CLOUDS_ ZINE by Lily Pearson

ISSUE 001

a fundraiser for BEAT to celebrate the release of Empress Linoleum's EP, CLOUDS_

12.03.21 1

CONTENTS PART ONE CLOUDS concept

03 - 04

lyric booklet:

05 - 12

god complex lightchaser cry baby clouds_ we r 1 life on this wave

PART TWO collaborations romany cavalla cydney shaffer lucy gaia laurie chaussette bev edwards laurie + mossie + empress linoleum

13 - 18 13 - 14 15 15 16 17 17 18 2

c o n c e p t The CLOUDS_ project came to life after I'd written the song of the same name in the middle of lockdown 2.0 in January 2021. I wanted to create a concept EP that had a floaty feel, relating back to clouds. The lyrics talk about feelings; something I've always struggled to do. I wanted to be as real and as relatable as possible whilst still conveying positivity. I've never really been that intimate with my music before, I've always kept it quite vague with my lyrics. CLOUDS_ marks the point of full transparency.

f inspiration. Straight away I had the light on and was rummaging round for a pen before it all dissolved. I'd had this idea for a while, that I wanted to take part in or lead a fundraiser for Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2021 [1st - 7th march] but I wasn't sure how and to be honest I had a lot of anxiety about it. That morning, ideas were flowing and the cogs continued turning for 2 or 3 hours before I got back to sleep. I came to the final idea of creating a zine, in relation to the release of my EP.

I battled with eating disorders for a large part of my teen/adult life so this was something important to me. I'd never really faced up to my past until the pandemic happened. I'd been better for a few years but I guess the months spent in lockdown brought everything I'd buried to the surface. In a way, this was the best thing to happen to me as it made me realise I still had a lot of healing to do. Just because my body was 'better' didn't mean my mind was. I notice now, through the practise of mindfulness, that old thought patterns are still prevalent. I'd stopped acting on them a long time ago but they still existed in my mind. This was an ongoing struggle to constantly run away from a huge part of my past and I knew that I just had to go right into and accept it in order to move on.

I'd shut off that part of my life completely and ignored that I'd ever battled Anorexia. Although at first that was kind of scary to admit, it was relieving to finally accept that things do take time and with a bit of awareness you CAN get better. At the end of 2020, I moved back to the UK from Berlin and started to process all these feelings that came up. I sat with them, no matter how uncomfortable they were and most importantly I didn't judge them or cling to them. Thoughts only have a hold if you try to resist them. I think that's the biggest lesson I've learned. Thank you to everyone who believed I could get better and gave me the space and time to grow into myself (u know who u are). I hope u enjoy CLOUDS_ and that it sparks inspiration in any and every way.

m u e l o n i s L s e r p Em

x 4

[hook] i aint

f*%^in g with no God i just wanna Comple r x i de, wa thoug ht tha nna fl ex, t i was but i'm differ just l e n i t, ke eve but i'm rybod just l y else ike ev erybo dy els e

[v1] i try so hard to be myself, be myself, i try so hard to be myself, yeah, myself, sometimes i just need help, just need help, God moving through me just like everybody else, ditch the plastic with my ego, i'm feeling that placebo, round and round in circles, that's the way that we go, i thought it would be easy, guess my plan was no so steezy, knock a couple back just to keep myself a float,

[v2] let me go, let me go in peace let me go let me go, gold on ur teeth, let me go, let me go in peace, money don't grow on trees [v3] right click , don't press undo, a download from me to u, tick tock, got the walk on lock, sticky fingers cos ur sniffing glue, some energies make me cry, i feel 'em deep in the middle of the night, panic attck coming from the other side, waking up to see our souls are tied

lightchaser synesthesia on lock, smelling colours on my block, i see the sounds wash through me, my friends think i've lost the plot, from above light bends with space, i'm a different kinda race, ascension through being, right now's the only place. gotta walk the walk if u wanna light talk, build the love, babies dropped by a stork, that fresh little human face, search for the light in the underground cave, i chase, gotta stay brave, they don't wanna escape, all they know is chains, free ur mind cos the heart it breaks

light chaser, take me on a ride through the stars, light chase, light chaser, i just wanna work through my scars, light chase, light chaser, yeh yeh

signing petitions, does it make a difference? at least in my conscience, discover the options, there's strength in numbers, our flames get stronger, this is the end but remember, nothing lasts forever, na nothing lasts forever, nothing lasts forever, na nothing

[hook]

but it's ok, i just gotta escape

light chaser, i just wanna work on myself, light chase, light chaser, everything i need is inside, light chase, light chaser, yeh yeh,

i tell myself, lily u gotta let go, can't save everyone but wanna let them know, we're in the middle of a breakthrough, stay holy, stay true, cos when then day comes, no one's gonna save u, we got this, got no choice i got love, so i use my voice,

reverse the damage i have made, i just gotta be brave

[hook]

[v2]

but it's ok, everyone makes mistakes, i just gotta keep my head straight

i just wanna make this world a better place, i just wanna reverse the damage i have made

[v1]

lightchaser

CRY [hook] i don't wanna b no CRY BABY holdin it all inside lately excuse the mess i made i don't wanna b no cry baby take a look at urself lately i dont wanna fall off this CLOUD

[v1] raining down from the heavens to earth, it's cos he really cares that he makes us work, it's the only way we'll learn, i don't gotta prove my worth, cos we are all LOVED lovliest vibe that u've seen all week, i keep it fresh with that tongue in cheek, they be trippin over the words that i speak, bubbles over flowin as i brush my teeth

BABY [hook] i don't wanna b no CRY BABY holdin it all inside lately excuse the mess i made i don't wanna b no cry baby take a look at urself lately i dont wanna fall off this CLOUD

[v2]

picking up litter is my past time, cleaning the earth til the stars shine, mother beneath us, father above, i feel the sun when i think of that love, can't believe it took this long to realise, this world is ending right in front of my eyes, please be conscious of your buyS, they might choose your demisE, gotta be responsible with how u spend ur time!

RECYCLING AIN'T THE ANSWER WHEN WE'RE DROWNING IN DISASTER

[excuse the mess i made] RECYCLING AIN'T THE ANSWER THESE CRACKS NEED MORE THAN A PLASTER

[idon't wanna fall off this CLOUD]

CL ouds_ e g th ggin sky u h s k] cirru now n't k why [hoobe like a o d i nd i e till a s of th y a k t c s a 't eb can ce n th o d sour hin e i e r h r t t ca ing a go wi w i be s o l l t fo got wing

[v1]

never sink my roots, don't know how,

always on the move, they can't pin me down. it's the only way i grew, i'm not over u, guess that's how i live my life, can't press undo. i hope u don't mind, i'm like a [cloud] in the sky, i just float off without saying goodbye 9

] [v2 lived a life of turbulence, now tryna slow down,how many songs will i write, will it ever fade out? stop wasting time, ur not blind, let it go but when ur walkin away u wanna be mine. not good at emotions, but i try to show them, i may be cracked but i'm sure as hell not broken [i don't feel lonely when i'm alone, i just be floatin through the ozone]

the ing ky g g s hu k] a cirrus o now k o t [h be like on' why d i i and e still of th y a k t c s a t ' he b can ce on t d sour hin e i e r h r t t i ca wingtta go w i be s o l l o f go wing

CLoud s_ 10

isy, bit bru e l t t i l , peach e, i'm a a m e t ] k r k i l u o [ho , just on't h urities c oooh d e s n i your cos we rough h t t h e rig we r 1 ee i se b y e n ho [v1] [v2] spiritual gangsta, what u got on fighting each other cos we're all me? so blind, open up ur text book on page 3, pull this wool from over my still learning, what can u see? eyes, observing, 1, 2, 3, I'm lost in this city, my thoughts like a constant are you coming with me? stream, [v3] filling up the silence cos they They told me my voice was way can't be, too loud, watching violence on TV, put me in a box i could never all i can say is that ain't me, get out, don't wanna fill my brain with we keep going round and ACV, round, till we heal the bruise or we hit [hook] the ground, that's why i'm screaming til my voice runs out, tryna make a world where we can all be proud

LIFE ON THIS W A V E [V1]

[V2]

JUST AN ANGEL ON THE PATH TO

SHEDDING THEM SCALES MAKING

PERFECTION,

ROOM FOR THE FEATHERS,

FLYING SO LOW I CAN SEE THE

STORM CLOUDS PASS, GUESS

FLUXION,

THAT'S MOVING THE WEATHER,

SUCKED INTO A VORTEX,

I ZOOM PAST UR GET UP,

ABRUPTION,

LAPPING THAT ZEBRA,

DOESN'T MATTER COS THE CODE'S IN

I'M RUNNING HE AIN'T DINNER,

ME,

I'M JUST AIMING FOR THE

0 TO 1'S THAT'S A BINARY SEA

WINNER

HEAL MY ENERGY, THE CRACKS WILL NEVER BE SEEN,

[V3] MANS WILL NEVER FEAR TIL THEY

LOVE ON THE OTHER SIDE,

WAKE FROM THEIR DREAMS,

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN,

MANS WILL NEVER FEAR TIL THEY

WAKE FROM THEIR DREAMS,

[HOOK]

SO I'LL KEEP ON DOING WHAT I'M DOING,

[V4]

PAY MY BILLS WITH THE MONEY

SOMETHING'S GOTTA CHANGE,

THAT I'M MAKING,

WE'RE DROWNING IN OUR

IT'S ALL GOOD,

WASTE,

ON LOCK WITH MANIFESTING,

I'M TEARING AT THE THREADS TO

IT'S ALL LOVE JUST REMEMBER,

SEW THIS PLANET BACK AGAIN,

SO I'LL KEEP ON DOING WHAT I'M

I CAN'T HOLD IT FOREVER,

DOING,

C'MON U GOTTA GET UP,

HEAD HELD HIGH SEE WHERE I'M

CAN'T B THE ONLY 1 WHO FEELS

GOING, GOING,

THE STORMY WEATHER

FUTURE'S SO BRIGHT, CAN U SEE IT GLOWING? LIFE ON THIS WAVE'S ALWAYS FLOWING

[HOOK]

collaborations

@romanycavalla

The Water Psychle. by Lucy Thought showers become brain storms, Charged with static and vibrational frequencies. Streams of consciousness fall, turning into rivers of tears. The Sea of Tranquillity ebbs and flows, Its tidal waters dark and deep. Thoughts evaporate into clouds of emotion. Droplets coalesce, gathering together. Still and silent, under the gravitational pull, Moon beams dance on the open water. 15

photography by Cydney Shaffer

poem by gaia Wish I knew what clouds thought of us, Took mother wealth, fraudulent

earth’s we’re

and now i never gazed at a sky so jaded, call the police, the neighbour’s been raided clouds talk to ground and rivers and sea, like my old spoke to me,

neighbour

she was nice, rightly cautious,

and

“you’re blessed stay away from darkness”

but the

clouds and me get to speak,

never

they avoid whenever our meet,

me eyes

apart from when thunder claps,

the

and floods the darkness off its maps 16

by laurie chaussette @lauriechaussette

by bev edwards @bev.edwards.illustrations

by empress linoleum by laurie chaussette @lauriechaussette

@empresslinoleum.png

by mossie

ISSUE 001

N N

thank u to: & LUCY * ROMANY * GAIA LAURIE * CYD * BEV * MOSSIE

available on all streaming platforms from 12th march

all profit made from the sale of CLOUDS Zine, issue 001 goes to BEAT ED charity.