Zhiyu Luo, It’s Halloween Night and I Will Dress Up as a Happy Woman

It’s Halloween Night and I Will Dress Up as a Happy Woman

Zhiyu Luo

It’s Halloween night and I will dress up as a happy woman. I will dress up as a cathedral with glorious rouged windows And eyes like transparent candies. I will dress up as a rosy ghost in the form of a summer zephyr. I will dress up as freedom to say what I want. A button to end racism. A button to neutralize Vladimir Putin. I will dress up as a faulty bomb. A mistaken death sentence. A false tsunami alarm. A war cry, but as a bad joke only.

I will dress up as the opposite of eating disorders and sleep paralysis. I will dress up as a blood moon. Or a bloody period. Or a pregnancy test that says you’re not a mother yet, relax. Or plan B. Abortion pills. Marie Latour.

I will dress up as somebody whom you love deeply. Who loves you back too. Without failing. At least, I could pretend.

I will dress up As Icarus with diamond wings As Achilles head to toes in the River Styx As the color The taste The shriek of bold blue I will dress up as a story that has a proper ending

(Not this; we shouldn’t say goodbye Like this.

I’m sorry. My poem chokes me)

You see, I will dress up as a happy woman Whose heart is safe Who is not afraid of the family heritage of Cardiovascular detonation As soon as her feet touch the earth Who closes her eyes And sleeps soundly Without forcing herself to dream, to weep, to remember to breathe.