eMAG 32 - Misfits by eMAG magazine

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Dear Reader,

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Normally the ‘dear reader’ part is supposed to welcome you to our beautiful magazine and tell you what the issue's main topic is all about. But in this case, I feel like there needs to be some backstory to all of this. So here we go...

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Here I am, in a place where I never thought I would be. How the hell did I end up here? And no, I am not gonna tell you a fascinating story about travelling or a self exploration experience. No, no I’m talking about becoming an editor. Plain as that. I attended the eMAG course last year mainly because it was part of my studies, duh. And after a couple of sessions, as I saw Angie (former editor, see issue #30) up there, rocking her job, I just thought to myself “Wow, I could never do what she does.” And now here I'm doing exactly what she does. Irony, hm?

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So, why Misfits? I'm not going to sweet talk about how the topic means something to me or that I’m trying to change society or what not. I’m going to be honest, because that’s how I aspire to be all the time. I’m still not entirely sure why I chose this topic, maybe because there is so much to say about it and it had a good chance of filling the pages? Or maybe because at some point, all of us, somehow feel like a misfit. Whether it’s because we’re still struggling with the fact that instagram is not real life or because we don’t share the interests of the society we live in. We here at eMAG traditionally brainstorm main topic ideas for an upcoming issue at the end of term. Misfits was suggested but it wasn’t as popular as other topics. It was, however, the only one I could imagine standing behind. I felt it was a topic that somehow affects us all and we all have something to say about it, and it needs to be heard. Whether it concerns us as a person or the social phenomena we find ourselves in, it is a merciful topic and it wouldn't hurt to talk about it a bit more. So there you go, enjoy these 44 pages. Maybe they'll have an impact on you or maybe you'll go on with your life as usual. It’s up to you. Last but certainly not least I would like to thank the wonderful team that has made all of this possible. Our team leaders and, of course Peter James, our course co-ordinator. Hope y'all enjoyed being part of this awesome project. Yours Sincerely, Ale Editor-in-chief

eMAG is an independent non-profit magazine published twice a year, by students, for students. It is part of a University of Augsburg Language Center course. Everything related to the production of the magazine is conducted in English. The aim of eMAG is to entertain and inform the university community about international, intercultural and local topics in the English language. As part of its philosophy, every semester eMAG donates an advertisement to a local charity. We also regularly publish articles on our website www.eMAG-augsburg.de. The content of individual articles does not necessarily reflect the team's views and opinions print run: 1700 I price: free I published: July, 2018 I printed at: Druckerei Bayerlein GmbH I copyright: 2018 eMAG. All rights reserved I www.eMAG-augsburg.de

t n e t n o c f o e l b a T Keep It Local

Queer Places 7 Let's jam! 8 Purple Carrots and Tomatillos? 9

Losing a Friend At war with my own mind My best friend, depression

29 30 32

Misfits One size fits all? Live the slogan! Back to black #UnibrowMovement Living the quiet life I'm an alien Dungeons & Dragons & Football You will be found Charity article A rainbow in black and white? The fat diet Ms. Fit Thinking outside the Tetra Pak On the way to the looney bin?

Mental Health

11 12 13 14 15 17 18 19 21 22 24 25 26 27

Whole Wide World The art of finding purpose That goes without saying Diverse FIM ArtBender Watch. Read. Listen

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eMAG #32 2018

Queer Spaces Most people know that gay bars exist. Many young people will even have heard of Pride parades, also known as Christopher Street Day (CSD) in Germany. But many never think about why these places and events exist and why we need them. After all, as homophobes regularly point out “there are no straight bars, are there? You’re just inventing reasons to oppress yourself.”

Unfortunately, the university’s Queer Office is currently inactive, but here are some of the most important parts of queer life in Augsburg…

But there are straight bars. Every single bar I’ve been to that was not explicitly marked as LGBT-friendly was straight. And that’s not an attack – it’s just a fact. There are girls and boys holding hands, kissing, dancing… and that’s totally normal. Whenever I want to do something like this at a regular club, I’ll almost always be confronted with negativity, ranging from disgusted glances and distasteful remarks to actual violence. I’ve been very lucky. I never got beat up before for being queer; the worst were drunk men shouting and throwing trash at me. But other people have been and to this day are still way worse off. The world may have become more tolerant but the struggle is not over yet.

The Bungalow Club recently started organizing small parties called Queer Berlin. They take place several times a year and give an insight into the Berlin LGBT scene and drag performances.

And that’s exactly why we need gay bars, clubs, cafés. As long as queer people are not 100% accepted and normalized in society, we’ll have to stay within our own community in order to be able to be our authentic selves and express ourselves freely – at least sometimes. My first time at a gay club was incredible. Knowing I had the liberty to smile at and flirt with girls without seeming predatory or gross or inappropriate was wonderful. I want everyone to be able to experience this feeling. What does Augsburg have to offer for the LGBT community? Augsburg isn’t a small town. Population-wise, 23rd in Germany. Yet the number of queer spaces here is very small in comparison to other towns of a similar size. Mannheim, 22nd in the population ranking, has an LGBT page on its city website and many LGBT-friendly venues. When I visited the city a few years ago just after Pride Month, the entire centre was decorated with rainbows and positive messages.

The best-known events in Augsburg are probably the club parties organised by Lovepop twice a month, who have just celebrated their 14th anniversary of queer parties in Augsburg.

There’s also the CSD Augsburg association, which organizes queer events (like queer movie nights at the Liliom cinema) and advocates for a CSD /Pride month in our city. Another important thing to know about is the Queerbeet youth group. They accept young LGBT people from 14 to 27 years. Their goal is to create a safe community for youngsters who might still be fighting for acceptance in their lives. It takes place once a week, and does all the usual stuff: movie or bowling nights, going out for drinks – but discusses current issues as well. They also collaborate with other organisations in Swabia and have a project for educating people at local schools. We’re on the right track So, it’s not like Augsburg is completely behind the times. We have passionate organisers and events and supporters. But I cannot imagine that this is enough or visible for everyone who needs it, which is largely why I decided to write this article. All you can really say is that things are moving forward. Still, it would be great if they went just a tiny little bit faster. Maybe a few years from now, I can walk down a rainbowdecorated street towards my favourite gay bar in Augsburg.

While doing research for this article, I found that there are more places in Augsburg than I anticipated, but information can be hard to find – and if you’re not already integrated in the city’s queer community, it’s very scary to venture there by yourself.

Author & Layout: Sora

Let's jam!

Upholding Jazz Tradition in Augsburg Where do clueless jazz musicians go to peddle their passion? More importantly, where can they go to refine their skills and gain experience? The Friday Jazz Session of course! Once a month, jazz musicians from Augsburg and beyond convene at Mohrenkönig, a friendly locale in the Antonsviertel, to take part in the tradition of the jam session. This particular session was founded by Dietmar Liehr (51) in 2014. The highly sought after guitarist graciously agreed to let me pick his mind to discuss his “labor of love,” the Friday Jazz Session. C: Dietmar, you're a highly respected, and more importantly, a highly active musician but you never made it your day job. After 30 years in the 'business,' do you consider yourself a professional or rather D: I'd rather call myself an amateur because it stems from the word amare meaning 'to love'. I probably spent more time on music than I did on my professional career as a graphic designer. C: As a native of Augsburg, you must know quite a bit about the jazz scene in Augsburg. D: The jazz scene comes in waves. There are times where there's an increased interest from the audience and from the hosts. C: Were you inspired to start the Friday Jazz Session in one of these 'phases'? D: Not really. When I moved to the neighborhood, I was so happy that there was a pub that I could play at just around the corner, whenever I wanted, which has always been a dream of mine. The owner of Mohrenkönig was very welcoming and would let me organize regular concerts. In August 2014 I played a gig, and Susanne Order, a brilliant clarinet player and a couple of other really good musicians came by and at the end of this concert we had our own jam session. The owner saw this and asked if we could make it a regular thing.

C: Very organic. D: Yes and since the circumstance allowed it, I decided to do it. I had the experience, I had enough equipment to share, plus it brings people and musicians together in a mostly peaceful way so why not do it? C: There are a few other jam sessions in Augsburg. What makes your session special? D: I see it as a supplementary offer with an especially welcoming atmosphere. Anyone with a genuine love for jazz will get their shot. Also our session is on a Friday, which means amateurs with day jobs can also take part. C: Do you yourself see any profits from the session? D: By profits you mean monetarily? None. Unlike other jazz sessions, there is no entrance fee, just a hat. All the proceeds in the hat go to the house band. C: You organize, you promote, you function as the sound technician but you don't directly profit from your session. It seems like a thankless job. Why keep going? D: Laughing* Good question. It can be a little taxing at times, on my energy and on my time. But for the most part I enjoy it. The biggest reward for me is seeing younger musicians grow in their skill and in their confidence. It reminds me of how I got started. I would've never become the musician that I am today if it hadn't been for the sessions. Interested? Check out the Friday Jazz Session website to find out more about upcoming dates at http://friday-jazz-jam.de

Author: Chaz Lemberger | Pictures: Andreas Skowronek & Oliver Weissmann | Layout: Maike Sandker

Purple carrots and tomatillos? Exotic vegetables from local fields | Solidarische Landwirtschaft Augsburg - about the project Have you ever seen purple carrots? Or heard of tomatillos? No, they've not been invented by some crazy food scientist. In fact, they're grown around Augsburg. So if you're curious to try some interesting food and – at the same time – want to support environmental sustainability and fair treatment of farmers, you should join the Solidarische Landwirtschaft Augsburg. Solidarische Landwirtschaft Augsburg - about the project Local farmers and gardeners provide people who participate with eighty different kinds of vegetables a year. What exactly you get depends on the season, so you have the opportunity to try a variety of new food. Everything is organic and grown around Augsburg in order to avoid long-distance transport. Members pick up their share of the harvest at one of the association's several locations in Augsburg every week. You're also invited to take part in decisions about what the farmers should plant and you're very welcome to help them. Interview with Bruno Marcon, one of the founding members Why should you become a member of the Solidarische Landwirtschaft Augsburg? We want to support regional smallholder agriculture and offer an alternative to industrialized farming with its profit orientation, monocultures and genetic engineering. Participants obtain the vegetables for at least one year. In this way the farmers' income is guaranteed and they can plan in advance. People who take part in the project get high-quality, organic vegetables, know about the farming methods used and can get to know the farmers personally.

Participation and cooperation are important principles of your project. What can people do to support it? Without participation the project wouldn't exist. We are independent of any parties, of government and city institutions. Our members work in the depot and in the info-shop and do all of the administrative work. Many people also help in the fields. All commitment is on a voluntary basis. What do you have to do to become a member? Just participate. We're even happier if people help us to achieve our goals and continue our work. It would be best if you come to our infoshop, which is located at the Oberer Graben 9, on Monday at 6 pm. You'll meet a lot of kind people there. At the back of the house, you can see how the harvest work is distributed. For more information, visit the website: www.solidarische-landwirtschaft-augsburg.de

Author: Christina Perchthold | Picutres Manfred Czygann | Layout: Andreas Böhm

How many members do you have and what kind of people participate? Our group is a mix of people from all different social backgrounds and age groups. Currently, four farmers provide 125 people with vegetables. We're always happy to welcome new members. Is it affordable for students? Participants pay €53 a month, and in return they get a share of every week's harvest. As it is usually a lot and therefore enough for several people, the project is particularly suitable for flat shares.

lot Author: Christina Perchtold| Pictures: | Layout: Author & Pictures: | Layout:

Infobox Here you can give extra information, • use • bullet • points, or basically write anything that doesn‘t quite fit to the rest of the text. You‘re very free with the design as well. Just try to avoid a black frame (looks like eulogy).

Author: | Pictures: | Layout: Author & Pictures: | Layout:

One size fits all?

- No thanks!

“Misfit: someone who is not suited to a situation or who is not accepted by other people because their behaviour is strange or unusual.” This is the definition I found when I first tried to uncover the true meaning of the word misfit. In all honesty, I’d love to say that this explanation was incredibly helpful. However, I kind of felt like it didn’t represent the precise meaning of the term. So, I decided to search for a more satisfying answer…

Or - and that is something that I found rather intriguing - the idea that the expression has changed its meaning, a process which is similar to what has happened to the term geek these last few years. This could be because of trends, TV shows or social media. For example, since The Big Bang Theory, being a geek seems to be cool; the same thing could have happened to misfit thanks to the incredibly entertaining TV show Misfits.

The beginning of my journey This semester’s topic ‘misfits’ led to quite a few discussions in our team. Not only was there a bit of confusion about the meaning of the word itself, but also the fear of treading on someone’s toes by making them feel like an outsider. On my journey to unearth the spot-on denotations, I did what every hard-working student would do first and looked up definitions and synonyms. But the definitions weren’t too helpful as they didn’t seem to leave any free space for interpretation. The synonyms, on the other hand, were interesting, though, but with some of them I wasn’t too sure if they cut right to the chase of the matter (check out some of the synonyms below in the info box!). It’s not easy as a non-native speaker. However, I had an idea to solve that irksome problem. As I work in an Irish pub, it’s quite easy for me to find some native speakers to talk to about the whole ‘misfits issue’. And I wasn’t going to get disappointed…

Ask yourself the question All these different opinions left me in a quite quizzical state of mind. What really got me going, though, was when one of my guinea pigs – after discussing the topic with him for a quite long time – he told me to ask myself the following questions. Is being a misfit negative? How would you feel if you were called a misfit? Am I a misfit? I thought about it, and seriously, I can see what all the fuss is about. I mean not fitting in somewhere doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it? Most of us have probably felt excluded before. I certainly have. Getting married and divorced at a young age and being judged because of it, was one of the occasions I felt like a misfit. But is that really such a bad thing? My honest answer is no! Going with the flow might be the easier way to live. But think about this for a second: if we were all exactly alike, the world would be incredibly boring.

What do native speakers of English have to say? After a pint of Guinness, my costumers at the pub were in full flow. The initial reaction was always that the word ‘misfit’ has an extremely negative connotation. But as I continued questioning them, the answers got more and more philosophical. These were some of the reactions I got: A misfit is someone who could conform but doesn’t choose to. Being a misfit isn’t something other people turn you into but something you turn yourself into. If someone calls you a misfit, you just got to ‘own it’.

Make weirdos great again! As you see, our main topic can quite easily be misunderstood (pun intended). We definitely don’t want to judge anyone or pigeon-hole anyone as a misfit. No one has the right to. Instead, what our team wants to do is to celebrate everyone who stands out from the masses, who embraces being different, who has unusual hobbies, weird ticks, their own authentic style or an opinion that doesn’t fit in with the collective. In short: every fish out of the water flapping around out there.

Author & Pictures: Jessica Jones| Layout: Sora

Live the slogan! Do what you love and love what you do I‘ll be thirty next year. Last year I decided to start all over again. I quit my well-paid, safe job and moved from Hamburg to Augsburg. Some people thought I was crazy; others thought my decision brave. I can’t understand either opinion. These days you can find slogans like “carpe diem” and “do what you love, love what you do” on every other t-shirt, mug or tote bag. But nobody does it.

Why I hated it

Why I needed change

Everyone wants to fulfill their dreams and live life to the fullest, but not everybody has the courage to do so. That is why people couldn’t understand why I’d changed my mind again, after doing something that had nothing to do with becoming a teacher at all and then going back to it.

I was nineteen when I did my Abitur and had no idea what to do with my life. All I knew was that I wanted to go to Hamburg and that’s what I did. At that point, I already knew I wanted to become a teacher, but I didn’t get a place at university for the course. Instead, I moved to Hamburg and did a BA in American and British literature and cultural studies, but I didn’t know what to do with it. So, I changed my mind completely and trained as an assistant tax consultant. One of the not-so-fortunate decisions of my life so far. Everything about being a tax consultant was horrible. I changed the companies I worked for several times, but it only got worse. But I stayed in Hamburg for another couple of years and worked in a job I hated.

Every day I got up, went to work, had an awful day, went home, ate and went to bed. I hated my life and nobody understood my problem. Well not nobody, but most people didn’t understand: “You’ve got a safe, well-paid job…what’s your problem?” My problem was that I was unhappy.

Why I just did it In my opinion, if you hate something and you have the opportunity to change it, take the chance. This is your life. Nobody has to live it but you. That is why changing my life was never a brave or crazy decision to make. It was simply the right one. I took my chance and now I love what I do and do what I love. I chose happiness and I think everyone should.

: Author & Layout: Maike Sandker| Pictures: Ricarda Fedler

Back to black The story of tragic rock’n’roll coincidences Call it an anomaly or an interesting piece of musical trivia without a need for further consideration, but the 27 Club phenomenon is well known among music business professionals and fans of popular music. The 27 Club story Is it a tragic coincidence, fate, someone’s will or just the consequence of a life which has been experienced and forgotten too fast? Nobody knows, but Alexandre Levy, a composer, pianist and conductor was the first to die at the age of Twenty-seven in 1892 and many artists, rock stars and actors have done so after him. What is the 27 Club? The 27 Club is a list of artists who died at the age of 27, often because of drugs and alcohol abuse or by violent means such as homicide, suicide or traffic accidents. There are more than sixty members in the club, and most of them you wouldn’t even know, like the soul singer Linda Jones, the graffiti artist Jean-Michel Basquiat and the latest member, the American rapper, Fredo Santana.

Soul Sacrifice Strangely enough, there's often a media build up around these people before their death which documents their odd behaviour or personal problems. Were these deaths premeditated and part of some kind of sick ritual carried out by an occult-minded elite? Are stars grown up and led to fame in order to sacrifice them later, creating a worldwide mega-ritual? That’s what many people believe. Statistically, in fact, the fact that a so large amount of famous people died at the same age is pretty bizarre and indicates that there is a hidden will behind it - meaning that someone out there is pushing for this to happen or there’s a subconscious force in these people drawing them towards their death. The 27 Club will probably always remain a mystery covered by a thick veil. The real question is: who’s next?

But everybody knows about Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, who all died at the age of 27 between 1969 and 1971. At the time, the coincidence gave rise to some comment, but it wasn’t until the death of Kurt Cobain that the idea of the “27 Club” began to catch on. In 2011 Amy Winehouse died at the age of twenty-seven, making of the Club the heart of medias’ attention once more. Three years earlier, she had spoken with some close friends about dying at that age, just like some of her favourite music stars. ’’It was almost as if she wanted to die young, to leave a legacy, and to be remembered for her music and her voice. Sadly, she was all too aware of the 27 Club and was never scared to join it.’’ That’s what Alex Haines, her former personal assistant, declared after her death. The question is why did she want to die at that age?

Author & Pictures: Mattia Lombardi| Layout: Stephanie Tradt

#UnibrowMovement United against society’s beauty standards She’s young, blonde and beautiful, has gorgeous blue eyes and – a unibrow. Model Sophia Hadjipanteli’s extraordinary appearance breaks with today’s idea of beauty. The 22-year-old Greek Cypriot American proudly wears her unibrow despite what other people may think. The Frida Kahlo of our time With 175k followers on Instagram – and counting – she reminds a lot of people of the Mexican painter Frida Kahlo, who liked to paint herself just as God had created her: with a unibrow above her eyes and a moustache above her upper lip. With her distinctive appearance she refused to give in to certain societal pressures. But Frida Kahlo’s 55 self-portraits were created in the last century. So what about Sophia taking over Frida’s role and representing it in today’s world? She doesn’t pluck or wax her eyebrows for one simple reason: she doesn’t want to. Her mission is to normalize something that society pressurizes us to hide or fix. And why pluck your eyebrows and wax your legs, if you don’t want to? Just to fit in? To achieve something society has taught us to recognize as ‘beauty’ ? In order to get this message across, Sophia has even created the #UnibrowMovement, under which you can find plenty of supporting posts. Society’s way of telling us how to feel Sophia has as many haters as she has supporters. Words like ‘yuck’, ‘disgusting’ or being accused of not taking care of herself are not unknown to her. To be honest, the first time I saw her I felt a bit strange and I bet most of you’ll feel the

same. My second thought was: do I have to feel bad if I don’t like it? The answer is: no. We don’t have to feel bad, because this reaction has nothing to do with our personality. Society has trained us to detect anything that doesn’t match the idea of beauty and consider it ‘strange’ or even ‘disturbing’ . Feeling this way is not a matter of personality but a matter of society’s development. Flawless. That’s what our idea of beauty is today: flawless. Smooth, bright skin, shiny hair and an itty-bitty waist. And if you don’t meet these standards, what does that make you? Not beautiful? Beauty ideals put a lot of pressure on us, so Sophia is a reminder that this definition of beauty is not fixed and that there’s room for individuality and change. This is beauty. Beauty is individual and so much more than perfect selfies. Let’s embrace our ‘flaws’ and – most importantly - let’s stop thinking of them as such . That birthmark you hate so much, the scar on your left arm or the unibrow you’re just tired of removing; that’s what makes you you. That’s what makes you beautiful.

Author & Pictures: Lena Zimmermann | Layout: Filiz Özer & Sora

Living the quiet life What it’s like to be deaf for one day Imagine spending an evening with your friends. Everyone is having fun, talking and laughing, but you can’t catch any of it except for vague noises and mouths moving. And nobody really seems to care. I’d never thought about what it must feel like to be hard of hearing until I was asked to try it out for one day: I was attending a seminar about deaf children and the lecturer asked us to try to spend a day as a deaf person. Even though I wasn’t too excited about it at first, it turned out to be an important lesson. What would others think?

one important thing: we tend to be impatient with other people. I was often annoyed by people not understanding what I was talking about (they weren’t necessarily deaf). Doing this experiment showed me what a person who is hard of hearing must feel like. We’ll all get old someday and will probably have a hard time hearing, so we should think about ways to support these people. Always speak loudly and clearly. Avoid background noises. But most important: be patient.

Of course, I couldn’t really turn into a deaf person and I’d never claim to know what it means to be unable to hear. But wearing headphones and earplugs gave me a sense of what it feels like to barely hear anything. I chose a Saturday for my experiment and I didn’t have many plans for that day. You see, I was quite hesitant about the whole thing: how would people react to my inability to hear? Growing impatient At breakfast with my family everybody seemed to be fine. They all knew about the experiment, and tried to be patient and repeated everything I didn’t hear. But soon the mood changed: they all seemed to get annoyed and began to treat me as if I couldn’t understand. Which was right to a certain extent: I had a hard time listening but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t able to understand! When someone can’t hear properly, other people often think that this person is less intelligent, so often they don’t even try to explain. So I was hoping for an improvement when I met my friends. But I had to abandon these hopes very quickly. We had a good start but as the evening went on, I felt completely left out. They just kept talking at the same time. I just couldn’t follow the conversation. And when I asked them about what was going on, they just wouldn’t explain.

Did you know? The word deaf derives from the Old Saxon word dof, which originally meant dumb. This shows that deaf people used to be considered less intelligent than other people.

“Blindness separates people from things; deafness separates people from people.” I know my friends and family - they’re very nice people and they wouldn’t exclude anyone intentionally. But on this day they did. Maybe it was because they weren’t too serious about the experiment. Or maybe their behavior was unconscious? Either way, I’m thankful they made me feel like I was left out because it helped me to realize

Author & Pictures: Ramona Meisner | Layout: Yixuan Yu

Author: | Pictures: | Layout: Author & Pictures: | Layout:

I'm an alien I’m a Chinitalian in Augsburg

Have you ever experienced the weight of other people's eyes on you, so intense that you start thinking you’re an alien? The gazes remind me of the red eyes of nocturnal animals in the wild forest. The anxiety that increases with each step you make. The disturbing silence around you. The uncomfortable feeling that makes you look at your own feet, afraid to make the tiniest sound. OK, this seems really drastic, but I want you to understand how I felt when I moved from China to Italy, and, later, Germany.

Am I better than Dora the Explorer? I was born in China, grew up in Italy and now I'm studying in Germany. Many people think my life is cool because I've lived in different countries, and maybe they're right... I mean, sure, my life is more exciting than Dora the Explorer’s. But behind every crystal vase, different difficulties are hidden. Yixuan in Wonderland At the age of seven, I moved to Italy. It's a beautiful country but as a child I didn’t give much importance to the historical buildings or allies. That’s why at first the thing that surprised me most was the language. It was completely new for me. To my ears it sounded like the R2D2 robot’s communication from Star Wars or like someone singing along to a song they didn’t know the lyrics to. I felt I’d lost myself in a new world. Aren’t we all the same? At first I thought I wasn't any different to the Italians; in fact, when you're a child, you don't really pay attention to a person’s outward appearance. Well, I hope it's the same for you - otherwise you’re perfect for the part of the clique led by queen bee Regina (if you don't know what I'm talking about, just look for the movie Mean Girls). I realized I was different when people started to tease me about my eyes and my behavior. But my world collapsed and sadly I couldn't change my appearance like Goku from basic form to Super Sayan. It was a serious blow that has marked my entire life. This is why still now I sometimes feel so different and uncomfortable with others. I’m stronger now than I was, but some of my fears haven’t left me. Every wound leaves a mark and a scar will remain forever. F**k the others - love yourself Another problem is that moving to so many places makes it difficult to identify with one country. Sometimes you feel closer to one country than the other two. Sometimes all three feel like home and sometimes none of three seem to be a part of you. I’m confused about my identity. However, as time passed by, I’ve learned who I am and what kind of person I am. So accept yourself, love yourself, f**k the others. Be brave - stand up for yourself. Everyone is strange. Everyone has their own world, and feels alien in other people's worlds!

Author & Pictures, Layout: Yu Yixuan

Dungeons

Dragons & Football

Raiding the endboss of misunderstanding Comic books are not cool right? No way! While fans of Marvel's most popular heroes already have arrived in the realms of the mainstream, followers of the direct competitor DC haven't been as lucky, only the Dark Knight Batman is an established staple in the movie industry. Many fans saw this movie more as a comprimise, since it shows clear characteristics of a thriller and less the classical comic book realization. So, in a way, it portrays a wrong picture of the world it plays in. You see, it is less socially acceptable to 'fangirl' on about the original comics. But should that really matter? Which hobby is the coolest? So what if you like to read comic books, play Dungeons & Dragons, or are into cosplaying, if you love gaming or anime? These are perfectly fine hobbies and no one should be afraid to embrace them. Maybe you remember from your school days how the popular kids mocked you for your interests. But they had no right in doing so. Just think of it that way: what in the world makes their hobbies - like sports and partying - any cooler than yours? Does anybody make fun of their football club? No, because someone decided that these hobbies are 'cooler' than all other's. The Oscars of the fantasy world Isn't gaming a sport? Instead of a ball you use your mouse and instead of a bat you use a keyboard. But after all it is just an activity to compete with your friends and strangers, just like any sport. Also most people only watch sports in the same way you watch streams or let's plays, so the two might be more similar than one would think. Isn't D&D acting? You put so much thought into your very own character, painting out every little detail about them and then portraying them in an Oscar-worthy performance. That sounds pretty much like acting to me. And aren't comics and manga one of various forms of art? Awesome books with fancy drawings, why wouldn't they be art? How to defeat the dragon of hate The point is, love your hobbies. Embrace them. But more importantly, if anybody mocks you for loving what you love, educate them rather than hate them. Show them why you like it. Who knows, maybe Magic- the Gathering is just what the former bully needed in his afternoons. Maybe the popular girl makes for the perfect dungeon master. You can't know without trying. But in return, try to understand their interests. Hating them for hating you doesn't solve any problems Try to see what they like about their hobbies and maybe you will discover something new, something you love doing. It is about inclusion rather than exclusion. But it has to go both ways.

Author: Philipp Montin | Layout: Tristan Menzinger & Andreas Bรถhm

YOU WILL BE FOUND Why a Broadway musical makes you cry like a baby . ‘Have you ever felt like nobody was there?' Since the musical Dear Evan Hansen opened on December 4 in 2016, it's been sold out, raising this question almost every night of the week. The story of a boy dealing with social anxiety and depression in today's world has never felt more thrilling - and a musical has never hit so close to home. No one deserves to be forgotten Evan Hansen struggles with severe social anxiety, depression and having no friends. His only ray of hope is Zoe Murphy, a fellow student he's in love with. But how is he ever going to talk to her? As a therapeutic task, Evan writes letters to himself about why this day is going to be a good one, each of them starting with ‘Dear Evan Hansen'. On the first day of school, Zoe's bullying brother Connor finds one of these letters and since Zoe is mentioned in it, he grabs it and takes it with him. After days of silence, Connor's parents tell Evan that their son committed suicide. They think the letter that they found was a suicide note, addressed to Evan. Evan, completely overwhelmed by the situation, tries to set things right, but fails. He compulsively starts to lie that he and Connor were best friends. For the first time, he feels accepted by others, including his love Zoe. He starts to construct a maze of lies, but will the truth eventually come to light? A ‘truth reflected on stage' Let's face it: who hasn't felt lonely at least once in their life? The lyrics the composers Benj Pasek and Justin Paul use are something each of us can relate to. From asking if anyone would notice if we disappeared tomorrow to telling how someone feels invisible, Dear Evan Hansen addresses those tough, heavy issues. Evan Hansen is a symbol of the impact today's society has on us. There's a feeling that we have to fit in. We have to be ‘normal' and must have a lot of friends. We have to be free of mental disorders. Because he wants to fit in, Evan thinks that once he's connected to the Murphy family – especially Zoe – he must keep lying. He's pretending that he's someone he's not, just to feel accepted. The urge to try to fit in makes us do things we don't want to do. Being enough And this is why Dear Evan Hansen is so successful and makes you cry like a baby. Depression and social anxiety effect a lot of people and we should keep talking about it, instead of branding someone as “not normal”. Likewise, how ever important being popular might seem, you should not pass off as someone else. In the end, all that matters is staying true to ourselves. Or as Evan says: ‘today at least you're you and that's enough'.

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music/lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul book by Steven Levenson actors: Ben Platt (Evan Hansen), Rachel Bay Jones (Heidi Hansen), Laura Dreyfuss (Zoe Murphy), Mike Faist (Connor Murphy), etc 6 Tony Awards (the Oscars in the musical business) including Best Musical and Best Actor in a Musical

Author: Ursula Haprath Pictures: @re_shille | Layout: Stephanie Tradt

First book in new series by former eMAG member available now at www.kanehl-texte.de/english/books/

s e i r e s d l i h C ' s s e r e c r o The S Infobox Here you can give extra information, • use • bullet • points, or basically write anything that doesn‘t quite fit to the rest of the text. You‘re very free with the design as well. Just try to avoid a black frame (looks like eulogy).

Her Majesty's Quill

Author: | Pictures: | Layout: Author & Pictures: | Layout:

Picture by Michael Conrad Hirt [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, United States public domain Picture by Michael Conrad Hirt [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, United States public domain

BreakOut e.V. in 36 Stunden durch Europa reisen ohne Geld für Transportmittel auszugeben?

Einfach losgehen, den ersten Schritt machen, Leichtmut und Freiheitsluft tanken. Immer weiter gehen – mit Abenteuerlust und Fernweh im Gepäck. Pläne machen, Pläne verwerfen, Gelegenheiten ergreifen. Ausbrechen um aufzubrechen. Für einen guten Zweck. Das ist BreakOut. Am 6. Juni um 9:00 Uhr starteten gleichzeitig in Berlin, München und Barcelona über 100 BreakOut-Zweierteams. Sie haben 36 Stunden Zeit, so weit wie möglich von ihrem Startpunkt weg zu reisen – ohne dabei Geld für die Transportmöglichkeiten auszugeben. Dabei sind der Kreativität keine Grenzen gesetzt: per Anhalter, auf dem Esel, Fahrrad, zu Fuß, mit der Bahn oder im U-Boot reisen die Teams quer durch Europa. Wichtig ist nur, dass im Vorfeld keine Absprachen getroffen werden und alle Reisemöglichkeiten spontan entstehen. Sprich: mit der Oma in den Urlaub zu fliegen wäre somit gegen den BreakOut-Ehrenkodex. Das Konzept folgt damit der Idee eines Spendenmarathons: pro zurückgelegten Kilometer spenden die durch die einzelnen Teams im Vorfeld gesuchten Sponsoren Geld für den in diesem Jahr ausgewählten "EinDollarBrille e.V.", eine neu gegründete, bereits mehrfach ausgezeichnete NGOrganisation. Was mit den Spenden passiert? Zugute kommen 100% der gesammelten Spenden an "EinDollarBrille e.V." als Partnerorganisation. Durch nachhaltig hergestellte Ein Dollar Brillen, könnten über 150 Millionen der Sehschwächen weltweit behoben werden. Den betroffenen Personen wird durch diese simple Maßnahme endlich wieder der Einstieg in ein Leben ermöglicht, ohne Seheinschränkungen. Sodass das Arbeiten oder Schule wieder aufgenommen wird.

Der Spendenmarathon BreakOut wurde 2014 von Robert Darius und Moritz Berthold ins Leben gerufen und wird zum vierten Mal von rund 30 Studenten ehrenamtlich organisiert. Letztes Jahr sind über 100 Teams gemeinsam zweimal um die Erde gereist und haben Spenden in Höhe von 100.000 EUR für die Flüchtlinghilfe der UN gesammelt. Was sagen eigentlich Carlotta und Georg vom Team Löwenherz aus MARBURG dazu? "Wie weit kommt man in 36h Stunden ohne Geld? Keine Ahnung, einfach ausprobieren! Wir starten unsere abenteuerliche Reise per Anhalter, vielleicht mit einem Trettboot über den Atlantik oder auf dem Heuwagen nach Transsilvanien, egal, hauptsache unterwegs und Richtung weit weg, ein bisschen treiben lassen. Spontan, zäh und weltoffen, eben: Allzeit bereit. Kugelschreiber, Notizblock und nicht zu vergessen unsere Handtücher! Handtücher sind bekanntermaßen das nützlichste was der Anhalter besitzen kann. Und wir wissen, wo unsere Handtücher sind." Wir wünschen Jeder/m auf jeden Fall viele viele viele km!!!

Author: Judy Schock | Layout: Aleksandra Goralska

A rainbow in black and white?

Bi-erasure in the LGBT community

There are many forms of love in the world. So why should there be any limitations? It’s in our nature to spend time with one another and developing feelings along the way is often inevitable. And seriously, who has the right to judge who we fall in love with? Even in our advanced society, there are certain groups that are marginalised. Love, from a theoretical point of view, has so many colours, but most of the time, we only see things in black and white. Either you’re straight and love someone of the opposite gender, or you’re labelled as gay/lesbian if you’re attracted to people of your own sex. The latter group has managed to establish their own lively community – the Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender Community (LGBT). Its members, who usually represent themselves with a rainbow-coloured flag, fight for equality, freedom to love and the right to simply be themselves. However, a friend of mine pointed something out that made me think: “As a bisexual in the gay community, you’re either seen as ‘gay and still closeted’ or as a straight person who’s just trying to get in on the scene. Take TV shows like Orange is the new black. Many women in this show proudly talk about being lesbians. Piper, who is the lead, has relationships with both men and women. Not once is the word bisexuality used in the show.” Shocking… … isn’t it? And it doesn’t just happen on TV. Despite claiming to be open to all kinds of love, many LGBT advocates deny the existence of a certain group of people in their own community: bisexuals. Bisexual people are, by definition, attracted to multiple genders. For example, a bisexual woman could be in a lesbian relationship even though she already had experiences with men – and, of course, the other way around. It doesn’t have to be exclusive. Look at yourself - have you never come across a man or woman and simply thought ‘Wow, he/she looks hot!” even though they’re of a sex you’re usually not attracted to? And what if this feeling of attraction turns into something more? Physical and emotional attraction cannot be controlled. So why is it that people who are bi are

neglected, excluded, or worse, publicly shamed? Why is it that even some LGBT people exclude bisexuals and don’t see them as their allies? Is there some sort of black-and-white rule in the LGBT’s rainbow? Our society has – mostly – accepted lesbian and gay relationships, so why is it that someone being attracted to more than one gender is seen as such a misfit? Some have argued that the chance of cheating increases when someone loves more than one gender – which is, in my opinion, a load of garbage. Some say that being bi-sexual is just an ‘experimental phase’ in life before people define themselves as either straight or gay. Others accuse women who claim to be bisexual of ‘playing around’ in order to appear more appealing to men. But why would someone say that? No offence, but there are other ways to attract men, aren’t there? I could go on … … and on about the prejudices that circulate about bi-sexual people… especially that one story about a woman who went to a gay pride event with her husband and got a lot of hate for saying she wasn’t straight. The sad thing is, that there are a lot of stories like this out there and as I write this article, I just cannot help but wonder why people are punished for falling in love. After all, who wants to be categorised and shoved into a box because of the people they’re attracted to? Think about it… it can be quite difficult to find your sexuality. Some people perhaps think of themselves as gay only to discover some time later that they are, in fact, bi. Like growing up, it’s a long progress and opinions and interests can change over time. …and on I don’t really know what the future might bring – I most certainly hope that people will wrap their minds around the fact that it IS possible to have feelings for both men and women and that there is anything at all ‘wrong’ or ‘ugly’ or ‘weird’ about it. It’s simply love in all its colours – and it’s much more beautiful than a black-and-white world.

Author & Pictures: Alexandra Ablaßmeier | Layout: Sora

The fat diet My month in healthy-eating-habit hell I love food. While others might try to avoid carbs after 6pm, I happily eat a Wiener schnitzel with fries every single Sunday at around 10:30 pm. I never think about what I eat; I just have whatever tickles my fancy. Of course, I try to eat some veggies here and there, but other than that I consider eating a source of pleasure more than a source of healthy nutrients.

Doctor’s orders

Let’s do this!

Understandably, I never expected to write an article about a diet. In fact, I’ve never even been on a diet before, because I don’t have any weight issues. So why did I go on a diet, if not to lose weight? I have two words for you: doctor’s orders. Because I feel hungry pretty much all the time, my doctor suggested I try what’s called a ketogenic diet to help me feel full for longer. On a keto diet you don’t eat any carbs, but lots of fat, so anything you consider really unhealthy – sausages, fatty cheese, butter – you can eat heaps of!

Here’s how my keto diet experience went down: the first few days were horrible, my body rebelled with a stomach ache and I was sure I was going to go bankrupt buying avocados. The second half of the first week I was feeling better; however, it didn’t last long. I quickly got to my low point in week two, feeling tired, irritated and unwell in general. My appetite had vanished and I realised I had already lost two kilos, even though I wanted to avoid weight loss. I managed to get to week three before I cheated for the first time.

How it works

And she ate happily ever after …

The drastic reduction of carbs and sugars forces your body to use fat as its primary source of energy, and since fat is used up much more slowly than carbs, you feel full for longer. A keto diet increases the level of ketones in your body because they’re produced through the breakdown of fats in the liver. This state of ketosis is said to have many health benefits, from better skin to greater mental focus. A friend of mine only eats one (keto) meal a day, but says he’s never felt more energised. For the diet to work you shouldn’t rely purely on animal fats. It’s recommended to eat as many healthy fats as possible, such as coconut or virgin olive oil, nuts and avocados. And in order to get enough vitamins, you should mostly eat vegetables that are low in sugar, for example, broccoli, cauliflower or mushrooms. Dairy is allowed, too, but don’t go for the low-fat stuff. And if you can’t live without it, you’ll have to buy chocolate with at least 70% cacao.

I regretted my weak moment immediately and that same day I swore to stay true to the keto diet for the rest of my life … Ok, who am I kidding? This isn’t one of these ‘I-never-looked-back’ articles. In fact, by the end of week three I had to admit that I was torturing myself with few positive effects and I decided to give up. In the end, the stress of having to restrict my eating habits so drastically just wasn’t worth it. I probably didn’t stick to it long enough to experience real changes, but, hey, some of us are just not fit to go on a diet!

If you want to try the ketogenic diet yourself you can check out these websites to get more information: www.foodpunk.de www.ketose-diaet.de www.ruled.me www.ketodash.com

Author & Pictures: Noemi Hehl | Layout: Maike Sandker

Ms. Fit Blood, sweat and followers Tamagotchis, baggy pants and 90’s crop tops for men have shown: it’s rarely a tragedy when a hype dies. What’s tougher is the months – sometimes years – before the one decisive point where people take a good look at themselves and realise they are hanging on to a remnant of the last decade. And sometimes, this point just won’t come. “Lisa has updated her profile!” You’re at home, sipping coffee and checking your social media – cats, food, beach pics – everything’s fine. But then, all of a sudden, you come across this one blog you hate. This one blog you’ve been meaning to unfollow for half a year: lisa_crossfit_95. What Lisa (if that’s her real name) won’t understand is: we don’t hate fitness, or healthy menus. Even a 10% discount for a no-name sports brand if we follow her and use the code CrossFit4Life on a website with a conspicuously short URL is fine. All of these things are perfectly acceptable in isolation. The problem is, Lisa combines all these things into one blog, updated thrice daily, interspersed with wouldbe inspirational quotes that sound like a combination of Gandhi and American corporate philosophy. All of this in English, because she recently obtained a follower from Australia.

lisa_crossfit_95 irl It’s easy to say: “If you don’t like it, don’t watch.” Yes, you can unfollow Lisa. You can filter hashtags and set your profile to private. But Lisa will find you. For Lisa exists in real life. Even her nonfollowers are familiar with her fitness routine, her meal plan and her preferred brand of protein powder. That’s because, unlike people with hobbies like cooking or knitting, Lisa won’t fail to enlighten any person she meets. Running away from Lisa is impossible, because she’s ridiculously fast and her stamina is just great… She’ll arrive anywhere before you, ready with a protein shake and some leaflets for a public street workout in Berlin two weeks from now. Lisa is, tragically, a misfit in society. She might look great, have an impressive number of followers and know everything there is to know about various sports brands. But Lisa has not understood that even her followers don’t really care, let alone random friends and acquaintances. That’s because we are busy with our own hobbies and interests – that she never asks about.

How did this happen? Lisa is, as we know all too well, not alone. The semi-successful fitness blog is the one leftover from summer 2016, when CrossFit, along with veganism, man buns and Pokémon GO finally reached Germany. Two years later, men buns have been shaved off and vegans are no longer seen as food fundamentalists. But following a trail of Poké Stops, you invariably end up at one of the new gyms that have been built everywhere. And for some reason, this trend has survived. What surprises is not the success of the concept – fitness is, after all, healthy and we do live in a superficial society. What’s weird is that we put up with the social side of the phenomenon.

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Thinking outside the Tetra Pak When milk shakes up your mindset Milk and water are sold in bottles or Tera Paks, teeth should be brushed twice a day and a half-moon is shaped like a vertical crescent. The obvious truth? Wondering why I’m listing all these obvious truths in one breath? For me these very specific things aren’t so obvious or true anymore. It all began with my first cup of coffee in Colombia - where I spent a gap year after graduating from high school. When asking my host father for some milk to go with my tinto (= black coffee) I expected him to hand me a bottle or at least a Tera Pak of milk. I was startled when, instead, he handed me a bag of milk. I’d never thought about storing liquids in bags! I may sound a bit naïve - especially to those of you who have a more intercultural background than me – but this blew my mind! A new way of looking at things From then on, I started to look for those little details - the things that were different in other places. We all know that in some countries they drive on the left. Maybe if we hadn't known about this for so long, we would have been surprised to learn that driving on the right isn’t taken for granted. So, what I mean by ‘little differences’ are those things which we don't ever think about and don’t expect to vary in other countries and which at the same time are too insignificant or too specific to be commonly known by foreigners. The message Things like milk in bags or people actually carrying their toothbrush around wherever they might go, to be able to brush their teeth quickly after each meal, made me question my habits, beliefs and customs. It reminded me to think out of the box, instead of just assuming that the things you grew up with are just normal for everybody and ‘the right way’ to do them. Do it differently! Thinking about it, I have to admit, that in fact milk in bags might not be the cleverest thing on earth, but at least it made me smile and formulate all these thoughts in my mind and – hey – somehow it works for a whole country and probably a lot more. Actually, I've been told they sell them like this in Hungary, too! So I would like to make you smile and remind you that things can always be done differently with the following examples collected by my friends, fellow students and myself...

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Author & Layout: Stephanie Tradt Pictures: Juan David Hernandez Jaramillo

M E N T A L H E A L T H 27

On the way to the loony bin? Anyone can become ill in some way… You might end up being treated like a criminal if you do.

A young man goes into a shopping center in Munich. He’s carrying a gun. At the end of the day nine people are shot dead... The whole country is in shock. The shooter had been diagnosed with a mental illness, which led to his aggressive behavior.

Bavarian Mental Health Aid Law/Act

Critical reception from all sides After receiving massive criticism from associations, experts, politicians and the general public in demonstrations and petitions, Markus Söder (CSU) announced that there will be changes made to the current draft. Many have criticized it for treating the mentally ill like potential criminals, even stigmatizing patients of psychiatric clinics. Having the idea of security in the foreground, rather than effective aid and de-stigmatization, many potential patients would be scared off from admitting themselves to a clinic in fear of being stigmatized by the government. Consequently, these individuals would not be helped by the new law. Admitting yourself to a clinic and seeking help would then be much more difficult for the individual than it already is.

In April the CSU party introduced a new law bill called “PsychischKranken-Hilfe-Gesetz”. Party representatives said that this law would promote public security and order as well as help the authorities to manage psychological crises as soon as they occur. The original version stipulated that patients’ personal data should be stored in a file, which is accessible to the police and other authorities for up to five years, in order to prevent crimes and prosecute those involved. However, this data could have been used against former patients, even if they had already been healed and released from the hospital. Furthermore, there have been plans to the accommodation of patients, which might remind some of a prison: Owning magazines or audio media would only be permitted if the objects have been checked. They would need to come up financially for the accommodation on their own. Visiting time would be limited to 1 hour per day and it would be video-monitored.

Consequences – changes – direction

Voices were heard. The CSU party stated that with the new draft no data file will be established on common patients. Only those posing a threat to themselves and / or the public and that have been released from a clinic or have been forcibly accommodated will be reported to the police. So is this a change in direction? Some still think that the new law will stigmatize patients. We shall see what further changes are made to the law, when it’s reviewed in the Bavarian Landtag in June. This shows us that pressure from the public in the form of demonstrations and petitions can have a drastic effect on political decisions.

Author & Pictures: Tristan Huffaker| Layout: Filiz Özer

Losing a Friend It was four years ago, right before the day I had to start my first proper job. I had my Abitur in my pocket and didn’t know what to do with my life. So my brother got me a job at his company, where I was supposed to pack stuffed animals. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Prologue My mother, my sister and I were out to eat, and the only one left at home was my father. In the evening, a few hours after we returned, my mother came into my room, asking me if I had a boyfriend. I said that I didn’t, since I was single at the time. Mind you, that was a very serious question which could result in a huge argument, as my parents, who are strictly conservative Muslims, thought I was too young to have a boyfriend at the age of seventeen. The next few sentences, though hit me in the face. She told me that my so-called boyfriend’s parents had paid us a visit to tell me he had committed suicide, and they found a letter addressed to me. Identification I was in shock. Who was this person and why did his parents think I was his girlfriend? I had so many questions and my mind started racing. Then she told me that it was a family with a thick Russian accent and I immediately knew who it was. His name was A. He was a boy from year ten and we weren’t even that close. I met him through mutual friends and I knew that he had some mental issues. We had a similar taste in music and clothes which is why I think he might have looked up to me. Actually, I always had the impression he didn’t even like me as a friend because he seemed so cold, but turns out he actually had a crush on me. I didn’t know what to say. All I could feel was my stomach tied in knots and my trembling legs, which made my mother think that the relationship claim was true, but that’s another story. Workplace misery It’s safe to say that the next day was one of the hardest days of my life. First day at work, filled with crippling anxiety and sorrow. I was a mess. I ran to the bathroom whenever I could - just to hide and cry in silence. I couldn’t concentrate at all. I reached out to his friends, and they told me his funeral would be the next day. I was too scared to ask for a day off on my second day of work, as I didn’t want all these strangers to know what had happened. So I didn’t go and spent yet another day crying in the bathroom at work. Instead, I met up with his friends, who helped me get his farewell letter from his parents. His father insisted on handing it to me himself, which I was definitely not emotionally ready for. All I can remember him saying was “He must’ve really loved you”. Why me? I was speechless. On the verge of tears, I turned to his friends and said “Can we please leave?” Our next stop was the youth club, where they kept me company while I was reading his last words addressed to me. They told me his parents only got two lines from him saying goodbye, whereas I got a one-page letter. The whole situation seemed so odd to me. I kept thinking “Why me? We weren’t even that close!” I just couldn’t figure it out. And that’s when his friends helped me fill in the blanks. They told me that ever since he’d changed his personal style and taste in music, he had been treated very differently, as if he was some kind of freak. He went from dressing like every other teenager that would listen to hip-hop music to an intimidating-looking punk. And then there was me, who didn’t really care about those things. I treated him the way I treated everyone I knew. Just friendly and accepting, without any judgement. Whenever we met at school, we hugged on greeting each other and talked. That was normal to me, but according to his friends, it was more than that to him. Apparently, he didn’t have female friends who treated him like that, which is why he started liking me. Mind you, his friends knew all about it, but had to keep it a secret from me as he’d requested. I had no idea. And although I didn’t do anything but treat him kindly, I still felt guilty. Author & Layout: Filiz Özer

PTSD At war with my own mind “People that laugh the most are the saddest”. While I wouldn’t call myself ‘sad’ this quote perfectly captures the struggle of everyone that has to face mental issues. Just putting on a mask in order not to have to deal with other people’s reactions or judgement. I don’t blame them. It’s difficult to understand what’s going on in someone’s head. Especially if they’ve been through a situation that other people hopefully will never have to go through. That’s why I would like to shed some light on PTSD – posttraumatic stress disorder - and share my story with you.

Calm before the storm My story starts where so many others have started before. She was the love of my life - or so I thought. We’d been together for quite some time, and had overcome several challenges. The fact that we didn’t live in the same country was one of them. It didn't pose much of a problem to either of us because we always found a way to see each other. Just as we did that summer. She was on holiday while I had to attend the last weeks of university so she was visiting me here. One day, I came back home and we started arguing before I could even close the door properly. You might say this happens in a relationship every once in a while and I would agree with you. What I will not agree with is how she wanted to handle this situation. When I thought she’d calmed down, she picked up a knife from the kitchen and came back to attack me. Fortunately, this time I was able to close the door between us. Everything after that remains an adrenaline-infused blur of clouded memories until the police arrived. Sometimes, I tell myself it was just a nightmare until I remember the scratches on my door that are merely covered by a poster nowadays. Personally I was unscathed or was I? In the eye of the storm You see, one thing about mental issues is that you can't just see what's wrong at first glance. If I had actually been injured by the knife, there would have been a scar left to be seen by the world. But the scar that this attack left me with remains hidden. It really only started a few weeks after the incident. All of a sudden, flashbacks came creeping back into my mind, starting one evening where I was cooking with one of my best friends. It was triggered by her picking up a knife simply for slicing up some onions. Yet, my mind began to play tricks on me. For the next two months, there was not a single night that I would sleep in peace. Every noise outside would leave me in cold sweat or some of the memories came back to haunt me for the rest of the night. My dog and her habit of pawing at my door certainly didn't help me in those moments either – immediately throwing me back to that fateful afternoon.

History lesson on PTSD Flashbacks, cold sweat, panic attacks.. only a few symptoms of PTSD. It can become a lot more severe when depression comes into play as well. Remember that this attack left me with a very mild case of this disorder. Usually, though, when people hear PTSD, something else comes to mind: they think of soldiers returning home from a war, probably a very specific one, the Vietnam War. Those soldiers' lives would never be the same again after seeing their comrades fight and die right next to them. According to estimates, nearly 30% of veterans suffered from PTSD in 1980 – five years after the Vietnam War ended and PTSD was officially recognized as a mental issue.

The aftermath I know that I’ll have to keep on fighting my own inner war for quite some time to come. Simultaneously, I think that I learned to cope quite well. In fact, it feels like I’m slowly winning this war and can close this chapter for good. Part of that I owe to this very magazine you’re holding in your hands right now. Not only did it give me a way to keep my mind busy with something I always wanted to do and enjoy but also helped me find so many friends that I can rely on. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution but I’m glad I found one that works for me because I can’t imagine where I would be now otherwise. On that note, I would like to end as I started, which is with a quote by a good friend of mine: “Every day you don’t just give in to your inner demons and take the easy way out, you have already come a bit closer to victory.”

| Layout: Goralska Angie Czygann | Layout: Aleksandra Lorenz Anonymous Author: TobiasAuthor:

My best friend, depression Disclaimer: This is not a how-to guide and it’s certainly not the ideal way to cope with such a difficult situation. This is a report. Written after a mental breakdown - simply to get all of this out in the open.

What's going on? Depression is not what many people believe it to be. It’s not just inexplicable sadness and losing the will to live. It’s so much more. Imagine having a split inner voice. The one that is inside you, your gut. The one you turn to sometimes when you’re lost and want to stay true to yourself. And there’s another. The darker side. The demon. The black void of constant self- hate, screaming at you in anger. “You’re not good enough. You won’t manage. You can tell yourself it will be fine. You can tell yourself whatever you want - in the end you will fail.” It’s constantly hanging over your head, blurring your vision and narrowing your horizon to a point where you don’t even see a tomorrow coming. What’s it all for really? Why do I do this? Every time the demons win over my thoughts, it’s like an avalanche; once released it’s nearly unstoppable. All that motivational talk you’ve been telling yourself for weeks? Gone. Every single compliment completely meaningless. The worst part of it is that you have lost control. Having mood swings, being angry for no explicable reason, hurting the people that you love the most. Pushing them away and not even knowing why, leaving you with no one you can turn to. And worst of all: not knowing why this is happening. Not knowing why you have this ongoing rage inside. It feels like something else is using your body to express anger and sadness that you could never understand.

Help? Personally, I’m too scared to start therapy. I’m afraid of what damage my past has actually done to me, and if it won’t push me over the edge when I have to actually deal with it. I sweep everything under the rug and pretend that I can manage. People who haven’t seen me since school and meet me after two years say that I am more mature, grown up. I talk less, but when I do I say rational things. Yeah, well that’s the depression talking. If I tell them what’s happening, they just say “oh..my bad” but not much more. Well, how would you react? How can you react? There’s basically nothing you can say if you’ve never dealt with it before. There’s hardly anything you can say, in fact. Remember, at this point words are pretty meaningless. It’s hard to say when it all started, to be honest. I still have no idea and it took me some time to really figure out that something was wrong. My friend also suffers from depression. Depression, anxiety, the whole package. I never noticed it before, not until we started talking more openly about it. How would I have known? I didn’t even know I had it, until a year ago. I always thought that it was normal. Not feeling happy. I have never been a happy, cheerful person. But the last two years certainly have not been normal. No one is that sad and cries that much just because they’re not happy.

I will never leave your side. I will stand by your side, now and always.

Breaking through the darkness These two paragraphs above were written in November 2017, after a severe mental breakdown. It’s a jumble of emotions that just had to get out. Now, eight months later I’m still overwhelmed by how much everything has changed. Want to know why? Because of this very magazine you’re holding in your hands. I was pushed to take more responsibility and it was strong enough to pull me out of the dark void. The people I met, the work I did - it was like a revelation. I had things to focus on, people relying on me. Finally, a turning point. It was like coming up for fresh air after drowning for two years. I surfaced and I survived. I’m not saying that I’m completely ‘cured’ but I haven’t felt sad in a very, very long time. I haven’t had a panic attack or a mental breakdown in months and I can’t even remember the last time I cried myself to sleep. For me, this was my way out and I am very glad that I had the courage to take it.

If you're struggling and want to get help, this might be a place for you to go to: Zentrale Studienberatung der Universität Augsburg Büro Center Messe, Raum 8011 A Alter Postweg 101 86159 Augsburg Tel. 0821/598-5957 Persönliche Sprechstunde (ohne Anmeldung): Montag - Donnerstag 10.00 - 12.00 Uhr Mittwoch 14.00 - 16.00 Uhr und nach Vereinbarung

Author: Anonymous | Layout: Aleksandra Goralska Author: Anonymous | Layout: Angie Czygann

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THE ART OF FINDING PURPOSE

“When you see me for the ﬁrst time, many of you felt sorry. Do you feel sorry for me anymore?” Nick Vuijcic looks around the group of Australian high school youngsters who hang on his every word - some already misty-eyed. “But don't you remember I have no arms and no legs?” Only twenty minutes into his talk, the energy, humour and overall optimism this barely onemeter-tall man projects make you completely forget his physical condition. A difﬁcult start Born in 1982 in Melbourne without arms and legs, Nick has always been the odd one out. Tetra-amelia syndrome is the name of the rare disease that caused his condition, and of which there are only a few cases known worldwide. After having been bullied at school, he was convinced that there was no hope of ever succeeding in life. He started contemplating suicide at the age of eight, and two years later tried to drown himself in the bathtub. “Irrational fear took over me. Nick, you're alone, you always going to be alone. Just give

up,” he recalls at another event. Now, almost thirty years later, married and father of three children, Nick has visited 63 countries, and held talks with sixteen state leaders. Altogether he's spoken to an audience of 65 million in public events not including the millions he reaches through videos, social media and his books. Besides school kids and students, his audience includes business people as well as prison inmates. "I love my life" Nick's story really makes him an inspirational example for everyone struggling with their situation in life or self-esteem. Yet his most effective asset might not be his words, but his charisma. He looks happier and more energetic than most socalled able-bodied people; his sheer presence prompts you to question ideals and expectations. Ironically, he's a man that cannot even button his own shirt, but who convinces so many to believe in themselves and life's opportunities again. “Life is worth living when you ﬁnd purpose […] I love my life, because I have seen the purpose,” Nick declares boldly in front of the gathered pupils. His purpose, he explains, is transforming the suffering he himself went through and the obstacles he faced, as a way of encouraging others. Each of us can use our own negative experiences for the good. And in doing so, our own lives, as well as those of the people around us, improve. Nick lives this philosophy with every ﬁber of his body and his approach to life is worth thinking about. Nick proves that even from the stones placed in our way to stumble over, we can create something beautiful. This applies to all parts of society, university being one of them. And now it's up to us. Sources: https://youtu.be/6mcY9rBZpow https://youtu.be/RZEBpFwiqv4 Author Niklas Strohe Layout: Annika Lippert

That goes without saying Body language in Thailand When being on holiday in a foreign country, you are – or at least you should be – cautious when it comes to your own behaviour. But as you all may know, that’s not everybody’s cup of tea. Here’s a good message for all those who think that good manner is only about thanking others and … The moment we were welcomed by the Thai Airways crew in Munich, was the very moment I realized that Thais have a special behaviour, a special way of treating others. It was not exactly what the crew said. It was more how they said it, the kind of message their body sent in order to make the passengers feel comfortable. Their voices and gestures were firm and courteous at the same time. No matter how annoying some of our co-passengers were, every communication was ended with a big smile and the gesture for saying thank you (the one where you put together both hands in front of your chest and nod in agreement while saying “kop kuhn kah”). From that situation onwards, I tried to find out as much as possible about the Thais and what makes them appear so respectful in any situation – apart from the famous “Thai smile” which even gave ground to a name of an Asian airline called “Thai Smile Airways”. The Thai’s famous smile Of all the impressions I got home with, the Thais’ never-ending passion for smiling was the one that impressed me most. No matter what issues people came up with, not a single one of all the Thais answered without a big smile. It felt like they were strictly following the saying “A day without a smile is a day wasted”. That somehow made me curious and I found out that a Thai’s smile can mean many different things:

From politeness over embarrassment, frustration and nervousness to indifference. That’s why there are over a dozen words in the Thai language to refer to different types of smiles. Tip: Expand your own meaning of smiling! Thais might just laugh because they don’t get what you’re saying or because they don’t want to offend you… The combination of politeness and smiling will open many doors, not only in Thailand. Maybe we should give it a try more often. No emotional overreactions, please! Thais are brought up with the concept that emotions are not to be expressed, not verbally, not physically. Two people fighting on the street, gesticulating like crazy (pointing to others with your index is considered VERY impolite, even if you meant no harm) and calling each other names? That’s what tourists might do, but not the Thais. In case you might wonder how they manage to keep calm: Their best way to cover their real emotions probably is to just smile! Thais don’t show what they might think. They are genuinely friendly, their culture avoids confrontation under any circumstances. Having said that, I hope it got clearer what I meant when saying “Thais seem to have a special behaviour”. After our extremely wonderful holiday in Thailand and after having read numerous articles about the Thais’ lifestyle, I ended up realizing that understanding human behaviour is trickystuff. We can never know all the rules another person operates by. However, we can at least try to understand why people may act in a certain way. The best single piece of advice for you? – The two A’s: Ask and be aware

Author & Pictures: Maximiliane Hill | Layout: Annika Lippert

Diverse Not only an adjective used to describe people but also national parks in America Heat, a lot of boring rocks, desert areas – if you've never been to a canyon in the United States, these are some of the thoughts you probably have. Last year I had the chance to form my own opinion about some of these places during my summer vacation with my family. At first, I didn't expect too much. They're all parks and so they must be more or less the same – or so I thought. The plan was to visit – in the short time we had – as many different parks as we possibly could. This meant twelve different parks in eleven days: Yosemite National Park, Zion National Park, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Sequoia National Park, to name just a few. Basically, all the parks up and down the west coast. However, of those not one national park was like the other. Hiking in water Have you ever considered hiking in a river? No? Well, I hadn't either until I went to Zion National Park, where the Virgin River has eaten itself 600 meters into the rock. You can hike here, but usually you stand in the water up to your knees and have to wade upstream. It's a day trip so don't forget to bring some food and water. Even though the water makes it less painful, it's still pretty hot down there. You shouldn't be afraid of narrow spaces either, since the river wasn't always as thoughtful as to dig a wide, open area into the rocks. Pictures like Photoshop If you're not good at Photoshop or simply don't want to spend too much money on a program to edit your pictures, visit the Antelope Canyon. This breath-taking natural spectacle is about a five-hour drive from Las Vegas. It's run by Navajo Indians since it's on their land – so you'll have to pay an entrance fee. A tour guide will guide you through the tunnels; it's a very narrow path so two people can't usually stand next to each other. First you'll have to go down some stairs to enter the canyon. The colors are simply out of this world. Oranges, yellows, reds, blended into each other because of the rocks around you and the light from the sun peeking through. Because of this light, in the end you won't have to edit the pictures. ‘Diverse' is usually an adjective used to express how different people are. But in this context I feel it appropriately describes how different national parks can be, and I hope you'll have or already had the chance to find this out yourself.

Author, Pictures & Layout: Annika Lippert

A master's thesis from down under

An interview with Katrin Wyrtki, who wrote her master's thesis at Queensland University of Technology. You wrote your master's thesis in Australia – how did that happen? The curriculum of the Elitestudiengang Finanz- & Informationsmanagement allows students to go abroad for a research stay. Professor Maximilian Röglinger of the Research Center Finance & Information Management (FIM), through his many years of contact with Professor Michael Rosemann at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT), has made writing their master's thesis there possible for a few students every year. I liked the idea of combining the research stay with writing my master thesis - so one thing led to another and I got the opportunity to write my master thesis at the QUT in Brisbane, supervised by both Michael Rosemann and Maximilian Röglinger.

What did you like best? I loved to experience how close work and vacation can be! After a productive, research-intensive week at university, it was wonderful to relax and enjoy the weekends in the beautiful Australian nature. A tip, should we ever end up in Australia? Do not forget sunscreen ;) What was the best food? Nothing beats a typical Aussie BBQ in a public park with an excellent view of Brisbane's magnificent skyline.

What was your research about?

What was the biggest difference to Germany?

In general, my master's thesis is about how companies can generate innovative ideas. Up until now, innovation is mainly based on existing problems or pain points a company needs to resolve. In our research, we focused especially on the opportunities - such as for example digital opportunities - a company can capitalize on. In a joint research project with an Australian bank, we developed a method to help companies generate disruptive ideas - it's that simple!

30 degrees at Christmas! In terms of research, it is great to meet the researchers you otherwise only know as authors of papers you read. The QUT has a very large research community that made it all the more exciting. Anything to add? Kangaroos are cute, but wombats are far, far cuter!

In a word, how was it? Innovative!

Pictures: Katrin Wyrtki | Interview & Layout: Tristan Menzinger

A 48-hour art-making marathon People close to me definitely wouldn’t think I’m particularly gifted in the arts - I’m sure my former art teachers would agree wholeheartedly. Despite my artistic shortcomings, art has always had a special place in my heart. Admittedly, some art can seem completely useless at first glance, but I’d argue it always conveys a message in some shape or form. And, most importantly, art can bring people together to make this world just a little brighter. Art for a good cause What is an ArtBender exactly? It’s about bringing together people of all ages to create art and having fun doing so – all while raising money to support artists with disabilities. Basically, it’s an art-making marathon that lasts 48 hours, and everyone is welcome to join, artist or not. I’d never really heard about a whole community coming together to create art until my American host family got involved in the creation of the very first ArtBender in 2016 in South Orange, New Jersey. The event was created by my host dad, Danni, to pay it forward to his community after an outpouring of love and support for his husband, Dave, who had been diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) two years earlier. They painted an elaborate mural and planted a garden in a local park to commemorate Dave, who decided to be taken off his ventilator a few days later, but continues to inspire people to follow his life motto and "celebrate everything”. The Celebration Garden is growing bigger with each ArtBender - and so is the event itself. So if you’re ever in the New Jersey area and up for a creative challenge, feel free to check it out! Similar projects in Germany … or maybe you don’t even have to travel so far. I’ve never seen anything like an ArtBender in Augsburg, so I was wondering why – or if I just wasn’t looking hard enough. I did some research, but it turned out most art exhibitions or auctions that raise money for a good cause don’t actually include events where people can create and come together as a community. In the end, however, I did find a project in Augsburg that aims to bring together people with and without disabilities while making art. It’s called Kunst & Kuchen, organized by the Caritas Foundation, and I’ll be joining their next meeting. There’ll be cake – what more can you ask for?

Author: Katharina Tancré | Pictures: Danni Michaeli | Layout: Sora

WATCH | READ | LISTEN WATCH - Real Humans Science Fiction | The Swedish science fiction series by Lars Lundström is not exactly well known. To be honest, I don’t know why that is. This format has everything a hit series needs: intrigues, love, mystery and a lot of secrets. Maybe it’s just because it’s not from over the pond? Anyway, in this series, the world has become much easier – at least at first glance. Your housework and errands as well as simple repeated tasks like factory-work have gradually been taken over by so called Hubots, while the humans themselves can rest and have time to enjoy their life. These androids, who resemble humans, take over all those daily chores you don’t want to do and never complain; they can be whatever it is you need right now. And the best thing is: they don’t have any emotions. Or do they? Of course, life would be too easy if there weren’t any critics of the system. So, the critical party who wants everything to go back to the good old time call themselves Äkta Människor (Swedish for Real Humans) and that’s what they want: only real humans and no Hubots. The series can be watched in German or Swedish. READ - Mind Games by Teri Terry Dystopy | Mind Games by Teri Terry is a dystopian novel for young adults and an absolute page turner. Imagine a world where almost everyone wears an implant in their brain that enables them to use an access portal to all the virtual spaces you can think of: classrooms at school, chatrooms with your friends, games, holidays, and so on. You don’t ever have to leave your house; you can live any adventure you could think of without all the dangers. The lifeline pulls you back into your access portal, absolutely safe and healthy. In a world like this, any person who refuses to be part of this virtual community will have difficulties getting along. Young student Luna has beendoing just this ever since her mother died in an online game. She’s a rebel. Yet, the all-powerful PareCo, producer of the chips, wants her as a hacker. No matter what. The book is obtainable as paperback, ebook or audio book in German or English. LISTEN - Dangerous Games by Teri Terry Dystopy, Audio book | The sequel to Mind Games by Teri Terry is as mind-blowing as the first book. Read by Erin Shanagher, we again dive deep into the mind-blowing world conjured up by the author. The roughly two and a half hours make us forget our own life with its sorrows and we can once again enjoy the virtual life. In this book Luna’s daughter Liberty is sixteen years old and she’s different. Her mother leads more of a solitary life with her best friend and Liberty. Luna and her daughter get into fights frequently – as parents and teenagers do – because Liberty is taking on too many risks when plugging into the virtual life. If the girl gets hurt in her virtual adventures, unlike (almost) all other people, she has the same injuries in real life. If she dies in virtual reality, she dies in real life. Yet, Liberty wants to know how far she can go, who she is, where she comes from and who her father is. The search for the truth, though, is a dangerous path to go... The sequel Dangerous Games can be obtained as ebook and audio book in English only.

Author, Pictures & Layout: Angie Czygann

Team Summer Term 2018 Aleksandra Goralska Editor-in-chief

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Tobias Lorenz Peter James Deputy Editor Course Coordinator

Website Tobias Lorenz Team Leader

Alexandra AblaĂ&#x;meier

Maximiliane Hill

Angie Czygann Team Leader

Niklas Strohe

Christina Perchtold

Chaz Creek Lemberger

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Mattia Lombardi

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Lena Zimmermann

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Section Dividers Keep It Local, Main Topic, Whole Wide World Filiz Özer Mental Health Aleksandra Goralska

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„Mein Mini-Me gibt‘s im Uni-Shop!“ Den Uni-Shop findet ihr im Erdgeschoss des A-Gebäudes (Infopoint) oder unter www.uni-augsburg.de/shop

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