Cultivate Hope; Grow Resilience

cultivate hope

GROW RESILIENCE

cultivate hope;

GROW RESILIENCE

By NATURAL HIGH STAFF

Young kids are notorious for having big dreams and ambitions. Whether it’s for a new hamster, a trip to Disneyland, or a kickflip on a skateboard, kids spend a lot of time imagining and planning for their future.

Of course, sometimes their dreams are outlandish — think about the little kid who wants a farm filled with unicorns. Sometimes their dreams are unrealistic — the kid who wants to become a YouTube star, never hold a job, and live at the beach with all their friends when they grow up.

Dreaming, it turns out, is more than just a sweet thing kids do when they’re young — it becomes a critical part of overall wellbeing.

Hope, as defined by the researchers at Alliance for Hope, is “the belief that your future can be brighter than your past and you play a role in making it happen”.

In other words, when you’re feeling hopeful, you are confident that tomorrow will be better than today. Feeling hopeful makes whatever you’re going through today more tolerable, and the anticipation you feel for the future enables you to endure whatever challenge gets in your way.

Hope is a simple concept to understand, especially when you consider the opposite: hopelessness.

You know about hopelessness, right? It’s the feeling you get on Sunday afternoon when you know you’re going to spend most of your week in pointless meetings that you can’t get out of. It’s the feeling you get about your health when you don’t stick to your plans to exercise more and eat healthier foods.

Hopelessness translates into a desire for escape. It’s too uncomfortable to feel hopeless, and the emotions of regret, shame, disappointment, sadness, and anger can drive people to activities that will numb their pain.

The encouraging news is that hope is something that we can cultivate and encourage. It acts as a protective factor against harmful substance use and is a key indicator for wellbeing and academic success.

Kids who are hopeful about their future will do better in school, have stronger relationships, make the transition to adulthood more efficiently, and make healthier choices along the way.

HOW TO CULTIVATE HOPE

Feeling hopeless is a miserable experience. Whether you’re feeling hopeless about your relationship status, friendships, career path, or your health, most people would say it’s one of the worst experiences of being human.

The good news is that hope is like a muscle — it can be exercised and strengthened. You’re not born with a fixed amount of hope. It’s not given out in limited quantities, and it doesn’t evaporate over time.

Although some people are born with a more optimistic outlook than others, anyone can become a hopeful person.

Charles Snyder was one of the key figures in developing pop psychology in the 1970s and 1980s. He developed what’s known today as Snyder’s Hope Theory which includes a framework for understanding and cultivating hope, as well as measuring how much hope someone carries within themselves.

He distinguishes different parts of hope and explains the thinking that underlies each one: Hope Pathways Hope pathways are about seeing multiple pathways to achieve your desired future. In other words, believing deep down that your goal is possible and achievable.

Hope Agency

Hope agency is about seeing yourself as a critical piece and driver towards your desired future. In other words, believing that you have the power and ability to make the steps and changes necessary. It’s saying to yourself, “I can do it — I have what it takes.”

CULTIVATING HOPE

When it comes to cultivating hope, Snyder’s theory creates the foundation for proper goal setting. It’s one thing to ask people to come up with things they want in life, but too often their desires are left as wishful thinking that lacks any real benefit.

To help someone cultivate hope, guide them to describe the type of future they want, and help them design the path to get there by creating specific activities they can engage in to make progress.

Here’s an activity to help kids with goal-setting called Designing Your Future: https://www.naturalhigh.org/wp-content/ uploads/2021/11/Designing-Your-Future.pdf.

Use the example of improving your health: it’s one thing to set a goal to become healthier, but it’s more powerful to help someone think through the different paths they can take in order to make healthier choices overall.

There are many factors that lead to improved health including exercising more regularly, eating a healthier diet, getting more sleep, processing feelings in productive ways, and spending more time outdoors, etc.

That’s a different process, and it leads to more resilience which is a key measurement to understanding someone’s level of hope. When someone can only see one way to achieve their goal or feels like they have no part to play in moving forward, then their experience of life becomes more like a victim than a participant.

Victims feel small, insignificant, forgotten, and helpless. Those internal states often lead people to make unhealthy and unwise choices.

People with high hope, though, respond differently to setbacks and challenges. They understand roadblocks as a part of the process, not the end of the story.

So, when it comes to working with kids, we can lead them to think through what they want, what they will do to get what they want, and alternative routes to getting what they want.

They will be clearer about their future, and they will see themselves as key actors in the story that’s unfolding, strengthening their motivation and resolve along the way.

HOW TO MODEL A HOPE-FILLED LIFE FOR KIDS

When it comes to making a positive impact in a kid’s life, there’s nothing more effective than what you model and demonstrate. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done!

You’ve heard the phrase a thousand times before, “It’s not what’s taught — it’s what’s caught that counts.” Kids watch and learn from adults, for better and for worse. In fact, if you’re going to err on one side, the evidence points towards emphasizing the example you give rather than the words and concepts you teach.

HERE ARE THREE SPECIFIC WAYS YOU CAN MODEL A HOPE-FILLED LIFE FOR THE KIDS IN YOUR WORLD: 1. Share Your Hope

Make sure you’re sharing about what you’re striving towards. Most of the time, kids aren’t going to care to ask you about your personal ambitions and goals. No surprise there —kids are more used to receiving than engaging. They also probably don’t care about you because they’re more focused on their own lives.

That’s why it’s important for you to take the initiative to share with them the goals you’re working towards. Don’t assume they know. Trust that it matters. If you’re working on an academic goal, maybe a graduate degree or a professional certificate — tell them about it and the work you’re doing to achieve it.

If you’re working on a personal goal, perhaps around your desire to give back to the community or a character trait— let them know what you’re working on and what you’re doing.

2. Divulge Your Setbacks

One of the most important examples you can offer is how you respond to setbacks and challenges. If you’re truly filled with hope, and you’ve anticipated multiple setbacks and routes to achieve your goals, then you should have no problem talking about them when they arise. When kids can see adults push through setbacks with creativity and resolve, then they’ll be more encouraged to face their own challenges in similar ways.

3. Celebrate Progress

Having a hope-filled life isn’t just about crossing the finish line of your goals and ambitions, it’s about recognizing the importance of all the little steps along the way. If you have a goal to publish a book someday, then celebrate writing a paragraph. Each paragraph is progress and a sign that you have what it takes to keep going.

Let the kids in your life know what you’re feeling proud of and grateful for. They will see behind the scenes what accomplishing a goal really looks like, and your enthusiasm to keep after it will be contagious.

By opening your life and sharing what you’re going through, you’ll make it normal for kids to see engaged, healthy adults who are moving forward on dreams and ambitions rather than accepting whatever life hands them.

Your life will be an encouragement to do the same: to pursue worthy goals, make progress each day, confront setbacks with tenacity, and celebrate the milestones to get there. ■

By opening your life and sharing what you’re going through, you’ll make it normal for kids to see engaged, healthy adults who are moving forward on dreams and ambitions rather than accepting whatever life hands them. Your life will be an encouragement to do the same; to pursue worthy goals, make progress each day, confront setbacks with tenacity, and celebrate the milestones to get there.

Check out who’s standing out in our community.

IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE?

Please visit http://achcmi.org/student-nomination-form/ and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.

Olivia Smiertka HOLLY MIDDLE SCHOOL, 8TH GRADE Olivia is an amazing and caring individual who is very involved in the Holly community. In school, she is an active member of STAND, engaging in peer-to-peer education and Red Ribbon Week. She is a member of Student Light House Leadership Team and NJHS because her academics are important to her. Outside of school, she volunteers at Quality of Life Senior Day Care with crafting and piano, Faith in Action of Oakland County doing yard cleanup, and for Mission Possible helping install handicap ramps and safety bars for veterans to live safely in their homes. Olivia always goes above and beyond. We are all proud to have her as a part of our Holly Area Community Coalition.

Jordan Aaron LAMPHERE HIGH SCHOOL, 9TH GRADE Jordan is Madison Heights Community Coalition’s student representative and is an exceptional student who is filled with motivation to help his classmates with their mental health as they endured the negative effects of COVID. We first met Jordin at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, where he shared his concerns for his classmates and friends. He was an instrumental part of building the coping kits that went out to all middle school students. Jordan has attended the mid-year conference at CADCA where he has learned to be a change agent in our community. We are excited to hear Jordan’s plans and ideas for the upcoming schoolyear.

Jolie Oleshansky & Alexa Kessler BLOOMFIELD HILLS HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE This dynamic duo joined the Youth Action Board as freshman and have been providing amazing energy and leadership ever since! Alexa and Jolie stepped up their commitment to leadership positions on the YAB in their sophomore year as Community Outreach Officers and in their junior year as Co-Vice Presidents. They are slated to lead the YAB in their senior year. They share their time and talents with the BBCC, YAB, and other organizations, including student leadership at school and at their faith organizations, Model UN, Key Club, KidsRead2Kids, Kindness Matters, Bottomless Toy Chest, and Repair the World. Our growth and momentum are due in large part to the combined efforts, positive example, kindness, and leadership these two have shown.

Alexandra Cox PREVENTION PROGRAM SPECIALIST, ALLIANCE OF COALITIONS FOR HEALTHY COMMUNITIES Alexandra joined the Alliance in May 2022 and is directly responsible for working with youth, schools, college, and other community sectors to implement substance-free activities with a strong focus on mental health. She is a lead trainer in ReNEWed and Botvin Lifeskills. She is a graduate of Central Michigan University with a BS in Psychology and a minor in Community Health. Fun fact: she just got a new puppy, a fox red labrador retriever! She can be reached at acox@achcmi.org

Skyla Olson PREVENTION PROGRAM COORDINATOR, ALLIANCE OF COALITIONS FOR HEALTHY COMMUNITIES Skyla Olson joined the Alliance in August 2022 as the newest member of the Prevention Program team! She will be working with the team to support youth activities and programs to decrease youth substance misuse. She is a recent graduate of Western Michigan University where she obtained her BA in Family Studies and Sociology. Fun fact: She is working on her Masters in Social Work and had an adorable pitbull named Blu! Skyla can be reached at solson@achcmi.org

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior.

Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start.

Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.

Turn the page to learn more!

The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute® , 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.

assets in action 40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

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Family supporting each other at Shatter the Stigma event June 4, 2022

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Huron Valley Youth Coalition Representative with the coalition team

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Life Skills Training with Pontiac youth group at summer camp

RAHCC working alongside local youth

SUPPORT

1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.

EMPOWERMENT

7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.

BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS

11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME

17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.

If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email jbrenner@achcmi.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.

Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.

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COMMITMENT TO LEARNING

21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.

POSITIVE VALUES

26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

SOCIAL COMPETENCIES

32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

POSITIVE IDENTITY

37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.

Students eager to learn in South Lyon

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Madison Heights youth at CADCA Mid-Year Lakes Area explained dangers of drunk driving at ZooFest

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Fun at camp with NOCC.