Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

In June, Lauren Gioia ’90 delivered the commencement address and offered her life lessons to The Class of 2018.

Almost everyone’s familiar with “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” a piece by Robert Fulghum that acknowledges the lasting value of the basic lessons we learned as young children. For example: Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Clean up your own mess. These are indeed the lessons that Elmwood Franklin students learn here in Prep and carry with them through their whole lives.

As important as these early years of education are, it turns out that there is, apparently, more to learn. In June, Lauren Gioia ’90 delivered the commencement address and offered her life lessons to The Class of 2018.

A graduate of Elmwood Franklin School and Nichols School, Lauren earned her Bachelor of Arts in Art History from Williams College in Williamstown, MA.

Lauren joined Sotheby's in 1998 and has been in the art market ever since. She was appointed Director of Sotheby’s Press Office, Americas in 2010, and in 2015, Lauren was promoted to Sotheby's Worldwide Director of Communications. During her tenure, Lauren has been responsible for the promotion of numerous historic auctions, including the sales of Edvard Munch’s The Scream, The Magna Carta, and The Martin Luther King, Jr. Collection.

As Worldwide Director of Communications, Lauren oversees a network of more than 20 international press officers operating in more than ten countries and travels extensively to support Sotheby’s auctions, events, and initiatives.

Following is an excerpt from her speech.

"On this special day, I plan to share four short stories— lessons I have learned along the way that have taught me something important, and I hope they will be helpful to you as you continue your journey on to high school and beyond.

The stories I am going to share are simple, but maybe that’s the hidden—or not so hidden—part of my message.

While you have many adventures and a lot of hard work ahead of you, what you may not realize is that you already have many of the most important tools you need to succeed and be happy in high school, college, and life. And for you—just like me—many of those tools are rooted in what you have learned right here at EFS.

Lesson 1: Relationships

The first story takes us way back to my time in Prep II. I was brand new at EFS, and early in the fall, we took a field trip to a pumpkin patch. Everyone got to pick a pumpkin, and the only rule was that you had to be able to carry it on your own.

Those of you who know me won’t be surprised to learn that I selected a pumpkin that was way too big for my fiveyear-old self to carry, and of course, I needed help. Thanks to a very kind parent volunteer on the trip, my pumpkin and I made it back to the bus. And thanks to her, I made a new friend, her daughter Sarah, who you all know as Mrs. Duddy.

Our friendship grew and endured high school and four years at different colleges. After graduation, Mrs. Duddy held me to a childhood promise to move to New York City, and even though I didn’t have a job, I couldn’t let my friend down. So off we went from the pumpkin patch to the Big Apple.

Moving to New York was obviously transformative to my career and life. Not only did Mrs. Duddy and I log thousands of hours of laughter and too many adventures to count, but I also found my way to Sotheby’s and to a career in the art world.

And so my first message for you is to be mindful of creating and nurturing relationships. Social media is not a replacement for real relationships. Who knows, one of your friends from EFS could end up having as much of an impact on your life as Mrs. Duddy had on mine.

Lauren Gioia ’90 with classmate and Lower School Head Sarah Mitchell Duddy ’90.

Lesson 2: The Journey

The next story takes place at Williams College. My sister had focused on art history in college, and so that was the last thing I was going to do—even though Williams was known for its art history program.

I got to school in the fall of my freshman year and filled my schedule with political science, geology, and drawing—not exactly topics that inspired me. Needless to say, that first year wasn’t my best academically.

Coming back my second year, I fixated on what would be my major, and what I would do once I graduated. Once again, I passed up the chance to take advantage of one of the world’s great art history programs and instead got deeper into subjects that didn’t interest or engage me.

The second semester I finally gave in and signed up for an art history 101 class. Not surprisingly, I was totally transfixed and that passion quickly turned into some pretty impressive grades.

From there, art history took me to Italy for a summer semester and brought me home to Buffalo for a month-long internship at the Albright-Knox.

And so my second message to you is to make sure you enjoy the journey and don’t just focus on the destination. I almost missed out on my great passion because I was too worried about the end goal. Experiment, take risks, and allow yourself the freedom deviate from a plan.

And here is a bonus message—you should probably listen to your older siblings; they actually know what they are talking about!

Be a leader and be the one to set a good example for your friends. I promise you won't regret it.

Lesson 3: Find Your Adventure

The third story is from a point in my life when I had lived in New York for a while. I had always been someone who dreamed of exotic travel and adventure. I read books about Africa and was fascinated by Mayan culture. But at that stage in my life, I had a great job at Sotheby's, little time off, and certainly didn't have the money to go on a grand vacation. So I started doing some research on ways to travel and experience communities like a local, rather than a tourist.

A friend of mine from college had recently taken a trip to Alaska with Habitat for Humanity, and I decided to check them out. The idea that giving people a home to call their own could have a transformative impact not only on those individuals but also their communities fascinated me. And the idea that I could be part of that AND see a new part of the world was an adventure I couldn't pass up!

So I applied for my first trip, raised the money to go, and I went off to Honduras for ten days. It was an amazing experience. I made friends, learned about mixing cement by hand, and got to see the Mayan ruins at Copan along the way.

My third message for you is that it's never too late to chart a course for adventure. If you have the itch to travel, make it happen. If you have a course you really want to take, go for it. Learning never stops.

Lesson 4: Stand Out

My final story has to do with sports, but it’s really just a metaphor for extracurricular activities in general— otherwise known as how you spend your free time and what makes you happy!

Sports has played a huge role in my life— both team and individual sports. At EFS, I was exposed to track and field; I learned to ski and play soccer, field hockey, and basketball. That foundation helped me to go on to play field hockey and lacrosse in high school and college and create some of my most cherished memories.

But turning back to my time at EFS, in my day the Options program in the spring included horseback riding, and one series of riding lessons on Tuesday afternoons at the age of 11 changed my life.

My dive into riding happened slowly at first, but soon I wanted to spend all of my time at the barn. Luckily, I had parents who, with great wisdom, saw that specializing in one activity was not the best for me—a decision that was right then and remains so true for all kids today.

Riding was incredibly hard work and required a huge time commitment. Eventually, I found myself competing and winning all over the east coast, and I went on to be ranked among the top ten riders of my age in the country.

While I was riding competitively, I was still going to high school, playing three sports, and seeing friends. Learning to juggle it all remains one of the most important lessons I learned. Having to miss hanging out with friends was difficult, but I had spent the time building friendships that could sustain time apart, and I think my friends respected me for my commitment.

And so this is my final message for you: You are at a point in your lives where most days you probably just want to fit in and go with the crowd. I encourage and I challenge you to resist that pull—stand out and do your own thing. Your friends will respect you, and if they don’t, then they weren’t your friends to begin with.

Be a leader and be the one to set a good example for your friends. I promise you won’t regret it.”