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Magazine Issue 1 – June 2013
Countryside Pride A refreshing look into LGBT life in rural Ireland Lyons’ Gold Blend John Lyons TD on politics, coming out and unforgettable moments State of the Union Are LGBT rights in the US a bargaining tool?
Time for something else. Introducing EILE Magazine – the new all-Ireland LGBT magazine.
EILE Magazine | Who’s Who
Contributors Nick Bain
Nick is originally from Dublin, but has spent the last 14 years in London. Today, he is a fashion and menswear writer, and can be found at bainser.com
Jenny is a broadcast journalist from Dublin. Her documentary, ‘The Reality of Gay Parenting in Ireland’ was broadcast first on The Cosmo on RTÉ Pulse, before being broadcast in Los Angeles by LGBT programme, ‘This Way Out’.
Lewis Robert Cameron
Jenny Butler
Lewis studied at Queens University Belfast and the London College of Fashion. He is editor of Beyond Man, Northern Ireland’s first and only website dedicated to menswear.
Kaycee is based in Sligo and is currently Chairman of Northwest LGBT Pride, the LGBT festival for counties Donegal, Leitrim, Sligo and its environs.
Paul Corcoran
Paul is a blogger and writer originally from Cork, where he studied at UCC, and lives in Galway with his partner when the pair are not off couchsurfing.
Steve is a writer and gay rights advocate from Dundonald, County Down. He is founder of Belfast OutEast, an LGBT support group serving east Belfast, and is convenor of the Alliance Party’s LGBT committee.
Philip Dunne
Ciara Kenny
Frances Winston has been working in the media for around 15 years. She has worked in both print and broadcast media, as a writer and editor.
Anthony Zagariko is a graphic designer, based in picturesque Dundrum, County Down. He is currently working towards a degree in Design at the University of Ulster.
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David Gormley
Joseph is a recent graduate of NUI Maynooth. Specialising in addiction and with a passionate interest in gender and sexuality, Joseph has ten years of experience as an actor, comedian and journalist.
Ciara is an illustrator and artist based in County Kerry, with a degree in pharmacy and a very keen interest in equality, science and all things funny. More of her artwork can be found on facebook.com/CiaraKennyArt
Frances Winston
Stephen Donnan
Philip is an artist from Dublin, whose clients have included Guinness / Diageo, Sony Playstation, 3 Mobile and Barry’s Tea. He is a member of the Illustrators Guild of Ireland.
David works in marketing in Thurles, County Tipperary and studied at Dublin City University. He is a self-confessed politics geek and is keenly interested in LGBT movements, both at home and around the world.
Joseph Kearney
Kaycee Clifford
Anthony Zagariko
EILE Magazine | Welcome
Highlights June 2013 The Emigrant’s Letter The Irish are no strangers to emigration, but do they ever want to return to the motherland once they leave? Nick Bain writes a touching letter from his adopted home of London.
The Revised State of Marriage Equality David Gormley returns to Labour’s recent marriage equality bill for the Republic.
We Are Here! Are LGBT people in rural Ireland still seen as “the only gay in the village”? Kaycee Clifford manages to surprise a lot of people he meets, when he tells them that Sligo has its own Pride festival.
An Open Letter on Love Anthony Zagariko writes to opponents of equal marriage.
Volume 1, Issue 1 Editor-in-Chief: Scott De Buitléir Features Editor: MKB Writers: Nick Bain, Jenny Butler, MKB, Lewis Robert Cameron, Paul Corcoran, Kaycee Clifford, Stephen Donnan, David Gormley, Joseph Kearney, Frances Winston, Anthony Zagariko Illustrators: Philip Dunne, Ciara Kenny, Anthony Zagariko Photographers: Simon Crawford, Tom Walker Cover Model: Piaras Smyth for Crawford Photography – special thanks to Piaras for being the face of Eile Magazine’s Issue 01! Please Note: Any stock images used are obtained from various Public Domain image banks, such as Pixabay and Wikimedia. All copyright conditions have been fully adhered to. Special Thanks to MKB for all her hard work, dedication and support. Web: http://eile.ie
The Essential Ingredients John Lyons TD talks about coming out, politics and unforgettable moments.
Contact: eilemagazine@outlook.com Twitter: @EileMagazine Facebook: http://fb.com/eilemagazine
Note: All opinions expressed in this issue are the writers’ own.
EILE Magazine | Editor’s Letter
Contents 6/7 - World LGBT News 8/9 - We Are Here! 10 - Interview: John Lyons 14 -
Ancient Inspirations
18 - Couchsurfing 20 - The Emigrant’s Letter 22 - Gay Media 25 -
An Open Letter on Love
26 -
The Revised State of
Marriage Equality
29 -
DUP: Let’s Keep NI
Backward?
31 -
Dating For Girls
32 -
Review: Behind The
Candleabra
33 -
God, or Dancing?
And so, it begins. Scott De Buitléir
| Editor-in-Chief
2013 is a momentous year in Ireland’s history, both north and south of the border. Homosexuality was decriminalised in the Republic 20 years ago (30 in Northern Ireland) and numerous organisations are celebrating milestone anniversaries this year, such as Dublin Pride, GLEN, GCN and more. All these have allowed for an entire generation to live their lives without being considered criminals by the state, and that is something we should never take for granted. For as good as the introduction of civil partnerships was in a historical context, opinion polls have shown time and time again that people are ready for marriage equality. It seems that gay life on the Emerald Isle could not be better. But there’s an Irish saying that comes to mind: ní mar a shíltear a bhítear – things aren’t always as they seem. Progress has certainly been made for gay rights in Ireland, but let’s not forget the everyday prejudices and discrimination that others within the LGBTQ community face. More should and can be done. The word ‘eile’ can be translated to mean ‘other,’ ‘else,’ ‘next’ or ‘more.’ An chéad rud eile means the next thing, while an pobal eile means the other community. At Eile, we want to be the next step in LGBT media. We know there’s more to our community than a Friday night out in the local gay club. We want another perspective on issues & topics, with new talent making their voices heard. We want something else, and we know you do, too. It won’t matter if you call yourself queer in Cork, lesbian in Limerick, bi in Belfast or straight in Strabane – Eile is an all-Ireland publication. There will be a wide range of material on Eile that will be relevant to you. We have a brilliant team of new writers that are ready to make their voices heard, and that team is growing. You’re welcome to make your voice heard too; all you need to do is contact us. So, here we go. Here’s to the beginning of a new journey. It’s time for another view.
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All Photography: Tom Walker
EILE Magazine | Out ‘n’ About
A Moment to Remember While the vote on the Constitutional Convention was being announced at the Grand Hotel in Malahide, County Dublin, crowds had gathered in Dublin City to support LGBT Noise in their Kiss for Marriage event; a kiss-out demonstration outside the Gaiety Theatre. Anna McCarthy of LGBT Noise and events promoter Buzz O’Neill (who had been recently attacked on George’s Street) both called on the Government to oppose homophobia in all forms before McCarthy announced the 79% vote in support of marriage equality for the Republic. EILE Magazine 5
News | World
LGBT World News RoundPalme d’Or Win for Lesbian Film
The top award at the 66th Cannes Festival went to a film based on a graphic novel, called Blue is the Warmest Colour (La Vie Adele) . This film tells the story of a love affair between Adele (Adele Exarchopoulos) a 15 year-old, and Emma (Lea Seydoux) and is directed by Abdellatif Kechiche, a French director, born in Tunisia. The winner was chosen by the prestigious Steven Spielberg, being the head juror, and the panel included Nicole Kidman and Ang Lee. Interviewed after the win, Lea Seydoux said: “It’s a universal story of love, and I think we need love these days”. Kechiche said he would consider cutting some scenes in order to have the film shown to a wider audience. Thierry Fremaux, the Cannes Film Festival Director, said he loved the idea that while in EILE Magazine 6
France they are having a ‘big fight’ right now about Marriage Equality, there is a film about love between two people of the same sex. Yet that film was made and conceived two years ago, “so the artists are always, you know, writing the future”. He also said he thinks that everyone who is against homosexual marriage, or love between two persons of the same sex must see the film.
Canada To Lift Its Blood Ban?
will feel that this change does not go far enough, but given the history of the blood system in Canada, we see this as a first and prudent step forward on this policy.” They also stated: “…current scientific knowledge and statistical information…shows that men who have had sex with other men are at greater risk for HIV/Aids infection than other people.” For the UK and Australia, the abstention period is one year, less in other countries, while the US still has a lifetime ban on blood donation by gay men. Canada screens all blood donations for HIV, so why then, with their “current scientific knowledge and statistical information” have they been more severe on gay men than other countries like the UK, who also have access to that same scientific knowledge?
In what seems like a draconian and exclusionary measure, Canada is to lift the lifetime ban on donation of blood by gay men, but only if they have abstained from sexual relations with other men for a period of five years prior to donating. Canadian Blood Services, through Dr Dana Devine (Vice-President of Medical, Scientific and Research Affairs) released a news statement that: “We recognise that many people
“…given the history
of the blood system in Canada, we see this as a first and prudent step forward…”
News | World
-Up US LGBT Rights: A Bargaining Tool?
Hopes of many LGBT American citizens were dashed last night when the US Senate decided to withdraw the amendment that would see same-sex married foreign partners granted citizenship by the Immigration Reform Bill. The decision to withdraw the amendment came from its proposer, Senator Patrick Leahy, the Judiciary Commitee Chairman, after he was warned that the amendment would stop the bill from being approved, because of Republican opposition. As this opposition was already known by Senator Leahy and the Democrats, and in fact by Obama, one would hope that the amendment was not just a bargaining tool, with the LGBT community as pawns in the political game. Republicans, on the other hand, had demanded that visa conditions for highly-skilled foreign workers should be eased to facilitate the technology industry, as they wished to hire workers from China and India. This suggestion was approved, and so the bill will
Words: MKB move on to full Senate debate next month. Although Senator Leahy still maintains that he is committed to ending LGBT discrimination, one wonders, without this amendment, how such equality could come about. President Obama had included this measure in his blueprint for immigration reform, ‘hoping’ that the Gang of Eight would also include it, yet the amendment has been unceremoniously sacrificed for Republican approval of the bill. While this bill will facilitate 11 million illegal immigrants in gaining full citizenship (even though it will take 13 years to do so) it surely discriminates against those Americans who already have citizenship, i.e. the LGBT community, in favour of citizenship for illegals. Many American citizens are forced to live overseas, as their same-sex partners would not be allowed to live in the US, not having citizenship. This again shows a need for this situation to be addressed in the Immigration Reform Bill, and points to a willingness to discriminate against present citizens to secure bill approval by Republicans.
The Senate panel approved the bill by a vote of 13 to 5, and President Obama has urged that it be brought forward for debate as soon as possible.
Although Senator Leahy still maintains that he is committed to ending LGBT discrimination, one wonders, without this amendment, how such equality could come about.
The United States advocacy organisation, Immigration Equality, has said that the Democrats should be ashamed of themselves for not defending the rights of the LGBT community against “scapegoating” by the Republicans.
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Opinion | Country Life
We Are Here! Are LGBT people in rural Ireland still seen as “the only gay in the village�? Kaycee Clifford manages to surprise a lot of people he meets, when he tells them that Sligo has its own Pride festival. Illustration by Philip Dunne.
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Opinion | Country Life
“Woah, woah, woah… Back up. Sligo has a Pride parade?” It is a question that I have been faced with more than once, even though the Northwest LGBT Pride festival has been happening for the past eight years. Each time I hear it, I wonder if people in big cities like Dublin or Belfast have even noticed that there is a Queer community outside of their built-up metropolis of regular Queer events. When gay guys find out that the closest gay bar to Sligo is in Galway, it is quickly followed with the question; “What do you do?” As if being gay revolves around frequenting gay bars and becoming a regular on “The Scene” is what being gay is all about. Contrary to popular belief, being gay in a less built-up area isn’t much different from those who consider themselves lucky enough to be living in a town or city with a gay bar or scene. In the Northwest we seem to have adapted ourselves very well to the LGBT stereotype without having a “Scene”. And, like in every other LGBT community, there are those who break the barriers and stereotypes and band together to create something amazing and interesting every year in August, bringing a Pride festival to the region which aims to include everyone and ensures that each person’s voice is heard.
one-night-stands. Just because we have no clubs or bars that we can stroll into to try our luck with someone, that doesn’t stop us from doing a few sit-ups and bicep curls in the hopes that our new profile picture will catch the eye of Mister Hot Stuff who works down the road. The same guy that you’re almost 100% sure you’ve come across on Gaydar, but you’re not sure enough to strike up a conversation with him. Sure, from the outside, queer life in the Northwest may sound, seem and look boring. However, in Sligo, Leitrim and Donegal we have adapted and created a new way of being Queer that doesn’t involve gay bars and clubs. We have our LGBT group meetings once a week, which range from youth groups to social dancing, and even party nights. And yes, sometimes things can get a bit boring, but it is times like that when we stand up and decide we need something new and instead of just talk about it we do it. Even though it is easy to feel cut off and isolated in such a wide geographical area, we know that there is something out there for us and if we can just hang on until the next meeting is taking place, we will find someone just like us out there.
The Country Club f
Some of what rural Ireland has to offer for LGBT people: TranSE Waterford’s trans group meets once a month and also has a dedicated helpline dedicated to trans issues in the South East. The number is 0851477166 and can be reached by email at: vanessa@teni.ie. Chill Out Youth Group Chill Out is Waterford’s group for LGBT young people aged 14 - 23 and located in the Edmund Rice Youth and Community Centre on Manor Street. The group can be contacted at 0868589865 or at chillout@wstcys.ie. Rainbow Social Group The Red Ribbon Project hold a social group that meets every Tuesday evening at 7:30pm at 9 Cecil Street, Limerick
With those thoughts and actions it’s never easy to forget that we are here!
“What do you do if you want to meet someone?” Like I said, the queers of the Northwest have adapted ourselves very well. We’ve even adopted some tricks from the big city folks in the form of Grindr and Gaydar; websites & apps that city folk use more than bars to cruise through potential partners and EILE Magazine 9
Interview | John Lyons TD
John Lyons: The Essential Ingredients Scott De BuitlĂŠir pops into Leinster House for a quick chat with the North Dublin TD.
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Interview | John Lyons TD
John Lyons is a typical Dubliner in some ways; warm-hearted, welcoming and well able to talk, although only the last of those traits is typically associated with members of the Oireachtas. Despite a busy schedule – having only recently returned to Ireland from a business trip to China, and hitting the ground running with countless meetings on a bright May evening – the thirtysomething year old makes sure that there’s a smile and a cup of tea ready for me at Leinster House for our interview. From his demeanour, his voice and indeed, from his job, you wouldn’t know Lyons was openly gay unless it came up in conversation, which may or may not happen. As he jokes during our chat, others are usually “more obsessed” with his sexuality than he is, but he’s not one to play on this. Overplaying the ‘gay card’ is not the Dub’s style, and never has been. “I was very anxious from the very beginning not to become a ‘gay TD,’” he stresses, as we get into how it became properly public, i.e. when he was elected to represent the Dublin North-West constituency. “I can remember taking the call in my mother’s sitting room for The Sun,” Lyons recalls. “It was fine, really; just talking about stuff like what it was like to be one of the first openly gay TDs. They rang back about half an hour later and said ‘we just wanted to check that you’re actually out.’ I told them that anyone who knows me knows the story.” “The only people who got to know the story [from the tabloids],” he continues, “were either those who never knew John Lyons, or who
might have voted for John Lyons in the election but didn’t know too much about him, but most people knew at that stage.”
So, does Lyons think that being in bed with Fine Gael has forced Labour to tone down their progay image?
As he unexpectedly refers to himself in the third person, I can’t help but wonder if the John Lyons sitting before me in his office – as friendly and casual as one can be while wearing a business suit – is in fact a different person to the openly-gay Labour TD that I’m meant to interview. He assures me that he is one and the same, although “certain flavours may be a little stronger now” than when he got elected, while he hope that the “essential ingredients” have remained the same. The biggest concern he had when The Sun made his sexuality their front page story was not the reaction from constituents or fellow politicians, but rather how his mother would feel about it. Sure enough, when her neighbours bumped into her at the local shop, they assured her – in the colourful language of Dubliners – that they weren’t going to pay much attention to the tabloids’ headlines.
“Let me put it this way,” Lyons replies, preparing me for a political answer. “we wouldn’t have had a Constitutional Convention, if it weren’t for Labour putting it in as a condition for government. So, we wouldn’t be debating one of the last-standing institutions where inequality is allowed to happen, if it weren’t for Labour. That’s the reality.” This is where Lyons shows that even when it comes to LGBT issues, he doesn’t just take notice
“I was very anxious from the very beginning not to become a ‘gay TD.’”
That said, no man is an island, and the TD is just one player on the team that is the Labour Party. For a party that has such a positive reputation within the LGBT community in recent years, the volume on Labour’s equality agenda seems to have been turned down slightly since going into coalition with Fine Gael. Despite Labour’s leader, Tánaiste Eamon Gilmore, personally announcing his support for marriage equality during Dublin Pride last year, there was a period between the last elections and the Constitutional Convention when LGBT rights fell off Labour’s to-do list.
of the higher-profile ones such as marriage equality. He intentionally mentions the Gender Recognition Bill, which the current Government has delayed looking at until late 2014, a move that has angered the transgender community. It was a move which he decribed as “genuinely frustrating,” but understands the complexity around dealing with such an issue in a legal sense, from how it will impact other legislation on marriage and taxation. For example, if a married transgender person transitions to their true gender, the State cannot officially recognise the person’s transition, because same-sex marriage currently does not exist in Ireland. In other words, such a person would have to divorce their partner before the State could recognise a trans person’s true gender. Lyons believes that this type of problem would not exist if the Government introduces equal marriage before dealing with a Gender Recognition Bill, as EILE Magazine 11
Interview | John Lyons TD the two are certainly linked.
felt that day.
“That’s one of the skills you develop when you’re one of the 166 members in the Dáil,” he explains. “You get to understand, like nobody else does, the complexity around actually doing something. You learn to appreciate it and you come to tame your frustration a bit.”
“I have a few little moments from that weekend that were very emotional,” he tells me. “Me listening to Colm O’Gorman … and [O’Gorman] saying ‘I’ve just had enough, I can’t do this anymore.’ That’s something you only say once in your life about an issue… and it just cut me down inside.” Lyons also tells the story of Yvonne, an elderly woman involved with the Convention who was delighted with the 79% vote in favour of marriage equality. He realised at that point that rights
Regardless of political insight or experience, it’s a difficult job to see an issue move slower than the public would expect it to, and explaining bad news to people affected by the red tape of politics is a necessary evil that is learned by trial and error. Slow as it may be, Lyons, while patient, is optimistic about LGBT issues in the Republic. Earlier this year, he became co-chair of Labour’s LGBT sub-group, which gives the party the strongest presence in the LGBT community by far – in Dublin, at least. If equality is coming, though (and however slow) will there come a day when political parties shouldn’t need such groups? Lyons seems to hope so, whether or not it happens in our time. “I mean, who would’ve thought that at some stage, slavery would be gone,” he asks. “Or, who would’ve thought that up until a couple of decades ago, you couldn’t buy a condom here, or that it was illegal to actually sell them? …what I’m saying is that you have to aspire.” While one could be cynical for Lyons’ apparent idealism, he has seen first-hand how politics can have the occasional wonderful moment. Speaking at the Constitutional Convention at The Grand Hotel in Malahide, County Dublin was a moment that he “will never forget,” and finds it difficult to explain the emotional cocktail he 12 EILE Magazine
John Lyons, T.D. for Dublin North West
issues don’t just affect younger people, but are issues that transcend all ages. If his positive attitude is one of the “essential ingredients” that Lyons described earlier, maybe the Labour Party has found a winning recipe.
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Menswear | Accessories
What would Ancient Egypt, Rihanna and Belfast have in common? Lewis Robert Cameron has the answer...
Ancient Inspirations
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Menswear | Ancient Inspirations
Rihanna, Ciara, Rita Ora, Ancient Egyptian artefacts and young men wearing women’s statement jewellery. Words which rarely find themselves in the same sentence. Men are a bit safe when it comes to pushing the boundaries on all things men’s style, and these girls rock the androgynous look on a regular basis. Not to mention an eclectic assortment of oversized, gold chunky chain infused jewellery. Ancient Egypt is of course the birthplace of wearing such oversized, gold chunky chain infused jewellery, and men wearing women’s statement jewellery literally describes my life. Enter local model Piaras Smyth – who has the eyes of a lost Albino Siberian wolf – and one of my favourite local fashion photographers, Simon Crawford. The two lent their talents to a shoot I styled a few months back in the vibrant Rainbow restaurant on Botanic Avenue in Belfast. The shoot found Piaras rocking several statement jewellery designs from the glamorous and feminine-produced collections of the Stella & Dot. These collections have been worn by various celebrities such as Halle Berry, Elle Macpherson and Selena Gomez. Oh, and did I mention Piaras loved every minute of it? Swapping snake glass orb pendants with gold vine necklaces and my personal favourite, the cluster chain choker. Known simply as the Sierra Necklace, this powerful design is one of true elegance and confidence. The bigger and bolder the design, the better the statement. Nothing says “I run this motha” quite like a bib of shimmering, gold finished brass discs; draped gracefully from a brass arc and backed with a gold finished disc chain to boot. For the more daring and more in-tuned modern style conscious man, women’s jewellery is the way forward. It screams high fashion and more importantly it is 100% adaptable and open to individual interpretation. It is perfect for creating and trans-
lating catwalk trends for the everyday modern man, and it can be worn alongside both day and evening wear as an added bonus, enabling longevity with various notable and impressionable on-going trends. Not to mention it looks freaking awesome. I ventured outside last week to the retro Parisian décor dressed surroundings of the recently opened Gypsy Lounge and I pulled on a gold chunky chain necklace to grant myself an added touch of majestic flavour. Walking the walk, talking the talk, and looking every bit like an after party moment from a lavish Givenchy catwalk show. I do practice what I preach, folks.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have been out donning the odd gold oversized statement pendant, and have found myself complimented by both genders on my choice of accessories as a result. For me, I am all about the animal, tribal and ethnic designs having begun my journey into the world of fashion by blogging for my debut blog The Fly’s Eye. Thus insect jewellery is a personal favourite with jewel embellished animal alternatives arriving as a close second. To summarise: women’s jewellery is the business. Man up and try it. If you don’t believe me, check out Piaras. P.S.: If I didn’t mention it before…he loved it.
Words: Lewis Robert Cameron Photography: Simon Crawford Model: Piaras Smyth
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Menswear | Accessories
Model: Piaras Smith Photography: Simon Crawford
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Menswear | Coming Up...
Don’t Miss...
Lewis Robert Cameron interviews the Lisburn-based dancer and model, Gyasi Sheppy for EILE Magazine Online.
Record Store Gay Dublin’s Outhouse LGBT Centre got behind International Record Store Day on April 20 with their own take on the festivities, with some brilliant Irish talent performing in the building throughout the evening. Amongst the bands were Lights, Camera, Sundown (pictured above, left) and Squarehead (above, right) who helped Outhouse raise over €1,200 for the LGBT resource and community centre. All photography: Tom Walker
EILE Magazine 17
Travel | Couchsurfing
“You can crash on the couch...� Paul Corcoran shares his experience of couchsurfing in Ireland, and explains what the movement is all about. Illustration by Ciara Kenny.
Get the word out to those that matter. 18 EILE Magazine
Travel | Couchsurfing
Last year, after six months of travelling around Britain and Ireland, my partner and I sat with my mother’s cousin in her kitchen. I showed her our Couchsurfing profile on my laptop. One of the first things she noticed was that the first line of our profile states that we are a gay couple. “Why would you have that there?” she asked. I explained that by being very open about who we are, we allow people to selfselect towards or away from us. My partner and I have had a profile on couchsurfing.org since 2009. We were living in Edinburgh then and our first guests were a gay couple who were already friends. We signed up during their visit and they gave us our first reference. A couple of years later, and with many more couch hosting and surfing experiences under our belts, we stayed with them in Germany. Couchsurfing.org is a website to facilitate people meeting and hosting each other in their homes. When you travel, you can search for hosts to stay with (or to simply meet for a coffee or pint while you visit their region). At home, you can welcome surfers to your city and offer to let them sleep in your home. On the site itself, there are many active groups based around locations and common interests. There is no sense of obligation. Many people never have the opportunity to host and yet they travel. Many have no desire to travel, but they bring the world to them. To arrange a stay, you search for the city you’re going to, and send requests to the hosts you would like to meet or stay with. When I tell people that we are Couchsurfers, and that this is something we enjoy doing, anyone who is new to the concept asks: “have you ever had any negative experiences?” We have never been harassed or had anything stolen. The site has many built in safety features. When you join, you can have your name and address verified. Every time you meet another member, you can leave each other a reference. Over time, this referencing builds up a huge web of trust and a sense of connection. Some profiles have hundreds of references. Currently, we’re up to eighty-nine. It is up to each individual to be clear about their needs and boundaries. I know people who only host individuals with at least five references. I have met ‘CSers’ with open door policies, accepting all requests. Being a Couchsurfer has had an amazingly positive impact on our lives. We have had holiday experiences that couldn’t have been had without our hosts’ contributions. I am remembering guided walks around Paris and Lyon. Nights out in Derry and Galway. Learning to see our own town through the eyes of visitors, and most of all, making friends with interesting and vibrant people we would never otherwise have met. To find out more, visit www.couchsurfing.org. You can find a link to Paul’s profile on his about.me page.
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Opinion | Emigration
The Emigrant’s Letter The Irish are no strangers to emigration, and guest writer Nick Bain knows that all too well, because he is amongst those who left Erin’s shores. Illustration by Philip Dunne.
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Opinion | Emigration We may not always like to admit it, but our wonderful little island has always been a nation of emigration. Some left off their own bat, some left to survive, some left at Her Majesty’s pleasure. Me? I left for several reasons. Maybe they’ll come to light later, but the main one: The Leaving Cert. Or perhaps more succinctly my results, my desire to study law and how they didn’t really see eye to eye under CAO/CAS. So in 1999, I departed the Emerald Isle from Rosslare one September morn, not knowing it would be the last time I’d truly be a permanent resident. It was exciting; I was off to study in a foreign land and I had no idea what lay ahead of me. Alright, so Bristol really isn’t that far away, but it really did mean no running home when things got tough. Home would be a plane ride away. Looking back at our export history, it’d be great if somehow we could properly capitalise on the labour and talent that left Ireland over the centuries. Like some kind of intellectual and brawn finder’s fee we could bill back to the new countries. But we can’t, and so we sing about our success at home and away louder and louder. We organise events like The Gathering to bring people back. Those of us who left champion home like we still live there; we’re a proud little nation and with every right. Population wise, you could fit us all into London with room to spare, yet we punch above our weight on so many levels.
getting drunk with friends, sunbathing and Saturday afternoons that lasted all weekend, not an immediate need to return. Leaving was a far easier choice than going back would be, and until Ireland catches up (and hopefully passes the UK by) I’m not about to come back to be an unequal citizen. If my husband isn’t recognised as such, sorry home, but you’re the one locking me out. And here is one of the downsides to being an expat; the contractual obligation to love everything from home is ever present. It’s rarely a challenge (defending Bono’s intentions and denying he can be a pretentious berk is one of them) but when the home nation screws up on something you firmly believe in you’re left a bit out there. LGBT equality - facepalm! Iona Institute - facepalm! Abortion - facepalm! Leaving you looking over your shoulder wondering; what the hell just happened? This isn’t my nation, but it is, and suddenly you’re the expert being called on in the pub to answer why a woman is now dead following a long drawn out miscarriage.
So there ya have it. I left, I love that I did it and it was totally right for me, but it has its hiccups and it’s downsides. It’s not the right choice for everyone, but it just might be for you so never be afraid to take that plane, or boat. If you do, be prepared to do what’s right. Taytos are the best crisps in the world, FACT. Bosco was a champion of children’s Flash forward 14 years, and now I’m in London educational and televisual entertainment, FACT. (excluding the occasional summer holiday) I’ve not No, we never actually say “Beggorah!” or “to be sure, lived at home since. I could practically work for to be sure.” Yes, some of us do say “Turty Tree and a Turd” when meaning 33⅓, but how many Scousers sound like Cockneys? From Wilde to Bacon, Markievicz to YES, that is exactly how you pronounce Harrington, BOD to Hoban, Fassbender to Bono, Siobhán/Aoife/Cillian/etc. YES, we can drink more than you. NO, there are no you name it – there’s been an Irish person there such things as leprechauns, but don’t you dare ask me to walk through a fairy fort. doing sterling work. We basically rock. Fáilte Ireland, I’m so often recommending pubs at home and reasons to visit. My Irish is about as good as it has ever been (Ordinary Level - B2 thank you very much), because more often than not when chatting to a fellow Irishman or woman we’ll end up sharing our cúpla focal. I regret losing the majority of my accent, though I think my other half regrets it more, but then my accent was never of the Father Ted or Boyzone variety so most people didn’t think I was Irish to begin with. But I’ve never regretted leaving home.
Oh, and one day we’ll find a way to get our adopted nations to cough up for our talent.
I’ve never experienced the yearning for the green green grass of home. I grew up in Dublin and as lovely as St. Stephen’s Green is, it reminds me of EILE Magazine 21
Feature | LGBT Media Image: Wikimedia Commons
The Rise (or Fall) of Gay Media
Scott De Buitléir takes a look at not only how the so-called “gay media” have been affected by the economic downturn, but also by how accepting mainstream media have become of LGBT issues.
When the closure of GaydarRadio was announced earlier this year, shockwaves were felt all across the gay community, including its loyal listeners in Britain and further afield. The unexpected announcement to shut down the station was made even more bizarre by QSoft’s decision to hand over their DAB (digital radio) licences to Gaydio, the Manchester-based station with a listenership of about one hundred thousand. This placed Gaydio in a prime position to represent the LGBT community on the British airwaves, with the station’s co-founder Toby Whitehouse excited “to be forging the biggest LGBT media outlet in the UK.” It remains to be seen, however, whether GaydarRadio’s fanbase will be happy to migrate to the new station, or if the station will succeed in renewing their DAB licences once the old GaydarRadio ones expire. The popular station’s closure posed a timely question, though, and one that gay media are often nervous to discuss openly with their audience. As we – as a community – achieve more equality and acceptance in mainstream society, do we still need our own platforms in the media? Or should we always have magazines, radio stations, programmes and other media that are 22 EILE Magazine
dedicated to LGBT people? In more progressive countries such as the Netherlands, Denmark or Sweden, one could be forgiven for assuming that an equal society means no need for separate media, but is that really the case? Are mainstream media ready to paint an unprejudiced picture? Morten Mechlenborg Nørulf, an LGBT activist based in Copenhagen, feels that mainstream media don’t always catch the many facets of the different people and issues in the LGBT community. “LGBT stereotypes,” he explains, “are presented in ways that makes them representative of the entire community. Their presence in mainstream media can be both good and harmful. Good, because LGBT people in mainstream media can raise awareness about their community in general, but harmful because it isn’t representative
Feature | LGBT Media
of the entire LGBT environment and its many aspects.”
report important stories that the ‘mainstream’ just doesn’t.”
Nørulf works with the MIX Copenhagen LGBT Film Festival, and also volunteers at Bøssehuset, a gay community centre in the Danish capital. The two organisations depend strongly on gay media to spread the word about what they do, but consider it a bonus when mainstream media take notice. “In Denmark,” Nørulf explains, “the LGBT media are still present and very important, in my opinion, despite the development of gay rights in Danish history [Denmark was the first country to introduce ‘registered partnerships,’ the precursor to civil partnerships in 1989]. But at other times, I am reminded that things are far from perfect when… transgender people suffer great emotional damage when trying to convince ‘the system’ that they aren’t mentally ill, or that in Denmark you cannot be granted asylum as a refugee on the basis of sexuality.”
“The movement for LGBT liberation is also global,” Gordon is keen to point out, “and those of us lucky enough to live in so-called ‘advanced nations’ should be interested in the lives of, and challenges facing our LGBT brothers and sisters elsewhere. At least we are at ‘This Way Out,’ and our tens of thousands of listeners […] must be interested, too.”
Greg Gordon echos the sentiments of Nørulf, albeit from a different perspective. Gordon is the producer of American radio show ‘This Way Out,’ a weekly programme covering global LGBT news. Although the show is produced in Los Angeles, it is broadcast on over 200 stations worldwide, as well as the NPR (National Public Radio) system in the US. With such an international listenership, Gordon is aware that LGBT media is important, even in the most liberal of countries. “I think there’ll always be the need in our community for media produced by, for and about us,” Gordon believes. “While the mainstream media’s coverage of LGBT issues has improved by leaps and bounds in recent years, no-one covers our community’s news and culture like our own media. We
Gordon’s show clearly makes sure that the ‘This Way Out’ listener knows about much more than just local issues, informing them also of LGBT news worldwide. A recent edition of the programme covered news about Italy’s Supreme Court ruling for same-sex parenting, the first ever conviction in Serbia for anti-gay bias, the end of forced sterilisation of trans surgery patients in Sweden and cultural featurettes from Australia and Mongolia. “Where else on radio or online could you hear about all of that in one 30 minute programme,” he asks, knowing that mainstream media would not see the point in addressing all those topics at the same time.
Morten Mechlenborg Nørulf, an LGBT activist from Copenhagen, Denmark
Ben Harvey takes a lighter approach to that of Gordon. The New York-based radio host produced the popular podcast, ‘The 6 Pack’ since 2007, although unlike Gordon’s NPR show, Harvey’s programme was more in the vein of light entertainment. “We branded it a ‘gay podcast,’” Harvey explains, “partly to help search engine optimisation, but mostly because we wanted to create an entertaining space for gay listeners. It was a big success, but by the time 2012 came around, it felt a little behind the times. Today, I’d say people are more prone to seek out content that they enjoy first and foremost, and if the personalities behind it
happen to be gay, then so be it.”
Greg Gordon, the Los Angeles-based producer and anchor of ‘This Way Out’
But does that validate a future for gay-orientated media? Nørulf seems to think so, for the moment at least. He recalls a conversation he once had with a colleague, who hoped that gay film festivals weren’t needed in the future, because the films shown would be available in any cinema and video store across the country. Nørulf felt the notion was quite controversial, but that it actually pinpointed the essence of his own beliefs. “But we are not there yet,” he claims. “That is why festivals like MIX Copenhagen and all the gay media in DenEILE Magazine 23
Feature | LGBT Media mark – online, print, and other forms – are still important to raise awareness and create communities among LGBT people.” “I think there will always be an audience for gay media,” Harvey adds, “as long as there are personalities involved who create a connection with the audience. Finally, gay people are being talked about in the mainstream news; on talk shows, reality shows, everywhere. In that landscape, gay outlets won’t connect simply by reporting the news; they have to give a name and face, distinct tone, and humour in order to break through.” Of course, global news, politics and current affairs aren’t always the sole message of the media. For as many reports on laws, crimes and rights that may be required, there is also a need for personal and heartfelt stories to be shared in the media. “Being gay and coming out of the closet,” Nørulf explains “is still hard for many young people, and in this matter LGBT media can give inspirational stories and information about how to deal with the situation, especially online. This is something mainstream media in society often forgets to deal with, doesn’t have the time to, or isn’t interested in covering. And maybe
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New York-based DJ Ben Harvey
that is the way it should be. I don’t expect mainstream media to cover all the aspects in life that I find interesting as a gay man. That’s why specialised media – where new online platforms have huge potential – is important to have, even in developed liberal countries!” With that in mind, where now for gay media? Do we keep going the way we are now, or do we need a change in tactics and perspective? As a self-labelled “large-scale consumer,” Nørulf predicts that LGBT media will continue on the path they are already on; engaging actively with social media in the same way mainstream media have taken to it. It is at that point, however, that Nørulf surprisingly takes note of a possibly overlooked form of communication.
“Look at Grindr; a relatively new gay medium, and its potential to engage homosexual men in community building. It might not be considered as LGBT media – traditionally speaking – but it is a possible example of how in the future it will evolve. And remember, as long as you share commonalities and traits with fellow humans, you will gather in social groupings around common identities.” Nørult feels that a common language within that group will always exist, giving birth to specialised media. “My dream,” he says “is that sexuality wouldn’t have to be used as a denominator, that it wasn’t an issue or a matter people would care so much about, but reality is different and sexuality is a strong factor in many aspects of life.” “And as long as this is the case,” Nørulf concludes, “LGBT media will exist.” This article was first published on Scott De Buitléir’s personal blog.
Opinion | Northern Ireland
An Open Letter on Love Having paid close attention to the debates around marriage equality across the UK, including his native Northern Ireland, Anthony Zagariko writes for about how complete strangers are affecting his life.
I am a 27-year-old man. I am in a loving relationship with someone I hope to marry. I also hope to have children and have a family to call my own. But because I was born gay, this is being denied to me. Had I been born straight, being denied these things would be an alien concept. So why is it acceptable to do so because I am gay? I could launch into a rant about how the world is full of so many people who are unfit to be parents, but that won’t achieve anything. It is not my position to judge who should and shouldn’t be parents. I merely want others to stop doing it to me. I do not believe in God, nor do I believe in organised religion. That is my opinion and one I will not enforce on others. But when equal marriage opponents use their religious beliefs to belittle my love, it’s upsetting and infuriating. There is a question I would like to put to equal marriage opponents. Imagine gay marriage and same-sex adoption was legal in Northern Ireland. You don’t know me and we have never met. Nor will we ever meet. Imagine that tomorrow, I marry my fiancé and the day after, we adopt two lovely children. Unless I personally told you, you would have no idea I got married and became a father. So, how exactly would that affect your life? How would my day-to-day life affect yours? The truth is that it wouldn’t, and this is where the debate on equal marriage upsets me. By marrying my partner, all I am doing is making a commitment like any loving couple wants to do. I am not demanding to be married in a church that does not want me, nor am I demanding it be publicised to infuriate equal marriage opponents. I just want to marry the man I love. It only becomes an issue for you because you make it an issue. You chose to enforce your beliefs on others and use those beliefs to deny me my rights. My marriage won’t stop you practising religion nor will it stop you from going to your place of worship. My marriage only affects you because you choose to be offended by it.
campaigners refuse to accept any opinions different from their own. But when it comes to equality, there can be no difference of opinion. I will refer to my earlier point when you claim your rights are being trampled on – equal marriage only affects you because you chose to make it an issue. If you stop using your religion to prevent laws that grant equal rights, people will stop attacking your beliefs. But to my fellow supporters of gay marriage, I urge you to remember that not all Christians are against us. Some are actually in support of equal marriage while others choose to live and let live. While it may be difficult at times, it is important to respect others – even when their opinions are different from our own. But no-one has the right to make us feel like second-class citizens despite what their holy book might say. We are human beings first and foremost and we deserve to be treated equally. Anthony Zagariko is a graphic designer, based in Dundrum, County Down. He lives with his fiancé, three dogs, two cats and far too many Apple products. He is currently working towards a degree in Design at the University of Ulster.
When you start denying rights by pushing your beliefs onto others, people will get upset, as I’m sure you have witnessed. You might claim that gay rights EILE Magazine 25
Feature | Marriage Equality
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Feature | Marriage Equality
The Revised State of Marriage Equality
In the first week of EILE Magazine’s launch online, David Gormley wrote about the Labour Party’s proposed Equal Marriage Bill to the Oireachtas. In light of the Constitutional Convention’s 79% vote in support of equal marriage in the Republic, David returns to the issue once again. The Constitutional Convention has recommended a referendum on marriage equality, but do we have to put the question to the voters? The Labour Party would prefer to make marriage equality a reality, not through plebiscite but through the Dáil. To that effect, Senator Ivana Bacik has published a bill on behalf of Labour which, if enacted, would remove the existing ban on same-sex couples marrying. Currently, same-sex couples are not entitled to marry, due to a clause in the Civil Registration Act of 2004, that specifically sets aside marriage as an institution that is exclusively available to heterosexual couples. Labour’s bill would remove that clause, replacing it with gender-neutral language. However, one of the major question-marks over marriage equality legislation in Ireland is whether or not the Constitution allows for it. Article 41 does not explicitly define marriage as being between one man and one woman, though that was almost certainly the intention of those who drafted it. As such, it will be up to the courts to clarify whether same-sex couples could be included in the Constitution’s definition.
In 2006, Katharine Zappone and Anne Louise Gilligan, who married in Canada shortly after the introduction of marriage equality there, initiated the so-called KAL case in the High Court, arguing that the Irish state must recognise their Canadian marriage. The judgement in that case was handed down by Ms Justice Dunne who found that the constitution does not require recognition of same-sex marriages, and that the Civil Registration Act of 2004, which prohibits same-sex couples from marriage, was a legitimate expression of current Irish attitudes. She also said that the Constitution was a “living document” (i.e. interpretations of its provisions could alter in line with societal attitudes) and her judgement does not comment on whether legislation to allow samesex couples to marry would be constitutional or not. This decision was appealed to the Supreme Court, though the Court has yet to address the case. Ms Justice Dunne’s decision seemingly leaves open the possibility that legislative enactment of marriage equality would be permissible. Even if Labour’s bill could survive judicial review, it still faces another hurdle: Fine Gael. It
seems unlikely that there is any will within Fine Gael to tackle same-sex marriage, especially so soon after dealing with abortion, another contentious social issue. Enda Kenny’s decision to advance legislation codifying the findings of the X case has met with fierce opposition from some backbenchers, and pressure on the party from rural and religious voters. Lucinda Creighton, a minister in Kenny’s cabinet, has even flirted publicly with the idea of voting against the legislation and leaving Fine Gael. This kind of internal strife is something Fine Gael will be eager to avoid repeating. Although senior party figures like Justice Minister Alan Shatter and Transport Minister Leo Varadkar have expressed support for marriage equality, the party is far from consensus on the issue. Moreover, Kenny has himself expressed opposition to same-sex marriage and any attempt by him to pass Labour’s bill would probably not sit well with his socially conservative Mayo constituents (these are the same constituents who elected Michelle Mulherin, after all). It is therefore more likely that marriage equality will be put to the people in a referendum, thereby limiting the potential for EILE Magazine 27
Feature | LGBT News internal conflict in Fine Gael. The Constitutional Convention will soon report on its consideration of the issue, and a supportive recommendation could provide the impetus for such a referendum. LGBT activists should be encouraged by polls showing consistent, large majorities of Irish voters supporting marriage equality. Opponents argue that this support is soft and is likely to erode once opposition mobilises in the run-up to a referendum. This, unfortunately, seems plausible, and supporters will also have to contend with unfavourable voting patterns. The elderly, who are most likely to oppose marriage equality, generally vote in significantly higher numbers than younger people, who mostly support it. That said, opponents will have an enormous challenge given just how large the majorities in support are. Marriage equality is not a done deal in Ireland, but there is certainly cause for optimism.
Scotland: First in UK to Introduce Equal Marriage? The Scottish Government announced yesterday that marriage equality legislation will be introduced to Holyrood within the next month. Alex Neil MSP, during a question time session in Holyrood yesterday, confirmed that a Marriage and Civil Partnership Bill for Scotland will be introduced before their summer break. Unsurprisingly, the Catholic Church in Scotland is against the motion. The Church of Scotland, however, is also against the proposed legislation, despite recently voting to allow gay ministers in its church. Due to both churches’ cold reception of Holyrood’s intentions, the Scottish Government intends to give religious institutions the right not to carry out same-sex marriage ceremonies if they so wish. Holyrood has recently been in talks with its UK counterparts, as the Scots believe an amendment is needed to current British equalities legislation to protect individuals who may not want to conduct same-sex ceremonies even if their church, as an organisation, is supportive of marriage equality. Meanwhile, the current debates surrounding same-sex marriage in Westminister affect England and Wales only; Scotland and Northern Ireland are able to make their own stance on the issue, thanks to devolution.
Nevada Nearing Marriage Equality Nevada’s State Assembly has approved a bill which will facilitate gay marriage and which was passed by the Senate in April. A statement was released by the equality group Freedom To Marry, praising Nevada’s decision: Lawmakers in Nevada took a huge step… toward undoing a discriminatory amendment that never should have been written into the state constitution and advancing the freedom to marry. We look forward to the day that Nevada couples join those in the 12 other marriage states in being able to make a lifelong commitment to the person they love. Whereas it was Republicans who made up the no vote, a Republican Assembly member, Michele Fiore, in an unusual move, introduced her gay mother to the Assembly, stating: “What is currently in our constitution does not allow [Fiore’s mother] to get married. You see, my mom is gay. I love my mom with all my heart, and I am who I am today because of her guidance, influence, and how she raised me.”
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Whereas it seems that 2016 is a long time to wait for same-sex couples to get married in Nevada, a state known for quickie weddings by the heterosexual community, it is at least a step in the right direction.
Politics | Northern Ireland
DUP: Let’s Keep Northern Ireland Backward?
Stephen Donnan looks at whether or not the DUP’s stance on marriage equality is in breach of the Good Friday Agreement
UK Culture Secretary Maria Miller wrote to the NI Executive in February to ask for a ‘Legislative Consent Motion’ to extend the outcome of the Marriage (SameSex Couples) Bill to Northern Ireland. Basically it means that if the Executive were to agree to it, the law would be extended to NI without the need for another Assembly vote. Given that the DUP wield a sizeable veto at the Executive table it is unlikely to happen.
the system of Government that we currently have here in NI. This ended the Troubles, paving the way for peace and setting up power sharing, the Executive and the various cross border agencies and institutions that operate here. The GFA also talks about civil rights and equality.
It is clear, however that the walls are closing in on the DUP over this issue. Arguably without devolution the outcome of the vote in Westminster would extend to NI, as it did with Civil Partnerships in 2004. However, with equality as a devolved issue equal marriage legislation is unlikely to come by way of the Assembly unless the DUP radically change tack. Most parties in the Dáil support the extension of marriage to same sex couples in the Republic of Ireland, and it likely that England, Scotland and Wales will legalise equal marriage before the next general elections. Sinn Fein, the Alliance Party, the SDLP and the Green Party all support same-sex marriage, the UUP are a mixed bag and the DUP are the only party bar the one man party of the TUV who are expressly opposed to legislating for any LGBT initiatives at all.
1. The parties affirm their commitment to the mutual respect, the civil rights and the religious liberties of everyone in the community.
But what of the Good Friday Agreement? The GFA, ratified by referendum in 1998, established
Specifically, the GFA states the following under the section of ‘Human Rights’ :
Okay, so that’s the first point, the DUP was never a signatory to the GFA. However, they have legitimised it by participating in the political processes and infrastructure that it established in 1998. Does this section alone give us a starting point from which to challenge the Executive’s decision to continue the ban on same sex marriage? Surely this ‘civil rights’ aspect provides adequate reasoning? Also, surely the affirmation of religious liberties is grounds enough to end the ban on Civil Partnerships taking place on religious premises, for those who are willing to conduct such ceremonies at least? But there is more to it than just this one sentence alone. Section 3 of the GFA also states the following:
3. Subject to the outcome of public consultation underway, the British Government intends, as a particular priority, to create a statutory obligation on public authorities in Northern Ireland to carry out all their functions with due regard to the need to promote equality of opportunity in relation to religion and political opinion; gender; race; disability; age; marital status; dependants; and sexual orientation. Right there. Equality of opportunity is to be promoted regardless of sexual orientation. Could this also prove to be another nail in the coffin for the ban on same-sex marriage? Surely by continuing to deny same-sex couples access to equal civil marriage, this flies in the face of the GFA? Section 4 of the same part of the Good Friday Agreement also puts onus on the NI Assembly to draft a NI Bill of Rights, which has yet to be done, adding that: • the formulation of a general obligation on government and public bodies fully to respect, on the basis of equality of treatment, the identity and ethos of both communities in Northern Ireland; and • a clear formulation of the rights not to be discriminated against and to equality of opportunity in both the public and private sectors. EILE Magazine 29
Politics | Northern Ireland The inclusion of discrimination legislation and equality of treatment was obviously envisaged, as was most of the GFA, to ensure good relations between the two dominant communities in NI in the wake of the conflict here. However, it does not specify this. I am no lawyer, however I am confident that these clauses in the GFA, which the NI Assembly, the Executive and countless national and cross border institutions are founded upon, present a reasonable case for same-sex marriage in NI. But there is even more. The fact that the GFA (as well as the Irish Nationality and Citizenship Act 2001) explicitly states that citizens in NI are able to choose their national identity, be it Irish, Northern Irish, British or a mix of all or none, also creates a position upon which the executive could be challenged. If a same-sex couple marry in the UK or ROI, would they then be able to take a legal challenge against the NI Executive, based on what is detailed above to demand equal recognition of their marriage in NI as in the jurisdiction in which it was solemnised? Like I have said, I am no lawyer or legal professional, however the argument for me is already won with Article 12 of the European Convention on Human Rights to which the UK and Ireland are both
signatories. Article 12 expressly states the following: “Men and women of marriageable age have the right to marry and to found a family, according to the national laws governing the exercise of this right.” It doesn’t say anywhere there that this is specific to an opposite-sex couple, and so I believe that this extends to same-sex couples based upon the interpretation of the law itself. The Court has so far refused to extend the protection to same-sex couples. However, it is being increasingly challenged on this issue. It is only a matter of time before the ECHR recognises the right of same sex couples to marry across the EU, and I believe equal marriage will only come to NI through a legal challenge, such was the case in Dudgeon vs United Kingdom in 1982, when the sodomy laws were officially thrown out in NI. Recent events have shown us that marriage equality is being recognised and legislated for in more countries than ever thought possible, and it is also likely that the US Supreme Court will examine the legality of the Defense of Marriage Act 1996 under the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution. With so much changing around us, it is only a matter of time before NI follows suit.
Did you know? Eile Magazine publishes a weekly podcast, covering LGBT news and events at home and abroad. Download the latest episode for free, and don’t forget to subscribe to Eile on iTunes! For more, visit:
eile.ie/podcasts
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Column | Lesbian Dating Jenny Butler gives her two cents’ worth on the world of dating for ladies, with some hilarious insight.
Dating for Girls: Avoid The Crazies! At the ripe old age of TwentySix (and a half), I’ve come to the conclusion that I may or may not be an old fart way before my time. I have lost almost all interest in the ‘scene’, and although I enjoy occasional nights out, work and returning to college both keep me extremely busy. I’d rather spend my evenings catching up with friends at their houses than in a crowded bar, but when it comes to dating, if you’re not out and about on the scene and you don’t live in a big city all the time, or work keeps you busy, your chance of meeting potential dates significantly decreases.
“Now, this is the question that puts your pride and your mutual love of P!nk and long walks on the beach to the test.” The creative forces behind gay men’s dating app ‘Grindr’ decided that it was time to make a similar app for lesbian and bisexual women, and so Brenda was unleashed in all her glory.
Every so often, you get chatting to someone you seem to get along with, and you swap numbers. You text on and off for a few weeks, and then comes the penultimate question: “Would you like to meet up?”
Online dating is a useful way to meet new people, but do we rely on it too much, and has it taken the fun out of getting to know people in person? A seemingly endless offering of online dating sites and apps allow you to tailor your match preferences right down to the the weight and dress sense of your intended. You’ll usually know a considerable amount of information about your date before you’ve even spoken to them on the phone, let alone met them in person. Unfortunately, I seem to be matched with people who act like they drink a cup of crazy with their cornflakes in the morning... I wonder what that says about me?! Apps offering GPS location are an increasingly popular option, and speaking of these, have you met Brenda yet?
ever-hopeful of a potential date appearing online, ‘hotbabe44_654+6’ sends you photos she took in the bathroom where you can clearly see in the background that she forgot to flush the toilet, or you receive the following message: “My boyf is hot, 26, and wants to watch us”. Fantastic if that’s what you’re looking for, but extremely irritating over time if it’s not.
If she were a real person, I’d imagine Brenda to be a matchmaker based out of a garden shed in Muff (County Donegal!!) where she hosts weekly gatherings of lonely wifeseeking lesbians over a nice cup of tea and home-made fairy cakes. Personally, I find apps like this really invasive, unless you’re looking to hook up there and then. If Brenda doesn’t float your boat, you could try gaydargirls.com, which I found is normally populated with the same few people. As you wait
Now, this is the question that puts your pride and your mutual love of P!nk and long walks on the beach to the test. It is either welcomed with an enthusiastic response and a suggestion of a time and date, or you receive a reply something like this: “No, I can’t I’m...” (Cue one of the following excuses): Getting the car NCT’d for the 100th time this week, marrying my partner of 10 years tomorrow, or taking my pet giraffe to the vet. Presuming you don’t get one of the aforementioned excuses, off you go on your first date. EILE Magazine 31
I actually think dates are better when they’re disastrous – there’s more to talk about! If it goes well, you can eventually laugh about it with your date, and if it goes terribly wrong, you can eventually laugh about it with your friends. Airports are great places for a first date; if your date is still carrying baggage from a previous relationship, and proceeds to tell you all about how it went wrong with her last girlfriend, while crying into her cappuccino, you can always tell Security that you’re suspicious of her, as you make a swift departure from terminal tears. Cafés are my date venue of choice. Going out for dinner at a restaurant is a lovely idea, but is it not a bit too much, if you haven’t met your date before? I find people are much more at-ease in a café setting, rather than feeling under pressure to impress at an up-scale and usually over-priced restaurant. There’s time enough for that on your second date when you’re planning to move in together and you’ve already named your newly adopted kitten. Or not. If it all works out, you might go on a few more dates and see how things progress, and if not, you can stop them from appearing as potential matches for you, and start your search all over again. Online dating brings a clinical ruthlessness to the quest to find our ‘One True Love’, and I’m not so sure that’s a good thing. If we all had a little bit more selfconfidence (myself included), would online dating still be as popular? Perhaps if we stop looking for ‘the one’ online, we might just find them in person.
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Behind The Candelabra
Frances Winston
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh Starring: Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, Dan Aykroyd, Rob Lowe, Debbie Reynolds, Scott Bakula, Paul Reiser
love letters and marriage proposals. However it was a different era, and this duality could be what led the superstar to take reckless chances, such as openly visiting gay porn theatres.
The fact that this film was made at all is a miracle, since most studios deemed it “too gay” to offer their backing to. Thankfully HBO came on board and Soderbergh was able to realise his vision – albeit for television. While this film was indeed made for television and will be broadcast as such in the US, on this side of the Atlantic it is getting a well-deserved cinema release, although it’s pacing does suffer because of it’s origins. While the two leads are straight - Michael Douglas became a megastar thanks to his roles in erotic thrillers Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct, and Matt Damon is something of an action-hero following the Jason Bourne films – they work amazingly well here, and don’t flinch from the more intimate details of closeted gay pianist Liberace’s relationship with a younger lover Scott Thorson (on whose memoirs this movie is based).
Liberace died from AIDS related pneumonia in 1987, and his final deathbed reconciliation with Scott is truly shocking in it’s depiction of the ravages of the disease.
The story begins in 1977 when Liberace, already an internationally famous and legendary star, meets the much younger Thorson, and embarks on a torrid affair with him. The pair quickly become inseparable, but Liberace’s vanity and straight façade, and Thorson’s drug use, eventually come between them. This leads to one of the messiest and most famous palimony suits in showbiz history. Liberace and Thorson both had their demons, and at times their bickering and rows are difficult to watch, as they are pretty close to the bone. Douglas completely embodies the flamboyant showman who was as camp as he was talented. It is difficult to believe that audiences genuinely thought that Liberace was straight, and sent him
Aside from the two leads, the rest of the cast do a great job, with Rob Lowe’s turn as a plastic surgeon being particularly memorable, and it is wonderful to see veteran screen icon Debbie Reynolds back where she belongs, as she plays Liberace’s mother. This film is completely camp and outrageous. However, it feels like a television movie due to the editing and pacing. This is not to detract from its impact, and Soderbergh manages to capture the sheer overthe-topness of Liberace’s world without parodying it. This could easily have been a voyeuristic queeny take on what was indeed an incredibly tempestuous relationship. Instead, he tries to capture the heart and motivation of the men – both good and bad. There are a couple of unintentionally funny scenes, partly because people don’t necessarily remember how outlandish some of Liberace’s quirks were. That aside, this is an engrossing and informative film, about a man who was so super secretive about his true nature, that his people even tried to cover up the true details of his death, to maintain the façade that he was straight. With more sequins that Dreamgirls, this is thought-provokingly camptastic.
Opinion | God or Dancing?
There is no God…
…but there may be dancing! Joseph Kearney takes an unconventional look at religion and the afterlife. When I was 16-18 years of age, I wondered about the ‘usual’ things; my life partner, God, whether there was one, and the afterlife, again whether there was one. Some 14 years later, I still ponder the same thoughts, and I’m pretty sure there is no afterlife. This acceptance was hard for me, as I lost my mother at 21 and the thought of seeing her again was such a comfort as I mourned her passing. Almost a decade later, it still hurts to think that is simply not the case, but every fibre of me senses that in this life all we have is now. This moment. And when our hearts stop beating, we stop too. What about God, you may ask. Well, as much as I’d dearly love to have faith and accept my fate is written, this equation also simply does not add up to much. An all powerful master of the universe or a loving Gaia, Buddha or Zeus just won’t fly with me. Perhaps I believe in symmetry and the motion of the universe as being a constant enormous dance to which we belong. This comforts me and seems more reasonable. We move as one and in the same direction towards a grand finale, where the whole dance may simply re-emerge and we once again may meet those we lost and redo that which we enjoyed doing. Physics and astronomical theories escape me, but I believe that in space anything is possible. If the universe did implode and re-ignite, then I’d see my mother again, but I’d also have to suffer losing her again. Could anyone survive that? Moving along that teen angst-ridden lexicon of pertinent questions – God and the afterlife – let’s move onto Mr. Other Half; Mr. Kearney-[insert second surname here]. What should he be like? Where can I meet him? And whoever you are, could you hurry up?
My therapist asked me the same thing a year ago; who would be my ideal partner? This stumped me – I have no idea. So eager was I to give a seemingly well thought out answer, I announced: someone just like me. Easy going, sporty, charming, happy and positive, but above all, honest. He scoffed and said “ye’d kill each other.” I popped my ‘ideal man’ answer into my mental back pocket and decided to revise this later. So a year on, what’s the update? Well, I’d still like a man who is honest, decent and sporty. I still want someone who is charming and positive. So the answer remains essentially the same, only I don’t want someone who is exactly like me. I want someone who is their own person, and who can intrigue and inspire me. I want someone who thinks I am amazing and who I also think is pretty damn good. My best friend of a thousand years just met a guy; she is 40 and he is 41. She said she was afraid of hurting him and possibly should back out before anyone gets hurt.”If you like him, date him,” I texted her. “If he gets hurt, that’s the risk we take. If he is a prince and treats you like a lady, keep him. You deserve a knight in shining armour and no less.” Why set your sights low? Aim as high as you can. We are adults and our life is all we have, all we have is now. This moment. This second. Nothing else is certain, so don’t be afraid to take risks because when we are dead, that’s it. And while we are living, isn’t it nice to feel alive?
EILE Magazine 33
EILE Magazine Artwork: Ciara Kenny