Understanding and Addressing Anxiety

understanding and addressing ANXIETY By KRISTINA DUKART, LCSW, Intermountain Child & Family Therapist

Have you ever ridden a rollercoaster? Maybe you get excited standing in line, feeling the butterflies in your stomach before feeling a little tug in your chest as you sit down and buckle in. As the ride starts maybe you panic a bit, holding your breath as the car climbs higher. Then, as you plummet toward the ground, your breath comes out in a whoosh as you scream, in terror or delight. As the ride slows, so does your heart rate. As you unbuckle, your breath becomes steady and you find safety back on solid ground.

If this scenario resonates, you have officially experienced anxiety.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), anxiety impacts roughly 40 million Americans a year. What you might not know is, our brains develop to have anxiety. That’s right! Anxiety is natural and is meant to keep us safe.

WE ALL EXPERIENCE ANXIETY

For early humans, constant vigilance was a must for dangerous surroundings – to escape threatening situations and to provide food and shelter. Because of this, our brains have learned to scan our surroundings for real or imagined threats to our physical and emotional safety. This has created a nervous system primed to keep us safe.

HOW ANXIETY IS HELPFUL

When experiencing a stressful event, our brain signals our body to fight, flight, or freeze. This response system is one of the first to develop while we are in the womb and helps us hit the brakes to avoid danger in our car or gives us an adrenaline boost to run from physical threats.

When our brains never take a break - when they constantly perceive threats without allowing our thoughts or our body to relax, anxiety becomes an issue.

WHEN ANXIETY BECOMES AN ISSUE

If you or your family hadn’t experienced heightened anxiety before this year, it is likely you are experiencing it now. But how do you know if what you, your child, or a loved one is feeling, is anxiety? And if it is anxiety, how do you know when to seek help?

When our brains never take a break – when they constantly perceive threats without allowing our thoughts or our body to relax, anxiety becomes an issue.

Balancing home and work may have increased irritability, difficulty concentrating, rapid heartbeats and fear. In children you may see increased anger, avoidance of specific tasks, difficulty focusing, and increased fears or nightmares. If allowed to grow, these life changes can increase anxiety to unhealthy levels. So, before you get there…

HOW TO MANAGE ANXIETY

One of the first steps to managing anxiety is naming it. Dan Siegel, Ph.D., co-author of The Whole Brain Child, calls this, “Name It to Tame It.” Emotions might be confusing for those whose brains and language skills have not developed enough to fully understand or express what they are experiencing.

IN CHILDREN

Helping your child, make sense of their emotions by assigning words to their feelings, while also trying to figure out what might have triggered those feelings, can help them to control their anxiety.

IN YOURSELF

Recognize your own emotions and call them out too. Model for your child how to name your feelings, out loud, and having a conversation with these feelings. This can further help your child understand their own experiences and give you both a sense of control over anxiety.

IN GENERAL

If naming feelings out loud isn’t decreasing the anxiety, it might be a good time to practice some controlled breathing. Your brain needs oxygen to function and the physical manifestations of anxiety can inhibit oxygen flow to your brain and body.

BOX BREATHING

A great technique for controlled breathing is “box breathing.” Grab a pen and paper and draw a square box. If you don’t have a pen or paper just trace an imaginary box on a hard surface.

Slowly counting to the number four along each line, trace the entire box with the pointer finger of your dominant hand. Once you have this movement and pacing down, add inhaling to the count of four while you trace one edge followed by holding your breath down the next. Breath out again on the next line and lastly, hold your breath for the count of four as you return to the corner where you started.

5-4-3-2-1

An evidenced based technique to slowing down rapid breathing or thoughts is 5-4-32-1. Use your sense of sight to notice 5 things around you. Then touch 4 things around you. How’s your breathing? Can you slow it a little while you listen for 3 sounds? Take a nice slow inhale through your nose to smell 2 things near you. Finally, notice 1 thing you can taste. Is it toothpaste or coffee?

This strategy is great for calming anxiety to help you or your child stay grounded in the present. Engaging all five senses might be tough for younger children, so I modify this tool to 3-2-1. Ask them to identify 3 things they see, 2 things they hear, and 1 thing they can touch.

WHEN ANXIETY NEEDS HELP

If these strategies can’t dull racing thoughts, or if they only help for a few minutes, it might be time to schedule an appointment with a licensed therapist. A licensed therapist can help you discover what might be triggering continued anxiety while supporting you with additional tools to manage those triggers. ■

THE SLEEP how do you rate? HYGIENE QUIZ:

By EMILY C.T. HANKINS

We teach our kids to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and change their underwear. This is basic hygiene, after all. And hopefully these habits are ingrained in their brain by the time they hit kindergarten. But is there another kind of hygiene we are forgetting? Taking care of sleep is important, too. Like all hygiene practices, good sleep habits start young and affect all areas of our lives and wellbeing. However, 90% of families are pressed for adequate sleep during the school week. Is your family achieving stellar sleep hygiene? Take the quiz to find out.

1. AN HOUR BEFORE BED

WE ARE:

A) Starting to wind down. B) Eating dinner. C) Still at practice.

6. MY CHILDREN WAKE UP:

C) We stay up late, and everyone sleeps in late.

2. BEDTIMES ARE:

A) Set in stone. B) Usually around the same time, but is subject to change. C) Whenever we crash.

3. THE KIDS ARE:

A) Very active and exercise often. B) Get out and play a bit. C) More likely to choose stationary activities.

4.WHILE WAITING TO FALL

A) Read a book. B) Watch TV. C) Check their social media.

5. AT BEDTIME, I HEAR ________

A) “Ok. Goodnight.” B) “Can I just finish this last thing?” C) “No way! It’s too early.”

A) Well rested and ready to take on the day. B) Tired, but it always comes together. C) Grouchy as can be. Getting everyone up is stressful.

7. WHEN IT COMES TO THE

WEEKEND:

A) Our bedtime routines are basically the same as on weekdays. B) This is our time to catch up on sleep.

ASLEEP MY KIDS USUALLY:

8. IN OUR HOME:

A) Bedtime routines are sacred. B) Bedtime routines are flexible. C) What bedtime routines?

Emily C.T. Hankins is the Founder and Chief Consultant at ECT Education and the co-author of The Summer Before Kindergarten MOSTLY AS

You and your family have your sleep hygiene down! By championing great sleep habits like having a schedule and minimizing distractions at bedtime, you are supporting the natural circadian rhythms (natural sleep cycles) that children need to be happy, healthy, and rested. Your kids get the full nine hours of recommended sleep and it shows. Keep in mind that high school students are at the highest risk for poor sleep habits due to academic pressure, busy social lives, social media usage, and changes in their circadian rhythms. Be sure to offer extra support to your pre-teens and teens as they grow.

MOSTLY BS

You know sleep is important, but life gets in the way. Take heart, you are not alone! Nine out of ten families struggle to get enough sleep on school nights. Unrested children are more prone to anxiety, academic struggles, obesity, depression, and even suicide. There are ways to combat this. Aim for your elementary age students to hit the hay by 7:00 or 8:00, middle schoolers to be in bed by 8:00 or 9:00, and high school students should be asleep by 10:00 or 11:00. As a family, discuss ways you can work together to simplify activity schedules and to keep evenings calm. Continue to implement helpful strategies like limiting screen time, especially in the evenings.

MOSTLY CS

You know your family’s sleep is important – or you wouldn’t be taking this quiz – but you find yourselves struggling when it comes to sleep hygiene. As a family, discuss what new sleep routines would be helpful and realistic. Start with little changes that will make a big difference, like charging tech overnight in the kitchen to keep screens out of bedrooms. Reflect on how you can make sleep spaces more relaxing and conducive to good sleep. Are bedrooms too light? Too noisy? Too hot? Caffeine and other stimulants can interfere with a good night’s rest, too. Identify what keeps you and your family from restful sleep and go from there.