The LOVE Page: Ask Your Spirit

By ALICIA WALTERS @aliciacreates

Juneteenth 2070

Spirit,

I am 17 years old, living at home with my parents. They are queer, I probably am, too, but I don’t like the label. I want love, not labels. All I know is how I feel and I’m in love with many people of many genders and none at all. They have tried polyamory and decided it was “for the whites” and say being with multiple partners was another way to break up Black families. It feels like they want me to be their kind of queer monogamous, focused on making a living and having babies, emulating the heteronormies. I suppose you could say I’m a free spirit, and so are many in my generation. My parents were among those who shifted the culture and passed laws so that queer and trans people were protected and celebrated in every aspect of society. Well, now we have greater freedom and they want to confine me all over again! I love and respect my parents. The way they have loved me has made me trust myself and them. But I’m feeling the need to strike out in my own way. How do I break the news? Where do I go from here?

DearBeyondQueer,

From our vantage point, you are a clear and strong young person full of love and possibility. Continue being in conversation with yourself about who you are and what you prefer. Be in meditation, journal, talk to your own spirit. Get to know yourself before making any declarations with your parents. They are who they are. The stronger you feel in yourself, the less you will need their approval. The more wise you are on your path, the more they may be able to learn from your example. But nobody likes to be thought of as an old fuddyduddy, so let them have their opinions and experiences without needing to change them. It sounds like they love you immensely and want your happiness. So, you go be happy.

Trust your inner knowing about when it’s time to share something with them. If you trust them, reach out when you need support because with love always comes some pain, no matter how many people you’re loving or what their genders or non-genders are. Keep in mind that all of us are flawed, even those of us in the freedom movements. And as parents and caregivers, we want always to protect our children. Perhaps they see polyamory as poly-heartbreak and want to protect you from it. Whatever the reason, trust that it’s coming from experience and love. That said, you are not your parents!

You have your own calling on this planet, your own life to live. With that, comes some risk. Head up, young person. Find your people. Love the hell out of each other. And bring your parents along for the wild ride.

Sincerely,Spirit

I are in love and feel cared for within our community.

And yet, something deep within is calling me to go to where my ancestors are buried and live off the land. I have this feeling that the love of my life is there. Whether that love is the environment or a person, I do not know. Am I nuts?! My grandmama would say I am. Everything she worked for so I could have this safety net, this abundant life, and I’m just gonna get some overalls and be a farmer? Leave my partner for a dream? If I seemingly have it all and yet more is calling me, how could I leave it?

~RiskingAbundance

DearRiskingAbundance,

Spirit, HELP!

Like so many in my generation, I’m faced with an incredible amount of possible lifestyles and options, and yet saddled with the overwhelm of choosing. I am 34 years old with multiple HBCU degrees and no student debt. My reparations check helped me through college and my first years after graduation. With my guaranteed income, I do what I love and can afford a beautiful home in a cooperative multigenerational eco-building where I am an auntie, child, and grandnibling to many. My partner and

We are so glad to hear you are living in the bounty that generations past envisioned for you! And yet we are not surprised that you are feeling a calling elsewhere. There was a time when we worked so hard there was no time or energy to hear our inner callings. And even if we wanted to follow them, capitalism and anti-Blackness made it so dangerous and there was no safety net. Some of us followed our spirits anyway, risked it all to expand our collective freedom, and those are the most elevated ancestors among us. We praise their names. Perhaps it is a call from your ancestors because where they are buried is a place that has yet to live in the abundance you are experiencing. Or maybe there is an abundance there you have yet to experience. Either way, we are not going to stand in the way of your spirit’s calling. Leaving a partnership and an environment of great love and safety is hard. There will likely be pain there. But if you are leaving in love and what is calling you is love, then it is blessed, child. A life of comfort and no risk is not sustainable. Sometimes, you must test your limits to see who you truly are. Your ancestors wanted to ensure this abundance for you not so you could deny the callings of your imagination, but so you could pursue them. Go forth, young person, and live the life of your dreams.

Sincerely,Spirit