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The key to a keeping a relationship healthy and happy is knowing how to communicate effectively with each other. Most people aren’t mind readers and shouldn’t be expected to just “know” how someone else is feeling or what they’re thinking. That’s why you must understand how to communicate. First of all, there’s self-disclosure when means that you trust your partner with information about yourself that you would never tell just anyone. This type of communication typically brings you and your partner closer and makes your relationship stronger. Never assume that your partner automatically knows all there is to know about you. Both you and your partner should offer feedback to each other. This should be of the positive variety and provide understanding and sympathy. Even if you’re not happy about what you hear or you may disagree with it, you should always respect and do your best to understand his feelings. Avoid arguing with him about it. Listening is always one of the most important aspects of communication in a relationship. Don’t get listening to someone speak confused with listening to what he’s saying. It takes lots of energy and patience to completely understand what someone is saying. You need to respect what your partner is saying without judging, yelling or blaming him. If you can do this, your partner will feel that much closer to you and will likely open up to you more. Jealousy doesn’t need to be part of your relationship. Even though many people feel that jealousy is a way of caring about your partner, it’s the opposite. Intense jealousy can go a long way to destroying a relationship. It involves the self-esteem of both partners in a relationship and if one partner has low self-esteem, jealousy is likely to become a problem. Talk this over with your partner and keep in mind that you chose each other, so there’s no need for either of you to be jealous. Last of all; try to control any unrealistic expectations of each other. Your partner is his own person just as you are yours. It’s easy to have expectations that are unrealistic and unfair of someone else, but you must fight that temptation or you may drive your partner away. Unrealistic expectations can make you start blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. For many people, it’s difficult to understand that people don’t suddenly change just because you want them to. In fact, many people have partners that will NEVER change no matter what. The personality of someone has been developing for years; indeed, as long as they’ve been alive. You can’t expect to change that person’s way of being just because there may be something about him that you’ve suddenly decided you don’t like. That’s why acceptance is so very important. Keep in mind that there was something that attracted you to this man. Why would you enter a
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relationship with someone when all you’re planning to do is try to change him? Get your communication methods down to a science before getting too serious. Your relationship stands a much better chance if you do.
About Emily Hintern
Emily specializes in individual and couples therapy and relationship and dating advice.
Learning Effective Methods of Communication
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