Occupational Therapy and the Parent/Child Connection: Activities and Strategies for the Developing Child and Adolescent

by Emily Washut, MOTR/L

As a Pediatric Occupational Therapist, I have been lucky enough to work with many families and parents – each as unique as the child I’m working with. I stress the importance of carry over in the home setting to ensure the strategies and skills we address in therapy are reinforced to increase success and independence. This may be as simple as utilizing a visual schedule in the home to help with transitions with a morning routine or the use of tight squeezes and “big hugs” from the parent to give their child increased deep pressure input when they’re showing signs of their sensory system being out of balance. This also requires the promotion of a healthy and positive parent (caregiver)/child relationship and stresses the importance of connection for regulation, learning, and the ability to thrive in different environments and at different stages and ages.

Self-regulation is frequently addressed and discussed in my field. As more extensive research is done behind the neurology of connection and child development, new programs are being implemented and developed to support the child, family, and professional to increase successes, attain new skills, and refine existing skills. Many of these pertain to social-emotional development – especially throughout childhood.

Another “angle” where Occupational Therapists have a unique take on parent/ child connection is through extensive knowledge of childhood and brain development. This knowledge provides us with the ability to help parents in parenting through a place of appropriate developmental timelines while also promoting connection. For example, some children may show a “chronological age” far superior to their developmental and regulatory skills. In these instances, we help parents take things back to a more developmental level to look at the bigger picture and to help make these connections in a place where the child better understands and is successful before increasing expectations or parenting requirements. Each strategy and “game plan” is unique to each child and family.

The American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA) notes the acknowledgement of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) to “prepare the children of today to be productive, caring, and responsible citizens”. Where does this start? Connection throughout childhood. This begins to develop in utero and lasts not only throughout childhood, but throughout the lifespan. All 50 states in the United States have even developed SEL standards for preschool programming, only further highlighting the importance of these foundational skills in being a successful peer, friend, family member, coworker…the list is endless.

One of my personal favorite programs is the “Positive Discipline” program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. This program utilizes a tool referred to as “Connection before Correction”. This particular tool addresses the importance of connection to establish a trust and a feeling of safety before the child is open to successful correction. Also popular is the “connection before regulation” saying that’s been seen floating around so many OT and parenting websites. Basically, before a child can be open to correction, open to regulating their sensory system (this can look different for every child, sensory processing and sensory processing disorder is something many children I see struggle with and regulation before expectations is huge), this connection must be established and in place.

So how do we develop these connections? Like I stated above, it starts early and the importance of connection doesn’t stop as our children age. There are MANY different strategies and activities than the ideas I’ll give here, so please…take these, make them your own.

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN

Simple, but can be so difficult to do in the world we’re currently living in. As adults and parents, we have responsibilities that need tending to (sometimes immediately), but when we look at the importance of connection with our children we have to look at what this means. Being able to put your phone in a drawer or out of sight in the time it takes to do an activity or have a conversation with your child promotes eye contact, engagement, and sends the message of “you are most important” is huge.

SNUGGLE THOSE BABIES

There has been extensive research in the area of physical touch and brain development in infants. I’ve also found this can be very generational. You may have to kindly tell grandma, that no, you’re not going to “spoil” your child; you’re simply helping them promote healthy connections and relationships.

CARVE OUT SPECIAL TIME

As a mom to a vibrant and hysterical twoyear old, I’ve been lucky to focus solely on her, as she’s our first (and currently only) child. No matter what your family makeup is, it is important to have special time, special routines, or special one-on-one time with each of your children to promote connection and growth.

SHOW INTEREST

Adolescents and teenagers can be a tough age group to really feel connected to as they develop and establish their independence. However, it is important to check in and establish an open rapport and conversation without fear of judgment. This will look different for everyone, but by showing interest in his or her life, friends, and his or her interests, that parent/child connection can still exist and thrive.