em Magazine: Vitality

Volume 24 F/W 2017 Vitality Editor-In-Chief Adam Ward Photo Director Allison Nguyen Assistant Photo Director Noah Chiet Editorial Director Marisa Dellatto Assistant Editorial Director Margeaux Sippell Design Director Julianna Sy Assistant Design Director Enne Goldstein Digital Director Jillian Meehan Marketing Director Ashley Hoffman Assistant Marketing Director Marni Zipper Beauty Director Courtney Kaner Assistant Beauty Director Amaia Rioseco Fashion Director Katya Katsnelson Assistant Fashion Director Amanda Zou Production Assistant Nathaniel Smith 3

Managing Editor Dan Kam Editorial Abigail Baldwin Joseph Boudreau Erin Christie Isabel Crabtree Delia Curtis Marisa Dellatto Jenny Griffin Dan Kam Hannah McKennett Maggie McNulty Jillian Meehan Margeaux Sippell Design Katrina Chaput Casey Denton Enne Goldstein Chloe Krammel Sabrina Ortiz Julianna Sy Morgan Wright Photography Renata Brockmann Noah Chiet Kai Czarnowski Brunei Deneumostier Dakotah Malisoff Aaron Meritt Allison Nguyen Sabrina Ortiz Mana Parker Corey Popowski Austin Quintana Milan Sachs Adam Ward Cover Models Miranda Fayne Oona Baker Bridget Walsh Special thanks to Castanet & All Too Human shopcastanet.com alltoohumanboston.com em-mag.com @emmagazine

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contents 08 letter from the editor 10 cohesion 22 deep roots 26 from the ashes 28 buy for life 30 nativity 40 buh-bye womb 42 master class 48 eulogy to vine 50 with(out) 60 yes, and 62 holy matrimony 64 east, west, east 66 terra 78 dripping 80 unauthentic anarchy 84 continuing the legacy of helmut lang 88 mother

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vitality

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photo courtesy of Sara Barber

When it feels like the world is falling apart, it is vital to create and capture what keeps us together. We have a calling as a magazine to highlight the subtle beauty that comes with the growth and change of everyday life. This is the source from which we derive our strength—creating a united front against the powers that be. Giving our generation an unrestricted platform to illuminate these moments of vitality is the key to unlocking a future full of freedom and expression. —Adam Ward, Editor-In-Chief

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cohesion photos Austin Quintana models Morgan Wright // Angelica Bourland

“Action on behalf of life transforms. Because the relationship between self and the world is reciprocal, it is not a question of first getting enlightened or saved and then acting. As we work to heal the earth, the earth heals us.”

—Robin Wall Kimmerer

Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants

This is a quote from a book currently on Liam Kelly’s bookshelf. The bookshelf stands next to a lemon tree—a lemon tree that once grew beside a twin extra large bed and a shared mini fridge.

Kelly has maintained a garden for over seven years, including his two years at Emerson in one of the college’s dorms. Kelly now cultivates a vegetable garden overflowing with carrots, cucumbers, six paste tomato plants, watermelons, and ground cherry tomatillos. He also has an indoor garden that houses his lemon tree.

While other students were learning how to spell and write sentences, Kelly was memorizing the names of the plants in his father’s garden. He developed a passion for gardening after watching his father, a passion that has remained with him throughout his life. Recently, Kelly transformed this passion into a job: he now works at Boston Cityscapes, one of Boston’s largest plantscaping companies. Kelly said he “couldn’t stop smiling,” during his first day on the job.

After a day working with other people’s plants, Kelly cultivates his personal garden. Each of his plants demands attention and requires a meticulous schedule, and time that helps Kelly feel a sense of independence.

Kelly worked in the foodservice industry and was disturbed by the amount of food waste he saw every day. Gardening gives him the ability to assert his independence from the issues in that industry. Kelly said that “food is something that we need to survive, but it is seen as a commodity.” Gardening provides Kelly with the “deepest sense of fulfillment.” When he looks at his garden, he thinks, “I’ve helped this organism grow, it’s going to help me, and in return I’ll plant it again.”

While he values what gardening provides him, he also appreciates the deeper meanings of plants and studies books such as “Braiding Sweetgrass”

by Robin Wall Kimmerer. The book details indigenous peoples’ relationship with land, food, and tradition. It also explores the storytelling abilities of seeds and plants. Seeds, and the plants they produce, serve as a means of 23

maintaining culture and understanding history.

Kelly’s interest in the storytelling qualities of seeds led to his discovery of an Instagram account dedicated to seed keeping. The account is run by Owen Taylor of Philadelphia. Taylor works to “save seeds in danger of being lost.” He is part of a coalition of over 20 small US farms that are dedicated to keeping endangered seeds in rotation during planting seasons. Many of the seeds in danger of being lost in the US are from the Columbus era. Taylor combats the erasure of seeds by planting them and sharing the stories they carry. Taylor’s account, @seedkeeping, has over 1,500 posts that outline a nearly forgotten history of agriculture and life in the Americas through colorful petals and crawling vines.

Taylor’s Instagram feed serves as an edible history lesson. One post explains the Lumper Potato’s global influence—it is native to the Andes Mountains, but was brought to Ireland in the 19th century. According to Taylor’s post, the potato “grew well in poor soil and could almost singlehandedly feed a family, which was life-changing for impoverished Irish Catholic farmers living under the harsh conditions of British colonial rule.” The potato provided autonomy for Irish families under British rule until the crop was destroyed by a blight that led to the Great Famine of 1845.

Taylor closed the post by saying, “a million died and a million fled Ireland.

Both the Lumper and the Irish survived, growing stronger, and fighting so future generations could live a good life.”

The storytelling abilities of seeds inspired Kelly to become conscious about which seeds he plants. During the three months in the winter when he can’t plant outside, he researches and purchases the seeds he will plant in the spring. Kelly orders his seeds from a Missouri-based website called Baker Creek Seeds. Like Taylor’s Instagram, this website is dedicated to sharing the stories of seeds and preserving their history. It is run by a family and it has one of the largest collections of seeds from the 19th century in the US.

“I’ve helped this organism grow, it’s going to help me, and in return I’ll plant it again.”

In Kelly’s own garden, a tomato plant provides the ingredients for his homemade tomato sauce. The tomatoes hail from a family in Italy who preserved the seeds for generations. Baker Creek Seeds served as a platform for the family to not only preserve their endangered crop, but also to share their family’s legacy across

the globe. Through a $2.50 packet of seeds, Kelly introduced a new plant and two centuries-worth of an Italian family’s livelihood, identity, and shared meals to Boston.

Boston has a blossoming gardening scene. Urban gardens dot the landscape of the city. After-hour 24 doctors, 9–5ers, students, the retired,

and children work to maintain gardens tucked in alleyways and stored on rooftops. Kelly believes community gardens have the ability to be the “nucleus of a community.” One of Kelly’s favorite gardens in Boston is the Berkeley Community Garden in South Boston.

Many of the gardeners hail from East Asia, and, as such, many of the seeds

planted in the garden are East Asian.

One end of the garden has laminated placards describing the history of each plant and how they are used.

Kelly reflected, “immigration is a beautiful thing, but there is also a dangerous pressure to assimilate in the US.” He said that gardens serve “as a place for both community and di-

aspora.” The Bandhu Gardens mirrors this belief. Located in Detroit, Bandhu Gardens creates an environment where Bangladeshi women can cook, share, and plant their native foods in an unfamiliar city. It is one of the first gardens in the US that focuses on maintaining a cultural presence of food.

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been exposed to new people and foods. He gardens individually most of the time, but admitted it is “way more fun to be a part of a community.” When gardening his own food, Kelly said, “I don’t want to waste what I grow. I’m also not compelled to hoard food.”

words Maggie McNulty photos Renata Brockman

from the ashes On demolition day, while walking through the remains of their charred home, the Raibles did something unexpected. It was a frigid day in December when they unleashed their rage over the fire that had spited them. Wafting through the air was the smell of their scorched home.

“It smelt like something was rotting,” Megan Raible said, her nose wrinkling. Following her father’s lead, Raible, her mother, and brother unscrewed the bulbs from the light fixtures and chucked them against what remained of the walls, smashing them into millions of little pieces. Their vacuum ended up through the TV. They smashed the china cabinet. They shattered the windows with rocks and stones.

Anything left was destroyed, causing a literal catharsis.

Suzie Hicks was the last person to speak at Jacob’s funeral, just before his parents took the podium. She was just 17 years old when her best friend committed suicide. Hicks found out via text message from a mutual friend while babysitting. Her world was shattered. She hadn’t seen Jacob in quite some time, considering that they had forged their friendship at summer camp. Even so, they considered each other best friends. Because of the distance, it took time for her loss to feel tangible. “I see my life as me before losing Jacob and me after losing Jacob. It is an obvious split between the way that I viewed the world before and the way that I view the world after losing him,” she said.

As humans, we have an innate need for survival.

Like a body after surgery, we are left with scars and little relics of the past after a tragedy. We see these marks and are reminded of what we’ve gone through, and the strength that we need to find in order to persevere.

“When I was in middle school, my house burnt to the ground,” Raible said, sitting cross-legged on the brown upholstered couch. “It was nine years ago today, actually.” Her father’s collector truck had caught fire from a simple spark. Parked in the garage, the truck ignited paint cans and gasoline.

The flames became unstoppable and spread into Raible’s home.

Starting therapy after Jacob’s death was a step that those close to Hicks encouraged her to take. This was the first time she was introduced to the concept of mental health. When she began, she was in a crippling state of grief. Eventually, a psychiatrist diagnosed her with both depression and anxiety, neither of which she had ever been exposed to before. “It threw me a fucking loop. I had no idea what was going on,” Hicks said.

Hicks felt an incredible amount of guilt after Jacob’s death. “There is something unique about suicide. You want to be mad at the cause of their death, but the cause of their death is themselves,” she says. “And it was because they were feeling so alone and troubled, and thus the cause of their death is you, because you are guilty for not recognizing it. It’s a whole awful, toxic cycle of grief.”

For a while, Hicks was in denial. She couldn’t comprehend the finality of Jacob’s death, choosing instead to pretend that everything was alright. When her realization came, she isolated herself. “I lost almost all of my friends,” she said.

For Raible, life was disorienting in the time after the fire. Their family moved in with some of their neighbors for about a month until they could secure a rental home. “I didn’t have a place that I could call my own anymore. I felt so out of place and out of sync,” she said.

Hackettstown, New Jersey is a small, close knit community. Because of this, the fire became a public event. At her middle school, everyone knew her as the “Fire Girl.” Her classmates and teachers hugged and comforted her in the weeks after the accident, but they also stared at her, eyes bulging, like an animal at the zoo.

A huge part of Hicks’ recovery process was spending lots of time with Jacob’s family and friends, sharing stories, bonding over their mutual loss, and grieving with other people that understood whaat she was going through. Jacob’s family embraced her like a second child.

During her sophomore year of college, Hicks was inspired to start an arts festival called Project WOW, after a fellow student committed suicide. The project’s goal was to create a space and give a voice to artists who are still here. In addition to this, Hicks rallied a team together for a suicide prevention walk called Out of the Darkness. In doing so, she shared some stories of Jacob and his situation. It allowed her to connect more with their friendship and be more in touch with him as a person, instead of the way that he died. In this, Hicks was able to reclaim part of their narrative.

She also wrote a play called “The Lucky Ones.”

Being about Jacob, crafting it was raw and horrible.

“It was a week of me sitting in my room writing and remembering all of the awful things that I felt my senior year of high school and then putting that on paper.” “The Lucky Ones” was chosen for a theater festival. Hicks got to cast the show and see the actors perform the words she had been too afraid to say.

Jacob’s family ended up attending the performance.

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process of grieving and growing and learning about yourself. According to Hicks, “you have to realize that the way you feel now isn’t going to be the way that you feel in the future. The trauma is not who you are, and it isn’t your overarching character trait.”

In the fire, the Raibles lost many precious irreplaceable items, like their mother’s wedding dress and family paintings. “Trauma, almost by definition, changes you. You can’t unexperience what happened to you. You can get over the more immediate emotions, but I’m never going to unsee what I saw that day or not have emotions attached to it,” Raible said.

Though she never would’ve sought therapy had it not been for the fire, she now has weekly phone calls with her therapist. “There are things that I’ll miss, but going through the experience made me stronger. It taught me how to cope with my emotions in a more healthy and productive way,” Raible said.

“Trauma creates a kind of mosaic. It breaks you, but you put yourself back together. While you’re not the original piece, you can still be beautiful and functional,” Hicks said.

Standing on stage, a character from “The Lucky Ones” begins a monologue. “In order to form that beautiful piece of artwork, all the individual pieces had to be broken and reshaped together.”

“It was one of the most profound experiences of my life,” she said.

Though Raible was reluctant to seek therapy, her parents made her speak to someone about the traumatizing experience of the fire. Resisting therapy was a combination of being an angsty middle schooler and being angry with a situation that she had had no control over. While the house burnt, all Raible could do was sit and watch as their family’s heirlooms, belongings, and keepsakes went up in flames. In the aftermath of the trauma, Raible would have breakdowns that would last for hours. After finally succumbing to therapy, she slowly started to come to terms with the situation.

“The biggest thing that my therapist had me do was to take pictures of the house before the fire, [insurance] pictures of the house on fire, and pictures of the house after the fire,” she said. From these, Raible made a scrapbook. The collection created a visualization of the incident that helped her cope with the loss. The scrapbook allowed Raible both to grieve and become excited about the new house they would build. Raible and her brother were included in the building process when the family built their new home from the ground up on the foundation of the home they had lost.

Both Raible and Hicks agree that trauma is not something that you ever recover from entirely. It is a

words Delia Curtis photos Mana Parker 27

buy for l i f e I sat on my bed in Los Angeles, the hot sun shining against my sensitive New England-accustomed-eyes. On my knees rested a large cardboard box, a package from my mother. She’d sent it after receiving many whining calls from me—the distance, the culture shock, my usual dramatics. After slowly slitting the packaging tape with my keys, I tore into the box, taking in its contents with a gasp. My mom had mailed me her chestnut leather, semi-circle purse from Johnny Farah.

She’d bought this bag before having any children, when she was a young adult and spent her money only on herself. Visions of my mother in her youth danced in my head, juggling bags, shoes, film for her camera. This was before children, piano lessons, new ballet slippers, and groceries for five became her everyday. It was a symbol of her adulthood, how it had changed and grown. I’d coveted it from the moment my pre-teen eyes saw it on the top shelf of her closet.

This bag was from a time when my mother could spend hundreds of dollars on a bag for herself, an idea that took me time to my head around, at first. She made an effort to ingrain in me the concept of quality over quantity in style. It was, according to her, one of her investment pieces. She bought the perfect, shiny, handbag even though it was technically out of her price range. She knew it was a good purchase because it fulfilled a couple of values: the bag was well made so it would never wear out, was classic enough that she would never

get sick of it or find it passé, and would always be considered a luxury item, so she could potentially sell it for a high price even after years of use.

Investment pieces are part of a larger fashion identity for each wearer, and carry emotion and memories.

They’re like a family heirloom, something to be treasured and handed down from mother to child or from friend to friend. They can be a symbol of independence, a shining beacon of individuality and adulthood. Like their name explains, they are an investment, in your future, your happiness, and your finances.

When my mother explained all of this to me, a lightbulb went off in my head. No more buying from fast fashion stores! Fuck Forever 21 and its crappy dresses that always started to fray or split at the seams after three wears! I resolved to only buy high-quality garments. My style evolved and so did my shopping habits. Still, something was missing. I did not have a truly chic and mature item in my wardrobe that I had bought for myself. Most had been given to me as presents. I wasn’t quite the stylish independent adult that I made myself out to be.

As I walked the streets of Dublin in the winter of my junior year of Emerson, I passed by Marks and Spencer. I thought I’d duck in to escape the cold for a while, and I perused the racks thoughtlessly. I saw a few things I liked, but none of them were anywhere near my price range.

I walked down a sloping path that led 28

me to the clearance shoe section. It was January, but I could practically hear Christmas songs reverberating in my skull, angels singing on high. There were so many shoes. I tried on about a dozen pairs before my eyes caught a pair of forest green leather Chelsea boots. It was love at first sight. I bought them, on sale for $75, more than I would normally pay for shoes. To stop the flow of guilt, I started to think about it critically. These boots were of a phenomenal quality, meaning they would last me a minimum of five autumns and winters of wear. If I passed these by and bought my usual pleather Chelsea boots, which wear out after one, or two at the most, seasons, I would spend $30 twice a year for five years. That’s $300! For crappy shoes!

Continuing this shopping trend, I also bought a camel waxed cotton coat with a shearling lining. I knew the purchase was a smart decision because it wouldn’t wear out and was from ethically sourced materials and labor.

The coat also symbolized me gradually evolving into the adult I wanted to be. The expression goes: “don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.” I take this to heart, and use my wardrobe to boost my confidence and display to myself and the people around me what I want to be doing in my life. I wear classic clothes but love color; I feel it communicates that I am serious but creative. This coat was a step in that direction. Sensible and classic, a safe bet, it definitely wouldn’t go out of style. There was a unique quality to it, the over the top plaid and shearling lining, the mustard sheen, that made me feel fun and energetic.

Nowadays, I try to style myself as responsibly as possible, and that includes thinking about the ethical and environmental effects of what I buy.

I try not to buy pleather because it is poor quality and made of petroleum.

It is more often than not produced by fast fashion companies that outsource their production to sweatshops, treat their employees like animals, and pollute the planet. Responsible shopping often includes thrifting or

hitting vintage shops, where I can buy high quality items and brands without having to sell my soul to the devil to afford it. For me, it’s the idea that I will be making a step towards my future self and in the footsteps of my mom, a wonderful role model.

Investment pieces are about more than just buying something that will last; they’re about adding to your wardrobe in a meaningful way.

Hearing the click clack tap of the sharp heel of my green Chelsea boots brings me back to wandering down blustery Grafton street with my little sister. Looking down and seeing the forest green against wet pavement reminds me of stepping over snowy curbs on a perfect first date in Boston.

I’ll always remember a trip to Salem with some of my best friends, and how I spilled hot chocolate down the corduroy trim on the right sleeve of that tan coat. I’ll remember the first interview I went to wearing it, hands sweating inside my pockets, and draping it over the back of the chair opposite my future boss. Each time I wear one of these pieces, I use it as a sort of meditative tool—I slip my arms into that tan coat and button up, I feel confident and smart and ready for action, prepared to take a step towards my chosen future. I’m brought back to a place and self of times past. I can still see who I was when I first bought each piece, and can appreciate how much I’ve changed since then.

words Isabel Crabtree photos Brunei Deneumostier clothes courtesy of the model’s parents

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NATIVITY

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photos Allison Nguyen photo assistant Mana Parker models Oona Baker // Bridget Walsh wardrobe Castanet

shirt ELIZABETH AND JAMES skirt COLLETTE DINNIGAN

shirt CINQ A SEPT skirt LANVIN

dress OSCAR DE LA RENTA

sweater MARC JACOBS skirt A.L.C.

buh-bye womb Disclosure: The following article discusses a theory that speaks about the biological reproductive abilities of the sexes using gendered terminology. Neither the writer, nor em Magazine, endorses the idea that biological sex and gender identity are by any means the same thing.

Womb Envy may no longer be a theory that feminists have in their back pockets, and that’s a loss that’s gonna hurt. For those unfamiliar with its sentiments, look no further than the inverse idea: Freud’s largely critiqued, if not abandoned, Penis Envy. As provocative as it is controversial, “Penis Envy” dictates that the first stage of sexual development in cis-females is a profound lust for their mother. Extreme anxiety follows, however, after they realize that they are physically incapable of satisfying her.

The girls then develop an envy for their father’s penis and the power it represents, ultimately transforming into an attraction towards people like their father. Feminists reappropriated Freud’s abstract and unwieldy theory, saying cis-males are envious of cis-females’ ability to generate and sustain life.

Freud may not be the persuasive voice he once was, but history never fails to enlighten. If envy is too strong of a word to use now, let us stick with reverence. As silenced and repressed as women have been throughout history, the womb may have been their strongest ally. For centuries, a great amount of value was placed on a woman’s ability to give birth. It was a sense of purpose, a source of pride, a power that could only be admired. We have all read one tale or another that talks about the domestic melodrama where a wife could not provide an heir for her husband. They speak of shame and turmoil, but when and if the child is consummated, only lar-

gesse remains for the wife, pure and blissful.

There is a considerable degree of ignorance from the male perspective when it comes to the act of childbirth.

Up until recently, fathers weren’t even able to enter the delivery room.

Even now, very few choose to go in.

My brother-in-law was among those who refrained.

He joked with me about how confused and scared he would have been if he had gone in, a vulnerability I’ve never seen in him before. It’s a source of weakness a lot of fathers have. “I was watching a hockey game while you were born,” my father told me unabashedly. This ignorance on what happens during the painful minutes or hours of childbirth has turned into respect. My cousins and I speak with awe in our eyes as we marvel at how our grandmother gave birth to eight children.

Societally, the topic of birth somewhat avoided, but there are signs that point to the possibility that men envy the female ability to generate life. The sociologist Barbara Engler summarized this envy as something that is not “openly acknowledged by most males,” saying it has “often taken subtle and indirect forms.”

The jealousy of physically nurturing a child might result in men trying to repress others from being nurtured. In heterosexual couples, seeing the power of mothers to provide and sympathize for their children, fathers may grow to be distant, aloof, awkward.

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Cis-men have subconsciously utilized technological advancements to alleviate the frustration caused by Womb Envy. Though they may not be able to give birth to children, they can create robots.

They may not experience the same attachment a mother has with her newborn, so instead they attempt to foster a connection with something they brought forth into existence. Who needs a womb when the mind alone provides enough fertility to generate life—at least some form of it?

Arguments on what constitutes something being “alive” have been resurrected and progressed because of advancements in technology. A convention in Boston during mid-October welcomed discussions on artificial intelligence titled “The Human Face of AI and How AI Makes Us More Human”. An extensive article was written in the late October edition of The New Yorker which asked unnerving questions about the role of humans during increased automation. It’s conversations like these that are becoming more and

more prevalent in the technological world.

Leading experts in the field such as Nick Bostrom, author of acclaimed novel “Superintelligence”, have populated the idea that artificial intelligence may be the legacy of mankind. Renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking applauds the advantages of modern day artificial intelligence, but is wary of what future it brings: “One can imagine such technology outsmarting financial markets, out-inventing human researchers, out-manipulating human leaders and developing weapons we cannot even understand.”

If scientists dictate that artificial intelligence, in all its forms, is approaching—if not already surpassing—the requirements needed to be considered “living,” they are doing something dangerous. They are saying that the creation of artificial intelligence is equal to the creation of humans. In some cases, they are even saying that AI creation is more important than human reproduction. There are

conversations, books, lectures and years of research spent on how humans are becoming obsolete.

“By 2029, we will have reverse engineered, modeled and simulated all the regions of the brain. And that will provide us the software and algorithmic methods to simulate all of the human brain’s capabilities, including our emotional intelligence”, said Ray Kurzweil, Director of Engineering at Google.

The vast potential of humanity will be squandered into mere algorithms. Like Solomon, we can finally say with firm conviction that there truly is nothing new under the sun.

This is the future of AI, scientists promise, and it’s the future that will destroy Womb Envy.

The death of Womb Envy is not something to overlook. It means, philosophically, frustrated cis-men have found a way to subvert the power of women. Of course, this was not the goal of technology, nor is it to say that it has to be used that way. However, the current situation that the tech world is in, where women hold only 11 percent of the executive positions, does not bode

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well for female participation in the making of artificial intelligence. In fact, the gender gap in the tech world may continue to widen as men now get a taste of the power that comes with creating life.

Losing Womb Envy is an attack on power for women. The definition of what it means to be alive has been expanded. It begs the question that if something carries out all the actions a human can, does it deserve to be acknowledged as a living thing? Is a machine that learns and thinks alive? If not, how about an empathizing, supportive robot?

In all honesty, it does not matter what your personal answer is to these questions—they’ve already been answered for us by scientists and historians. The answer is yes.

The generative power of females has been subverted. In the future, the creation of humans will be equivalent to the creation of AI, and gender may experience an odd diversification. Like a real life Victor Frankenstein, it is now possible to create life outside of the womb. words Joseph Boudreau illustration Enne Goldstein

master class words Erin Christie photos Sabrina Ortiz models Carol Ann Dellatto // Tommy Fiorillo // Olivia Scileppi

Writer and philosopher Immanuel Kant notes in his piece “Observations on the Feeling of the Beautiful and Sublime” (written circa 1764), that aging women essentially lose any value that they once had, for with age, their beauty begins to fade. To Kant and many writers of the Romantic period, women only possess importance based on their innately beautiful qualities. He writes that this beauty begins to fade with age, and with it, a woman’s value and significance in society. Though more than 200 years have past since this idea was put down on paper, the concept of a woman’s worth deteriorating with age is still prevalent in our culture.

To 77-year-old Tommy Fiorillo, the idea that women must retain their youth in order to be considered traditionally beautiful is “completely ridiculous.” In her eyes, aging is normal. “Women don’t need to go through intense surgeries so that they can feel young.” Fiorillo believes that all women are beautiful, regardless of age. “When you get to be my age, you can see a lot of people around you deteriorating,” Fiorillo said. “How you feel on the outside often reflects how you feel on the inside.”

Olivia Scileppi, 76, agreed. “I hear about so many people getting botox and going through with all those surgeries and I just—why bother?” she said, laughing. “You don’t need surgery. God didn’t make us for that.”

Fiorillo believes that listening to negative outlooks on aging can be oppressive and counterproductive. “I think that society likes to lump [older people] into one group,” she said.

“We’re not just in one category. Some people feel older than others and they put too much emphasis on that. It’s really superficial.”

One of the most degrading issues to her is that at a certain point, age takes prevalence as someone’s most noticeable descriptor. “If we could stop [this division] from happening, this could teach older people to rise above those negative things,” said Fiorillo. “They aren’t as discarded and deteriorated and ancient as society wants them to think, they haven’t lost it all.”

Fiorillo defies standards set on her by dressing up and wearing makeup. “I try to [go against the system] and do my own thing,” Fiorillo supported. “I just try to look at the good things and I think that reflects on how you feel about yourself.”

Scileppi also chooses to stray from the norms by staying fashionable and on trend with her outward appearance.

With confidence in her voice she noted, “I dress for myself and that’s one of my favorite parts of the day. I don’t dress like a typical woman of my age and I’m fine with that.”

Scileppi wishes that more women could feel comfortable with themselves and what they wear. “I would be thrilled to see a change happen with that,” she said. They key to Scileppi’s attitude is confidence. She encourages women her age to “dress for themselves” and to not be afraid of what the world might think.

“To women and even men of my age, I hope that they know that they don’t have to look their age. Even if they do, that isn’t a bad thing,” Scileppi said. “They don’t have to just sit in a rocking chair. They can get up and dance, go out and

do things, and keep active.” Her spirit stems from constant busyness. “I try to keep moving all the time and I think we all should. And I think that’s what keeps me going and feeling young. But call me when I’m 80—who knows?” she joked.

Carol Dellatto, 77, uses activity to feel young as well. “I try to do free exercises around the house with my dumbbells and I keep my Mediterranean diet,” she said. “I just go through every day doing what I can to feel happy and comfortable.”

Dellatto refuses to sit idly by and watch herself age without doing anything about it. “Aging and illness can take the life out of you,” she noted in the same regard. Even with all of that happening, “we have no control over it.” Rather than succumbing to that process, to Dellatto it is most important to remember that though aging can be draining: “We have to fight as long as we can.”

“My mother always dressed beautifully and taught my sister and I to do the same. All of a sudden, she succumbed to Alzheimer’s and I saw it suck the life out of her. Then and there, I decided that while I could control it, I didn’t want that to happen to me,” Dellatto recalled.

Fighting the system and the damaging mentalities associated with aging can be done by remembering that, “we cannot please everyone around us,” said Dellatto. The most important thing is to “not change based on what others think” and to remember that society does not dictate you. Believing this is something that has been incredibly motivating in Dellatto’s life. In this world, “you can’t make everyone happy,” she noted. As the ever-legendary Coco Chanel stated, “beauty begins the moment you try to be yourself,” a guideline that Dellatto chooses to utilize each and every day.

“I wake up in the morning and I say, ‘Oh, Carol, go put your ‘Carol Ann’ face on,’ so out comes the makeup bag. No matter how I’m feeling that day, doing that makes me feel good,” she said. “It took me a long time to realize that—that you have to be yourself in this world and not care about what others think.”

In choosing to put herself first and focus on what she wants over what society wants from her, Dellatto dedicates a huge part of her life to fashion and style, whether in regards to buying the last bottle of hair dye on the shelf, searching for designer dupes at her local TJ Maxx, or simply browsing shops and delving into the latest styles and trends. To her, “fashion fades, but style is forever.”

“I’m here to please me in this lifetime,” she proudly stated, this being her main motivation in dressing herself every day and trying to feel as beautiful and elegant as she knows she is inside on the outside. “I mean, I won’t try to look 16, but I try to dress elegantly for my age. In regards to society, I don’t go by anything but myself—I’m my own boss.”

Dellatto advised “living in the moment” and being yourself a much a possible, no matter how old you are in that place in time, regardless of what the world wants us to be or do.

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“To women and even men of my age, I hope that they know that they don’t have to look their age. Even if they do, that isn’t a bad thing”

“It took me a long time to realize that—that you have to be yourself in this world and not care about what others think.”

eulogy to vine When Vine was shut down in 2016, I didn’t even have the app downloaded anymore. While I had once spent hours scrolling through endless amounts of six-second videos on a near-daily basis, I eventually found other ways to waste my time online.

I stopped opening the app, and eventually deleted it from my phone to save space—in part because I knew I could easily find the best posts on other social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr, and in part because I assumed I’d always be able to re-download it if I wanted to. Even after just a few years of existence, Vine had embedded itself so far into our culture that we never considered a world without it.

Twitter acquired Vine in 2012 shortly before the app’s official launch, making it an integral part of sharing video alongside tweets. Part of why the platforms worked so well together was the brevity of both mediums—six-second videos paired with 140-character tweets proved popular, as Vine became the App Store’s most-downloaded free app in 2013. A year later, Vine expanded to include a web version and began showing “loop counts” on each video, counting the number of times each Vine was watched across all the different platforms it was embedded and shared on. Vines went viral on all social media platforms, appeared in online news stories, and even reached into our real lives—a year after its demise, I still can’t go a week without making at least one vine reference in conversations with my friends.

October 27, 2016 was the beginning of the end for the platform that brought us classics like “Why you always lyin’” and “This bitch empty—yeet!” Twitter announced that the 200 million active users of the app would no longer be able to upload new Vines, though all previously-uploaded content would still be available to view. Though the app is now defunct, Vines are still memorialized on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and YouTube. Compilations, or “Vine comps,” which allow users to watch several minutes’ worth of Vines in a row, are now as close as we can get to the joy of scrolling through the app. Now we are only left with the sweet memory of scrolling from one six-second video to the next until an entire hour has passed without our knowledge.

The day the news broke that Vine was shutting down, my Twitter timeline flooded with people sharing “R.I.P. Vine” tweets and their favorite videos from the app’s four years. Even today, I see posts on various social media platforms lamenting the loss of Vine and begging someone (Twitter? God? The universe?) to bring it back. The death of Vine and

our subsequent reactions shows that, like most things, we didn’t appreciate it until it was gone. Though I hadn’t used the app in ages at the time of its death, I would download it again in a heartbeat if it were somehow resurrected.

A year later, we are still hesitant to accept the death of Vine. Not only is it extremely unlikely that Twitter will change its mind and bring it back, it just wouldn’t be the same if they did. Plenty of ex-Vine stars have moved on to other mediums like YouTube or Instagram to create content, and Vine compilations have done an adequate job of filling the void—there are probably even still Vines archived online that have gone unwatched, waiting to be dug up by someone with a hunger for short-form content and too much time on their hands.

Resurrecting Vines in the aftermath of the platform’s destruction has become its own art form of sorts. Because users can no longer scroll through their favorites on the app, finding old beloved Vines often comes down to typing a vague description of the video into a search engine and hoping for the best. Some of my own favorites can be found by searching obscure terms like “kid running with skateboard vine” or “guy kicking his legs vine”—phrases that would make no sense out of context, but that former Vine users could probably identify. This is how we’ve learned to cope with the loss of Vine—by digging it up, by making compilations and conversational references to Vines in our daily lives, and by keeping it alive in any way we can. We only had a short time to create content for the app, but we will have a lifetime to explore it.

The novelty of Vine was always its ephemeral nature, and its ability to provide lots of lasting content in a short amount of time. We have only just begun to truly appreciate it for what it was—therefore, Vine will never truly die. words Jillian Meehan illustration Morgan Wright 48

“Even today, I see posts on various social media platforms lamenting the loss of Vine and begging someone (Twitter?

God? The universe?) to bring it back.�

with(out)

photos Renata Brockmann photo assistant Brunei Deneumostier models Amaia Rioseco // Nick O’Neil styling Adam Ward // Amanda Zou beauty Amaia Rioseco wardrobe Castanet

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scarf J.W. ANDERSON X UNIQLO vest MAISON MARGIELA dress VICTORIA BECKHAM

button down ACNE STUDIOS t shirt BDG shorts ACNE STUDIOS

shirt STYLIST’S OWN belt GUCCI pants STYLIST’S OWN

vest LOUIS VUITTON pants STYLIST’S OWN

shoes BALENCIAGA

pants DRIES VAN NOTEN

shoes NIKE

yes, and “Support was the thread and love was the needle.”

I remember it was a Monday because I hadn’t smiled in 24 hours. My brain was overwhelmed, busy and abused. “How rude,” I said out loud in the elevator as it reached opened on the fifth floor of the Walker Building. This Stroopwafel improv rehearsal was about to interrupt all of the time I had set aside to think about the things I would never do. I wanted the elevator to get stuck.

The belly laughter at the end of the hallway made me nauseous. I was too short for the rollercoaster and the man at the carnival was lifting the lever. I regretted every-

thing I’ve ever done in my life and hated myself for pitching this story.

“Why am I writing about improv when I don’t even like it?” I missed my melancholy, my Sylvia Plath, my sepia comfort zone. I remembered what John MacGregor from Improv Asylum had told me about why the concept of improv is so scary. “It’s like being dropped in the middle of the ocean. You’re told to just start swimming in a direction until you find something. There’s just no guarantee you ever will.”

The “Stroops,” as they call themselves, sat scattered across the carpet. I counted them, nine,

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and the tension left my shoulders. I’ve never seen a group of people happier to be somewhere.

It was Christmas morning in Walker 524. The room was too small for what was happening. Their conversations were jumping through a pinball machine, they were the rich with life on a Monday night.

“I feel like a woman who just woke up out of a coma,” said sophomore Zoe Limerick. She was wearing pajama pants and leading a massage train. Liv Brooks and Maggie O’Neil, both sophomores, completed the trio of funny women

in attendance. They told me about freshman Claire Layden and how she couldn’t be there that night.

I wish I could have seen her too.

Their laughter was glorious, two exposed wires, dancing and dangerous. I could talk about funny women forever.

Sophomores Ryan O’Rourke and Nick Weinman went back and forth and up and down about stories from their days. Senior Adrian Young simply listened. He later told me that being able to fully listen to what’s going on is the core of improv. Juniors Jelani Asim and Aidan Watt tried to get everyone’s attention until they lost themselves to the infectious laughter. It was 9:13p.m. when they finally joined hands.

Stroopwafel improv troupe began their rehearsal with a “stretch and share,” to channel their energy both physically and mentally. “I got tricked into going to church,” shared sophomore Gus Beiveros. Watching the Stroops settle in helped me understand their group dynamic. Though they were hilarious performers, they were also humans. They were low when someone shared something tough and got high off of the wins.

Support was the thread and love was the needle.

Rehearsals are a set of games.

Because they perform improv, every show is different and rehearsals take the same shape.

“We figure out what games we are going to play and who’s going to be in them,” said Watt. “Then afterwards we pray.” They started with “Six Things,” a game where each player has to create six different things relating to the category of another player’s choice. “Hey Gus?” yelled Brooks.

“The Dining hall has some new entrees. What are they?”

Sometimes during improv, things just don’t work. “If I’m not doing good work, or my troupe is selling each other out on stage, then I get all sad and question

my life and think about becoming a teacher,” said MacGregor about his work at Improv Asylum.

I thought of this between Beiveros’ chance to answer the question. I wanted him to succeed. “All of the bananas I take and put back, you, goliath, ten sharks, a lemon, a bull vertebra.” Perfection. I watched the rest of the Stroops confidently answer with one-liners that kept me laughing a few days later. And it wasn’t just me who thought they were funny, most of the laughing came from the Stroops themselves, particularly the ones making the jokes.

“I’m so guilty of this,” said Brooks. “Everything these people do is so damn funny. I always think I’m used to their humor and then they whip out something totally new and brilliant. I try my best not break it in shows but it just happens because I’m having so much fun.”

As an audience member this was my favorite thing throughout the night. “When everything’s going right, it’s insanity,” said MacGregor during our interview. “I laugh a lot on stage, like in scenes, I break all the time, it’s really bad. So if everything’s going right I’m usually just on the floor laughing because I can’t wrap my head around what’s happening.”

The Stroops transitioned from warm-ups to actual scenes.

“Octopus” was next on deck and involved everyone’s participation. Young was the moderator and asked for a word. They chose “crow” and two people entered into the scene. When a gold nugget of humor emerged, like when O’Rourke mentioned his “anti-crow propeller,” Young would clap. “I want to see the guy who invented the crow propeller.” Bam. There he was, right in front of me, the man who invented the world’s first anti-crow propeller. Effortless and believable.

I watched as the Stroops, game after game, step fearlessly into the unknown. Of course I knew that

they didn’t know how to create an anti-crow propeller, yet I believed every word of their meaningless instructions.“Trust,” said Brooks.

“If you don’t trust both yourself and your scene partner nothing good will come of the scene. Being able to put your entire trust in someone else while making things up on the spot is extremely scary; you have to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable.” She was right. The Stroops were stunning portraits of vulnerability, free falling into scene after scene.

“Getting out of my head is definitely the hardest thing about improv,” said O’Rourke.

“Thinking or preparing what I could do wastes mental energy I need to be exerting on picking up everything my partner is adding.”

It was clear when the Stroops were out of their heads. The words that came out were funnier and fast, wittier and clear. The practice of not thinking is one lost by our society and a reason that so many people could never imagine themselves doing improv. I walked out of the Stroop rehearsal overwhelmed with renewed energy.

That night, there was nothing more terrifying to me than being in a room full of funny people. It wasn’t scary like monsters or wolves, or having to perform onstage yourself. You can always kill the wolves, you can always walk away from the scene. Funny people, particularly the ones I was watched that Monday, are a different kind of scary. They have faith in failure.

Even though they could drown, they continue to swim. I wonder if they know how much power lies in that freedom. That Monday I learned a secret: there is nothing more terrifying than being too comfortable.

words Jenny Griffin illustration Enne Goldstein

I have a favorite T-shirt. It’s one I usually wear to bars. I’m not one for flashy or provocative clothing, so my bad girl shines through in a peculiar way: by wearing a shirt with Saint Anthony on it. At first, I thought I was sinning by wearing a shirt like that out to drink.

But it wasn’t the blasphemous act I thought it was. Religious entities are becoming commonplace in fashion. They’re the new rebel cause. Ironically, the most conventional and traditional images are the only things left to corrupt and commoditize. For a society that is practicing traditional religion less and less, Christian icons have never been more prevalent. It’s a bond so strong, the 2018 Met Gala theme celebrates the marriage of Catholicism and fashion.

My relationship with the church is a close one. I’m Italian-American, a culture that intertwines itself with Catholicism. It took me years to understand that not everyone was taught the same beliefs as me.

Furthermore, it was a hard shock learning that kids chose to reject faith. It was eighth grade, the first day back from winter break, and I was telling my friends about my family’s Christmas traditions. “We sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Jesus every Christmas,” I explained. My friends were stunned—for them, Christmas was a time of gift giving, not of spiritual rites. In my monotonous, mostly white, mostly Christian town, I felt ashamed of my saint bracelets, of my crosses, and of my time in church. I liked my traditions, but I knew my classmates saw religion as something their parents pushed on them. It was trendy to reject it.

For a generation of teens that hated religion, Forever 21 loved to shove it down our throats. It was as if Madonna had crucified herself and exploded on the cross, and her shrapnel descended upon the sweaters and ill-fitting nylon crop tops of fast fashion-hood. A time-standing symbol was flipped upside down and somehow served 62

as a flag for wannabe hipsters.

Rings and necklaces with crosses were suddenly cool, as long as they came from the mall and not from your grandparents. The symbol of my religion was in, but this interpretation of it was something I didn’t want to be a part of—it felt tacky and ingenuine.

In high school, I knew a teen mentor who enjoyed calling out self-obsessed children for our instant following of fads. He once looked down at a gold ring of mine, with a cross climbing my finger and said, smugly, “Wow, aren’t you really into religion,” thinking that he’d nabbed another mindless trend-follower. “Yes, I am,” I replied firmly. “I wear this ring because I believe in its power.” Finally, it was edgy to be different, to adorn yourself in images of history and controversy. But that’s not why I wore my ring, and I always worried that others would clump me in with the majority.

In 2013, Kanye West, another rebellious and devout christian, renamed himself Yeezus with an album by the same name. It wasn’t the first time the rapper entranced listeners with religious themes. In 2004, he released the hit song “Jesus Walks.” In 2006, he posed on the cover of Rolling Stone, adorned in a crown of thorns like Christ on the cross. However, Yeezus was the first time West called himself a god.

It was a controversial naming. One of the main pillars of Christianity is the belief in one God almighty. West never referred to himself as God. It was a hard line to walk, and many disapproved of his choice, calling it out as blasphemy. However, his connection to religion in the public eye grew nonetheless. In 2016, he released “The Life of Pablo,” a gospel album about Saint Paul. He even named his first son Saint.

As West attempted to become the voice of a new religious moment, his stock in the fashion empire grew. At the same time as his overt revelations, West worked me-

ticulously to launch the Yeezy fashion brand of clothes and sneakers. At the start of his first show, he played a voiceover speaking about wanting to continuously create during “his time on Earth.” The line is, “bigger than who [he] is, in [his] presence living.” West is here to “make new grounds, sonically and culturally.” His intentions mirror those of Jesus. With that, he instantly relates his work to that of Christianity. His combat boots, sneakers, and muted-colored clothing have become a religion in their own right. The brand has a cult following, the disciples of which will do anything to get their goods and be in the club.

Newer brands followed suit in this chase for revolution. Saint Vivian Wrath, a luxury streetwear brand based in the Bronx, walks this same line of juxtaposing blasphemy in their work.

They create beautiful watercolor art pieces embroidered on denim jackets and T-shirts, depicting naked women as saints. Some of the unisex styles feature tags like “saintly siren,” “blessed jezebel,” and “madonna complex,” all clearly riffing on Christianity. But unlike West, instead of trying to promote their own interpretation of the belief system, SVW re-imagines what the “universal” symbols meant to relate to those snubbed by the religion, such as women. They aren’t supposed to be liked by traditional Catholics, but to people like me, they offer an empowering and artful depiction of something I have spent my whole life following.

Pop artist Keith Haring’s work resurged into cultural relevance this past year with a spree of licensing agreements. The Japanese casual-wear brand Uniqlo incorporated Haring’s work into their affordable apparel. Moleskine em-

bossed his images onto their notebooks. Most prominently, Coach’s Spring 2018 line honors the artist as well. Among the paintings chosen in some of the collections was Haring’s “Radiant Baby,” one of his most famous images. Like most of Haring’s work, the icon is largely associated with the gay rights and AIDS movements. However, many don’t know that it stems from Christianity. In his youth, Haring was a “Jesus Freak.” Like the creators of today, Haring used religion

to rebel. While the Freaks stressed Christian beliefs, their movement was anti-establishment and heavily anti-church. Though Haring was only in the cult-like group for a short while, it had a predominant effect on his artistic career. “Radiant Baby” symbolizes Christ, birth, and creation.

I’m not blind to the death and destruction that Christianity has brought to this world. Even now, patrons of the religion use it to alienate others, to keep those who 63

are “different” out. It’s being used by politicians to take away my agency over my own body. In times like this, I often think of Haring’s work. He interpreted the religion as an inspiration. “Radiant Baby” became the symbol of a revolution, the new Christ on his cross. While traditional members of the church were shunning gays and those affected by AIDS during the breakout crisis in the ‘80s, Haring—a gay man who would eventually die from the disease—used this empowering symbol as a sign of peace and healing.

It’s work like his that keeps my faith in the church strong.

Now a senior in college, I try to attend mass as much as I can. I’ve made the decision to keep religion, specifically this religion, in my life. My friends don’t come to church with me. They’ve decided to find spirituality in other aspects of their lives, and I understand that. I’m not lonely, because I see faithful inspiration everywhere I go. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not the creators of this religious work believe my intentions are sincere. It’s all about interpretation.

You might see me walking around with my Saint Anthony shirt and love the aesthetic—so do I. I’m probably looking for a little miracle that day. After all, he is the patron saint of the lost. In my wallet I carry my grandfather’s rosary beads. On my neck, I wear an evil eye necklace for luck and protection. Which one is bullshit? It’s not for me to decide. Your crystals or basketball jersey might have the same effect on you. No matter what it is, faith should be celebrated. It is what inspires and keeps us going.

Amen.

words Marisa Dellatto illustration Julianna Sy

East West East Sage bundles, Himalayan salt crystals, Palo Santo, essential oils: these are Janine Whittaker’s tools. And, unlike most Urban Outfitters shoppers who pile bags full of the same items, she’s certified to use them.

Whittaker, a Massachusetts native who recently returned to the area, leads her life through the philosophy of feng shui. “In a nutshell, feng shui is the study of how your environment affects you,” she said, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm. “I like to describe it as a combination of astrology, interior design, and acupuncture for your environment.”

In other words, feng shui might just be the next millennial pink. Millennials have already embraced ancient, philosophical, and natural ways of life, shown with unstoppable trends such as astrology, crystal healing, and natural beauty.

Feng shui seems like a logical addition— one that can be especially beneficial for our always-busy, hyper-motivated generation.

“With feng shui, I’m really studying someone’s environment and how it affects them. I look at what things in their home might have a direct affect on that aspect of their life they want to change,” said Whittaker, a part of the younger generation herself. This can

be applied to career aspirations, romance, and even creative expression.

Though this is a traditional Chinese practice, the study of feng shui has made its way to the West, proving to be extremely applicable to our always-evolving culture. Though she has since moved back to her hometown of Amesbury, Whittaker fell in love with this ancient practice while living in California and working as a realtor.

After taking a feng shui class in San Diego with a friend, she went on to become a Certified Master of Feng Shui through the International School of Feng Shui.

She is also a member of the International Feng Shui Guild. “Blue Lotus started there,” she said, referring to the feng shui design and consultation company she founded in 2015.

Now a Massachusetts realtor, she practices and gives consultations for three different forms of feng shui in the New England area. She hopes to inject the East Coast with some carefully curated positive vibes. “It’s been interesting seeing how my skills transition from the West Coast to the East Coast,” she said. “It’s very common for realtors to bring in feng shui consultants when showing a house in the West, but not so much here.”

Feng Shui?

The first type of feng shui Whittaker practices, form feng shui, revolves around the flow of chi (pronounced chee), which is a life force that is equated with energy, luck,

opportunity, and money—all things you want to bring into your living environment. “Yes, I can increase energy flow from moving your furniture,” she said.

“But it’s really about how chi is manipulated to move through your space, through shapes and blockages.”

Whittaker’s said the easiest way to improve a space’s flow of chi is arrangement. “Organization and storage is huge [in a space] because clutter will cause negative and stuck energy,” she said. “I can’t stress enough the importance of clean surfaces and places for everything.” So yes, even feng shui wants you to clean your desk off.

In addition to form feng shui, Whittaker also executes intentional feng shui. This practice involves bringing specific objects into a room—and usually putting them in

intention behind it. Don’t willy nilly throw a bit of every element in a space just because of feng shui,” Whittaker warns.

“Your changes must be specific.”

Of the final form of feng shui that Whittaker practices, she says, “classical feng shui isn’t very commonly practiced because it takes a lot of training.” However, as someone with this knowledge, she puts her specific skills to use. She gushes about techniques such as the Flying Stars, Black Hat feng shui, and—most exciting of all—feng shui astrology.

Classical feng shui has never felt so modern.

specific places within that space—to create positive energy and help with the flow of chi.

While the objects are based off of the individual, the places are based off of directions. “North represents your career or life journey,” says Whittaker. “Put a stone or something symbolistic of your intention in that area.

I use amethyst, because I want to be abundant [amethyst stones represent abundance] in my career and I also make jewelry.”

Additionally, “the southwest corner is your love corner,” says Whittaker. She suggests keeping things in pairs in this area and putting up pictures of couples in order to create positive romantic energy, whether you are taken or currently on the hunt.

“Most of feng shui is just the

Renewing the Positive Energy “Can I talk to you about space clearings?”

Whittaker asked, after a pause.

“A space clearing is a cleansing and blessing of a space, where you rid it of any negative or previous energy,” she says. “And you set intentions in that space—goals you want to hit, any dreams you have.” She explains it’s important to do a space clearing any time you go through a big life event, good or bad, like moving into a new place, going through a breakup, or starting a new job.

“All of a sudden, embedding something you want to manifest in a space kicks everything into action,” Whittaker said.

She always starts a cleanse with a grounding and protecting meditation.

To do this, she suggests envisioning a white light moving through your space, as well as a fire of protection to guard you from the negative energy that is being released.

Next, pull out your bundles of sage

and a lighter. Whittaker says to walk through the space clockwise from the front door and imagine the area again being flooded with bright white light. Be sure to focus on entrances and windows and even closet doors, because this is where the energy flows to and from.

When the sage has been completely dispersed around the area, finish with another grounding meditation.

Whittaker said, “I envision the white light and call in my spirit guides, asking them to please remove the negative energy and the stuck energy from this space.”

Don’t forget your self-care routine after the cleanse. “If I can’t take a salt bath, I try to at least wash my hands with himalayan salt crystal to restore some of my energy. It’s kind of like the person is getting a clearing as well,” she says.

The New Millennium

Whittaker laughed. “Do I just sound crazy?” she wondered. “If I had heard myself five years ago...” she said, trailing off.

The idea of a sage cleanse isn’t as eccentric as it used to be.

In a time when most can relate to Mercury being in retrograde, chi flow is suddenly accessible. Feng shui is just another way to better understand ourselves and the individual environments we thrive in, both physically and mentally.

Like many other ancient practices our generation collected, it doesn’t have to stay with the experts. After a quick sage cleanse, Whittaker’s first suggestion is to selectively fill your space with objects that represent your intentions. “The object is not the magic—the object reminds you of your goals,” she emphasized.

Whittaker had one last little tip for the hard-working millennial. “The southeast is the wealth area of your home,” she says. words Hannah McKennett photo Kai Czarnowski

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photos Adam Ward models Tiziana Vazquez // Yaniv Parsay // Chassidy David beauty Courtney Kaner // Amaia Rioseco

TERR A

dripping I. The Blood I Bled I only vaguely recall the first time my mom told me that I would bleed out of my vagina but I know I was fairly horrified. In middle school, getting your first period was a badge of honor and “womanhood.”

When I finished my seventh grade year and still didn’t have mine, I felt childish and not grown up like the other girls.

When I finally did get my first period it was the summer between the seventh and eighth grade and I was 12, not exactly the late bloomer I thought I was. My sister had been teasing me for over a year that my period would come soon. Still, when I looked down and saw blood in the toilet, and in my underwear for the first time, I completely panicked. I was living with my grandparents at the time and my mother and sister were away. I remember getting

incredibly dizzy and lying down on the bathroom floor in the most dramatic way possible. My grandmother had no pads or tampons in the house, and I was convinced I needed to wait for my mom who would be home the next day to buy them. I cannot understand now why I was so upset and confused. I guess nothing could truly prepare me for the image of blood coming from the area of my body that most confused and scared me as a child, my vagina.

II. The World It’s easy enough for me to rant to a piece of paper about my period, particularly as a cis-woman living in the western world. I am fortunate enough to come from a family of women where we were able to openly discuss our periods, and I still freaked the hell out when I got mine. To me, this only highlights the intense need to break the taboo of menstruation, and as an extension of that, vaginal health.

India is one of the world’s largest economies, but even as business

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expands, school sanitation remains inadequate and detrimental to female education.

Adolescent girls often drop out due to having no access to a toilet. In fact, over 2.4 billion people around the world live without access to sanitation facilities adequate to deal with vaginal bleeding. Sanitary napkins remain too expensive for many girls who have to resort to using bundles of cloth to deal with their periods.

As the conversation of female empowerment grows globally, the conversation of periods, and period care, needs to grow at the same rate. Although global initiatives to empower girls and women to go to school exist, many of the practical issues that keep girls from school are overlooked.

A few organizations, such as Days for Girls, provide reusable pads to girls in nations with little access to adequate supplies and sanitation. Still, cultural taboos keep dealing with menstruation a covert process, which leaves more room for abnormal, unhealthy periods to

go unnoticed.

Vaginal bleeding itself goes beyond periods and womanhood.

Even in high-income nations, conditions like menorrhagia (excessively heavy and prolonged menstrual bleeding), fibroids and cancer are often kept out of period education.

My friend Olivia spoke to me about her experience with menorrhagia. She was put on the pill as a young teen to deal with the bleeding, but her doctor never informed her about the risks and side effects of hormonal birth control. Instead of being provided with resources to deal with her bleeding without detriment to her well-being, she was handed a quick fix. After years of migraines and depression, she did her own research and realized that these symptoms are often side effects of hormonal birth-control.

She recently opt to have a copper IUD instead and has noticed an improvement in her mental health and migraines.

Olivia chooses to control her period with a menstrual cup, which she discovered also through her own research. Now, this isn’t to say that hormonal birth control is the wrong choice for everyone, but it goes to show that our conversation of sexual and vaginal health is often limited. Preference should not be put on merely sweeping issues of vaginal bleeding under the rug and applying a quick fix without examining all the options.

I spoke with Charlie, a non-binary student who experiences heavy periods, exacerbated by their IUD. As Charlie pointed out, they could get

their IUD removed, but fear doing that given our current government administration and the threat of losing access to birth control.

Charlie explained, “[menstruation] makes me feel like my femininity is taking over my whole body. I bleed everywhere, I have cramps, it only reminds me that at the end of the day I have no actual control over my body.”

III. The Future Charlie’s period is not going to go away anytime soon and there isn’t much that can be done about that. However, there are ways in which we c a n address how

society has failed Charlie, and others like them. Here in America, one of the richest and most developed nations in the world, we see notable lack in the areas of period education and accommodation. As it stand today, only 13 out of our 50 states have no tax on menstrual hygiene products. In the majority of states, pads and tampons are taxed as a luxury item, despite menstruation being a global condition that one cannot simply opt-out of. Only this year has a 79

law been passed to require federal prisons to provide menstrual products to inmates. Last year, New York City passed the first ever legislation making menstrual products freely available in public schools. Still, periods are associated almost explicitly with femininity and womanhood, and intersex, trans, and nonbinary people are left completely out of the conversation. The necessity of breaking the stigma around periods and their assumption that only women menstruate is staggering.

A few colleges, such as the University of Wisconsin at Madison and Brown University have begun offering menstrual products in men’s and gender-neutral bathrooms, in the face of backlash.

There is something uniquely intimate and vulnerable about periods. It’s the only kind of blood that doesn’t come from a wound. Despite its universality, periods have been neglected by our global conversation about health and gender for far too long. Now, dialogue about menstruation has become intrinsic to western feminism in many ways. Still, we as a society have endless room to grow in regards to understanding periods as they relate to gender, sexuality, and health.

As we look toward the future of vaginal health, we have to expand our understanding of menstruation as a dealt-with and unconcerning women’s issue.

Periods aren’t going anywhere. The sooner we figure out solutions to this age old problem, the better. That begins with destigmatizing the conversation, opening up our understanding of gender, and ending the neglect of people with periods in developing nations. words Abigail Baldwin illustration Sabrina Ortiz // Julianna Sy

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“There was only one punk band. The rest is a fashion statement,” said JJ Gonson, owner and operator of ONCE Ballroom in Somerville, MA.

Former manager of Portland, Oregon based indie-alternative rock band Heatmiser, Gonson was present during the post-punk wave of the ‘80s and ‘90s. Preferring to manage bands rather than be in them herself, she became closely acquainted with some of the most important bands of that era, among them Nirvana, Mud Honey, and The Melvins.

“Actual, real punk only existed for one year—1977, the year The Sex Pistols put out ‘Never Mind the Bollocks,’ the only true punk record,” she explained.

Thalia Zedek, American singer, guitarist, and active member of countless bands on the Boston music scene since the early eighties, had a different opinion—she was confident that The Ramones were actually the first punks, and that The Sex Pistols had been inspired by them.

With a scene as subjective as this, it seems the jury will remain out.

While the true origin of the punk movement may be up for debate, the spirit of punk is one that both Zedek and Gonson agree on.

To Zedek, the essence of punk boils down to the birth of what she calls the “anti-professional” musician. “If you want to pick up a guitar and start a band, just do it, you know?” she said in reference to the sentiment of the time. “Whether or not you can play great, it’s more about the attitude, the message.”

The behavior of dissent that began in the UK in the late seventies seemed to pull teenagers by the lapels, out of after-school activities and into punk rock clubs.

Underground, independent record companies were started and raucous house shows were thrown.

Zedek remembered the seedy Boston punk scene, in which strip clubs by day turned into punk rock clubs at night. Though she said the scene was short lived, for a brief time it was very much alive. She

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recalled shows with messages like “Rock Against Sexism,” inspired by similar efforts in Britain under the moniker “Rock Against Racism.”

The reason punk was so short lived, according to Gonson, is that it’s an oxymoron.

“Punk can’t be authentic, the same way that anarchy can’t really be authentic,” she explained.

“To really be punk, you can’t be structured in any way. You have to be antithetical to everything you do.”

To even organize a show and form a band is technically anti-punk, which at its core opposes any attempt to organize or incorporate.

Zedek’s thoughts echoed this. “[Punk] just meant to kind of not give a shit,” she said of the movement.

Gonson was firm in her stance.

“There was one punk record. The rest is a fashion statement,” she explained. “To be a punk is to be a person that riles things up, a brat.

When you talk about punk rock, [you’re talking about] a sound and a look, fashion and lifestyle. There’s politicized punk rock, but that’s not what punk is.”

There was a time when Gonson tried to escape the music scene.

When Heatmiser originally asked her to be their manager, she refused, choosing instead to travel Europe and pursue a degree in art education. She might never have gone back to music if it wasn’t for one random coincidence. Gonson just happened to be in London.

“I came out of the tube and someone called my name,” she recalled. “It was Nirvana.”

The band invited her to come with them to Reading, England, where they were performing in a music festival.

“All my friends were there— it was bizarre. Mudhoney, The Melvins, Nirvana...all these people that I knew.”

It was this experience that

brought Gonson back into the field of music. “Everyone was like, ‘Where have you been?’” she recalled, to which she responded, “I’ve decided not to do music anymore.” Her friends were shocked and appalled. “They were all like, ‘Why would you say that?

This is who you are, this is what you do,’” she said.

Gonson soon ended up back in Portland, where she agreed to manage Heatmiser. The rest is history. She now owns her own catering company dedicated to the “locavore” lifestyle, called Cuisine en Locale, which has been running for 13 years. Music found its way back into her life once again when

she opened up ONCE Ballroom, an event space and popular spot to catch local bands.

Zedek’s band, called simply “E,” is one such band. Formed in 2013 with Jason Sanford and Gavin McCarthy, they describe their sound as “post-industrial analog music for humans.”

We caught E’s last performance until the spring at a friends-only gig on Halloween night. Attendees dressed up in Halloween garb, including Zedek herself, who was decked out in what looked like a silver trash bag, in true punk I-just-threw-this-on fashion. She looked like a rock ‘n’ roll alien giving a performance on

Mars, pausing between songs to slug from a can of PBR. Guitarist and singer Jason Sanford played a handmade, deconstructed guitar with only a headstock, neck, and skeleton of welded steel. The body of the instrument is just air—you could stick your hand straight through it. Zedek’s guitar is unique as well, adorned with a prominent “FCK NZS” sticker. She surprised us halfway through the show by whipping out a slide, with which she wailed on the strings percussively, like a DJ would scrub a vinyl record.

While E does not identify as punk, the influence is there. Some

songs began softly before breaking into a loud, driving chorus. Some started off screaming and then backed off into quiet verses. The result was pure ecstatic noise.

Though no member of E is under 50, they succeeded in rocking harder than most bands half their age. The audience seemed to know how unique of a spectacle it was—their eyes squeezed shut in rapture, heads banging to the music.

When asked for their opinion on today’s popular music, Zedek and Gonson again had different perspectives.

Currently raising teenage kids, Gonson had a softer outlook on 83

top 40 artists, judging them on an individual basis. While she said she’s a fan of big acts like Katy Perry and Rihanna, she lamented the modern music industry’s move away from high caliber recording.

“We’ve dumbed down our expectations of quality,” she said.

Zedek, a champion of the underground scene, was more critical.

“The way the music is today,” she said, “is almost like what my generation was rebelling against.” words Margeaux Sippell photos Corey Popowsk // Dakotah Malisoff

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Continuing the Legacy of Helmut Lang

Helmut Lang feels more like a folk hero than a real life person. A boy raised in the mountains of Austria, he descended from the heavens and blessed the common-folk of the world with cutting edge garments that would define style for the next 30 years. And then he disappeared forever, taking his clothes and legacy with him... never to be seen again.

Helmut Lang walked away from his brand to start his art career and hasn’t looked back, but the fashion world refuses to let him go.

He’s everywhere you look—his designs have become so widespread most wouldn’t even acknowledge them as anything other than basics. We can thank Lang for bringing low-end fashion like T-shirts and jeans to

the runway. He’s the reason New York Fashion Week comes before all the others. His color palette of black, white, and earth tones are the now the norm. Three-button suits, co-ed runways shows, freed nipples, bondage references and synthetic fabrics are all part of a seemingly endless list of modern fashion standards that can be traced back to this one man.

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Most of the garments from his iconic career are no more.

After donating a large part of his archive to what he deemed were the most important fashion design and contemporary art collections in the world, Lang sent somewhere between six and eight thousand garments through an industrial shredder to create a fabric confetti that was used in his first art show.

Though this marked the death of Lang’s fashion career, his name will live on forever as belonging to the absolute cutting-edge of fashion whether he likes it or not.

After his departure from fashion in 2005, his brand fell into obscurity and has remained relatively untouched—no one person could ever replace him.

The next Helmut Lang will work for no other label than their own.

To continue the legacy of the designer and the brand, one person alone cannot be trusted.

Only a team of individuals with a masterful understanding of the brand and modern trends could maintain the brand’s original identity while staying relevant.

Helmut Lang the label has done away with the role of creative director and instead selected Isabella Burley to become the house’s editor-in-residence.

Burley will not be reinventing the brand—rather her job is to curate a team of designers and creative types that will continue Lang’s legacy. This should be no problem from her. As the editor-in-chief of Dazed magazine, she is responsible for keeping the publication at the forefront of youth culture since 2015.

To publicize the return of Helmut Lang, Burley brought on Ava Nirui to be the social and digital editor. Most know Nirui as @avanope on Instagram, where she gained a following for her bootleg designer merchandise like Louis Vuitton basketballs and Gucci embroidered champion hoodies.

To call Niru’s designs “knock-offs” would not give her the proper respect she deserves. Nirui reimagines what a luxury item is by combining the logos of fashion’s biggest brands with generally unappealing items. Nirui puts the same effort and care the original designers would have put into a real product to create a bootleg that is just as desirable as the real thing.

Although Nirui was in elementary school while Lang was at the peak of his fame, her experience will continue the prestige of brand while modernizing them with creations that resonate with today’s youth.

She will be a valuable asset to spreading the label to the next generation.

The first designer Burley personally selected was Hood By Air’s Shayne Oliver, who put his own brand on hold to join the new Helmut Lang team. HBA plays with the same bondage elements Lang incorporated into his designs and brings them to a new extreme, where the runway could be easily confused for a dystopian fetish convention. Oliver’s designs are chaotic, so it was an interesting choice to bring him on to take over a brand known for its minimalism.

The first release in Oliver’s residency was a capsule that brought back many of Lang’s most iconic designs for the first time.

While the collection was met with mixed reviews, most were waiting for their highly-anticipated New York Fashion Week show to really see how the relaunch was going.

Entitled, “Helmut Lang Seen By Shayne Oliver” the collection had some standout pieces, but for the most part it felt more like an HBA show than a Helmut Lang one.

Oliver kept the same in-your-face sexual tones consistent in HBA and brought them over into this collection, even though Lang’s use of bondage was much more subtle. Alongside the more conceptual pieces, Oliver also designed the Helmut Lang Autumn Tour 2018 merch. This is the low point of the collection—slapping Lang’s name on an overdone trend doesn’t feel authentic.

There’s no question that band merch is a played out trend—not to mention that the large red box logo with a white font is reminiscent of another tired design. While hopping on the bandwagon will help Helmut Lang reach the Instagrams of youths trying to flex brands they’ve heard in rap songs, it will do little for the legacy of the fashion house and will be forgotten about in a few years time.

The strengths of the show exist in the pieces where Oliver refined 86

his edge and shifted his focus from BDSM to asymmetry. Oliver challenges the mainstream idea of minimalist garments by creating these basic yet uneven designs.

While this show would have been great as HBA’s spring collection, it doesn’t feel 100% like a Helmut Lang show.

And that’s okay.

The conversation surrounding Helmut Lang Seen

By Shayne Oliver should not be centered on if it’s something Lang himself would do, each season should be judged as a stand alone collection. After 12 years of irrelevance, Helmut Lang’s parent company realized there isn’t much leftover from the man himself.

What they have is his legacy and the impact he has had on a new generation of fashion designers.

The new Helmut Lang residency program will let different designers showcase their unique and varied interpretations of the brand. While Oliver was clearly influenced by the sexual side of Helmut Lang, the next designer-in-residence might focus more on Helmut Lang’s denim line, and the next could focus on monochromatic designs.

Each new designer will add their own flair to the brand, which will entice onlookers and keep the brand updated and interesting.

The concept of a rotating designer-in-residency has never been done before. Though the designs will be unpredictable, each new season will bring out a new interpretation of Lang’s legacy. This new direction will transform the brand from trying to live up to a fashion god to a brand paying homage to its founder through the voices of the artists he inspired.

words Dan Kam art Chloe Krammel

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dress DRIES VAN NOTEN

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photos Noah Chiet model Miranda Fayne beauty Courtney Kaner styling Katya Katsnelson // Amanda Zou wardrobe All Too Human

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Sweater SIES MARJAN

blazer DRIES VAN NOTEN pants STYLIST’S OWN

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