ALOOKBACK
If I Could Have ‘Do Overs’
suddenly experienced loss all over again. The pain that ripped my heart open at his death suddenly returned with a vengeance. The grief wails that I never voiced for fear of upsetting my children now poured from my soul and my lips. I By Louise Tucker Jones was plunged into new mourning, not just from losing Carl’s ring, but from missing Last month, I lost my late husband’s my husband of 45 years. wedding band. A ring he had worn since In the years since Carl’s death, I have the day I placed it on his finger in a little thought of hundreds of things I might Army chapel 54 years ago. He was being do differently if I could have ‘Do Overs.’ I deployed overseas for a year and half would always kiss him goodbye, even for and we were determined to get married grocery shopping. I would tell him how before he left. much I respected him and thank him for The ring symbolized both our marriage fixing all sorts of things and for keeping and our “forever love” for each other. It gas in my car. never came off his finger until a tragic I would cuddle more on the sofa, in Sunday morning in ICU when Carl took spite of our kids teasing, and cherish his last breath on earth and his first in each whispered sentiment. I would heaven. It was then that I slipped his write more love notes, sing more songs, wedding ring from his finger onto mine and dance more to our Golden Oldies. and have worn it these nine years without I would remind him what a wonderful him. father he was to our children and how I have no idea when his ring slipped glad I was that God chose him for my from my index finger. All I know is that I husband.
28
l
EDMONDOUTLOOK.COM
l
SEPTEMBER 2020
You see, I actually did all these things, but if I had ‘Do Overs,’ I would do them more often with more gratitude and joy in just being together. And if it were possible, I would love even deeper, hug harder, kiss longer and hold the memory of his laughter in my heart forever.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Louise Tucker Jones is an award-winning author, inspirational speaker & founder of Wives With Heavenly Husbands, a support group for widows. LouiseTJ@cox.net or LouiseTuckerJones.com.
