WRITING IN THE DIGITAL AGE: A CAREER IN BOOK EDITING BY ELENA BUTTERFIELD
Table of Contents Author's Statement 1. Preliminary Theory 2. The First Comparative Analysis 3. Dr. Amy Clements 4. A Second Comparative Analysis 5. Writing Sample Resume About the Author
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Author's Statement This project was done through multiple benchmarks. The five benchmarks ended up being the five chapters of this book. At the end of each chapter, there will be a link to all of the original content. The purpose of this project was to gather research on the field of book editing an to create a professional portfolio.
Chapter 1 Preliminary Theory
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I would assume that book editors have multiple authors for clients that send them what they have written to review. Therefore, an editor would go over whatever they were sent that day and give critiques or decide that it is ready to be published. I would assume that they also have meetings with the authors in person or over the phone. They would also have to network to get new clients. Once a book is ready to be published, editors would have to make sure that the author is ready to publish the book, and they would have to schedule the book’s release. The head editor of a publishing company would also most likely look at sales to see if they want to publish other books from an author again.
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As far as writing, editors need to do a lot of revising and editing, so that is a big part of the writing that they do. Also, they need to be in communication with the authors, so there would probably be a lot of emailing. There may also be spreadsheets that editors use to schedule book releases, meetings, or book sales.
Benchmark 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vxsEFb6SlNPz NPLnIgQqyOP77B9ZVcMLa81FqpwzyOg/edit? usp=sharing
Chapter 2 The First Comparative Analysis
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First, I researched five jobs as an editorial assistant, or something similar. I found two jobs on Indeed and three on LinkedIn. Here is what they were: Editorial Assistant at Scholastic and Assistant Editor for the Children's Trade group at Bloomsbury Publishing Inc. on Indeed, as well as Assistant Editor at Merrium-Webster Inc., Associate Editor at Pantheon Books, and Associate Desk Editor at Hatchette Book Group. Below are the job postings. Scholastic Editorial Assistant: This is an editorial role supporting Executive Editorial Director and VP, Publisher of the Trade Licensed Publishing Department. The department focuses on acquiring books that tie in with children’s TV, movie, video games, and graphic
8 novels / comic books, as well as original paperback series. The role is responsible for scheduling meetings, managing calendars, completing paperwork for deal memos, ordering books from the warehouse, running P&Ls, creating school market commitments, finalizing ISBNs, writing factsheets, and various other entrylevel administrative and editorial tasks. This position will also have the opportunity to learn about the editing process by assisting Executive Editorial Director on manuscripts and layouts through all stages of production. The editorial assistant will learn about all stages of licensed book acquisition, from review and evaluation all the way through final production. Responsibilities: Scheduling meetings for Executive Editorial Director and VP, Publisher both internally and externally
9 Ordering books for authors and illustrators, and for departmental staffCompleting paperwork for author contracts, book ISBNs, school market commits, and more. Submitting book materials to licensors through online database Helping manage book specs in online database and on grids Writing back cover and catalog copy / metadata Reading manuscripts, providing editorial feedback, and reviewing layouts through all stages of book production General administrative support for busy editorial director and publisher Qualifications: Bachelor's Degree 0-3 years of experience
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Merrium-Webster Inc. Assistant Editor: The person hired for this position will undergo training in various aspects of dictionary work, including the styling conventions of our dictionaries, the structure of the datafiles and the tools used to create and manage them, how to look for and evaluate evidence of a word's usage using various tools, and how to draft and revise entries for our dictionaries and other references. Responsibilities: Defining (i.e., performing language research and drafting and revising entries) for dictionaries and other reference works. Keying data into dictionary files. Maintaining records relating to specific editorial projects or special aspects of the department's editorial work.
11 Proofreading and QAing print and online materials, marketing materials, etc. Keying data into dictionary files Occasionally assisting with crossreference tasks (to review each and every link in our online dictionaries, and to ensure that when one entry in a dictionary relies on information in another entry in the same dictionary, that information is in place where it should be and is in the correct format). Qualifications: Being detail-oriented. Having well-developed writing skills. Having native-level fluency in English.
12 Holding a bachelor's degree with an excellent academic record and a major in one of the humanities or social sciences; or having significant work experience in professional writing, publishing, or a language-related field. Having a passion for the English language and its workings. Having the ability to work largely independently with occasional collaboration. Bloomsbury Publishing Inc. Assistant Editor- Children's Trade: This entry level role reports to the Publishing Director of the Children’s Trade group and supports the Editorial Director and department needs. Individual must be detail oriented, organized, efficient, a skilled communicator with various people and departments, and
13 comfortable/skilled/quick learner with computers and various data base systems. Individual must also have specific interest in children’s and young adult fiction and nonfiction publishing. Responsibilities: Administrative Responsibilities Organize and schedule department meetings (booking conference rooms/video links, etc) Send production materials, ARCs, finished copies, etc., and other clerical duties Create Word documents, Excel spreadsheets, and Powerpoint presentations Add/update titles in Biblio Data System Commission and send advance payments
14 Facilitate materials sent to authors for approvals (proofread 1P, proofs, etc.) Prepare and enter T&E reports and Focal Point invoices Look up/update sales figures (Cognos, Decision Key, Royalty Share) in tip sheets Draft deal memos, review contracts, upload to Biblio Create editorial schedules Maintain title lists, publication grids, and department grids Editorial Responsibilities Write paperback/board book copy Create tip sheets and write other seasonal and book jacket copy Prepare copy to feed out to online retailers Review reprints and make necessary updates
15 Read, evaluate, and respond to submissions alongside Publishing and Editorial Directors Prepare acquisitions proposals Offer editorial feedback Communicate news to authors and agents (deals, ebook promotions, etc.) Oversee a list of UK co-publications List illustration suggestions, review sketches, and code artwork into B&W illustrated novels Create design memos and work with Design team on covers Research and analyze trends and competition Present books at pre-launch and launch
16 Qualifications: Associates Degree in a related field Excellent communication skills, both verbal and written Ability to organize, multi-task, and work under tight deadlines Flexible and able to switch gears, midstream Strong attention to detail Critical reading skills/editorial eye Ability to take initiative Interest in working on children’s and young adult fiction and nonfiction. Strong understanding of Microsoft Word, Excel, and Outlook Pantheon Books- Associate Editor: Reporting to and working closely with the publisher, the associate editor will provide developmental editing support on the publisher’s titles as well as manage a small
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list of their own and will liaise with authors and their agents, and relevant departments throughout KDPG, in performing the activities outlined below. Responsibilities: Read and evaluate manuscripts and proposals; recommend projects for acquisition Assess potential value of projects, craft P&Ls, draft acquisitions memos Work with publisher and writers on developing and finalizing manuscripts, including substantive and line edits Manage the lifecycle of the editorial process from acquisition to publication, maintaining an effective relationship with production, managing editorial/copyediting, cover and interior design, and other support departments
18 Oversee the preparation of title information sheet, jacket, and catalog copy Develop and maintain author and agent contacts Tracks manuscripts through all stages of editing, design, and production Consult with authors on style, content, and format changes Solicit pre-publication blurbs Handle special projects as assigned and work collaboratively with the larger team Performs other related duties and support functions as needed The ideal candidate will be detail oriented and deadline driven with a minimum of 23 years of editorial experience and a broad reader with both a literary sensibility and an understanding of the
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commercial. Self-motivated and independent, this person will also contribute actively as part of a small, and highly collaborative team. Qualifications: A relevant background in managing editorial acquisitions A book generalist with a keen eye for both literary and upmarket commercial fiction, non-fiction, and graphics Conceptual and line editing experience Impeccable proof-reading skills Excellent written and verbal communication skills Clear and effective presentation abilities Goal-oriented team player who can cultivate productive working relationships
20 Strong organizational skills and attention to detail Ability to work both independently and collaboratively and to be supportive of other team members as well as authors with timely follow-up skills Proficiency in creative problem-solving, decision making, time management, and setting priorities with timely follow-up skills Hatchette Book Group- Associate Desk Editor: The Associate Desk Editor or Desk Editor will be responsible for editing a variety of middle grade and young adult titles already under contract, and managing other aspects of those books’ publication including generating copy and maintaining metadata. This is not an acquiring role; projects will be assigned by editorial
21 directors. The location of this position is flexible, and can be based in New York or remotely. Responsibilities: Edit previously acquired novels and manage them through the copyediting, design, and production process. Draft copy for title fact sheets, catalog, book jackets, etc. Complete editorial projects and review submissions for the group when possible. Traffic editorial projects through Production, Copyediting, and Marketing, and secure appropriate approvals. Enter and track data in the title management database, ensuring the flow of approvals for deal memos, contracts, payments, etc.
22 Qualifications: 3+ years’ children's editorial experience Broad knowledge of, and interest in, children’s book subject areas and publishing categories, including graphic novels and illustrated middle grade. Excellent conceptual and line-editing abilities. Strong written and verbal communication skills in addition to solid computer skills. Ability to deliver timely, accurate work and demonstrate good follow up and follow through. An understanding of and an appreciation for the ideas of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Demonstrated ability to work effectively within a team setting Proficiency with Microsoft Word, Excel & Outlook
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There seems to be a lot of basic office tasks in these positions, which I predicted. There are lots of schedules to make and keep going. It is important to be proficient in Microsoft office. Obviously, each place has many authors that they consider publishing their work and these positions do look at the written works. There seems to be a lot of basic office tasks in these positions, which I predicted. There are lots of schedules to make and keep going. It is important to be proficient in Microsoft office. Obviously, each place has many authors that they consider publishing their work and these positions do look at the written works. The entry-level positions are almost entirely helping communication with everybody at the company. There were a lot of scheduling meetings and creating documents or powerpoints. However, even as an assistant editor, you can still make recommendations
24 about what to publish. Also, helping to draft the cover and title are a part of this job. Strong revising skills are necessary, which is a writing skill. Having strong English and writing skills are, in general, very important to this job. As far as communication, most of the job duties seem like what you would do as a part of a team, so interpersonal communication is very important. Furthermore, making documents to communicate is a huge part of this job. I was surprised at how much stuff that I missed. It did not occur to me at all that an assistant editor would help come up with ideas for book covers and formatting of the books. Another thing was that some of the jobs do not require a degree in the humanities. Some places either wanted an English degree or experience, while one job just required any kind of Bachelor’s degree. Benchmark 2:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aLQMhs OB8axgiFiPFYzQwBwRDUxdoimZO8WsTR4mWC 4/edit?usp=sharing
Chapter 3 Dr. Amy Clements
26 In order to find out more about this profession, I reached out to a distinguished professional. Dr. Amy Clements is a professor at St. Edward's, the school that I attend myself. We communicated through email where she answered all of the questions I asked her with wonderful information. 1. Could you give me a general overview of what you do as an editor? You should visit my LinkedIn profile and go all the way back to my section called Internships and Apprenticeships (and you should connect with me and Beth on LinkedIn, if you haven't already done so). I was a double major: English literature and advertising, so after graduation, I worked both as a copyeditor and as a marketing manager, publicist, and advertising manager for the publishing industry. There's more to that industry than editing. After I finished my master's degree and started teaching part-time, I moved back to Austin but
27 continued freelancing as a copywriter (ad/marketing/jacket/press release writing) here from Austin and continue in the summer with copyediting, proofreading, and copywriting. We are on 9-month contracts at St. Edward's (for full-time faculty) so in the summer I have time to go back to New York and keep that work going. There are three levels of professional editing: proofreading (the final proofs, before going to press); copyediting (correcting grammar and style and consistency errors on a manuscript before it's gone to the graphic designer; and acquisitions editing. I was never an acquisitions editor: they are the ones who decide whether to accept a book for publication, and they work with the agents who are representing the authors to decide how much of an advance on royalties the author will be paid, etc. They usually do not start out as copyeditors; copyeditors work in production. Acquisitions editors usually start out as editorial assistants to other acquisitions
28 editors. There are far more jobs in the marketing department of a publishing house. In Austin, I was a staff copyeditor for an educational book publisher (that's mostly what we have in Austin). In New York, the copyediting I did was as a freelancer; my fulltime job in New York was always in the marketing department. A proofreader or copyeditor sits at a desk all day and silently checks for errors, and creates a style sheet so that things are consistent within the manuscript (what gets capitalized, spelling character names consistently). 2. What kinds of skills, education, or experience do you need to do this job? It's almost impossible to launch this career if you don't sign up to work on student publications (Hilltop Views, SORIN OAK REVIEW, ARETE ... but especially Hilltop Views). I worked in student publications at UT-Austin, and that's where I learned most of what I
29 needed in order to pass the copyediting tests to get my jobs in Austin. I was not lucky enough to have courses like the ones we've designed at St. Edward's. The Craft of Editing as well as Grammar and Style are a boon. Save those assignments and those books. That said, good copyeditors and good acquisitions editors are wired to be highly aware of verbal nuance. Sometimes the best-trained student just can't spot the semicolon that should have been a comma, for example, or they don't really care ... it's not interesting to them. Most people who do this professionally have always been interested in inspecting words. Incidentally, there may be typos in this message to you because in the interest of time, I'm placing speed over taking the extra step of going back in to edit this message. Copyediting is about inspecting. The skills required to be a good acquisitions editor include business and financial savvy and an assertive personality, as well as an interest in keeping track of what's trending.
30 3. What kinds of written communication do you do in this job? When I'm freelancing as a copyeditor, I write: emails to come to a written agreement about how much I will be paid and how long it will take me to do the job (I do a sample to find out what my pace will be) and what style we're going to use. Once the project is underway, I usually include explanations of some of my edits (why I hyphenate compound modifiers, why the absence of a serial comma has led to lawsuits, etc.). I only do line editing (revising awkward phrases) when asked to do so. The queries I have while I'm editing ("meaning is unclear here: are you saying the bomb was nuclear or the submarine was nuclear?" 4. Who is the audience for these communications/documents and how does that audience affect how you write? For copyediting, the first audience is the author. The suggested edits sometimes need
31 to be explained, in case the author doesn't want to make the suggested change. The second audience is whoever will read the finished product: people who read fiction or non-fiction, or in the case of business clients, the audience might be the U.S. Tax Court or an attorney, or it might be professionals who are reading the report/white paper written by my client. For copywriting: the audience for a press release is always journalists. The goal of a press release is to encourage a journalist to cover the story described in the press release. The audience for advertising is whoever might buy the product. The audience for writing jacket copy is anyone who is interested in potentially buying the book; the jacket copy is also used as the publisher's description on Amazon. 5. What are the characteristics of "good"
or "effective" writing versus "bad" or "ineffective" writing in your job?
32 For communication between a copyeditor and a client (a managing editor, usually), good writing is succinct, precise (using exactly the right word with the right meaning), and direct without sounding rude. In terms of the books themselves, for nonfiction, the writers whose work sells well are often tireless researchers: they deliver great information that really educates about something, instead of just regurgitating. Their work is free of redundancy, hyperbole, and clunkiness. For fiction and poetry, readers' tastes vary considerably, but the works that are successful reflect a tremendous respect for the reader, with word choice and imagery and characters that draw readers in and have been very, very carefully honed for absolute precision.
33 6. How has digital technology affected the way that you write in this job? Technology has created an explosion of jobs for writers (web content, social media, thought leadership), which in turn has created an explosion of need for editors to proofread all that stuff. Technology also eliminated a job: the compositor. I worked for a while at a typesetting firm here in Austin. The manuscripts came in on hard copy, typed on a typewriter, and the compository would re-type the manuscript into a giant computer that performed all of the font formatting, etc. I would proofread both documents side-by-side to make sure that the manuscript had been retyped correctly. Technology has added a stressful element in terms of on-the-job writing: important conversations we used to have were conducted as conversations, out loud, standing in someone's office or over the phone. Now those conversations take place via email or in Slack etc., where for other
34 industries maybe the writing can be sloppy, but for this industry, all of that correspondence takes place now in writing ... which may be read in court someday. Or as a script in a TikTok video. 7. What advice would you give to a college student who's interested in this job? If you're not making A's on your assignments in Craft of Editing, re-do those assignments and prep, prep, prep, until you master those concepts. And after you've edited an assignment, find someone (me, or another teacher) who can show you what you missed. Early in my career I was sort of reading in the dark. My well-trained mentors would show me what I'd missed, not to embarass me but because it's the best way to learn as an apprentice. Be careful with words: become a connoisseur of spelling and language history. Look everything up in Merriam-Webster online to make sure you're getting it exactly right in
35 terms of word choice. Embrace the variations and the evolution of language, and the diversity of language, but show respect by correcting for consistency so that reader can have a smooth experience and be immersed in the heart of the work, not wondering why the author keeps switching from calling the character Thom to Tom, whose age varies from 43 to 45 depending on which page we're looking at. To those who believe an editor's job is to make sure a set of arbitrary rules is followed forever and ever, while shaming and feeling superior to those who don't know those rules or choose to ignore them, I say, "Thou are mistaken." An editor's job is not to prevent the language from changing. The job is to make sure those transitions of power happen peacefully and with good reasons to back them up so that meaning can fully emerge. It's also good to join editorial groups on LinkedIn, or later on, the Editorial Freelancers Association (which hosts workshops), and to read books by famous
36 editors (Mary Norris's Between You and Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen). Michael Korda's Another Life tells you all about the life of an acquisitions editor. 8.What was the most challenging part of your job? It requires a tremendous amount of focus and concentration to catch errors in written text. Also, I'm now at a stage of my career when I can turn down projects, as I've earned my Ph.D. and made my way up the ranks of full-time professorship, which keeps me from doing this work during the school year. But when I was starting out as a part-time teacher, I pretty much said yes to every possible opportunity to earn money for housing and groceries and health insurance, and this ate into my free time considerably. I would often give up a weekend in order to squeeze in one more project. Fulltime copyeditors sometimes also experience a lot of pressure to be fast.
37 But it's hard to be fast and accurate, and if you're missing a lot of errors, you can't keep the job.
Benchmark 3: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fi3TWJl66frJL7 9jj2-fezr9prLEAHoGOBufxC8hLM8/edit?usp=sharing
Chapter 4 A Second Comparative Analysis
39 There were parts of being an editor that I correctly inferred before my interview. There is a lot of communication over email with coworkers and/or authors. Also, editors pick which books should be published. They read through for errors, and occasionally edit lines. Editors also help decide when a book is ready to be published, as well as working on the book jackets. On the other hand, I learned a lot of new information. I had originally thought that everything was one job, but in reality there are three: copyediting, proofreading, and acquisitions editing. The job description that I originally thought of included all three of these jobs. Also, I learned that the way to get into the industry is through working for college publications.
40 Written communication through email is a big part of what copyeditors do. They also provide a writing sample for authors that include what their editing looks like, how long it will take, and what kind of comments that they give. Dr. Clements mentioned that she also writes explanations for why she gives the comments that she does and what they mean to authors before editing their full work. Of course, once an author hires a copyeditor, then they would edit and give comments for the entire work.
Benchmark 4: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uTr9t_xzHT8M cwV58QvMKolzmjWR7o2dwlsiWArWM2s/edit? usp=sharing
Chapter 5 Writing Sample
42 For my writing sample, I decided to edit a short story written by one of my classmates, Trent Fowler. Below is The Blunder of Fates, followed by my comments. King Archelaus stared down the seemingly endless limestone staircase before him. The darkness was thick, foreboding. It prevented him from seeing further than a few cubits down. The air leaving the ominous cavern seemed to be indecisive on whether it chose to be uncomfortably warm or chillingly cold. It was the sort of place that seemed to want to swallow one whole.
“My lord, are you certain?” Archelaus’s loyal retainer asked.
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Archelaus raised his hand dismissively, prompting the retainer to quiet himself. “I must know,” Archelaus said. “I must know what becomes of my people. And if I must journey to Hades to discover the truth, then it is how it must be.” “But my lord, the Fates hold no love for monarchs. Something horrible may occur!” his retainer said. “Be that as it may, our relationship with Greece has worsened and I fear the wrath of the city states shall soon be at our doorstep. I must know what I have to do to protect the people of Chironica. Do not follow me. I alone was invited.”
44 King Archelaus could hear the congregation he had brought on this journey behind him. They were praying. To Zeus to give him strength. To Athena for his protection. To Hermes for his swift return. And, rare as though prayers to the god were, to Hades, in a plea to allow him to return. Archelaus stared down the daunting steps that wished to consume him, and after a moment’s hesitation, he descended. Archelaus knew well enough to follow the river Styx to prevent himself from losing his way. Its blood-red waters
45 whispered for him to join in, to allow himself to be consumed by its carmine depths, but he resisted. He had work still to be done. The infamous river, perhaps inevitably, dropped off into a waterfall that Archelaus could not follow. As such, he had to stray in order to find its waters again, lower down. It felt as if he had hardly considered straying before he found himself in the verdant green wonderland of Elysium, land of fallen heroes. With nothing to follow and a sudden lack of direction, Archelaus found himself lost in an instant. Of all
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places to be lost in, this was certainly the most pleasant. He hoped to end up here himself one day. But the king had a mission. To find his way, all that he had left was his faith, and to him, that was enough. He closed his eyes and listened, listened until he could just barely pick up whispers once more. He followed those whispers, and found himself at the Styx once more. This time, the river boatman Charon, ferryman of the dead, was present. He looked like fear and smelled like death, but there was an unmistakable gentleness in him, though Archelaus could not tell
47 exactly what gave him this impression. No words were shared between the king and the chthonic god. The river boatman simply gestured for Archelaus to enter his boat. The king, wedged between several souls who had come here under much less peaceful circumstances, found himself tracing the edges of the river with his eyes as the boat drifted lower into the underworld. Many of the souls around him wailed, or weeped, or lamented their endings. They wanted to escape, to leave this place. Archelaus acknowledged the
48 irony that he was one of the only ones who wished to travel deeper. The boat came to a stop in Asphodel, where the vast majority of souls were known to reside. The spirits trudged off of the boat, and Archelaus moved to follow. Charon draped an arm in front of him, however, and prevented him from leaving the vessel. With a raised and cautious brow, Archelaus got back in place in Charon’s boat as it once again started moving down the river. It isn’t often that a mortal is sent a message by Hermes himself. The messenger of the gods has his own
49 responsibilities to take care of, and yet Archelaus was the recipient of a very rapid message- one straight from the Fates. It seemed that the three sisters had influence above even those upon Olympus. Reflecting on this as the river boatman ferried him down even further below, Archelaus felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Down into Tartarus and beyond to the most secluded corners, Charon brought his craft with Archelaus along for the ride. Until, finally, the boat came to a stop. Archelaus was hurried out of the vessel, and Charon hastily departed back upriver.
50 To call his surroundings “reality” would be disingenuous. The walls, the floor, even the river behind him, seemed to be in a state of indecisiveness between solid and ethereal. Archelaus felt he needed to relearn how to walk in order to progress, but progress he did, into a catacomb of unknowable contents. “He enters our domain as such he was called,” a woman’s ethereal voice said. “He cannot understand this. No, not at all,” another said. Archelaus swallowed a lump in his throat as he stumbled into a dark, dark
51 space. “Er, yes. I was summoned? May I assume that I am currently speaking to the Fates?” “He asks a question for an answer he already knows,” another, new voice said. “Truly a marvel that he has survived the world’s throes,” one of the earlier voices said. They were all starting to blend together. Archelaus looked for a source to these voices, but they were coming from nowhere, from everywhere. “May I please request to know what you wished to tell me? In your message, you said you wished to relay to me the fate of
52 my subjects,” Archelaus said, unable to calm himself in this strange, dark, and ever-shifting environment. “Subjects. What a tasteless word.” “A king, with his human herd.” “But perhaps it is time to answer his plea.” “To answer to him how his people will be.” “Yes, I would quite appreciate that,” Archelaus said, bowing his head. “Your people, though at threat from Greece,” “Will find themselves in an unprecedented peace.”
53 “A peaceful union by the end of Fall,” “And you, O King, will still rule them all.” “That is… good news!” King Archelaus said, gladdened, but still wary. “The tale is not yet over, it will get crueler.” “For we have yet to speak of the fate of the ruler.” “I assume that you speak of me once again,” Archelaus said. “Yes, O King, we speak of you.” “And of the man who will run you through.” “A man with blue eyes and hair of
54 white,” “Will end your life without a fight.” “Oh,” Archelaus said. “... I see.” “Goodbye, sir king. Your time is near.” “Soon you will once again be joining us down here.” And with no warning, Archelaus was once again on the surface world. He nearly toppled over from the sudden stability of the ground below him. “My lord?” his loyal retainer said, quick to tend to him. “I am alright. How long had I been down there?” the king asked.
55 “ "Naught but half an hour,” the retainer said. “It felt much longer,” Archelaus said. “Did you find out Chironica’s fate?” “... Yes. The people are going to prosper. The fates have said so. All we must do is create a peaceful union.” The group of his citizens who had made the journey with him cheered. Their safety was assured. Archelaus, however, had much to process. “People of Chironica, I present to you, your new queen!” the priest called out. Archelaus and Lenore, his new wife, smiled
56 as they came together in a kiss that cemented their union. The people cheered, and doubtlessly the goddess Hera smiled down upon the marriage. A peaceful union indeed. Archelaus hadn’t expected that the means of peace which the Fates spoke of would be achieved through the path of love, but there he stood, holding his wife and feeling nothing but love. Her status as a Greek noble was a large factor in the treaty of peace that was to be forged between Greece and Chironica, of course, but it had nothing to do with his decision to wed her. The two had fallen in love,
57 genuine love, when he had taken the Fates’ advice and seeked peace with Greece. A chance encounter was all it took for them to get an understanding of each other, and for love to blossom. Lenore had been wed before, to a man who died a hero in the Greek army. His loss had left a hole in her heart which Archelaus had every intention to mend. All that he left her was but one child. Leon, a boy of only 6 years who shared his mother’s crystal blue eyes. A ponderous curiosity about Leon, though, was his bizarre white hair that he inherited from neither of his parents.
58 Archelaus was no fool. A boy with blue eyes and white hair had just been inserted into his life, with only time standing between him and the prophecy foretold. Archelaus understood that this boy, once grown, would likely be his reckoning. He understood this, and decided that he would act despite it. He had no interest in immortality. If there was a time that his life was to end, and by the hands of his newest son, he would welcome it. Until that time, however, he would raise the boy as his own, and let him want for nothing. “The day has come. The boy is grown.” “Let him seize the ruler’s throne.”
59 Archelaus found Leon in the garden, playing with the dog and his sister Eudora. The boy was 16 now, too old to consider a boy any longer. As such, Archelaus felt it was the proper time. “Leon, I need to speak with you,” Archelaus said. “Coming, Father!” Leon called, immediately approaching the king. “What is it you wanted to talk with me about?” “You are grown now, Leon, and you have grown into a strong and worthy man. I believe that in due time, you will be ready to rule this kingdom on your own,” Archelaus said, pride in his heart.
60 “I should hope so. For what other purpose would I be receiving all of the tutoring I have thus far?” “There is something you do not know, however. A prophecy,” Archelaus said. “A prophecy?” “Before I met your mother, the Fates told me that a man with your description would be my end. Your blue eyes. Your white hair,” Archelaus said, punctuating the last point by pinching a strand of the prince’s snowy locks. “That’s ridiculous, Father. I would never! Don’t accuse me of such a thing!” “Calm yourself. It is alright. I simply
61 wished to tell you…” the king smiled, “that I believe you will be a great king. And if you feel that I must be removed in order for your rule to begin, then I will welcome it.” “Perish the thought! You’ve been nothing but kind to me. I have no intentions of doing such a thing,” Leon said. “I understand, and I appreciate your response.” Archelaus said. “It gives me some peace of mind to know that you have trust in me, too. I feel that we will both continue to earn the trust we have in one another.” “Impossible. Impossible! The boy was
62 meant to kill!” “We must find a way to make certain he will.” Leon needed to make sure that he was not hallucinating when he found a man floating in his room, wielding a scythe. “Are you an assassin?” was Leon’s first question. The mysterious man chuckled. “No, not in so many words. My work comes after assassins have finished their deeds. I am Thanatos. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?” Leon’s eyes grew. “You are… the chthonic god of death.” It had been two years since Leon had learned of his
63 father’s interactions with gods, but he had never expected to meet one himself. “So you have heard of me,” Thanatos said. “Well, death is the business I come to you today to discuss.” “Am I meant to die?” “No, not you,” Thanatos said. “My sisters, the Fates, are… shall we say, frustrated. Your father was meant to be dead by your hand for some time now.” “Respectfully, I have no interest in killing the man who raised me,” Leon said. “That much I have gathered, but some things are out of our control,” Thanatos said. He placed a small box crafted from
64 black wood upon a nightstand beside the prince’s bed. “If the Fates mean for someone to die, they die. It is not up for negotiation in their eyes. However, I am more of a negotiating sort myself.” Leon narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?” “There are many who can bring mortals to their eternal rest in the underworld. Ares has quite a brutal methodology, and my brother Charon’s ferrying comes at a heavy price one way or another,” Thanatos said. “I, however, much prefer the mortals I reap to have a peaceful end.”
65 Thanatos opened the wooden box, which revealed a fine, teal powder inside. “If your father is to ingest this, he will pleasantly drift to sleep and never wake. He will feel no suffering and no anguish. He will simply come with me to the afterlife. And I will attempt to negotiate with Hades himself to have him placed in the verdant fields of Elysium,” Thanatos said. “I wish nothing ill to happen to your father, but the fates will have their truth.” Leon pondered hard on this. A peaceful death for his father, and his soul to be treated as the heroes are? It was very tempting. Very. However…
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“I’m sorry, I cannot,” Leon said. “It is not his time, and I refuse to take his final years away from him.” Thanatos shut his box with a mournful sigh. “I respect your choice, though it is futile. The Fates will not stop. His death is assured.” “Perhaps, but I will not be the one to cause it,” Leon said. “I pray that he still dies peacefully, then. Perhaps I will still be the one to take him,” Thanatos said before vanishing into a puff of smoke. “If they ruin our truth, we ruin their lives!”
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“Time to prepare for a nasty surprise!” Leon stood next to his family as they watched the palace become an inferno. No one was found to have caused it. There was no accident with a torch. The building just caught fire on its own. “We will be okay,” his mother said. “We can rebuild. At least we are all safe.” “Lenore,” the king said, “I believe we both know what caused this.” He looked to Leon. “I believe you do, too.” Leon nodded. What else could it be? A feeling of guilt settled inside of the prince for not having taken Thanatos’s offer.
68 The fire was just the beginning. Storms began to ravage the kingdom, a plague broke out, crops were yielding less and less. The world was beginning to look very grim. On one of the many, many stormy nights, Leon was called to his father’s chambers. Upon walking into the room, Leon was greeted by the sight of his father on the bed and an intricate knife beside him on the nightstand. “Father, what-” “Leon… you know what must happen.” “But why? Why must it happen?” “... It has been said many times that the
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Fates are cruel. I believe it has never been meant this literally.” Archelaus propped himself up to look his son in the eyes. “It is beyond my life now. My people, our people, are being caught up in this petty conflict. I cannot stand for that.” Tears prickled at the corners of the prince’s eyes. “But we can fix it, right? It can be fixed?” “It can,” Archelaus said, laying back once again. “Leon, I have had a full life, filled with joy. You and your sister, your mother, you have all been the joy in my life. I have been ready for the end for a long time. And now, the end cannot wait any longer.”
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He gestured to Leon to pick up the blade beside him, to which the white-haired prince hesitantly complied. King Archelaus pointed to a specific point on his chest. “Pierce here, and you will get my heart. That will be the quickest and least painful death.” “Father…” “Leon,” Archelaus looked his son in the eyes. “You are going to be a great king. Please. Do this for your people, and for me.” “I love you, father.” “I love you too, son.” Archelaus closed his eyes.
71 And it was done. He no longer felt anything as his soul left his body behind. He saw his son weeping below him now, and wished he had chosen to give him one last hug before the end. “Yes, I think that is perhaps a feat worthy of Elysium,” said a voice beside Archelaus’s ghost. The voice left the ex-king puzzled. “You aren’t the boatman Charon,” Archelaus said, or whatever the equivalent was for spirits. “No, I am not,” the voice said. A man with a scythe floated into Archelaus’s view. “I am Thanatos. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?”
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An editor's job is to go through a piece and find any grammatical errors or any place that the writing structure can be improved. Here is what I found in this short story: Page 42 “Archelaus’s loyal retainer asked.” It should be Archelaus’ since the name ends in an “s" Page 43 “then it is how it must be.” then that is how it must be Page 44 “And, rare as though prayers to the god were,” The "though" should be cut Page 46 “unmistakable gentleness in him, though Archelaus” I would make these two sentences to help with the flow of the paragraph Page 47 “around him wailed, or weeped, or lamented” The first "or" should be cut
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Page 69 “You and your sister, your mother, you have all been the joy in my life.” You, your sister, and your mother have been the joy in my life. The sentence was a bit clunky before, and it didn’t make sense to have the second “you.” The dialect of the characters was good, but at times, it could be clunky and have a few errors in grammar.
Benchmark 5: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_mJadEDl1GP LMcXdN_FrzAYT6BjbgF6Almwg4Ig8YKg/edit? usp=sharing
Elena Butterfield 1018 Texas Star Ct Euless, TX 76040 (817)-608-6476 emb.lanie9@gmail.com ebutterf@stedwards.edu
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Trinity High School, Euless, Strong Work Ethic TX
August 2018 - May 2021 Communication, both 4.3 GPA * President’s Gold written and spoken Award Proficient in Microsoft Superintendent Scholar * Office Top 8% * AP Scholar with Skilled in Acting and Honor parts of Technical VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE AND LEADERSHIP Theatre
Teen Action Counsel, WORK EXPERIENCE Bedford Public Library,
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About the Author Elena Butterfield is a Writing and Rhetoric major at St. Edward's University. She loves everything about reading and writing. In her free time, she loves music, exploring Austin, and writing poetry.