ROCKS April 2015 by Edge In-flight Magazines

E TAKE M!

H O ME

ADVENTURE TRAVEL • EVENTS • PEOPLE • ENTERTAINMENT • SPORTS

ISSUE 17 APRIL 2015

HOBBIT HOLIDAY

AUTUMN IN QUEENSTOWN

MILD HOGS

GET YOUR HELLS ANGELS ON

‘MY HURT BRAINS’

2015 NRL PREVIEW

THOR HEADED

CHRIS HEMSWORTH ENTERS GOD MODE

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Welcome to ROCKS, the inflight magazine for Alliance Airlines Welcome aboard. We hope youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re enjoying your flight, either switching off from a busy time at work or getting yourself ready for your next stint at the mine. This magazine is created to entertain you, so sit back and enjoy the ride. This month packs a punch with cover star Chris Hemsworth at the helm talking about his latest movie Avengers: Age of Ultron and Richard Hammond revealing his zombie spider hell. Rugby league season is also coming up, so we've included our special NRL preview for this year. Travel-wise, I spent 48 hours in Queenstown road testing some of the region's best adventures to share, while Deborah Dickson took a seven-day 1069-kilometre trip around country NSW on the back of a Harley. We hope you enjoy this issue of ROCKS. Do drop us a line â&#x20AC;&#x201C; we love hearing from you! inflight@edgecustom.com.au

Scott McMillan Managing Director

Faye James and the team at ROCKS and Alliance

Queenstown, New Zealand.

GROUP EDITOR Faye James DEPUTY EDITORS Ben Smithurst, Simone Henderson-Smart ASSISTANT EDITOR Riley Palmer SENIOR DESIGNER Guy Pendlebury DESIGNER Steve Wright SUB-EDITOR Helen Eva

CONTRIBUTORS Deborah Dickson, Brian Johnston, Stephen Corby, Aaron Smith ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES Scott Hunt 02 8962 2600 scott.hunt@edgecustom.com.au

WA AND NT SALES AGENT Helen Glasson Hogan Media: 08 9381 3991 E: helen@hoganmedia.com.au PUBLISHER Geoff Campbell PRINTER SOS Print & Media

ROCKS is published by Edge 51 Whistler Street, Manly NSW 2095 Phone: 02 8962 2600 edgecustom.com.au ROCKS is published by Business Essentials (Australasia) Pty Limited (ABN 22 062 493 869), trading as Edge. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission is strictly prohibited. Opinions expressed are those of the individual contributors and not necessarily those of the Publisher. Information provided was believed to be correct at the time of publication. All reasonable efforts have been made to contact copyright holders. ROCKS cannot accept unsolicited manuscripts or photographs. If such items are sent to the magazine, they will not be returned. A selection of images used in this publication has been sourced from Thinkstock, Getty Images and Corbis.

March/April 2015

FIFO Miners & Oil & Gas employees only earning $110 — $300K.

Slash your tax — why pay more? Last few months with certainty to buy Property in your SMSF. “Super funds should be banned from borrowing”... ....ABC’s Michael Yanda 7th Dec 2014. ABC’s Editor 7.30 Report, Alan Kohler & Robert Gottliebsen co-founders Eureka Report, the two most respected names in financial reporting & Bruce Brammall from the Eureka Report agree on these three points.

1.The Murray Report to the government recommended a Banning of Super Funds to borrow. Dec 2014 2.It is unlikely that any changes would be retrospective, however rather be grandfathered, meaning if you have purchased your property prior to government legislation, then you retain your property within your SMSF with tax benefits.

3.Future arrangements of borrowing in a SMSF could be Banned altogether if the government adopts the Murray Report recommendations. For full report subscribe to: Eureka Report online, Australia’s highest standard financial editing & reporting. If the government does nothing then you have lost nothing only gained a property. If they adopt the Murray Recommendations then you have lost a massive opportunity to Save Tens of thousands in Tax. Few structures are as Tax effective as SMSF combined with Property. Do not ignore these statements. It takes eight weeks to set up your new SMSF.

Lost $ benefits of not proceeding, for a property worth $350K in your new SMSF? Lost Lost Lost Lost

Tax Deductions, $36K pa, times ten years holding property. potential Capital Growth, very hard to quantify, perhaps 5% for 10 yrs. income, that would assist pay off your property, 5% gross rental income. Tax Benefit in you pocket, based on income, $160K

$360K. $220K. $180K. $70K.

Save $3,000 to $15,000 ongoing each year by Taxation Planning or do nothing & keep paying below. Taxable Income 160K 200K 240K

Tax Payable 47,147 61,947 79,947

Medicare 2,400 3,000 3,600

Total 49,547 64,947 83,547

10 years Tax Payable 495,470 649,470 835,470

How much is needed in Super to begin a SMSF & buy a property, how much is in my super fund now & what do I need to know? Many Taxpayers have commenced their own SMSF with $80,000 or even less. A ten page Taxation Property Analysis, will be prepared, showing you deposit needed for your new property paid out of your SMSF, cost price, purchase costs, loan costs, rental income, all rental expenses, insurance, shire rates, strata levies, net return, depreciation of building & depreciation of fittings. .

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DARWIN

GROOTE EYLANDT

LAWN HILL

CAIRNS TOWNSVILLE

THE GRANITES

TREPELL PHOSPHATE HILL

KARRATHA ONSLOW

CLONCURRY

MOUNT ISA

EMERALD

TELFER

BARIMUNYA

COONDEWANNA

NEWMAN

PARABURDOO

ULURU (AYERS ROCK)

ALICE SPRINGS

GLADSTONE

BALLERA COOBER PEDY MOUNT KEITH LEINSTER

MILES

MOOMBA

PROMINENT HILL

BRISBANE

OLYMPIC DAM

LEONORA

NARRABRI

EAST JAURDI PERTH

PORT AUGUSTA

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March/April 2015

EAST COAST PILBARA DIRECT

... simply the best FIFO experience.

PROVIDING CUSTOMISED AVIATION SOLUTIONS • FIFO charter services • ACMI aircraft leasing P W

• Ad-hoc air charter flights

07 3212 1501 E sales@allianceairlines.com.au allianceairlines.com.au/charter

ABOUT US Alliance Airlines was established in 2002, recognising the growing demand from the domestic mining and energy sector for a provider of safe and reliable air transportation services to and from remote site locations. Alliance commenced operations with two Fokker 100 aircraft servicing two FIFO contracts, both of which are still serviced today. Our company has since expanded its fleet and operational capabilities to better service the continuing air transportation needs of the mining and energy sector . Alliance is a leading mining services company specialising in providing: • FIFO services • Ad hoc charter services • ACMI, or wet leasing, services. In December 2011, Alliance successfully listed on the ASX as AQZ.

FLIGHT BOOKINGS For customers wishing to book flights between Perth and Karratha, this must be done online: www.allianceairlines.com.au/home For customers wishing to book flights between Adelaide and Olympic Dam, this can be done online: www.qantas.com

OUR FLEET FOKKER F100

Number

Passengers

100

Length

35.5 metres

Wingspan

28 metres

Engines

RR Tay 650-15 Turbofans

Cruise Altitude

11,000 metres

Cruise Speed

800km/h

Range

3,167km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

FOKKER F70LR

CHARTER BOOKINGS For corporate or private charters of Alliance aircraft, the following contacts are available: www.allianceairlines.com.au/charters sales@allianceairlines.com.au 07 3212 1501

SAFETY INFORMATION Even though you may travel frequently, please familiarise yourself with the Safety On Board card located in your seat pocket.

ALCOHOL Passengers are not permitted to bring alcohol on board for in-flight consumption. On flights where Alliance offers a bar service, our flight attendants adhere to RSA guidelines.

SEAT BELTS Please observe the ‘Fasten Seat Belt’ signs when illuminated. In the interest of safety, keep your seat belt fastened at all times in case of unexpected turbulence.

CABIN BAGGAGE

Passengers should ensure that carry-on baggage does not weigh more than 7kg and fits into the overhead lockers.

Number

Passengers

Length

31 metres

Wingspan

28 metres

Engines

RR Tay 620-15 Turbofans

Cruise Altitude

11,000 metres

Cruise Speed

800km/h

Range

3,800km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

FOKKER F50

Number

Passengers

Length

25 metres

Wingspan

29 metres

Engines

2 x PW125B Turboprop

Cruise Altitude

7,800 metres

Cruise Speed

500km/h

Range

2,600km

Passenger Detail

All economy seat configuration, 33-inch seat pitch, galley, toilet, pressurised, air-conditioned

March/April 2015

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12 Chris Hemsworth speaks to ROCKS

CONTENTS THE PICK

ISSUE 17

UNLEASHED

22 EL DORADO

42 DADS OF ANARCHY

27 NRL PREVIEW

It’s Harley time.

Lessons from one Aussie’s gonzo trip to South America. How will your rugby league team go in 2015? Find out.

32 IT’S RICHARD HAMMOND!

09 INCOMING!

IN ORE

36 48 HOURS IN … QUEENSTOWN New Zealand’s hotspot offers plenty of action.

Top Gear’s coming to town.

What’s on, killer apps, great books and a painted lady.

12 CRUST

Tapas for starters and then more yum cha than you can fork a chicken’s foot at.

14 MAN + MACHINE

Want to experience full-tilt track tutoring in the bonkers new Porsche GT3? You can.

RegionalBusinessReview

Specialist section with the latest news & views from around Australia, featuring: • Inside Mining • Investment

• Agribusiness • News & Reviews March/April 2015

THE PICK

ROCKS has sniffed out the best stuff so you don’t have to. Just sit back, relax and enjoy!

E VENTS + ENTERTAINMENT + TECH + MOTORS + FOOD & DRINK

ON THE DOWNLOAD

Play, create, snap – 3 cool apps BaconBaconBacon

BYRON BAY BLUESFEST

SYDNEY COMEDY FESTIVAL

just 6000 punters over three days. Last year, it pulled more than 100,000 across five – and was declared “one of the world’s great festivals” by Rolling Stone. In 2015 they’re pulling out all the stops, headlined by The Black Keys, Lenny Kravitz and Ben Harper... plus the likes of Gary Clark Jr, Jurassic 5, Jimmy Cliff, Paul Kelly and ‘Goddamn’ George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic. Also: Train. But many bands that aren’t Train! 2-6 April, Tyagarah Tea Tree Farm, Byron Bay NSW. One-day adult tickets from $159. bluesfest.com.au

its first round of headliner announcements at full pace, trumpeting the appearance of UK pair Stephen K Amos (above; dapper) and Ross Noble (tangential), and following up with a brace of local stars: Jim Jefferies, Effie, Akmal, Ronny Chieng and Matt Okine. Perhaps the most surprising inclusion among the initial top-billers, however, is Colin Hay. Yes, the frontman from Men At Work. He’s always been a laugh between songs, and the ‘Down Under’ clip is funny, so why not? 20 April-17 May, sydneycomedyfestival.com.au

> Held in 1990, Byron’s first Bluesfest drew

> The 11th annual Sydney gigglefest started

TJUNGU FESTIVAL

> Ayers Rock Resort’s Town Square Lawns will be humming in late April with a four-day, familyfriendly celebration of culture – film, art, music, food and fashion – and sport. The jewels in the crown could be the AFL Tjungu Cup and the Tjungu Short Film Fest … although an avalanche of bush foods, from brilliant chefs, could mean you’re too full to move by then, and spend the night wedged between mulga shrubs, whimpering for Mylanta. 23-26 April, ayersrockresort.com.au

14 22

(iOS) Like Bejewelled, but wait! Instead of gems, you match pigs, and blow up vegans guarding them. Bonus pigs earn sausages and tomato sauce bombs. Although you can’t lose, which is a bit odd.

Hanx Writer

(iOS, free) Tom Hanks is an obsessive collector of typewriters. Yes, that Tom Hanks. He invented this app which makes your iPad sound and type like one. Pointless, but fun.

BaconReader

(iOS, Android, free) Reddit, aka ‘the front page of the internet’, is a glorious melange of cats, weirdness, knowledge and, er, entertaining unsavouriness. This is a beautiful featurepacked improvement on Reddit’s own viewing app.

SAY

Got s WHA ROC omething T? to you’r KS ? Is t here say abou e bur some t ning Don breat ’t mumb to see co thing le it h– ver Send tell us w under yo ed? u an em hat yo u thi r edge ail to n c k and h ustom.co rocks@ ! a m v . e a *Plea u your se be say.* kind migh – our tn f ot be

able

ragile egos to ta ke it.

March/April 2015

OUTER EDGE

BOOKS

CATASTROPHE: EUROPE GOES TO WAR 1914

SABINA KELLEY

MAX HASTINGS,

$24.99 Many war books are like watching Fox News: so partisan that you end up with skewed thinking, and believing that the Yanks alone saved the day, or overstating the role of the English (or, ahem, the Anzacs), or calling the French ‘cheese-eating surrender monkeys’. Not this one. It’s super cosmopolitan, in that it trawls through all theatres from all nations’ perspectives, at the same time sniffing at the idea of war’s ultimate utter futility – and sticking the boot into Berlin. Both ‘big picture’ and individual.

The burlesque model – and star of US tatt reality TV hit Best Ink – rejects Rocks’ clumsy advances. Sensible!

THE FREE

fter two years as a Vegas showgirl – a job that strictly banned tatts – Sabina Kelly got her first piece aged 20. Now 37, she’s one of the faces of the global scene. “Definitely a lot more people are getting tattooed, and I think a lot of them are getting them for the wrong reasons,” she says. “It’s cool, but it’s getting a little out of hand.” How so? I think that a tattoo should mean something to the person who’s getting it. But a lot of people nowadays will go to a tattoo convention and get a whole sleeve in one weekend. Absolutely crazy. Tattoos used to be for outlaws and sailors, now they’re on baristas and stay-at-home moms.

WILLIE VLAUTIN,

Has it lost its mystique? For sure. Definitely. I wouldn’t be getting tattooed if I was starting now. For me, as a female, it made me more of an individual, but now, nearly everyone has at least one small tattoo. It used to be special. Now for people to notice something it has to be shock value. Girls are getting tattooed on their faces now. Crazy stuff. Do people still prejudge you as a bad girl? Not as much, but yes. That or I drop my kids at school and other parents recognise me from TV or whatever and they’re all trying to be my best friend… What’s next in tatts? It’s becoming a lot more of an acceptable artform. I’m surprised, because I didn’t think the tattoo TV shows would still be going, but

they are. There are so many incredible artists now that it’s pushing the older artists to really step it up. Would you date a non-tattooed guy? Hmm. I think I could. I’m not particularly attracted to guys that aren’t heavily tattooed, but I would never say that I wouldn’t just because they weren’t… What if I got, ‘Sabina, will you come to the movies with me?’ tattooed on my arm? Oh, God. Please don’t. That’s creepy. But … innovative? When I was in Australia I met a girl who’d copied my entire sleeve, like one of my arms, with everything – even my kid’s name. I was shocked. Why would you do that? What does her boyfriend think of it? Haha! It was pretty strange.

$27.99 Contemporary American working life is... well, it’s a bit ordinary really, once you’re down on the breadline among the working poor. This novel, Vlautin’s fourth, is exactly that – cheerful, with crippled veterans, divorced paint salesmen, runaway addicts and careworn nurses. Sounds depressing, but it’s so brilliant and sympathetic, that you relish the little bits of hope. But you will feel the need to watch something dumb and happy after. Funniest Home Videos, anyone?

I AM ZLATAN

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC, $24.99 Swedish soccer captain Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 33, is an egomaniacal lunatic so charismatic that you forgive him for describing himself – in his bio’s first four pages – as “amazing”, “awesome” and “pretty awesome”. He writes off legendary, beloved Barca coach Pep Guardiola as a “spineless coward with no balls”, tells heroic stories about himself in the third person and clearly sees himself as a god. But, hey, he’s usually hard to argue with. More entertaining than a hundred roller-skating monkey butlers.

March/April 2015

WHERAET TO E INK & DR

FIVE OF THE BEST

YUM CHA

Trolleys full of steaming bamboo baskets containing plump dumplings and dim sum are the perfect way to start a lazy Sunday. Although yum cha means “with tea”, we all know it’s better with beer. WORDS: Simone Henderson-Smart

Gold Leaf Melbourne, VIC

No one does tacky Chinese décor better than this place, with chandeliers, tasseled lanterns, murals and massive fish tanks all conspiring to make your head spin faster than the trolleys whizzing past. It’s fast, flash and frantic dining and they do it daily. docklands.goldleafrestaurant.com

March/April 2015

Marigold Sydney, NSW

According to their website, “your heart will burst at the sight of the huge variety of dim sum on offer every day.” Let’s hope not – the only mess you want on your white linen tablecloth is a splash of soy sauce and the odd escaped prawn. marigold.com.au

Dragon Palace Perth, WA

Bamboo Basket Brisbane, QLD

Set in the heart of hip and happening Northbridge, this place really ups the razzle-dazzle casino vibe we’ve come to expect from fine Chinese establishments, with the addition of floorshows and karaoke rooms. dragonpalace.com.au

The chefs here really put on a show as they chop, roll, stuff and fold their way to dumpling bliss. Their signature dish is the Xiao Long Bao, where nestled inside the silken noodle sits both pork and soup in a yummy embrace. bamboobasket.com.au

CRUST

TOP TAPAS BARS The Spanish perfected the art of drinks and nibbles long before anyone here had ever thought of share plates and charcuterie boards. Pinxtos is Spanish for ‘spike’, and is basically bite-sized heaven on a toothpick. At Lona, similar to a sushi train, the food is brought out on large trays where you take whatever you want, keep the spikes as evidence of what’s been eaten and pay at the end. At just $3 each, you’ll get to sample plenty of different flavour combos of which there are currently 20 on offer; including deliciously crunchy croquetas with jamón and a lime basil aioli. There’s also a more substantial tapas menu and the slowbraised pork sliders (endowed with a kick of jalapeno, crackling and chipotle) are proving to be a massive hit with the locals. Drink: One of Spain’s most popular beers, Estrella Galicia, flows from the taps and is the perfect accompaniment to the nicely salty snacks. lona.com.au

Spice Temple Melbourne, VIC The fact that this place in the Crown Casino complex is owned by food guru Neil Perry makes it a risk-free, odds on winner. Sure it’s not the cheapest option around, and it’s more of an order from the menu rather than a trolley and stamps affair, but the yum cha here is the absolute best in Australia. Fact. rockpool.com

ANDALUZ BAR AND TAPAS Perth City

THE SANGRIA BAR AT OLÉ South Bank, Brisbane

LONA PINXTOS BAR St Kilda, Melbourne

Andaluz reeks of decadence and opulence. It’s all leather and velvet vintage, with dim light casting a soft romantic glow from strategically placed lamps and candles. The perfect spot for a late night date, it’s not just the décor that has the regulars swooning. The menu circles Spanish tradition like a bullfighter, giving tapas full respect, but throwing enough modern twists at it to keep a bit of a distance. Cheese lovers are certainly not ignored, with a choice of three cheeses (blue, goats and brie) served at room temperature and paired with caramelised onion chutney and crisp apple and house-made crackers — perfect for either a light lunch or a late supper. Drink: A sophisticated place like this requires a classy drink. If you’ve got a lazy $1850 lying around, by all means indulge in a bottle of Krug champagne, but the best bet is to work your way down their lovely, lengthy cocktail list. andaluzbar.com.au If you’re up for a full-on fiesta, say hola to this place. The long timber tables are just perfect for filling with friends and the bigger the group, the more morsels you’ll get to taste, so bring a crowd. The tapas here run the full gamut, from bite-sized bocaditos, via freshly sliced jamón to the larger raciones or share plates and lands finally in an assortment of enormous bowls of paella. Make it to the end and you’ll be thankful your mates were there to help you. Drink: Toast your teamwork with large icy jugs of Sangria. Far from the usual red wine and sliced citrus affair, Olé has seven different versions available. For a tropical twist try the Sangria Colada, comprising crisp white wine, coconut rum and pineapple juice topped with fresh mint and spicy ginger beer. olerestaurant.com.au March/April 2015

DIAL

911!

■ WORDS: Stephen Corby

TRACK ATTACK

There’s advanced driver training – and then there’s full-on race tutoring in an almost $300K track weapon: the new Porsche GT3

ealising what an entirely ordinary, scaredy-kitten of a driver you are is a deeply humbling and slightly mortifying moment indeed. I’m sitting in front of a laptop displaying the data from a series of laps I’ve just done at Queensland Raceway as part of a Porsche Sport Driving School course with instructor, and champion racer, Craig Baird next to me. Earlier in the day, Baird had flung me around the track, showing me how it’s done with the kind of effortlessness that just gives you the irrits, and the trace line of his lap was now being overlaid with mine by his race engineer. His very patient and understanding race engineer. The squiggly lines clearly show that I’m slower, and that I’m braking a bit earlier at the end of the straight, before tackling the

high-speed Turn One, than he is. Naively I ask what the difference is “about five, 10 metres is it?” The engineer gives me a deeply amused look. “Well, let’s just have a look shall we? I think you might be a bit shocked.” The difference, it turns out, is 65m. I’m getting on the brakes more than half a football field before Baird, which at least partly explains why his top speed is 208km/h, and mine is somewhere under 180km/h. It’s not so much a gap as a yawning chasm, into which my pride just fell. This is the Level 4, or “Master”, course, which means there’s still some time to climb out because we’ll get three more 10-lap stints over the day (the instructors watch these from the pit wall and shout into the ear pieces in your helmet via radio, because they’re not silly enough to be in the car once the

MAN + MACHINE

PORSCHE SPORT DRIVING SCHOOL The school is run by former V8 RACING LEGEND THOMAS MEZERA. He’s a gun. Note that you need to progress through each level to qualify for the next one.

LEVEL 1 - $1397

students start frenetically trying to push themselves). After each session you’re dragged straight back into the classroom with your engineer for another look at your data, which quite simply leaves no place to hide. What they want from you is consistency, which will equal gradual improvement, apparently. What I want is to cut 10 seconds from my lap time. It’s an exciting day, and one that’s incredibly popular with paying punters, some of whom attend every year, and sometimes more than once, but it’s also frustrating. Surely you’ve got the same limbs and appendages as Craig Baird, and you know the car – the brand new ultimate Porsche track weapon, a $293,600 GT3 with 350kW and a 0-to-100km/h time of 3.5 seconds – can do it, because you sat there and watched it happen. So why can’t you do what they do? Well, obviously, the size of their balls, or the lack of operational fear circuits in their brains, is a big difference. They go deeper and faster into corners because they’re not afraid like you are. But the other yawning gulf is in talent and skill. Keeping a car level through a corner, which stops it from pitching or rolling and costing you grip, and time, is all about being smooth. Sure, you hit the brakes hard, but how you come off them is just as important; lift off too sharply and all the weight comes off the nose and understeer is on the cards. The GT3 is so fiendishly well engineered (Baird says even racers leave the traction control on in these cars, because it’s so clever), of

course, that it will make you look and feel good, even if you are ham footed. To really gain time, though, you have to change the way you drive, while also doing your best to flatten your fear. The engineers talk a lot about your minimal corner speed – the very slowest point of a bend. How much pace you’re carrying at this point makes all the difference, and through the fast, frightening first turn Baird holds at least 130km/h, while my first run was almost 40km/h slower. The instruction here is so good and so specific that you really can’t fail to get better. I manage to match the 130km/h figure on one

“THE INSTRUCTION IS SO GOOD, SO SPECIFIC, THAT YOU CAN’T FAIL TO IMPROVE” particularly brave, dry-mouthed lap, even though I’m still braking too early. Over the day I manage to cut seven seconds off my time, which still leaves me a vast three seconds behind the professional steerer. The sense of satisfaction is almost as high as the level of adrenaline rush you’re feeling all day, fanging this amazing car for so many laps, with no pace car to slow you down. This is serious fun, and seriously worth the $3500 price tag, although it does cost some time and money to get to Level 4. Still, the Porsche Sport Driving School’s first three courses are cheaper (Level 1 and 2 are $1397) and sound like almost as much fun, in slightly lesser cars. Facing your own failings can be fun. Overcoming them rocks.

DRIVE the entire Porsche range at the Mt Cotton Driver Training Centre in Brisbane. Hot laps with racing drivers thrown in.

LEVEL 2 - $1397 MORE of the same at Mt Cotton, but this time the pace is lifted and hopefully your driving is getting better.

LEVEL 3 - $1694 THE WHOLE range of Porsches are yours to drive again, but this time you’re at Queensland Raceway, a proper track, which raises the pace significantly.

LEVEL 4 - $3500 A PROPER track day in a proper track car, the 911 GT3, with your race data being evaluated by engineers after every 10-lap session. They can be cruel, but they’re effective. An amazing day out.

LEVEL 5 - $6500 THIS is the real thing – your chance to drive an actual Carrera Cup race car at Queensland Raceway, with instruction from experts and all your data analysed by race engineers.

November/December March/April 2015 2013

INORE

March/April 2015

INORE

HAMMER TIME Chris Hemsworth talks with Rocks direct from the set of Avengers: Age of Ultron

here are lots of cool superheroes. Wolverine (claws!). Deadpool (jokes!). Batman, obviously (no jokes, ever). Swamp Thing and Wonder Woman and Shazam. Ghostrider and Jean Grey and Psylocke. Men and women, mutants and demons. A living compost heap. And then there’s Thor. Thor is the crappiest superhero. Not that he’s weak. On the contrary, he’s a god. But superheroes are a bit pointless when they’re invulnerable, and more so since the genre’s gone all gritty and brooding, something that’s also affected Superman. Superman sucks too, getting out of every jam via some new power the writers pluck from thin air, but Thor is worse. Because Thor’s powers, especially in the classic Silver Age comics, are plain dumb. Consider: Thor can’t fly, but instead throws his hammer, Mjölnir, into the distance … and gets yanked along because it’s tethered to his wrist, like a puppy tied to a shot put. If separated from Mjölnir for 60 seconds, Thor

loses his powers … a drawback compounded by his habit of wazzing it at enemies, some of whom he fights in outer space. Also, he talks like this: “Heed my words, evildoers. If thou dost wish to challenge the Odinson, thou will face the divine power of mighty Mjölnir! Never shall the god of thunder relent!” He talks like that all the time, which is dumb. But then, Thor is dumb. “Thor stumbled into every trap anyone ever set for him and lived in a near constant state of outrage and surprise,” wrote US comic Sean Reiley. “It’s probably why he was both immortal and forced to wear a helmet.” So, Thor. A dumb, pompous berk.

But Chris Hemsworth? He’s great! Hemsworth is People magazine’s 2014 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, but the 191cm former Home & Away star’s greatest achievement has been to save Thor. Under C-Hems’ command, Thor rules. This year, Hemsworth, 31, plays Thor for the fourth time in Avengers: Age of Ultron. He plays Thor funny and he plays Thor dumb, but mostly he just plays Thor charismatic. And it works: Hemsworth’s first two Thor solo outings grossed US$1.1b. In 2017, he’ll cape-up again for Thor: Ragnarok. Hemsworth is money. And he’s no berk himself. As the saviour of Asgard’s hammer-hurling dipshit proved in his sit-down with Rocks…

“I LOVED GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY – MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE MARVEL FILM”

March/April 2015

FIFO syndrome symptom #9

Watching sit-coms with a wom called Tom.

When youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready to cancel movie night with the marsupial, fly in to the legendary lifestyle of Taranaki, New Zealand.

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Tom, but it’s also great to see what the different characters will bring out in Thor now. You know, you don’t want to exhaust one relationship and in the Thor story there’s always room to do more Thor and Loki stuff, but this is nice to do something completely different.

“BEING BLACK WIDOW WOULD’VE NAILED MY DREAM OF PLAYING A SEXY FEMALE SUPERHERO”

Chris Hemsworth words by Ben Smithurst

So, Marvel just turned the comic-book Thor into a woman. Has Disney run playing Thor as a female by you? Because you’d make a very unattractive woman. Haha! Oh yeah, they love the idea! No, what went viral was that that’s what happens in the comic books, and it looked like they were going to shoot that in the films. And they ran with it, you’re right. I just took it head on, that little rumour. I welcome the challenge. Ha! Right. If you were to cast Thor as a woman, who would you choose? As a woman, Jennifer Lawrence, [laughs] I’ll aim high. After making the Thor sequel, on your own, what’s it like being part of the Avengers ensemble again? It’s great. I love the ensemble, especially with the characters, and this cast. You don’t have to carry the

THE ORIGINAL AVENGERS MOVIE’S ULTIMATE ALIEN-BUSTING BOSS FIGHT: GOOD LUCK CLAIMING THAT DAMAGE ON YOUR INSURANCE

load as much as you do with the individual films, and it’s a great group of people. It’s awesome. We’d all seen each other individually a bit over the year or two since we’ve finished Avengers and we’re excited to get back together and do this one. How many Thors are you contractually obliged to do? Six in total, so we’ve done four now… So basically another individual film and another Avengers? Yeah, that’s the plan. Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki, is cool. And you’re mates. Is it weird working without him? Yeah, a little. At first I was like, ‘Ah gee.’ I was interested to see his conflict and the motivation behind what he was doing because it was all drawn by the previous relationship. But it’s great. I love working with

What’s the feel of this Avengers? There’s so much money riding on it – like a billion dollars. I think it’s nice walking into this, from our point of view. Having the first work so well received and with this huge following through all the Marvel films, I’m sure Joss [Whedon] feels more of that pressure than we do. He has to write the script and wrangle everything together. We just have to turn up and do our bit. But it’s nice each time to have another go at the character and see where else you can explore and where else you can take it. What I love about this film is it deals with artificial intelligence, it’s all very relevant, about potential things that are happening or are going to happen in world we live in. Relevant ideas and topics that make it all the more interesting and thought-provoking. Do you get bashed out of frame by the Hulk again? No, don’t think so, haha! Someone else might. I’m still recovering from the first one. Did you see Guardians of the Galaxy? I honestly loved that film. It might possibly be my favourite of all the Marvel films. It was so much fun and I love what they did with the sound track. Turned the whole world – that type of film –on its head a bit. It had a different energy than I’d seen in any of the Marvel films before. Very unique and I thought everyone in it was fantastic. Yeah, maybe Thor will come across them in the Marvel universe ... I look forward to that. Within the Avengers, are there any other characters you’d like to play? No, I wouldn’t want to touch it, and

March/April 2015

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tinker around. They’ve all done so well. Eh, I don’t know, I don’t have anything witty for you… You’d be a hot Black Widow. Haha! Yeah, that would really have nailed my dream of playing a sexy female superhero. You bulk up for Thor, then slim down for things like Rush. How hard is that to keep up? I’d rather put the weight on than take it off. They both have their plusses and minuses, that particular time was the hardest. I did Michael Mann’s movie, Blackhat, right before

I started with Ron [Howard, director on Rush] and I’d started to lose the weight at the beginning of that. By the time I got to Ron’s film, eight, nine months after, I was exhausted and by the end, dead. It comes back that little bit easier each time, the muscle memory. But you go from one extreme to the other, whatever that is ... eating nothing or eating everything. Neither is particularly comfortable, though. It’s been a little different this time round, they said there’s three parts to the equation; there’s the working out, there’s the food and the sleep. And the sleep has been minimised a

little bit now because of my three kids, haha! It’s not too bad, I’m not complaining.

ULTRON-ERA AVENGERS: STILL BUFF, NO LONGER CONFUSED BY SHAWARMA

Do your children even notice that one month you’re buff and then all weedy the next? Nah, my two youngest are so young, they don’t even know who I am. But my daughter, with the Thor costume especially, she used to be like, ‘Oh yeah, it’s a bit different,’ and she was happy that I’d pick her up and swing her around. Now, she’s like, ‘Off, off,’ because it’s bulky and metal and she pulls at the wig. She doesn’t like the look. Sounds like you’re not getting much sleep. Do you ever hit the town with your Avengers co-stars? We do get to sleep, it’s not that bad [laughs]. When Robert was here, he set up a bunch of lunches and dinners. He was wrangling everyone, but the rest of us are too lazy, he’s fantastic for that. How are the new characters [Elizabeth ‘The Scarlett Witch’ Olsen and Aaron ‘Quicksilver’ Taylor-Johnson] getting on? Has there been an initiation process for them? They’re too emotionally and physically scarred to talk about it [laughs]. They’re great. It’s funny, after two, three months of shooting, I was talking to Lizzie and asked her, ‘So what exactly are your powers? And she’s like, ‘I can manipulate matter and do lots of magical things. What about you?’ And I’m like, ‘Well I have a magic hammer and I can fly’ [laughs]. What a ridiculous conversation. We just compare powers.

“I’M LIKE, ‘WELL I HAVE A MAGIC HAMMER AND I CAN FLY’. HA! WE JUST COMPARE POWERS” 20

March/April 2015

Whose powers would you have in real life? Quicksilver. I like his speed, he’s kind of cool. You could do the housework. Yeah, do all the cleaning up. My wife would be delighted.

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WORDS: AARON SMITH

WHAT I LEARNED ... IN

SOUTH AMERICA Australian Gonzo author Aaron Smith spent three years not-quite-dying in Latin America. These are the five lessons he learnedâ&#x20AC;Ś

March/April 2015

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1 DON’T WANDER OFF IN THE FAVELA “On a date with my future wife, we went samba dancing, the cornerstone of Brazilian culture. Now, born with two left feet and growing up with four on the floor rock’n’roll, the best way for a gringo like me to get into the Latin groove’s lightening footwork was to drink a skinful of caipirinhas – the limedrenched national cocktail of Brazil. Or so I thought. It turned out my fancy footwork was my bladder telling me it was at bursting point and a quick shuffle down a lane-way looking for a water closet brought me face-to-face with an angry tweenager with a machine gun. I’d inadvertently walked into the vicious drug gang’s no-go zone. “You die now, you white son of a bitch!” he blurted out in Portuguese, while pointing a gun to my head. Luckily, my date noticed and rushed to my rescue convincing the lad not to shoot me. After that I figured she was a keeper. We’re now married.”

2 HOW TO IMPRESS A FUTURE MOTHER-INLAW WHEN YOU DON’T SPEAK THE LINGO “Pursuing a nice Brazilian girl took a lot of ground work – dinners, long phone calls and many a brush-off. With only a couple of weeks left till my return ticket expired, it took tearing it up to get to second base. But not before meeting the in-laws. Before that, she made me get new clothes, a haircut, shave and read a list of things I could and couldn’t talk about. So I memorised a compliment for her mother about her kitchen, ‘Bonita cozinha’, but I inadvertently said, ‘Bonita cuzinho’, which meant ‘beautiful arse’. Her mum blushed and the dad went quiet. Luckily I also said nice things about his football team.” March/April 2015

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“THE CHIEF SMEARS FROG POISON INTO YOUR WOUND AND, PRESTO, YOU’RE IN!”

3 HOW TO GET INITIATED AS AN AMAZONIAN MATSE INDIAN WARRIOR “The initiation is a fairly straightforward, yet painful, process. The Indian Chief drives the burning ember of a stick from the fire into your skin and then smears poison from a tree frog mixed with his spit into the wound and, presto, you’re initiated. As long as the neuro-toxin doesn’t kill you. “The hard part is getting there. In the middle of the Amazon jungle, 20 hours by river boat and a further six hours by dugout canoe from any inkling of civilisation, these once cannibal nomads live in some rugged country. Country no guide in their right mind would take you to. So I found one, not of sound mind, Aukoo, a Texan alcoholic, ’Nam vet in a 10-gallon hat, who always spoke of himself in the third person. After a beery all-nighter in a bar on the wrong side of the tracks, he showed me a copy of his extensive criminal record and said, ‘Aukoo only has one guarantee: to get you out alive.’ I said, ‘That ain’t a rap sheet, it’s a resume, you’re hired.’”

AARON [CENTRE], JUST POPPING DOWN TO THE SHOPS FOR SOME MILK

Aaron Smith’s hilarious travel memoir, Chasing El Dorado – A South American Adventure, $29.95, is out now through Transit Lounge publishing. Award-winning Gonzo travel writer Smith has roughed it through more than 50 countries and now edits a regional newspaper in the Torres Strait, where he lives with his Brazilian wife and daughter.

4 HOW TO DRINK HALLUCINOGENS IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR ZONE “Stoically determined, or plain foolhardy, I retraced ’50s Beat writer William Burroughs’ steps into south eastern Columbia, a region the Australian Government rated as dangerous as Afghanistan, to meet a famous shaman and drink the highly hallucinogenic ayahuasca. As the brew tore me a new one, the FARC guerillas were fighting the military all around me with spats of machine-gun fire that got closer and closer as the ‘trip’ came on stronger and stronger. I assumed a horizontal position, partly because the 1670km/hr spin of the planet made me dizzy through my fish-eye vision, and partly because I wanted to minimise the chance of being hit by a stray bullet. I hummed Kumbaya My Lord and tried not to vomit on the shaman’s shoes.”

5 HOW TO FIND A TRUSTWORTHY SHAMAN … WHEN YOU ARE NOT WEARING PANTS “After an all-night, spine-jarring, whiteknuckle bus ride up Peruvian mountain switchbacks, with crumbling road softshoulders teetering over sheer drops to oblivion, finding a shaman to spit perfume over me, make me snort tobacco juice from a scallop shell, douse me in talcum powder while waving a sword all around me and under the influence of mescaline, was easy. “As I stepped off the bus at first light in the misty mountain town of Huancabamba, I was approached by a government official who took me to an office and showed me a brochure of the region’s most revered shamans. It’s that simple. The shamans in the brochure stared into the middle distance with bikini-clad nymphs. “The official then gave me a document and organised a taxi further up the mountain to where the gravel lane ended at a goat track. After the all-night, talcum-powdered, spiritual callisthenics, and a three-hour donkey ride up to a lake at 3500 metres, I was required to strip off to the buff and take the sub-zero waters, not once but three times. My family jewels shrunk to the size of raisins and I teetered on hypothermia, but it was a small price to pay for spiritual cleansing.”

March/April 2015

Winter is coming – and for half the country, that means rugby league. But how will your team fare? Gaze into the crystal ball with Rocks magazine’s 2015 NRL Preview…

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BASH& BARGE NRL SEASON PREVEW March/April 2015

BRISBANE BRONCOS SOUTH SYDNEY Prior to Rusty Crowe’s then controversial takeover of the club in 2006, the Rabbitohs were ‘the pride of the league’ like tinea is the pride of the foot. But now! With arguably NRL’s greatest current player, new captain Greg ‘GI’ Inglis, at fullback, 17 cloned Burgess brothers in the pack and a genuinely top coach in Michael Maguire, 2014 saw the Cardinal and Myrtle claim their first premiership since 1971. Why they’ll win: They’ve lost the least replaceable Burgess, Sam, to rugby union, but gained Manly’s Glenn Stewart, who despite looking 43 is only 31. Under Maguire, Stewart will go from butterball back to brilliant. And there’s always the Souths’ simplest (and best) fallback plan should that fail – chuck it to GI. Why they won’t: No premier has gone back-to-back since Brisbane in 1997-98, and almost everything went Souths’ way in 2014. 28

March/April 2015

MELBOURNE STORM With Australian captain Cameron Smith, Billy ‘Studs Up’ Slater at fullback and Cooper ‘Yes, that is my actual name’ Cronk at half, the Storm have a home record second to none and clearly the best, most influential coach in the game. And while they’re all getting on a bit, Smith may play on at hooker until he’s 50. Having lost the super-fat cult figure George Rose to the Dragons, they’ll also save on buffet bills. Why they’ll win: Because, given half an hour and a pencil, coach Craig Bellamy can turn an arthritic Big Issue vendor from outside the ground on game day into a premiership winning centre three-quarter. Why they won’t: You can only spend half your roster’s salary on three stars for so long – and losing Ryan Hoffman to the Warriors will hurt badly. And, eventually, the NRL will manage to stamp out their annoying wrestling – surely.

Having reinstalled Wayne Bennett as coach in the offseason, sacking the hard-doneby Anthony Griffin – a coach most notable for sounding exactly like Wayne Bennett – Brisbane entered 2015 in the odd situation of having more number ones than an Octoberfest pissoir. The Broncs already having signed Canberra genius Anthony Milford, Bennett brought in his deeply irritating pet Darius Boyd – and thus offloaded Ben Barba and Josh Hoffman. Why they’ll win: They’re league’s most powerful club, backed by an entire city to stuff their coffers. Bennett is a footballing god. And new custodian-cum-five-eighth Anthony Milford, again, is a genius: zippy, smart and slyer than Sylvester Stallone smuggling foxes. Why they won’t: Bennett is past it – see: Newcastle – and while he’s back at the Broncs, he doesn’t have the cattle he’s used to. Plus Boyd tore his Achilles straightaway – ha! – and oft-injured key man Justin Hodges has seen more winters than Torah Bright.

NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS The bitter blow of Alex McKinnon’s neck injury in round three of 2014 – the inspirational McKinnon remains in a wheelchair – was only the worst of Newcastle’s woes last season. With underachieving coach Wayne Bennett upping stumps, taking their best player, Darius Boyd, with him, the Knights season will rest on the fitness of captain Kurt Gidley and half Jarrod Mullen. Why they’ll win: Akuila Uate is more exciting than an exploding rollercoaster and hard-head Jeremy Smith gets better with age. Which is handy, as he was transported to Australia on the First Fleet for stealing footballs. Why they won’t: They’re missing perhaps three big names. And half a dozen medium names. And the Johns brothers. And hope.

CRONULLA SHARKS CANBERRA RAIDERS It’s been a lean trot for the hapless Green Machine, mostly because having built their colossal original success on the back of imported Queenslanders in the late ’80s, players have since become aware that signing for the Raiders means living in Canberra. And being subject to the white-knuckle zeal of coach Ricky Stuart, a man so intense his haemorrhoids have stomach ulcers. But they’ve signed Blake Austin from the Tigers and Frank-Paul ‘The Wrecking Ball’ Nu’uausala from the Roosters, who is a bona fide lunatic. Why they’ll win: Er… they’ve donated a lot of local juniors to other clubs. So some of them might grab some silverware? Why they won’t: Their best player, Anthony Milford, was so good he was practically their best three players. But he wouldn’t even stay for fourplayers’ worth of salary.

Things can only get better for Cronulla, who spent 2014 like Game of Thrones’ Theon Greyjoy tied to Ramsay Bolton’s rack. Their torture was relentless: hounded by ASADA drug investigations; sacking big-swinging-dick star player Todd Carney for ‘bubblering’ wee into his own mouth; censuring captain Paul Gallen for Tweeting abuse at his NRL masters. Coach Shane ‘I know nothing, I wasn’t looking, I was all the way over there!’ is back, but like Theon, scarred and wangless, what can there be to look forward to? Why they’ll win: Ben Barba, fresh from Brisbane, can recapture his best form and, peptides or not, Gallen still has a motor the size of an A380. Why they won’t: Gallen is 34 in August and apparently thinks he’s a real boxer. At least he needn’t worry about pugilism ruining his looks. Punches affect Gallen’s head like the British A-bomb trials affected Maralinga – where they stopped testing because nobody could tell the difference afterwards.

GOLD COAST TITANS The big disappointment of the NRL, desperate for ‘the Tits’ to succeed and provide another TV asset in southern Queensland. The Coast has managed to jag quality fullback Josh Hoffman from their big brother Broncs, but lost the quicksilver Albert Kelly, and three of their best forwards – Luke Bailey, Ashley Harrison and Mark Minichiello – to retirement and the UK Super League. And had their coach resign. To be replaced by Neil Henry … who was last sacked by North Queensland. Why they’ll win: Daniel Mortimer, in his first full season, will finally give them a genuine halfback and captain/ human pitbull Greg Bird was married in December, so he’s ready to mature and take on more responsibility. Why they won’t: Bird was arrested the day after his wedding for urinating on a police car. With police sitting in it. So … maybe not quite that ready to mature just yet?

MANLYWARRINGAH SEA EAGLES Eagles coach Geoff Toovey wakes up angry, shouts cornflake bits throughout breakfast and becomes apoplectic reversing his Camry out of the carport. In 2014 he had lots to be angry about, with a team apparently irked by halfback Daly CherryEvans’ big head and the offloading of the popular Glenn Stewart. But on the pitch, things went swimmingly until they sputtered out in the finals. Perennially strong. Why they’ll win: With DCE and Kieran Foran at the club, at least for now, they have the best halves combination in the league. And centre Steve Matai is fantastically, unrepentantly violent. But will he jump ship? Why they won’t: Do they even like each other? Will Matai be suspended for 14 weeks? Will the veins pulsing in Toovey’s forehead erupt like IEDs? March/April 2015

NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS The consistently underachieving Townsvillers came into existence just five years after Brisbane, allowing them to cheekily name themselves after the bronco’s natural master. But while Brisbane has six premierships, North Queensland has zero. Mostly because they really ought to be called the ‘North Queensland Jonathan Thurstons’. Their beautifullyeyelashed captain has been their best player since his arrival in 2005. No shame – he’s usually the league’s best player – but he’s been almost entirely without backup. Why they’ll win: They’ve been gypped by contentious refereeing errors, knocking them out of the playoffs, for the past two seasons. They deserve some luck. Why they won’t: Like cane toads, the Cows travel a lot. But also like cane toads, when they’re on the road, they usually get flattened. Their away record is grim to say the least. 30

March/April 2015

NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS Blessed with a superstar playmaker in Shaun Johnson and a quality imported British fullback, Sam Tomkins, the Warriors have nabbed Melbourne Storm, NSW and Australian star back rower Ryan Hoffman for 2015. More cleverly, they’ve also offloaded Feleti Mateo (to Manly), whose personal hot-and-cold peculiarities embodied the Warriors own: capable of mind-boggling creativity, at any time, from anywhere. But just as likely to throw the ball backwards over his own head. To his own surprise. In a gap. With the line open. Why they’ll win: They’re big, skilled, and Johnson is a once-in-a-generation freak. Why they won’t: The Rugby World Cup is on at the same time as the NRL Grand Final. So even if they do win, it’ll be buried on page 34 of the Otago Times. What’s the point?

ST GEORGEILLAWARRA DRAGONS The Big Red V has a fresh, no-nonsense coach in Paul ‘Mary’ McGregor but their frustrated fan base has been dusting off their ‘Oust Doust!’ signs – referring to the Dragons’ Peter Doust, the game’s longest serving CEO – for so long they’re printed on Great Depression era sandwich boards. Amazingly, Saints’ most consistent skill is losing to Canberra in Canberra, even if the Raiders squad stays home that day and trots out their mums instead. Why they’ll win: Prop Dan Hunt looks like an hugely overgrown toddler whose brain-free skull has thickened from steroid use ... without even using ’roids. He is a perfect footballer. Why they won’t: They paid over the odds for Benji Marshall, who is now fat, and hence couldn’t keep Brett Morris, who is not. Five-eighth Gareth Widdop is good, as is tattooed screw-up centre/fullback Josh Dugan, but they can’t do it all.

PARRAMATTA EELS With a baffling random ‘y’ in his name, a love of American culture and a tough upbringing in the tough suburb of Minto, Parramatta star Jarryd Hayne, 27, was the embodiment of western Sydney. Tragically for Parra, just 10 days after last year’s Grand Final – and thus too late to replace him, or even have a plan to replace him – Hayne quit the NRL to try to make it in the USA’s NFL. Leaving Parra like Saddam left Kuwait: confused, broken, burning and glued to US TV. Why they’ll win: Deprived of Hayne’s dominance, other players will have to get busy. Centre Will Hopoate, oddly for his family, is both a quality footballer and sane. Why they won’t: They just won’t. But bulldozing winger Semi Radradra will still do more battering than Birds Eye foods.

CANTERBURY BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS SYDNEY ROOSTERS The Chooks have long been derided as a bunch of innercity, latte-sipping pretty boys, which, to be fair, doesn’t really qualify as a ‘criticism’… and if they’ve just beaten you, seems a backhanded insult. Not very pretty at all is their leader, the massive, cubic, elbow-raising Kiwi enforced Jared WaereaHargreaves – apparently the NRL’s strongest man. The Roosters share a deep, visceral, mutual hatred with Souths. It says much about the code that this is one of league’s greatest assets. Bonus: astute, taciturn coach Trent Robinson has a tomato for a face. Why they’ll win: Because Souths did last year, and hammered the Bondi boys beforehand. Why they won’t: Because Sonny Bill Williams has gone back to the All-Blacks. He’s been replaced by Blake Ferguson, who while brilliant at football, seems an A-grade loosecannon douche. Who’ll goad Mitchell Pearce up the ’Cross.

Coached by the deadly combination of Des Hasler and Des Hasler’s hair, as sentient a coif as that of Australian Idol-era Andrew G, the Doggies over-achieved in 2014 – and were put to the sword in the Grand Final. They’ve lost their captain, professional irritant Michael Ennis, a sort of human version of 28 Days Later’s rage virus, but replaced him with up-and-coming star Michael Lichaa – and added a second Morris brother, Brett, from the Dragons. Looking good. But is Brett a fullback? Why they’ll win: Their forwards are awesome, lead by huge St Helens nutjob James Graham (who is nicknamed ‘Bupa’, like the health insurance, for his resemblance to a fat, dying version of fellow prop Aiden Tolman). They also have David Klemmer, 21, who is two metres tall, 120kg and looks like an orc on day release from a Mordor prison. Why they won’t: Oddly, considering their halves are the NSW Origin incumbents, they lack creativity.

PENRITH PANTHERS Ginger NRL Footy Show honcho Fatty Vautin described Phil Gould’s head as looking “like it’s been stung by a thousand bees”, but the Penrith chief can build a team. The young Panfers were strong in 2014, refusing to be derailed even by the loss of their half Peter Wallace, and unearthing more booms than a Sydney to Hobart field. Those included a boom fullback (Matt Moylan), a boom hooker (James Segeyaro), boom lock (Adam Docker) and a boom crap hipster beard (Josh Mansour). Why they’ll win: Halfback Jamie Soward’s tiny dwarf legs can kick a ball 70 metres on the fly. Their ascent seems inexorable. Why they won’t: Massive centre Jamal Idris is fearsome … but always just a week away from utterly left-field off-field calamity. What next? Jamal’s disappeared again! Jamal’s got his head caught in a gate! Jamal’s punched the Prime Minister! Jamal’s eaten the tea lady! It’s anyone’s guess.

WESTS TIGERS The full-of-potential Tigers are the league version of cricket’s injury-plagued Shane Watson – every stubbed toe a shattered ulna, every shaving cut a decapitation. But with a young gun fullback (James Tedesco), halfback (Luke Brooks), lock (Curtis Sironen), utility (Tim Moltzen) and reserve hooker (Blake Austin), their future looked bright. Except now Austin’s buggered off … to Canberra. Who would do that? Only a masochist, and it’s never good to lose a masochist from your roster; they’re tough. Why they’ll win: Robbie Farah, uninjured, will more than cover Austin and new coach Jason Taylor will be less fractious than the messily departed Mick Potter. Why they won’t: They’re not particularly good at ‘tackling’. Sadly. And Taylor left his last head coaching gig, at Souths, because he was bashed … by one of his players at the pub. So he’s a leader of men... March/April 2015

BRUSHESWITHDEATH

MY ZOMBIE

SPIDER

HELL!

Top Gear’s Richard Hammond knows cars. But cars with spiders in them? Not so much, as he tells Rocks… WORDS: BEN SMITHURST

ou’re coming to Australia for Top Gear Live, and you’re infamously arachnophobic. You know we’ve got the world’s deadliest spiders, don’t you? Well, spider deaths are very rare in Australia, aren’t they? Though we all think of the place being full of the bastards, very few people get bitten by them.

went past a tree everything that was on every frond of that tree just dropped into my car. We’d finished filming for the day, because it was dark, and we had a seven-hour drive ahead of us to get to the next stop. I climbed into my car and I was about to set off when I looked up and there was an enormous spider clinging underneath the fixed camera on the roof above my head in the car.

Thank heavens. You’ve

What did you do? Well, I leapt out and went and found the expedition boss and he went and looked and said ‘Oh God, it’s a Brown Recluse!’ And they’re very nasty spiders, because they necrotise your flesh so your flesh rots off the bones.

Hammond shown actual size

infamously cheated death by a narrow margin on film, when you had a massive crash and went into a coma in 2006. What’s been your closest scrape off camera? It was when we were filming in Bolivia. I was driving an old Toyota LandCruiser where you couldn’t close the doors and windows because it was ruined. We were driving through the rainforest, and so every time I

March/April 2015

Ugh! Yes! So we knocked the thing off – the idea was just to get rid of it, and I set off following a camera car. We weren’t filming, we were just

“THE BECA Y’RE VER YOURUSE THE Y NASTY ROTS FLESH SY NECRO SPIDER S, OFF T O YOU TISE HE BO R FLE NES” SH

REJOICE!

IT’S TOP GEAR

LIVE!

The boys are coming back to Sydney – and this time, it’s the full compliment… TOP GEAR Live has graced Australian shores in the past, and the trio of hosts shot an episode in the Northern Territory late last year. But until the 2015 version, which will be held at Sydney Motorsport Park on 18-19 April, it’s never had all three at once. This year will see the full compliment – Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond – plus the Stig out from the UK. “I’m looking forward to it very, very much,” says Hammond. “Although it’ll still be the other two ugly idiots I’m stuck with so that’s just annoying, really.” It’s a chance, according to Hammond, for the trio of Brits to really tee off on the locals. “Well, because it’s the first time with all three of us, we can really crank up the rivalry between the countries,” he says. “So I think we, together with the Stig, are going to take on an all-star Aussie team, including [former Australian TV hosts] Shane Jacobson and Steve Pizzati, and we’re going to challenge them to a load of risky, high-speed racing challenges. “So as one bright spark said, if cricket has the Ashes, this could well be ‘the Crashes’,” he sighs. “Oh, God. I apologise.” “Although we are planning on playing V8 cricket, where we use a V8 to bowl. If it works.” Tickets available from ticketek.com.au

March/April 2015

BRUSHESWITHDEATH

TOP GEAR’S TRIO. FROM LEFT: JAMES MAY,RICHARD HAMMOND, JEREMY CLARKSON

rattling along, off road, in this rattly old car; it was seven or eight hours on rough tracks. And so about 10 or 15 minutes later I felt something land on my shoulder… The Brown Recluse! I looked to my left and there was this enormous spider grinning at me. It was a big mother – it was wearing a tool belt and things, it was horrible – and the car had no brakes or clutch, at all. I was driving it clutchless. So all I could do was grind it into first to slow it down, cut the engine and throw myself out onto the ground, first swiping the spider off my shoulder. Then I ran up to the camera car to have them check for spiders, but it was gone. I’d knocked it off … back into the car. Did you find it? No! So somewhere in the car was this enormous Brown Recluse. Which I had to drive onwards with for seven hours, being very careful not to put my hand anywhere that I couldn’t see. Did you consider setting fire to the car? I considered saying there’d been a horrible accident and my car burned to the ground, yes. But no, after

March/April 2015

“I LOOKED TO MY LEFT AND THERE WAS THIS ENORMOUS SPIDER GRINNING AT ME. IT WAS A BIG MOTHER” three hours I was so tired that I said, over the radio, ‘Guys, I can’t do this alone – I’m sorry, I need someone to talk to…’ And they sent me Greg, Thin Greg, as we called him then. He was a researcher, only a 20-year-old kid who had just joined the show. I gave him a bottle of DEET, said ‘There, put that all over you’ – I didn’t tell him that the thing about DEET is it doesn’t work against spiders, haha! – and said ‘Don’t touch anything you can’t see, there’s a poisonous spider in here somewhere’. And he just sat there staring ahead with wide eyes for the next four hours. He didn’t die, though? No, but he almost died of shock and misery.

TOP GEAR TV’S BEST STIG SECTION INTROS “SOME SAY… l he has two sets of knees l his sweat can be used to clean precious metals l he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’ l that he once hacked into his own helmet l that he has to take his shoes off with an allen key, and that his new year’s resolution is to eat fewer mice l that he invented the curtain l that he sleeps inside out l he sucks the moisture from ducks … ALL WE KNOW IS HE’S CALLED THE STIG”

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HOURS IN

QUEENSTOWN WORDS: FAYE JAMES

UNLEASHED

The Southern Hemisphere’s very own Norway is just a three-hour plane ride away. Rocks uncovers the world’s finest pinot, burger joints and action aplenty in New Zealand.

hen you think of Queenstown, you might imagine holidaying with ski bums, bungee-jump enthusiasts and Lord of the Rings nutters – well at least I did. But after an action-packed 48 hours, I discovered this Nordic-like town, punctuated with awe-inspiring ski mountains and shimmering lakes, is way more than just fluffy snow and hirsute hobbits. OK, so not many proper Kiwis actually live there – it’s mainly escaped Englishmen and stray Germans chasing gap year thrills – but with so much to see and do, you can forgive the tourists-cum-students for making this slice of heaven their own. Whether you’re after adventure, be it skiing, bungee jumping, bushwalking, gondola rides, kayaking, fishing, parasailing, helicopter rides or hot air ballooning, Queenstown has it all. And if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, then the food and wine definitely will. With notable wineries staking their claim on fine pinots and sparkling wines, these rolling, Tuscan-like vineyards are fast gaining popularity for their excellent plonk and picturesque scenery. That, coupled with the high standard of cuisine, creates a winning formula for gourmet enthusiasts.

March/April 2015

Bush Adventures! BUSHMOB’S

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Bushmob is a small company based in Central Australia that works primarily with young Aboriginal young people (and families) aged between 12 and 25. Bushmob run an alcohol and drug treatment house, Bush Adventure Therapy, and an Outreach and Multimedia program. Would YOU be willing to act as a Bushmob patron? Or be willing to make financial contributions or donations? Get in touch! For more information on Bushmob and its services visit www.bushmob.com.au ratua island 183-124 demi-page_presse 26/02/2014 22:33 Page1

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UNLEASHED DAY 1 9:00

Head to the heart of the village, which sits unapologetically on the majestic Lake Wakatipu, a vast, 300m-deep waterway that actually seems endless. Crook your neck a little and you’ll see a mountain range and ski field called The Remarkables, which is, well, pretty remarkable. Famous for its terrain, it’s one of the main reasons ski-bums flock to Queenstown. Skiing is reasonably priced and, boasting three mountain bowls and six lifts over 540 acres, features good runs. It’s a bit of a mission to get up to – and proper scary in a bus, with a vertiginous drop at your wheel nuts, but more than worth the effort. Back in town, check out Fergburger where you’ll find queues of hungry punters lining up for its world famous burgers. With a melt-in-themouth pattie and crispy bun, it could easily make it onto your list of the world’s best burgers.

LAKE WAKATIPU’S TSS EARNSLAW: THE ONLY COMMERCIAL, COAL-FIRED PASSENGER STEAMSHIP LEFT IN THIS HEMISPHERE

13:00

It’s time to check out some bungee jumping, Queenstown’s very own sport. In 1988, bungee pioneers A.J. Hackett and Henry Van Asch launched the world’s first commercially operated jumping site off the historic Kawarau Bridge. With a 43-metre drop, the jump isn’t for the faint-hearted – not that diving head-first from 30 metres closer to the ground would be much safer. Don’t feel like going it solo? Don’t worry, you can be tied up and thrown off with a friend. The bridge is cloaked in mountain greenery so the view while you wait, urinating and paralysed with fear, is superb.

15:00

Some downtime is in order. Check into a suite at DoubleTree in Kawarau. Offering lakeside rooms, this recently opened luxe hotel is the perfect spot for a Queenstown weekender. Book a massage at the eforea spa, then schlep downstairs to while away a couple of hours in the lap pool and jacuzzi.

“WITH A 43-METRE DROP, KAWARAU BRIDGE BUNGEE ISN’T FOR THE TIMID – NOT THAT DIVING HEAD-FIRST FROM HALF THE HEIGHT WOULD BE SAFER”

18:00

Time to get some nosh. After an action-packed day, you can be forgiven for not wanting to mission out far. Head downstairs to the beautifully appointed Wakatipu Grill, which is perfectly situated on the shoreline, and bunk up beside the roaring fire. Gorge on scallops, chorizo, savoy cabbage, spiced apple purée, wasabi sherbet or Merino lamb rump, truffle crushed potatoes, broccolini, baby carrots, spinach and pistachio pesto. Then wash it all down with one the Grill’s fine selection of pinots on offer and try not to collapse into a food coma before you make it back to your room. You’ll need a rest to rejuvenate for the action-packed day ahead.

March/April 2015

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UNLEASHED

THE LOWDOWN

DAY 2

07:00

We flew with Qantas from Sydney, which is roughly a three-hour trip and costs approximately $350 return. You can also check out flights from Air New Zealand, Virgin Australia and Jetstar.

NOT PICTURED: HOBBITS, THE PRECIOUS, PETER JACKSON’S BARBER

STAY

09:00

We stayed at The DoubleTree by Hilton Queenstown. Formerly known as the Kawarau Hotel and managed by Hilton Worldwide, this stylish 98-room hotel is set in the heart of bustling Kawarau Village, convenient to Queenstown International Airport and just a short drive or water taxi ride from the centre. queenstowndoubletree.com

If you do happen to be a Lord of the Rings tragic, your next stop has to be at Heliworks, the official ’copter company that was contracted by Peter Jackson for aerial filming and transportation. These scenic flights have been designed by the principal filming pilots for the series and the 3.5-hour tour takes you through Queenstown, The Remarkables, Closeburn and beyond – all the way to the Ford of Bruinen. Even if you’re not a LoTR fan, the flight is worthwhile just for the aweinspiring tableaus. Or you’ve had breakfast, yes … but, as Pippin said, what about second breafast?

EAT Fergburger – one of the best burgers you’ll eat. Ever. fergburger.com Rata – posh dining at its best. ratadining.co.nz Amisfield – amazing pinot and lush cuisine. amisfield.co.nz Wakatipu Grill – stunning views onto the lake with stunning food to match. queenstownhilton.com/ restaurants/wakatipu-grill

DO Fishing unreelfishing.co.nz Bungee jumping bungy.co.nz Skiing nzski.com Helicopter rides heliworks.co.nz

Start the day nice and early with a round of fishing along the lake. The air is particularly crisp at this time in the morning so make sure you wrap up well; once the motorboat picks up speed, the icy-cold air arrives like a smack in the face. Try out unReel Fishing with hardy New Zealander, Mike Johnson (yes, a real Kiwi) onboard who will navigate you through the best trout fishing spots along Lake Wakatipu.

13.00

“WRAP UP WELL – ONCE THE MOTORBOAT PICKS UP SPEED, THE ICYCOLD AIR ARRIVES LIKE A SMACK IN THE FACE”

Or, as non-hobbits call it: lunch. Take a 15-minute drive from Queenstown to the famous rolling hills of Amisfield winery for a bite. You can stop off at the erstwhile gold town, Arrowtown, en route which is straight out of a Western movie set and ideal for touristy knick-knacks. Amisfield is reowned for its flavoursome pinots, which account for around 60 per cent of its production. Pair your pinot with the sophisticated menu of dishes, such as wild venison stroganoff or gnocchi with wild rabbit, then spend the afternoon kicking back, sipping your way through Amisfield’s delectable wines. Queenstown also does taxis.

18:00

Dinner at Queenstown’s best restaurant, Rata, will cap your weekend. Rata is owned and operated by Michelin-starred chef Josh Emett and features innovative dishes such as goat’s cheese profiteroles, rose veal carpaccio and roast pork with cauliflower, vanilla-poached apple and savoy cabbage. Depending on your postprandial appetite, a night out in Queenstown can offer anything from Bardeaux – a chic bar offering a large selection of champagnes and local pinots – to Club 88, Queenstown’s only adult entertainment club. Choose wisely. Or do both.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

WORDS: DEBORAH DICKSON

MILD HOGS Are you more fairy bread than Hell’s Angel? Fear not, there’s still time to get your motor running 42

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

unter S Thompson’s Hells Angels was written 50 years ago. It opens as Sonny Barger’s gang hauls out for the 1964 Monterey Labor Day Run, “running fast and loud on the early morning freeway, low in the saddle.” “Nobody smiles, jamming crazy through traffic and ninety miles an hour down the centre stripe, missing by inches … like Genghis Khan on an iron horse, a monster steed with a fiery anus, flat out through the eye of a beer can and up your daughter’s leg with no quarter asked and none given.” It’s publishing’s most adrenalized opening page. It’s also an advert for lunacy, perfectly pitched to sell anyone mid mid-life crisis a certain brand of bike. “Ah, these righteous dudes, they love to screw it on,” drawls HST. “Long hair in the wind, beards and bandanas flapping, earrings, armpits, chain whips, swastikas and stripped-down Harleys flashing chrome as traffic on 101 moves over, nervous, to let the formation pass like a burst of dirty thunder.” Who doesn’t want to ride a Harley? The mere thought of it brings various highway songs into my head as I picture myself, hair flying in the wind, handling every dip and corner of the road with expert precision, before perhaps pulling up at a country pub and drawing envious looks from passers-by. The Harley is an icon, and they’re cool. All sleek lines, retro styling and loud, rumbling engine; heads turn as they pass. Back in the ’60s, Harley-Davidson’s outlaw mystique drew from gang associations, but these days, with price tags starting at about $32,000, the Harley is no longer a vehicle for young rebels. Today, you’re more likely to see them being ridden by wealthy men in their mid-fifties, perhaps going through a financially rebellious mid-life crisis, illustrated embarrassingly by the mid-lifecrisis road trip movie, Wild Hogs. So if you can’t yet afford to splash out on a HarleyDavidson Road King, the next best thing would be to rent one for the weekend. Which is how we came to be here at EagleRider Australia headquarters; a group of friends; Simon, Rod, Keith and myself, all suffering serious Harley envy,

off to explore the country roads of southern NSW on rented motorcycles. I’m riding pillion, the token female, and I give them a spray worthy of Gemma Teller in Sons Of Anarchy when they snicker about my bikie moll status. We’re off. While everyone is reasonably experienced on motorbikes, no one has ridden a Harley before, so we’re nervous as we arrive at EagleRider HQ on Parramatta Road in Burwood, Sydney. Rod’s ridden since he was 10, but never a Harley, “I looked like an awestruck kid in a very expensive toy shop when I first walked in,” he says. “Harleys have always seemed intimidating to me,” says Simon. “I suppose I always thought that I didn’t have long enough hair for a Harley, or anywhere near enough black leather.” But owners Will and Santina Keith, both factory trained by Harley-Davidson in the US, assure us all that while the big steel and chrome bike is a heavy machine, it is superbly balanced and easy to ride. They will escort us on our trip, along with David Reeves, another seasoned rider. They take us through the basics of riding safely in a staggered formation. This is because, according to Will, “the vast majority of accidents with hire bikes happen when riders crash into each other”.

“HARLEY’S OUTLAW MYSTIQUE DREW FROM GANG ASSOCIATIONS, BUT WITH PRICES FROM $32,000, IT’S NO LONGER A VEHICLE FOR YOUNG REBELS” March/April 2015

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UNLEASHED

THE SEA CLIFF BRIDGE, CLIFTON. SITE OF 1000 CAR COMMERCIALS

“There’s a certain allure to Harleys you can’t explain,” says Will. “As trite as that may sound it’s true. It has to be experienced. And not just by riding around the block or going for a half hour test ride. “I see it all the time. People who have never experienced it give it a try for all kinds of reasons, but whatever the reason, there comes the day when you throw your leg over an open class road bike, flip the switch, push the button, pull the clutch, stick it in gear, twist the throttle and LET GO! “At first things are a little wobbly. You’re not really sure when to put your feet up or even where they go. Your mind is racing and things are

“I’M NOT SURE IF WE ATTRACT RESPECT, ENVY OR MIRTH AS WE FIND OUR HARLEY LEGS, BUT I SETTLE INTO MY PILLION POSITION FAIRLY QUICKLY”

happening fast. But then, after a period of time that’s different for every rider, there comes a moment where everything just is as it should be, you’re in control, you breathe out a sigh of contentment, usually without realising it. You’re not thinking about it any more. Now you’re beginning to experience “it”. Our route, over three days, takes us from Sydney through Goulburn, Oberon, Bathurst and Katoomba before heading back to Sydney on the Bells Line of Road. We set off slowly along a busy Parramatta Road, headed first for the Royal National Park and Wollongong, taking the coastal route and the magnificent Sea Cliff Bridge along the way. I’m not sure if we attract respect, envy or mirth as we find our Harley legs, but I settle into my pillion position fairly quickly and I must say it’s very comfortable, like riding in an armchair watching the scenery glide by. Bereft of swastikas or chains, I try very hard not to look too much like a fraud. The bike accelerates quickly and smoothly, with a rumble that agitates the pedestrians we pass. The faces of my riding companions show they’re feeling pretty damn pleased with themselves. Our first comfort stop is Stanwell Tops, where we pause to enjoy the ocean view and grab lunch before heading inland to wider, sweeping roads and a late afternoon stop at the country town of Burrawang. “As we rode in, you could hear window shutters slamming all down the street while panicked mothers ran out and snatched up their curious children!” gushes one of our crew at the local pub afterwards. But as we deliberate between tea or cappuccinos, the locals give each other a knowing look. The Best Western Centretown motel in Goulburn is one of that chain’s ‘Rider Friendly’ hotels, offering 10 per cent discount to members of the Harley Owners Group (HOGs), so that’s where we stay.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHED

“DAY ONE WAS SPENT WOBBLING IN THE CORNERS, TRYING TO SORT OUT WHERE TO BE IN THE PACK AND WHEN TO SLOW DOWN OR SPEED UP” They also supply us each with a towel to wipe down our rides. On our second day’s riding everyone is a lot more confident, and to Will Keith’s delight, able to take on the twists and turns a good deal faster. “Much of day one was spent thinking about it, wobbling in the corners, searching for a staggered formation and safe following distance, trying to sort out where to be in the pack and when to slow down or speed up,” says Will. “I am guilty of commenting at the end of the day that I had never ridden through the National Park so slow. But, as is almost always the case, straightaway on day two everyone was on their bike and away without a second thought.” Day two takes us through Oberon and Bathurst, where we do a circuit at Mt Panorama, then head east to Katoomba. We take the back roads and tourist drives all the way to the Blue Mountains, a succession of sweeping bends through

“SOME BIKIES SHOT TREV, BUT I THINK THEY WERE MOSTLY ANNOYED BY HIS SONS OF ANARCHY HOODIE”

wide green valleys intersected by creeks and sheltered gullies, dotted with cows, sheep and the odd alpaca. We arrive in Katoomba at dusk. On day three, we swap bikes around before heading home to Sydney along the Bells Line of Road. “Day three was where the magic happened,” said Will, afterwards. “As we were winding down a curvy mountain road I looked up and there spread out in front of me in a perfect staggered formation, riding the curves at speed, switching left and right smooth as silk and sticking to a line through the corners like a group of old pros were the Mild Hogs. Really sharing the adventure. “It was then I knew I didn’t need to explain. They understood.” All we righteous dudes. We love to screw it on. Flat out through the eye of the antiquing district and a nice Devonshire tea for brunch.

EAGLE RIDER’S seven-day, 1069-kilometre Country NSW Escape starts at $2591 per person and includes hotel accommodation, motorcycle rental, unlimited kilometres, fuel and oil, welcome and farewell dinners, tour leader and support vehicle. Tours are also available in Queensland out of Brisbane and Mackay. Daily (24-hour) hire starts at $204.45 for a 1200cc Sportster and $244.10 for the Road King (unlimited mileage and helmet included). MORE INFO: eaglerider.com.au The writer travelled courtesy of EagleRider Australia, Best Western and Destination NSW.

March/April 2015

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ROAD TRIPPING HEADING TO THE LAND OF CROCS, BARRA AND BUFFALO

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Profiling the West Coast’s most exciting talent from bands Axe Girl, Scalp Hunter, Boys Boys Boys! Timothy Nelson and the Infidels, The Painkillers, Mathas and Ham Jam...

INORE

March/April 2015

INORE

WORDS: BEN SMITHURST

WHEN IT COMES TO ROCK, WESTERN AUSTRALIA IS RICH IN MORE THAN JUST THE ORE-BEARING KIND. MEET WA’S BRIGHTEST UP-AND-COMING BANDS…

t’s bigger than Texas – in fact, close to four times the size – so it makes sense that Australia’s largest state has its share of world-class musicians. WA has spawned world-beating musicians from Bon Scott to John Butler, from Eskimo Joe to Jebediah, Tame Impala and The Triffids. They do politically incorrect (Kevin

Bloody Wilson), legally incorrect (Rolf Harris) and spell incorrectly (Karnivool), but bands that emerge from the West often find themselves launched onto the world stage. So what about the scene on the ground at home? “Perth has always had a pretty strong sort of pub/punk rock scene but that doesn’t mean that’s the only sort of music you get out here,” says Travis

Johnson, local music and arts editor at X-Press, Perth’s oldest street press magazine. “Venues like Mojos in North Fremantle, The Rosemount Hotel in North Perth and The Bird in Northbridge are worth visiting every night of the week. If you don’t go and see live bands, you’re doing yourself a disservice because there’s a whole ecology of really great bands there.”

March/April 2015

INORE

ADDISON AXE, FAR RIGHT: SPUNKY AND ALLITERATIVE

Genre: pop rock

Gutsy front-woman Addison Axe is a Londoner, but she met the rhythm section of WA heroes Jebediah in a pub and just “started jamming” when she was in town on a touring theatre show in 2012. “I went back to London, grabbed some stuff, sold some other stuff, and put the rest in my lovely grandma’s garage and jumped on a plane to be in Axe Girl,” the sexy-but-scary Axe told indie music mag Tomatrax. A $10K crowdfunded first album behind them, Axe Girl is “just really fun, poppy pop-rock basically,” says Johnson. “ London is so big, you don’t know people outside your own scene,” says Axe, a woman whose extensive tattooedness precludes future bank work. “It is WAY cooler in Perth. The music scene here is so unique.” axegirl.com

“NONE SHALL MAKE US WEAR SLEEVES!”

Genre: thrash punk

Formed in 2009, heavily-tattooed dark denim aficionados Scalphunter – lead by hulking frontman Steven Knoth – share their band name with a Comanche Marvel comics villain and their ferocious live show with anyone who’ll listen. Named one of Blunt magazine’s 20 bands to watch in 2014, Johnson describes the hairy, full-bore Scalphunter as: “One of the greatest punk bands Perth has seen if you like it hard and heavy. “They’re consummate musicians. They’ve also got a bit of personnel crossover with another great punk/ rock band called Chainsaw Hookers, who do a lot of horror-themed music – a lot of stuff about serial killers and Friday the 13th and all that jazz.” Note: not actual jazz. Think The Bronx, Cancer Bats and Turbonegro. And anti-corporate shoutiness. scalphunter.bandcamp.com

March/April 2015

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INORE

“PICNIC TABLES ARE SO 2014. DO YOU EVEN HIPSTER, BRO?”

“Regardless of what your preferred music genre is, I dare you go to a Boys Boys Boys! performance and tell me you didn’t have fun,” says Kane Sutton, assistant editor at Perth music news hub The Music. “If there was a prize for most fun had by band and crowd, they would have the honour stitched up,” says The Drum’s Nick Sas. With a live show employing multiple synths, synchronised dancing, tongue-in-cheek attitude and maximum energy, Boys Boys Boys! (four sweetly harmonising ladies and two, er, actual boys) have supported everyone from the imported and horrendous (Aqua and the Vengaboys) to the local and sublime (Regurgitator and Bluejuice) and played the Big Day Out, Good Vibrations and Parklife. boysboysboys.bandcamp.com

March/April 2015

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Nominated for seven gongs in the 2014 WA Music Awards, lushly coiffed 24-year-old ginger Timothy Nelson’s six-piece released its second album, Terror Terror, Hide It Hide It in August. “They’re probably the most notable band doing the rounds at the moment – they’re kind of a ’70s singer/songwriter pop band,” gushes Johnson. “Timothy Nelson is one of the greatest singer/songwriters working in WA and possibly Australia. They’re really, really good live, and are also a bit of a supergroup. One thing worth noting about the Perth scene is there’s a lot of crossover. Nelson, for example, is in The Kill Devil Hills.” Triple J described the band’s first single, ‘All The People’, as having: “An early ’90s Manchester rave influence with a hint of The Clash for good measure.” Good, then. tninfidels.bandcamp.com

Y AR SS

James Baker has spent a life behind drum kits as the original drummer for such legendary acts as The Scientists, The Hoodoo Gurus and The Beasts of Bourbon. But his band, The Painkillers (alongside guitar/vocalist Josh “Joe Bludge” Reynolds) has been cranking out garage rock forever. The band’s numbers have now been supplemented with two more legends – Martin P Casey (Triffids/Bad Seeds) and Richard Lane (The Stems). They’re old. But they’re great. “They’re just fantastic garage rock and they’re guys who are never going to stop doing garage rock,” says Johnson. the-painkillers.com

March/April 2015

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The best thing about Birds Of Tokyo’s Triple J Like A Version cover of Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Swimming Pools (Drank)’ – current YouTube views: more than 191,000 – was guesting Perth hip-hop MC Mathas. On the Triple J radar for several years, the lyrically adept, socially conscious Tom ‘Mathas’ Mathieson was a founding member of Perth music/art collective The Community in 2004. He was given a boost in 2013, when his song, ‘Nourishment’, swept the WAM’s Song Of The Year competition. “He’s doing incredible things at the moment – he and Timothy Nelson seem like the two most likely to break out of WA into the national scene,” says Johnson. mathas.bandcamp.com

Added to Triple J Unearthed for their single, ‘Love’, late last year – the first release off an eponymous five-track EP – skuzzy Perth garage rockers Hamjam immediately found themselves feted by no less than Rolling Stone. “There’s a sense of unrestrained freedom within [Love’s] unique merging of psych-rock, garage and punk,” gushed the music bible, “while avoiding the regular trappings of focusing solely on its differentiation.” The band, whose name is a (rubbish) portmanteau of cofounders Hamish Rahn and James Ireland’s names, claim they sound like, “garage without the door. So, carport?” That doesn’t make sense, but their EP does. Not that the pair takes making sense – or themselves – too seriously. “Nah,” Ireland told X-Press, “We’ll always be dickheads”. soundcloud.com/hhhamjam

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

SWAMP

THING Crocs, barra, buffalo and as many boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; toys as you can cram into a colossal tin shed. Welcome to Northern Territory wilderness. WORDS: MICHELLE HESPE

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

THE SPEEDBOAT cuts through the still waters of Home Billabong in the Mary River National Park, a steady spray of wake catching the sun as it sinks over the floodplains. A half-submerged buffalo raises its head from the murky water, its enormous horns casting pointed shadows. A pied heron has landed on its back to watch us passing, and the buffalo snorts. Rowan, a guide from Wildman Wilderness Lodge, slows the boat and glides smoothly into a quiet corner of the billabong. It’s a spot he keeps to himself for when he’s hankering for barramundi. “This place is teeming with them,” he grins, “but you gotta get used to the fact that sometimes the crocs get lazy and want your catch just as much as you. “Last week I lost a barra and my rod to a big old croc right here. New rod, too.” Snagging a barra is high on most visitors’ Top End bucket lists. The fishing trip is one of Wildman’s tours. If you’re around here at the right time, when the wet season has come and gone, the waters recede and what’s left is a goldmine of fat barramundi. Fellow traveller Jeff and I settle into the seat at the end of the boat. Our rods are at the ready. With the motor now silent, it’s like time has stopped. Then the sounds of the wild appear – first, the weirdly warbling whistling-ducks begin to sing, and then, gradually, the rest of the wildlife finds its voice. “There’s a croc over there – he knows we’re fishin’,” says Rowan casually, nodding towards the bank. Sure enough, a reptilian snout with a 98 million year old patent breaks the surface. Its piercing green-yellow eyes flash brightly against the deepening sunset. It’s looking straight at my rod.

March/April 2015

Photography: Anthony Ong

MAN v CROC

UNLEASHEDWA/NT

MATT WRIGHT AT THE CONTROLS

It’s not long before Jeff yelps a surprisingly girlish yelp and seizes up his rod. “I’m on!” he squeals, and a tug-o-war begins. While the water boils with the barra’s struggle, there’s a stealthy swish further afield, and the croc zeroes in. Rowan chuckles. The croc is quick. Within a few seconds of laughing and shouting, the croc appears right next to our boat – but it’s not the reptile’s day, either. The barra escapes both jaws and hook, and Jeff’s left with nothing but a dead straight rod. Rowan slaps his back. “Next time, huh? There’s always tomorrow and there’s always more barra.” We head back to the lodge, which is a long row of cabins (called ‘Habitats’) safely propped up on steel legs above the wetlands. They’re flanked by the main buildings, housing a reception, restaurant, bar and outdoor pool with a classic Aussie wooden deck. All peer out over the panoramic Mary River Wetlands, which is a mélange of iconic Australian outback bush, with spinifex, pandanus and gum trees in abundance. The bar and pool area sit squarely on a red dirt airstrip, beyond which are two rows of safari-style ‘tents’. They’re more like outback apartments with their floorboards, en-suites and roomy decks; the sort of flashpacker ‘glamping’ retreats an old school bushie would mock in company then crash in if no one was looking. The runway is for guests who arrive by small plane, and it’s also handy for those wanting to head out on a small plane or chopper adventure. Wildman Wilderness Lodge is a showcase of sustainable tourism – in an astonishingly literal way. The lodge itself was recycled from materials that once made up a resort 300 kilometres west of Cairns called Wrotham Park. When Wrotham shut up shop in 2009, it was disassembled, packed on to 18 triple road trains and driven 2800 kilometres across the Top End.

March/April 2015

FLORIDA’S EVERGLADES? NO, IT’S THE MARY RIVER WETLANDS

UNLEASHEDWA/NT After a three-course dinner seated before floor-toceiling glass windows – the Milky Way like a spray of diamonds on felt – falling asleep in your ‘Habitat’ is a cinch. A mish-mash of birdcalls, a rhythmic croaking of frogs and the steady strum of crickets chirping drifts across the plains like an outback lullaby.

UPPING THE ANTE The next day’s highway drive is a 170-kilometre run to Darwin. Wildman left behind, adrenalin and adventure is the order of the day. And there is one man in these parts whose life is a mishmash of Crocodile Dundee and the late Steve Irwin. Crocodile handler Matt Wright is known to many as the star of Nat Geo Wild’s pay TV series The Outback Wrangler. Wright grew up in a Papua New Guinean beach shack before making his way to the Territory. He’s also a chopper pilot, a wild animal relocator and a professional crocodile egg collector who was playing with snakes when most of us were discovering LEGO. Wright set up Outback Floatplane Adventures a year ago. And for those who like their big boy’s toys, crocs and getting out into real bush, then Matt’s halfand full-day tours are like nothing else in Oz. A typical day kicks off with a 40-minute floatplane flight from Darwin to his property. It’s out in the Litchfield National Park, beyond the main tourist areas, and completely off the beaten track. The only guest access is by air. The plane lands on Sweets Lagoon – which was previously home to the notorious saltwater crocodile called Sweetheart – an icon of the Territory. Fivemetres long, Sweetheart is now stuffed and on display in The Museum and Art Gallery of the Northern Territory in Darwin, but beginning in 1974 he launched a series of attacks on aluminium dinghies at a popular Darwin fishing spot. In 1979 he was caught and anaesthetised, but as his trappers struggled to haul him ashore, Sweetheart became snagged on a sunken log and drowned. Not that his throne has been empty since. Wright’s part of the world teems with big salties. Since crocodile culling was banned in the Territory in the 1970s, the croc population has boomed. There are now up to 200,000 saltwater crocodiles in the Top End, and last year there were four recorded human fatalities from attacks. After a BBQ lunch on the 13-metre custom-built luxury cruise vessel (with a heli-pad, naturally), guests are taken for a spin through the swampland channels in an Evergladesstyle fan-driven airboat. Wright’s is a custom-built vessel, driven by a 500 Horsepower turbo diesel V8. And the local alpha predators are thick on the banks. Meeting a saltwater crocodile in an enclosed park is one thing, but being able to get up close and personal with a 4.5-metre dinosaur – alongside a guide – is another thing entirely.

March/April 2015

UNLEASHEDWA/NT BE CROCWISE: • Always obey warning signs, they are there for your protection • Only swim in safe designated areas - if there is no safe swimming sign, do not swim.

“Otis! C’mon buddy, get out here and say hello!” says Wright, who is crouched down on the riverbank. He slaps his cap on the sand and Otis’s huge head breaks the water, his eyes directly focused on the TV wrangler. Everyone in the airboat is frozen as Otis lunges at lightning speed, a prehistoric missile of teeth and potential handbags. Wright is armed – with a flimsy-looking stick – and he explains some of Otis’ habits. The saltie sits beside him, every minute or so having another go at moving in on Wright. “Eh, eh mate,” Matt chides him, tapping his snout with the stick. “You’re alright mate, they just wanna get a look at ya.” The cruise continues so that guests can meet Lumpy – a saltie with a deformation in his back. “I think he might’ve got that lump on his back while still in the egg,” explains Matt. Heat and other factors can deform the baby crocodiles, and while all-but indestructible when grown, baby crocodiles only have about a one percent chance of reaching adulthood. Female crocs lay their eggs and flood levels rise and wash away them away. It’s been hectic, but our day of croc pestering isn’t over. Guests take turns at climbing atop the barge to the heli-pad, from which Wright takes them for a spin above the outback. From the air, the region really reveals itself: plains dotted with termite mounds; winding creeks and rivers; swathes of swampland and marsh. The wetland goes on forever below skies that stretch over an ancient tableau. It’s a paradise so beautiful you feel you could eat it up. Swim too long in its waterways, lounge illadvisedly on its banks or capsize your tinnie on a barra-run and it’ll eat you right back.

March/April 2015

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The latest news, information and innovations from the agricultural industry

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RegionalBusinessReview Issue 2 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; April 2015

preservation Sweetening the world we live in, the natural way

motoring

High

Beamin’

PREFER TWO WHEELS TO FOUR? BMW HAS PARACHUTED A BRACE OF NEW BIKES INTO AUSTRALIA.

Christian Bale Batman movies, Beastie Boys, shots of coffee in a shiftworker’s morning espresso: if numbers have taught us anything, it’s that the best things come in threes. Now Bavaria’s finest engineers have continued this trend with a trio of new two-wheelers. The BMW F 800 R, R 1200 R and S 1000 RR 2015 models have landed to throw their weight around the local roadster and sport motorcycle segments. Each model builds on the tantalising unique mix of BMWs innovative technology, performance and safety.

RegionalBusinessReview

motoring

S 1000 RR–MRLP

exterior styling follows form to make this ultimate sports bike instantly recognisable in its 2015 iteration.

“There is no loyalty in the supersport category,” BMW Motorrad president Stephan Schaller told sportrider.com late last year, “if you are not winning, then people are not going to buy your bike.” Thus Shaller unveiled the latest incarnation of the S 1000 RR supersports machine, at Intermot in Cologne, Germany, to re-enter the supersport category. The original RR redefined the meaning of ‘Supersport’ at launch, and the model’s passionate advocates have since ringfenced an impressive 22 per cent share of an extremely competitive market. The 2015 model has significant improvements that must really be experienced viscerally to understand, but even on paper it’s pretty impressive. Output is now 148kW – a bump of 5kW – while max torque is now 130Nm. The overall weight figure has been shaved by four kilos, making the new RR even more agile at just 203 kg fully fuelled – and including ABS. All the control systems have been optimised and adjusted with Teutonic efficiency to offer better handling and a more engaging riding experience. The updated

Factory options:

starts at $22,990 + ORC (all factory options additional)

The Dynamic package includes the following: Dynamic Damping Control – a system that launched on the HP4 in 2012 that has been revised for the RR. DDC continuously adjusts the suspension damping based on many parameters, and so optimises handling in any situation. The Dynamic package also includes heated grips and LED indicators.

R 1200 R–MRL

starts at $21,950 + ORC (all factory options additional) The new R 1200 R upholds BMW’s tradition of comfort, dynamism and capability, at the same time as putting a whole new slant on the marque’s typical approach. Clearly more dynamic and expressive than its predecessor, the 2015 model has been whittled down to the essentials for purist roadster fans: those who want to see every component on display on the motorcyle and seek guaranteed riding pleasure. The R 1200 R’s main drawcards

Clearly more dynamic and expressive than its predecessor, the 2015 model has been whittled down to the essentials for purist roadster fans.

R 1200 R–MRL RegionalBusinessReview

motoring

are its engine running gear performance, touring capability and unrivalled range of equipment options. The R 1200 R is available in several styles to cater for those who love a sporty twist, or prefer to ride with a little extra style.

Factory options: The Touring package comes with onboard computer pro, GPS preparation, main stand, luggage grid and Pannier holders. R 1200 R is available with alarm, keyless ride, gear shift assistant pro and various seat height options.

F 800 R–MRLP

starts at $13,100 + ORC (all factory options additional) The new F 800 R is the latest in the line of dynamic parallel twin-cylinder motorcycles. This bike is all about sport performance,

This bike is all about sport performance, agile handling and versatility.

F 800 R – MRLP

RegionalBusinessReview

agile handling and versatility, with a design pushed to provide a visual showcase to ramp up the rider’s visceral engagement. As well as a new colour palette, this lithe roadster’s dynamism is boosted by newly designed fairings and radiator shrouds as well as the front mudguard and wheels. Sporty upside-down forks ensure improved handling and comfort, at the same time that radial mounted brakes improve control when stopping. In the midsized, naked bike segment, the F 800 R is available with more features than others – ABS and ASC (traction control) systems, ESA (Electronic Suspension Adjustment), RDC (tyre pressure monitoring) as well as heated grips. This is a user-friendly and versatile machine.

Factory options: The touring package features onboard computer pro, GPS preparation, main stand,

luggage, and pannier holders. The F 800 R is available with keyless ride, gear shift assistant pro, sport windshield, alarm and various seat height options.

For more information visit: www.bmwmotorrad.com.au

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agribusiness

We bring you the latest news, innovations and opinions as Aussie agribusiness transitions from the mining boom to the dining boom

meettheproducer

Sweet preservation

FROM THE SLEEPY NORTHERN BEACHES OF SYDNEY, WORDS: RILEY PALMER HANK’S JAM IS SWEETENING THE WORLD WE LIVE IN, NATURALLY, WITH NO REFINED SUGARS OR PRESERVATIVES.

“You can smell Hank’s from a mile away,” says Bernie Rorke, sending the senses reeling with the imagined aromas of honeyed apricots and caramelised onions. “The locals always know what’s cooking for the day.” Bernie’s breezy spirit and unpretentious drawl – renowned by the locals who occupy Sydney’s northern beaches – doesn’t kowtow to the expected disposition of a general manager, let alone the general manager of a company so successful it hardly needs an introduction. And yet, this earnestness is the very same quality on which Hank’s Jam was founded more than 20 years ago, making Bernie the company’s perfect ambassador. While most successful companies are grown from a business framework – a concept, budget and market analysis, Hank’s seemingly happened by accident. Dissatisfied with the range 8

RegionalBusinessReview

and quality of spreads at his disposal, Darlinghurst-based chef Hank started to make his own. While the rest, as they say, is history, the production methods that were established by Hank over 20 years ago are very much a feature of the present. “Our biggest point of difference is that we use an old traditional method,” says Bernie, reflecting on what sets Hank’s apart from its competitors. “Imagine two kettles boiling away on a stovetop, slowly reducing the ingredients. That’s what we do on an industrial scale.” While a lot of massproduced jams and chutneys contain preservatives that expedite and simplify the process by which they set, Hank’s are forced to be far more exacting. “What we do, is cook the ingredients at 85 degrees Celsius and at a certain Brix level,” says Bernie, adding – for us laymen – that Brix is a measure of

“It retains the textures and flavours in the product a lot more intensely than if someone only slightly cooks it and puts preservatives in it. It creates that strong flavour that we’re renowned for.”

meettheproducer

sugar content. “What that does is, it retains the textures and flavours in the product a lot more intensely than if someone only slightly cooks it and puts preservatives in it.” He pauses briefly before saying: “It creates that strong flavor that we’re renowned for.” The downside of this slow reduction cooking method, from a business perspective, is the extensive decrease of the product over the course of a cook – that is, less yield. However Hank’s has never professed to conform to a business model, a fact reinforced by Bernie, who states: “Our products are made at a higher cost, but their quality is a lot better.” In fact, where Hank’s is concerned, it seems capitalism goes out the window altogether. Not only are the producers happy to create premium products at a higher cost, the consumers are also happy to pay a slightly higher price to enjoy them. It’s as though the intense flavours that permeate Hank’s marmalades, jams and chutneys have gone to everyone’s heads, making consumers, chefs, restaurateurs, foodservice businesses and retailers alike, act in opposition to our usual ‘bag-a-bargain’ philosophy.

1. Sourcing produce. “We get quite a lot of our fruit and veggies from the markets at Flemington. We have a guy that goes in there and hand-picks the produce.” 2. Preparing the raw produce. “We go through a company that uses Silverwater jail labour, who peel and cut the oranges, pears and whatnot for us.”

Asked just how far their anti-capitalist indoctrination extends – i.e. the distribution of Hank’s Jam – Bernie laughs, and says: “We’re now serving inflight to Qantas first and business class passengers, and we’ve started shipping over to Qantas lounges in Singapore, Hong Kong and Los Angeles. We’re also in a lot of the major five-star hotels in Sydney, and retailers like Thomas Dux, Harris Farm, Woolworths and David Jones.” After a brief pause, Bernie laughs preemptively. “And a lot of the celeb chefs use our products too, but they wouldn’t want us to name who they were...”

3. Cooking. “Firstly John, our production manager, gets in at 5am and turns on the kettles. Then Flavia, who’s our head cook, oversees the adding of ingredients at certain times throughout the cook – a process that normally takes about four-and-a-half hours.” 4. Filling and capping. “Once it’s cooked, we put it into the hopper on the filling line where we fill and cap the jars. Depending on what size jars we’re filling, this can take from 45 minutes to four hours.” 5. Labelling. “Certain labels, like the big wholesale ones, we put on by hand. But the smaller ones are automated because of the vast volumes involved.” 6. Packing and shipping. “As the orders come in, our storeman hand-packs the deliveries – from little cartons that go to places like David Jones, to big pallets for Qantas. And then we ship them out.”

Bernie Rorke (left), General Manager of Hank’s Jam checks out the produce.

RegionalBusinessReview

agribusiness

Thought for food WORDS: RILEY PALMER

ASK ANY high school graduate what they’re planning on studying in the coming year, and their perennial response is all but guaranteed; business, medicine, sports science, law, engineering, environmental science, and of course, I’m taking a gap year to discover myself. Perhaps it’s a lack of career guidance, or perhaps it’s simply a fear of deviating from the well-trodden career paths laid out before them, but very few high school graduates will tell you that they are hoping to get into agribusiness and food security – something which is altogether baffling considering that agribusiness is currently being heralded as ‘the wave of the future’. Named by professional service firm Deloitte as one of five sectors set to experience above average market growth over the next 10 to 20 years, Australia’s agribusiness sector is expected to be a major source of sustained future wealth for the country. According to Deloitte’s report entitled Positioning for Prosperity? Catching the next wave global markets for agribusiness are forecasted to grow at least 10 per cent faster than global gross domestic product (GDP). Which begs the question; why aren’t our children preparing themselves to ride this impending tidal wave of prosperity? Principal and former student at Marcus Oldham College, Dr. Simon Livingstone believes it has a lot to do with the ambiguity surrounding what agribusiness is. He muses rhetorically; “What is an agribusiness person? Are they

Academics from Australia’s leading institutions clarify what agribusiness actually is, and why it’s such a promising time to be skilled in its vast subject area.

a farmer? Or are they someone up the supply chain?” For a word that is bandied around so frequently, it’s disconcerting to realise you don’t fully understand what agribusiness means. “I see a split between food producers and agribusiness because the skill sets required for both are quite different,” explains Simon. “I see farmers as the food producers, but their business ends at the farm gate. Post-farm gate is where agribusiness begins, and it covers all levels of the supply chain.” The other reason Simon believes undergraduate students in particular

are hesitant to study agribusiness, is that they, along with the broader community, don’t associate agribusiness with a profession. “People like to hedge their bets,” he explains, suggesting degrees like medicine have a clear career trajectory to becoming a doctor or surgeon for instance. “However, whether you’re a banker, a lawyer, a CEO of a meatworks – if you’re working in the agriculture sector, all of these professions I see as agribusiness. It’s a matter of understanding the diverse range of roles within the sector.”

RegionalBusinessReview

agribusiness

Back in my day ’70s

When you unpack what agribusiness is and realise that it in fact encompasses everything from global supply chains and macroeconomics to biofuel production and livestock, all of a sudden it seems to be one of the more risk-averse areas of study. Associate Professor Kim Bryceson from the University of Queensland (UQ) agrees, saying; “If we accept that education provides the building blocks for a well-rounded and successful society, and food is a necessity for sustaining human life – agribusiness education is fundamental to society’s survival.” To that end, it’s probably unsurprising that, while still not the most common undergraduate degree, admissions into agribusiness degrees are on the rise. Just last year Associate Professor at the University of Sydney Robyn McConchie introduced the Bachelor of Food and Agribusiness degree. She says; “In 2014 we enrolled 40 students and in 2015 we have 59 enrolled.” Her colleague Dr Brian Jones reflects on the enrolments, saying; “We knew there was the demand

from the employer side, but weren’t sure whether the enormous opportunities in the industry were apparent to the students choosing a career path and degree,” he pauses before adding, “It seems they are.” Aligning with Deloitte’s forecast of industry growth, Robyn predicts interest in the course to continue to strengthen on account of evolving issues like food security and population growth; diet nutrition and health; food safety and climate change. The success of Australia’s agribusiness sector relies heavily on those with the knowledge and skill sets to traverse its increasingly diverse scope. As Brian says; “Agriculture has always innovated, that hasn’t changed. What has changed is the depth of human knowledge in so many fields.” And with all the innovations and developments taking place across the sector, it’s an exciting time to study agribusiness, and an even more exciting time to be skilled in one (or more) of its diverse specialties.

The word on the street Daphne Sun, Bachelor of Food and Agribusiness, The University of Sydney: Studying both the science and business aspects of food is exactly what I was looking for. In the future, I’d like to develop my own food product, maybe a ‘super meal’ that can help alleviate world hunger. Ashley Rootsey, Bachelor of Food and Agribusiness, The University of Sydney: I’m not sure whether to move towards the business or the science side of food, so this degree is a perfect match for me. It’s been exciting discovering the interrelating nature of my subjects – from chemistry and biology to business and economics – and beginning to apply them to real-world problems.

RegionalBusinessReview

Associate Professor Kim Bryceson, The University of Queensland: When I was an undergraduate student in the late ’70s, agribusiness as it’s currently seen – encompassing the whole industry chain – wasn’t an area of study. For the past 20 years at the University of Queensland, we have taken a ‘whole of chain’ approach, so students have been learning the whole set of business issues along the pathway from paddock to plate; from inputs and service provision all the way through to retail and consumers.

’80s

Dr Simon Livingstone, Marcus Oldham College: Things have changed a lot since I studied here in the mid-’80s. There’s a much greater focus on emerging technologies and marketing, especially in our increasingly globalising society. Our courses also have a greater international focus – we run study tours to places like China and New Zealand to teach about global supply chains and regional produce. I’ve also noticed that we have a lot more female students – where females interested in agriculture might previously have been put off by the idea of living and working on a farm, careers in agribusiness today lend themselves to urban settings too.

’90s

Dr Brian Jones, The University of Sydney: I studied agribusiness in the early ’90s when the challenges and opportunities that we see all around us now were first starting to be discussed. It was also a pretty exciting time, but it was more ‘this train’s coming down the track’, and now the train has well and truly arrived. The changes in agribusiness are no longer academic musings, and it’s really amazing to see how businesses are responding.

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FLAVOURS FROM NEW HAPPENINGS TO FAB PRODUCE, WE UNEARTH THE LATEST TABLETOP TREATS. GOTTA-GET-IT GADGET Lets face it, the only thing more satisfying than tucking into a big pile of tender, smoky ribs, is cooking them on the barbie yourself. In the past, these finger-licking treats have taken up way too much room under the lid. But with the BBQ Rib Rack from the geniuses at Man Law, you can stack your ribs like plates in the dishwasher, meaning you can cook 8 racks and still have room for the snags. BYO bib. For more information visit manlaw-bbq.com.au, RRP: $22

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Masterclass

Lovers of ice cream will appreciate the Argentinian approach to the sweet treat: simple flavours created with quality ingredients. To indulge your passion and learn more, head to a masterclass at Jauja in Melbourne where you can taste all 24 of their artisan offerings and even take your three faves home with you. Held monthly at the heladeria on Lygon Street. Details at heladosjauja.com.au

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FRESH PICKINGS This month we’re loving: Eggplant One of the most versatile yet underrated vegetables, eggplants can be added to curries, replace pasta in lasagna, blended into a babaganoush or stuffed and roasted. Dan Barber, executive chef of Blue Hill in New York and author of The Third Plate likes his smokin’. “At the restaurant, we grill eggplants over carbonised pig bones, infusing them with a smoky, meaty flavour,” he says. “They taste just like barbecue.”

After a long, hot summer of crisp white wines, autumn is the perfect season for rosé. Try Bremerton’s Racy Rosé for a drier style that pairs perfectly with pasta. RRP: $17, bremerton.com.au

Home made

During her debut television series, which screened on SBS recently, actress, opera singer, author and cook Silvia Colloca took viewers on a tour of the kitchens of the Italian villages of her childhood. Her cookbook to accompany the series, Made in Italy, contains over 80 authentic recipes from her homeland showcasing the traditional Italian style of fresh, seasonal produce simply prepared. “I’m not a chef nor even a trained cook,” Silvia admits. “I am simply Italian, and I wish to offer an insight into authentic home cooking.” Made in Italy is out now through Lantern, RRP: $49.99

Destination: Flavour Grampians Grape Escape, May 2–3 Noosa International Food and Wine Festival, May 14–17

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FARMERS’ MARKET

Flemington Farmers’ Market Melbourne, VIC The freshest organic veggies, free range eggs, local lamb and freshly baked loaves of sourdough will all vie for your attention, but those in the know head straight to the Pacdon Park boys for arguably the best pork pies and pork sausages this side of England. Get there early for one of chef Michael’s famous barbie breakfasts. WHERE: 175 Mt Alexander Rd, Flemington WHEN: Every Sunday 9am–1pm

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POSITION PARTNERS DELIVERS HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE Every year, a group of University of Queensland mining engineering students has the opportunity to work with the latest mine surveying technology through a unique arrangement with positioning systems and machine control supplier Position Partners. For the past three years, Position Partners has hosted a practical field survey course for University of Queensland (UQ) second year mining engineering students at the former Wattle Glen Extended open cut mine near Ipswich in western Brisbane. As part of their degrees, UQ mining engineering students are required to complete a module on mine site surveying, designed to give them a basic understanding of surveying practice and technology. Up to 100 students participate in the field course, gaining hands-on experience with technology including Topcon TS robotic total stations, Topcon HiPer SR GNSS receivers and ASC-TEC Falcon 8 multi-rotor

unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). The most recent of these was in October last year, when 70 students were hosted by Position Partners’ survey specialists and technical staff, who provided on-thespot training in these latest systems, and then helped them work through a series of practical exercises. Course co-ordinator Dr Basil Beamish – who also runs his own mining services company, B3 Mining Services – said that in the past, the practical side of the survey module had essentially consisted of taking the students to measure a coal stockpile at the Jeebropilly Mine with tapes and handheld GPS units. “Now having them on a site with all this latest equipment means we were able to run them through various formative surveying exercises, get them familiar with the technology and interact with Position Partner’s technical people,” he said. “The major development with our latest

course was that they were exposed to UAV technology, which is a whole new way things are moving for the mining industry. “From my point of view, it makes my teaching very relevant; they are seeing the next wave of technology as it’s being introduced to the industry. “By the time they graduate, they will be very much aware of all these changes taking place in the industry,” Dr Beamish said. Alan Fetherstonhaugh, Position Partners’ Northern Region Business Manager for Survey, GPS & UAVs, said the company was only too happy to be involved in such teaching courses. “They enable tomorrow’s generation of mining engineers to become familiar with the very latest equipment, technology and trends – which are usually not readily available within universities.” For more information, visit positionpartners.com.au

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Helpful insights and fascinating facts about the Australian mining and resource sector

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2015 Developing Innovative Strategies to Reduce Activity Cost, Improve Operational Efficiencies and Ensure Consistent Productivity

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news+views THE SCIENCE BEHIND INDUSTRY DECISIONS A new partnership between BHP Billiton Petroleum and the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) will give rise to a five-year, $5 million research program to aid in the exploration and protection of the Ningaloo Reef – the largest fringing reef in the world – located off the coast of Western Australia. The program will include both deep and shallow reef research, turtle and shark tagging, a PhD scholarship scheme and opportunities to engage the local community, including BHP Billiton Petroleum employees in Exmouth, WA. BHP Billiton Petroleum general manager Doug Handyside believes that the company’s investment in marine research will aid in its understanding of the reef itself, as well as how to better manage conservation efforts. Through its partnership with CSIRO, BHP Billiton will be able to obtain important

data regarding the condition of the reef. “This,” says Handyside, “enables us to uphold our commitment to operate in the most environmentally responsible manner possible.” The research program is scheduled to commence early this year, backed by a $2.6 million investment by BHP Billiton.

BHP GIVES BACK TO WA BHP Billiton, in conjunction with the Western Australia State Government, has invested $10 million into the creation of a water park to be built at Perth’s riverfront Elizabeth Quay development. The future BHP Billiton Water Park, scheduled to open in the spring of 2015, will provide a free, family-friendly outdoor space for community members to gather and socialise. BHP Billiton iron ore president Jimmy Wilson, along with WA Premier the Hon. Colin Barnett and Minister for Planning the Hon. John Day, revealed plans for the BHP Billiton Water Park

on January 27, 2015. “Investing in this new development is our way of giving back to the people of Western Australia, who have supported our operations for more than 40 years,” said Mr. Wilson. “Elizabeth Quay will be a landmark development that will change the face of Perth and open up the riverfront for more people to enjoy.” Included in the current plans for the water park are a multipurpose, interactive water feature and amphitheatre-style shaded seating. The park layout will allow for event flexibility and be able to accommodate up to 800 guests.

CALL TO END TYRERELATED DEATHS In response to a rise in the number of work-related fatalities, the Queensland Resources Council (QRC) is set to hold a meeting with the country’s top mining companies in order to discuss safety issues. Following the recent death of a

Perth’s riverfront Elizabeth Quay development, artists impression.

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worker at Anglo American’s Dawson coal mine, QRC chief executive Michael Roche is determined to ensure that the industry learns from past mistakes and avoids unnecessary and tragic deaths. “I am utterly sick of hearing about fatalities involving tyre explosions,” Roche said regarding the death at Anglo American’s Dawson mine. This incident is the third such event to occur at an Anglo American mine since last year. Construction Forestry Mining & Energy Union (CFMEU) district boss Stephen Smyth plans to launch a full investigation into these tyre-related fatalities. “All governments and regulators need to start implementing recommendations to these mining companies to prevent these types of incidents,” Smyth says. “It’s unacceptable that one person loses their life.”

This past year was one of the worst for the mining industry in terms of work-related fatalities, with a total of 17 deaths. As of late February this year, four workers have already been killed. The urgency for a re-evaluation of safety procedures in the industry cannot be understated, and the QRC meeting seems to be a decent start to what is sure to be a long process.

LIFE, WORK, PROFIT, DEATH: COPPER COUNTRY Developed by CMX Games, this all-new strategic board game of “area control and resource management” is mining’s Monopoly. Grab one, two or three of your friends and get ready to be transported to the Michigan wilderness in the year

Austmine is proud to announce the launch of its 2015 International Conference and Exhibition – the premier event in Australia’s mining calendar. On the 19th - 20th May, 2015, Austmine and Mining IQ will be holding the next edition of this landmark forum, bringing together the most innovative products in the market with the most pressing challenges in the mining sector around the globe today. The mining industry is currently going through some of the biggest challenges it’s ever seen, but with challenge comes opportunity for those smart enough to take advantage. This event will focus on the roles innovation and technology are playing in the sector to create these opportunities. With over 40 senior level speakers from the leading mining, engineering and service provider firms around the world, plus compelling breakout sessions, panel discussions, interactive workshops and a brand new innovation spotlight forum, Austmine 2015 should be in the diary for anyone working in mining who is committed to the future of the industry. Austmine 2015 will cover a range of topics and issues, including, but not limited to: • Productivity, Automation and Robotics • Bringing Innovations to Mining: Collaborating, Commercialising and Adopting • Mining New Frontiers: Deep, Remote, Offshore and Space • Data and the Arrival of the IT/OT Convergence • Operational Excellence: Delivering Real Value to the Business • Energy Management Across the Entire Operation • Leadership, Safety and Training • Break-out Sessions on the themes of: Underground Mining, Open Cut Mining, Coal, Hard Rock. Specialized focused workshops will also make up a fundamental part of the conference. The workshops sold out in 2013, so make sure you sign up early to secure your place! See more at: austmine2015.com

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NSW APPROVES MINE EXPANSIONS The New South Wales Planning Assessment Commission has approved expansions on both Yancoal Australia’s Moolarben mine and Rio Tinto’s Bengalla mine. The implementation of these projects will potentially increase annual coal output by an additionally impressive 31 million tonnes. The expansion of the Moolarben mine is set to run for the next 24 years and, according to the commission, will provide significant economic benefits though it will require the clearing of 123 hectares of land said to be home to endangered ecological communities and will directly affect almost 150 Aboriginal sites. As for The Drip – a natural sandstone formation located in the region of the proposed expansion – the commission acknowledged the need to secure it prior to any expansion. In regard to the aforementioned drawbacks of the mine expansions, the commission stated: “The residual impacts of the project cover a wide spectrum, but relatively few of them are of major concern.” The benefits of these mine expansions include the addition of millions of dollars in state tax and federal royalties, as well as the creation and extension of thousands of industry jobs.

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IT’S A FACT that mining is an inherently riskier profession than most. While many of us contend with occupational health and safety (OH&S) issues like poor lighting or computer glare, miners are faced daily with the very real danger of an explosion or falling down a shaft. According to data compiled by Safe Work Australia, the fatality rate of mine workers between the 2007–08 and 2011–12 financial years was 3.84 per 100,000 employees – almost 70 per cent higher than the national rate (2.29 per 100,000). This figure doesn’t factor in serious injury or illness, nor does it take into account instances of suicide. Despite the inflated mortality risk for those working in the mining industry, serious claims are actually on the decline, having fallen 51 per cent

between 2000–01 and 2010–11. This improvement is significant, however the consensus remains that more needs to be done. Analysing the 52 fatal mining accidents that occurred in Western Australia from 2000–2012, a report compiled by Western Australia’s Department of Mines and Petroleum – entitled Fatal accidents in the Western Australian mining industry 2000–2012: What lessons can we learn? – identifies clusters and trends surrounding potential causation factors linked to fatality. Whilst the data derives from Western Australia alone, the report’s findings are relevant industry-wide, particularly where they can be used to target prevention. Though many of the commonalities are obvious – such as noncompliance

Despite the inflated mortality risk in the mining industry, serious claims are actually on the decline.

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with safety procedures – many are surprising. For instance, time of day is significant regarding fatalities. The report finds that accidents on mine sites peak between 3pm and 6pm – which happen to be the final three hours of a 12-hour day shift. Spikes also occur around both 11am and 11pm, which, presuming day and night shifts start at 6am and 6pm respectively, is about five hours into a shift. Another peak in the night shift takes place at roughly 3am. The report suggests a correlation between these peaks and both human biorhythms and fitness for work issues.

Workers in all industries experience periods of fatigue and low levels of concentration. However, working at a time when the body is biologically geared to slow down – like 11pm and 3am – exacerbates this existing problem significantly. The report advises mitigating risk of fatigue-related incidents by requiring employees to take breaks at four-hour intervals. Considering state governments across Australia encourage people driving on their roads to take breaks every two hours, it seems concerning that similar guidelines haven’t been imposed upon miners.

Aside from on-site safety, fatigue is a major concern for workers who are required to drive long distances to and from various sites. In 2011, following a coronial inquest into two motor vehicle accidents that resulted in the deaths of Senior Sergeant Malcolm MacKenzie and miners Graham Brown and Robert Wilson, coroner Annette Hennessy stated: “At present, fatigue as an issue sits in an equivalent position to drink driving in the 1970s before the development of the breathalyser and road-side breath testing devices. The development of roadside fatigue detection technology is a matter of

40 30 20 10 0

MINING ALL INDUSTRIES

Safework Australia 2012

CLAIMS PER 1000 EMPLOYEES

Serious claims: Incidence rates by year

2000-01 29.8 17.5

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2001-02 30.6 16.9

2002-03 27.5 16.5

2003-04 26.4 16.4

2004-05 2005-06 24.9 19.9 16.0 15.1

2006-07 20.9 14.5

2007-08 19.9 14.2

2008-09 16.4 13.6

2009-10 16.4 13.1

2010-11 14.6 12.7

2011-12 14.2 12.2

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Serious claims: Incidence rates by jurisdiction

CLAIMS PER 1000 EMPLOYEES

30 25 20 15 10 5 0

2007-08 2008-09 2009-10 2010-11 2011-12

Valid though this recommendation is, the implementation of better fitness for work habits is exceedingly difficult to effect.

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Safework Australia 2012

NSW 32.4 25.3 26.5 23.7 22.9

NT 9. 6 4. 5 1 4. 9 1 3. 9 1 4. 5

Qld 2 0. 9 1 4. 8 1 4. 6 1 1. 2 1 3. 1

time and commitment...” In the interim, fatigue is a safety issue that needs to be addressed systemically on and off mine sites, with both employees and employers being made aware of early warning signs and potential consequences of working while fatigued, and importantly – as suggested in the report – more frequent break periods. The report also recommends that employers promote better fitness for work habits in relation to lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, sleep, drug and alcohol use, hydration and work-life balance. Valid though this recommendation is, the implementation of better fitness for work habits is exceedingly difficult to effect. For instance, the shift-work lifestyle itself is seen to intensify the incidence of unsafe behaviours like drug-taking. In an article published by WorkCover Queensland, it states: “Shift workers often turn to stimulants such as coffee, energy drinks or cigarettes to help them

WA 1 7. 2 1 6. 3 1 4. 6 1 3. 2 12.7

Vic 1 0. 4 8. 3 7. 7 8. 9 9. 9

Tas 25.7 1 7. 8 12.9 1 4. 0 9.4

SA 1 3. 1 1 0. 9 1 6. 1 1 7. 9 9. 2

Aust 1 9. 9 1 6. 4 1 6. 4 1 4. 6 1 4. 2

stay awake and sedatives such as alcohol, sleeping pills and other non-prescription substances to help them sleep.” While drug and alcohol use is perceived as the issue in this instance, fatigue and sleep deprivation underscore it, making it very difficult to know exactly what needs to be targeted. It’s true that many mine sites already engage in random drug and alcohol testing, and that alcohol restrictions are in place in mining regions like the Pilbara. However, mental fitness for work additionally needs to be taken into account, particularly where alcohol or drugs are being used to alleviate mental stressors. Speaking with Australian Mining on the topic, psychologist Cameron Brown says: “We are looking at the safety of the mine in terms of those random drug tests, but it’s not about employee wellbeing.” According to the report by Western Australia’s Department of Mines and Petroleum however,

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employee wellbeing impacts directly on the safety of the mine, making substance abuse a twofold issue. Another major fitness for work concern is the diet and food choices made by miners. At a public lecture held at Edith Cowan University last September, nutrition lecturer Gemma Quayle indicated a relationship between the on-site diet of miners, and their increased risk of chronic disease. Having recently completed a sample study over a three-day period into the diets of 35 men at a mine site in Western Australia, Gemma noted: “The average number of servings of vegetables were below

recommendations, while many were consuming excessive amounts of discretionary food such as processed meats, pastries, fried food and desserts.” Gemma also found that over 80 per cent of the men involved in the study were overweight or obese. While the long-term impacts of being overweight are relatively well known, the more immediate impacts of poor nutrition – such as low levels of concentration and fatigue – aren’t as widely recognised. The Department of Mines and Petroleum’s report cites this as an area of improvement. For anyone who hasn’t

experienced a day in the life of miner, it’s impossible to imagine the impact of working long shifts, living in temporary accommodation in remote communities and conducting physically dangerous and strenuous activities. All of this without the support networks you usually have around you. Although fewer deaths have occurred in recent years, accidents still happen all too frequently. Mining safety needs to progress, because heightened risk of illness, injury and death is still a hefty price to pay for the aboveaverage wages received by the mining industry’s employees.

What did we learn from the fatal accidents in the Western Australian mining industry 2000–2012? • Almost one third of casualties occurred within the first year of a person undertaking a new role. • 49 per cent of fatalities occurred in the first year working at a mine site. • In 89 per cent of fatal accidents, there was either no procedure in place to deal with a perceived hazard, or the procedures were not followed. • Broken down into commodity groups, gold mining accounted for 36.5 per cent of fatalities, followed by iron ore, which accounted for 33 per cent. • There was no pattern to indicate that age was a factor in casualties.

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miningreview

WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT WE EXPLORE THE LATEST IN MIGRATORY ACCOMMODATION AND UNEARTH THE FLOATEL – A LITERAL FLOATING HOTEL THAT IS TO MINING ACCOMMODATION WHAT GLAMPING IS TO CAMPING. WORDS: RILEY PALMER

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miningreview

ast your mind back roughly a year, and you will recall the furore caused when Queensland MP Jo-Ann Miller compared FIFO accommodation to that of concentration camps. Admittedly, parliament is hardly the appropriate time and place for such hyperbole, and the outrage Miller’s comment sparked completely commandeered the focus away from the validity of her actual point – that accommodation provided for FIFO and DIDO miners is inadequate. Miller is not alone in her opinion. It’s a common generalisation, and one that’s becoming increasingly politicised. We are so used to the oratory undermining the integrity of mining accommodation, few of us have stopped to ask the question – is it really that bad?

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The short answer is no. Not all mining accommodation conforms to such a low standard. Pioneering what is sure to be a new trend, Swedish company Floatel International Ltd. has thought outside

The short answer is no, not all mining accommodation conforms to such a low standard. the box – or rather, offshore – to offer the mining industry a modern, safe and comfortable alternative to impermanent housing, such as mine camps and villages. Established in 2006, Floatel International owns and operates a

fleet of dynamically positioned (DP) semisubmersible accommodation and construction- support vessels, more colloquially referred to as floatels. These floatels are designed specifically for the whole offshore operation – accommodation being a major part of that. Of course, the obvious downfall of floatels is that they do require a body of water in which to be moored. Thankfully for Australian mining company Chevron this has been an incentive rather than a hindrance – saving them space and resources onshore to accommodate other components of the Gorgon liquefied natural gas (LNG) project; Australia’s biggest resources project. Under significant pressure to boost productivity in the face of unbudgeted costs such as the falling Australian dollar and extreme weather delays, Chevron

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miningreview

Fast facts: • Western Australia alone has 87 ghost towns. Most of them were former mining towns. • The mineral booms of the 1800s provided jobs for up to 17 per cent of Australia’s workforce. have been keen to increase their staff base and boost productivity to ensure the LNG project can actually get underway. Enter the floatel. Speaking with Business Insider Australia in November last year, Chevron chief financial officer Pat Yarrington said; “We have secured – I guess I would call it a floatel. We have got the capacity over the next several weeks to bring, over time, about 1,200 additional workers to the island to work on the MEI that is underway that needs to be done in the next year.” Due to be moored off Western Australia’s Barrow Island, the ‘Floatel Endurance’ – Floatel International’s fourth vessel – is contracted to be built by Keppel FELS Ltd. This Singaporebased company are customising the ‘Silja Europa’, a passenger ferry that formerly traversed between Finland and Estonia.

Far from the bleakness of a concentration camp, the ‘Floatel Endurance’ boasts facilities you might look forward to on a holiday. Specifically modified for Chevron, the boat is equipped with recreational facilities including a cinema, internet café, games room, gym, sauna, reading room and restaurant. Not to mention that all contractors are allocated their own room with a television. While Chevron’s primary incentive for installing the floatel is productivity, it secondarily addresses a problem that has long cast a dark shadow over Australia’s cyclic mining booms. While we all get caught up in the economic impact of a mining downturn, people who have settled and invested in these towns are greatly disadvantaged by the mass exodus following mine closures. We need only look to the various ghost towns that pepper the

Australian countryside; Cossack, Leonora and Kanowna to name a few. These towns act as haunting reminders that mining towns can be as transient as the wayfaring workers who inhabit them. A floatel is impermanent from the outset. There is no guise of longevity. Not only that, it doesn’t leave anything in its wake – not even the ghostly remains of a ghost town. Australia isn’t the first country to utilise floatels where itinerant workers are required in the mining of oil and gas. In 2013 Scotland’s Shetland Islands became home to three floatels. Providing some 1,000 extra beds for its workers, these vessels were largely regarded as a comfortable home away from home, even in the face of the harsh conditions and unrelenting winds typical of this region. With its reading room, cinema and sauna, it’s certainly not hyperbole to suggest the accommodation provided on the ‘Floatel Endurance’ is the absolute antithesis to an inhospitably bleak concentration camp. Finally allowing FIFO workers the living arrangements they deserve. RegionalBusinessReview

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investment

Top tips from the experts on how to make the most of your hard-earned cash

Your home. Our backyard. We understand that selling any home is always a big step. At Raine & Horne we build our business on understanding who you are and the passion and enthusiasm you have for where you live. We believe in working together in an integrated, consistent and smart way to get the best results. From start… to sold. You can be sure that Raine & Horne has the energy to move your place. Fast. We’ve been helping Australians for over 130-years. Now we’d like to help you. So visit rh.com.au to find your nearest agent, search properties and find useful and up-to-date information that will help you make the right decision.

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investment

MAKING MILLIONS WITH MESITI PAT MESITI, SELF-MADE MULTIMILLIONAIRE AND ACCLAIMED INCOME ACCELERATION COACH, SHARES TIPS ON HOW TO FOSTER GOOD MONEY HABITS AND EXPLAINS THE DIVERSITY OF INCOME STREAMS AVAILABLE TO US ALL. WORDS: RILEY PALMER

You believe

anyone with the correct tools can become prosperous, but what are the more common bad money habits people tend to adopt? The first bad habit people have, is they don’t establish a good habit. The second bad habit, is that people don’t tell their money where to go – they don’t allocate it, and then they wonder where it went. But the worst thing people do, is spend first and invest last, when they need to invest first and then spend. People also tend to overspend – so they spend money they don’t have, on things they don’t need. What are some alternatives to property investment? People can invest in small business. For example, they can go on eBay and create an online business with sales and residual income. My biggest tip is they can monetise knowledge. If you think about most of the great speakers and presenters, whoever they are – Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar – they sell knowledge and people pay for it. I think the other thing is learning to invest in things like stocks and bonds. The stock market can scare people, but if you develop a financial education and use a

controlled strategy it can increase your wealth significantly. People can also join network-marketing groups that can create great residual incomes. What might an investment portfolio for someone with a high disposable income look like? The first thing they need is a diverse property portfolio that spans across various states in Australia. They should also look at investing in a range of shares and stocks. The key to creating wealth is diversifying, because if something falls down here, you can pick it up over there. Don’t just do one thing. What is the difference between good and bad debt? Bad debt is investing in depreciable assets – cars, clothes, holidays. I’m not saying don’t spend money on them, but know they are depreciable assets. Good debt is using debt to leverage yourself. For example, investing at a low-interest rate and reinvesting at a high-interest rate, or buying a property that is going to double in value in the next six to 10 years.

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investment

What’s the secret to getting rich? Someone asked me the other day: “How do you get rich quick?” I replied, “You don’t. You get rich slow.” People today are in such a hurry, that many of them buy into get-rich-quick schemes. The key is to invest over the long-term – anything you invest in over time will give you returns. For example, your relationships. Many people want a great relationship, but that doesn’t happen unless you invest some time into it. It’s the same with money. What do people need to understand about superannuation? Let me tell you the eighth wonder of the world: compound interest. If you can put a little bit aside now, eventually, by the

time you’re 60 to 70 years old, you’re going to have millions. Most people wait until they’re far too old, and then they panic. The best thing with any investment is to start early. The best thing you can do is get some good advice on where to invest your money in the super fund. Personally, I have a self-managed super fund, because I want to be the one controlling the money. And I wish I’d done it earlier to be honest, it was a big lesson I learned far too late. The stock market instils a lot of fear in a lot of people. Is this fear valid? It’s valid because people only hear the news – they don’t study and investigate the stock market. Most of us fear what we don’t understand. You don’t want to

Top 10 property investment tips from General Manager of the NSW and ACT branches of NAB Private Wealth, Jason Murray. 1. Do your research by suburb and property type. Get all the data you can in advance. 2. Surround yourself with good advisors, particularly those with a holistic view of your investment objectives who are not just interested in the next transaction. 3. View several properties before you commit to buy anything. 4. Where borrowing is involved, start the conversation early. 5. When planning ahead for cash flow purposes, be conservative. Plan for tenancy gaps, and set aside a safety net for unexpected repairs and maintenance. 6. Do not fall into the trap of purchasing a property if the assumption of a short-term capital gain is required to make the economics stack up, no matter how likely that may seem. 7. When purchasing from a developer, ensure they have a good track record. Find out the price and performance of previous developments they have completed. 8. Some investors buy in one suburb and become local experts – with multiple properties that can be easier to manage. Others diversify across suburbs, states, and even countries, and put in place strong managing agents. Think about your own philosophy upfront when deciding which type of investor you are. 9. Generally, plan on holding a property for at least five to seven years, to make the transaction costs in and out worthwhile. 10. Don't ever buy property on impulse, particularly at auction.

RegionalBusinessReview

investment

Technology has opened a great door for us to create great wealth – for instance eBay, online marketing, investing in new technologies, and buying and selling websites.

RegionalBusinessReview

be speculating in the stock market, you want to be informed in your investments. The key is to get a financial education and remember everything goes in bends and curves. It’s like having kids – you’re scared until you learn how to raise them. How does investing in yourself affect greater financial returns? I look at people who have lost money, for example the Mike Tysons of our world. His income was great, but he didn’t grow as a person and, consequently, lost $400 million. You need to grow yourself to be able to contain your money. And make no mistake – your associations equal your assimilations. One of the biggest hindrances to people’s wealth is who they hang around with. Most people get advice on property from their neighbour or barista. Get a financial

education from someone who is an expert. Where should individuals go to obtain a financial education? Go to a financial advisor that’s making money, not one that’s just making money on your commissions. It’s easy to spend another man’s money, so ask your advisor where they’re investing their money. How is technology changing the way we invest our money? Technology has opened a great door for us to create great wealth – for instance eBay, online marketing, investing in new technologies, and buying and selling websites. My advice is, if you’re going to invest in something like a start-up, make sure you’ve got a guaranteed return. Always ask yourself this question: How much am I prepared to lose?

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