Elegant Impressions December 2012 by Amy Oren

Elegant Impressions

Kislev 5773 December 2012

Volume I, Issue X

Hayim Shaal

Bake Sale & Chinese Auction

In Tribute to the 10th Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moshe Simantov December 5th & 6th, 2012 At the Home of Marco and Tammy Scaba 2224 Quentin Road (corner East 23rd)

December 5th Wednesday 8:30 PM

Rabbi Meyer Yedid Shlita “Finding your Soul Mate”

Open Forum Questions and Answers for Singles and Parents

December 6th Thursday 1:00 PM

Sophia Simantov “Tips for Life”

From the Memoirs of Rabbi Moshe Simantov

8:30 PM

For information or to sponsor, call: Sophia Simantov 917.385.8758 Paulette Simantov 718.607.0384 Bakers Needed, Call: Shaindy 347.874.4097 Tammy 718.339.6899/646.823.8737 2 Judy Shacalo 646.206.7634

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Inside

Frosted Chanukah Table 6 DIY Chanukah Table 8 Whimsical Turquoise & Violet Chanukah Table 10 Dreidels & Daily Miracles 12 Kitchen Tips 18 Tuscan Chickpea Soup with Mozzarella 20 Potato, Squash, & Goat Cheese Gratin 21 Spiced Butternut Squash Soup 22 Tuscan Bean Soup 24 Panko Mozzarella Sticks 25 Onion, Mushroom, & Thyme Tart 26 Garden Tomato Basil Soup 27 Cinnamon Apple Crunch Pie 28 Sufganiyot 30 Cold Weather Safety Tips for Kids 32 5 Tips for Getting Any Job Done 34 Nutrition and Fertility 36 Creative Gift Wrap 38 Real Power, Shifting Perspective 40 Home Humidifiers 44 GPS! Navigation For Your Soul 46 Missed an issue?

Read them all online at ElegantImpressions.com

Contact info@elegantimpressions.com 917-830-4262 Editor In Chief Amy Oren Editor Jacob Mograby Contributing Writers Debbie Aharon Leah Benguigui Avi Fishoff Robin Haddad Dr. Dovid Lieberman Karen Moreno Margalit Romano Rabbi Dr. Eliyahu Safran Rabbi Yaakov Shain Creative Design Amy Oren Photography Maggie Mograby Ad Sales Judy Betesh Barbra Panigel Sharona Silva Steven Sorscher Published By Elegant Impressions Elegant Impressions is a monthly publication. Subscriptions are $29.95 for 6 issues. Call 917-830-4262 for more information. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written consent from the publisher is prohibited. Elegant Impressions Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the magazine. Elegant Impressions is not responsible for typographical errors. Readers should always verify kashrut status independently.

Frosted Chanukah This glamorous winter white dessert table is perfect for elegant Chanukah entertaining. Floating candles in tall vases adorned with gardenia flowers create a stunning menorah backdrop, and the feather plumes create a luxuriously dramatic effect. Crystal embellishments add sparkle to cold winter months, as well as sugar rimmed glasses and cupcakes sprinkled with edible pearls. Chocolate mousse in coffee mugs are just what we need to warm us up, and meringue kissed puddings are the kind of frosty snow everyone loves.

Styling by Kristine Shin Designs Photography by Sean Lee Photography

DIY Chanukah

Printables & Table Styling Paula Biggs Frog Prince Paperie

Serve up Chanukah treats with these printables designed by Frog Prince Paperie. So many decorative ways to display Chanukah chocolate gelt and other goodies! Dreidel boxes, milk carton boxes (different designs for each night of Chanukah), cupcake wrappers, doughnut & cupcake toppers, labels and more! For a small fee you can purchase the downloadable files for these designs, print them on your home printer, cut, assemble, and serve! Kids will love to help with this project as well!

Get these printables at FrogPrincePaperie.com

Whimsical

Turquoise

Violet

Chanukah Dessert Table

This impressive Chanukah dessert table features a glittered swirl backdrop- both glitzy and fun. Decorated cookies hanging on the glasses of milk add a sweet touch- to achieve this look simply cut a slit in your cookie dough shapes before baking. Glittered dessert cups and toppers add even more sparkle. The look is complete with desserts and candy coordinating in peacock shades.

Table Styled by Breezy Schwartz Photography Heidi Schwartz To recreate this look, visit Breezyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. They have all the supplies to you need, including the chocolate, molds, frosting tips, fondant, etc. Breezyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 572 Central Avenue Cedarhurst, NY 11516 516-374-1544

Dreidels and Daily Miracles What a Modest, Spinning Top Can Teach Us About the Miracles in Our Lives By Rabbi Eliyahu Safran …ve’al nisecha sh’bechol yom imanu… …for all Your miracles we receive each day…

- from the Shemone Esrei

What does it take to experience a miracle? Nothing more than to live a life with eyes wide open. The truth is, we live in an age of miracles and wonder. Does that sound like a ridiculous statement to you – to characterize the age of the Internet, gene therapy, and biological science as an age of miracles? For many people, the idea of “miracles” comes straight from the Medieval Age. They view miracles as fantasy and “anti-science.” Yet, I assure you that Judaism has the greatest regard for science. Science and miracles both true? Absolutely. As Tamar Sofer wrote in a recent blog, “My husband, a laser physicist, tells me that scientists who study particle physics are more likely to become religious. Scientists are notoriously hard to convince of anything. Yet, when these skeptical scientists see the perfect, natural order of the world, they decide nano and up, that this world was planned. The marvelous design before them becomes the miracle they need to become convinced.” Indeed, it is quite often those scientists who study natural law in its greatest complexity and detail who appreciate miracles the most. The laws of science and nature guide our world. And miracles happen all the time. A contradiction? Not at all. The “rub”, as Hamlet might have suggested, is with how we define a “miracle”. A miracle is anything that “should not” happen in the logical, rational normal course of events. A miracle need not be fantastical. If

we limit the things that constitute “miracles” to the “earth standing still” or events that run contrary to physical law, then we not only tarnish the laws that God has established for the physical world but we blind ourselves to the very real miracles that play out in our lives everyday. Over three hundred years ago King Louis XIV of France asked Pascal, the great philosopher of his day, to give him proof of the existence of miracles. Without hesitation, Pascal answered, “Why, the Jews, your Majesty. The Jews.” History does not tell us the king’s reaction to this proof, but we do know exactly what Pascal meant by his answer because he explained it clearly in his masterwork, Pensees. In that work, he states that the fact that the Jewish people had survived even to his day was proof enough for him that miracles occur. After all, what rational explanation existed to make sense of our continued presence upon the world’s stage? A more modern historian, Arnold Toynbee, wrote a ten volume encyclopedia of human history. In the course of those many volumes the one thing that contradicted his “universal” rules that govern the inexorable decline of every people on earth was the continued flourishing of the Jewish people. Only the Jews. Despite history’s the brutal attempts to destroy us, we have managed to defy all predictions and logical expectation of our demise. Miraculous.

History is littered with the powerful empires that worked mightily to ensure our demise – from the Akkadians to the Babylonians to the Persians to the Third Reich. Jewish history – indeed, Jewish existence – defies rational explanation. We are a miracle. The miraculous is so essential to who we are that David Ben Gurion, the first Prime Minister of the State of Israel, said, “A Jew who does not believe in miracles is not a realist.” *** The most dramatic threats to our existence have come from external forces; the more subtle and damaging arise from within the Jewish community. Jews too often embrace cultural norms that would diminish the uniqueness of Jewish life, as when we clamored to assimilate into Hellenistic culture during the early years of the Hellenistic Empire. It was only the “miracle” of Chanukah – and by that I mean a good deal more than the oil lasting a full eight days – that once again allowed us to survive as a dedicated people. During the time of Antiochus, our prayer and repentance were not sincere. The people had assimilated. They were “as the Greeks” and so, in the beginning it was a mere

handful of Hasmoneans leading the charge while most of our people failed to demonstrate the inspiration from below to earn God’s abundant blessing from above. And yet God showered us with miracles. Despite the people’s lack of faith, He provided us, mercifully, with inspiration from above. His inspiration was undeserved – which made it all the more miraculous! And so, the specific miracles arrived and we emerged victorious victors; we re-dedicated the grand Temple and lit a miraculously burning oil. On Chanukah we spin dreidels upon which are inscribed the first letters of the words, “neis gadol ha’yah sham” – a great miracle happened there. (In Israel the letters on the dreidels spell out “neis gadol ha’yah po” – a great miracle happened here!) We rejoice with our dreidels, but we spin them specifically from their top part to constantly remind ourselves that Chanukah was a time when miracles came undeserved from God, when the Almighty bestowed His infinite compassion upon His people and things began to

All the dreidels featured in these pages are from Rabbi Safran’s astounding dreidel collection. One of the loveliest and largest private dreidel collections in the world, it includes over a thousand dreidels from a vast array of countries, in every size, shape and material.

spin down to us in the form of undeniable miracles. How surprising that the dreidel, silly top, should carry such weight – not only a theological truth and a statement about the role of the Jewish people in the miracle of Chanukah, but also insight and knowledge into powerful historical dynamics. The Kabbalah, the compendium of Jewish mystical teachings, teaches us another aspect of the dreidel. In this understanding, the four letters do not represent a statement about God’s presence in the world – a great miracle happened there/here – but rather they each represent one of four different historical empires – Babylonian, Persian, Greek and Roman – that tried to destroy the Jewish people. Four empires the likes of which the world had never seen. And the Jewish people? A relatively puny gathering of people dedicated to study and the performance of God’s command. Is it any wonder that, when given the opportunity, we seek to assimilate and become part of these “great” cultures and empires? But something always holds us back. Internally and externally, we are different. We are “like” but not the same. So, against this backdrop of world history, are we simply spinning haphazardly from one tragedy to another? Or might there be some reason and meaning behind all the events that have punctuated our history? Our miraculous victory at Hanukkah teaches us little about military strategy and everything about ourselves and the world, but about God as well. Without God, there are no miracles. Which brings me to our modest little dreidel. In its modesty, it teaches us a great deal about God. Just as the dreidel spins around a central point and topples when it begins to lose its connection to that point, so too do we begin to “lose our footing” when we begin to lose our connection to our center, to God.

Photography by Shimon Gifter 14

The dreidel teaches us about our own psychologies. We are only “whole” when all the aspects of our being – body, mind, soul… hakol – are balanced and blended. When the dreidel spins, who can distinguish between each of the individual sides? No one! As we spin in perfect balance, on our central point, we are balanced and whole. Spin, spin, spin. When we face times of hardship and tragedy, the dreidel teaches us first and foremost that God is our God and we are His people. And if we believe in that ultimate meaning of the Jewish people; if we know that despite the dizzying blur of events in our history there is some purpose to the challenges we face, and if we are prepared to fight to remain Jews regardless of what history throws at us, then who knows – we might just experience a miracle and be reassured that there is a hidden hand guiding the destiny of the Jewish people. And yet… and yet… this sense of miracle is so mighty as to cause us to overlook the small miracles, the delightful miracles, that occur each and every day. Which brings us, once again, to the simple and fun little dreidel. Amy Twain blogs that, just like our little dreidel, miracles “…come in different and various sizes, some large and some small, but they are still miracles. Consequently, a miracle is not only some unexplained, supernatural circumstance. They could actually originate from you and me. Don’t you think that any miracle can happen when you decide to finally volunteer your time to the local library? Be kinder or nicer to your spouse? Give some money to the beggar and spend some more quality time with your beloved children? Visit an elderly and lonely neighbor? How about giving a warm smile to a stranger? A miracle can also occur whenever a person hears his call of her or his life, pays attention to and acts on it.” My growing, personal collection of dreidels not only keeps my sense of wonder and delight fresh and young but is a constant reminder of the small miracles of life. Every day, I see God’s miracles – in a mother’s kiss, a grandmother’s doting smile, a father’s proud expression. I see a community caring for itself and for others. The world is filled with miracles great and small and, as Tamar Sofer suggests, “you do not have to be a particle physicist to see miracles.” Not at all. Miracles are part of the Jewish world and experience. From Sinai and the splitting of the Red Sea, miracles are part of our national history. Our “…national memory helps Jews believe in miracles, and develop a stronger relationship with God.” And so we spin, spin, spin delightfully in the world, aware of the miracles large and small which give our lives meaning, none greater than that God has reached out to us and made us His special people.

Rabbi Dr. Eliyahu Safran serves as OU Kosher’s vice president of communications and marketing. A full analysis of The Dreidel – The Miracle in Our Lives is included in his Meditations at Sixty – One Person, Under God, Indivisible. KTAV Publishing 2008.

Tips from Your Kitchen Companion By Robin Haddad

Misting Phyllo Dough Instead of using a pastry brush to spread your melted butter, use a clean spray bottle (one that is not used for anything except food prep) for phyllo dough recipes. Pour melted butter into the bottle, adjust the sprayer to mist and spritz the butter on each layer. It’s less messy and actually uses less butter. You can also substitute oil if you are trying to watch that waistline.

Cookie Compress When a cookie recipe instructs to flatten the dough with a fork or the bottom of a flour dipped glass, use this quick no-mess method instead: Cover the dough balls with plastic wrap and flatten each with a small glass. This way they don’t stick and there is no need to keep dipping the glass in flour.

Better Breakfast Out of milk? Want to make some french toast? No problem. Substitute with ice cream! Yup, ice cream blended with two eggs works great. Any flavor can be used, pick your favorite. Salt Saver Some recipes are just too salty! Instead of adding all the salt at once, place the amount that the recipe calls for in a small dish and add it gradually, tasting as you go. Perfect seasoning every time!

Instant Juicer If you don’t have a citrus reamer, use one of the beaters of your hand mixer. It is the perfect shape and size to fit lemons, limes or an orange half, and it extracts all the juice from the fruit.

Pretty Pie Topper Whenever we make a pie, there are always scraps left over after trimming the edges. Gather up these pieces and form them into a disk, then freeze. The next time you make a pie, let the frozen dough thaw a little, then grate it with a box grater over the top of the pie. Its an easy way to make a top crust, plus it gives an interesting textured look.

Good Grip Gripping an onion is really challenging when slicing. A corn cob holder stuck into the root end is a good gripping handle, making it easy to slice all the way to the end.

Skinning the Bird We all love crunchy chicken, but not the skin. Use kitchen shears to cut through chicken skin, then use paper towel to pull off the skin.

Egg-cellent Fix Dropping an egg on the floor can be a nightmare to pick up. No More! Douse the egg with salt, which will solidify it. Then just scoop the whole mess up - no more chasing the egg around the floor!

Tasty Tea Ever make a cup of tea and find that it’s too hot to drink? Throw in a couple of frozen blueberries or cherries. It will cool the tea just enough to safely drink and add a hint of fruit flavor.

Robin Haddad is a self-proclaimed “Jack Of All Trades”. She enjoys cooking and creating new recipes. Robin had owned and operated a hair and wig business for 25 years, before becoming a registered nurse. Currently, she is raising her family and working with private patients.

Tuscan Chickpea Soup with Melting Mozzarella and Rosemary Gremolata

•4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil •8 cloves garlic, peeled •4 large carrots, peeled and chopped in two-inch pieces •2 stalks celery, chopped in two-inch pieces •2 medium onions, peeled and cut in quarters •2 cans chickpeas (15 ounces) drained •2 teaspoons sea salt •freshly ground black pepper •8 cups vegetable broth, more if needed to thin •2 28-ounce cans canned tomatoes •4 4-inch sprigs fresh rosemary •2 bay leaves •¼ cup fresh basil, packed •4 ounces fresh mozzarella

Recipe & Photography Chris Scheuer The Cafe Sucre Farine Ingredients for the gremolata: •1 tablespoon finely minced rosemary •1 tablespoon finely minced parsley •zest of 1 lemon •1 clove garlic, finely minced •a pinch of crushed red pepper

Preheat oven to 400°F. Place first 7 ingredients on a large rimmed baking sheet. Toss to coat all veggies with oil. Sprinkle liberally with freshly ground black pepper. Roast for 30 minutes, or until chickpeas and vegetables are beginning to turn golden and caramelize. Stir every 10 minutes during roasting time. While vegetables are roasting, combine chicken broth, tomatoes, rosemary and bay leaves in a large dutch oven or stock pot. Bring to a simmer. Add veggies when they are finished roasting. Simmer over low heat for 45 minutes. Vegetables should all be super tender. Remove from heat, pull out rosemary stems and bay leaves. Add fresh basil. Puree with either a stick blender, a traditional blender or a food processor. If using a traditional blender or food processor, allow soup to cool down before blending. If soup is too thick, add a bit more chicken broth to thin to desired consistency. For the gremolata combine the rosemary, parsley, lemon zest, crushed red pepper and garlic in a small bowl. Ladle hot soup in to bowls. Break mozzarella into small pieces (about the size of a cherry). Working with two or three at a time, place pieces of cheese on a small plate at microwave on power level 5 for about 10 seconds or just until cheese is beginning to soften. Pick up one piece of cheese, stretch it out a bit and lay it in a circular pattern on top of soup. Sprinkle with gremolata (herb mixture) and a bit of freshly ground black pepper. Repeat with other servings of soup, warming more cheese as needed. Enjoy! 8-10 main course servings

Recipe & Photography TheKitchn

Potato, Squash, & Goat Cheese Gratin

•2 medium yellow squash, about 1/2 pound •4 small to medium red potatoes, about 1 pound •3 tablespoons olive oil •4 ounces goat cheese •Salt and freshly ground black pepper •1/4 cup whole milk •1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese •1 tablespoon thinly sliced basil or thyme leaves Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly grease a 1 1/2 to 2-quart casserole dish with a drizzle of olive oil. Use a mandoline or chef’s knife to slice the squash and potatoes into very thin slices, 1/8-inch or less. Toss the sliced vegetables with the 3 tablespoons olive oil in a large bowl. Place 1/3 of the squash and potato slices in the bottom of the dish — no need to layer them squash-potato-squash; just spread evenly — then season with salt and pepper. Top with half of the goat cheese, scattered evenly in large chunks. Repeat with another 1/3 of the vegetables, seasoning again with salt and pepper and topping with the other 1/2 of the goat cheese. Finish by layering on the final 1/3 of the vegetables and seasoning with salt and pepper. Pour the milk over the entire dish. Top with the Parmesan cheese. Bake, covered, for 30 minutes, then uncover and bake 15 more minutes, until the top browns. Scatter on the fresh basil, if using. Serves 6

Spiced Butternut Squash Soup

Recipe & Photography Lynda Balslev TasteFood •1 small butternut squash, about 2 pounds •3 cups chicken stock •Extra-virgin olive oil •1 cup apple cider •1 large onion, finely chopped •2 teaspoons brown sugar •1 large Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored, diced •1 to 2 teaspoons salt, to taste •2 teaspoons cumin •1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper •1 teaspoon coriander •Fresh chopped cilantro or parsley leaves for garnish. •1/2 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste Preheat oven to 375 ° F. Cut squash in half, lengthwise. Scoop out seeds. Lightly brush the exposed flesh with olive oil. Place, cut-side-down, on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake until squash is fork tender, about 50 minutes. Remove from oven. When cool enough to handle, scoop out the flesh and set aside. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add onions and cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 minutes. Add apple, cumin, coriander and cayenne. Cook, stirring until fragrant, 1 minute. Add squash and chicken stock. (There should be just enough stock to cover the squash and apples. Add additional stock as necessary). Simmer, covered, until apples are very soft, about 20 minutes. Carefully puree soup in batches in a food processor (or with an immersion blender). Return to pot. The soup should be thick. Thin it to desired consistency with apple cider. Stir in brown sugar, salt and pepper. Heat over medium-low heat and taste for seasoning. Serve warm with fresh cilantro leaves. Roasting the squash coaxes out its natural sugars and gives the best flavor to the soup. Serves 4 to 6.

Recipe & Photography Susan Pridmore The Wimpy Vegetarian

Tuscan Bean Soup • 1 ½ tablespoon olive oil • 1 cup chopped celery (about 3 stalks) • 1 large leek, sliced in half, then crosswise into short ribbons • 2 cups chopped yellow onion (1 medium-large onion) • ½ cup chopped carrot • ¾ teaspoon dried thyme • 1 ¼ teaspoon kosher salt (or to taste) • ½ teaspoon dried rosemary

• 2 tablespoons harissa • 2 cups cooked white beans (Navy or Cannellini) • 24 ounces vegetable broth, divided • ¾ cup crushed tomatoes • 2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar • ½ - 1 teaspoon lemon juice (to taste) • Parmesan cheese (optional) • Rosemary Olive Oil (optional)

Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a pot large enough to accommodate a large pot of soup. Add the celery, leeks, onion, carrots, salt, and dried herbs. Sauté until the carrot is slightly softened, and the onions are starting to stick to the bottom of the pan. The mixture should be very fragrant. Use a wooden spoon to form a well in the middle of the vegetables, revealing about 3 inches of the pot. Place the harissa on the pot surface and stir for 1 minute. It should start to become paste-like. Mix into the rest of the vegetables. Add the cooked beans, 16 ounces of the broth, the tomatoes and the balsamic vinegar. Simmer for 10 minutes. Using a submersible blender, whirl the soup around for about 1 minute to slightly puree. If you don’t have one, just transfer one cup of the soup to a blender or food processor and purée. Stir it back into the soup in the pot. Stir in the last eight ounces of broth, or more if desired. Add a little lemon juice, to taste, to sharpen the flavors. Serve with grated Parmesan cheese and Rosemary Olive Oil.

•16 sticks of mozzarella string cheese •½ cup all purpose flour •2 large eggs, beaten •¼ cup whole milk •2 cups Japanese Panko bread crumbs •1 tsp garlic powder •1 tsp onion powder •1 tsp fresh black pepper •1 Tb dried oregano flakes •oil for frying •Marinara sauce for dipping

Panko Mozzarella Sticks

Recipe & Photography Amy Dong Chew Out Loud

Place flour in a small dish. In another bowl, mix together the eggs and milk. In a third bowl, combine Panko bread crumbs with garlic powder, onion powder, pepper, and oregano. Cut mozzarella sticks into halves. Roll a piece of mozzarella in flour, dip into egg mixture, and roll well in Panko mixture. Press crumbs in place so mozzarella stick is fully coated. Continue until all pieces are well coated. Place coated mozzarella sticks on a wax-lined baking sheet and put in freezer for at least 30 minutes. (The flash-freezing is important in keeping cheese from falling apart in hot oil.) Pour oil to fill a third way up to halfway up in a heavy sauce pan. Using a thermometer, keep oil steady at 365F. Remove frozen mozzarella sticks and fry a few pieces at a time, keeping oil temp at 365° F throughout frying process. Fry about 25-30 seconds, turning sticks until they are an even golden brown, and drain on paper towels. Try not to let cheese leak, but a few tiny bubbles are fine. Continue until entire batch is made. Serve with your favorite marinara sauce and do eat these while hot!

Onion, Mushroom & Thyme Tart

Recipe & Photography Alice Choi Hip Foodie Mom

• 3 tablespoons olive oil • 2 large yellow onions, cut into thin half moons • 2-3 cups sliced mushrooms, try to use cremini or baby portobello mushrooms • 1 teaspoon salt • 5 to 7 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves stripped and chopped • 1-2 sheets frozen puff pastry, defrosted but kept cool Heat the olive oil in a large sauté pan over medium heat. Add the onions and stir continuously until softened, about 8 to 10 minutes. Sprinkle in the salt, add the sliced mushrooms and continue stirring until the onions release their moisture and the pan becomes more and more dry. When this happens, add half of the thyme and reduce the heat to medium low. Cook the veggies, stirring occasionally, until caramelized and golden, about 20 -25 minutes or so. (If the onions start to brown, reduce the heat as low as your stove goes.) Remove from the heat and set aside Preheat the oven to 350°F. Adjust the oven rack to the center position. Unfold the sheet/s of defrosted puff pastry on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Fold all the edges over to create the pretty border around your tart. Top the center of the rolled out puff pastry evenly with the onion, mushrooms, thyme mixture. Bake the tart for about 25 to 35 minutes, until the pastry is golden brown and flaky. Remove it from the oven, sprinkle the remaining thyme over the top, and let it cool for about 10 minutes before slicing and serving. Any leftover tart can be kept at room temperature, lightly covered with parchment. Best to crisp it in an oven or toaster oven prior to serving again.

Garden Tomato Basil Soup Recipe & Photography Season With Spice

• 6 ripe tomatoes, cut into chunks • 3 carrots – peeled and sliced into discs • 1 green or red bell pepper, cut into chunks • 1 yellow onion, cut into chunks • 5 cloves of garlic, halved • 6-8 fresh basil leaves • 2 cups vegetable broth • 2 tsp paprika • Dash of dried thyme • ½ tsp black pepper • Salt to taste • ½ cup milk • Dab of butter • Olive oil Add a few tablespoons of olive oil into a deep frying pan, and heat on high. When hot, toss in the garlic and onion and sauté until lightly browned. Then add in the carrot and sauté until lightly browned. Add in another tablespoon of olive oil, along with the bell pepper and tomatoes. Cook on medium fire until tomatoes are softened. Turn heat off and let cool while completing next step. In a large pot, combine the vegetable broth, paprika, thyme, and black pepper. Heat on low. Add the cooked veggies into a blender, along with the fresh basil leaves. Blend on low speed to desired texture. Add the blended mixture into the large pot, stir well with the broth, and cook on medium fire until soup thickens to desired texture. Then stir in butter and milk, add in more salt if needed, and cook a few more minutes. Serve hot, and garnish with shredded fresh basil leaves and freshly ground black pepper. Enjoy with a side of toast or a grilled cheese sandwich. Serves 2-3

Cinnamon Apple Crunch Pie

Recipe & Photography Tina Hu Just Putzing Around the Kitchen

Crust and Crumble Topping •1 cup sugar •1 tsp baking powder •3 cups all-purpose flour •1 tsp salt •1 tbsp lemon juice •2 sticks cold unsalted butter or margarine, cut into pieces •1 large egg

Apple Pie Filling •8 gala apples, peeled, cored and chopped into small pieces •2 tbsp lemon juice •1/3 cup sugar •1 tsp cinnamon •2 tbsp flour

Preheat the oven to 375° F. Lightly grease a pie dish. In a medium bowl, combine sugar, baking powder and flour. Mix in the salt and lemon juice, and stir together with a fork. Cut in the butter pieces and egg with a pastry blender until the largest chunks are about pea-sized. The mixture should be crumbly without much loose flour. Spread about half of the dough mixture in an even layer over the bottom of the prepared pan and press down firmly to form the bottom crust. Set aside. In another bowl, stir together sugar, lemon juice, and cinnamon. Add apple pieces and flour and toss to coat. Spread apple mixture evenly over the crust. Crumble the remaining dough over the top of the apple filling, and gently press down. Bake for about 45 minutes or until the top is slightly golden brown. Cool completely before slicing. Serve warm plain or with drizzles of caramel sauce.

Sufganiyot • 7 ½ cups flour • ½ cup sugar • 3 tbs. dry yeast • 2 ½ cup warm water • ½ cup oil • 2 tbs. rum • 1 tsp. vanilla • 3 eggs • oil for frying Mix together the yeast, 2 tablespoons of the sugar, and 1 cup of the water. Let sit to make sure it bubbles.

Combine all ingredients together and knead to form a dough. Let rise for 1 hour. Roll out the dough to a thickness of 1/4 inch. Cut circles out of with a juice glass, or any object about 2 inches in diameter. Let the dough circles rise for an additional ½ hour. Heat 2 inches of oil to about 375°. Drop the doughnuts into the hot oil and fry until golden brown, then flip the doughnuts to fry other side. Drain on paper towels. Inject your favorite filling (jelly, custard, chocolate) and powder tops of doughnuts with confectioner’s sugar.

Cold Weather Safety Tips For Kids When the temperature drops it’s important to take measures to help safeguard your children’s health and happiness. The season you either love — or love to hate — is in full swing. Whether you’re out and about with your family braving the elements, or getting cozy at home, don’t let cold-weather fun snowball into a safety hazard. Keep your kids protected with these tips.

so avoid snow tubes or disk-shaped sleds. If your little ones want to try skiing or snowboarding, consider getting lessons from an instructor. While out on the slopes, they should always wear helmets and gloves with built-in wrist guards, and be accompanied by an adult.

1. Maintain a sunny disposition. The season’s frigid temps shouldn’t fool you — snow reflects more than 75% of the sun’s damaging ultraviolet rays. Don’t stow away the sunscreen during winter; use it to protect kids’ faces before they go out to play.

6. Serve superior snacks. Good nutrition can help kids fight off cold and flu season, so strengthen their immune system with a balanced diet. Snack time is a great opportunity to sneak in some extra nutrients; try dried and fresh fruits, sliced raw vegetables, whole-wheat crackers with cheese, and yogurt.

2. Keep snug like a bug — but not too snug. Winter wear should fit kids properly, but gear shouldn’t be so tight that it restricts movement. This is particularly true for footwear. Tootight boots constrict blood flow, causing feet to become even colder. When sizing shoes, allow room for an extra pair of socks. 3. Be clever about clothing choices. When sending kids off to school or out to play, make sure they’re dressed warmly in layers that are wind- and waterproof. If possible, opt for wool instead of cotton. This durable and flexible material is an excellent insulator that will help keep kids dryer and warmer than cotton, which is quick to absorb water. Help your little ones stay warm with adequate head, face, hands, and neck protection. You can save time while getting your brood out the door by storing gloves and scarves inside hats. 4. Get around safe and sound. Driving in winter can be dangerous, so you should make sure you’re ready for any situation. Prepare your car for such emergencies by keeping the following must-haves in your trunk: a firstaid kit, blankets, shovel, rock salt, ice scraper, water, and nonperishable snacks. 5. Practice safety when playing winter sports. Always supervise your child’s winter activities. Ice skating should only be done on ice that has passed proper inspection. Sledding paths shouldn’t be too crowded or too close to roadways. The safest sleds are those that allow for steering,

7. Keep them hydrated. Although your kids may not be sweating as much as they do in warm-weather months, they still need to keep hydrated. Smart choices for winter are low-sugar juices that are high in vitamin C, which studies show can lessen the severity and duration of winter colds. Decaffeinated tea and hot cocoa are also wise picks — these comforting hot drinks are a great source of antioxidants, which are believed to strengthen the immune system. 8. Make your home a safe haven. Be prepared for unpredictable weather conditions by stocking up on essentials, such as extra batteries for flashlights, bottled water, first aid staples, and nonperishable food items. Safety kits can help protect your family in extreme situations. 9. Get your kids prepared. Make sure your kids have an extra pair of gloves and tissue packs tucked into their backpacks. These necessities will help prevent the spread of germs, and come in handy if a glove goes missing. 10. Heat your home safely. Before temperatures fall below freezing, make sure your home’s heating equipment and your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors function properly. If you own a space heater, keep it away from small children or, better yet, don’t use one at all. And don’t forget to discuss fire safety with your family each winter; the likelihood of indoor fires increases during the colder months, according to the National Fire Protection Association.

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Ready, Set, Go! Having What it Takes to Be a Winner By Leah Benguigui

5 Tips for Getting Any Job Done Feeling overwhelmed, or just not in the mood for homework, housework, or anything else? Here are five tips to help you get the job done so you can have more time for fun! Are you ready to get off that couch? Let’s go! Select an activity that you have been putting off, and gently push yourself in the direction of accomplishment. Start slowly. Celebrate your efforts, one small task at a time. You can do it!

Offer a Prayer

“Put everything in Hashem’s hand, you’ll see Hashem’s hand in everything.” Ask Hashem to help you succeed in what you’ve set out to do. In Tehillim it says: (’ak:’bl) “jl eplgi xy`k jicqg idi“ May Your kindness, Hashem, be upon us, just as we awaited you. Rav Samson Refael Hirsch explains that G-d always turns His loving kindness toward us in the same measure as we turn our hearts and minds to him.1 Trusting in Hashem and worrying less will give you the energy to accomplish more.

Visualize the Outcome

“Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” Picture the end result: the room clean or a thinner you, and hold that image in your mind’s eye. Imagine how it feels, look, smells, and tastes. Motivational consultants, Olympic coaches, sports trainers, as well as doctors, are realizing that “visualization”, the process of mentally producing pictures of a desired goal or result, is a crucial factor in the achievement of the goal. Researchers have discovered that both mental imagery and actions are products of the same motor program in the brain.2 So go ahead, and use your imagination!

make clean-up a game and homework a snap! The timer serves as a constant incentive, teasing you into attempting what you recently thought insurmountable. Once the timer is set and time starts ticking, it is as if a magical force is propelling you forward to get the job done. It’s also a great confidence booster as it proves your success as you overcome your challenge and meet your goal in record time!3

Divide and Conquer

“The energy to do something often comes once you are doing it.” Sometimes a task looms ahead and seems impossible, so how do you put your foot through the wall of stagnation? Break it down into smaller chucks of tasks, each of 15 minute intervals. Studies show that most people’s attention can be held for 15 minutes. A chore retagged as a 15 minute task is far more doable. You will then see that what you thought you couldn’t do, didn’t really take that long, and your aversion to the task will diminish considerably.4 Try this technique with kids who have a hard time focusing on homework or studying.

Reward Yourself

“Your joy is up to you, choose to experience it!” Hey, you did it! Savor the satisfaction by celebrating your accomplishment! Read something you haven’t had time for. Enjoy a piece of chocolate if you dare, or take a bubble bath! Take pride in what you’ve done, it will give you the encouragement and strength to strive for greater success next time! 1 Artscroll Tehillim, pg 66 2 The Brain That Changes Itself, Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science, Norman Doidge, MD, pg 208 3 Hakol Beseder, T. Hershkovitz, pg 8 4 Hakol Beseder, T. Hershkovitz, pg 15

Get a Timer

“Take a lesson from the clockit passes time by keeping its hands busy.” As any busy mother will tell you, TIME is one thing she can use more of. Here’s a way to “buy time”: set a timer to

After more than a decade in education, Leah Benguigui has chosen to further develop her creativity in her jewelry business, Gems by Leah Benguigui. She can be reached for appointments at 718-339-5659.

Nutrition & Fertility For Women & Men

By Karen Kattan Moreno, MS, RD, CDN

If you’re a female of childbearing age then I’m sure you have wondered which foods affect your fertility and what you can eat to make you more fertile. Your doctor may have told you to take a multivitamin or make sure you get enough folic acid. What you probably didn’t hear is that your husband, or men in general, can affect a fetus’s development as well. According to Dr. Victoria Maizes, Executive Director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine, what you’re exposed to during fetal development can affect your whole life. Because certain nutrients can affect a fetus early on, it’s important to pay attention to your nutrition before you get pregnant and to plan ahead. In addition, as women age, the foods they eat affect their fertility even more. Here are some top tips to look out for:

Healthy Weight

It’s important to get to a healthy weight pre-conception. Adding in exercise such as yoga to your routine can also help you reach a healthy weight and de-stress. Being obese and even underweight can interfere with your fertility, so aim to reach a healthy BMI of 19-24 before you start planning a family.

Carbohydrates and Sugar

Although your carbohydrate intake doesn’t affect your fertility the Glycemic Index (GI) of your diet can. GI measures the quality of carbohydrates and how they affect your blood sugar. Foods with a higher fiber and lower sugar content have a lower GI than foods with less fiber and more sugar. • Choose a Healthy Cereal- A high GI diet can increase your chance of infertility while a low GI diet can lower your risk. So where do you start? How about your choice of breakfast cereal. If the first three ingredients in your cereal are flour or sugar then you probably picked a high GI cereal which will increase your insulin. Instead, pick a cereal with a high fiber content and less than 6g of sugar per serving. A good choice is Kashi Go-Lean or Barbara’s Shredded Spoonfuls.

Protein

While following a high protein diet can decrease your chance of getting pregnant by 44%, increasing your vegetable protein intake, with foods such as beans, legumes, and nuts can decrease your chance of infertility by 22%. If you substitute only 5% of your animal protein with vegetable protein you can decrease your chance of infertility by 50% (if you’re over the age of 32). That’s amazing.

Fish

Eat up to 12 oz. of low mercury fish per week such as canned light tuna and wild salmon. Limit albacore white tuna to 6 oz. per week due to higher mercury levels. Higher levels of seafood intake during pregnancy have been linked with higher IQ’s in infants and children later on life. Log onto www.ewg.org/safefishlist for an up to date list of which fish are safest and lowest in mercury.

Trans Fat

It’s best to avoid Trans Fat and saturated fats as they are known to increase inflammation in the body. For every 2% increase in Trans Fat, there is a 73% increase in infertility . So the next time you’re about to pick up a bag of potato chips or muffins at your local bakery, read the label and make sure it says 100% Trans Fat Free.

Drinks

Drinking soda 2x a day can cause a 47% increase in infertility. If you’re trying to conceive- quit soda and drink water or seltzer instead. Alcohol can be consumed safely in moderation (<1 drink per day) if you aren’t pregnant already. While men should adhere to the same guidelines as above here are some more gender specific ones: One of the key problems with men is oxidative stress levels. This is usually linked to a high consumption of red meat, which increases inflammation. Men should focus on eating more antioxidant rich foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, and olive oil. Zinc is also important for male fertility- foods such as chicken, yogurt, nuts, beans, and whole grains are high in zinc and should be eaten often. A multi vitamin can also be beneficial for men to help them reach recommended levels of vitamins and antioxidants in their diets . • While obesity has also been shown to decrease sperm quality and fertility, obesity in fathers predicts obesity in pre-menarchal daughters. • BPA levels (found in cans, bottles, and plastic) can affect fertility however, if you stop using them they can be excreted from your body in as few as 3 days. For example, tomato canstomato’s high acidic content pulls BPA from can liners into the tomatoes and causes a decrease in sperm production. Instead, avoid canned foods and try to buy fresh ingredients or in glass containers whenever possible. Also replace plastic bottles with stainless steel bottles such as Klean Kanteen (which can be found online at www.kleankanteen.com). In addition, store leftovers in glass/ceramic containers like Pyrex and avoid using plastic whenever possible. You can also log on to www.treehugger.com to find a list of companies that are BPA-Free. Karen Moreno, MS, RD, CDN is a Registered Dietitian in private practice. She has offices in Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY. She just created her first healthy cookbook for sale.

Do you know whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in your Multivitamin? Taking a daily multivitamin is important in helping you meet all your daily nutrient needs. Women who took these supplements consistently 6-7x a week were at a 41% decreased risk of infertility and had a decreased risk of miscarriage and an easier time to conceive. Vitamin B12 and folate were also found to prevent obesity later on in life. Check your multi and make sure you are getting enough of these nutrients: *A separate Calcium/Vitamin D supplement may be needed if not enough is provided in your multi. Aim to get at least 1000mg calcium daily. Vitamin A: max 2500 IU as Vitamin A palmitate or acetate, or retinol palmitate. Up to 15,000 IU of beta carotene is allowable. Iron: 18 mg Iodine: 150 mcg Folic acid: 400 or more mcg Vitamin D: 1000 IU (Vitamin D3 preferable over D2) Vitamin E: mixed tocopherols are best Vitamin B12: 2.4 mcg Omega 3: 1000 mg EPA and DHA Trace minerals: small amounts of copper, zinc, magnesium, potassium, and calcium

Tutorial By Margalit Romano

Chanukah presents are more exciting to give and to receive when they are beautifully wrapped. Try these fun gift wrapping ideas!

Confetti Gift Wrap What you need:

Paper Flowers What you need:

Double stick tape or glue Confetti

Decorative paper or tissue paper Scissors Pen Tape or glue Rhinestone or decorative accent

Lay down double stick tape in a design or pattern. Sprinkle confetti over areas with tape. Press confetti down onto tape and pour excess off of gift box.

Woven Gift Wrap What you need: Ribbon or strips of paper Tape Start with laying the ribbon or paper strips in vertical direction; tape pieces to bottom of gift box. Weave in long horizontal strips and tape down to the bottom of the gift box.

Photography Maggie Mograby

Stack papers. Draw a heart on the top paper and cut out entire stack. (This trick ensures all hearts will be the same.) Fold heart in half and tape one side to gift box. Continue this arranging pieces in a flower shape. Attach rhinestone in center of flower for an extra decorative touch.

Margalit is an artist and professional crafter who uses nontraditional techniques and materials. She teaches art classes and writes a blog dedicated to DIY and the arts. To view more of her work visit AMaterialGirl.com 917-207-7649

Chapter 2

SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE By Dovid Lieberman, Ph.D. “All is foreseen, but freedom of choice is given.” (Ethics of the Fathers 3:19) Within human beings, three inner forces exist and are often at odds with each other: the body, the ego, and the soul. In short, the body wants to do what feels good; the ego wants to do what looks good7; and the soul wants to do what is good.8 When the alarm clock goes off in the morning, the three forces all battle it out.9 If we hit the snooze button, guess who won the first round? Doing what is easy or comfortable is a body drive. Examples of overindulgences of this force are overeating or oversleeping — in effect, doing or not doing something we know we should or should not do, merely because of how it feels. Basically, the body just wants to escape from it all.10 An ego drive can run the gamut from making a joke at someone else’s expense to buying a flashy car that is beyond our means. When we are motivated by ego, we do things that we believe project the right image of ourselves. These choices are not based on what is good, but on what makes us look good. If we cannot control ourselves and we succumb to immediate gratification or strive to keep up an image, then we become angry with ourselves, and feel empty inside. To compensate for these feelings of guilt and inadequacy, the ego engages

and we become egocentric. As a result, our perspective narrows, and we see more of the self and less of the world; this makes us increasingly more sensitive and unstable. We only gain self-esteem when we are able to make responsible choices, and do what is right, regardless of what we feel like doing or how it appears to others — this is a soul choice.11 In turn, we rise to a higher and healthier perspective, because self-esteem and the ego are inversely related; like a see-saw, when one goes up the other goes down. While our mood will inevitably fluctuate as a result of our circumstances, our emotional wellbeing remains largely immune from conditions and experiences of all types, positive and negative. Research indicates that big lottery winners often lead miserable lives after their windfall.12 A statistically uneven number of suicides, murders, drunk-driving arrests, divorces, even bankruptcies that befall “winners” have led to studies of a lottery curse.13 People find it difficult to comprehend why such misfortune follows those who suddenly become so fortunate.14 The reason is quite clear. Since self-esteem comes

7 The

ego is also called the yetzer hora, or evil inclination, and is identified with nefesh, the soul’s lowest level. When the ego is engaged, it deceives us in four primary ways: (1) It chooses that on which we focus; (2) it makes what we see all about us; (3) it concludes that all negative experiences are due to a deficiency within ourselves — albeit often unconsciously; (4) it causes us to believe that we can think our way out of a situation that is beyond our control. The soul’s influence is called the yetzer tov, our good inclination, or conscience. Kabbalah classifies four levels of the soul: nefesh, ruach, neshama, and neshama l’neshama. Nefesh is the animating principle of the physical body and the senses; ruach is the force vitalizing the emotions; neshama is the vitality of intellect; and neshama l’neshama (or chaya) is the essence of life of the human soul. However, these levels of the soul are often regarded as extensions of the essence of the soul (which may be considered a fifth level) called yechida. 8

9 From

the ensuing internal conflict, these forces combine to create free will. Specifically, free will is the moral component of each decision — the right and wrong. For example, whether or not you wiggle your right finger or left finger right now is not so much of a function of free will. Yes, it is a choice, but one that has no moral consequence. Free will is most easily found in the gap between what we know we should do and what we feel like doing. If we know that we should help a friend, but instead feel like watching TV, we experience a free will battle between the soul and the body. If we want to make a comment to impress one person at the expense of embarrassing another, we experience a battle between the ego and the soul. However, to walk over to an older lady and clunk her over the head with a brick is not a free will choice, because this is outside the scope of our reality. It is not really a choice we should need to make. We hope.

from making good choices, we (with instant money or fame) now have more ammunition for greater unconstructive behavior and indulgences.15 Logic therefore dictates that if we are in control of ourselves, and act responsibly, we can never be deeply bothered by anyone or anything. We are not a casualty of anything other than our own behavior, because nothing affects us; we affect everything.16 Choosing Our Reality Each circumstance is like a blank canvas until we paint the picture with our thoughts, which then give rise to our emotions.17 For instance, when a person acts rudely towards us, it doesn’t mean anything. It only tells us that the person does not like who he is; not that there is something wrong with us. This person’s words or deeds “cause” us to feel bad about ourselves because of our self-image. If a crazed person starts screaming at us, it is unlikely that we will be negatively affected by the encounter, but what about a close friend or colleague?18 We fear that the person in question no longer likes or respects us. Even if our fears are founded, what does his or her opinion really have to do with our self-worth? Nothing. We often, unconsciously, look to the situation to determine how personally we should take what is happening. For example, a car cuts us off on the road, and we are curious to see what the driver looks like. Why? Because we want to see if this is someone who looks like he would do such a thing to us on purpose. A little old lady sitting in the driver’s seat would not enrage us as much as a young male smoking a cigarette with music blaring from his car’s open windows. This is because most of us would assume that the old lady simply didn’t see our car while the young male did it to us on purpose.19

It is good to keep in mind that the more arrogant a person appears to be on the outside, the more vulnerable and helpless he is on the inside; and while we have a harder time connecting with the reckless driver because of his demeanor, we must recognize that our ego is the indicator of how well we see the reality beyond the façade.20 Another Angle Linguists recognize a sentence that is illogical if it is semantically incorrect. Consider the statement, “My friend forced me to have blue eyes.” No one would accept this sentence as truthful. However, we easily accept the declaration, “My friend makes me angry.” Both statements, though, are semantically identical, and according to linguists, structurally incorrect. A short-term therapy called, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) recognizes the need to identify such destructive patterns, because of their inherent tendency to pervade our subconscious thoughts. The creators of NLP offer the following overview as an aid, designed for therapists, to recognize

10 We

know that eating the entire container of ice cream will make us feel nauseous in about five minutes, yet we continue to dig in, knowing that we will soon regret our actions. Such is the lure of transitory delights. 11 This

doesn’t mean we should ignore our body’s basic needs. Nourishing the body and enjoying physical pleasure is absolutely in keeping with Judaism. Abuse or overindulgence, however, is not healthy, and leads to the deterioration of our wellbeing. 12 Brickman,

P., Coates, D.F., Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). “Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative?” Journal of Social and Personality Psychology 36, pp. 917–927. In this same study, researchers revealed that although people have strong emotional reactions to major changes in their lives, these reactions appear to subside more or less completely, and often quite quickly. After a period of adjustment, lottery winners are not much happier (and some are even quite miserable) when compared with a control group. Equally compelling is that recent paraplegics were themselves not much unhappier than the control group. The Torah offers an insight into this psychological phenomenon. “Again she [Leah] conceived and bore a son and declared, ‘This time I will thankfully praise Hashem’ “ (Genesis 29:35). The Talmud says: “From the time of creation there was no person who praised God until Leah came and thanked him upon the birth of Yehudah” (Berachot 7b). Certainly there were others who expressed appreciation to God, but none contained this unique quality. Rav

when this behavior is present: We have generalized the notion of semantic ill-formedness to include sentences such as: My husband makes me mad. The therapist can identify this sentence as having the form: Some person causes some person to have some emotion.

experiences which he could control.21

When the first person, the one doing the causing, is different from the person experiencing the anger, the sentence is said to be semantically ill-formed and unacceptable. The semantic ill-formedness of sentences of this type arises because, it, literally, is not possible for one human being to create an emotion in another human being — thus, we reject sentences of this form. Sentences of this type, in fact, identify situations in which one person does some act and a second person responds by feeling a certain way. The point here is that, although the two events occur one after another, there is no necessary connection between the act of one person and the response of the other. Therefore, sentences of this type identify a model in which the client assigns responsibility for his emotion; rather, the emotion is a response generated from the model in which the client takes no responsibility for

We must be abundantly clear on this point: the meaning we assign to a situation is based on how we feel about ourselves — and unless we feel differently about ourselves, which can only come through a change in behavior, 23 we cannot see the world differently. Our perspective is locked into place, unless we unlock it by making more effective choices.

We assume that an event is to blame for our feelings; this is not so. The senses take in stimuli which are then given meaning by one’s thinking. Unaware of the process, a person mistakenly equates these perceptions with reality. 22

Excerpted from Real Power. Copyright © 2012 by Dovid Lieberman, Ph.D. If you want to live with confidence and stop letting worry and fear ruin your life, then join the thousands who have read, REAL POWER: Rise Above Your Nature and Stop Feeling Angry, Anxious, or Insecure (Feldheim Publishers). Now in its third large printing and available in paperback for the first time!

Avraham Pam explains that when one achieves a happy milestone in life, such as marriage, a newborn child or a financial achievement, one’s heart overflows with joy and gratitude. Yet, as time passes one gets used to the good fortune and the joy begins to dissipate. Knowing this as well, Leah named this fourth son Judah, a derivation of the Hebrew word hoda’ah, meaning “praise.” This way she would always remember to thank God for her blessings. 13 “Since you are eating and satiating yourself, be careful lest you turn away from God, for one tends to turn away from God when he is sated” (Rashi, Deuteronomy 11:16, from Sifri 43). See also Deuteronomy 8:12–14. Moses foretold the future and warned the Jews that they would “become fat . . . and . . . desert God . . .” (Deuteronomy 32:15). 14 “Most

instances of good and misfortune in this world are dependent upon character traits” (Vilna Gaon, Even Shleimah 1:7).

15 The

Rambam (Shemoneh Perakim 3) explains that just as there are cholei haguf (people who suffer from physical afﬂiction), there are also cholei hanefesh (people who suffer from emotional or spiritual sickness). Just as one who is physically sick will eat things that are potentially harmful to him, a person who is a choleh nefesh will engage in behaviors that are potentially harmful using his negative middot (character traits) and other ills to satiate himself. 16 The

Rabbis say that, to a large extent, before a person is born God decrees whether that person will be clever or foolish, strong or weak, healthy or diseased, rich or poor. Only whether the person will be a tzaddik (a righteous person) or a rasha (an evil person) is not pre-ordained; that depends on free will (Niddah 16b). We may choose whether to be good or bad, and we only need that choice in order to gain all that we could ever want. 17 Even

beyond our emotions, we often mistakenly substitute our thoughts for reality. Dr. John Sarno, professor of clinical rehabilitation medicine at New York University School of Medicine, states in his book, that, “I have never seen a patient with pain in the neck, shoulders, back or buttocks who didn’t believe that the pain was due to an injury, a ‘hurt’ brought on by some physical activity . . . The idea that pain means injury or damage is deeply ingrained in people’s consciousness. Of course, the pain starts while we are engaged in physical activity but, as he explains, “that is often deceiving” (Sarno, John E. Healing Back Pain. Warner Books. 1991). This is why we are often more hurt when we feel disrespected by someone who is smart, wealthy, or attractive. We unconsciously believe that this person has more “value” and is “better,” so his words and deeds carry a greater impact. “Everything is according to the shamer and the one being put to shame” (Bava Kamma 83B). 18

19 Compassion 20 When

naturally emerges for children, the elderly, the sick, or even animals, because we more easily see their vulnerability — via their appearance.

a person exhibits a tremendous degree of self-sacrifice and puts his own needs or even his life to the side for another, we get that lump-in-the-throat feeling. Why? Because that person has set aside his own ego; he has given of himself to do what is right for another person, and so we are touched. This is a connection, though, that is not borne out of a sense of the other’s vulnerability, but rather his soul’s infinite goodness. The wall of “I am me and he is he,” is broken down; and where there is no ego, there is connection. 21 Bandler, Richard and Grinder, John: The Structure of Magic. Science and Behaviour Books Inc. (1975). 22 Bandler, Richard and Grinder, John: The Structure of Magic. Science and Behaviour Books Inc. (1975). 22 “Reality can best be described with a metaphor of the mind as a film projector. Our thoughts then become the film through which the light-carrying sensory stimuli shines. Consciousness is the light which causes the images on the screen to appear as real.” (Mills, R.C. Realizing mental health: toward a new psychology of resiliency. Sulzberger & Graham. 1995). 23 It is more accurate, though possibly misleading, to use the word “intentions” instead of “behavior.” We know that one who honestly intends to perform a mitzvah, though thwarted, still gets credit for it (Berachot 6a). However, we often speak of having good intentions without truly expecting to act on them.

Home Humidifiers By Debbie Aharon During cold winter months, we protect our homes from the cold by sealing every door, window, or opening. But did you know if you do too good a job of sealing your home, you might actually end up raising your heating bills? That’s right, tests have shown that new energy efficient homes and older homes that are tightly sealed against the elements can actually have higher heating bills than homes that aren’t as airtight. You see, people feel most comfortable when the humidity in the air is between 30% and 50%, but during the winter the humidity in a tightly sealed home can drop as low as 10%. This low humidity is caused by central heating that circulates air that hasn’t just been warmed, it’s also been dried as it was heated. So, when the indoor air has very little moisture in it, our body moisture evaporates quickly, and we start to feel cold -- so we raise the temperature.

Low Moisture Problems

In addition to making us feel cold, low moisture can cause other problems, things like • The dry air will make your nose and throat feel scratchy and sore, dry out your skin and make you susceptible to colds and flu. Dry sinuses, bloody noses and cracked lips — humidifiers can help soothe these familiar problems caused by dry indoor air. Humidifiers can also help ease symptoms of a cold or another respiratory condition. • Shocks from static electricity particularly after you’ve walked across a carpet. The shocks aren’t just painful; they can actually cause problems with electronic equipment and even computers. • Wood flooring and moldings can dry out and develop gaps or even cracks. • Houseplants will get sickly and you might even find some wallpaper starting to peel at the edges and seams. Adding humidity to the air in your home will help get rid of these problems. You can do that in a number of ways, such as adding a central humidifier to the heating system, boiling a pot of water on your stove or drying your clothes on a rack in the basement, but one of the cheapest and easiest ways is to get a portable humidifier.

Different Varieties Of Humidifiers

Today, there are countless models of humidifiers to choose from. Humidifiers are mainly classified into two types –

warm mist and cool mist. In homes with children, it is better to avoid warm mist humidifiers since a child may get burnt from the hot steam emitted. Also, warm mist humidifiers consume more electricity as they have to heat the water to produce steam. Cool mist humidifiers are considerable safer, but require more maintenance. These units require cleaning with soap and water everyday and changing the filter annually. After deciding to purchase either of these, the next thing to consider is whether the humidifier should be ultrasonic, evaporative or steam-based. Here are the differences, benefits and disadvantages of each: • Ultrasonic humidifiers: These are among the cheapest yet most energy-efficient of all humidifiers. These units feature storage for water and oscillating plates. The vibrations of these plates transform water into a fine mist that is then blown out with a fan. The major problem of an ultrasonic humidifier is that it produces white dust as a by-product which can pose a serious threat for people with breathing problems. However, the newer and costlier versions of ultrasonic humidifiers feature advanced technology that eliminates the problem of white dust. • Evaporative humidifiers: These units work by releasing moisture into the air by blowing water with a fan. This is quite a hygienic choice since it does not pose the problem of dust being released into the room. In addition to being very energy-efficient, this system is noiseless so it can be comfortably used in bedrooms. There are two kinds of evaporative humidifiers – one with porous filters and the other with rotating discs. When it comes to maintenance, the system with porous filter is

less preferable since it can quickly get polluted with hair, skin, dust and other matter in the air and incur regular replacements. On the other hand, the rotating discs of the second group of humidifiers are made from hardened plastic, making them easy to clean and care for. • Steam-based humidifiers: The moisture released by steam humidifiers can easily be regulated according to the extent of dryness in a room. The humidity control provided by these units is exceptionally hygienic since steam kills off germs and releases sterile moisture. That makes a steam humidifier an excellent choice for controlling humidity in nurseries or for people with respiratory illness. Maintaining a steam humidifier involves regular removal of lime scale that may build up within the system. Compared to other humidifiers, steam ones are considerably economical. However, steam humidifiers consume more power than other versions of humidifiers.

Choosing your humidifier

• Purchase price - humidifiers range from $25 for a small one-room model to $150 for a larger console design that can humidify a number of rooms. Do you want to try and humidify a single room (like a bedroom) or raise the humidity on one whole floor of your home? • Ongoing operating costs - Not just the amount of energy consumption and water consumed, but maintenance costs as well. Humidifiers need to be cleaned regularly including the filters. However, with some designs, the filters can’t be removed and cleaned, they need to be replaced (and this obviously adds to the cost). • Does it have a humidistat? A humidistat is similar to a thermostat except rather than temperature, it measures the humidity in the air and when the moisture content of the air reaches the desired setting, it turns off the humidifier. Similar to too little humidity, too much humidity can also cause problems in your home, so a humidistat that controls when the humidifier turns on and off is a valuable feature.

Keep it clean: Dirty humidifiers and health problems

Dirty reservoirs and filters in humidifiers can quickly breed bacteria and mold. Dirty humidifiers can be especially problematic for people with asthma and allergies, but even in healthy people humidifiers have the potential to trigger flu-like symptoms or even lung infections when the contaminated mist or steam is released into the air. Steam vaporizers or evaporators may be less likely to release airborne allergens than may cool-mist humidifiers. • If possible, use demineralized water or distilled water to prevent a build up of scale or rust in your humidifier. Tap water contains minerals that can create deposits inside your humidifier that promote bacterial growth. And, when released into the air, these minerals often appear as white dust on your furniture. You may also breathe in some minerals that are dispersed into the air. Distilled or demineralized water contains has a much lower mineral content compared with tap water. In addition, use

demineralization cartridges or filters if recommended by the manufacturer. • Bacteria can grow in standing water, it’s important to clean out the water tank on a regular basis. Don’t allow film or deposits to develop inside your humidifiers. Empty the tanks, dry the inside surfaces and refill with clean water every day if possible. Also, if you aren’t going to be using your humidifier for a while, empty the water tank and clean it. • Clean or replace the filters on a regular basis, since the damp surface can promote the growth of bacteria. • When spring comes, give your humidifier a thorough cleaning with anti-bacterial solution (or oxygen bleach and water) so it’s ready to go next winter. • Keep the area around humidifiers dry. If the area around a humidifier becomes damp or wet — including windows, carpeting, drapes or tablecloths — turn the humidifier down or reduce how frequently you use it. • Consider replacing old humidifiers. Over time, humidifiers can build up deposits that are difficult or impossible to remove and encourage growth of bacteria.

Humidifiers, asthma and allergies If you or your child has asthma or allergies, talk to your doctor before you start using a humidifier. Increased humidity may ease breathing in children and adults who have asthma or allergies, especially during a respiratory infection such as a cold. But dirty mist, or increased growth of allergens caused by high humidity, can trigger or worsen asthma and allergy symptoms.

By avi FisHoFF & yaakov sHain

CHapter 8: tHe spiritUaL Cat sCan GPS! Navigation for Your Soul

What’s really going on inside that mind of yours? "'‫"ודבר זה מתנה טובה שנתן הקב"ה לישראל 'כי מעמקי לבם דבוק בה‬ '‫פרי צדיק ויקרא קונטרס עמלה של תורה אות ה‬

“Hashem gave a special gift to His precious children: Deep in our hearts we always remain connected to Him.”

HasHem

does not just look at your actions… He sees deep into your core! ...‫"לבוחן לבבות ביום דין‬ "...‫ ליודע מחשבות ביום דין‬... ‫לגולה עמוקות בדין‬ ‫תפילה לימים נוראים‬

One of the most emotional aspects of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is the awesome realization that we are standing before a Judge who “examines hearts … reveals hidden depths … and knows all our thoughts ….” Yikes! It’s bad enough that Hashem judges our sinful ACTIONS as our violations are displayed on a lifesize, high-def, full-color, 3D, slow-motion video. But along come these heart-wrenching words, revealing that Hashem, our Judge, does not only see what we actually did wrong, but He also knows our sinful thoughts lurking beneath the surface! OY! How can you not die of embarrassment as EVERY sinful thought and feeling you had during the entire year is openly revealed in Hashem’s heavenly court!? The prosecutor began the case against Herman by playing a video showing him entering a liquor store at 2:19 a.m. to purchase a huge bottle of vodka. Then came the testimony of a police officer who saw Herman wandering through the park at 3:30, completely intoxicated. Herman’s credit card receipt showed that he purchased gas for his car at 3:45. And finally, a video taken at 4:05 by a bystander crossing the street clearly showed Herman speed straight through a red light, running over the innocent video guy himself! With the camera on the ground, still filming, the video captures Herman stumbling out of the car drunkenly screaming, “OIY

VEY! What did I do … how did I do this …. HELP!” This was clearly an open-and-shut case. How could Herman defend himself? Could he deny what happened? Of course not! And now, he was about to be judged …. The feeling of knowing that we are “cooked” happens to us each and every year and we just don’t know how to deal with it. So let’s take a look back in time and we will find that it actually happened to ALL of us as an entire nation ….

Roll clip: After we finally got out of Egypt with the Egyptians chasing us in hot pursuit, we found ourselves trapped on all sides, with our path blocked by a sea. Hashem then commanded the sea to split for us, but a very interesting event occurred: :‫"בעת קריעת ים סוף טען הקטיגור לפני הקב״ה על ישראל ואמר‬ ‫הללו [המצרים] עובדי עבודה זרה והללו [ישראל] עובדי עבודה זרה‬ ]‫[כי במצרים היו מישראל נוטים לעבודה זרה‬ "?‫ולמה אתה קורע להם את הים‬

‫ב‬:‫ז זוה״ק ח״ב קע‬:‫יא בשם מדרש שמות רבה כא‬:‫תורה תמימה בראשית פרק מח‬

The heavenly command got caught up (so to speak) in “red tape” and the prosecuting angels interjected: “These Jews worship idols just as these Egyptians do! So how can You command us to split the sea for one group and then drown the other, when they are both essentially THE SAME!?” The Prime Minister called the head of airport security with a direct command: At 2:00 p.m. today a flight from Iran will be landing. Forty men named Ishmael Aleli Ikbamakubaku will try to get into our country. They were all trained by the same terrorist group. I hereby command you to escort the first twenty of them right through security and the next twenty of them should be shot dead on the spot! The head of security replied: I’m sorry, Mr. Prime Minister, but we have rules and regulations that we must follow! How can we possibly do this – they are all the same!?!

Based on our actions, we were in big trouble with no way to defend ourselves, just like our friend Herman and just like each one of us feels every year as we stand to be judged. ‫״ומהי באמת התשובה‬ "?‫על קיטרוג זה מאחר ששוים במעשיהם‬ ‫ספר נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עמוד ער"ה‬

Now let’s remember: If Hashem would have judged us based on our ACTIONS, we would have been wiped out by the pursuing Egyptian army. So we see that this concept is not just a “nice thought”; rather, our entire existence as a nation came about because this is truly the way that Hashem evaluates us!

But as we all know, Hashem did rescue us from the Egyptians! Nu, so how did He get around the prosecuting angels’ rational objection?

Although they may have externally engaged in the action of “bowing to idols,” they certainly were NOT — by any stretch of the imagination — “idol worshipers!”

,‫"כי מלאכים ושרפים רואים רק את המעשים בפועל‬ ‫ ואינם יכולים להבחין בין עצם למקרה‬,‫אך אינם יודעים את המחשבות‬ "‫!על כן טענו הללו והללו עובדי עבודה זרה‬

And so it is with each one of us: you may “______” — but you certainly are not a “_____er”!!!

‫ספר נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עמוד ער"ה‬

The explanation is as follows: heavenly angels can only see our exterior actions but they have no way to know what we are thinking. Therefore they cannot differentiate between “ESSENCE” and “CIRCUMSTANCE.” That’s why they mistakenly thought that the two groups of idol worshipers were exactly “THE SAME”! ‫״הקדוש ברוך הוא היודע מחשבות ומבין כל תעלומות לב‬ ‫ שאפילו כשיהודי חוטא‬... !‫רק הוא ידע שאין הללו כהללו‬ "‫ אלא לבו נשבר מאד בקרבו מכשלונו‬,‫!אין זה בשאט נפש‬ ‫ספר נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עמוד ער"ה‬

However, Hashem — Who sees deep inside of us — knows that there is NO comparison between a Yid (even while doing the worst sins imaginable) and idol-worshiping Egyptians! Hashem knows that you would never ever willingly agree to sin against Him! In your internal mindset you never meant to sin at all and you are completely dedicated to Hashem and to following all His commandments! Rabbi Shimon Goldstein was perhaps the most popular Jewish figure in America. He lived in Washington and was the top Jewish liaison to the president. The president often publicly said that if he would ever convert to Judaism — Rabbi Goldstein would be his Rabbi! One late night on the way home from visiting the president, he came head-to-head with a gang of idol worshipers! They put a gun to his head and said: “Hey Rabbi — either bow down to our idol or we will blow your brains out!” Defiantly the Rabbi retorted: “I will NEVER bow down!” The hoodlums placed the idol on the ground and brutally swung a bat at the Rabbi’s stomach, cracking his ribs! Reb Shimon doubled over and fell on his hands and knees in intense pain. They then snapped a picture, and sent it to all the newspapers. The next day every paper featured the picture with the caption: “The president’s Rabbi becomes an idol worshiper!” Dear reader: Did Rabbi Goldstein physically bow to the idol? YES! Do you think that Rabbi Goldstein is an idol worshiper? Of course not! He was merely unable to fend off the gang members who forced him to bow down! If he knew karate or carried a weapon, he certainly would have fought them!

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HASHEM TOLD THE PROSECUTING ANGELS: ‫שירד ס״מ ואמר לפניו רבונו של עולם לא עבדו ישראל עבודה זרה במצרים‬ ‫ואתה עושה להם נסים? והיה משמיע קולו לשר של ים ונתמלא עליהם‬ ‫ שוטה שבעולם‬:‫ֵח ָמה ובקש לטבען! מיד השיב לו הקב״ה‬ ‫וכי לדעתם עבדוה והלא לא עבדוה אלא מתוך שעבוד ומתוך טרוף דעת ואתה‬ ‫!?!דן שוגג כמזיד ואונס כרצון‬ ‫ילקוט שמעוני תורה פרשת בשלח רמז רכ״ה‬

When the angels questioned our loyalty, Hashem responded: “You fools! Can you compare those who sin because they are FORCED TO SIN to those who willingly sin!? Did Klal Yisrael worship idols because they wanted to — or because they were under the extreme pressure of their enslavement and under the influence of their contaminated surroundings!?”

‫" כי באמת במעמקי לבם כולם צדיקים וקדושים‬ "!‫והפגמים רק מהשאור שבעיסה ההוצי המקיף‬ ‫'פרי צדיק ויקרא קונטרס עמלה של תורה אות ו‬

In reality, every Yid is essentially righteous and holy, and anything he does wrong is ONLY due to the thorny Yetzer Hora that constantly pokes him! ‫"אתה רואה את החיצוניות בלבד‬ ‫ואני רואה הן את החיצוניות והן את הפנימיות שבפנימיות‬ ‫יודע אני את גודל הכאב המחלחל בפנימיות נפשם‬ "!‫אשר צעק לבם אל ה' על שפל מצבם‬ ‫נתיבות שלום עניני פסח דף רנ"ח‬ While the Jews were still slaves in Mitzrayim, Hashem told Moshe: You only see their outside, which seems like they have given up on their true Jewish identity and they seem to be comfortable living a life immersed in vtnuy (spiritual impurity). Whereas, I, Hashem, see the same exterior that you see, but I also see what lies deep within their souls. I see their intense apb hruxh (internal agony), heartache, and misery churning deep within them as they scream out to Me regarding their low spiritual state and depressing situation. Mr. Greenstein was walking quickly down Ocean Parkway on a cold and dark Friday night after attending his weekly shiur, when he chanced upon a few rebellious-looking teenagers. He tried to walk past them quickly, hoping they weren’t dangerous, when suddenly one of them spitefully shouted at him “Gut Shabbos, Rabbi” while taking a drag from some kind of cigarette and gulping down a shot of vodka straight from the bottle. The other boys chuckled.His heart nearly stopped as he realized that these dangerouslooking kids were actually Yiddishe boys! Anger boiled within him as he could not understand how they were not ashamed to act like that in front of him! He became disgusted at their spitefulness in wishing him a “gut Shabbos” while desecrating it right in front of him at the same moment! Fuming with anger, he told his family, “These stinkin’ kids are trash and we should throw them out of the neighborhood! They aren’t even ‘recyclable’ because they can never become anything good! Just plain TRASH!” When we see a “rebel,” we may think that he is content with his life and he isn’t interested in improving. We may think he really is “worthless” and just a piece of junk. But that is only because we can see only his external actions and the tough front he puts up. On the outside he may seem happy and content with his life. He may look tough and rebellious. He may look like he is having so much fun partying and spitting in the face of Yiddishkeit. However, Hashem, Who sees the deep pain inside his heart regarding his sad spiritual status, knows that nothing is further

from the truth! No one wants to be far away from Hashem. No one really wants to be a rebellious ungrateful person. No one wants to waste his life and waste his potential! Hashem would tell the Mr. Greenstein inside of each one of us: When you judge any Yid at any age or stage, remember that you can only see the exterior; the kid-at-risk or post-risk, the angry person, the miser, the hypocrite, the kuchleffel, the fighter, the ganuf, etc. … etc. …. However, I, Hashem, also see deep within him and I can tell you that he is in tremendous pain and agony over his situation and he wishes that he could improve! Hashem, Who also sees the hidden parts of us, can hear the muffled screams emanating from deep within their souls, crying out in pain over their low spiritual situation: HASHEM — PLEASE SAVE ME! ‫״כי כאשר יהודי חוטא לבו שותת דם על התרחקותו מהשם יתברך‬ ‫!ורק שאינו יכול לעמוד בפני גודל התגברות היצר הרע עליו‬ ‫ואילו בפנימיות נפשו אינו חוטא כלל ואין הללו ׳עובדי עבודה זרה׳‬ "!‫והעצם של יהודי קדוש וטהור חלק אלוק ממעל‬

GPS! Navigation for Your Soul

‫ספר נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עמוד של"ב‬

Whenever you go against the will of Hashem, deep deep inside you feel absolutely horrible! After all, what fool would ever want to do that!?! You know that these actions are not in your best interest and you never fully internally agreed to do these sinful actions and thoughts! Therefore, it is as though you were hijacked and forced to go against your true wish and desire to be close to Hashem.

NOW WE CAN LOOK AT THIS PRAYER WITH A FRESH OUTLOOK ‫ לגולה עמוקות בדין‬... ‫ לבוחן לבבות ביום דין‬..." "‫ ליודע מחשבות ביום דין‬.... ‫ ולא רק על המחשבות‬,‫״הקב"ה רואה לא רק את המעשים הרעים שעשינו‬ ‫אלא הוא יתברך מעמיק יותר עד לשורש‬,‫הגלויות שלנו‬ ‫ושם הוא גולה עמוקות ורואה את הרצונות והמחשבות הטובים שלנו‬ ‫הטמונים בתוך־תוכנו בעומק הלב והנפש‬ ‫ספר נתיבי אמת‬

We now understand that these words are not meant to be said in grief: “Woe is to me that Hashem is going to reveal my deep dark thoughts and secrets! OY VEY!” On the contrary — it is a heartfelt PRAYER! “PLEASE Hashem; as the prosecutor displays all of my disgusting sinful external actions, please delve past ALL the confusion and corruption, and look DEEPER and DEEPER into my true core essence; reveal to the heavenly court how brokenhearted I am each time I sin, how much I regret sinning against You, and how my true inner desire is to never sin against You again!! YES! Hashem, look deep into my heart and reveal all of my deep PURE feelings and my inner longing to always be GOOD!” Back to Herman: Herman asked to address the jury. He explained that he was indeed guilty of the horrific crime! Yes, he was drunk, he did speed through the red light, and he did unfortunately run over the innocent bystander. However, he pleaded with them to take the recent events in his life into consideration. Tearfully, he revealed what had brought him to this unfortunate situation: One year earlier, his precious 5-yearold daughter had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. As he tried to plan for this terrible stage of his life, he knew that at least he had a comfortable job with the financial security and resources to do whatever was necessary to save her life. However, his company was suddenly wiped out and he lost all his money. Six months before, he had sold his home and begun construction on a new house. Now, with no money to pay for the construction,

he had to stop the project and the bank took the home away from him. His entire life quickly unraveled. He did not have the money to help his daughter find the best medical treatment possible— and his daughter died. He began to suffer from chest pain and developed diabetes. As a result of all the stress, his beloved wife had a breakdown and was committed to a mental institution. He was shattered. Penniless. Homeless. In his broken and twisted mind that night … he was hoping — not to kill — but to be killed! He planned to jump from a cliff. This horrible accident occurred while he was driving to the cliff. He stood before the jury … weeping … and pleading …. “Please don’t send me to jail for the rest of my life! Please execute me and put me out of my misery, for I can’t bear to live any longer!” The jury now understood that Herman was not an “evil person” — rather, he was a broken “good person.” They realized that he does not need to be “punished” as much as he needs to be “repaired”! It is true that he may have “killed” — but he was NOT “a killer”! They sentenced him to spend one year in a state-of-the-art rehabilitation center, to be funded by the state, in order to help him deal with his past trauma and build a new life for himself. Indeed, after just one year at the facility, Herman left the facility like a new man, with the rest of his life ahead of him. Greeting him at the front door were the judge and the entire jury. They celebrated his new lease on life and they all wished him well. The same jurors, who were originally prepared to convict Herman of murder, became his biggest fans, rooting for him and buying him gifts in order to lift his spirits. Now we can understand how Hashem looked at us when we left Egypt: Instead of focusing on our corrupt actions — He focused on our pure ESSENCE and incredible POTENTIAL! These souls did not need to be PUNISHED — they needed to be SAVED! They did not need to be DROWNED — they needed to CROSS THAT SEA and GET AWAY from their past so that they could build a new life for themselves! Indeed, just 49 days later we heard the voice of G-d speaking directly to us at Har Sinai! (Not bad for a seven-week kiruv program!)

NOW THAT WE HAVE REVEALED HOW HASHEM LOOKS AT US, WE MUST LEARN TO LOOK AT OURSELVES IN THE SAME INSPIRATIONAL WAY! ".'‫”שיר המעלות ממעמקים קראתיך ה‬ ‫א‬:‫תהלים פרק קל‬

Dovid HaMelech writes: “A song of elevation; from the depths I call out to Hashem.” The simple meaning of “from the depths” is that the person is calling out to Hashem from a very difficult and dismal situation. "!‫ ממעמקי הנפש‬:‫”היינו‬

‫נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עניני פסח דף רנ"ח‬

However, it can also mean that I am calling out “from the depths” of: my own heart and soul! Meaning: '‫"דאף כאשר יהודי נמצא במצב שבחיצוניות כבר אינו מסוגל לקרוא לה‬ '‫!'הרי 'ממעמקים’ קראתיך ה‬ "!!!'‫במעמקי נפשו הרי הוא מיוסר וכאוב ונפשו משוועת לה‬ ‫נתיבות שלום חלק ב' עניני פסח דף רנ"ח‬ Even if you sink so low that externally it already seems (even to you!) that you are no longer reaching up and calling out to Hashem, still, “ohengnn” (from the depths), meaning: from the depths of YOU — deep deep inside — you are in pain and agony over the sad state of your low spiritual situation, and your soul is screaming for salvation!

‫ולפי זה מובן למה נקט דוד לשון של ׳שיר המעלות’ ולא ׳תפילה לעני׳‬ ‫ לומר שהדרך ׳להתעלות’ הוא דוקא כשיודע‬,‫וכדומה‬ ‫שבמעמקי נפשו עדיין קורא לה׳‬ ‫כלילת יופי‬

Perhaps this is why Dovid HaMelech specifically began this verse with the words “zelrnd xiy — a song of elevation,” for the KEY to being able to raise yourself up from a low level and ELEVATE yourself, is to tap into the fact that “miwnrnn” — deep inside your soul — you are not happy with your current low situation and “!'d jiz`xw" — you are still yearning to be closer to Hashem!

now we can uncover a deeper revelation in our prayers: "‫”ושמע צעקתנו יודע תעלומות‬ ‫תפילת אנא בכח‬

“Hear our screams, the One Who knows hidden things.” At first glance, it seems that the attribute doesn’t correctly match the description; for if we are “screaming,” then why refer to Hashem as the “One Who knows HIDDEN things” — hello — it’s not HIDDEN if we are SCREAMING! Wouldn’t it be better to describe Hashem as “,zewrv rney — He who hears our screams”!? ,‫״אפילו כאשר היהודי נמצא במצב כה שפל וגרוע שאינו יכול אפילו לצעוק‬ ‫הקב"ה שהוא ׳יודע תעלומות’ שומע למכאוביו הפנימיים‬ "!!'‫אשר צעק 'הושיעני ָאבי‬ ‫ספר נתיבי אמת‬

This is the inner beauty of the prayer: Even when I am so messed up that I cannot even manage to cry out over my low spiritual situation, and it may even seem like I am okay with the way things are, Hashem, Who is a “zenelrz rcei,” hears the bitter screams of intense pain emanating from deep within my soul!

fasten your seatbela while we reveal an amazing concept: .‫ קול מלחמה במחנה‬:‫"וישמע יהושע את קול העם ברעה ויאמר אל משה‬ :‫ ואין קול ענות חלושה‬,‫ אין קול ענות גבורה‬:‫ויאמר‬ "!‫קול ענות אנכי שמע‬ ‫יח‬-‫יז‬:‫שמות פרק לב‬

When Moshe Rabbeinu descended from Har Sinai, Yehoshua heard shouting coming from the camp: “The voice of WAR is in the camp!” Yehoshua understood that if the camp was in such an uproar, it must have been because the camp was under attack; either they were they were winning and chasing the intruders while shouting victoriously, or they were losing the battle and screaming in pain. However, our wise leader, Moshe Rabbeinu, responded: “I do not hear shouts of victory or screams of weakness. I hear only sounds of DISTRESS.” ‫ אדם שהוא עתיד להנהיג שררה על ששים ריבוא‬:‫"אמר משה‬ "?‫אינו יודע להבחין בין קול לקול‬ ‫תלמוד ירושלמי מסכת תענית פרק ד' דף ס"ח‬

There is a fascinating Talmud Yerushalmi: Moshe’s words to Yehoshua carry an implied rebuke, as if to say that the future leader of Klal Yisrael should be able to differentiate between the sound of “war” and the sound of “pain”! ‫"מהי הטענה על שאין לו כשרון זה להבחין‬ "?‫בין קול לקול בקולות הנשמעים מרחוק‬ ‫ספר מעין בית השואבה עמוד רכ״ד‬

The obvious question is: What was so terrible about Yehoshua’s inability to differentiate between distant screams of victory and screams of anguish? If you were far away from a football stadium and heard 40,000 people shouting at the top of their lungs, would YOU be able to tell the difference between the crowd screaming “Defense!” or “Go! Go! Go!”? ‫״ויש לומר שבאמת הבחין יהושע שהיה קול של הוללות ושכרות‬ "!‫רק שחשב שהוא קול מלחמה של מרידה כנגד הקב״ה‬ ‫ספר מעין בית השואבה עמוד רכ״ד‬

The explanation is that both Yehoshua and Moshe heard and understood that the shouting emanated from a drunken crowd that was dancing around a golden calf. However, Yehoshua concluded that this behavior must represent that they were waging a WAR against Hashem! Therefore he cried out: “dpgna dngln lew — The voice of war is in the camp!” ,‫ קול של צער ועינוי נפש‬,’‫״ועל זה ענהו משה רבינו שבאמת הוא קול ׳ענות‬ ‫שעל ידי שחשבו שהם נעזבים וגלמודים במדבר בלי מנהיג‬ "!‫התחילו בשכרות והוללות אבל אין זה מתוך מרידה אלא מתוך צער‬ ‫ספר מעין בית השואבה עמוד רכ״ד‬

However, our holy teacher, Moshe, who knew and understood us very well, rebuked Yehoshua for this interpretation of our wrongful acts and taught him a fundamental principle. Moshe looked past the external actions of the rebellious nation and saw the anguish and inner pain that arose because they felt abandoned in a desert without a leader! He understood that even though they were drunk and dancing around an idol, the source of their behavior was NOT a rebellion against Hashem; rather, it was because they thought that their beloved Moshe — their GPS — had left them and they felt completely lost! ‫"וכדרך האנשים שמרוב יאוש וצער‬ "!‫הרי הם עוסקים בשכרות והוללות של הבל‬ ‫ספר מעין בית השואבה עמוד רכ״ד‬

As we see openly in our day and age, people who suffer inner pain and turmoil try to escape by drinking, doing drugs, and partying! ,‫"ולזה הי' טוען על יהושע‬ ‫שראוי למי שעתיד להיות מנהיג שידע להבחין אם קול של עוברי עבירה‬ ‫ופורקים עול מלכות שמים בא מתוך שמחה של קלות ראש‬, "!‫ כי אז יש תקוה להשיב בנים לגבולם‬,‫או מתוך צער ויאוש ועינוי נפש‬ ‫מעין ספר בית השואבה עמוד רכ"ד‬

This is what Moshe told Yehoshua: The future leader of Klal Yisrael MUST be able to know whether those who stray from the right path and throw off the yoke of heaven are doing so out of happiness and lightheadedness, or if the reason they are acting out is really because they are filled with depression, hopelessness, and inner pain — because only with this proper understanding can we hope to bring these lost souls back home! There is a famous parable of a man who caught a fish and his young son watched in amazement as the fish wildly flipped and flopped on the ground. The boy thought the fish was dancing, overjoyed to be “saved” from the water! So the boy pumped up the music and started to clap and dance along with him! “Papa, look how well this fish break-dances!” They danced and danced until the fish died. The naive child thought the fish was having fun, but the wise man understands that the fish was actually … gasping for life. Authentic Yiddishkeit believes that someone may seem to be “enjoying” himself and “partying” out of control, but that does not mean that he is satisfied with his life! In fact, the partying might very well be a manifestation of tremendous inner pain that is eating him up to the point that he cannot deal with it any other way. He is not “dancing” — he is gasping for life! Understanding this is our only hope of returning those lost souls to Hashem,... and that includes our own souls as well!

To reach the authors: GPSFORYOURSOUL@gmail.com.