deciding whatin your’s importlife arintght now Life Dreaming
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Selected pages from the 370 page Life Dreaming Expedition
Here’s a small selection of pages from the 8 modules and over 350 pages of worksheets and tools in the Life Dreaming Expedition. The full Expedition takes you step by step through a process that helps you discover what’s truly important in your life right now and how to map a path to your dreams. Along with thought provoking and indepth conversation about each stage of life planning, it contains dozens of printable templates and tables, videos, mp3s and whimsical activities that make planning fun.
deciding whatin your’s importlife arintght now Life Dreaming
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deciding whatin your’s importlife arintght now Life Dreaming
Each Module contains a treasure chest of treats for your expedition: • An introductory video - it’s short & sharp and lets you know what’s coming up. If you don’t want to listen to me then dive right in to the Module. • A simple checklist - it’ll be in the box at the beginning of the module so you can check you have everything you need • A relaxation mp3 that takes you away from the day to day and into your Life Dreaming space • A reinforcing mp3 at the end of the module that allows you to relax and reward yourself for all your effort • Gorgeous activity sheets that you can print off and work on • Beautiful templates and tables that will be useful forever • Great links and resources to specific posts I have written on the blog • Play Time - an activity about making something to symbolically and physically manifest the work of the module • Going Deeper activity that you can do in each module if you want to dive a bit deeper
Things you’ll need for this Module • Create your Life Dreaming Space [see the Life Dreaming Space ideas sheet] • Print off all the activity sheets – A Letter to Me; My Time Commitment Statement; Change Rooms; Heart, Mind, Body & Intuition reflection sheet; Cube questions sheet; 4 Path Way • Extra paper and pens if you want to draw and doodle • The Play Time Heart, Mind, Body, Intuition cube template printed off – scissors and glue and sparkle [optional] • Maybe earphones if you want to listen to the relaxation audio
In this module you’ll be: • Getting some of the Life Dreaming back story • Unpacking the Life Dreaming Expedition and seeing all the treasure you can play with ~ video, audio and activity sheets • Making a real commitment to Life Dreaming and yourself • Exploring what Change means to you • Listening to all the parts that make you who you are • Exploring how present you are in your life • Playing and making ~ all part of the fun If you’re mad busy you can skip this chapter and move on. Part of the Life Dreaming fluidity is that you choose what activities you want to do. Some may be more useful and relevant for your current circumstances than others.
There are no rules, except that You Rule!
I suggest that you have a quick read through a module and tick off which activities click with you and then do them. Life Dreaming Online
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Module 1 – 2
M1 Chapter 1
Once Upon A Time Y
ou’re very welcome to the Life Dreaming Expedition.
It’s an expedition because you’re going into some unknown territory. There are maps (all the modules), support (the Life Dreaming site), supplies (lots and lots of activities) and other explorers - so you’re not alone. I ask a lot of questions and have created heaps of activities. Essentially, the answers are up to you. I believe that you bring decades of life experience to this Expedition and it will guide you as you venture through the jungle. I don’t know why you’re here but there is one thing I already know about you – You care enough about yourself to take the time and space to explore what’s important in your life now and have some fun dreaming and planning what it is that makes your life whole. And that already makes you a pretty courageous and interesting person. Ultimately both the route you take, the adventures you have and the places you visit will be up to you. I choose to treat every Life Dreamer as an intelligent adult who can make their own decisions.
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Module 1 – 3
In your busy life you can often get caught up in the grains of sand on the beach, without realizing that: k You don’t like beaches k Love beaches but this isn’t the one you want to be on k Prefer lakes and forests k Love cocktail bars k Like all of the above at different times What I’m saying is that you can lose sight of the metaphorical landscape because you’re caught up in daily routine. I don’t know about you, but I need to have some sense that the day to day is somehow linked to a broader purpose (or passion or vision - whatever you want to call it) and that I have clearly chosen dreams and directions to engage my efforts and enthusiasm. The fact that I have had some role in creating meaning in my life is actually at the core of my passion and has resulted in Life Dreaming. Life Dreaming is about creating spaces to reflect on what’s important in your life right now and it’s the best gift you can ever give yourself. Life Dreaming is a process for anyone who may be unsettled, dissatisfied or simply wanting to challenge themselves about their life. You may be at a stage in your life where you feel the winds of change blowing; be they physical, emotional, intellectual, financial, spiritual, creative or just plain old existential. Many people don’t give themselves the time to reflect and explore before they develop life changing plans.
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Module 1 – 4
I’m all for the spontaneous decisions if I have some sense of the principles and self belief that drives them. I’m also keen on creating meaning in my life through a range of actions, and they change as my life changes and I grow older. Life Dreaming isn’t just about creating some kind of fabulous Life Plan (although we give you many gorgeous tools to do that). It’s about giving yourself time and space to really understand what drives you, what engages you, what lifts your heart and makes you smile. It’s about recognising what is already fabulous in your life and the deep range of skills and experience that you can draw on to create the life you want to live. It’s often just as important to choose how you don’t want to live your life as it is to decide how you do. The Expedition you are about to embark on gives you a whole pile of questions, activities and creative stuff to: k k k k k k k
Reflect Act Decide Imagine Create Appreciate Live
It’s about giving yourself time and space to really understand what drives you, what engages you, what lifts your heart and makes you smile.
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Module 1 – 5
The 8 modules are organised so that the first 4 give you time and space to reflect on where you are now, what’s important, your amazing resources and the internal/external chatter that will affect the scale and scope of your dreams and your belief in yourself. The second half of the Life Dreaming Expedition is all about making the decisions and choices that will drive and energise you into the future. There are heaps of activities to help you dream, plan and act in your life. Each module is broken into Chapters.
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Module 1 – 12
Activity 1
The Motivation Fish
A
bout a million years ago I did a psychology degree. That was fine, but I learnt a lot more about psychology through my work for nearly 30 years with groups, communities and organisations in Australia and Ireland. What fascinates me is how and why some people seem to be energised and engaged with their lives, and others less so. I was also interested in exploring why some groups and organisations seem to lose their way, get tired and lose their Vavavoom. I love researching and reading, so those questions led me to motivation theories. I read a theory over 20 years ago that looks deceptively simple, yet it’s awesomely applicable to individuals and groups. It’s called Goal Path Theory of Motivation. I’m not going to go into who developed it and all the layers of the theory, because I forget most of the details! I pulled together the core elements and used them all the time to help groups and organisations understand why they might be feeling lost, confused and unmotivated. I’m like most people in that I like my theories to be fairly clear, easy to explain and easy to put to practical use.
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Module 2 – 8
One day as I was writing/drawing the 3 core elements of the theory someone in the group said, ‘it looks a bit like a fish’. I looked at what I was writing and connected all the boxes and created the smiling motivation fish. It’s been a very useful reflection and planning tool ever since. A fish has to keep moving to stay alive.
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Module 2 – 9
Needs - What’s Important in My Life We all have a range of needs that act as ‘drivers’ to action ~ food, shelter, our friends, family, money, creativity, safety, belonging, making a difference, social justice, power, travel, reading, exploring, making, loving, playing, helping... Think about this: when a need is met it no longer motivates, so then what?
E Factors Investment of effort, enthusiasm, energy. It’s the energy and passion that fuels and moves the fish forward. You can increase your E Factors by clarifying your needs/wants and the goals and actions to make them real. Intervening variables The attitudes, beliefs and behaviours that you have about your life will greatly affect your aspirations and motivation. The glass half full/empty/overflowing syndrome. You have the power to transform your attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. It’s your choice. Goals – Promises to action We all need to set goals to meet our many needs/wants/dreams/aspirations. Sometimes we choose them consciously and other times the choice is unconscious. In all the goal setting (which is really just a series of choices and decisions you make to do something, or nothing) you need to clarify the why, who, what, when, where and how.
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Module 2 – 10
M2 Chapter 2
Words Have Power Things you’ll need for this Chapter • Maybe earphones to listen to the relaxation audio • Double check the list you’ve made to create your Life Dreaming Space • All the refreshments you may want
Y
our unconscious believes that your beliefs and self talk about the world and yourself are real.
That’s the good and the bad news. If you believe that you have no power, don’t deserve love, are useless with money, a great friend, a clever person, a loving partner and generous, then that’s how you will see yourself and your potential. You create your own self fulfilling prophecy and other people will be happy to support it.
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Module 3 – 5
“Hold on”, I hear you say. “What about reality and the facts.’ Hmmmm ~ there are literally as many realities as there are people in the world. And a whole pile of things we think are facts are in fact opinions. If enough people have the same opinions/‘facts’ then they form a kind of reality. That’s what forms the basis of all: k Religions k Spiritual practices k Economies k Communities k Relationships k Societies k Philosophies k Cultures There was a time when people believed that reality meant the world was flat, women were fragile creatures and the moon was made of cheese. Your beliefs about yourself, other people and the world form a reality. And currently there are probably billions of different ‘realities’ existing on the planet. And, as those beliefs are often based on thoughts and behaviours, they can be changed. Our beliefs are formed by our experiences, thoughts, attitudes and a range of external stimuli, such as parents, friends and broader society.
You have the power to define what success means to you... or happiness, or peace or wealth. Life Dreaming Online
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Module 3 – 6
To me, being a SUCCESS means living my values and being as authentic as I possibly can. It’s really about how I manifest my internal values into the external world. By my definition I’m a Roaring Success. By some others I’m not, because I don’t own my own car, earn lots of money, have a partner, kids or lots of designer clothes and shoes. I see value in all these things if they are important to you ~ they just haven’t been to me.
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Module 3 – 7
You can choose to have the courage to begin a conversation with yourself, and either affirm or challenge your beliefs and self talk. There are no absolutes and everything is open to challenge. The beliefs we choose about ourselves, and the world, are formed by a kind of lens that filters information in and out. We will let information in that supports our beliefs, and filter out information that challenges them. We let the information become ‘facts’ and ‘evidence’ to support our beliefs and self talk. They become what we define as reality. What you think and feel about yourself will critically affect what you believe is possible in your life and the language you use to describe yourself, and others has a huge impact on creating your reality. A quote from a book I read when I was 30 affected the rest of my life. In 1959, Victor Frankl said
“everything can be taken from you but the last of the human freedoms… to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances… to choose one’s own way” I then realized the power we have to make fundamental choices about ourselves and the world, rather than feeling we have no choice or control over our lives.
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Module 3 – 8
The other idea that goes with our freedom to choose is this, and I’m going to shout it out:
You have no control over other people’s reaction or behaviour toward you. You only have power over what you choose to believe, feel, perceive and do. It’s very liberating to ‘get’ this. If this is the only thing that you take away and decide to use from Life Dreaming then I will live and die a happy woman.
Links to Relevant Life Dreaming Posts
Why I’m Loving What If?
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Module 3 – 9
Fairies (AWA) Contrary to popular belief my Fairies are not sweet dainty winged things who wear pink a lot. The fairies might have started that way when I was a kid, but I’ve transformed them over the last 30 years. My Fairies are more like Amazons with Attitude [AWA]. Most people’s Fairies/AWA are Shy & Retiring and small. They try and talk to us about our beauty and power and potential; encourage us to have adventures, speak our truths and delight in our lives; but their voices are too quiet and they are often either drowned out by the Goblins or eaten by them.
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Module 3 – 21
Now finish this sentence. If I had a strong belief in myself I would ‌.
Shrink those Goblins down to size and give the Fairies/AWA room to speak and grow. You might like to write some of the Fairy/AWA stuff on cards/paper and keep it handy in your purse. Update it as you go along. Sometimes just the process of writing things down helps.
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Module 3 – 28
When you are personally powerful you: When you give away your personal power you: k Define your own values k Ask a lot of questions that often only you can answer k Make choices and decisions k Create the life you want k Accept the consequences of your actions k Accept responsibility for your life
k Allow others to make your life choices and decisions k Never question k Live a life defined by others k Give away responsibility for your life k Take whatever rewards that life provides
k Enjoy the rewards of choosing your life
There are Payoffs (rewards) and Pain in both options. Life Dreaming Online
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Module 4 – 17
Activity 1
Shine Your Light – You’re just Too Much In my life I made decisions [conscious and unconscious] about how brightly I wanted to shine my light. Shining Your Light is about being truly yourself ~ authentic, powerful and resourceful with a strong belief in your capacity to live a great life, however you define it. And that’s bloody scary. You will find that these ideas link very clearly to the work you did in Module 3 Chapter 2 on Words Have Power. Children naturally shine their lights ~ they are as bright as stars and beam like light houses, until someone starts telling them to: • Calm down • Conform • Behave • Quiet down
Is your light a Light House or a tea light?
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Module 4 – 18
I was lucky to have parents who let me shine my light, which sometimes made me the odd one out in the crowd. We also moved around a lot, so I learnt not to really want to fit in. I began to turn my light down in certain areas of my life in my 20s when people I loved and respected said I was Too Much. I was Too: • • • • • •
Enthusiastic Much of a risk taker Full of ideas Idealistic Unrealistic Trusting
And then someone I loved very much told me that maybe I should tone myself down a bit as men might find me a little too: • • •
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Independent Strong Opinionated
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For a while I really thought that I was Too Much and that was why crappy things happened in my relationships. Then I realised that crap happens whether your Light is Shining or not, so I chose to be Too Much and Shine my Light. Owning my own power, being enthusiastic and believing I can make things happen for myself and the communities I have worked in has become a self fulfilling prophecy. I really believed I could make things happen with the help of other people, and they did, so I dreamt some more and made that happen. And now I’m in my 50s I intend to shine so brightly that the sun will feel a tad jealous. I also choose to be Too Much until the day I die and then I hope it’s from an overload of Too Much!
Module 4 – 19
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Module 5 – 15
Think about all the options that are open to you in your life...
Write all things that you don’t want to do or be in this life and have some fun with this.
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Module 5 – 22
Also, were there dreams you had when you were young that just aren’t possible for a range of reasons? I’ll never be an Olympic swimmer and that was one of my dreams when I was 14 and swimming 2 miles a day. What I can do is enjoy the swimming I already do and when I move back to Oz I’m going to join the Masters swimming and aim to swim in competitions. Who knows, I may represent Australia one day.
How liberating did that feel? Now you can be clear about those things and say NO and focus on the things you do want to do and be.
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Module 5 – 23
1. Have a look at your fabulous Life Dreaming Idea Map 2. Get a coloured pen and draw some arrows between dreams/activities that look like they might be Either/Or 3. Now get another coloured pen and write between the arrow … AND 4. Link dreams that are definitely ANDs 5. Great work. You’ll come back to this in Module 6
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Module 5 – 27
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Module 5 – 34
I created this montage in 2000 when I gave myself a weekend Life Dreaming retreat in my apartment. 2000 was a really tough year for me on pretty much every level, so these 2 days were an oasis and a focus for my life. I had created the Life Dreaming Musing Cards and written them in coloured [and yes, sometimes sparkling] pens on separate cards. I randomly picked cards and chose the ones that spoke to me on a heart, mind and intuition level. I did the Letter from your 8o year old self and quite a few others. I also took time to sleep, relax, make lovely food and really nurture and cosset all aspects of myself. I created the montage you can see in the picture. It’s part of the Life Dreaming Scrapbook that I created over that weekend. Taking that time was the best thing I had done for myself in a long time and it set the foundation for a lot of major choices I made over the next few years
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Module 6 – 25
Look at your Life Dreaming Idea Map and pick out the dreams that mean the most to you. Find images that show that dream and/or the feelings you have for the dream. You can draw and colour as well. You can go online and Google images, print them off and stick them on your Montage. You could add words and quotes to the montage, things you’ve written so far that mean a lot to you and some of the positive self talk and beliefs that you’ve created. You could add photos that you have in your home. Or, go for a walk and pick up items you’re like to add to it. The montage can be on a huge piece of paper or you might like to create a book with each page a different dream, or decorate a box as a 3D Dream Box.
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Module 6 – 27
Here’s an example of how I play with AND in my life”
The recession in Ireland has deeply affected my core consulting business and contracts have been very hard to come by … cash is low. I asked myself:
‘How can I be cash poor AND live a rich life?’ That question opened amazing potentials because I didn’t define myself as either Poor or Rich. I defined myself as cash poor AND time rich. I began to barter and skill share and simplify my life. I had the time to work on this Life Dreaming Expedition and do some dreaming of my own.
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Module 6 – 31
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Module 7 – 1
Action Planning Sheets Medium-Term Dream:
Key Actions
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Months 1-4
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Months 5 - 8
Months 9-12
What I Have (Opportunities) Internal External
What I need (Challenges) Internal External
Module 7 – 27
What were you hearing as you did these activities?
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Module 7 – 37
Yearly Diary January
July
February
August
March
September
April
October
May
November
June
December
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Module 7 – 40
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Module 7 – 50
Activity 2
REAP - Reward for Efforts, Action & Planning I’m famous [nay infamous] for a saying I use with everyone I’ve worked with over 25 years:
I believe in rewards before, during & after every effort. Yup, you can see I’m not really a delayed gratification girl. That’s why I bring chocolates to all the groups I’m with and they LOVE it. They LOVE the chocs not me and the chocs are about reward before, during etc. It’s about being playful and not always rewarding at the end of something. Rewards are a form of recognition and can take any number of forms: • An inner glow of satisfaction and power • Small and low priced activities such as a bubble bath; walk with the dog; visit to a gallery etc • The odd bottle of bubbly [my fave!] or a beautiful meal • A full blown celebration with family and friends • Many, many other kinds of rewards Some people believe that actions are their own rewards, and that’s fab. They don’t need to share my chocs and bubbles! I see rewards as a visible form of caring for myself and recognising that owning my own power, dreaming my dreams and making them real can be a lot of pain and pleasure. Rewards are the icing on the cake, the pop in the cork and the great big smile on my face when I finish creating this module! I wrote a post that covers some of this and I invite you to pop over for a read. It’s vital that you build in rewards and care for yourself in this mad life we live.
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Module 8 – 10
Rewards For All My Efforts How would I like to recognise my efforts?
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Any specific recognition for specific progress points?
Module 8 – 11
Activity 3
Who’s Your Cheer Squad? In my 20s I tried doing a lot of things alone and nearly broke myself in the process. We’re all allowed to ask for help and support and I do it whenever I can. The support, encouragement and help that I receive from people when I ask never ceases to astound me. In a world that can look bleak and dark, I take great consolation in the generosity of others. If you don’t ask you don’t get. And even if someone says NO then at least you know you did your best by asking. Support can come in many shapes and guises: • Someone who provides expert skills • People who just celebrate who you are through shit and sunshine • People you can work with to make something happen. This has become one of my favourite things in the world [after bubbles!]. Life Dreaming wouldn’t exist globally without the vision, patience and sheer creative genius of my brother Marc • People who listen and don’t judge as you unfold a fragile new dream and idea. They’re the ones who gently ask questions that make your dream even better • People who will go off and seek information for you. I love doing online research for friends • People who know other people and are happy to connect you to them • People who will fund your dream with time, money, skills, buildings and a pile of other resources • People who will celebrate with you and be there when you need a shoulder to cry/moan/ vent on • People who just flat out love you and provide a safe and secure place of love where you can rest and reenergize • People who will challenge you to not give up your dream and to GOYA
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Module 8 – 14
• Take a look at the activity sheets on the next two pages • Have a look at your Life Dreaming Action Plan and list who would be your cheer squad for specific dreams AND for a pile of dreams • You may already have listed people’s names in the External Resources columns. Take them out now and list them • Remember that we can never expect one or two people to be our cheer squad for everything • Are there people you need and don’t yet know? Write down who they are and how you will get them on board. Remember 5 degrees of separation? One of your friends may know someone who knows someone etc. I also ask on my Facebook page for help and support • If you really want to push the boat out then why not send a nice card to some of your cheer squad and thank them in advance for helping you achieve a dream/s and ask them for their support • If you want to be super brave then why not ring your cheer squad now and talk to them. And/ or invite them around for a celebration of all the amazing Life Dreaming work you’ve been doing and share some it with them. They will have ideas, contacts, connections and their own inner and external resources they may want to share with you • Imagine people helping and supporting you
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Module 8 – 15
My Cheer Squad Looking at my Life Dreaming plan, these people could be my Cheer Squad for special dreams:
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Module 8 – 16
Are there people I need and don’t know them yet? Which dream?
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Why do I need them?
Who might link me to them?
Module 8 – 17
These pages are tiny snippets taken from the Life Dreaming Expedition, a beautiful and very practical step by step process that helps you discover what’s truly important in your life right now and how to map a path to your dreams. The Life Dreaming Expedition contains d 8 modules and over 350 pages of worksheets and tools d videos and mp3s d dozens of templates and tables d whimsical activities that make planning fun d thought provoking and indepth conversation about each stage of life planning
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE
deciding whatin your’s importlife arintght now Life Dreaming