OR BOY FRIEND?

The high school experience at MVHS boils down to a few key points: get good grades, join some extracurriculars and maintain a great social life.

And if you’re particularly lucky, get a girlfriend or boyfriend.

The excitement that accompanies the talking stages, coffee dates and Homecoming posters of high school dating culture is unmatched. The first football game, late night texting, hour-long FaceTimes, the blooming, fluttering feeling of ecstasy and attraction: there’s nothing that beats those incredible emotions and events. In many cases, healthy high school relationships greatly benefit those involved, for they help teenagers grow into well-functioning adults with strong social skills and emotional stability. Additionally, through their relationships, teens gain the opportunity to meet people with a variety of perspectives, leading to positive social growth.

While there’s nothing wrong with dating in high school, problems arise when teens begin to prioritize the cultivation of romantic relationships over platonic friendships, when people of one’s preferred sex solely turn into prospects for relationships rather than candidates for strong friendships.

One of the main reasons for this is because high schoolers often feel pressure to date. In movies and television shows, high school relationships are often presented as rites of passage and something that all students should aspire to attain. Similarly, seeing our own friends in relationships or swiping through social media posts of others with their significant others can spark a desire for something similar. Additionally, being in a relationship is often seen as a matter of social standing. A research study published in the International Journal of Chinese Education states that attracting significant others helps improve social standing within peer groups.

However, only partaking in romantic relationships isn’t all it’s chalked up to be. As students, managing school, social life and relationships can be difficult. Something has got to give, and more often than not, it’s friendships. Those attempting to enter relationships may find themselves letting go of friendships in order to make sure they have enough time to dedicate to their romantic endeavors. While making time to give special attention to romantic partners is understandable, focusing all energy on them can lead to wedges between friends. Additionally, one might become emotionally dependent on their significant other, which may lead to emotional distress for both individuals in the relationship. Since platonic friendships often encourage healthy communication, compromises and boundary-setting, a lack of them might stunt personal growth in these areas. If one’s relationship ends and they’ve let go of all their friends, the coping process becomes far more difficult.

This isn’t to say that romantic relationships are a bad ideas. However, by solely focusing on dating, we neglect all the other forms in which love manifests. One’s dating partners aren’t the only ones who can show affection and comfort; our best friends have the ability to show us tenderness and care on a different level. Sometimes, our soulmates are our friends. It’s vital that students pair romantic love with sources of platonic affection, for it helps one feel comfort, participate in emotional growth and experience happiness. Within platonic love, we find real connection, experience powerful emotion and understand the meaning of real friendship.

So get a girlfriend or a boyfriend if you want. But while you’re at it, get yourself a girl-friend and a boy-friend too.