New bike lane bill will affect safety and commute times for students and faculty
By Aisha Duldul
The Ontario Ministry of Transportation has proposed a new bill on Oct. 21 that would give the province authority to remove or restrict bike lanes in the province.
Bill 212, Reducing Gridlock, Saving You Time Act 2024, would require municipalities to get approval from the provincial government to install bike lanes in their cities to reduce traffic congestion on major city streets.
The bill is currently going through a comment period where members of the public can write their thoughts on the impact this would have. This period ends on Nov. 20.
This adjustment could potentially affect existing routes on Bloor Street, University Avenue and Yonge Street in Toronto, which may impact commuter times and safety.
Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) students expressed concern over the new bill and are worried biking and driving to school may take longer if bike lanes are removed from these routes.
Amira Werah, a first-year business management student at TMU bikes to school daily. She said bike
lanes are essential for her safety as they separate her from car traffic, making her feel more secure while riding on busy streets downtown.
Werah added that without bike lanes, she would be more hesitant to use this method of transportation frequently in the city. She said biking would be less accessible if these lanes were removed.
“I might have to switch to public transportation or walk more often as biking would feel much less safe, especially during peak time when there’s a lot of traffic,” said Werah.
A study released by ScienceDirect in June 2024 echoes Werah’s concerns, stating that limiting access to safe cycling routes may discourage people from relying on bicycles for transportation. The study also said keeping bike lanes could make cycling a real option.
Rob Goodman, an assistant professor of politics and public administration who regularly bikes to campus said the government lacks sufficient data to justify the removal of bike lanes in Toronto.
Goodman argued that biking relieves congestion by getting people out of cars, noting his own bike commute as “one less car on the road”.
He believes that removing bike lanes would cause more congestion
SAMMY KOGAN/ THE EYEOPENER
and pollution. Other students who commute by car argue that removing bike lanes will create less congestion on busy roads in the city.
Davitta Mohan, a first-year biology student at TMU who drives to campus, said removing bike lanes will create shorter commute times for those relying on cars, especially during rush hour downtown.
However, she added that “it could make the roads less safe for cyclists and ultimately lead to more conflicts.”
“I believe bike lanes can make Toronto streets safer overall. They provide a designated space for cyclists, reducing the chances of ac-
cidents with cars and promoting a more balanced transportation system,” said Mohan.
Evan Cleave, an assistant professor of geography and environmental studies at TMU, said removing active transportation like bike lanes will bring heavier usage to using cars, which could lead to a negative environmental impact.
Cleave added that the removal will cause “more air pollution and more usage of electricity with electric cars and their charging stations.”
“The removal of bike lanes can cause more unhealthy environmental noise, and the main cause of environmental noise is traffic,” he said.
Olivia Chow and Marshall Ganz speak at 34th democracy forum
By James Novo
Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) hosted its 34th democracy forum on Friday with Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow and Harvard professor of leadership, organizing and civil society Marshall Ganz.
The forum was hosted in the George Vari Engineering and Computing Centre’s Sears Atrium by The Dais, a public policy and leadership think tank at TMU. The forum focused on creating lasting change in democracy by making connections within the community.
Martin Regg Cohn, a Toronto
Star columnist and founder of The Democracy Forum moderated the talk. The event was intended to touch on Ganz’s recently released book, People, Power, Change: Organizing for Democratic Renewal However, the focus shifted to discussing how to make lasting change in a democracy.
Cohn began the discussion by asking Chow to discuss her relationship with Ganz and to speak on how he has influenced her political career as a long-time friend and mentor. Chow said Ganz was able to help her throughout her career especially after losing the mayoral election in 2014 and the
federal election as a candidate in Spadina Fort-York in 2015.
“I lost the election. What am I going to do next? So I called up [Ganz] and said, ‘Hey, what do I do now?’ He said, ‘Well, the best teacher is through failure,’ Chow remembered.
After her second loss in 2015, Chow became a visiting professor at TMU. She had a previous career in education, teaching English as a Second Language straight out of university and then becoming the Toronto District School Board Trustee in 1985 for six years.
In her return to teaching, Chow realized the way to connect with people was through organizing and storytelling. She said she learned how to connect to people and tell her own story in 2023 which she believed propelled her to winning the mayoral election that year.
Ganz said campaigning for an election shouldn’t be about winning or losing the race, but rather learning valuable experiences. He said the most meaningful part of the process should be coming out of an election “stronger than when you went into it.”
Chow discussed how organizing in politics can only be
achieved if genuine connections are made with the citizens she is serving. She emphasized this connection with the people who are putting their trust in their leader and trying to maintain this while in office.
“You can have all the facts in the world and win an argument [but if] you don’t touch the heart, the hands won’t come out,” said Chow.
She said this was the best way to get people to come out and vote, work and volunteer for her when she was campaigning for mayor in 2023.
Ganz reiterated Chow’s sentiment and admitted one of the reasons he wrote his new book was because he was seeing a trend of dehumanization within politics. He said people are being represented as numbers and statistics instead of valued community members.
“People get turned into labels and when we have instructions that force us into these utterly individualistic, depersonalized kinds of data points, we begin to lose the human dimension of politics,” said Ganz.
Read more at theeyeopener.com
Thoughts on labour from the notes app of a recovering workaholic
What could the fun and satire editor possibly have to say about the workforce? Quite a lot, actually
By Sarah Grishpul
When deciding on what I wanted my special issue to be about, I knew it had to be something personal, relatable to the student body and—above all—funny as hell.
This summer, I was working practically every day at a movie theatre for 25 cents above minimum wage. The prior season, I was balancing that job on top of an office gig and two additional contract work opportunities. I even have aspirations to pursue a career in journalism where having a work-life balance isn’t much of a priority.
My friends would often accuse me of being a bit of a workaholic.
I disagree. I think I’m just overly ambitious. What can I say? I wear a lot of hats (metaphorically and literally speaking).
As of late, I began to critically look at the ways I prioritized work. Why was I busting my balls to cover shifts at a job that barely paid me my worth? How come I was collecting part-time opportunities like Pokémon cards? Why was I being rewarded for such selfdestructive behaviour?
But most importantly: why did I feel the incessant drive to work?
These questions—as you can imagine—left me in quite an exis-
tential rut. Who was I if I wasn’t productive or constantly advancing my employable skill set?
Like many of the flaws embedded in the roots of our society— the capitalist system by which we derive value—is to blame.
The workforce system has historically taken advantage of young people. From sending children to work in mines to corporations turning a blind eye to the needs of their employees, young workers are often illtreated and exploited.
Over the past several years, many young folks have begun to rebel against the current system in place—addressing toxic work environments, calling out labour law violations and even organizing to advocate for better working conditions.
Now, you may be wondering, “Golly Sarah, this is quite a serious topic for a ‘fun and satire’ issue. Wouldn’t this type of theme have been better suited under biz and tech?”
The answer? Probably. Too bad I came up with the idea first. (Sorry Anthony).
Satire is an excellent medium for social critique and political commentary. For decades, it has been a tool for the people to “clap back” at those in positions of power. Be-
sides, what better way to stick it to the man than through mockery and ridicule?
Having personally experienced my fair share of dysfunctional workplaces, poor management and the lengths at which some corporations will go to undermine their workers, I wanted to produce an issue that would expose that side of the workforce through the lens of comedy.
Many of the satirical and factual stories here are based on the shared experiences of student
workers here at Toronto Metropolitan University. I hope that this issue will encapsulate all the frustrations young people have with the current state of today’s modern, capital-driven workforce as well as ways in which we are collectively redefining the “9 to 5.”
Before you begin to peruse through these pages, I’d like to thank everyone who helped make this issue possible. The wonderful masthead, all the dedicated contribs who took on these pitches and the photo and media
team for their hard work. This was my first time ever managing a huge project like this and I couldn’t have done it without your support.
The 9 to 5 Issue is dedicated to my lovely coworkers at a certain run-of-the-mill movie theatre. Clocking in is such a joy only because I get to work alongside a great group of people. If they so happen to be reading this, you are what pushed me to produce something of this scale. To me, you are more than just your labour.
SAMMY KOGAN/THE EYEOPENER
Once upon a time: Tales from the break room
By Atiya Malik
Those of us who’ve worked a minimum wage job have probably experienced the disaster that is the staff break room. For many, it’s a sacred place to relax, gossip and question all of your life choices. But the weird odds and ends lurking in this peculiar room tend to appear unusual to the outsider’s eye.
Buckle up for an all-inclusive tour of the most unique, confusing and downright bizarre break room quirks that just make sense.
From Tupperware to treasure Here in the break room, expiration dates are just a suggestion— especially when it comes to refrigerated items. There’s always that one mysterious container in the fridge that’s slowly evolving into a science experiment.
Rumour has it that it was left behind by a former co-worker who vanished and now it’s just... there—nameless, untouched and completely invisible to everyone who opens the fridge. This Tupperware is a piece of history that lives with us. At what point does it deserve its own employee name tag?
The (unusual) friends we made along the way Didn’t get the same break as your favourite co-workers? Don’t worry, the mice will keep you company! In the break room, mouse traps have become pure decoration and a part of the unique workplace aesthetic. Nobody knows where these pests come from or how many of them there are but these little guys make sure there is never a dull moment, especially when the health inspectors come around.
The seating saga
The break room chairs are a trusted piece of workplace furniture. They’re the go-to-spot to kick back, ditch those customer service smiles and recharge! However, they’re not the most comfortable. Many are often hard on the back and some of them have wonky legs that make the chairs wobble as you debrief with your co-workers. Remember the couch we used to have? Yeah, we actually lost our couch privileges after someone thought it would be fun to jump on it and break the springs. Now we make the most of what we have but, to be honest, that couch needed to retire anyways. Every time you sat on it, a cloud of dust
would magically form around you as if you had just casted a spell. Hogwarts would be proud.
A hero in disguise
The old busted microwave is your most trusted ally! Despite its questionable hygiene, there is much to appreciate. The handle might be hanging on for dear life, and everytime you turn it on, it may sound
like it’s about to take off. Let’s not even discuss the permanent food stains left inside after somebody’s plastic container exploded. But hear me out, that microwave is a trooper in my eyes, a glimpse of hope even when the lunch options are looking rough. When it comes to reheating yesterday’s leftovers, she has got your back! Not all heroes wear capes.
Clocking out…
Despite these break room musthaves’ bizarre quirks, they come together to make a pretty cool hangout spot for you and your coworkers. I mean, where else can you bond over wobbly chairs, a microwave that sounds like a spaceship, mouse friends and a fridge that’s practically a time capsule. That’s all for this tour, see you on your next break!
Five things my boss does to show me they love me They like my company, they trust my work and they seem to really care!
By Caleb Jackson
Disclaimer: I don’t like my boss.
Sometimes, working your 9 to 5 can be incredibly draining. Work-life balance is dead and buried but you are married to the grind. But what makes the daily slog worth it? Some might say money—which is pretty valid. But I think it’s safe to say that the real diamond in the rough is our employers. They make the work environment fun and safe. To prove it, here are the top five ways my beautiful boss shows me they love me.
Asking me to stay late because they love my company I just adore the freeing feeling of being on the cusp of clocking out. However, some days, my boss will descend upon me like an angel from above and deliver the holy words of “Hey, so uh, yeah, I’m
gonna have you stay for another couple of hours, m’kay? We’re a little understaffed. Yeah. Good talk, sport.” Now I get to keep working for even longer! I love that they care enough to give me more money. So generous.
Trusting me with their tasks because they aren’t really up for it right now
Sometimes my boss really isn’t feeling up to doing the work they are paid to do. Who doesn’t get like that? So, they graciously offer me their responsibilities to fulfill too! I feel honoured they trust me enough to do their job for them while they pick at that scab on their hand that they just won’t let heal in their office. I often leave this experience feeling elated and seen.
My time has come
Sometimes I’m chosen to handle the responsibility of cleaning up the public washroom.
The brand-new decor in the break room
Right when I thought the em-
ployee break room was getting bleak and morale was arguably at its worst, my boss—being the bearer of happiness in the workplace—has put up a poster that reads “Hang in there!” with a cute cat dangling on a tree branch. It livens up the space and even made one of my peers sob. Tears of joy, no doubt. Thank you to my boss, and thank you Mr. Cat. You keep holding on, little guy.
Calling me Diablo when Diablo hasn’t worked here in three years I like to think the boss and I have an incredibly good rapport. I can come to my boss with any concern, we just get each other. One way we show this is a running joke where my boss calls me Diablo—the only other 20-year-old employee with a sleeve tattoo to ever work here— when Diablo hasn’t been employed here in three years. I always get a laugh out of it and go, “Haha, yeah that’s me!” I don’t think my boss has ever even once uttered my legal name. That just goes to show you how committed they are to our little gag. I love my boss.
SAMMY KOGAN/ THE EYEOPENER
NAGEEN RIAZ/ THE EYEOPENER
POV: Thanksgiving dinner with my work family
My personal account of spending the Thanksgiving meal with my incredibly…unique…“work
By Dylan Marks
Disclaimer: Though this story may seem real in some aspects, I assure you that it’s a complete lie made up for your enjoyment. Just clock in for a good time and enjoy the workflow of fiction!
This is a story about the first Thanksgiving I spent with my “work family.” Now, you may be wondering, “Why would you celebrate Thanksgiving at your deadbeat office job?”
Well first of all, relax with the condescending tone—I get enough of that from my relatives. And second, I didn’t really have a choice because of my general manager, the almighty Matthew Scotch.
Mr. Scotch treats our office like a family. While I completely disagree, I have no ability to give any input because—according to my mother—this is my first “real job.”
As per Mr. Scotch’s request, the employees of the downtown Toronto branch of Sheet Happens Paper Co. came into the office outside of work hours for a hearty family meal and fun Thanksgiving gobbledygook.
I arrived at the office holding a cold tray of sweet potato fries. I was greeted by Apollo, the resident of-
fice weirdo, who informed me that I was the last to arrive and, therefore, I would have to be seated at the kids table—a.k.a. an old student desk with gum still stuck to the bottom.
Mr. Scotch, who had been in the kitchen for 12 hours cooking, had burned just about everything, including the turkey.
My “work wife” Samantha informed me that despite everything, we would all be pretending to enjoy whatever he put out on the table.
“Chappell Roan finally being appreciated as an artist with no controversy”
As I waltzed in and placed my fries on the centre of the table’s food spread, the office grump, Hudson Lanley, pointed a gnarly finger at my humble tray and told me I better not have brought “any of that gluten free crap.” I assured him that everything I brought was so artificially processed that nobody could possibly gain any health benefits from it.
In a cloud of billowing black smoke, Mr. Scotch emerged into the room carrying the centre piece—the beautifully burnt turkey.
Everyone seated at the table locked eyes with each other and, in that moment, we subconsciously knew that no matter what, we would not insult the illustrious bird.
“Sam, Sam, Sam, I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like Sam-I-Am”
Once everyone was settled in, Mr. Scotch informed us that before we started eating, it was time to go around and say what we were thankful for this year.
Eager to please, I raised my hand and offered to go first. I noted that I was thankful to have such a nice group of co-workers to enjoy a meal with. Mr. Scotch shot that one down and told me it was “hella lame.”
Next was Samantha, who said she was thankful for the new shipment of pens she got earlier that day.
Before she could continue, Mr. Scotch suddenly blurted out, “Sam, Sam, Sam, I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like Sam-I-Am. Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?” He added more but you get the picture.
Then it was Hudson’s turn, who said something about hookers. Brenda was thankful for her parole officer and Apollo raved for 15 minutes about some experimental medicine he’s been putting in everything he eats. I quickly whipped out my phone to remind the work group chat that we probably shouldn’t eat the green beans he brought.
After a few more words from various coworkers at the table, it was Mr. Scotch’s turn to say what he was thankful for.
What followed was around 10-15 minutes of borderline homophobic Dave Chappelle material, an impromptu performance of three Creed songs that he didn’t really know the words to and exclaiming that he was thankful for, “Chappell Roan finally being appreciated as an artist with no controversy.” Nobody wanted to break the news to him so we just let him have it.
“...any of that gluten free crap”
At this point everything was cold, but we were starving, so we ate. Dry turkey, watery coleslaw, a bowl of beans and some weird paste that Brenda brought.
family”
According to Brenda, we didn’t have the budget for actual mashed potatoes so she had taken some leftover butter from the fridge and mashed it up with assorted allergy medication from people’s desk drawers. It looked and tasted nothing like mashed potatoes but there was some Bendaryl in there somewhere so we were all pretty chill for the rest of the night.
“It’s not about what’s inside, but what you believe is inside”
As Thanksgiving night came to a close, Mr. Scotch announced that he had one more surprise in store—holiday bonuses for everyone! He began passing out sealed envelopes with pretty signatures and Dollar Tree stickers and instructed us to not open them until he said so.
Once he finished handing them out, he told us to go wild and rip them open. To our bitter surprise, the envelopes were empty.
Mr. Scotch chuckled and explained, “It’s not about what’s inside, but what you believe is inside.” This lesson had no meaning and even less of an impact.
Happy Thanksgiving from Sheet Happens Paper Co.
SAIF-ULLAH KHAN AND NAGEEN RIAZ/THE
The Young and the
Organized
By Edward Lander and Hailey Ford
Student workers are pushed to the brink by companies who treat them as expendable but today’s union-minded youth are biting back
From the time he was 16 years old, working as an entertainment technician at Canada’s Wonderland had been Nigel Campbell’s entire summer. He and a team of about a dozen worked tirelessly six days a week and seven hours a day, managing some of the theme park’s productions and performances from behind the scenes.
Campbell said an appetite for unionization had been brewing in his team since 2019 but grew even stronger during the pandemic. He was paid $18.50 per hour before the unionization, a rate he said didn’t reflect the hard work that the team of technicians was putting in.
“That feeling was in the air of ‘we can be treated better,’” said the Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) performance production alumnus. “It’s a challenging job. And then when you look at your paycheck at the end of those two weeks, you’re like, ‘I really could be doing something else.’”
Campbell knew that many other entertainment technicians in Canada were unionized, largely with International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees (IATSE) Local 58, the union representing hundreds of Toronto’s stagehands. He also knew something else from his chats with Justin Antheunis, the president of Local 58: workers at Wonderland had attempted to organize back in 1989 and failed.
Antheunis had spoken about finding work through the union as a guest speaker in Campbell’s classes. If Campbell was going to make this happen, Antheunis was the person to speak with.
“To circle back [to Wonderland] and give it another try would be kind of a cherry on top,” said Antheunis. He was in full support and met with Campbell to guide him in his pursuit.
As of 2023, just over a quarter of Ontarian workers are covered by unions, a rate that had been steadily falling for decades but is starting to rise again. Some say the youth are partially to thank.
“That’s the power of young workers coming together. They see things a little bit different,” said Ontario Federation of Labour (OFL) president Laura Walton. “They have really great ideas and it’s been invigorating for the movement.”
he had been one in a summer season. His position allowed him to hover between the workstations of the new technicians—the Canterbury Theatre, the Waterfall Show, the Kids Playhouse and many more. He needed to pitch the idea of organizing without setting off alarm bells for management across the park.
“You have to be covert in your language because once the employers catch on to the idea floating around or rumours happening, then they start clamping down,” he said.
If Campbell played his cards right, management wouldn’t have a chance to interfere.
Campbell slipped questions about labour into casual conversations with his team, revealing the unionization plan only when he felt the time was right. Months later, in the final four weeks of the season, the whole team was on board and ready to take a vote.
“One hundred per cent yes, everybody voted. One hundred per cent participation,” Campbell said.
Another vote had to take place to officially confirm the result. This happened soon after, gathering the same unanimous support. But being unionized doesn’t make the problems go away overnight. Things often get worse before they get better. Many workplaces, including Wonderland, aren’t happy when change comes.
“Everything just got harder,” Campbell said. “When the employer is in this position where they lost, everything just gets stricter. If you’re late [to work], sometimes that slides by. Now, there’s no leeway. You’re five minutes late, you’re getting written up.”
The first trick up Wonderland’s sleeve was trying to discount the vote. Campbell had gotten signatures from his entire team of techs but management argued the park’s hair and makeup crews also fell into their category and that, without them, the vote was null.
“It was a managerial shit show”
There are unique challenges that come with unionizing a seasonal workforce. A high turnover rate makes organizing a struggle and with workers not knowing whether they’ll be around for another season, starting the long process of unionization can feel futile.
Campbell faced exactly this problem. He tried calling everyone he’d worked with in the past season to see if any of them were returning for the summer. The answer: none of them. This meant he’d have to start from the beginning, slowly feeling out how a brand new workforce felt about forming a union.
However, during the summer of 2022, Campbell had an advantage: he was now a supervisor—the first time
The park’s plan backfired. Campbell approached hair and makeup, asking whether they wanted to organize too. Though initially miffed they were left out of the first vote, they were happy to join IATSE—but with a different local that would represent their specific needs.
Campbell’s efforts to keep the unionization efforts a secret also meant other park employees weren’t aware of the plan. When Campbell came into work on the day of the final vote, he ran into a friend in another department of tech services. He asked him, “What would you say if I told you I just unionized Wonderland?”
The coworker brushed him off, “Not gonna happen,” he replied.
“What if I told you it was already done?” said Campbell. His coworker was dumbfounded. Campbell laughed and said this was the reaction just about everyone had. Still, Wonderland wasn’t done making things difficult for the freshly-unionized techs.
“Within bargaining, it was a lot of delays,” he said. “We propose something, they don’t propose anything back. They’re just like, ‘No, we don’t want to accept it.’”
Eventually, raises were negotiated with an increase of over three dollars in the first year. Now, starting hourly wages for technicians sit at just under $22. They also managed to get written rules surrounding unsafe work practices and the right to refuse tasks that would put health and safety at risk. It allowed people to be more confident, speak up and share their thoughts and concerns in the workplace.
The Eyeopener reached out to Canada’s Wonderland for comment but they did not respond in time for publication.
“That’s something a lot of bosses fear most, that their employees will talk to one another and realize the issues that one of them is having are the issues that all of them are having,” said Campbell.
Anti-union messaging, unease about dues or misunderstandings surrounding their purpose worm through the minds of workers, slipping through as memos, emails or offhand comments. Unionizing can be a difficult undertaking but many young people are pushing through the noise, working to build a better workplace for themselves and those who will come after.
“There’s been people who have been telling young people that they can’t do things all the way along,” said Walton. “This generation of workers coming up is magical.”
Young workers are less likely to have had negative experiences with unionizing or run-ins with poor union leadership. They’re entering a workforce that has far more examples of labour wins than failures. Successful organization efforts at big corporations like Starbucks and Amazon are a beacon of hope for young people looking to fight back against a system that seems bent on exploiting them.
Fourth-year TMU image arts film studies student Elliott Frith is very familiar with this system. He spent this past summer working in reforestation in British Columbia, planting thousands of trees over 11-hour work days in a travelling camp. Being paid for each tree planted and pushing themselves to their limits made for a strenuous work environment.
One day, towards the end of the season, the team of about 60 people was instructed to do a camp-wide replant on a plot of land that had been covered days earlier. Frith said this meant they had to replant trees that had been planted incorrectly and were unsure if they were going to be paid for their work with management, saying they would notify them. He said both supervisors and management never gave a clear answer on whether pay would be coming.
The Eye reached out to a representative* of the reforestation company, who said planters should be com-
Visuals by Saif-Ullah Khan
pensated for replant days and they eventually were.
The next day, while the managers were in a meeting, Frith called his exhausted co-workers to a general assembly in the mess tent to talk about what happened. He discovered nearly everyone was upset, not just about the replant, but with just about everything they had gone through over the course of the season.
“Everyone was pissed off about all sorts of stuff,” he said. “We had to do mandatory meetings on our day off, we weren’t paid accurately for our setup and teardown of camp.”
The company representative refused to comment on the mandatory meetings.
Frith knew that without him and his co-workers’ labour, management wouldn’t make a dime. If they wanted to make change, they had the power.
“When you look at your paycheck at the end of those two weeks you’re like ‘I really could be doing something else’”
The planters decided to pen a letter, airing their grievances with the company and threatening to strike indefinitely if they weren’t compensated for the replant day. If management wouldn’t pay, the planters wouldn’t work.
That night, alongside two more experienced coworkers who had offered to back him up, Frith handdelivered the letter to his supervisor. The next day they waited patiently for a reply. In the evening, a pickup truck pulled up to camp and one of the company owners stepped out. What ensued was a stern lecture. “Am I the asshole here?” asked the owner, claiming that the planters’ use of the word “demands” was insulting.
“They tried to make us feel like we were asking for too much when we were literally just asking for minimum wage,” said Frith. “He really tried to harp on our inexperience.”
During the tense negotiation, the two parties went into recess and the planters gathered once again in the mess tent to plan their course of action. Most still wanted to strike—if a letter had brought out the owner of the company, what could a strike do? They returned to the table with the same set of demands.
Management conceded, offering to pay wages for the replant day. Planters later learned the company had been budgeted three hours pay for camp setup and teardown, of which they were currently only being paid two.
The 1919 Winnipeg General Strike was the largest one Canada ever saw. Frith considers it one of the most important events in Canadian history. Led by workers and a coalition of unions, the strike shut down Manitoba’s capital for six weeks. It was ultimately crushed by all three levels of government and a handful of employers, sparking bitterness and leaving a lasting memory in the Canadian consciousness.
In the wake of 1919, the labour movement intensified. Unions formed their own governing bodies and collaborated, all while gaining more reform in government that made pro-union legislation possible. Through these fights, Canadians won the five-day work week, the eight-hour day, the right to time off and countless other wins that comprise the state of work as known today.
The live-in staff at TMU’s three residences—comprised of residence advisors (RAs) and academic links (ALs)—work where they live and live where they work. They’re students themselves, struggling to find a balance when work, life and school all happen within the same few blocks. In 2022, they made the move to unionize.
Fourth-year RTA media production student and community leader for the International Living and Learning Centre (ILC) live-in team Jack Morrissey was the bargaining chair during the negotiation process and is currently a union steward for OPSEU Local 596.
Morrissey first heard whispers about the possibility of unionization in his common room while he was still a first-year student living in the ILC. He overheard murmurs that would slip into the standard chatter of the residence staff, which he would join a year later.
Pay wasn’t their main concern, balance took that title as there were no set hours and no hourly compensation. Although they were instructed to work 12 hours a week—now 10 hours a week according to the 2024–2025 application document—many felt pressured, whether by themselves or by management, to do a whole lot more.
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, things took a turn for the worse. Both of the residence life managers (RLMs)—the supervisors who oversee the live-in team—quit, after which only one new RLM was hired.
The Eye reached out to TMU’s Housing and Residence Life department for comment on their staffing. In an emailed statement, they said their management team has consisted of three people as of 2022 and, “during varying points of the pandemic, operational demands fluctuated.”
“It was a managerial shit show,” said Morrissey.
During the bargaining process, they negotiated a threshold of working hours for the year. If an RA or AL exceeded that, they get paid hourly. Morrissey said this was not about getting paid more, it was to prevent management from pushing excessive hours.
“The management chain was kind of rotted right from the root,” he said. “It’s important to critically think about how we can switch from pointing fingers to making change and empowering our voices as workers to be heard up that chain.”
They also negotiated for better job security, stable subsidy rates on their rent and CPR training for staff. If there were defibrillators in residence, Morrissey wouldn’t know where they are. The 2024–2025 school year marks the first that RAs have been trained in first aid following the unionization in 2022.
In the same emailed statement, the Housing and Residence Life department said first aid training was put on hold from 2020 to 2021 to limit exposure to COVID-19 and was reinstated in 2024. They also said that residence buildings currently do not have defibrillators.
Live-in staff also had another qualm—the balance between their academics and employment. “Student staff” is the term used to describe the RAs and ALs on the live-in residence team, but according to Morrissey, they were either one or the other, depending on which suited management best. They were “staff” when they were disciplined or told to work more hours to fill gaps but “students” when trying to host guests or asking to be treated the same as other residence employees.
The representative of the reforestation company said their data entry person had entered the setup and teardown hours incorrectly and workers were eventually paid for a full three hours.
Tree planting is individualistic, laborious work. Paid by the tree, planters are encouraged to compete with their co-workers to sow as many as possible. Frith said this fosters a “grindset” mentality, where employees push themselves beyond their physical and mental limits to meet quotas and bring home the most cash. Accompanied by the high turnover rate of seasonal work, unions in the field are few and far between.
Like Campbell, Morrissey also felt the shift in the air that came from becoming unionized. His workplace began to actually feel more like a workplace. Unionization put a stop to preferential treatment, petty comments and made the divide between the live-in team and management less faux-friendly.
Morrissey said it also allowed them to be a lot more open with their concerns, coming a long way from secret meetings in random common rooms.
“People have been way more engaged as actual staff and have felt way more connected as a team,” he said. “We can represent and we can defend and we can sit there in front of management’s faces.”
While issues have continued to emerge, Morrissey said they’re just growing pains. What’s important is that workers can voice their concerns on the systems, management and the expectations placed upon them while now having a means to solve them.
Frith’s team, however, didn’t need to join a union or create one formally. Their success was rooted in a foundational principle of the labour movement: that workers together are stronger than their bosses.
“The only way [working people] get anything—to use that word the owner hated so much—is to demand it,” said Frith.
Labour organizing in Canada started as far back as the early 1800s, paralleling the industrial revolution. In 1872, the Nine Hour Movement spread to Canada, demanding ninehour work days rather than the up-to-12 that most were working. While largely unsuccessful, the workers’ fight led to the Trade Union Act of 1872, which transformed unions from illegal organizations to government-protected institutions.
“I would push to unionize in like 90 to 95 per cent of cases. And now is the time to do it,” he said. “Management fears union rights more than you’d expect.”
Campbell no longer works at Canada’s Wonderland. The season in which he organized the tech team would be his last and he knew this all along. Frith said he won’t return to the company he worked for this summer and Morrissey will graduate in the spring, leaving residence behind.
For Campbell, this knowledge was part of what drove him. He wasn’t unionizing for himself, but rather for workers of the next season—and all the seasons after that—who will be better off because of it.
*This source has been granted anonymity by reasonable request. The Eye has verified this source.
Frankie B. Bold: Inside the life of Toronto’s most misunderstood mascot
By Luis Ramirez-Liberato
Disclaimer: You must be a real BIRD BRAIN to think The Eyeopener’s got the pull to interview the real Frankie the Falcon.
I arranged to interview Frankie B. Bold in a diner called Three Coins in some podunk town. Frankie arrived 15 minutes late and blamed it on “air traffic.” His handshake gripped like a python and he seemed tired from the drive up here. We sat down. He drank his coffee black and ordered two steaks, six strips of bacon and a slice of cherry pie. It was 8:30 in the morning.
I am conscious of the fact that Frankie may have only accepted to do this interview to save face in the public eye. Last month, it was an altercation on the ice with Brock University’s Boomer the Badger. The month before that, he was on Instagram fighting with a pigeon in Alexandra Park. Some people think the pressure of the job is getting to the Bold mascot, while others might think he’s just not the bird for the job.
Frankie has decided to set the record straight and open himself up to the world. The bird behind the beak and the face of Toronto Metropolitan University sat down with The Eyeopener last week with one goal in mind: to let the world know that Frankie is tired but still giving this job his all.
The following responses have been translated from bird-speak and edited for length and clarity.
Q: Frankie, thank you for coming out to meet with me. Tell me, you’re a year into this job. What are you hoping the next five years will look like?
A: I just want to stay where I am right now. It’s a solid gig with good money, good pay and honest work. I’m adjusting to city life but the only plan I’m looking forward to is moving the family out downtown.
Q: And where do you currently call home?
A: London, Ont.
Q: Yikes… I’m so sorry.
A: I know. I’m ready for a change of scenery.
Q: A lot of readers know plenty about Frankie the mascot but very little about Frankie the family man. Tell us what life is like at home.
A: I have two beautiful bird babies and I get a lot of time to spend with them. I’m only needed in Toronto for sporting events and campus tomfoolery, so I can work around my wife’s busy schedule taking care of the kids.
Q: Your wife, I have it here in my notes that she’s part turkey. I’m interested in knowing if any stigmas exist in interavian relationships.
A: She’s Turkish, not a turkey.
Q: Oh…
A: That said, dating outside your species is hard but you do it out of necessity. There aren’t many nine-foot-tall birds walking around.
Q: On the topic of tall birds, is there much jealousy among the mascot community when a position like yours is filled?
A: I think there will always be jealous people. But in my circles, amongst the people I work alongside, we are all proud to see a colleague succeed.
Q: Does this pride extend to the University of British Columbia’s mascot, Thunderbird?
A: Man, I hate that guy.
Q: Although you are not an athlete, your job does have you very involved in the games you attend. These games can get pretty intense, and you often face insults from the opposing team, such as “bird brain,” “dodo” and “chicken.” How do these kinds of names affect you while trying to do the job?
A: It really hurts. And honestly, when it happens, it’s the worst part of my day—even my
week. I’m part of these large social bird movements—migrations we sometimes call them in academia—that are working to educate the public on the harm this kind of rhetoric can have on members of our community.
Q: A large majority of that community here in Toronto are pigeons. Tell me, are you ever conscious of the proportion of pigeons to members of your falcon community?
A: Pigeons built this city. I have nothing but love for my pigeon brothers and sisters.
Q: Frankie, you graduated with a degree in acting. Is this where you expected your career to go?
A: Honestly, it’s not. It’s strange. I am so satisfied as a family man and a provider but when I think
about everything I wanted to do, I realize how little I accomplished. I spend so many nights up alone waiting for my wife to come home. I find myself clocking in hours in front of the television screen buck naked aside for my bird undies. It really gets me thinking, is this the star I want to be? There’s only so many hours a man can spend optimizing the efficiency of his farm before he asks himself about the legacy he’s going to leave behind.
Q: Wow, really powerful stuff. There are many faces to Frankie B. Bold. I think we spend a lot of time asking ‘where is Frankie’ and not enough ‘how is Frankie.’ How are you, Frankie?
A: Not so great, but taking each day one long talon at a time.
Workin’ hard or hardly workin’: A quiz for the busy bees
By Tia Harish
Are you chronically employed? Do you never take days off? Do you wish you had more hours in the day to get even more done? I personally can’t relate, but it sure sounds rough. If you’re at a point in your life where you’re not sure if you’re doing too much or not enough, I’m here to help!
What do you usually eat for breakfast?
This handy-dandy quiz is a foolproof way to know whether you’re a certified workaholic or you need to get off the couch and find a hobby.
a. Coffee with a double shot of (me) espresso.
b. A berry acai coconut cream Hailey Bieber-inspired smoothie bowl with organically harvested granola.
c. An appropriately toasted bagel.
When was the last time you went home to see your parents?
a. Back when high school was still relevant.
b. This morning.
c. Two weeks ago.
Your friend spontaneously asks you to hang out on a Wednesday evening but you have an assignment due Friday that you haven’t started. How do you respond?
a. I can’t hang out but maybe we call while I’m working?
b. I’m so down to hang out— I’ll have all of Thursday to finish my assignment.
c. I could probably spare an hour or two.
Would you rather have one extra hour every day or one less hour every day?
a. One hour extra, do you know how many extra tips I could make with more time on the clock?
b. One less hour, I don’t know what I’d do with that extra time.
c. Where does the extra hour come from? Where does that hour go? Time is an illusion.
If you found $50 on the street, what would you do with it?
a. Invest it in the stock market, my favourite hobby.
b. Put it towards my vintage vinyl collection.
c. Go out for hotpot, that shit’s expensive! Gotta look up the Haidilao secret codes first.
When you were seven, what did you wanna be when you grew up?
a. A firefighter.
b. A rockstar/superhero.
c. A dinosaur.
Be real, do you know how to do your taxes?
a. Do I? I’m so good, I’m practically an accountant.
b. No clue, but I like getting those GST payments in the mail.
c. I use TMU’s Accounting Services ™ and sometimes I ask my parents for help.
Are you more of a couch potato or workaholic? Check the results of this quiz and determine your fate on theeyeopener.com
RACHEL CHENG/THE EYEOPENER
SAMMY KOGAN/THE EYEOPENER
By Gray Moloy
Hanging off every digit drained out of their bank accounts and skimming the city for the newest opportunities, many students get caught up in the chase for success.
Often emerging at the age of 17 from a high school safety net, many kids are thrust into a bustling postsecondary education environment ready to take no prisoners. Enter university life and all of its promises—connections, educational value and a shiny ticket to your dream job.
None of this is promised without dedication, it’s an equal exchange—your mental wellbeing and in return, you achieve all your dreams. Right?
With a societal spotlight on university education, kids can get lost in an all-or-nothing mentality. One thought rages above all others, one false step and they’ll lose it all.
Second-year Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) master of applied science student in electrical and computer engineering Leandra Budau is no stranger to this feeling.
“So much of our self worth right now as a society is based on our grades and how good of a student we are,” says Budau.
“So experiencing burnout and feeling like you physically cannot put in the amount of work to get to those standards that you’ve set for yourself feels like a moral falling.”
According to a research article in The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, when students face pressure to succeed at school, it may negatively affect their mental health.
Budau says “Rather than just [telling yourself,] ‘I’m tired and I can’t do work,’ it’s, ‘I’m a terrible person and I can’t do work.’”
After completing their undergraduate degree in computer engineering at TMU, Budau stayed to pursue their master’s degree.
Working three part-time jobs to afford Toronto’s continuously increasing cost of living, Budau finds themselves overwhelmingly busy in every aspect of life. They work part-time at TMU’s Tri-Mentoring Program, as a teaching assistant in the computer engineering program and at a startup company working in programming.
Budau has had a positive experience at their jobs and enjoys their workplaces, though they said working multiple jobs has caused a strain on their mental health.
Opting to work a third job after moving into a new apartment in
Work hard, burn out harder
A rising cost of living and an increasing societal expectation to aspire to higher education can pressure students into a dangerous mindset
Toronto to cover the higher living costs, their days became overwhelmingly busy.
Although three part-time sources of income allow Budau to maintain a “somewhat liveable wage,” they say, “If I took any of those single pieces out, it wouldn’t necessarily be liveable.”
The rising cost of living can often usher students into working part-time jobs along with going to school full-time. In a study from Statistics Canada in 2022, there was an increase in students working part-time with 28.4 per cent of people aged 15 to 24 working jobs between 15 and less than 30 hours a week. This may occupy the time many students need to dedicate to school in order to succeed yet they must work to afford the cost of their programs.
Students have to fit a part-time work schedule around their classes and other extracurriculars, which can leave students overworked and burnt out.
“So much of our self worth right now as a society is based on our grades and how good of a student we are”
Third-year accounting and finance student Larissa Chafe works part-time at a Cineplex theatre, a job where she finishes her shifts as late as midnight some nights.
She lives at home with her parents but works to pay for her tuition and other expenses. Over the summer, she worked and took summer classes but began experiencing increased levels of stress as a result of being overworked.
Chafe says that, as years have passed, work and academic stress has contributed to a waning enthusiasm surrounding her program.
“I have been losing my passion. I guess as years go on, it just gets more tedious, especially because it’s accounting. At first, I was like, ‘I like the numbers’ but now it’s just becoming boring,” says Chafe.
“I feel like I used to have a passion and now I’m just kind of in this mindset where I’ve been at it for three years. I feel like I don’t want to change paths because I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m in too deep.’”
Chafe would feel especially stressed out during exam periods.
“At my job, it gets really busy during the summer and winter,” says Chafe.
“There [were] days…where it was pretty bad. I was super stressed
because I’ve just [had] either a bad day at work or maybe the summer grades were coming out and I didn’t do as well as I expected.”
This stress is something felt by a wide variety of students.
Alan Sears, a sociology professor emeritus at TMU, says burnout and student community are often intertwined. He explains that the isolation is felt by a large majority of students.
“I have been losing my passion. I guess as years go on, it just gets more tedious”
Sears says a sense of camaraderie in the classroom can make periods of burnout more manageable.
He explains that the isolation is felt by a large majority of students.
“Attendance has never been lower [than] it has been since COVID—there’s a sense of isolation in the room,” Sears explains.
Without a close connection to their university community, students can feel discouraged from talking to other students.
“I think one of the things that’s making [burnout] especially difficult...is the disconnection from other people in the same position, says Sears.
“To me, the best support for students is other students.”
Many students are finding it difficult to create meaningful relationships with each other, something needed to make change on a
larger scale, Sears explains.
“When you feel isolated, I think it weighs on the soul.”
Despite so much already on university students’ plates, many are also thrust into workplaces where their needs are not always prioritized. As students enter positions in the workforce that align with their aspirations, the pressure to succeed and leave a good impression is prominent.
“With the...startup that I work for…we’re working towards this goal, and I would be so happy to [put more hours in] except I’m also a student, and now this is cutting into time I have to work on my thesis, or time I should be working on courses, but you still want to be seen as a good employee,” Budau explains.
The startup—being Budau’s first experience working in their field—has put pressure on them to succeed, hoping it will advance their career if they perform well.
“In the back of your head, you’re also thinking about, [how] this is my first industry job, and this is the only thing I’m going to have on my resume that’s relevant.” Because of this, “I need them to give me a good reference so that I can get the next step up of [the] job,” says Budau.
While they are dedicated to all of their workplaces, there’s only so much time in the day to balance every responsibility. This experience leaves many wondering—how are students expected to make a living wage, attend classes, study and network them-
selves into a career?
“The only way that you can become a doctor or an engineer or a journalist or philosopher, or whatever…there’s no reason that the only way that you can do that is through four or five years of burnout and feeling terrible,” Budau expresses. Community building is important to initiating change in institutions, Sears explains. The feeling of burnout is normalized across university campuses, though it heavily impacts student mental health and well-being.
The pressure of school weighs heavily on students which is why community on campus is important. Sears believes students “can actually make a difference in [change on campuses].” He says a first step students can take is to to connect with each other and find commonality in their struggles and challenges at school and in the workplace.
“The best support for students is other students”
For Chafe, building relationships with her co-workers has made her job worthwhile. Many of them are fellow students—their relationships extending well past work hours. Knowing that she’ll be clocking in to work among friends keeps her coming back.
“I like a lot of my coworkers, which makes the job enjoyable to do,” she says. “It’s really the people that make it worthwhile.”
SAIF-ULLAH KHAN/THE EYEOPENER
Customer Wall of Fame
Email sign off guide for the corporate girlies
You’re not like other girls. You’re different.
TMU students
A collection of employee testimonies from
Curated by Sarah Grishpul
Think you’ve seen it all? These Toronto Metropolitan University students have dealt with their fair share of kooky customers. Let’s take a gander at the wildest interactions that made it to our wall of fame.
“It’s a very, very busy day. And so this is the kind of day where people, of course, decide they need their special requests attended to immediately. In a packed restaurant, this man…asked me, ‘Do you massage the kale?’”
- Grace Henkel, former server/ bartender
“I’m working [at] concession and then [TikToker Myah Elliott] is at my till. And I’m like, ‘Oh my God.’ So then I run to the other side of the till where the customers are and I tell my co-worker, ‘Get a picture of me and her.’”
- Seun Lagoke, Cineplex cast member
“I worked a New Year’s Eve shift at McDonald’s once and this really stoned guy came in a shopping cart and ordered 106 nuggets.”
- Caleb Jackson, former McDonald’s employee
“When I worked at Whole Foods, there was a woman known as ‘the Chicken Lady’ and she was in love with this Slovakian worker named Jan. She would come into the store every Saturday to buy a chicken and then the following week, she would call to complain about the quality of the chicken.”
- Ella Miller, former Whole Foods employee
“Back when I worked at the Hillcrest Indigo, there was this customer who used to come in and ask us to scratch her back for her, which was just super weird. We told her we couldn’t do it. So, she’d go up to the floating bookshelves where we’d put ‘top Canada picks’ or ‘top staff picks’ and she’d start scratching her back on the corner of the shelves.”
- Anastasia Blosser, former sales associate
“As an employee at a pizzeria, I have seen not one, not two but THREE people tuck their pizzas under their arms like books or stuff them—vertically— into tote bags. I’m pretty sure they had either never seen a pizza before or they were aliens trying out human food…”
- Robyn Kotorynski, pizzeria employee
By Ria Sidhu
Lukewarm regards
“Lukewarm regards” is the “meh” of goodbyes. You may wish them the best but you don’t care that much. Plus, a snarky, halfhearted farewell is always better than a regular one.
Easy, breezy, beautiful
Flawless and living your best life, using “easy, breezy, beautiful” proves you are a CoverGirl. Even if your inbox is flooding, at least you’re showing that you’re always ready to hit the catwalk.
Still thriving while barely surviving
This one is for the girls who juggle multiple tasks with a smile despite screaming inside. Honesty is the best policy (apparently). Using this email sign-off is a good
way to keep it real while reassuring others—and yourself—that you’ve definitely got everything under control.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please ask someone else Are you tired of getting too many followup emails? This quip is the perfect way to tell your coworkers to go leave you alone. After all, delegation is an attribute of leadership. It screams calm, cool and collected.
Too glam to give a damn
A perfect quip for all the hotties in the office, this sends a message that you’ve got better things to be dealing with. It’s for the girlies who can crush deadlines without breaking a sweat—all while scrolling through TikTok and painting their nails on the job.
Slaying one email at a time
This email sign-off reminds your boss that you’ve been hired to SLAY. THE. DAY. It’s the equivalent of flipping your hair while reminding everyone who the real boss is in this office.
Tag, you’re it. P.S. No tagbacks
This email sign-off is a great way to tell someone it’s their turn to take over the project. The “no tagbacks” part adds a subtle—but professional—“just deal with it” finale to the endless email chain.
One coffee away from calling it a day Aren’t we all just one coffee away from calling it a day? I know I am. Sipping on a nice caffeinated beverage may even ease the headache you’ve been nursing from staring at your laptop screen all day. One iced mocha latte to go, please.
NAGEEN RIAZ/ THE EYEOPENER
By Zarmminaa Rehman
CHAPTER 1
The Amazing Race...for a job
As the job market gets more competitive, how far will hiring managers go?
Author’s note: The content below has been greatly exaggerated but based on true events.
Your resume was perfect. You ass-kissed hard on your cover letter. You even managed to convince the artificial intelligence recruiting tool you would trade your firstborn child for a spot at the company. Two phone interviews later and finally, you made it to the in-person interview. Arriving in a freshly pressed shirt, showing as many pearly whites as possible, you saw a line of fellow applicants folding like a small intestine in front of your local Tim Hortons. Damn. A group interview, perchance?
This crowd wasn’t lined towards the store’s entrance but instead, the chain of people anxiously awaited a welcome into a suspiciously large tent set up in the parking lot. As you entered the enclosure, it appeared this was no ordinary in-person interview. Each applicant, given a numbered marathon bib to wear around their torso, was stripped of their cell phones and instructed to walk through a metal detector before approaching the stage.
A panel of judges sat on a raised platform, black screens perched in front of them, ominous red dots blinking like warning signals. Through squinted eyes, you made out the name ZELDA on someone’s name tag and beside it “Store Manger” written in Times New Roman. This meant business. You feel a chill down your spine…all this for $17.20 an hour?
Suddenly, in Squid Game-fashion, a man in an all-black suit descended down from an invisible spot on the roof of the tent onto the stage in front of all of the applicants.
“Welcome to your in-person interview,” he said. “We thank you for your applications and for attending this interview. Today, each one of you will compete in a series of challenges for a chance to win a job offer letter to our highly esteemed establishment.”
You don’t wait a second and fit the headset onto yourself, unsure of what to expect. In a millisecond, you’re transported in front of a seated crowd within a theatre—your very own TED Talk?
From your peripheral view, you see television show host Steve Harvey approach you, with a mystery box in hand.
“Well, well, #23584, here is your item,” he announced, handing you the box.
You opened it to find a glass coffee pot, spotless and shining.
“Using your customer service skills and imagination, explain the many purposes this coffee pot can serve,” asked the television icon.
You examined it a bit, thinking what more can this do? You ran the following three life lessons through your mind.
1. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Well, unbeknownst to the average fellow, this pot exceeds just one use. If caught in a brawl, turn the pot and take your balled fis so that it enters inside, effectively defending your face.
2. Just keep swimming. Next, it must be hard to clean out your fish’s bowl right here and now. So why not give them a new vacation home in this pot, equipped with enough space and a robust wide diameter? Your fishies will always be content taking a trip while you clean up after them.
Everyone turned to one another, confusion etched into the crinkles of their faces. Beside you, the colour drained from a poor young candidate, likely fresh into Grade 9— judging by the six scraggly hairs on his chin and Champion shorts.
“Let’s start with the first task,” the mystery man spoke, his voice sounding from each corner of the tent. What had you possibly gotten yourself into?
Following a train of people out the back end of the tent, you approached an ominous black door with swirling coloured sparks. The resounding sound of a bell signalled you to step inside.
CHAPTER 2
3. Don’t let the weight of the world get you down. Finally, it seems that your papers are just not staying put, so why not use the pot as a paper weight, it might even have enough space to store paper clips and other fun knick knacks.
As you finish your spiel, you’re caught in a battle between yourself and the eyes of the “audience.” A few moments passed until the crowd erupts in laughter, even Harvey seemed pleased with your answers.
Stepping through the door, you found yourself in an unknown location, yet it felt eerily similar to your grandmother’s home. Confused, you didn’t realize that, off to the side, that same panel of judges could see every action you do.
On an empty table sat a single virtual reality (VR) headset. The room was otherwise barren.
“Applicant #23584, please put on the VR headset.”
When you arrived at the secondary location, you found yourself dressed in a full body swimsuit with other candidates spread out to your left and right. Lying ahead was a competitive obstacle course spanning the size of a decently-long football field.
“Candidates, you must complete this obstacle course.” That announcer was just so excited to watch the lot of you bruise yourself all to make a cup of joe. “But remember, you also need to memorize the order of a judge and make it for them once you arrive at the finish line!”
Before you can psychologically prepare yourself, a gunshot snapped you out of the entrance and got your butt out onto the course.
Jumping, hopping, slipping, stumbling and tumbling. Over and under. Diagonal and vertical. Across and through…would this course ever conclude? The world moved in hyper-speed around you but each thwack of the moving rubber cylinders came at you in slow-motion. You never stood a chance.
You get to the final podium, soaked in water. A little more, you think to yourself, a little more. The table is decorated with all the ingredients you need. Maybe you could sneak a little snack but honestly, what was the coffee order again?
You speed-run recreating whatever you could think the coffee order was as decently as possible. A double-double with milk, and instead of sugar, Splenda. A medium size but
“Congratulations, you have successfully made it to the next task,” he said.
CHAPTER 3
The glowing door appeared again, this time revealing a white interior swirling with multi-coloured sparks. You take off the VR set and scamper through the exit off the high of your success.
in an extra-large cup with ice and an everything bagel—not toasted and cut in fours. Despite everything, you’ve managed to make it to the end along with a half-decent cup of coffee. Door after door appeared as you completed an exam on your knowledge of coffee beans, performed in a competitive relay race talent show and participated in a philosophical debate on why honey dip donuts are called honey dip if they have no inkling of honey or dip?
You’ve made it to the top 10 finalists and you can feel your first paycheck within arms reach. You could practically taste the value pack of Goldfish and La Croix water after 13 per cent tax was cut out and your monthly rent couldn’t be paid in full.
“For your final task, you will sit down for a one-on-one interview with the owner of our store—Zelda.”
CHAPTER 4
Finally, your chance to prove that you deserved that $17.20 per hour position with zero benefits and no paid sick leave. Lucky for you, your interpersonal skills were off the charts.
“So…candidate #23595, if we were struck by a hurricane, how would you prepare coffee for a dozen people outside waiting in the cold? Keep in mind, the customers are all lactose intolerant, your shipment of oat milk is delayed and they expect a minimum five-minute one-on-one service with your undivided attention,” Zelda asked, boring their eyes into yours, challenging you to answer.
“Well you see I wou-”
“Thank you, we’ll let you know of our decision by Thursday next week.”
Hoping to receive an offer, all you got was an automated email telling you that you just didn’t have the “oomph” for the Tim Horton’s family and that all the spots had been filled.
Two weeks have passed.
The routine ding of your phone notifies you of a new job offer on Indeed but you realize this one looks somewhat— what’s the word?— familiar.
We’re Hiring! Would YOU like to work at Tim Hortons? Well, we would love to have you on our team. Do you want to join a wonderful family and learn hand-on skills with great perks?
Submit your resume now and join us on our “Always Fresh” promise.
NAGEEN RIAZ/THE EYEOPENER
Workplace
BINGO
Words By Haley Sengsavanh
Visuals by Vanessa Kauk
Whether you’ve worked in customer service, at a desk job or in the food and beverage industry, this BINGO card will put your workplace drama to use. If you’ve experienced any of the following...you have my thoughts and prayers. But hey, once you’ve crossed off five in a row, you’ll have a chance to win one of two $50 giftcards to visit Emma’s Country Kitchen in Toronto! Emma’s is a living wage certified business with delicious food. Find the giveaway rules through the link in our Instagram bio.
Submit here by Nov. 6!
Our Instagram @theeyewideopen
Unsung MVP carried your coworkers through the shift
Worked both days during a weekend
Got thrown under the bus for a mistake you didn’t make
Had a coworker who viewed the staff list as contestants competing for their love
Missed work on the day something exciting finally happened
Sat through outdated workplace training modules
Worked on a school assignment during your break or shift
Your boss threatened to fire you but never did
Received your training from the person who you were replacing
Accidentally called your manager “mom” or “dad”
Rebel without a cause
Felt like your workplace deserved its own reality TV show
Someone threw out or ate your lunch
Free Space
Wasn’t able/ forgot to take a break due to how busy the shift was
Had to help a customer even though they came in right before close
Seen your coworkers more than your own family in a week
Told people you’re “holding it out” at your terrible job until you find something better
Had a breakdown and almost quit during a shift
Had to work on your birthday or a public holiday
Successfully covered up a mistake without anyone noticing
Accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person
Manager folded to a customer after you already told them “no”
Been the reason for a passiveaggressive memo saying “Just a friendly reminder…”
Maintained close friendships with coworkers after you quit
Got anxious when someone asked “Who closed last night?” and it was you
By Victoria Alexander
How to kill time at work
‘Til death do us part
Written by Dylan Rivero Visuals By Saif-Ullah Khan
