11 minute read
Education Choices Magazine Summer 2021
Suzanne discusses how she has supported her son (a twin) with his additional learning needs both inside and outside school. She offers sensitive, insightful suggestions and advice for other parents in a similar position…
Can you tell me a bit about your child and his additional needs for some context for the reader?
My son is 16 now and he is a twin and it’s more common for twins to have some kind of learning need compared to singletons. He reached his milestones late, there were some red flags for me, so I had him checked out. There were all sorts of little things really. He had what was called Global Developmental Delay (GDD) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). He was hypermobile and needed special inserts in his shoes. He also suffered from glue ear, which affected his hearing, [which] coupled with the auditory element of his Sensory Processing Disorder meant he found it very difficult to listen and learn in school, particularly processing complex instruction was difficult for him. There are some working memory issues as well and slow processing.
What has it been like to be a mother of a child with additional learning needs?
It’s been a real challenge over the years actually, and also a huge pleasure to see him respond to the various therapies and interventions that he has had. I have had to be very choosy about his educational setting and he has moved schools a number of times. That has been a real challenge. I have had to be very aware and very on the case whether a school is meeting his needs or not. So, for example, after the Reception year it became very clear that that school could no longer meet his needs, so then he moved. His subsequent school he was at for five years and that worked really well up to a point and then suddenly the other children were working and learning at a much faster pace, so again he needed moving. I think that has been one of the greatest
challenges and I have spent a lot of time when he was younger taking him to various therapies and interventions, which I am very happy I did because he is now functioning really well and I think that is down to the fact that he had numerous early interventions.
Was it difficult coming to terms with this as a parent?
It has been difficult, yes. I remember when he was very, very small saying to a consultant (who was seeing me on a regular basis as a mother of twins) looking at both of them I said, “When will he catch up?” and the consultant told me it was around the age of six. Now he is sixteen and I don’t feel as if he has completely caught up yet. Managing your expectations as a parent is quite a challenge. I feel now that he is exactly as he is and the path we have trodden has led us to some really interesting places and I have met some fabulous people that I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for his challenges.
What was the trickiest point to manage as a parent? Was it 11+ exams, when he was a young child or as he looks towards taking his GCSEs?
I think the trickiest point initially was getting the right diagnosis and the right interventions early on. His particular range of difficulties did not fit a particular bracket that was easily identified, so he wasn’t dyslexic or dyspraxic and he didn’t have ADHD or ASD. I was fortunate to find an occupational therapist who identified sensory processing disorder which can often be misdiagnosed as ADHD. That was a tricky time actually, finding the right diagnosis for him and living my life for a few years managing his interventions as well as taking care of my other two children, so I would say that was the trickiest point.
How do you try to support him in his school work from home?
One of his main challenges is to motivate himself
to do his best, so what I do from time to time is go through his Google classroom with him and check that everything is up to date. He is much better now at doing his homework thoroughly and on time than he used to be. That used to be a real challenge! The way I support him is not by sitting next to him helping him with it, it’s by encouraging him to be as independent a learner as possible and if he is not meeting the expectations of the school, to have a conversation with the school about how they can support him more.
What benefits did you see from attending speech and occupational therapy?
There were huge benefits from both and I’m so very pleased that I started him off with these therapies very early. Speech therapy was essential for him - he had difficulty with his sounds when he was small and we did lots of work with a mirror showing him how to form the shapes with his mouth to make the letters. Occupational therapy was a game changer because there are particular exercises that can be done with occupational therapy that can help to alleviate the difficulties that sensory processing disorder brings. So, my boy loves movement - he is what is known as a sensory seeker - and so occupational therapy consisted of a great deal of movement that helped him to regulate his sensory system, particularly his vestibular and proprioceptive senses.
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Was it beneficial to get an Educational Psychology assessment? What was the process like and how did it affect you?
It wasn’t as beneficial as I thought it would be actually. He had his first EP assessment at his second Prep school when he was in Year 6 and to be honest it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. I did at one point what was then called a ‘statement’ and is now called an EHCP and for various reasons that didn’t go through. I think because I had a lot of information already before the assessment it wasn’t as useful as it might have been, but I think in most cases in my experience as a teacher it is hugely beneficial to get an EP assessment - as long as it is from an EP who has been well recommended.
Is there anything you wish more conventional schools would have on offer to support children with additional needs?
In my experience, all schools are different in the learning support that they offer. Mainstream schools will all have a learning support department, but these range hugely in size, quality and what kind of provision is offered. I think the most important thing is that the learning support coordinator is able “Don’t be afraid to open up to people at the school gate about what’s happening with your child, there may be somebody there that says, “Me too!”
to really listen to what the parent and the child are communicating about, what the child’s needs are and keep communicating with the parent about how the child is doing. Good communication is key. Equally, I think honesty is very important. If a mainstream school really feels that they don’t have the resources to support the child in the way the child needs then honest communication is necessary and perhaps a change in educational setting and a willingness to always put the child’s needs first.
Have you found that apprenticeships, IB and more practical Sixth Form options are likely to work better than A Levels?
My son is in Year 10 at the moment, so I don’t have experience of him at Sixth Form yet, but I am considering Sixth Form options for him and I am very much looking at vocational qualifications. No two children with additional needs are the same so I can’t answer for anybody else’s child but mine, and in his case I think it is unlikely that he will take traditional A-Levels, and apprenticeship or BTEC will be his path. It’s important with a child with additional needs that you play to their strengths. A parent who really knows their child and can see what their strengths and passions are can then choose the right path going forward. I think the most important thing is that when the child leaves school they have good life skills and many children with additional needs really struggle with life tasks so as a parent that would be my priority - that he leaves school with life skills, that he knows how to write a CV, apply for jobs and manage his money.
Could you give some top tips to parents who are looking for schools that cater to additional learning needs?
I remember being very confused when looking for schools and finding it really very difficult to find the right kind of educational setting. As I said, even once I had found the right educational setting, because of the way my child and his peers evolved, it then became necessary to change. I suppose my top tip is just keep your eye on how your child is doing at
the particular school and don’t be afraid to ask for a meeting with the learning support coordinator or with the Head about how your child is doing and whether it is working. In terms of the school search, I engaged some help from an educational consultant (Chloe Abbott at CJA Educational Consultancy*) who gave me a shortlist of schools and I found that very helpful. Another thing I would suggest is really to follow your gut feeling. You need to meet the learning support coordinator, you need to meet the Head and think about whether these are people you could have good communication with. The homeschool relationship is even more important with a child with additional needs.
TOP TIP: Parents looking for schools need to ask about the pastoral care system. Find out how it is structured, how the PSHE curriculum is delivered and, on open days when you are going around, talk to the children as much as you talk and listen to the teacher. Any child, but particularly a child with additional needs, will not learn unless they feel happy and secure. they can’t hear you as well, perhaps they are having real difficulty picking up their letters at school, or perhaps they seem clumsier than their peers. Maybe after a day at school they are agitated or they are not calm and settled and happy. Very often children with additional learning needs will find everyday life that bit more taxing, so there may be more tiredness and more fractiousness. With Sensory Processing Disorder the red flags are things like: does the child dislike the tags in clothes or having their hair brushed or their nails clipped? That kind of thing can suggest a sensory issue. There are many things, but I think as a mother, sometimes you just know.
What would you tell parents who perhaps need some words of encouragement in these tricky times?
You are not alone in this. One in ten children have dyslexia and one in ten children have sensory processing issues. There are many of us out there. There are lots of groups you can join. My little boy is a twin so I joined the local twins club which was really supportive. Don’t be afraid to open up to people at the school gate about what’s happening with your child, there may be somebody there that says, “Me too!” There can be a feeling that you are alone in this and it’s actually not true at all. Get the support you need, [and] take really good care of yourself. A current saying is, “You can’t take care of somebody else if you don’t take care of yourself.” Seek advice if you need it; there are lots of fantastic professionals out there who can help you with all aspects of your child’s development.
Link to London Children’s Practice
There will be many parents out there wondering if their child needs extra support at school. What do you think is the first step in identifying if a child has additional learning needs?
I think the first step is if a very young child is late reaching their milestones that is always a red flag. It can resolve, but as a mother I would say gut feel is the most important thing - you might just feel that your child is struggling a bit with something. Perhaps
*Visit: CJA Educational Consultancy for further advice and support choosing schools
TURN BACK TO P19 for links to Headmasters interviews at two leading specialist schools
