What Children Really Need

By Kelly Ackerman, LCPC

or just a moment, close your eyes and let your mind wander back to childhood. What is it you remember growing up with the family you had? Stay there for as long as it takes to really identify what feeling is deeply rooted in your growing up: happy, sad, angry, afraid, worried, ashamed? The truth is you cannot change it, nor could you hand pick the family in which your memories were made which gave root to the overall feeling of your childhood.

Now, allow yourself to place those memories carefully back in the places of the mind from which you found them. Take a few deep breaths and transition into your role as a parent. Close your eyes and focus on your family now, especially your children and call to mind what memories you would like them to look back upon and what feeling you would wish them to recall in 15-20 years. In this space, know that you have some power to actively participate in the forming of these memories with your children. As you ponder, think about some foundational key elements in actively creating memories with your children that both you and your child can recall with fondness, love, and happiness. F

PRESENCE This word encompasses the daily manner in which when your children are telling you about their day, no matter how dramatic, you are looking them in the eyes and are captured by their feelings and the important details in a way that you won’t forget them. You have interest in their daily actions, their friendships, their experiences at school and with their siblings without having to solve problems, but could confidently summarize exactly what they share with you. Additionally, presence means you meet them in their lives in the places that matter: school performances, sporting events, art shows, etc. Your presence sends the message, “I care about you enough to see you and celebrate who you are.” Presence is being physically, emotionally and mentally attending.

As a therapist, the most common desire of all kids I see is wanting their parent(s) to play with them every day. The good news is that play can be experienced during a child-centered time or during a time when it is time to do the spring cleaning in the yard.

PLAY Whether your child is one or 17, play creates a mutual joy in which laughter springs forth and quality time is shared. Tap in to your inner child to connect through creativity, humor, silliness during this extraordinary time to bond and create the lasting shared pleasure that all of us need. As a therapist, the most common desire of all kids I see is wanting their parent(s) to play with them every day. The good news is that play can be experienced during a child-centered time or during a time when it is time to do the spring cleaning in the yard.

MEALS In the rush of the day, meals can be challenging. Yet, at meal time, all the tasks and demands of the day can be set aside and the company of each other can be enjoyed. It is a time to unplug and model that true self-care means taking the time to fuel our bodies with nutritious food and in the company of those we most love. This important ritual sets an important pace for the day whether it be the time we begin our day or the time in which we all return together to check in and share each other’s company. In silence, or in laughter, meal time allows for daily organization that is an essential self-care practice and sends the message of reconvening as a family is a priority.

READING Sharing a book is bonding in which imagination, exploration of ideas, and growth of self are experienced within the safety of a close, loving relationship. Although bedtime stories are often associated with childhood, this tradition can carry throughout high school although it may need to be modified at times due to the change or schedules and routines. My children are now teens and we continue bedtimes stories regularly, setting days in which we can all agree to be home together. Reading opens new worlds and experiences while creating memories of feeling safe and loved.

LOVE The most important message to send is one of love. Love comes from sharing an unconditional positive regard toward your child(ren) no matter what is experienced. Often as parents we are flooded with fears of “what ifs” and thoughts that our children need to meet certain standards to be successful. Finding security within the relationship of parent(s) regardless of the mistakes made, the accomplishments experienced (or lack of ), and genuinely sharing emotions that can be gently held, communicates the love that will last lifetime, leaving positive feelings when our children close their eyes and look back. ■

ANACONDA SCHOOL DISTRICT GAME CHANGERS

Shannon Matosich Instructional Coach

Shannon was born and raised in Anaconda, Montana, and has been teaching in some capacity since 1994. She has served as a librarian, with mental health services, and an elementary/junior high teacher primarily in the subjects of Reading and English. The past two years Shannon has transitioned into the role of an instructional coach where she mentors other teachers and helps both new and veteran educators with best teaching practices.

When asked what Shannon’s favorite part of being an instruction coach was she said, “She loves working with so many teachers and seeing the great things they are doing in their classrooms.” She admits that having been a classroom teacher before, she knew what some teachers were doing, but to see so many great practices happening concurrently for the students was amazing. It is Shannon’s hope that when her colleagues think about her that they understand how much she cares and is there to support them. Being a part of a new program and being able to help teachers is a special process and Shannon has been honored to be a part of both.

The legacy that Shannon hopes to leave is one built upon that of relationships with her prior students and the teachers she has worked with. She wants each of these individuals to know how much she cares about them and that she always has only wanted the best for each of them. Leading through positivity and being there for those who need her is how Shannon operates and believes it will create a legacy she will be proud to have created. When asked what was something that a lot of people might not know or perhaps misunderstand about being in the role of an instructional coach Shannon stated that “Time” is always an issue. “You have to be flexible and roll with what is needed.” A typical schedule is not plausible when working in multiple buildings. Thank you Shannon for all you have done for our students and still continue to do indirectly in working with the teachers of the Anaconda Public School District!

Diana Leimbach Speech Paraprofessional

Diana has been with the Anaconda School District for five years. The last four years she has been a speech paraprofessional and works with students and assists with things such as speech articulation, screenings, reporting, and helps with IEPs when needed.

Diana has been a part of many student achievements, but one of her most fond memories is that of a student who struggled to be able to read and communicate. She helped this student not only learn ways to communicate but now has helped this student to be able to read and express their needs where once this student was almost completely nonverbal. When asked how this made Diana feel knowing she had an impact like this with the student, she described it as “simply amazing.”

It is Diana’s hope that when others think about her and the job she does that everyone would know how much she loves and cares for the students she serves. Diana is the type of selfless team-player that is willing to take on any task and always looks to find the positive in the job. Her colleagues praise her work ethic and reiterated how lucky they are to have her as part of the team at Lincoln Primary. She is the type of intangible person who can do everything! Diana we thank you for your service with our students. We are all proud to call you part of the Anaconda Team!

ANACONDA SCHOOL DISTRICT GAME CHANGERS

Daren Novak Paraprofessional

Daren has worked in the Anaconda Public School District for the past five years. He is a paraprofessional who works primarily with high needs students and those on behavior plans. Daren loves working with his students and working toward building relationships with all of the students he serves. He stated that each student he serves is different and has unique needs. Daren prides himself in building relationships with his students in order that he can best help them and find out how he can meet their individual educational needs.

One of Daren’s greatest attributes is the fact he has the ability to go into any classroom or approach any situation with any student and help a student calm down or de-escalate in a safe manner because of the training he has and the relationships he has formed with the students in the school. When asked about the legacy Daren wants to create for himself he replied that he simply wants his students to know how much he cares about them and that he is there to help them always find success. Regardless of any situation or what might have happened in the past, Daren wants his students to find the best version of themselves and understand they are capable of achieving anything they are willing to work toward.

One thing that Daren wants people to understand about being a paraprofessional is the balance required in dealing with students in this sort of position. Since every student is different, each requires a different level of help given the situation and what students are enduring. Being empathetic and understanding each child’s specific needs are crucial for their success. Daren, we thank you for all of your time and dedication to each student you serve. You are a role model and a wonderful asset to the Anaconda Team!

Kim Stoddard District Psychologist

Kim has been a school psychologist for seven years, the last two of which, have been with Anaconda School District. Her job includes collaborating with administrators and teachers and working with students across the district. When asked what her favorite part of her job is she stated, “I love interacting with kids and seeing their progress.” Much of Kim’s time is spent testing students to see where their best placements would be in order that teachers can best educate them so the students can be successful.

Kim was asked what she felt was her greatest accomplishment thus far was and she was adamant that her work on the crisis response team was crucial for handling issues such as suicide and violent threats. The community of Anaconda knows these issues all too well and prior to Kim’s time with the district there really was not much in the form of a plan when issues such as this became reality. It is Kim’s hope that her legacy here in the Anaconda School District would be one where she was able to make a difference and that she was part of a team that implemented processes that worked for students and their mental health.

When asked what was something that a lot of people might not know or perhaps misunderstand about being a school psychologist Kim stated that she felt a lot of people feel as though school psychs only test students. School psychologists can also lead evaluations, conduct counseling sessions for individual students or for groups, they can help with curriculum, they deal in crisis management, and other interventions. Thank you Mrs. Stoddard for making the lives and education of the students in Anaconda a better one!