Volume 25, Number 5
September & October 2010 • A publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County
Cover sculpture: “Venus” by Mary Dee Thompson
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Women’s Press
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Women’s Press September & October 2010
Letter from the Editor Courtney’s Quill
Cover Artist
Mary Dee Thompson
I have loved art most of my life and have been sculpting since the seventies. While I occasionally work in clay, I prefer working directly in wax and casting in bronze. My work is generally figurative and small in scale. My earlier work was heavily influenced by Henry Moore with a focus on the female form.
A few weeks ago, I took my kids on a trip to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Oregon, where we traveled almost all over the state. While in Portland, my daughter Maddie, noticing all the homeless people in the city, quipped, “Man, if I were homeless, I’d want to live in San Luis Obispo where the weather is much better.” While a cute observation, she isn’t much off. The Maxine Lewis Memorial Homeless Shelter and the Prado Day Center both report an increase in their population. Furthermore, according to a study conducted by the National Association of Home Builders, taken during the second quarter of 2010, San Luis Obispo county ranked 3rd on the list for least affordable places to live. We fall only below New York City and San Francisco.
In my current sculpture, I playfully explore the human form. I find natural materials that suggest a figure. I then more fully develop the figure with wax and cast it directly into bronze using the lost wax process. I apply patinas to the cast piece to express the underlying feeling of the work.
With such high prices, perhaps there’s a correlation between how many people are struggling in this economy in this county. Sadly, not a day goes by that I don’t notice someone on the street asking for help. Fortunately, I also notice how many people in this community strive to give back. As we enter the holiday months, I implore you to give back, and as our next Voices around the Table asks, “How do you give back to your community?” I’m interested in what you’re doing. You can send your responses to womenspress.slo@gmail.com. If you have an opinion that warrants more than just a few words on the subject, write an article and send it in. Our deadline for the November and December issue is October 10th. With an array of articles and opinions to publish for our county to read, I’m sure we can enlighten our viewers about the many ways we can help others in our county.
While my current work is clearly influenced by Giacometti, it expresses my own personal vision—one that is whimsical, imaginative, and feminine.
Courtney Brogno
Women’s Press Voices, views, and visions of the women of San Luis Obispo County, California 6,000 free copies distributed in SLO County • Subscriptions are available staff
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Sonia Paz Baron-Vine MaryAine Curtis Inglis Carre-Dellard Ruth Cherry Jeanie Greensfelder Laura Grace Judythe Guarnera Hilda Heifetz Lisa Jouet Angie King Heather Mendel Berta Parrish Robin Rinzler Adele Sommers Andrea Zeller
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Submissions welcome The Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo County, founded in 1974, under the name Women’s Resource Center, exists to educate, enlighten, and empower women and their families in San Luis Obispo County by helping them seek new ways to express and develop themselves to be a center for the repository and exchange of information of interest and concern to women through workshops, seminars, classes and other outlets; to facilitate communication with other women’s resources both locally and nationally. WCC produces the Women’s Press in furtherance of these goals.
Body & Soul 3
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Let Your Belly Dance
Photo by Afonso Lima
By Hertha Wolff-Arend On my last trip to Germany, I made an interesting discovery. My old and very good friend told me that she had joined a belly dancing group. Wow! I was impressed and frankly this was the last thing that I would have expected from her. I had known her more as an athlete. She liked to bike and swim, or she was running around town on her rollerblades. What had happened to her, or had I simply failed to perceive who she really was? Anyway, I was very excited to join her at her next belly dancing class to see what I obviously had not seen before in my friend. Before I talk about what I experienced with that group, I must first share with you my prejudices. I thought belly dancing was for slightly overweight, but very female looking women. It was an erotic dance for women that enjoy showing off their curves. The music gets on my nerves if I am not used to it, like listening to heavy metal in your 80s. That’s enough confession about my prejudices right now. Let’s move on to what I actually experienced after I decided to encounter this event with an open mind and a lot of compassion.
My friend introduced me to the group of women participating in the class. What I saw was not what I had expected: living proof that any prejudices are worthless and unfair. I met a group of maybe ten women. They were practicing for an upcoming show and there was a lot of excitement and chatting in the room. The participants’ ages ranged from the mid-twenties to the mid-sixties. They were the nicest women you can imagine and by far neither overweight nor showing off or exposing various body parts. There were retired women, an actress, a housewife, a manager... you name it. Their bodies varied too. Some were rather skinny, others more slender or a little bit chubby in certain areas. Some women moved smoothly, others moved a little bit more stiffly, but what they all had in common was a certain feeling for rhythm and music. They obviously had a lot of fun, and I witnessed female power and spirit at its best. What an experience! The group practiced their show dance on and on, and I could not get enough watching them. They moved their hips and bellies in a way that I could not. They obviously managed to build a lot of stomach muscles and their bodies radiated the message: Look at me; I am beautiful; I am
self-confident; I am in connection with my body. What a delight to watch them. All of the women expressed beauty and elegance in their dancing that had nothing to do with perfection. There was no perfect body, but they all looked fantastic and in synch with their inner -self when dancing.
appeared to me in a new light. I saw her femininity and beauty in a way I have not seen before. When she danced to the music, I saw a beautiful and self-confident woman through and through, and that confirmed to me that we are what we feel and not what we pretend to be.
I learned a lot that afternoon, and one big learning definitely was that belly dancing is not just an ordinary dance, but a wonderful form of being a woman. It does not matter if you are skinny or chubby, young or old, tall or short, or whatever. What counts is that you are in synch with yourself. It is important that you are able to accept who you are —the total package.
If you want to find encouragement and empowerment, I invite you to visit my blog:
Women are often unhappy about their looks and do not accept what they see in the mirror. The media feeds us with pictures of beauty that we feel we cannot compete with. Forget all that! Instead embrace who you are and also love the little imperfections we all have. Beauty has nothing to do with perfection but with attitude and acceptance. If you still do not believe what I am saying, join a belly dancing group and experience it for yourself. For me the whole event was an eye opener. Suddenly even my athlete friend
www.beawomanandactlikeone.com
Hertha Wolff-Arend is a business coach and writer located in Paso Robles, California. She used to write a column for a local magazine, she gives motivational speeches before women’s organizations and events, and she works with local business owners and managers to support them in their leadership skills and personal development. Hertha is devoted to supporting women in business, with a focus on women in middle management who are aiming at a career in the higher ranks or who want to develop their own business. For more information visit her website: www.HWA-Coaching. com or read her blog, address above.
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Body & Soul
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Caring for your Soul By Laura Grace
The soul looketh steadily forward creating a new world before her, leaving worlds behind her.
As much as our egos tend to yearn for material things, sexual fulfillment, excitement, recognition, a feeling of importance, financial security, our soul appreciates depth, heart, connection, and personal substance. In the book Care of the Soul by –Emerson Thomas Moore, he states: “Soul is nothing like ego. Soul is closely connected to fate, As I sit down to write this article, I am and the turns of fate almost always go still reflecting on a walk I took less than counter to the expectations and often to the an hour ago. It was a soulful journey desires of the ego.” along the Pacific shoreline. These walks have become a time for caring for my soul Currently, I am experiencing a “soul-shift.” because it is on these walks that I feel most I’ve been through this a few times before connected to what is most important, to and have learned to recognize the signs cultivating depth and sacredness in my that precede the shift: a subtle yet conlife. Not an easy thing to do when, like sistent “nagging” feeling that it’s time to many women, I feel responsible for taking expand beyond my comfort zones. Feelings care of others, sometimes at the expense of of vulnerability, excitement, then fear inevmy own needs. itably surface, signals that I am “on my way.” Where I’m going is not always clear. One of the things I’ve learned over the I just know I’m on the precipice of experiyears is that soul doesn’t automatically encing yet another dimension of my soul’s flow into our life, it entails attention and wondrous destiny and that there’s no guarskill. Some of the symptoms we may expe- antee where it is leading me. I experienced a rience when we’re living a less than soulful soul-shift when I left my ex-husband, when life include: yearning for personal ful- I resigned from the corporate world and fillment, hunger for spirituality, loss of committed my life to service, when I moved values, emptiness, depression, and disil- across the country from the Midwest to lusionment about work/marriage/family/ California, and now as I write this article. relationship.
A few weeks ago, as the Spiritual Leader of the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment, I conducted my final service. Arriving at the decision to release this role, after experiencing so much love from countless people, was challenging on many levels. And on the surface, my decision was confusing to many, but I am reminded that the human soul is not meant to be understood. It is meant to be authentic, to ask the hard questions and be willing to be true to ourselves despite pressure and expectation from others. In 1890, writer Elizabeth Cady Stanton expressed, “Your soul longs for you to journey deep within to find the compelling answers to these questions. The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us…the divine floods of light and life no longer flows into our souls.” And now, in the spirit of calling forth more soul into my life, I am taking a three month sabbatical to feed my soul, something I’ve never given myself permission to do before. Culinary classes, artwork, spiritual retreats, international travel, and writing are part of my three month plan, but I’m aware that I don’t have to go anywhere to experience more soulfulness. For me, capturing the song of my soul
Photo by Bianca Meyer geb. Bollmeirer
includes listening to music that awakens deep feeling, digging and planting in the dirt, driving down country roads with the top of my car down, andPhoto deeply inhaling by Marek Bernatthe salty ocean air as I walk along the beach all nurture my soul. What are some ways that you could bring more soul into your life today? Slowing down? Reflecting? Walking barefoot in Nature? Sipping a cup of tea while reading a good memoir? Treating yourself to a movie that has heart and soul? Sending a friend your favorite poem or spiritual quote? As we care for our own souls, may we remember what Emily Dickinson meant when she once wrote: “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.”
Laura Grace is the Spiritual Leader for the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment in San Luis Obispo (www.spiritualcircle. org), an interfaith spiritual community. Laura is also a teacher and spiritual director, and a member of Spiritual Directors International. A syndicated columnist for more than twenty publications, Laura has penned 200 articles on spiritual growth and is the author of the books Gifts of the Soul and The Intimate Soul.
Body & Soul 5
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Open Your Heart And I Am There by Barbara Atkinson
“The only internal relationship anyone ever has is with the higher Self... Self-love grows when you refuse to follow the impulses of anger and fear, trust that the universe is on your side, form your desires from the heart and watch the higher Self carry them out, believe that you are enough in and of yourself… put your attention on positive energies in every situation, honor your own needs without having to seek outside approval, and cultivate the peace of inner silence.” –Deepak Chopra Most of us equate an open heart with love, unconditional love being its highest form. I suggest that an open heart is not an outpouring of emotion-filled sentimental love toward everyone (which can lend itself to condoning mistreatment of yourself and others and excusing unacceptable behavior). Rather, an open heart is a grateful heart; it receives love by releasing resistance — the resistance we have to forgiving ourselves and others, thereby accepting self-love and gratitude for All There Is. This sets the stage for unconditional love, compassion, a love not clearly
understood. Unconditional or compassionate love accepts others as they are and wishes them no ill-will, i.e., we are without malice and desire only good for them. It’s a love that is birthed in the center of our being, the solar plexus, and then expressed through the heart, because, on its own, the heart can be led by emotion. Therein lies the confusion. A pure heart works in concert with the intuitive, discerning solar plexus.1 In themselves, the universal language of emotions acts as inner messengers (gut feelings) with information to be valued and honored. You’ve heard that your identity does not lie with your thoughts; well, they don’t lie with your emotions either. You are called to identify with your Divine nature, your true self, not your personality. You have a personality; it isn’t who you are. Emotions can help us form attractions and bonds to a partner, our children, our culture, and the beauty around us. Nevertheless, emotions can be picked up from others and also be distorted by inner shadows. These can lead love to express itself as zeal and projected angst allowing us to follow harsh dictators (both without and within), national and cultural aggression, and misinterpreted religious beliefs that persecute others in the name of Love, God, Allah, or the like. Even though we may deeply love our spouse, children, and friends, most of us have tossed judgments or verbal assaults their way at one time or another or repressed them into self-loathing. By attaching to our emotion — i.e., assuming it is part of who we are — we associate a reason to blame it on, projecting anger and frustration that gives form to shadow. This is reacting rather than responding to what these non-judgmental emotions are trying to tell us about ourselves or others: emotions leading as opposed to emotions informing. How do we reconcile these disparities of love? By releasing resistance and recognizing that compassionate love is a by-product of self-love, the doorway leading to it. When you open your heart with gratefulness and give way to accepting, respecting, and loving yourself, you receive the power of grace
that has been waiting for you: the blossoming of the higher Self (inner Christ, Buddha, Goddess, etc.). Then, and only then, are you capable of compassionate love. You express the divinity and harmony that lives in everyone and pervades all life. Ego no longer runs the show; it is now in service to Spirit. This self-love necessitates an end to the inner struggle of ego-in-charge, the cause of distress in all of us (because ego is unable to detach from the outcome or wanting control). Whether our bodies are healthy, diseased, or otherwise suffering, releasing resistance to this grateful love brings us peace. It is the whole point of the inner journey; all woes boil down to its suppression. It entails facing and embracing our fears, negative habit-thinking, regrets and denials, and taking full responsibility for ourselves: no victim thinking, martyr behavior, projected angst, or ego inflation When we take responsibility for ourselves by opening our heart, we stop chasing imperfections, accept what is with gratefulness, and recognize we are enough. (This is not resignation; accepting what is brings about an opening for change, movement and transformation.) Grace intervenes and we hold ourselves in the embrace of loving kindness. This grace awakens the wisdom and creative power of the Self, a wonder to behold. Accepting what is (ourselves as we are; the situation as it stands) without judgment or attachment to the outcome, allows the Self to be liberated and take the lead; it is recognition of ego’s powerlessness to end the inner struggle. This recognition is what is meant by humility. Until our own inner work is done, we often meet others at the level of our misperceptions and wounds, thereby having the opportunity to move ourselves into harmony. Then, as we become more aligned with Spirit, we begin to meet the other with Divine clarity. We’re no longer sidetracked by the distortions of the other; rather through compassion, we see the Divine in the other. This is where we connect. This is where all harmonizing occurs. The grateful love that emanates from a resurrected Self can do no less than recognize its reflection in everything else. It is our innate nature: how we see and treat our-
selves is reflected in how we see and treat others. We often give ourselves away by what we criticize, harshly judge, and find fault with in others. If we hold other’s feet to the fire, our own feet also burn with self-judgment and recrimination, whether conscious or deeply buried. At the same time, it is healthy and normal to discern with whom we feel comfortable and wish to spend time, and with whom we don’t. Even in families, we may find we have an attachment of birth, but not an intimacy of friendship. It is not that we have a “kinship of personality” with all whom we encounter. Rather, what we recognize and acknowledge is our kinship of Spirit. As we release resistance to accepting ourselves, our grateful heart is opened to receive the grace of compassion for others in the solar plexus of our being. That compassion allows us to move out of reaction and realize, just as we did with ourselves, that the wrong turns, unkindness, even brutalities, put forward by others are based on their own self-judgments, distortions, and suppressed hurts projected outward — we can forgive others even as we hold them accountable for their actions. With this pure heart (gut and heart in concert), we bring forth the higher Self and cease to attract negativity and radiate the peaceful embrace of unconditional, compassionate love.
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The solar plexus is both a spiritual energy center in many belief systems and scientifically has been found to house many nerve receptors. A network of nerves in your belly is in constant communication with your brain; it’s often referred to as the brain in the gut. Notes professor Kevin Olden, MD, “Gut feelings are a very definite form of information,…called the enteric system, it contains over 100 million neurons. That’s more than the spinal cord.” UCLA gastroenterologist, Emeran Mayer, theorizes that, “As much as 80% of our well-being might come from the complicated interplay between the brain in our head and the one in our gut.”
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Body & Soul
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Accepting More By Ruth Cherry, PhD Surrender is the mid-life stance. We have had decades to ‘run our will’ and we have seen the results. It has been fine (or it hasn’t) but now it’s time to move on. We sense deeper rumblings and we want to give them their due. We choose not to do 30 more years the way we’ve done the last 30 because we know there’s something more. We may not be able to define it, but in our souls we know that ‘this’—whatever form ‘this’ has taken—can’t be It. We long for a greater meaning and it’s with more than hope that we count on it. We listen to our intuitive glimpses acutely and though we may not be able to rationalize them, we know we must follow them. If we don’t, we have pulled the curtain on our own life and suddenly that becomes the greatest crime there is — to curtail our individuality ourselves. We are willing to embrace a vulnerability that before has scared us. It seems OK to announce to the world that we don’t know exactly what we want or what we are doing or even who we are becoming. Committing to the process of living our lives momentarily with presence and passion is all that
is really important. Particular outcomes are irrelevant now. They were all consuming in the first half of our lives when we could tolerate extended education and entry level jobs for what we saw could be, some far off day in the future.
somewhere in the middle of us, nearer our hearts but even deeper. And we realize that living from our centers is essential: that we are not truly alive if we don’t. And we are not alive if we know the last step before we take the first. We yearn for an adventure of a sort that we’ve never taken. An adventure of Well, now that far off day is here. We have our spirit. And that demands complete surpaid our dues. Maybe we have ‘arrived,’ render and trust. but whether or not we’ve been rewarded for our efforts, we’re not satisfied. And we That surrender, when it finally happens, can’t convince ourselves that setting another when we’re finally willing to climb into goal and embarking on another project will the back seat and go along for the ride, is assuage our restlessness. We know how to freeing in a way we’ve not experienced. The do that. We’ve done it. Over and over and joy is intoxicating as we realize there aren’t over again. So why do it one more time? any more shoulds and that any limits are Suddenly we can’t spare the energy or the self-imposed. Or, more specifically, minddays which seem to be dwindling increas- imposed. But our minds are not where our ingly rapidly. Wasn’t it only yesterday when, allegiance lies anymore. We’ll never lose our at 25, we embarked on our ‘life work?’ good judgment, but we’ve moved to a deeper level where thinking restricts our aliveness And it’s been great, but there’s more. Deep and we cannot tolerate anything, anything, in our souls we know there is more. There that artificially limits that spirit inside us. has to be. We’ve mastered every challenge life has presented us and … now what? We align with our life spirit and by committing to follow it, we surrender. And we are Our minds can’t answer that question. So completely ready and able to do so. Even if we move out of our minds. That isn’t where we can’t leave our jobs because there are still our dissatisfaction originates anyway. It’s children in school, we find expressions for
Nurturing Knowing and Being Known By Jeanie Greensfelder My parents were private people, not sharing feelings with each other or their children. I guessed a lot about who they were and how they felt, and realize that many in their generation were unaware of the value of knowing themselves, knowing others, and being known.
Once we experience being known, we can practice offering the gift of deep listening to another and asking, “Is there more?” when a story or feeling is shared. Journalist Brenda Euland wrote “Listen to your wife, your husband, your father, your mother, your children, your friends; to those who love you and those who don’t, to those who bore “I see that I am being seen, therefore I you, to your enemies. It will work a small exist,” a line by British psychoanalyst, D.W. miracle.” Winnicott, illustrates the life-giving importance of having someone in your life who As a therapist, wife, mother, friend, and knows you and appreciates you. Sharing fellow human being, I’ve had the privilege who we are with another helps us to know of witnessing the miracle of listening. While ourselves. Of course, this can be a primary we each experience unique, amazing lives, benefit of psychotherapy. we all have fears, the longing for love, and the desire to be valued.
Notice when you feel good with people and when you don’t and why you think that might be. Who brings out the best in you? Why? Who are the people you’d like to know better? During a day be curious about people you come in contact with. Wonder who they are and what guides them. When possible ask a question. There is always more to learn about loved ones. Attentive listeningis one of the most valuable gifts we can give another person.
amuseandmuse.blogspot.com slocoastjournal.com/docs/geniespocket.html
our creativity. We live from our souls. We feel our connections to others, maybe even folks we haven’t met and join with them in their struggles. Our compassion flows from some place deeper within ourselves than we have lived for most of our lives. The aliveness we feel when we surrender compels us to surrender again the next day and the next and the next. By surrendering we acknowledge a force we do not control and we commit to work with it. This partnership answers our longing for something more, something deeper, something lasting. This union feels like a reunion—that we have come back not only to a part of ourselves but to a home we had forgotten. There is a rightness and an indefensible certainty that living in partnership is the only way to live now that makes any sense. It looks on the outside like it makes no sense at all, but in our hearts, we sigh and say, ‘it’s good to be home.’ Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA. Her specialty is midlife when psychological and spiritual dynamics merge.
Body & Soul 7
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Spirituality Matters
Ovarian Cancer Clinical Trials Gives New Hope For Patients Conscious Compassion By Heather Mendel
By Lori Hanna Robertson and seeks to find better ways to prevent, diagnose, or treat cancer. Local clinical trials have been available since 1994 thanks to the efforts of Dr. Palchak and his affiliation with the University of California, San Dr. David Palchak’s oncology practice in Diego and in association with the Cancer Pismo Beach is proud to announce that a and Leukemia Cooperation Group B and national clinical trial testing a new ovarian Clinical Trials Support Unit. cancer treatment has proven superior to standard treatment. This achievement puts In this latest ovarian cancer clinical trial, Dr. the drug, Avastin, one step closer to FDA Palchak and his research team participated approval for use in ovarian cancer patients. in GOG-0218, a clinical trial to test the effectiveness of Avastin with chemotherapy Clinical trials are research studies in in the initial treatment of ovarian cancer. which people can voluntarily participate. Avastin works by inhibiting the growth of Each study addresses scientific questions new blood vessels. “The first two women to
South County Patients Are Receiving Best Ovarian Cancer Treatment
Soft Feminine Power
The Olympian orcas arc smoothly in and out of the water, thrilling all in the nearby zodiac, bobbing up and down on the gentle swell, close enough to glimpse the graceful black and white bodies revealing, then concealing themselves beneath the water surface. Out of human sight, they feed on some of the ocean’s smaller creatures. The squawking gulls above noisily vie for their A menu of clinical trials is available for more share of the spoils. than half of patients with ovarian, breast, lung, gastrointestinal, and prostate cancers. One cannot help but stand in awe of the To learn more about all of the clinical trials natural order that when unimpeded by available please contact Dr. Palchak’s office human interference and greed, seamlessly at (805) 474-9143, or visit the website at cycles and evolves. From the tiniest organism to the most majestic animals that populate www.centralcoastoncology.com. ocean, air and land, life needs to be taken so that life can be maintained in the ‘eat or be eaten’ order of the natural world. receive this treatment in San Luis Obispo County did so in a clinical trial through my office,” says Dr. Palchak. “GOG-0218 defined a new standard for the treatment of ovarian cancer for researchers. While this new treatment is not yet FDA approved, it remains available through another clinical trial available in my office.”
MaryAine Curtis MRET, CMT Is there a gentle soul in your life that you know loved you and nurtured you: someone that you respected and someone who rarely raised her voice to get your attention? She had or has grace and wisdom. You felt good in her presence. She may have come by this way of being naturally or she made choices about how to be with herself and others. We may all know a person like this.
I was recently witness to a situation where I watched a woman trying to express her wishes to a man. She was expressing her fear and pain in an angry way by screeching and shouting, and it wasn’t accomplishing anything. It became worse and she finally exhausted herself in her anger. As I watched, I kept thinking, he can’t hear you, lower your voice. Then she made a simple request in a quiet yet strong voice. The man instantly responded to her request. He could finally hear her and respond to her.
Women, how many of you get snarly and prickly with your men and family when you aren’t feeling your best? In another situation between two women, one woman wanted what the other one had How does it work for you? and was willing to take it. She took it quite harshly. Rather than fighting the woman, I’m bringing this up because of the changes the first woman gave the second woman we are feeling and the amount of uncer- what she wanted so intensely. The second tainty about the future heard in many woman, still feeling threatened, tried to conversations these days. We can no longer justify her action by saying terrible things to deal with life circumstances by pretending the woman that “gave in.” When this tirade they will go away. We are moving at a much was over, the calmer and stronger woman faster pace and the changes we need to keep simply asked the second woman: “do you up with are making many of us uneasy. have any idea how precious you are?” The harsh woman started sobbing. She was So imagine making a choice by asking expecting a fight to get what she wanted. yourself, “how important is it to ?” When she was freely given what she wanted, Would I rather be right or happy? it softened her heart.
We choose how we respond to circumstances and we often react from a fear based perspective: fear of not getting what we want or not having what we need. We always have a choice though, whether to respond without thinking or have the grace to respond in a manner that we will feel good about.
What does the human witness feel as an observer? Where is the compassion for the sacrificed individual member of the hunted species who make continuance of the life of the hunter possible? Who can feel dread for the hapless seal sunning itself on a floating log as the orcas approach, for the buck being separated from the herd by the hungry pride of lionesses, or the tiny rabbit as the eagle swoops? Without the hunt, predators die. With the hunt, the prey dies. Life and death: the two most mysterious portals to the world unseen, inextricably connected, one to the other.
A calm, respectful communication amongst us will naturally help to create a more empowered and peaceful world. It is my As consciousness evolves within the human obligation to do my part in this. Will you species, we intuit that perhaps compassion is largely a human trait and one with which we join me? are specifically endowed to bring this loving Are you willing to watch how you react and energy into the Earth’s field. It is a right and how you respond for the next week or so a responsibility. As we learn to love uncondiand genuinely make an effort to change the tionally, do we enlivened the arena in which areas that are not bringing you inner peace? we find ourselves, fulfilling our piece of the Women can be peacemakers if they choose puzzle? to know themselves and heal the wounds that make them react in fear. We are being B’shalom called upon to make this world a better and more peaceful place to live in. We can do this with soft feminine power. www.wordartist.com www.return2joy.com
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Day With Creative Women
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Day With Creative Women
The Music of DWCW 2010 By Sonia Paz Baronvine WCC Board Member
What a perfect day it turned out to be! The musical performances started on time at 10am with the acoustic sounds of Carol Lowell and Kristen Black. The smooth sounds of the Flutists of the Central Coast followed. Then we welcomed the cheerful women of the Central Coast Celebration Chorus. It was impossible not to sing along with their happy songs.
AUGUST 14, 2010
SLO MISSION PLAZA
At 11am we welcomed the Women’s Drum Group with Sandy Dent dancing to the beat. An hour later, Maheyla and the Ritual took the stage (pictured above). She is an amazing guitarist with a strong voice. After a short lunch break, Blue Moon Haven enthralled everyone with their lively belly dancing. Then the Chrome Addicts, Patty Dee and Andrea Iversen made everyone dance with their steel drum rhythms.
Soon the stage was full of colors and sounds as Jenna and the World Dancers regaled us with many dances set to international music, including a Bollywood style dance performed by Gina Cinardo and an Anam Yoga dance performed by Raquel Mitchell. Chick Tuesday was the perfect ending for a great afternoon of music and dance. WCC thanks all the superb musicians for participating. We hope to see you next year!
Day With Creative Women 9
Women’s Press September & October 2010
By the time you read this, we will have recuperated from the excitement of the 36th year of producing Day with Creative Women. Let me tell you, what a wonderful time we had. With the help this year of SLO County Commission on the Status of Women, DWCW has reached a higher level of perfection—if such a thing is possible! Day with Creative Women provides an opportunity for women artists and artisans to display their talents and sell their wares, for non-profit organizations to provide the community with information about their services, and for businesswomen interested in promoting their services. We had a whole lot of returning vendors, women who come year after year, and a lot of new ones, too. We hope they will all become returning vendors next year. Music is always a large part of this event, and this year was no exception. From the opening act, Carol Lowell Group; on through the day with the “Fun Flutes,” led by Bonnie Richan; the Central Coast Celebration Chorus, an a cappella women’s four part harmony choral group that sings in the Barbershop tradition; our own local women’s drumming group; to Maheyla & the Ritual, performing a wide variety of roots and genre music; to Middle Eastern belly dance and world music performers; a Steel Drum Duo; and Swing and Rock music band Chick Tuesday, the music rocked!
SLO, Coast Hills Federal Credit Union, Coast National Bank, SESLOC Federal Credit Union, Pacific Bankcorp, Mission Community Bank, Core Mediation Services, Meathead Movers, Bill Gaines Sound, SLO Graphics, Von’s, Smart and Final, Costco, Central Coast Radio, KCBX-FM, and New Times. Thank you for providing underwriting support and in kind services to help make the event a success.
As with all major events open free to the public, lots of volunteer work is needed behind the scenes to make the event a success. WCC appreciates the efforts of all our volunteers both during the planning Day with Creative Women is a fundraising phase and on the day of the event. Special event to benefit the Women’s Community thanks to the Teens at Work from the Center of San Luis Obispo County, dedi- Atascadero Community Link. cated to the empowerment of women, and the SLO County Commission on the And a special thank you to everyone who Status of Women, serving as the voice for participated in coming to the Mission, women to the County Board of Supervisors. whether for the food, the music, the art, We could not put on this event without the raffle items, or just the energy and the generous support of our community enthusiasm of all the Creative Women in sponsors: the city of SLO, the County of our county!
10 Day With Creative Women
Day With Creative Women
2008
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Photos from recent years.
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Day With Creative Women 11
Edana Hall Licensed Midwife mothersbirth@holisticmidwifery.com 805-801-3806 New office and Birth Center opening: San Luis Business Center @ Higuera & Los Osos Valley Rd. San Luis Obispo, CA
2009
Mira Vista Apartments 11153 El Camino Real Atascadero CA 93422 ph/fax 805.461.1143 www.miravistaapts.com
Safe • Clean Quiet • Non-Smoking
12
4251 S. Higuera Street, Suite 800, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | 805 544-9313
THE MISSION OF THE WCC IS:
Calling All (or most) Used Tech Equipment By Robin Rinzler Our newest fundraiser involves collecting items that would otherwise pollute our landfills. These items listed below will bring money to The Women’s Community Center, and will be recycled properly or fixed and resold. Don’t throw these in the trash, call us now and see if we can turn them into much needed cash for the WCC!
Women’s Community Center
BETTER Supervised Visitation
• TO maintain an accessible center to collect and exchange information of interest and concern to women • TO organize and facilitate workshops, clinics, seminars, classes, and support groups on subjects of interest and need • TO engage in and facilitate interaction among local, state, and national agencies and organizations working to benefit women
Building Enduring Ties That Enrich Relationships. Our newest project and one we are very proud to offer to the San Luis Obispo County is the BETTER Supervised Visitation Program. We provide trained Supervision Monitors for non-custodial parents on a sliding scale with fees as low as $10 per hour, allowing children to spend good quality time with their noncustodial parent.
• • • • • • • • •
While the Music Plays
Cell phones Ink Jet Printer Cartridges Laptops & Notebooks MP3 Players Digital Cameras (still & video) Radar Detectors GPS Devices Radar Detectors Kindle & Sony Book Readers
Family Law Action Committee Dealing With Divorce 3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM Sept 15, Oct 20 and Nov 17 $10 donation Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic 4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM Upcoming: Sept 28, Oct 26 and Nov 23 Reservations required. $40 donation
By Sonia Paz Baronvine
A sunny day in San Luis Obispo by the Mission I listen to the sounds of guitars, drums and feminine voices while sisters from near and far These items can be working or not, like butterflies fill the plaza damaged or not. Drop off your item with their art and music.... or items at the Women’s Community Center, 4251 S. Higuera Street (where Another year has passed Los Osos Valley Road dead ends into and once more we meet S. Higuera Street) and we can turn under the sycamores that into $$ for our many projects! laughing and hugging Call 544-9313 if you have any questions! happy to see each other..... Thanks for your support!
There are familiar faces we welcome each year and new ones wonder among the crafts ... I smile at all of them sitting on the lawn while the music plays...
Motherhood 13
Women’s Press September & October 2010
BETTER Supervised Visitation Program By Rebecca Said WCC Board Member
On Being a Perfect Mother By Diane Halsted Now I’ve opened a can of worms, and they are squirming and squiggling across the page as I write. So much has been said about mothering, and I have only a little more to add. First off, I believe we mother as we wish we had been mothered. My mother told me what to do from the day I was born until the day she died. I wanted a quiet mother. I became a quiet mother to my two children. I didn’t tell them to wear jackets; I figured they were smart enough to know when they were cold or might become cold. If they weren’t already, they soon would be. I didn’t tell them which activities to pursue; I simply said they could participate in one activity that needed me to transport them and as many as they wanted to if they could get there on their own steam. My children might have wanted more advice. I give absolutely no unsolicited advice, and I waffle when they ask. I will discuss a situation as long as they choose and offer possibilities, but my children will never hear those four terrible words “if I were you.” I am just plain not either one of my children, and so I instead express confidence that they will know what to do when they have to do it. I also accept that in my mothering as I wanted to be mothered, I may not be moth-
Imagine you, as a parent, have been told that you are not allowed to see or spend time with your child without supervision. The divorce or separation from your significant other was difficult. You may have struggled with significant personal issues and may be actively addressing them. There may be accusations that are true or untrue regarding your character or ability to be alone with your child. Still the family court judge decides that your child is not safe in your care and that your visitation with him or her must be supervised by an adult. Then, you are told that the only supervision service is $65 an hour. What if you are on unemployment, Social Security Income, or Disability Photo by Griet Cornille and can barely afford your own daily living expenses? As a consequence you are not able to see your child for weeks, months, or perhaps years.
ering as my children want or need. I’ve told This is the situation that many families in them it is up to them to voice unmet needs. San Luis Obispo County face. The Woman’s Community Center became aware of this Next, in mothering, as in just about all problem last summer when a woman conother endeavors, less is more. The best way tacted our office and reported that she for less to actually be more is to have done had not been able to see her child for over a good lot of parenting during the child’s a year because she could not afford it. The early years. When I hear small children Woman’s Community Center decided to do running in a hotel, I am reminded of my something about this situation and estabparents teaching my sister and me hotel lished the BETTER (Building Existing manners. We practically tiptoed down the Ties That Enrich Relationships) Supervised hall so we wouldn’t disturb other guests, Visitation Program in March 2010. On a and we kept our voices down in the room sliding scale that is affordable for everyone, for the same reason. We were well aware noncustodial parents are able to spend that others besides us existed in the world quality time with their children while the and deserved consideration and respect. courts sort out their custody issues. Since this was taught early on, my parents never had to deal with it later. My children When thinking about the need for this learned the same lesson. College students service most people think of men who have will always party, but I am convinced that lost custody of their children. However, over those who selfishly ignore their neighbors’ one third of BETTER’s clients are women. right to reasonable quiet in family residen- In some cases these people have issues tial areas probably ran down hotel hallways. with domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse, or mental illness. The establishment And finally, step back, step out, back off, and of BETTER has allowed these parents to enjoy being the parent of adult children. The maintain contact with their children after work is done for better or worse. Hindsight is always 20-20. I’ve told my children many times I always made what I thought was the very best decision I could make at the time I made it. That is all anyone can ever hold herself to. Being the perfect mother is completely impossible, but being the mother you are and loving yourself for it is perfect.
divorce or separation. Many children, who experience a long period of time separated from one of their parents, place the blame on themselves for the separation. This guilt may affect their current and future relationships. By strengthening their parental bonds, BETTER helps the child get through a separation they must still endure. The supervision monitors hired by BETTER are carefully chosen. They are background checked and trained to follow the rules of court regarding supervised visitation. They all have a love of children and a belief that divorce and separation of parents should not negatively affect the children. They find the work as a monitor gratifying when they see the joy on the children’s faces after spending some quality time with mom or dad. Monitors are trained in procedures to use if emergencies arise and place the utmost care in creating a safe environment for each visit. The non-custodial parents who have used BETTER have expressed appreciation for the services provided. They are happy to be able to schedule visits close to their homes and to see their children on a regular basis. They believe that BETTER has been effective in reuniting them with their children and in arranging visits such that both parents are cooperating with the BETTER program for the good of their children. Although most clients are referred to BETTER from the family court, some clients are self-referred. If both parents agree to use BETTER services for the supervised visits, a court order may not be necessary. Sometimes supervision of the visitation is ordered to be conducted by a family member or family friend, but sometimes that individual does not want the responsibility or finds the supervision to be too time consuming. If you are a parent who could use these services, please contact BETTER Supervised Visitation at (805) 544-9313.
14 Motherhood
Women’s Press September & October 2010
What’s my girl going through? By Tom Stein
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-changes — David Bowie Conversations with adolescent girls sometimes seem like intergalactic travel, and because we don’t know what else to do, the most tenacious adults among us keep speaking English and adhering to our familiar customs with predictably mixed results. We practice that humorous definition of insanity: we do the same thing repeatedly, each time expecting a new outcome. And we probably are a little off-kilter, finding ourselves in bewilderingly alien territory. — Martha B. Strauss, Adolescent Girls in Crisis: Intervention and Hope Girls in the throes of adolescence can indeed be like aliens: one moment they are cuddling up next to you to watch a movie, the next yelling at you for intentionally hiding their favorite t-shirt. Their actions are bewildering, frustrating, and sometimes anger-provoking. Although all adults have gone through adolescence, selective memory protects us from re-experiencing that trying time. Let’s imagine what it might be like inside that developing body and soul: what exactly is happening as an adolescent girl enters and then proceeds through adolescence with all its baggage? Erik Erikson, famous for his Stages of Psychosocial Development, calls this stage Identity and Confusion. It is during this period that children are trying to work through the morass of changes in their body and brain, figuring out gender roles, exploring and making decisions about their sexuality, and questioning even basic relationships with friends and families. They are trying to make sense of the world and hoping to discover some sense of who they are. They crave guidance but want equally to find their own way.
Roughly between the ages of 10 and 17 girls go through momentous changes in their bodies and psyches. Physically hormones cause increases in weight and height, breasts enlarge, pubic hair grows, and menstruation begins. The changes may be rapid, confusing, and upsetting despite the fact that peers are going through the same changes. It feels strange, unique, and often shameful. Their brains, especially the left frontal lobe which governs rational thinking are not developed so reasonable behavior may fly out the window. As they begin the process of puberty, younger teens still think concretely in black and white terms. They perceive their parents’ behavior as weird or “uncool” and compare them unfavorably to the “better” parents of friends. Due to the rapid hormonal changes and an under developed frontal lobe, they have a sense they cannot be hurt, thus eagerly take on risks they avoided before. Socially they want to spend more time with peers than family, often turning to peers for advice on how to deal with problems. They explore new hair styles, clothing, and activities to develop an identity. They are often moody. This seems to be the time to test boundaries and social traditions as they explore their identity: experimenting with drugs and alcohol, getting in trouble with the law, pushing parents away. This is the time when parents will say: “I just don’t know what to do with her.” They’ll often turn to teachers or other adults who seem to “get” them, seeking the former closeness they used to have with their parents. All in all, it’s a rough time for girls. There is a lot going on, a lot to deal with, and they’re trying to cut themselves loose from the very people who have been most helpful in the past; they lash out at the safest people: parents. What are some things you can do to stay connected with your daughter during this tumultuous time? Realize it’s normal for teens to challenge your beliefs and values. They want to demonstrate they can be independent. As Erikson points out, it’s a teen’s job to assert her independence. Although age-appropriate limit setting is good, overcontrol may lead to more of the behavior you’re trying to have them avoid.
Attachment Parenting
Principle 7: Practice Positive Discipline
Listen to your daughter even if the content or timing may irritate you. If you’re talking more than 50% of the time, you’re talking By Lisa Jouet too much. She wants to be seen, heard, and have her ideas and opinions taken seriously (even if you don’t agree with them), not be As an attachment parent, I have found the idea of positive discipline to be much easier given advice and directives. for me than the actual implementation. Remember teens flip flop between being Now that my almost 4 year old daughter has an adult and being a child. Sometimes you become a young child rather than a toddler, might give them responsibilities for which she and I often disagree and experience they aren’t ready. Try to be aware when conflict instead of feeling the harmony we that happens and consider modifying your used to enjoy together. request so it matches her “age.” The journey to positive discipline has been Model the attitude and behavior you’d like one of lengthy introspection, study, and for your daughter. If you want her to be practice for me. When some of our disagreestrong, make her own decisions, and have ments occur I feel frustrated and sometimes healthy and enriching relationships, model exasperated. My husband gives me suggesthose for her. Teens tend to get their advice tions when I ask, but often I feel lost about and support from their peers, which may or how to approach triggers like our nightly tooth brushing routine. My daughter clamps may not be what they or you want. her mouth shut and refuses to open her Be authentic. Teens have the best B.S. mouth for me. I patiently ask her to open meters in the world. They aren’t looking her mouth and she shakes her head “No” for you to be their friend. They understand at me. What does a non-violent parent do you’re the parent. Adolescence is confusing in this situation, I wondered. After several enough without parents trying to be some- deep breaths, I finally figured out I could thing they aren’t. They may think you’re ask her if she wanted me to help her with weird, but they like knowing they can count her teeth or if she wanted to do her own teeth. She would point at me, meaning she on you to be there for them. wanted me to be the one helping. Asking Although your daughter may seem to not her to make a choice seemed to diffuse the want anything to do with you, studies have sense of conflict quickly. shown that teens actually want more time with their parents. Don’t forget to check in I also started a Love and Logic parenting class with my husband in May that lasted and affirm your love for them. six weeks and it cemented several things I This article is Part two of a series of four had been working on personally. When we articles on adolescent girls. Part 1 was take the time to read, discuss, and underentitled: What Happened to My Daughter? stand our children developmentally we can Next—Part 3: The Hidden Angst of Girls: get out of our own way when they challenge us. Often when we are in conflict with our Pressures confronting adolescents today. children, I learned we are “butting heads” because of things I was trying to control or “make her” do. I learned to slow down, Tom Stein is a Marriage and Family Therapist practice patience, and be consistent with and Certified Life Coach practicing in San follow through. This, along with giving our Luis Obispo. He specializes in working kids a chance to make as many of their own with teens and trauma. He can be condecisions as possible, gets us closer to cooptacted at tom@tomstein-therapist.com, eration and positive discipline. 805.881.3136, or visit his website at www.tomstein-therapist.com. www.attachmentparenting.org
Local Perspectives 15
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Wilmar Chronicles Part One: The House
By Anna Trent Moore We called it Benson’s house. It belonged to her. The house even looked a bit like Benson… older, leaner, and indifferent to the other houses nearby. One had a sense that it wasn’t interested in conversation or even small talk. Defying all others, the house stood alone, boldly positioning itself, an old sea house perched high on the cliff overlooking the big blue of the Pacific Ocean. The eyes of the house were its large, open windows that stared out toward the Pacific from its lofty perch. The paint was peeling, and the leaning shutters squeaked as the wind blew. Still, there was a quiet dignity about this house that stood proud. It was like an old soul that had lived many lives… just like Benson. I wondered, if it could talk, what stories it could tell. For a long time it lay empty… an abandoned shell. I passed by the house many times as I walked to my surf spot, and no one had lived between its walls at any time that I could remember. I felt with certainty that this house had been loved at one time. Empty now, it reminded me of a broken heart waiting to be loved again; oblivious to time, suspended, in wait for the right moment to resume rhythm… like a clock that needs rewinding so as to begin ticking once again. And then, one day she appeared; a car in the driveway and a little person digging in the front yard. And just like that, a rhythm began and the house came back to life.
to my surprise, I saw a tiny pumpkin. Soon, it grew larger, and the warmth of orange filled the place with a magic. Really, that pumpkin was a splendid sight. This house of Bensons with the orange pumpkin by the sea…it filled your heart with joy just to look at it. The next day, glancing over to see it again, I smiled when I saw that she had placed it on a rickety, wooden kitchen chair; positioning it so as to look out to sea. Nestled next to the house was the winding wooden stairs that led down to the beach. Faithfully, making the trek down the winding steps every evening, I would surf my spot. We called it Wilmar, after the street that led to it. And appropriate too because it’s a woman’s name. The street, Benson, Trina (my surfing buddy), myself, and even the house were all women. The only male thing was Benson’s dog, Wiley. A brute looking mutt with the demeanor of a puppy, his name was Wiley… Wiley Coyote. And oh how she loved to scold that boy dog! A loud voice booming from a thin, wiry body yelling out, “Wiley! Wileeeee! Where are you, you bad puppy!” That voice, filled with pretend anger, never left you with any doubt that she loved that Wiley Coyote more than anything.
Of course, there were other males that would pass through our Wilmar domain, but that was all that they were really doing: passing through. We, on the other hand, felt a kinship to Wilmar. It was as if we owned the spot. The quality of waves were…well, left to be desired. Still, it was our spot and therefore we felt that in a way, it belonged It was a long while before words were even to us. We even called it our beach. exchanged. I didn’t know how to approach such an odd little person, and besides, never And so it began this way on a crisp fall making eye contact, it was difficult to begin day in October that a street called Wilmar with even hello. Bent down to the ground became a separate world unto itself; susbusy at work, she seemed forever intent on tained by the pulse of an old house that was wanting no part of anything or anyone that brought to life by a strange little person who existed outside the perimeter of the house. called herself by one name. These are the stories of her people. In time, it was revealed that she intended to plant a garden of sorts right smack dab in They say that nothing lasts forever, and if the front yard. Soon, sunflowers and a veg- something ever did, I wanted to believe etable garden blossomed. One day, while it was this…Benson and her house with walking by with my surfboard tucked the pumpkin by the sea. A picture of time under my arm, I glanced over and spied a permanently transposed against the blanket bright orange glow under some leaves, and of blue.
The Dark Sea By Jeanie Greensfelder A brown, two-pound wet mop wiggles on the sand, separated from its mother. Atop a Harbor Patrol truck, a man watches for a parent otter to appear, to respond to the cry of its baby. A woman from Marine Rescue carries the pup into the icy surf. Arms high, she waits to be seen. Twice the mother comes close. After an hour the team leaves.
Two men return in a motor boat. One, wearing a yellow slicker, holds the pup. From the pier the woman rescuer scans the sea. Night falls: a possible sighting! The men head that way, place the baby in the water. Back away. Watch. Wait. On the dark sea the little otter drifts.
16 Local Perspectives
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Uncommon Denominator Unsung Heroine
Kathryn Rossi Growing the Brain, Healing the Body
By Berta Parrish
After three-and-a-half years of rehabilitation, she earned a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 1990, and soon added certification as a Sex and Couples Therapist. However, it was Milton Erickson’s approaches to therapeutic hypnosis, psychotherapy, and rehabilitation that resonated with her personal experience to provide the foundation for most of her research, publications, and extensive international consulting. “Neuroscience really turns me on.” She adds, “The way we grow new connections in our brains helps me understand the psychobiological reality of healing and of learning.”
Hope springs eternal. Anything is possible if you believe. Success is a state of mind. We all waver between belief and disbelief in these platitudes, depending upon our needs and our moods. We want them to be true, but our rational minds raise so many objections. However, the current neuroscience research should make us reconsider them. Can our thoughts really help heal our bodies? Kathryn Rossi, author and psychotherapist, believes they can, because she has experienced it, not once, but twice. Studying mind-body healing for the last thirty years, she knows the theory as well as the real life practice. Recent advances in neuroscience suggest that the brain never stops growing cells At the age of 27, after obtaining a Masters of (called neurogenesis) that link up to create Arts in Education (specializing in counsel- neural pathways by producing the necesing and guidance) from Cal Poly, Kathryn sary connections (called synaptic bonding). fell and broke her neck. Feeling extreme and Several factors facilitate neurogenesis, constant pain, she couldn’t read, watch tele- including physical movements, novel and vision, or socialize. “All I could do was to creative mental activity, sufficient sleep, and be quiet and think,” she recalls of this time. confidence. “So, I looked every day for the absence of pain. After 9 months it happened for five This knowledge certainly helped when she minutes. I then realized that I could stretch suffered short term memory loss due to this to become a lifetime without pain.” As a surfing accident in 2009. To heal from the pain subsided, she relearned to be com- this head injury she needed to learn somefortable all the time.
thing new, interesting, and challenging to grow and restructure her brain networks. She became a Certified Yoga Teacher and learned Sanskrit. Fortunately, she also discovered the therapeutic effects of art. “When you are inspired by art, or whatever stimulates your imagination,” she explains, “you go to a special place, to a healing place – some people experience it as a spiritual space.” “What fires together, wires together” is one of the memorable statements in the film What the Bleep do We Know? In addition to summarizing the learning and healing process, it describes Kathryn Rossi’s creative life. By consciously blending positive thinking with scientific knowledge, she enjoys a life full of hope, opportunity, beauty, and joy. Just as important, she pioneers a process for all of us.
For more information on Kathryn Rossi’s research, books, and workshops, visit http://www.KathrynRossi.com.
By Jane Elsdon Whenever I smell fresh scrubbed skin and pigskin leather I picture you, See the two of us together. Together we’ve done it all: scaled Everests of heredity and environment, trudged barren deserts of desperation, ascended peaks of peace and jubilation, entered the looking-glass of macrocosm and microcosm, challenged God, science, and ourselves. We’ve turned crumbs into a feast, Water into wine. We’ve walked on waves —from Armstrong to Williams, Ellington to Vaughn— prowled planets of poetry —from Blake to Kavanaugh, Levertov to Whitman— Meandered meadows of mild flowers And wild dreams, clung together, hidden, like hibernating cub floated hand in hand in the open night vulnerable to the universe and each other, together, yet alone. It is no wonder, then, that whatever I have learned of death and life, pain and peace, God and love, is intertwined with you. You are my uncommon denominator, beyond division; my unified field, beyond theory; you are my husband, my lover, my knowledge, beyond life.
Local Perspectives 17
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Two Poems By Ginny Conrow
A Piece of Peace
One thought grows to merge with others, while unseen passengers jump on for the ride.. Thoughts, not reality, swellinto an unseen tempest, frothy with angst. He said, she said; what right do they have, anyway? They should know; they should care! How dare they rain on my parade? And, furthermore, how could they have intimated this and that? They’ve done it before. Oh, the selfishness, the spitefulness! Bottom-feeding, now,in the lake of despondency, bitternesssneaks in to every crevice. The cycle completed, stagnation grows, and all is black. Actors and actressesrepeatcarefully rehearsed lines. The stage? Almost palpable. Almost... Only almost. Almost. Not...really... not reality. Oh... Reality is now; this tree, that bush, the sky,the breath, the grass, the birdsong, a voice. Allin this moment, the present...reality.
A sigh, a breath,a pause in the secrecy of thought.In stillness and calm,abit ofpeaceseeps in. A small piece, radiating inward and out; a whollydelightful, utterly satifying piece... of peace!
Letting Go... How many times do I have to stumble and fall? How many times...? When did I forget past grief from emotions worn raw? Was it not enough: the memories, the stern self-dialogue, the prayers? Apparently not! Yes, I went there again, with emotions untamed. I stirred the pot with a dirty spoon; contaminating all who partook. Words spiked with acid hurled, unafraid... and now, grief...again. I could, forever,drown in these juices of bitter regret,hoping to never again inflict pain. Presently, stewing still, I pause... I pauseto...listen. Wisdom gently whispers, “Let it go.” “Let go and let God”, yes, I’ve heard it all before. Be still...and know, He says. With much trepidation, I finally...allow.
Mom’s Apple Pie By Kathy Bond Angie’s oncologist, Dr. Hosford, called us in late January 2009 from our daughter’s Union Hospital room in Elkton, Maryland. She wanted to send her home soon. “Angie needs someone 24/7. The cancer spread to her bones. She could fall.” We flew east and eventually our luggage caught up with us. The first month of our three months there we stayed at the Ramada, a mile from Angie’s apartment. I spent part of that time in her small galley kitchen at the living room’s end.
I baked pies and rice puddings for her. She’d lost weight in the hospital. Angie, a slender “foodie,” liked to cook. It relaxed her after a Sitting in the stillness, I slowly unclench my hard day. She seemed more like my mother Tangled thoughtsgradually unravel; hands,Ibreathe in,I relax relaxmy jaw. the fraying ends spray shards of light. who taught Domestic Science and had a I gently let go...and let God. Light and lightness begin to dawn, cooking certificate. My mother and father opening the way...opening the way to Truth. met in a canteen in war-time England. The cooking gene seemed to have skipped me, but I felt glad to do it for our older daughter. She reminded me to add raisins to dishes. And when I made tuna salad, I added the “little green things”—diced celery—and she seemed touched by this.
Photo by Matthias Engel
“Do we carry Tahini?” Proud of our efforts, we described our culinary adventures to Dr. Hosford. “I’m impressed. I always buy it at the store.” I bought Food Lion’s frozen pastry circles in plastic bags. Angie didn’t bring a rolling pin or pastry blender when she moved into her apartment, so I resorted to using a wine bottle when I needed to re-roll. I did peel and slice the apples though. And I did remember Fannie Farmer’s Rice Pudding recipe. Good thing it only requires five ingredients. We served the pudding to Hospice’s Bereavement Counselor and apple pie to their Financial Planner. We made cinnamon sugar cookies from some of the pastry for Angie’s daughter, Christina. What I used to do with our children, she’d passed on to hers. It made a sweet legacy.
The women’s group from our old parish traveled to Maryland twice and took us out to lunch both times. The conversation and laughter of old friends flowed. Other friends from the schools where Angie had worked took us out. Over lunch I met some of her new friends—soccer moms and library We grocery shopped at nearby Food Lion workers. and yes, even Walmart. With her leg brace we used the handicapped spaces. We bought Angie ate huge helpings of vanilla ice cream hummus and learned to make this Middle with her apple pie and rice pudding. She Eastern dish from scratch, using cobbled- only lived for three months in Hospice together recipes. Angie dug out her Bond 2 care—February, March, and April. It Cuisinart™ food processor from the closet, felt like a gift to have this time with her. and we combined garlic, olive oil, garbanzo And I hope Mom’s home cooking made a beans and lemon. I don’t think I’ll ever difference and improved the quality of her forget a Walmart assistant manager asking: final days.
18 Local Perspectives
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Drum Circle Magic
Part 11 : Circle of the Goddess
By Francesca Bolognini Welcome back to the circle. This time I would like to explore an ancient technology that is currently experiencing a resurgence: the frame drum. I refer to technology because these drums were tools for many functions in the ancient world. They are wide hoops of wood, with relatively narrow rims, stretched tight with hide, or now also synthetics, played with either a mallet or the hands, and were once played primarily by women. Through entrainment, brain waves instantly alter by its activation, creating a versatile, highly efficient method of shifting human energies. Women, made ever conscious of our link to rhythms of the moon and tides by the ebb and flow within our bodies, were the first time keepers, then, by extension, rhythmists. Primal rhythmic sense eventually grew into vast knowledge of frequencies affecting states of consciousness and resultant changes to the physical body. Powerfully resonant, highly portable, and capable of infinite varieties of emotional and rhythmic expression, frame drums touched all of human existence in the ancient world, accompanying rites of passage, celebrations, oracular visions, healings, and enlightenment. Though objects as ephemeral as frame drums leaves little trace in the deep prehistoric record, we have evidence of their existence going back nearly 8,000 years. But chances are, they are much, much older. Some historians believe that rhythmic interaction, such as drumming together, helped propel human evolution. This makes the fact that many are now uncomfortable with the idea of attempting to keep time all the more telling of damage done by millennia of negative social conditioning. Such reprogramming was
The Power of Suggestion Boxes By Adele Sommers If you have a suggestion box for your business, how sincerely do you consider the recommendations and ideas you receive? If you haven’t yet tapped this invaluable resource, I encourage you to create a suggestion repository and actively seek to fill it. Below are tips for collecting and using the input you receive to greatly strengthen your business and bring in more revenue.
Tip #1: Consider polling your customers using Web, mail, e-mail, or phone surveys. You might ask what they love and don’t love undertaken by invading patriarchal hier- about your products and services, and how archies, branding us and our practices as they might suggest improving them. evil, in an ongoing effort to disempower the female elements of their societies. Our Tip #2: Consider expanding routine potent tool was then shifted into an effective customer support calls by asking custommotivator for organized aggression, leading ers: “Is there anything you can think of that to countless imbalances, including social, could enable our products or services to mental and physical disease and environ- better assist you?” mental destruction. Tip #3: Once you have a suggestion box, We had previously evolved in an environ- phone survey data, or technical support ment of full rhythmic emersion, cycles of logs that record customer feedback, comb the day and night, moon and tides, seasons through them to identify suggestions of and planetary movements providing natural every type. What’s been bugging your cuscalendars, all beginning with our mother’s tomers or stopping them from getting heart beat, the pulse of her blood forming things done? Are they recommending our bodies in her womb. For many thou- improvements in any area? See which kinds sands of years, societies, living in relatively of trends you can spot. peaceful coexistence, honored the feminine principles of nurturance, respect for life For example, are people having trouble purand for Mother Earth. Culture developed: chasing, using, or installing something, or medicine, weaving, art, pottery, navigation, wrestling with just getting started? Are they ritual, language and music. From the most reporting bugs or service problems? Are the ancient shamanic societies to the relatively instructions incomplete or confusing? Are modern remnants of the Great Goddess customers asking about features that you and Her many aspects, the musical sound don’t yet support? Look for the following track of this evolving world featured frame possibilities: drums. Today women worldwide are consciously choosing to reinstate sacred uses of the frame drum, rediscovering this feminine component of rhythmic expression, healing and consciousness altering technology. Most importantly, we are reclaiming the By Justin Anderson communal nature of this wonderful instrument. Easy to learn, with practice, and fun A light in your eyes but a heart that’s to play, frame drumming is again gaining starting to rot. popularity. I say to myself, “Should I or should I not?” Questions or comments? Reach me at But God gave me the message and I’m here circlegoddess@gmail.com. Until next time, to care for you! So I break you out of that keep the beat! desolate place.
1. Immediate but basic problems that you can remedy right away. 2. Major malfunctions occurring that should be documented and fixed. 3. Gaps in the internal hand-offs for converting prospects into customers. 4. Customers or prospects needing something that you don’t offer, which could ignite ideas for new offerings, accessories, or add-ons. Your customers deserve no less than the very best of experiences with every facet of your offerings. Revealing and remedying annoying hassles can stem the exodus of any cranky customers and help you begin building a base of “raving fans.” And as companies as popular as Starbucks have demonstrated, requesting and carefully listening to creative ideas can spark a new romance with your audience base. In conclusion, customers may find it very refreshing to finally reveal their pet peeves or suggestions. Imagine how thrilled they will be to finally be heard and taken seriously! And they might be telling you exactly what you need to know to spin off your very next product campaign.
Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business performance consultant who helps entrepreneurs align their life passions with their business purpose. She also guides organizations through “tactical tune-ups” and “strategic makeovers” in individual or group sessions. Contact her today for a free initial consultation at Adele@ LearnShareProsper.com, or 805-462-2199.
“Wonder Woman”
Every second and minute it seems your eyes are getting brighter. I watch you smile as you see the blue ocean water. God is lifting Satan’s curse. After all, now I love you as much as my mom or daughter... your soul is starving for good, and well He knows that I would have fully understood. I love you and good luck. You make me wonder... woman!
Voices 19
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Do you think the institution of marriage is outdated? Heather Mendel As we evolve in consciousness, sacred partnership becomes a deeper, richer, and more appropriate form of union than a traditional marriage ever could be. This is an egalitarian commitment between two adults (irrespective of gender, ethnicity, or religious background) who recognize the potential for soul growth in the ongoing relationship with the person in whom their soul delights. As our society sheds its hierarchical shackels, like the phoenix, a new possibility arises from the ashes of worn-out structures that no longer serve the evolving human family. Just as in Europe and other western countries, marriage is a civil recognition of a couple’s choice to live their lives together, sacred partnership can require a civil recognition of a newly formed sacred partnership that can be blessed by the officiate of any religious tradition if the couple so chooses. Freed of the traditional roles ascribed to ‘husband’ or ‘wife,’ a sacred partnership becomes an opportunity for each to become all that they were meant to be, individually and as a couple. As a calligraphic artist who designs wedding vows for couples, over the years I have seen the changes in the texts chosen, and how they have transformed from the hierarchical and sexist documents of the past to sacred partnership commitments, one of which I include for our readers: “With these rings, we consecrate ourselves to one another, now and forever, promising to be open to one another as we cherish each other’s uniqueness, together celebrating life’s joys and successes, and comforting and supporting one another through life’s challenges and sorrows. With mutual respect, we promises to share our intuition and insights, our thoughts and feelings, empowering and encouraging one another, to reach full potential in all we undertake, as we blossom into the beauty of whom we are yet to be. In appreciation of the great gift of Life, we will honor its sanctity as we celebrate its diversity, working together to make the world better by the way we live our lives, individ-
ually and as a couple. For ourselves and the children which whom we may be blessed, we will create a home filled with laughter and light, a reverence for learning and above all, with love. Our home will be a haven of peace for all who enter it, one in which we will celebrate the cyclical flow of the seasons and the significant milestones in our lives as we create a future dedicated to peace, hope and respect for all people.”
a marriage contract protects her interests: when her children are young and when she, herself, is old. Marriage provides security. It did in my grandmother’s time, it will in my granddaughter’s. But the zing is still the best part.
Anne Schroeder After forty-two years of marriage, my husband and I have maintained the passion and zing that we hoped for when we said, “I do!” at nineteen. Now I’m reaping the benefits of contractual commitment, as well. I’m tenured, as they say. I love that about marriage--the part where what is his is yours, and vice versa. When it works, it works well. There are two times in a woman’s life when
Coming from a dysfunctional, alcoholic family where I kept house for my father, I didn’t want marriage. In Grandmother’s day, marriage meant giving up your job. In our generation, you worked until the first baby came. Then, Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique offered other options.
Church views it as a sacrament. I view it as a gift, a creation. You build a life. I think to do so requires self-knowledge, awareness, and the ability to laugh at yourself.
We created a family and weathered good times and bad. With our daughter’s death, I tried to show her children the strength Angie King of family—the love, help, and support it Boy, is that a loaded question! The biblical meant in the nurturing of siblings, aunts, man-woman-cling-together-forever part has uncles, and grandparents. Her uncle serves I would suggest that for any couple living been outmoded ever since Adam and Eve as executor for her mother, and friends and relatives send cards and gifts, and call her. in this way now, their marriage is a sacred split up. partnership. For anyone considering committing themselves to another in any form But humans do seem to have an innate Finally, it comes back to the two of you and of recognized union, civil or religious, do need to bond with other humans. I think the sharing of joy and sorrow, laughter and these words differ from your version of what humans, and maybe women more than tears, trips and conversations. It means not marriage could be? If so,why? The choice is men, want a “community;” whether it’s a coming home to an empty house, not having man, another woman, or a clan or tribe or to explain a reference or a joke, not going yours. commune, we do gather in groups for our through an illness or death alone. So, I don’t mutual betterment. Isn’t that all a marriage think marriage an outdated institution, but Dorothy Segovia is supposed to be? rather, an option for companionship on the Since so many citizens are still being journey of life. prevented from the privilege of a legal ceremony - of course the subject is a politi- Kathy Bond cal hot potato. Approaching the half-century marker of our Jen Mowad marriage, or 50 years/golden wedding anni- In a time when everything is fast, convePersonally, as long as both parties are clear versary, causes me to reflect. Archaic or nient, and temporary, I think the bond and and talk about their hopes, beliefs, and fears dinosaur? I know that my announcement institution of marriage is critical for remindand the notion of “plenty of room to grow” - of 40 plus years of matrimony at a N.O.W. ing people that not everything is meant to then marriage can work. I stopped doing the conference elicited gasps. be easy. Marriage is meant to be a covenant ‘live-in’ thing years ago. And even if I am and an agreement to work through hard and divorced: I still believe in the commitment Historically, we didn’t live long and easy with one person and to make a meanand the honoring of...(see plenty of room to marriage came about for a women’s protec- ingful relationship with that one person. It grow.) tion, transferred to a husband, after fathers requires commitment and energy and comand brothers. In my era—pre-1960’s Sexual passion; values that are fast disappearing in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Committed is an Revolution, we didn’t have many options— our race to be faster, better, and wealthier. excellent read on the subject as well as convent, household, or old maid, if you I don’t believe marriage suits all people, but The Feminine Face of God by Sherry Ruth insisted on teaching, nursing, or library I think our society is better off with people Anderson and Patricia Hopkins. work. Unmarried at 25 meant “on the shelf:” seeking and working towards long, lasting nobody wanted you. relationships.
Next month our Voices around the Table question is: How do you give back to your community?
Please send responses to “Marriage is not to be entered into lightly, womenspressslo@gmail.com
unadvisedly, but reverently.” The Episcopal
20 NOW News
Women’s Press September & October 2010
Coordinator’s Corner By Angie King Every year in August, NOW celebrates Women’s Equality Day, in keeping with our mission to bring women into the mainstream of American society. After all, August 26th marks the day the 36th state legislature ratified the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution, making it official: all women have the right to vote. And voting is one of the most important ways women can achieve equal rights under the law – by voting into office people who have made public their support for equality for women. This November is no exception, so educate yourselves about the issues and demand answers to your questions from the candidates. In keeping with our traditional celebration, this year NOW had a table at Farmer’s Market on Thursday, August 26, to help educate the public about women’s struggle for the vote and our continuing struggle for equality. We haven’t been at Farmer’s Market for a while, since the Downtown Association raised the price of a booth and made any one wanting a booth submit an application and get approval, but we thought this topic was important enough to jump through their hoops. It was nice to be
“back on the street” again, and we had lots of interested people stopping by. It seems 2010 has been a year of elections, somewhat akin to the year Lois Capps had to run 4 elections in a year. Only this time, it’s to replace different aspiring GOP stars at the state level. Let’s hope this fall we can elect people who will stay in office for their term! Our next activity will be the Morro Bay Harbor Fest, on October 2 and 3. Please call me (544-4331) if you can volunteer for a shift that weekend. It’s always lots of fun; you get into the festival free with your volunteer T-shirt, and there’s lots of good music and food. The festival supports the fishing industry, and by volunteering we earn operating money for our activities. Please help! You may notice that we are now publishing only a one-page newsletter. The costs of publishing and distributing the Women’s Press has increased, but our finances have not kept pace. But since we do want to keep getting the news out to our local chapter and friends, we will continue to bring you the NOW News in the Women’s Press.
NOW News Cuesta College Tennis Team Title IX violations: The investigation is still on-going, the Trustees are not discussing it at their monthly board meetings, and we’re still waiting to see what Cuesta will do about axing the women’s tennis team last spring. Ratify Women: Thirty years after the passage of the Convention on Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW), the United States has still not ratified this international treaty, making it the only industrialized nation not a party to it. NOW’s Global Feminist Strategies and Issues Committee asks all feminists to sign an on-line petition to ask President Obama to place ratification of CEDAW before the Senate. Go to www. ratifywomen.org. Until the US is officially a signatory, we can hardly ask other countries to live up to their obligations under the
Who’s Watching the Kids?
treaty or claim to be a leader in the fight for human rights. See more about CEDAW on these pages, or visit now.org. Successful National Convention: On July 4, the National Organization for Women concluded its 2010 National Conference in Boston, Mass., with a display of feminist solidarity and determination that reflected the true spirit of Independence Day. NOW members cast impassioned votes on a wide range of issues affecting women, charting a course for action that includes urging Congress and the IRS to rein in the aggressive and unconstitutional lobbying of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, an aggressive campaign to restore coverage of abortion care in the new health reform law by repealing the Hyde Amendment and calling for an immediate suspension of dismissals under the discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.
By Angie King, taken liberally from Ms. Magazine, summer 2010
ation syndrome, or “PAS,” is now itself a discredited psychological theory, forms of it still appear. At least 32 states require courts to consider which parent is willing to facilitate a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent. No mother who has been abused, or worse whose child has been abused by the father, would want to continue a relationship with that abuser. Thus, she is at risk for losing custody.
As it turns out, the answer to that question is, in an alarmingly high percentage of cases, the parent who has abused them or the other parent. In divorce cases, the court is supposed to award custody of the minor children to one or both parents and mete out visitation schedules, in a way that, theoretically at least, is in the best interests of the child. About half the states are also supposed to weigh domestic violence as a factor in deterSo, whose best interests are really being mining custody, but how much weight is met? According to a study of 100,000 con- given depends largely on the judge’s discretested divorce cases nationwide reported in tion, as well as his or her experience with the Summer 2010 Ms Magazine, custody was domestic violence. awarded to fathers who had, or were alleged to have, committed domestic violence, October is national sexual assault awareness about 1/3 of the time. month. Child and parental abuse is part and parcel of sexual assault. The National Abusive parents often escalate their abuse Council of Juvenile and Family Court as divorce looms, in an effort to make the Judges and the American Bar Association, partner flee, leaving the children with him. both recommend that custody be withheld Then he has a claim to a close and continu- from anyone with a history of domestic ing relationship with the children when he violence. goes to court. NOW is on record in supporting laws which If the abused parent complains to the require judges to take into consideration all child about the behavior of her father that allegations of domestic violence in awarding becomes parental alienation, i.e. deliber- custody. For more information on domestic ately trying to discredit the abusing parent violence and child custody, visit now.org in the child’s eyes. While parental alien- and www.msmagazine.com.
NOW News 21
Women’s Press September & October 2010 Page 20 Presented by the
National Organization for Women
The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !
NOW Chapter # CA 565 PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406 SLONOW @ kcbx.net http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow
General Meetings GALA office, now located at 1060 Palm St., SLO Third Tuesday of every month at 6 pm.
3rd Tuesday of every month at 6:00 pm slonow@kcbx.net
NOW Goals • Support reproductive choice • Work to eliminate ALL violence against women • Fight against sexual harassment • Encourage tolerance and diversity • Promote feminist issues • Commemorate Roe v Wade (Jan 22) • Celebrate Women’s Equality Day (Aug 26) • Participate in Farmer’s Market • Support feminist politics
Get Involved — Join NOW! San Luis Obispo Chapter #565 National Organization for Women Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW, just the 142 million who are discriminated against!
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• NORTH COUNTY: Atascadero – The Coffee House and Deli, Starbuck’s at Von’s Plaza, Green Goods, Player’s Pizza, Harvest Health Food Store, North County Connection, Senior Center, Women’s Resource Center/Shelter Office, Curves. Paso Robles – Cuesta College North Campus, Café Vio, Curves, DK Donuts, Panolivo French Cafe, NCI Village Thrift Shop, Paso Robles Health Foods; Templeton – Twin Cities Hospital, Templeton Market & Deli, Affinity Chiropractic, Kinship Center, Jobella’s Coffee; Santa Margarita– Santa Margarita Mercantile. • NORTHERN COAST: Baywood – Coffee & Things; Cambria – Cambria Connection, Cambria Pines Lodge, Chamber of Commerce, Gym One, Azevedo Chiropractic, Lilly’s, Alloco’s, Cambria Drug and Gift, Bob & Jan’s Bottle Shop, Linn’s, Donna’s Nail Salon, Cookie Crock, Rainbow Bean and Coffee Shop; Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s EsPresso & Dessert, Ocean Front Pizza, Chevron Station, Mobile Balloons; Los Osos – Starbuck’s, Baywood Laundry, Cad’s, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los Osos Deli Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon, Coalesce Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders, Sunshine Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee, La Parisienne Bakery. • SAN LUIS OBISPO: Broad St. Laundry, Cool Cats Café, La Crepes, Edna Market, Booboo Records, Creekside Center, GALA, Marigold Nails, Palm Theatre, Susan Polk Insurance, Utopia Bakery, Unity Church, Zoe Wells, Naturopath, Cal Poly Library and Women’s Center, Center for Alternatives to Violence, Chamber of Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services Clinic, HealthWorks, Healing Alternatives, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Monterey Express, Natural Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken Beverage Bistro, Phoenix Books, Planned Parenthood, West End Espresso & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing Authority Office, SARP, The Secret Garden, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds Therapy, The Studio Fitness for Women, Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair Salon, Hempshak, YMCA, KCBX, Salon on Monterey, Jaffa Café, Med Stop (Madonna Plaza), World Rhythm and Motion, Steynberg Gallery, Correa Chiropractic, High St. Deli, Sunset N. Car Wash, Jamaica You, United Blood Services. • SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Mongo’s, Act II Boutique, Central Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Curves-AG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services Clinic, Girls Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Chameleon; Avila Beach– Avila Grocery, Custom House, Sycamore Hot Springs, Inn at Avila, Joe Mamma’s; Grover Beach – Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 30-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon Store; Nipomo – Anna’s Creekside Coffee House, Healing Touch Spa, Curves, La Placita Market, Healthy Inspirations, World Gym, Trendy Sister Salon, Senior Centers; Pismo Beach – Honeymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club, RETurn to JOY!; Shell Beach – De Palo & Sons Deli, Seaside Cafe, Steaming Bean. • SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Curves on Main and on Broadway, Lassen’s. • ORCUTT: Loading Dock, Oasis Spa.
22 Resources
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Bulletins Meditate for Humanity in Santa Margarita SANTA MARGARITA, CA (August 10, 2010)—Wendy McKenna, Holistic Healer and Founder of Global Alliance for Balance and Healing will channel a Humanity Meditation on Thursday September 23 at 6:00pm at the Global Alliance Center of Light and Learning, 22720 El Camino Real, Suite C, in Santa Margarita.
service of energy balancing free of charge to humanity worldwide. This service is provided through mobilized healing teams and from healing centers. The Humanity Meditation is free but donations to Global Alliance are gratefully accepted.
Visit www.globalalliance.ws or call 805-4384347 for more information about Global Global Alliance for Balance and Healing is Alliance for Balance and Healing. a nonprofit organization that provides the
A Friendly Reminder from the staff of the Women’s Press Please patron the fine establishments that are advertised in this paper. They really are quite good at what they do.
Thanks!
ABUSE Adults Molested as Children Support Group (AMAC) Rape Survivors Support Group, SLO
Compulsive Eaters Anonymous, H.O.W. Concept
Support Group for Sexual Assault Survivors
Drug & Alcohol Services
545.8888
Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence
781.6406
North Count y Women’s Shelter & Resource Center, (inc. domestic violence support groups)
461.1338
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & Prevention)
545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673) Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
781.64 | w w w.womensshelterslo.org
ADDICTIONS AA Meeting
541.3211
546.1178 | w w w.ceahow.org 781.4275
Narcotics Anonymous
549.7730 & 800.549.7730 Overeaters Anonymous
541.3164
SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance Addictions)
461.6084
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)
929.1789 | w w w.tops.org Women for Sobriet y
215.536.8026 | www.womenforsobriety.org
CHILDREN & FAMILIES Birth and Baby Resource Center
546.3755 | w w w.bbrn.org
Childcare Resource Connection
La Leche League
Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center
Migrant Childcare Program
Alzheimer’s Association
MOMS Club of South SLO count y
CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics Learning to Live
489.9128
544.4355 | 466.3444
473.2548 | w w w.southslomomsclub.org Partnership for Children
541.8666; ask for Beth
Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Children)
460.9016
Social Services
781.1600
Support for Kids Coping with Domestic Violence
800.443.1236 547.3830
543.3764
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)
542.0577 ( SLO), 927.1654 (Cambria), 466.8600 (North County) Communit y Counseling Center
543.7969
Creative Mediation
549.0442
473.6507
Dealing With Divorce
EMERGENCY/CRISIS
Depresson and Bipolar Support Alliance Group
Hotline
w w w.slohotline.org 800.549.8989 Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP)
545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673)
544.9313
927.3703
Eating Disorders Support Group
546 -3774; free- meets week ly in SLO Grief Drop-In Support Groups
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)
541.2272 | 800.727.2272
Al-Anon
Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) “A child’s voice in Court in SLO County”
Cambria Connection (12 step support)
Children’s Services Network
781.1847
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
473.6507
Casa Solana Women’s Recovery Home
First 5: Children & Families Commission
A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment Problems Today)
Transformations Counseling Center
541.7908; Free monthly workshops
781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs
543.0388
Chemical Dependency intensive outpatient program
Homeschooling in SLO Count y (HSC)
Adult Day Center (activit y program for adults with Alzheimer’s Disease)
FINANCE/BUSINESS
498.2176
534.9204 927.1654 481.8555 541- 9113
541.6542
462.0726; ask for Barbara La Clinica De Tolosa
238.5334
Temporary Restraining Order & Victim Witness Program
781.5821
544.2266, multiple meetings avail. Project Lifesaver
548.0909 | www.projectlifesaverofslo.org Safe and Sober Support Group
690 Petersen Ranch Road, Templeton, CA 93446 | (805)434-2081
Consumer Credit Counseling Services
800.540.2227
Resources 23
Women’s Press September & October 2010 GAY & LESBIAN Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast
541.4252
MEDICAL SUPPORT/ SERVICES ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s Disease)
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays 227.4785 | 674.4162 438.3889 Alzheimer’s Support 547.3830 ( SLO) | 534.9234 (Los Osos) SOL (Single Older Lesbians) 888.488.6555 474.9405; Mostly socializing! American Cancer Societ y
HOSPICE
543.1481 | 238.9657 ( SLO) 434.3051 (Templeton)
Hospice of SLO Count y, AIDS Bereavement Group
Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support Group
Hospice Partners of the Central Coast
Arthritis Foundation
544.2266 | 434.1164
541.9113
POLITICAL Code Pink
w w w.codepinkslo.org; ososousaville@charter.net Commission on Status of Women
788.3406 | w w w.slowomen.org Democratic Women United
541.4252
League of Women Voters
w w w.kcbx.net/~slonow/slonow@kcbx.net
Caregivers of Aging Parents
Creative Writing Group
Cal Poly Foundation
Celiac Disease Support Group
Nightwriters
Endometriosis Association
Sisters in Crime
Jobline 756.7107 www.calpolyfoundation.org Cal Poly Universit y
756.1533 | http://calpolyjobs.org Cuesta College
Jobline 546.3127 http://w w w.cuesta.edu The Creekside Career Center
788.2600 | 237.3014 w w w.slocareers.org
Department of Rehabilitation
549.3361
226.9893
w w w.endometriosisassn.org
Enhancement, Inc. (for breast cancer survivors)
781-3993
Housing Authorit y
543.4478
AARP
543.7969
995-1599
Homeless Shelter
Adult Literacy
788.2643
Self-Realization Fellowship Sunday Services
NOW (National Organization for Women)
Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups
543.1481 ext. 3 for information
New Beginnings Church Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
READERS/ WRITERS
JOBS/CAREERS
546.8672
543.2220
892.5556
782.8608
Hungry Hearts Spiritual Communit y RC liturgy with womanpriest
541-4219
748 -2676; contact Gloria
549.9656; contact Shirley Powell http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com
771.8640 | w w w.enhancementinc.com
SENIORS
EOC Health Services Clinics no or low cost reproductive health services
Adult Day Care
Healthworks of the Central Coast No or low cost reproductive health services
Adult Protective Services
489.8894 (A rroyo Grande); 434.2081 (Templeton); 544.2478 (SLO) | 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande) 927.4290 (Cambria) 781.1790
North Count y Women’s Resource Center, Shelter
461.1338
Prado Day Center (for the homeless)
786.0617 | w w w.pradodaycenter.org Women’s Communit y Center, SLO 544.9313 Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
781.6400; 24 hour crisis line w w w.womensshelterslo.org
OTHER WOMEN’S ORGANIZATIONS Altrusa International, Inc.
481.1039; Cici Wynn, President American Association of Universit y Women
781- 0922 | Karen w w w.aauw.org
542.0900
Caring Callers
547.7025 ext. 17
Camping Women
Hearst Cancer Resource Center
542.6234
Computerooters: Computer help:
Hadassah.SLO
788.2601 | w w w.jobhunt.org
IC Interstitial Cystitis/Painful Bladder Syndrome
Department of Social Services: In-Home Support
LEGAL
Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of SLO Count y
Nursing help for the terminally ill
Lymphedema Education & Support Group
Elder and Dependent Adult Advocacy and Outreach – Victim Witness Assistance Center
Mission Communit y Services Corporation Women’s Business Partners
595.1357 | w w w.mcscorp.org
Private Industry Council (PIC)
California Rural Legal Assistance
544.7994
Core Mediation Services
544.6334 | medeee8@aol.com Creative Mediation
549.0442
District At torney’s Office – Victim Witness Center
781.5821
Family Law Facilitator
788.3418 Lawline
788.2099 Law yer Referral and Information Service
464- 0564; 3rd Thursday, SLO, 7 - 9 pm 785.0132
782- 9300; 2nd Monday, 4-5 pm Parkinson’s Support Groups
466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton) 481.7424 (A rroyo Grande) 541.8633 ( SLO) Planned Parenthood
549.9446 ( SLO) 471.8102 ( SLO)
Caregivers of Stroke Survivors
544.2266 ( SLO)
541.5502
Pro Per Divorce Workshop
Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)
Senior Legal Services
543.5140
781.1790
781.5540
781-5821
Foster Grandparents.Senior Companions
543.9452
OTHER GROUPS & GATHERINGS Central Coast Peace and Environmental Council
544.3399 | 783.2383
Uplif t Group Singing and Support
Sunday @ 6pm, at the Senior Center 1455 Santa Rosa.
782.9200
Senior Peer Counseling Free, trained in.home counseling for 60+
547.7025 ext. 15
Stroke Support Group
The Wellness Community - Cancer Support
544.9313
489.6230
440.2723 | w w w.camping women.org
238.4411 534.1101
Women’s Healthcare Specialists
544.4883
SPIRITUAL Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Communit y Meditation, Sunday Services, Classes.
772- 0306;Open to all. awakeninginterfaith.org
Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment
541.1963 | w w w.spiritualcircle.org
Please send additions, corrections or deletions to:
womenspress.slo@gmail.com
or leave a message at the WCC:
805.544.9313.
Last update 9/7/10.
Women’s Community Center PO Box 15639 San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 805 544-9313
325
Clare Lowery L.Ac. Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine Licensed for 20 Years Shirodhara oil treatment 805-541-6772 ClareLowery.com