection of pinots on offer and try not to collapse into a food coma before you make it back to your room. You’ll need a rest to rejuvenate for the action-packed day ahead.

March/April 2015

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UNLEASHED

THE LOWDOWN

DAY 2

07:00

We flew with Qantas from Sydney, which is roughly a three-hour trip and costs approximately $350 return. You can also check out flights from Air New Zealand, Virgin Australia and Jetstar.

NOT PICTURED: HOBBITS, THE PRECIOUS, PETER JACKSON’S BARBER

STAY

09:00

We stayed at The DoubleTree by Hilton Queenstown. Formerly known as the Kawarau Hotel and managed by Hilton Worldwide, this stylish 98-room hotel is set in the heart of bustling Kawarau Village, convenient to Queenstown International Airport and just a short drive or water taxi ride from the centre. queenstowndoubletree.com

If you do happen to be a Lord of the Rings tragic, your next stop has to be at Heliworks, the official ’copter company that was contracted by Peter Jackson for aerial filming and transportation. These scenic flights have been designed by the principal filming pilots for the series and the 3.5-hour tour takes you through Queenstown, The Remarkables, Closeburn and beyond – all the way to the Ford of Bruinen. Even if you’re not a LoTR fan, the flight is worthwhile just for the aweinspiring tableaus. Or you’ve had breakfast, yes … but, as Pippin said, what about second breafast?

EAT Fergburger – one of the best burgers you’ll eat. Ever. fergburger.com Rata – posh dining at its best. ratadining.co.nz Amisfield – amazing pinot and lush cuisine. amisfield.co.nz Wakatipu Grill – stunning views onto the lake with stunning food to match. queenstownhilton.com/ restaurants/wakatipu-grill

DO Fishing unreelfishing.co.nz Bungee jumping bungy.co.nz Skiing nzski.com Helicopter rides heliworks.co.nz

Start the day nice and early with a round of fishing along the lake. The air is particularly crisp at this time in the morning so make sure you wrap up well; once the motorboat picks up speed, the icy-cold air arrives like a smack in the face. Try out unReel Fishing with hardy New Zealander, Mike Johnson (yes, a real Kiwi) onboard who will navigate you through the best trout fishing spots along Lake Wakatipu.

13.00

“WRAP UP WELL – ONCE THE MOTORBOAT PICKS UP SPEED, THE ICYCOLD AIR ARRIVES LIKE A SMACK IN THE FACE”

Or, as non-hobbits call it: lunch. Take a 15-minute drive from Queenstown to the famous rolling hills of Amisfield winery for a bite. You can stop off at the erstwhile gold town, Arrowtown, en route which is straight out of a Western movie set and ideal for touristy knick-knacks. Amisfield is reowned for its flavoursome pinots, which account for around 60 per cent of its production. Pair your pinot with the sophisticated menu of dishes, such as wild venison stroganoff or gnocchi with wild rabbit, then spend the afternoon kicking back, sipping your way through Amisfield’s delectable wines. Queenstown also does taxis.

18:00

Dinner at Queenstown’s best restaurant, Rata, will cap your weekend. Rata is owned and operated by Michelin-starred chef Josh Emett and features innovative dishes such as goat’s cheese profiteroles, rose veal carpaccio and roast pork with cauliflower, vanilla-poached apple and savoy cabbage. Depending on your postprandial appetite, a night out in Queenstown can offer anything from Bardeaux – a chic bar offering a large selection of champagnes and local pinots – to Club 88, Queenstown’s only adult entertainment club. Choose wisely. Or do both.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

WORDS: DEBORAH DICKSON

MILD HOGS Are you more fairy bread than Hell’s Angel? Fear not, there’s still time to get your motor running 42

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

unter S Thompson’s Hells Angels was written 50 years ago. It opens as Sonny Barger’s gang hauls out for the 1964 Monterey Labor Day Run, “running fast and loud on the early morning freeway, low in the saddle.” “Nobody smiles, jamming crazy through traffic and ninety miles an hour down the centre stripe, missing by inches … like Genghis Khan on an iron horse, a monster steed with a fiery anus, flat out through the eye of a beer can and up your daughter’s leg with no quarter asked and none given.” It’s publishing’s most adrenalized opening page. It’s also an advert for lunacy, perfectly pitched to sell anyone mid mid-life crisis a certain brand of bike. “Ah, these righteous dudes, they love to screw it on,” drawls HST. “Long hair in the wind, beards and bandanas flapping, earrings, armpits, chain whips, swastikas and stripped-down Harleys flashing chrome as traffic on 101 moves over, nervous, to let the formation pass like a burst of dirty thunder.” Who doesn’t want to ride a Harley? The mere thought of it brings various highway songs into my head as I picture myself, hair flying in the wind, handling every dip and corner of the road with expert precision, before perhaps pulling up at a country pub and drawing envious looks from passers-by. The Harley is an icon, and they’re cool. All sleek lines, retro styling and loud, rumbling engine; heads turn as they pass. Back in the ’60s, Harley-Davidson’s outlaw mystique drew from gang associations, but these days, with price tags starting at about $32,000, the Harley is no longer a vehicle for young rebels. Today, you’re more likely to see them being ridden by wealthy men in their mid-fifties, perhaps going through a financially rebellious mid-life crisis, illustrated embarrassingly by the mid-lifecrisis road trip movie, Wild Hogs. So if you can’t yet afford to splash out on a HarleyDavidson Road King, the next best thing would be to rent one for the weekend. Which is how we came to be here at EagleRider Australia headquarters; a group of friends; Simon, Rod, Keith and myself, all suffering serious Harley envy,

off to explore the country roads of southern NSW on rented motorcycles. I’m riding pillion, the token female, and I give them a spray worthy of Gemma Teller in Sons Of Anarchy when they snicker about my bikie moll status. We’re off. While everyone is reasonably experienced on motorbikes, no one has ridden a Harley before, so we’re nervous as we arrive at EagleRider HQ on Parramatta Road in Burwood, Sydney. Rod’s ridden since he was 10, but never a Harley, “I looked like an awestruck kid in a very expensive toy shop when I first walked in,” he says. “Harleys have always seemed intimidating to me,” says Simon. “I suppose I always thought that I didn’t have long enough hair for a Harley, or anywhere near enough black leather.” But owners Will and Santina Keith, both factory trained by Harley-Davidson in the US, assure us all that while the big steel and chrome bike is a heavy machine, it is superbly balanced and easy to ride. They will escort us on our trip, along with David Reeves, another seasoned rider. They take us through the basics of riding safely in a staggered formation. This is because, according to Will, “the vast majority of accidents with hire bikes happen when riders crash into each other”.

“HARLEY’S OUTLAW MYSTIQUE DREW FROM GANG ASSOCIATIONS, BUT WITH PRICES FROM $32,000, IT’S NO LONGER A VEHICLE FOR YOUNG REBELS” March/April 2015

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UNLEASHED

THE SEA CLIFF BRIDGE, CLIFTON. SITE OF 1000 CAR COMMERCIALS

“There’s a certain allure to Harleys you can’t explain,” says Will. “As trite as that may sound it’s true. It has to be experienced. And not just by riding around the block or going for a half hour test ride. “I see it all the time. People who have never experienced it give it a try for all kinds of reasons, but whatever the reason, there comes the day when you throw your leg over an open class road bike, flip the switch, push the button, pull the clutch, stick it in gear, twist the throttle and LET GO! “At first things are a little wobbly. You’re not really sure when to put your feet up or even where they go. Your mind is racing and things are

“I’M NOT SURE IF WE ATTRACT RESPECT, ENVY OR MIRTH AS WE FIND OUR HARLEY LEGS, BUT I SETTLE INTO MY PILLION POSITION FAIRLY QUICKLY”

happening fast. But then, after a period of time that’s different for every rider, there comes a moment where everything just is as it should be, you’re in control, you breathe out a sigh of contentment, usually without realising it. You’re not thinking about it any more. Now you’re beginning to experience “it”. Our route, over three days, takes us from Sydney through Goulburn, Oberon, Bathurst and Katoomba before heading back to Sydney on the Bells Line of Road. We set off slowly along a busy Parramatta Road, headed first for the Royal National Park and Wollongong, taking the coastal route and the magnificent Sea Cliff Bridge along the way. I’m not sure if we attract respect, envy or mirth as we find our Harley legs, but I settle into my pillion position fairly quickly and I must say it’s very comfortable, like riding in an armchair watching the scenery glide by. Bereft of swastikas or chains, I try very hard not to look too much like a fraud. The bike accelerates quickly and smoothly, with a rumble that agitates the pedestrians we pass. The faces of my riding companions show they’re feeling pretty damn pleased with themselves. Our first comfort stop is Stanwell Tops, where we pause to enjoy the ocean view and grab lunch before heading inland to wider, sweeping roads and a late afternoon stop at the country town of Burrawang. “As we rode in, you could hear window shutters slamming all down the street while panicked mothers ran out and snatched up their curious children!” gushes one of our crew at the local pub afterwards. But as we deliberate between tea or cappuccinos, the locals give each other a knowing look. The Best Western Centretown motel in Goulburn is one of that chain’s ‘Rider Friendly’ hotels, offering 10 per cent discount to members of the Harley Owners Group (HOGs), so that’s where we stay.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

“DAY ONE WAS SPENT WOBBLING IN THE CORNERS, TRYING TO SORT OUT WHERE TO BE IN THE PACK AND WHEN TO SLOW DOWN OR SPEED UP” They also supply us each with a towel to wipe down our rides. On our second day’s riding everyone is a lot more confident, and to Will Keith’s delight, able to take on the twists and turns a good deal faster. “Much of day one was spent thinking about it, wobbling in the corners, searching for a staggered formation and safe following distance, trying to sort out where to be in the pack and when to slow down or speed up,” says Will. “I am guilty of commenting at the end of the day that I had never ridden through the National Park so slow. But, as is almost always the case, straightaway on day two everyone was on their bike and away without a second thought.” Day two takes us through Oberon and Bathurst, where we do a circuit at Mt Panorama, then head east to Katoomba. We take the back roads and tourist drives all the way to the Blue Mountains, a succession of sweeping bends through

“SOME BIKIES SHOT TREV, BUT I THINK THEY WERE MOSTLY ANNOYED BY HIS SONS OF ANARCHY HOODIE”

wide green valleys intersected by creeks and sheltered gullies, dotted with cows, sheep and the odd alpaca. We arrive in Katoomba at dusk. On day three, we swap bikes around before heading home to Sydney along the Bells Line of Road. “Day three was where the magic happened,” said Will, afterwards. “As we were winding down a curvy mountain road I looked up and there spread out in front of me in a perfect staggered formation, riding the curves at speed, switching left and right smooth as silk and sticking to a line through the corners like a group of old pros were the Mild Hogs. Really sharing the adventure. “It was then I knew I didn’t need to explain. They understood.” All we righteous dudes. We love to screw it on. Flat out through the eye of the antiquing district and a nice Devonshire tea for brunch.

EAGLE RIDER’S seven-day, 1069-kilometre Country NSW Escape starts at $2591 per person and includes hotel accommodation, motorcycle rental, unlimited kilometres, fuel and oil, welcome and farewell dinners, tour leader and support vehicle. Tours are also available in Queensland out of Brisbane and Mackay. Daily (24-hour) hire starts at $204.45 for a 1200cc Sportster and $244.10 for the Road King (unlimited mileage and helmet included). MORE INFO: eaglerider.com.au The writer travelled courtesy of EagleRider Australia, Best Western and Destination NSW.

March/April 2015

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ROAD TRIPPING HEADING TO THE LAND OF CROCS, BARRA AND BUFFALO

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Profiling the West Coast’s most exciting talent from bands Axe Girl, Scalp Hunter, Boys Boys Boys! Timothy Nelson and the Infidels, The Painkillers, Mathas and Ham Jam...

INORE

March/April 2015

INORE

WORDS: BEN SMITHURST

WHEN IT COMES TO ROCK, WESTERN AUSTRALIA IS RICH IN MORE THAN JUST THE ORE-BEARING KIND. MEET WA’S BRIGHTEST UP-AND-COMING BANDS…

t’s bigger than Texas – in fact, close to four times the size – so it makes sense that Australia’s largest state has its share of world-class musicians. WA has spawned world-beating musicians from Bon Scott to John Butler, from Eskimo Joe to Jebediah, Tame Impala and The Triffids. They do politically incorrect (Kevin

Bloody Wilson), legally incorrect (Rolf Harris) and spell incorrectly (Karnivool), but bands that emerge from the West often find themselves launched onto the world stage. So what about the scene on the ground at home? “Perth has always had a pretty strong sort of pub/punk rock scene but that doesn’t mean that’s the only sort of music you get out here,” says Travis

Johnson, local music and arts editor at X-Press, Perth’s oldest street press magazine. “Venues like Mojos in North Fremantle, The Rosemount Hotel in North Perth and The Bird in Northbridge are worth visiting every night of the week. If you don’t go and see live bands, you’re doing yourself a disservice because there’s a whole ecology of really great bands there.”

March/April 2015

INORE

ADDISON AXE, FAR RIGHT: SPUNKY AND ALLITERATIVE

Genre: pop rock

Gutsy front-woman Addison Axe is a Londoner, but she met the rhythm section of WA heroes Jebediah in a pub and just “started jamming” when she was in town on a touring theatre show in 2012. “I went back to London, grabbed some stuff, sold some other stuff, and put the rest in my lovely grandma’s garage and jumped on a plane to be in Axe Girl,” the sexy-but-scary Axe told indie music mag Tomatrax. A $10K crowdfunded first album behind them, Axe Girl is “just really fun, poppy pop-rock basically,” says Johnson. “ London is so big, you don’t know people outside your own scene,” says Axe, a woman whose extensive tattooedness precludes future bank work. “It is WAY cooler in Perth. The music scene here is so unique.” axegirl.com

“NONE SHALL MAKE US WEAR SLEEVES!”

Genre: thrash punk

Formed in 2009, heavily-tattooed dark denim aficionados Scalphunter – lead by hulking frontman Steven Knoth – share their band name with a Comanche Marvel comics villain and their ferocious live show with anyone who’ll listen. Named one of Blunt magazine’s 20 bands to watch in 2014, Johnson describes the hairy, full-bore Scalphunter as: “One of the greatest punk bands Perth has seen if you like it hard and heavy. “They’re consummate musicians. They’ve also got a bit of personnel crossover with another great punk/ rock band called Chainsaw Hookers, who do a lot of horror-themed music – a lot of stuff about serial killers and Friday the 13th and all that jazz.” Note: not actual jazz. Think The Bronx, Cancer Bats and Turbonegro. And anti-corporate shoutiness. scalphunter.bandcamp.com

March/April 2015

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INORE

“PICNIC TABLES ARE SO 2014. DO YOU EVEN HIPSTER, BRO?”

“Regardless of what your preferred music genre is, I dare you go to a Boys Boys Boys! performance and tell me you didn’t have fun,” says Kane Sutton, assistant editor at Perth music news hub The Music. “If there was a prize for most fun had by band and crowd, they would have the honour stitched up,” says The Drum’s Nick Sas. With a live show employing multiple synths, synchronised dancing, tongue-in-cheek attitude and maximum energy, Boys Boys Boys! (four sweetly harmonising ladies and two, er, actual boys) have supported everyone from the imported and horrendous (Aqua and the Vengaboys) to the local and sublime (Regurgitator and Bluejuice) and played the Big Day Out, Good Vibrations and Parklife. boysboysboys.bandcamp.com

March/April 2015

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Nominated for seven gongs in the 2014 WA Music Awards, lushly coiffed 24-year-old ginger Timothy Nelson’s six-piece released its second album, Terror Terror, Hide It Hide It in August. “They’re probably the most notable band doing the rounds at the moment – they’re kind of a ’70s singer/songwriter pop band,” gushes Johnson. “Timothy Nelson is one of the greatest singer/songwriters working in WA and possibly Australia. They’re really, really good live, and are also a bit of a supergroup. One thing worth noting about the Perth scene is there’s a lot of crossover. Nelson, for example, is in The Kill Devil Hills.” Triple J described the band’s first single, ‘All The People’, as having: “An early ’90s Manchester rave influence with a hint of The Clash for good measure.” Good, then. tninfidels.bandcamp.com

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James Baker has spent a life behind drum kits as the original drummer for such legendary acts as The Scientists, The Hoodoo Gurus and The Beasts of Bourbon. But his band, The Painkillers (alongside guitar/vocalist Josh “Joe Bludge” Reynolds) has been cranking out garage rock forever. The band’s numbers have now been supplemented with two more legends – Martin P Casey (Triffids/Bad Seeds) and Richard Lane (The Stems). They’re old. But they’re great. “They’re just fantastic garage rock and they’re guys who are never going to stop doing garage rock,” says Johnson. the-painkillers.com

March/April 2015

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The best thing about Birds Of Tokyo’s Triple J Like A Version cover of Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Swimming Pools (Drank)’ – current YouTube views: more than 191,000 – was guesting Perth hip-hop MC Mathas. On the Triple J radar for several years, the lyrically adept, socially conscious Tom ‘Mathas’ Mathieson was a founding member of Perth music/art collective The Community in 2004. He was given a boost in 2013, when his song, ‘Nourishment’, swept the WAM’s Song Of The Year competition. “He’s doing incredible things at the moment – he and Timothy Nelson seem like the two most likely to break out of WA into the national scene,” says Johnson. mathas.bandcamp.com

Added to Triple J Unearthed for their single, ‘Love’, late last year – the first release off an eponymous five-track EP – skuzzy Perth garage rockers Hamjam immediately found themselves feted by no less than Rolling Stone. “There’s a sense of unrestrained freedom within [Love’s] unique merging of psych-rock, garage and punk,” gushed the music bible, “while avoiding the regular trappings of focusing solely on its differentiation.” The band, whose name is a (rubbish) portmanteau of cofounders Hamish Rahn and James Ireland’s names, claim they sound like, “garage without the door. So, carport?” That doesn’t make sense, but their EP does. Not that the pair takes making sense – or themselves – too seriously. “Nah,” Ireland told X-Press, “We’ll always be dickheads”. soundcloud.com/hhhamjam

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

SWAMP

THING Crocs, barra, buffalo and as many boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; toys as you can cram into a colossal tin shed. Welcome to Northern Territory wilderness. WORDS: MICHELLE HESPE

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

THE SPEEDBOAT cuts through the still waters of Home Billabong in the Mary River National Park, a steady spray of wake catching the sun as it sinks over the floodplains. A half-submerged buffalo raises its head from the murky water, its enormous horns casting pointed shadows. A pied heron has landed on its back to watch us passing, and the buffalo snorts. Rowan, a guide from Wildman Wilderness Lodge, slows the boat and glides smoothly into a quiet corner of the billabong. It’s a spot he keeps to himself for when he’s hankering for barramundi. “This place is teeming with them,” he grins, “but you gotta get used to the fact that sometimes the crocs get lazy and want your catch just as much as you. “Last week I lost a barra and my rod to a big old croc right here. New rod, too.” Snagging a barra is high on most visitors’ Top End bucket lists. The fishing trip is one of Wildman’s tours. If you’re around here at the right time, when the wet season has come and gone, the waters recede and what’s left is a goldmine of fat barramundi. Fellow traveller Jeff and I settle into the seat at the end of the boat. Our rods are at the ready. With the motor now silent, it’s like time has stopped. Then the sounds of the wild appear – first, the weirdly warbling whistling-ducks begin to sing, and then, gradually, the rest of the wildlife finds its voice. “There’s a croc over there – he knows we’re fishin’,” says Rowan casually, nodding towards the bank. Sure enough, a reptilian snout with a 98 million year old patent breaks the surface. Its piercing green-yellow eyes flash brightly against the deepening sunset. It’s looking straight at my rod.

March/April 2015

Photography: Anthony Ong

MAN v CROC

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

MATT WRIGHT AT THE CONTROLS

It’s not long before Jeff yelps a surprisingly girlish yelp and seizes up his rod. “I’m on!” he squeals, and a tug-o-war begins. While the water boils with the barra’s struggle, there’s a stealthy swish further afield, and the croc zeroes in. Rowan chuckles. The croc is quick. Within a few seconds of laughing and shouting, the croc appears right next to our boat – but it’s not the reptile’s day, either. The barra escapes both jaws and hook, and Jeff’s left with nothing but a dead straight rod. Rowan slaps his back. “Next time, huh? There’s always tomorrow and there’s always more barra.” We head back to the lodge, which is a long row of cabins (called ‘Habitats’) safely propped up on steel legs above the wetlands. They’re flanked by the main buildings, housing a reception, restaurant, bar and outdoor pool with a classic Aussie wooden deck. All peer out over the panoramic Mary River Wetlands, which is a mélange of iconic Australian outback bush, with spinifex, pandanus and gum trees in abundance. The bar and pool area sit squarely on a red dirt airstrip, beyond which are two rows of safari-style ‘tents’. They’re more like outback apartments with their floorboards, en-suites and roomy decks; the sort of flashpacker ‘glamping’ retreats an old school bushie would mock in company then crash in if no one was looking. The runway is for guests who arrive by small plane, and it’s also handy for those wanting to head out on a small plane or chopper adventure. Wildman Wilderness Lodge is a showcase of sustainable tourism – in an astonishingly literal way. The lodge itself was recycled from materials that once made up a resort 300 kilometres west of Cairns called Wrotham Park. When Wrotham shut up shop in 2009, it was disassembled, packed on to 18 triple road trains and driven 2800 kilometres across the Top End.

March/April 2015

FLORIDA’S EVERGLADES? NO, IT’S THE MARY RIVER WETLANDS

UNLEASHEDWA/NT After a three-course dinner seated before floor-toceiling glass windows – the Milky Way like a spray of diamonds on felt – falling asleep in your ‘Habitat’ is a cinch. A mish-mash of birdcalls, a rhythmic croaking of frogs and the steady strum of crickets chirping drifts across the plains like an outback lullaby.

UPPING THE ANTE The next day’s highway drive is a 170-kilometre run to Darwin. Wildman left behind, adrenalin and adventure is the order of the day. And there is one man in these parts whose life is a mishmash of Crocodile Dundee and the late Steve Irwin. Crocodile handler Matt Wright is known to many as the star of Nat Geo Wild’s pay TV series The Outback Wrangler. Wright grew up in a Papua New Guinean beach shack before making his way to the Territory. He’s also a chopper pilot, a wild animal relocator and a professional crocodile egg collector who was playing with snakes when most of us were discovering LEGO. Wright set up Outback Floatplane Adventures a year ago. And for those who like their big boy’s toys, crocs and getting out into real bush, then Matt’s halfand full-day tours are like nothing else in Oz. A typical day kicks off with a 40-minute floatplane flight from Darwin to his property. It’s out in the Litchfield National Park, beyond the main tourist areas, and completely off the beaten track. The only guest access is by air. The plane lands on Sweets Lagoon – which was previously home to the notorious saltwater crocodile called Sweetheart – an icon of the Territory. Fivemetres long, Sweetheart is now stuffed and on display in The Museum and Art Gallery of the Northern Territory in Darwin, but beginning in 1974 he launched a series of attacks on aluminium dinghies at a popular Darwin fishing spot. In 1979 he was caught and anaesthetised, but as his trappers struggled to haul him ashore, Sweetheart became snagged on a sunken log and drowned. Not that his throne has been empty since. Wright’s part of the world teems with big salties. Since crocodile culling was banned in the Territory in the 1970s, the croc population has boomed. There are now up to 200,000 saltwater crocodiles in the Top End, and last year there were four recorded human fatalities from attacks. After a BBQ lunch on the 13-metre custom-built luxury cruise vessel (with a heli-pad, naturally), guests are taken for a spin through the swampland channels in an Evergladesstyle fan-driven airboat. Wright’s is a custom-built vessel, driven by a 500 Horsepower turbo diesel V8. And the local alpha predators are thick on the banks. Meeting a saltwater crocodile in an enclosed park is one thing, but being able to get up close and personal with a 4.5-metre dinosaur – alongside a guide – is another thing entirely.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT BE CROCWISE: • Always obey warning signs, they are there for your protection • Only swim in safe designated areas - if there is no safe swimming sign, do not swim.

“Otis! C’mon buddy, get out here and say hello!” says Wright, who is crouched down on the riverbank. He slaps his cap on the sand and Otis’s huge head breaks the water, his eyes directly focused on the TV wrangler. Everyone in the airboat is frozen as Otis lunges at lightning speed, a prehistoric missile of teeth and potential handbags. Wright is armed – with a flimsy-looking stick – and he explains some of Otis’ habits. The saltie sits beside him, every minute or so having another go at moving in on Wright. “Eh, eh mate,” Matt chides him, tapping his snout with the stick. “You’re alright mate, they just wanna get a look at ya.” The cruise continues so that guests can meet Lumpy – a saltie with a deformation in his back. “I think he might’ve got that lump on his back while still in the egg,” explains Matt. Heat and other factors can deform the baby crocodiles, and while all-but indestructible when grown, baby crocodiles only have about a one percent chance of reaching adulthood. Female crocs lay their eggs and flood levels rise and wash away them away. It’s been hectic, but our day of croc pestering isn’t over. Guests take turns at climbing atop the barge to the heli-pad, from which Wright takes them for a spin above the outback. From the air, the region really reveals itself: plains dotted with termite mounds; winding creeks and rivers; swathes of swampland and marsh. The wetland goes on forever below skies that stretch over an ancient tableau. It’s a paradise so beautiful you feel you could eat it up. Swim too long in its waterways, lounge illadvisedly on its banks or capsize your tinnie on a barra-run and it’ll eat you right back.

March/April 2015

BOATMAN RICHARD, BARRA WHISPERER

ROUND UP Wildman Wilderness Lodge 07 5527 6860 Rydges Darwin Airport Resort 08 8920 3333

Outback Floatplane Adventures outbackfloatplanes.com.au

08 8981 4881

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conferencedestinations

WORK, REST & PLAY ATTENDING A CONFERENCE OR EXPO IS A GREAT WAY TO DEVELOP YOUR NETWORK, LEARN ABOUT THE LATEST INNOVATIONS AND SLIP IN SOME WELL-EARNED DOWNTIME. SYDNEY ROYAL EASTER SHOW MARCH 26–APRIL 8 SYDNEY OLYMPIC PARK, HOMEBUSH, NSW Roll up, roll up for the greatest show on earth! For two weeks, Sydney Olympic Park will be crammed with showbags, carnival rides, food and wine stalls, woodchopping competitions, sheep shearing, an adorably cute farmyard nursery and very smiley people. Of course, as the event is staged by the Royal Agricultural Society of New South Wales, it also provides an opportunity for Australia’s very best producers and breeders to take a bow.

WHERE TO STAY: There are four hotels on-site at Olympic Park. The Novotel is perfect if you have the kids in tow, as they stay and eat breakfast for free as long as they’re under 16. For a bit of luxury, check in to one of the King suites at the Pullman where you can stay seven nights and only pay for 2

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five. If it’s space you’re after, then an apartment at Quest with large living spaces and a fully equipped kitchen for a spot of DIY dining is your best bet. By far the most affordable option, with rooms from just $69 per night, the Ibis Budget hotel offers a comfortable sleep without the bells and whistles.

WHERE TO EAT: If the timehonoured Easter Show tradition of frankfurts covered in batter and slathered with sauce isn’t your thing, then head to Ribs and Rumps opposite the Olympic Park train station. The menu is a vegetarian’s worst nightmare, and at lunchtime, local beers and house wines are just $5 each. Other dining options at Olympic Park include Vietnamese at Lotus Story, Italian from Piccolo Roma and daytime loveliness from the oddly named Abattoir Blues deli, bar and café – all in the same little strip by the station. WHERE TO PLAY: For just $24, you can enjoy unlimited public transport for the day. That doesn’t sound too exciting; however, this is

Sydney, and that means unlimited cruising on one of the world’s most beautiful harbours. Starting out from Olympic Park, take a trip down the Parramatta River to Circular Quay, then enjoy the 30-minute ride across the harbour to Manly. Forget Bondi – Manly is half as crowded and twice as beautiful. There’s plenty of surf action, or take a walk around to Shelly Beach at the south end and watch the sea dragons sunning themselves on the rocks of this lovely sheltered little cove. Next up, grab another ferry to Watsons Bay, arriving just in time for lunch at the pub by the wharf. The beer garden, perched just metres from the sand, boasts beer that is consistently icy cold and fish and chips that are legendary. Finish the day in Darling Harbour for a spot of shopping, a visit to the Maritime Museum or Aquarium and a flutter at The Star Casino – if you pull an all-nighter, don’t miss out on breakfast at the casino complex’s Sokyo, which perfectly fuses Japanese and Australian cuisines.

Clockwise from top: Take a ferry on Sydney Harbour; the food and views are breathtaking at The Watsons Bay Hotel; surf’s up at Manly Beach.

conferencedestinations

ANZIF 2015 (THE INSTITUTE OF FORESTERS AUSTRALIA AND THE NEW ZEALAND INSTITUTE OF FORESTRY) APRIL 13–15 NOVOTEL FOREST RESORT, CRESWICK, VIC The theme for the 8th ANZIF conference will be Creating Resilient Landscapes – going beyond tenure to better forest and land use, and promises a full and varied program offering talks on all aspects of forestry in both urban and regional areas across Australia and overseas.

WHERE TO STAY: Obviously, your best bet is to book a room at the Novotel in Creswick, where the conference is being held. The aptly named Forest Resort sits on 60 hectares of state forest and boasts its own 18-hole championship golf course. All rooms offer kingsize beds, balconies and floor-toceiling windows to take advantage

of the views. Book online at novotelforestresort.com.au

WHERE TO EAT: The restaurant on site, Harvest 383, offers an innovative menu created around fresh, local fare, with most dishes citing how many kilometres the produce travelled to get from the farm to your fork. Fortunately, they are surrounded by fertile farmland so they easily make it under their self-imposed limit of 383 kilometres. If you’re after something a bit lighter, the burgers at Springs Bar & Terrace (also on site) should hit the spot. For a quick cake and coffee fix, local Creswick French bakery Le Péché Gourmand has tarts, pastries and éclairs aplenty.

stress melt away. History buffs will find plenty of interesting places in and around the gold mining town of Ballarat. One of the most popular is Sovereign Hill, an open-air museum that transports visitors back to the gold rush days of the mid-1800s. Stay around into the evening for the 90-minute light and sound extravaganza retelling the tale of the Eureka Stockade.

WHERE TO PLAY: Creswick is a short drive from both Daylesford and Ballarat. Known for the region’s 72 mineral springs, Daylesford is the place to completely unwind and relax. Book in a massage, take a stroll around the lake, visit one of the many cellar doors and feel the

Clockwise from top right: Daylesford is dotted with cellar doors; Sovereign Hill evokes the gold rush era; the Novotel has its own 18hole course; relax amongst the vines.

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conferencedestinations

MINE SITE AUTOMATION AND COMMUNICATION CONFERENCE APRIL 21–22 PULLMAN HOTEL, KING GEORGE SQUARE, BRISBANE, QLD Hear from mining experts from the likes of BHP Billiton, CRC Mining, Rio Tinto and the CSIRO on the latest innovations in automation and communication and how they will affect the future of mining in Australia.

WHERE TO STAY: The easiest option is to indulge in some 5-star luxury at the Pullman Hotel, where the conference is being held. However, being in the Brisbane CBD, there are loads of other great options. If you prefer to have a bit more room to move, Hotel Jen has a range of newly refurbished and huge executive suites close to Roma Parklands and the main CBD. 4

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WHERE TO EAT: Splash out on a feast to remember at Brisbane’s only triple-hatted restaurant, Esquire. Perched on the river’s edge, executive chef Ryan Squires’ latest venture offers a choice of two degustation menus: either seven or 15 courses of small but perfectly designed and executed plates of imaginative fare. Adjoining is his other restaurant, Esq, which offers a far more informal approach to dining. Centre stage on the menu here is the charcoal grill, which cooks Australian bay lobster with garlic and parsley or Tasmanian lamb ribs with miso and sake to perfection. WHERE TO PLAY: It would be a shame not to take advantage of being a hop, skip and a jump away from one of Australia’s favourite playgrounds: the Gold Coast. As well as the multitude of theme parks, famous beaches, non-stop nightlife and thousands of bars and restaurants, the region is home to more than 30

golf courses. If that all sounds a bit too hectic, take the 75-minute ferry trip from the city out to pristine Moreton Island. The world’s third-largest sand island is a fishing, snorkelling and generally lazing around lagoon-filled paradise.

Clockwise from top left: Fancy fare at Esq; highlife meets high rise on the Gold Coast; unwind with a spot of fishing on Fraser Island; it’s a surfers’ paradise.

conferencedestinations

HARD ROCK MINE VENTILATION 2015 APRIL 29–MAY 1 NOVOTEL PERTH LANGLEY, PERTH, WA This conference is an absolute must for mining executives looking to improve the way they deal with the issues of dust, crystalline silica and diesel particulate management. Talks will also be given on how to save money with an optimised and efficient ventilation system. Key speakers include Jaco Kok, President of the Mine Ventilation Society of Australia, and Allison Golsby, CEO at ConsultMine. Clockwise from top right: Little Creatures brewery; a craft beer tasting tray; Public House Kitchen & Bar; aerial view of Perth and the Swan River.

WHERE TO STAY: The Novotel Perth Langley offers a wide range of accommodation options, from basic rooms to apartments. Better still, it’s also home to Perth’s oldest Irish pub, Fenians, where live music and great pub grub rule the day. If you’d prefer to be right on the waterfront, book in at the Crowne Plaza – the only hotel

in Perth with balcony views of the Swan River.

WHERE TO EAT: If wine’s your thing, head straight to Perth’s best and fairest wine bar, Lalla Rookh Wine Store. Here you’ll find a huge variety of local and international wines available by the glass, ensuring a journey of discovery for your tastebuds as you match each new drop with the Italian-style morsels you’re nibbling. For something a little more hearty, Nonna’s meatballs are the real deal. If you’d prefer to treat your tastebuds to a trip to South America, then Public House Kitchen and Bar is the place to be. The food here varies from tapasstyle munchies like buttermilk bun sliders and corn on a stick with cheese and lime, to more substantial meat dishes that are cooked low and slow for maximum juiciness. Try the 18-hour pork with pork scratchings and you may decide to move here permanently.

WHERE TO PLAY: There are two main entertainment hubs in Perth. Northbridge is full of great pubs and nightclubs and attracts a younger crowd. Further south is Fremantle, home to the iconic Little Creatures brewery right on the water at Fishing Boat Harbour, as well as two other very worthy brewers The Monk and The Sail and Anchor. All three are utter purists, with a real commitment to quality beer. Grab a tasting tray and try the lot.

RegionalBusinessReview

profile

HEAD OF REGIONALLY BASED PR COMPANY, SAUCE COMMUNICATIONS, LIANE SAYER-ROBERTS IS A WOMAN ON A MISSION. SHE SPEAKS WITH RILEY PALMER ABOUT LIFE IN LEETON AND BUSINESS IN THE BUSH. When you moved to Leeton, you never intended to stay there longterm. Now, 10 years on, what keeps you there? Sometimes success comes from the most unexpected sources. We came to Leeton for my husband’s career, but we’ve stayed for mine, and the lifestyle it affords our young family. Admittedly I clock a lot of kilometres between Sauce’s various offices – but you can’t beat the two minute commute to work in Leeton, the warmth of the community and the house prices! What does the name ‘Sauce’ mean to you? On launching the business, I felt confident I could offer a niche service in the region and invested in developing a strong brand and collateral from the outset. Our Sauce ‘tomato’ logo and tagline – “We say tomato the same way as you!” – has been with us from day one and represents the fact we don’t apply a run-of-the-mill corporate approach to the work we do. I also grew up on a tomato farm, so dad likes to take credit for the brand too. Have you always been a staunch advocate for rural women? I’ve always been a strong advocate for women in general, but my passion to unlock talent in rural communities has definitely been honed by my experience building a business in the bush. Because an agency of our size and scale is unusual in a regional city, let alone a town the size of Leeton, talented women in our field regularly seek us out. So many of them have shared their

RegionalBusinessReview

delight at finding Sauce, given the limited opportunities that exist in our field in many rural locations, that I felt compelled to do something about it. I’m currently working on a model to reach and link the many thousands of rural women in marketing, PR and events. It’s my personal project outside of Sauce to shine a light on their talent, build their capacity as small business owners and connect them with each other. Throughout your career you’ve had the opportunity to interact with many strong, like-minded individuals. What have you learned from them? Some of the best advice I’ve been given is to surround yourself with incredible people, ask for help when you need it and never limit yourself or your thinking by geography or circumstance. That’s certainly been my experience too – I firmly believe anything’s possible with a good Internet connection, a great idea and the drive to bring it to life.

Fast facts • Liane is just as comfortable in Blunnies as she is in heels. In fact, her stockings hide a number of bruises incurred while playing rugby with her two boisterous boys. • According to her parents, Liane has variously aspired to be a police officer, a long haul truck driver and even an army recruit.

Your public persona is so selfassured. How do you overcome self-doubt? I’m a big believer of standing on the ledge, feeling the fear and jumping anyway. I wouldn’t have moved to Leeton or launched my own business without that mindset. Some of the most successful businesspeople I know tell me they still get nervous before public speaking or brokering a large deal, and I think that’s healthy. Complacency’s a killer in business. When I’m setting goals for my business or myself, I know that I’ve set the bar high enough if I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach. What notions about rural Australia do you hope to foster in your two young boys? I hope my boys can see that rural Australia is a dynamic place to do business – it’s full of talent, innovation and opportunity. I also trust they’ll learn the value of hard work and the importance of giving back. What’s been the most rewarding project you’ve ever worked on? Partnering with the Devondale Murray Goulburn team in the launch of their $80 million Devondale Dairy Beverages Centre in Laverton [Melbourne] last year was definitely a standout. While it was a wonderful to be a part of such a high profile event, the real reward lay in appreciating the centre as the most significant dairy asset built in Australia in 15 years. It’s the backbone of a milk supply contract with Coles that will benefit Murray Goulburn’s dairy farmers for the next decade.

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RegionalBusinessReview

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4. Product: Tivoli Audio PAL+ Portable FM/DAB+ Radio, Price: $399, Website: tivoliaudio.com.au Weighing less than a kilogram, Tivoli Audio’s weather-resistant PAL+ is the stylish answer to portable audio. With a rechargeable battery, a clear display with an adjustable backlight, DAB, DAB+, DMB and FM RDS reception and awardwinning audio circuitry – the PAL+ is perfect for travel, a day at the beach or even just lazing in the backyard.

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7. Product: SensoGlove, Price: $104.75, Website: sensoglove.com Impress your mates with the sudden perfection of your golf swing. The world’s first digital golf glove, SensoGlove provides real-time audio and visual feedback to notify you if your grip pressure is less than optimal. Helping you avoid bad habits and injury, SensoGlove acts as your personal trainer on the green. 8. Product: Wireless Aluminum Keypad, Price: $64.70, Website: newertech.com/keypad Seamlessly matching the texture, colour and style of Apple’s much-loved wireless keyboard, NewerTechnology’s 28-key numeric keypad brings back the convenience of all your sorely missed buttons without forcing you to compromise on Apple’s sleek, cordless design. 9. Product: Darche Air Volution™ AT-4 Person Tent, Price: $899, Website: darche.com.au Even the least adept tinkers will be able to construct an AT-4 Air-Volution™ tent. Durable air poles that inflate in less than one minute replace traditional poles – ensuring your time is spent relaxing in the wilderness instead of arguing over an instruction manual. 10. Product: OM Up & Running Kit, Price: Pre-order $234.29, Website: omsignal.com OMsignal is leading the way in wearable technology with a range of exercise clothing containing biometric sensors that measure performance. Touted as a potential tool for people with health concerns (such as epilepsy), these smartshirts collect data on a separate module that provides feedback to a smartphone app, which then connects with the Cloud.

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agribusiness

We bring you the latest news, innovations and opinions as Aussie agribusiness transitions from the mining boom to the dining boom

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THE

WORDS: RILEY PALMER

FUTURE OF FOOD DAN BARBER HAS SPENT A DECADE EXPLORING FOOD PRODUCTION THAT ACTIVELY EMBRACES THE DIVERSITY AND ABUNDANCE OF OUR LAND. HE SHARES HIS INSIGHTS ON THE FUTURE OF SUSTAINABLE AND DELICIOUS FOOD. 18

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If you have your own herb garden, shop locally, and prefer grass-fed meat to its corn-fed counterpart, chances are you’re very aware of provenance and the philosophy behind the farm-to-table movement. Over the past decade, revered chef Dan Barber, has realised that we – the consumers – dictate what is produced and, when rendering our perception of farm-to-table as being sustainable, are somewhat erroneous. “Farm-to-table allows us to cherry-pick the ingredients we most want for dinner – whether it’s a perfect heirloom tomato, or a grass-fed steak – without supporting the long-term productivity of the land,” explains Dan. “It’s a way of eating that’s extractive.” Executive chef of Blue Hill in New York City and Blue Hill Stone Barns in Tarrytown, Dan is setting out to redefine good food, and good food production. To convey the past, present and future of food, he developed ‘three plates’, each one representing the ‘classic steak dinner’ and its transformation over time. “The first plate has a large piece of prime-cut, cornfed meat, paired with a few vegetables,” says Dan, describing the meat and three-veg staple of our grandparents’ generation. “The second plate represents the ideals of the modern farm-totable movement. The meat is grass-fed and the vegetables are local and organic, but the second plate looks nearly identical to the first. The provenance of ingredients may have improved, but the architecture of our diets is the same.” It’s difficult to imagine a balanced and nutritious steak meal looking significantly different, but Dan’s third plate does just that. “In the third plate, the steak dinner of the future, a carrot ‘steak’ dominates the plate, with a sauce of braised second cuts of meat.” The challenge of not only envisioning, but also finding Dan’s ‘third plate’ appealing, likely comes from being so accustomed to the first and second plates. And, given consumers are the driving force behind food production, creating a culture that connects agriculture with food is as much our responsibility as that of farmers, cooks and policy makers. Currently, society is focusing on mass production and genetically modified produce

– a perceived solution to global food shortage. However, as Dan says; “It’s impossible to overstate the deleterious effects of mass production on our health and our communities. By removing any human connection, we have stripped the culture from food and cooking.” Brought about by a system reliant on fossil fuels, agriculture has undergone more changes in the past century than it has in the last 10,000 years. Citing anthropologist Ernest Schusky, Dan says; “Previously, farmers were able to produce 10 calories for every calorie of energy expended. Today we expend 10 calories for every calorie produced.” Having spent 10 years travelling and researching various cultures that still live symbiotically with nature, Dan has walked away with some unique insights into the relationship between soil health and cuisine, the abundance of what our land can provide and the benefits of ethical farming. He believes this style of eating – the third plate – could solve our current problems with energy-efficient production and food shortage. “The great cuisines of the world celebrate biodiversity, variety and an abundance rooted in what the land can provide.” One of Dan’s most memorable culinary experiences took place in a community in southern Spain, whose agriculture is entrenched in the dehesa system – a 2000-yearold agrosilvopastoral system linking production and nature conservation. “I met a farmer who is using the dehesa system to produce the world’s first ‘ethical foie gras’,” says Dan. “Every fall, when the temperature drops, his geese naturally gorge on the abundance of the land to prepare for the winter. So he’s able to harvest their livers without any force-feeding. The foie gras is unlike anything I’ve ever tasted.” In his most recent book: The Third Plate: Field Notes on the Future of Food, Dan studies the principles that underpin systems like the dehesa – from the ethics concerning the health of the land, to farming that’s supported by the local cuisine. A model of eating that’s as sustainable as it is scrumptious, Dan says; “For me, the third plate is a new and sustainable paradigm of eating for the future.”

Fast facts • Five major components make up dehesas; oak trees, grasslands, crops, livestock and wildlife. • Genetically modified crops have been grown commercially since 1996.

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agribusiness

WORDS: RILEY PALMER

Well-oiled machines Australia’s ‘dining boom’ is moving into a golden age. We examine the latest and greatest in agriculture machinery, to help you make the most of the industry’s greener pastures. KUHN GROUP wants to be Australia’s go-to manufacturer of agricultural machinery. It may seem like an ambitious goal, but Kuhn has been a market leader in machinery since 1828, and this French company turned global enterprise set the wheels in motion in 2010, when it established its Australian headquarters in Victoria. This, in conjunction with its thriving operations in more than 80 countries worldwide, makes its objective far more conceivable. Proving its success is not simply due to market saturation, last year Kuhn Group won two technical innovation awards at EIMA (International Agricultural and Gardening Machinery Exhibition) – a biennial event

showcasing the industry’s latest in agricultural machinery and equipment. The event, which was held in Bologna, Italy, attracted a record 1800 exhibitors, rendering Kuhn’s dual win noteworthy, to say the least. The two pieces of machinery that garnered particular attention were Kuhn’s Axis H EMC + AXMAT (an advanced fertiliser distributing system), and its LSB 1290 iD (intelligent density) TWINPACTplunger system (a high-density baler).

The new technologies will have a positive financial impact on Australia’s agriculture sector – both directly through cutting costs, and indirectly, thanks to increasing overall speed and efficiency. AXMAT is the first system in the world to utilise a microwave sensor to fully automate the measurement and distribution of fertiliser. This reduces emissions and costs – a rare feat. To simplify an extremely technical

The new technologies will have a positive financial impact on Australia’s agriculture sector. RegionalBusinessReview

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Fast facts • According to the ABS, 2012-13 saw a three per cent increase to the previous financial year’s gross value of total Australian agricultural production, bringing it to a total of $48 billion. • In 1828, Joseph Kuhn established himself as a specialist in the production of scales and weighing apparatus. In 1864, Kuhn expanded into agricultural machinery production following the opening of the Paris-Strasbourg railway line. Today Kuhn Group produces 65,000 machines annually and employs 4500 staff worldwide.

Agrifood exports that require fertiliser (such as grains, cotton, vegetables, fruit and rice) amass a total of $15.5 billion each year. process, Kuhn’s Axis H EMC + AXMAT combines its previous Axis range of fertiliser distributors with AXMAT – microwave sensors that are mounted on the swinging arm of the fertiliser spreader disc. The addition of AXMAT means fertiliser distribution is continually monitored so that, if necessary, it can be automatically readjusted from the vehicle’s existing control box. The constant feedback from this technology ensures precision in the transverse distribution of fertiliser – even if the grain size or type of fertiliser varies. According to a 2012-13 report by the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade entitled Trade in Primary and Manufactured Products, agrifood exports that require fertiliser (such as grains, cotton, vegetables, fruit and rice) amass a total of $15.5 billion each year. This

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gives AXMAT’s increased production capacity and reduced costs the potential to have an impact beyond the individual farmer and on the country’s economy at large. Bringing about a decrease in emissions, the overall cost of fertilisation and amount of manual labour, AXMAT gives Kuhn Group a head start on its claim to Australia’s cash crop machinery market. Its second award-winning technical innovation – the LSB iD TWINPACTplunger system, similarly highlights the company’s place in the progression of Australia’s agriculture sector. The LSB iD can compress bales up to 25 per cent denser than those made with a large square baler – a technology that facilitates a more efficient transportation and handling of crops. In order to increase the density of the bales to this extent, Kuhn had to develop a compression system with

twice the force of a conventional baler. As such, the TWINPACT-plunger was designed with an upper and lower segment, enabling the compression of bales in two steps. This division of force ensures transmission stress and power absorption rates are kept within safe levels. Speaking with Fairfax journalist Sally Cripps, Kuhn area sales manager Vincent Arnould describes this innovation as ‘very simple’, but one that nonetheless has won Kuhn much recognition. But the Australian market will have to wait a little longer. According to area sales manager Sarah Govier, “... neither product is ready for introduction into the Australian market as yet. The Axis H EMC is currently available in Australia, however the AXMAT feature will not be available until late 2016/2017.” She adds: “We would not expect to see the LSB iD machine until 2017 in Australia.”

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OVERVIEW OF THE AUSTRALIAN WATER MARKETS Waterfind is Australia’s leading water trading organisation that facilitates the buying and selling of permanent and temporary water across all major irrigation regions in Australia. Since its foundation in 2003, Waterfind has been pivotal in the development and maturing of Australian water trading markets. Their system provides their clients with access to live water markets, where users can compare prices and volumes available for trade online. For more information on water trading opportunities or to secure your water requirements for the next irrigation season please contact Waterfind’s dedicated and experienced water brokers on 1800 890 285.

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Water Use for Irrigation (MDB)

Gross Value of Irrigated Production

1/ 12

2/ 13 20 1

20 1

0/ 11 20 1

3/ 04 20 04 /0 5 20 05 /0 6 20 06 /0 7 20 07 /0 8 20 08 /0 9 20 09 /1 0

2/ 03

20 0

1/ 02

20 0

0/ 01

Gross Value of Irrigated Production | AUD$Millions

Water Use & Gross Value of Irrigated Agriculture – Murray Darling Basin 2000-2013

20 0

Right: Australia is above the pre drought GDP, using 20 per cent less water.

widely utilised by the agriculture sector to manage risks associated with climate change, maintain or increase agricultural production and gain capital from surplus water allocations. Permanent water trading allows larger farms with irrigated sugar, cotton or rice crops to secure water that they require for daily operations. As an extension of the Spot Market, the Forward Market enables the contracting of surface and groundwater parcels at a set price to be delivered at a future date. This advancement in water trading was conceptualised by Waterfind in 2014 and, at the time of introduction, was the first Forward Market for water in the world. The Forward Market enables buyers and sellers to manage risk and water security months ahead of time.

ML of Water Used for Irrigation | Millions

ver the past decade the development of water markets in Australia has facilitated the ongoing growth of irrigation industries, which created resilience in the water market against droughts and more importantly aligned the interest of irrigators with the environment. Water trading in Australia operates in catchment and aquifer based markets due to the requirement for physical connection of the water between the vendor and the purchaser. There is the capacity for water trading in all states and territories, however the level of maturity of the markets varies. Water market policy and systems commenced development during the 1990’s and early 2000’s but trading was still of a relatively small scale until the first phase of the millennium drought which commenced in 2004 and continued to escalate for 10 years. Since the end of the millennium drought, water markets have remained active and are now a core part of water management in Australia. Water trading enables multiple strategies to maximise returns and minimise water supply cost and risk. For instance, temporary water trading is

Production Trend

Source: Waterfind Australia, 2014

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insidemining

Helpful insights and facinating facts about the Australian mining and resource sector RegionalBusinessReview

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news+views CONSTRUCTING TOMORROW’S INDUSTRY Forecasted to amount to $228 billion in 2014–15 by the Australian Construction Industry Forum (ACIF), Australia’s construction sector is the largest per capita in the southern hemisphere. While this figure is slightly down on the previous biannual forecast, overall it seems there is a disproportionate sense of panic in relation to the mining sector’s impact on machinery required for large-scale construction projects. Executive director of ACIF Peter Barda indicates that, “... there are winners and losers in those big numbers – by regions and work types.” While Australia’s falling commodity prices continue to incite a decrease in investment in supporting infrastructure, one of these ‘losers’ is inevitably the mining sector. That said, ACIF recognises the impact of ongoing projects – such as the port expansion of the Pilbara and the Wheatstone Project, a gas megaproject – contributing to the expectation that expenditure will remain above historic levels for the next decade. Combined with the expected increase in levels of commercial construction, particularly in infrastructure to support the predicted increase in the construction of transport, telecommunications, health and aged care, accommodation and entertainment, the flurry of economic panic surrounding mining and construction machinery seems somewhat sensationalised.

RAGING AGAINST RANGER With its 40-year mining licence ending in January 2021, uranium miner Energy Resources of Australia (ERA) is at a juncture – uncertain whether or not to progress with its underground mine proposal at Ranger 3 Deeps. Located in the World Heritage-listed Kakadu

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National Park, the Ranger uranium mine has a long and contentious history stemming back to a Parliamentary act in 1977 that allowed mining to go ahead without the consent of the indigenous Mirarr people. Having had more than 150 leaks, spills and licence breaches since it began operations in 1981 – one of the worst

in Australia’s history occurring fairly recently in December 2013 – activists believe the environmental concerns relating to the mine site are reason enough to discontinue operations. In conjunction with the depressed profit margin of uranium exports following the 2011 Fukushima disaster, the implementation of aggressive spending RegionalBusinessReview

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cuts by Rio Tinto (ERA’s largest shareholder), and the limited time remaining on ERA’s mining licence, it’s not altogether surprising that they are weighing up 3 Deeps’ viability.

SAFETY ADDICTS Fortescue Metals Group (FMG) teamed up with the Western Australia Police late last year in order to combat what company executive Richard Kinnane referred to as ‘a bit of a drug problem’ within the mining community. Kinnane’s comments followed the discovery of $25,000, scales and methamphetamine in a 31-year-old contractor’s lodgings

at FMG’s Hamilton Village in South Hedland last October. Drug use is a significant safety concern in an industry that relies so greatly on the focus of commitment of its employees to prevent injury or death. In order to both support their employees and reduce risk on their sites, FMG have introduced a program called ‘Speak Up’ – allowing workers to admit to a drug problem without the fear of being made redundant. In December last year around 300 FMG employees were searched by a drug sniffer dog upon arriving at the company’s site airport in the Pilbara. While the enduring impact upon the

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The ability to leverage global resources also means that Henkel can expand its offerings of value added services for customers. These services include testing and validation, education for suppliers in the fundamentals of products, automated systems for more efficient applications as well as providing customers with analysis and recommendations for process improvements. “We want our customers to see us as their total solution provider,” explains Technical Service Engineer, Ladi Singh. For more information, please contact Henkel Technical Hotline on 1300 885 556 or visit henkel.com.au.

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Henkel’s Technical Customer Service (TCS) team for General Industry Adhesives (AG) in Australia and New Zealand (ANZ) leverages synergies across the globe as an integrated part of a global AG TCS organisation. “Being global not only means sharing products or expanding our business geographically. It means that we share best practices and processes,” explains Joerg Raichle, Chairman of Adhesive Technologies for ANZ. A global AG TCS organisation provides Henkel’s local TCS teams with access to dedicated resources and global industry experts, allowing the teams to build stronger expertise in key growth segments. This means team members are able to build their expertise in markets and segments that may have very complex requirements, such as medical research. For Maintenance, Repair and Overhaul (MRO) Technical Specialist, Siva Ayadurai, it means that the TCS team can dedicate resources to studying trends in each segment, and work proactively to develop the best products and services for local customers. “We’re dedicated to customer excellence, which we achieve by improving our customers’ operations through access to the most effective and efficient global best practices and technologies available,” he said.

broader industry is still unknown, spokespeople from the mining sector, police force and broader community alike have all welcomed the targeting of prohibited drugs – particularly in the context of complex equipment, peer reliance and remote locations.

FREE TRADE DISAGREEMENT The China-Australia free trade agreement (FTA) is being flaunted as Australia’s economic saving grace, however members of the mining industry are not yet convinced of its unequivocal benefits. While there are reasons to celebrate the removal of tariffs on alumina, zinc, nickel, copper, uranium, and eventually coal, there are also concerns regarding Australia’s depressed employment figures in light of Chinese companies being allowed to provide their own employees when there is a skills shortage. Of course, the parameter of a ‘skills shortage’ is one that is largely intangible, making both miners and their union advocates justifiably nervous. In response to these labour concessions, and in the context of the mining downturn and significant job losses experienced throughout the sector, industry advocates are calling on the Federal Government to introduce stronger protections for Australian workers. Unions from various sectors have addressed the government in a letter demanding greater job security, which at this date, includes signatories from the Australian Council of Trade Unions, Australian Manufacturing Workers Union, Construction Forestry Mining and Energy Union, National Union of Workers, Australian Workers Union, Textile Clothing and Footwear Union of Australia, United Voice, Transport Workers Union and the Rail Tram and Bus Union. Under the current provisions of the FTA, Chinese companies will be able to bring in employees on three-month skilled visas – a sticking point for the unions who argue that the economic benefits of the FTA will be negated if the profits go back to China.

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MOBILISING AN INDUSTRY NOT-FOR-PROFIT ORGANISATION, THE CRANE INDUSTRY COUNCIL OF AUSTRALIA (CICA) PROVIDES A RARE SNAPSHOT OF THE PITFALLS AND SUCCESSES CURRENTLY EXPERIENCED THROUGHOUT THE SECTOR. WORDS: RILEY PALMER

IN MAY of last year, the Crane Industry Council of Australia (CICA) Board, in conjunction with the CICA NSW branch, embarked on a research project into the ‘State of the Industry’. Helmed by independent researcher Stuart Anderson, who CICA CEO Brandon Hitch referred to as “a walking encyclopaedia on cranes”, this ongoing project is exploring CICA’s consistent member feedback

regarding the erosion of profitability for crane owners, operators and manufacturers concerned. Having interviewed various crane owners and users in both NSW and Victoria, Anderson presented the preliminary findings of this report at the 2014 CICA Conference in September last year. His findings consolidate industry concerns around declining investment in mining machinery in an industry

affected by decentralised governance and the burden of red tape. Hitch chats to Regional Business Review about the significance of his research, and shares the latest in innovation in the crane industry. Why is profitability so elusive for crane owners? A lot of the costs associated with owning a crane aren’t related to crane work itself.

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Fast fact • Australian engineer Dave Francis developed the first Franna crane in 1980. The name Franna stands for ‘Francis and Anna’ – his surname combined with the name of his daughter.

This includes things like traffic and access permits, or dealing with councils and local governments who frequently have different stipulations on what they need for traffic management systems. Additionally, a lot of crane companies absorb in their overheads things that they should probably be charging for, like lift studies and transport costs. At some point the chickens come home to roost, so to speak, and the question becomes the viability of the crane company, and what corners are being cut to make payroll.

Do we need more legislation to uniformly regulate things like Stamp Duty? Or would a more industry-led system with less government intervention be more suitable? The ‘State of the Industry’ report highlights there is excess burden in terms of paperwork and over-thetop red tape in the industry, so I would not be advocating additional regulations for the crane industry. I would advocate, that where CICA is not allowed to self-regulate, that there be harmonisation across state

A lot of crane companies absorb in their overheads things that they should probably be charging for. 34

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policies – certainly Stamp Duty, road accesses and permits are some examples of where there is inconsistency between states. This has the consequence of driving people and industry into certain states, and out of others. How effective are current crane safety regulations? Compliance with Australian Regulations and Standards requires crane owners in the industry to do annual inspections. CraneSafe, which was devised by CICA as an industry-led and regulated safety system, is probably the most prolific of the annual inspections. It has been significant in driving day-today improvements in the operational state and upkeep of cranes. There is also a major inspection, which is typically undertaken at

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10-year intervals to measure the crane’s remaining design life, based on its usage. Based on ‘State of the Industry’, 10 per cent admitted to doing a ‘quickie’ major inspection. However, given this inspection relates to longevity of the machine more than safety in and of itself, this figure is more reflective of red-tape than safety. With a predicted increase in residential and non-residential construction, what changes do you foresee for the crane industry? In the past few years there’s been a focus in the mining states – whereas, certainly this year, Sydney is looking pretty optimistic for significant

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construction work. I don’t know if the type of equipment will be changing so much because a lot of the fleets are currently quite diverse. However, if the work is residential, there may be more utilisation of tower cranes – a sector that’s currently more in demand than in the past. How are environmental concerns bringing about changes to machinery? The crane industry is certainly impacted by the Tier 4–5 emission requirements, so manufacturers have been investigating ways to reduce emissions while working within existing regulations and weight restrictions. For instance,

Fast fact • Based on data collated by the Government of Western Australia’s WorkSafe department, the occupations that experience the most crane-related injuries, in order of magnitude, are: crane, hoist or lift operators; crane chasers; fitters and construction riggers. manufacturers like Manitowoc, Terex and Liebherr are investigating pollution reduction through developing single-engine models. Manitowoc is also using a hybridhydro engine power plant on its

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GMK6400. It has been developed with hydrostat wheel hubs that propel the crane at up to 20km/h, at which point a smaller diesel engine takes over. What are some of the industry’s up-and-coming technologies? Manitowoc is currently working on the production of synthetic hoist ropes, which is particularly exciting because of the weight savings the ropes provide. If weight can be saved getting the crane to site, it helps with the cost of permits – so not carrying around a heavier winch with a steel-wire rope is an advantage. Once at the site, the crane’s weight also has an impact on things like ground conditions

Once at the site, the crane’s weight also has an impact on things like ground conditions and loads. and loads, so this innovation has a lot of potential. However, I think this is a bit of an interim step in Manitowoc’s overall plan to design a crane specifically for synthetic rope. Another breakthrough innovation is Terex’s newest Franna model cranes: the AT-20 and MAC25-4. These cranes have been designed with side-slope deration calculated into their load-lifting

capacity, and that’s something that was previously left to the operator to manually compute. This innovation should have a direct impact on site safety as well as the mobility of the crane with the load, which is particularly exciting given it’s in relation to articulated mobile cranes, the most commonly used cranes throughout Australia. RegionalBusinessReview

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sk many Australians to describe prefabricated homes and it’s likely they’ll come up with just two ideas: kit homes and log cabins. Back in the 1970s both of these concepts seemed like fine ideas, particularly for a weekender, but not the type of abode most would choose to build as their primary residence these days. Thankfully, there have been major improvements in recent times, and prefabricated housing is now at the forefront of the building industry’s next generation. At the moment, about $4.6 billion per annum is spent on the prefab housing sector, with this figure expected to rise by about five per cent each year for the next decade. The reasons are simple. “Whether you’re building a one-bedroom love shack or a very large, high-end primary residence, the process is very simple,” explains architect Ramon Pleysier of architecture and interior design firm Pleysier Perkins. For the past eight years, his firm has been working with Prebuilt, a Melbourne-based company responsible for the building and installation of more than 300 homes – with budgets ranging from $200,000 to $3 million – since its inception in 2002. “Since we’ve been working with Prebuilt,” continues Pleysier, “we’ve been able to formulate the most efficient working model possible. We now have a very logical way of working with projects of any size.”

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For a client the steps are simple; first, they collaborate with the architect on design. Prebuilt has four pre-designed modules that can be individualised or used as a starting point; alternatively, there’s the option of a customised solution. Once a design is agreed upon, the house is modelled, right down to the cladding types and paint colours. For the average person looking to build a home this is where the benefits of prefabrication become very obvious. “It’s a really precise approach to delivering a product,” says Prebuilt managing director Rob Colquhoun. Full approval at the modelling stage means an accurate budget can be presented and, with all homes built in the Melbourne factory,

there are no delays due to bad weather or overextended tradesmen. “A lot of the houses we’re delivering to Sydney are constructed in the factory in 12 weeks, but would take a year or so to build on site,” explains Colquhoun. “That also helps with budget because you’re not having to finance the project for extended lengths of time when you can’t live in it.” The worst-case scenario, says Colquhoun, is the budget would be the same as that for a house built completely on site: “Normally the higher quality or more complex the project, the more cost savings can be obtained.” For more information, visit prebuilt. com.au or call 1300 734 544 to make an appointment.

“A lot of the houses are constructed in the factory in 12 weeks.”

A HOUSE BY THE SEA Making the most of the spectacular view was of prime importance when Prebuilt constructed a three-bedroom home high on a hill at Inverloch in Victoria. “But we also needed to achieve a balance with the lightweight aesthetic, and did that with contrasting rammed earth that acts as a plinth,” says Ramon Pleysier. The fully customised design has many individual features – a glass link from garage to house, built-in seating under windows, a view from the en-suite through the bedroom and a fireplace – all of which was constructed in Prebuilt’s factory during a period of 12 weeks, during which time the owners visited to follow progress on their brand new home.

Pipelines, trenching and mine services. Reay Services Group are the contractor of choice for the installation of pipelines and ancillary equipment, as well as the hire of trenching and excavation equipment, in the mining, gas, water and mineral processing industries across Australasia. Our record for safety, quality, professionalism and expertise is what sets us apart from the rest. For more info visit reaygroup.com.au or contact us at Head Office: o7 4951 2933 or email: admin@reaygroup.com.au 10 Campion Drive, East Arm, Darwin 0828

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LOGISTICAL

LIAISONS AMID THE BELT TIGHTENING THAT IS GOING ON THROUGHOUT AUSTRALIA’S RESOURCE SECTOR, INVESTMENT IN LOGISTICAL SOLUTIONS AND EFFICIENCY MEASURES HAS BEEN LARGELY UNDIMINISHED AS WE LEARN TO MINE SMARTER. WORDS: RILEY PALMER

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iven the widespread panic surrounding the decline of Australia’s mining industry, it’s not surprising that mining companies’ focus on logistics and efficiency has sharpened in recent months. The sector has shifted towards a productivity model – a stark change from the quantitydriven, verging on frenzied, pace of the industry throughout the commodity boom. While the buzzwords ‘productivity’ and ‘efficiency’, are notorious among employees who work in an operational capacity – miners, site managers, and heavy vehicle operators to name but a few – they flash like beacons of opportunity for technology innovators. In fact, new technologies are a large external influence driving the upsurge of internal change taking place in resource companies across the board. According to Robert Frandsen, Managing

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Director of InfoMotion – a supply chain Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) software company – the abundance of logistics technology has made new technology much more affordable. Therefore both the hardware and software implemented to streamline processes and reduce costs have become more accessible. In an interview with the website Ferret, Frandsen says: “With the same technologies and functionalities becoming available to all, and the same opportunities for efficiency through automation, competition within the industry is about to heat up even more.” This goes some way to explain why the resource sector’s investment in technology and innovation has been largely unaffected despite extensive costcutting throughout the industry. The approach to the development of new technology has typically required substantial investment, with the potential for returns years or even

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decades down the track. However, the demand for more immediate efficiency measures in the sector has led to the very recent inauguration of tech accelerator Unearthed, a pilot program nurturing startups that show problemsolving capacity specifically in relation to the mining industry. Launched just last month, Unearthed is dedicated to connecting new startups with industry mentors. They intend to foster these pivotal connections by hosting four ‘hackathons’ throughout the year – the first occurring this month in Perth. These events will bring together software developers, designers and industry figureheads, who, with the provision of data attained by both the government and proprietors, will be tasked with creating prototype solutions to industry problems – all within one weekend. Organised by Resource Innovation through Information Technology (RIIT), the program has already garnered

support from industry leaders including Rio Tinto, BHP Billiton, Landgate and the Australian Government Department of Industry. After participating in a Perth-based hackathon run by RIIT in May last year, Newton Labs have been announced as the first of three startups to be selected for Unearthed’s six-month pilot program. It was after liaising with industry experts at the hackathon that the members of Newton Labs conceived their prodigious idea – a monitoring system that identifies oversize boulders in hard rock mining, a problem that currently costs the industry more than $100 million each year. At its core Unearthed is the innovative facilitation of innovative invention. Justin Strharsky, member of the Unearthed Board of Directors (and bearer of various other directorial and entrepreneurial titles) says, “The event [hackathon] format lowers the barriers to experimentation and

Driving change Proving that mining logistics aren’t simply the realm of technology developers, commercial car manufacturers have recently found a new niche – light commercial vehicles that are custom-designed for the mining industry and business sector fleets. Driven by the mining boom, the Ford Ranger XL Plus – which debuted on the market in May last year – has so far been very popular with mining contractors, government departments and private buyers alike. Where the Ranger has provided increased efficiency for the mining sector is in its inclusion of factory features that have been designed to make the installation of commercial equipment more cohesive when transitioning between delivery and operation. Set to hit the market in just a few months, the 2015 Ranger model is rumoured to contain a range of new safety features that are likely to appeal to the mining industry. These include autonomous emergency brakes, high-beam headlights that automatically dip, blind spot monitoring, and a lane departure warning system. While much of Australia’s mining industry is in slowdown off the back of falling demands in commodities, the redevelopment of light commercial vehicles has demonstrated the industry’s continued investment in products and technologies that improve efficiency, safety and productivity.

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Conquer Cystic Fibrosis through research Life expectancy in Australia for people with Cystic Fibrosis (CF) in the 1960â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s was 5 years. It is now 35 years. Deaths in Australia of younger people have, thankfully declined dramatically since 1998. The six years from 1998 to 2004 saw a fall of 70% in the number of deaths of people with CF aged under 20 years.

The greatest contributing factor to this is undoubtedly research. Research leads to improvements in treatments,which in turn leads to longer, healthier lives.

There is still no cure for Cystic Fibrosis, but it is something Conquer Cystic Fibrosis Inc. intends to change.

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expedites the development of proofof-concept solutions. Essentially we’re crowdsourcing multiple potential solutions to industry challenges.” In doing so, the tech accelerator is also in the business of job creation, boosting exports and increasing industry productivity. There are various problems faced by the resources sector that would benefit from expedited technological solutions. For one thing, a more integrated flow of big data and analytics throughout the whole-of-business system is necessary to improve efficiency. The development of a cohesive and automated logistics system would mean that data need only be captured once for it to be available system-wide. “One good example is the flow of data from logistics to in-cabin telematics and GPS systems with the three systems working together to automatically optimise delivery routes while also accounting for fatigue management,” explains Frandsen. While

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big data has already been implemented to an extent, its seamless functionality is what requires a bit of work. Another problem faced by the sector – and one that has seen our government rather stymied – is the dependable accessibility of high-speed Internet connectivity. Particularly in the remote communities in which the majority of mining operations take place, the capacity for Internet is restricted and temperamental. The technologies that underpin the mining industry’s increasingly automated operations – such as collision avoidance systems and driverless trucks – are only as dependable as their connectivity to high-speed data communication. These are merely a few focus points in what is an overabundance of processes that tech solutions could revolutionise. Not without its challenges, the realm of tech innovation could prove integral to the future of mining in Australia.

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