Overcoming 'That' Social Media Comparison

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through Facebook or Instagram thinking, I wish I had 'that', looked like 'that' or could do 'that'?

In a world that’s so driven by social media, the highlight reel from others can look so tempting and desirable for our own lives. The reality is there’s usually a filter we and others try to live behind. When the mask of the filter is removed, we begin to uncover a raw, real truth. Not everything is perfect. There are flaws and brokenness; but yet why do we still fall into comparison?

The world screams at us different messages—that we are to look one way, act a certain way and do amazing things. If we don’t, it’s as if our lives aren’t fulfilled, that we haven’t lived our lives to the fullest. We’re actually searching for something to fill the void—the void inside our souls that makes us feel affirmed, valued, heard and loved. The void that will always and forever remain hollow unless it’s filled by a relationship with Jesus.

Comparing Can Lead To Struggle

When you think about it, comparison always leads to a path of resentment of God’s goodness in others’ lives. All along, we are ignoring his blessings in our own lives. Comparison was a struggle for Jesus’ disciples too. In John 21, Peter struggled with comparing himself to John. John was known as the disciple whom Jesus loved.And after Peter denied Jesus three times, he probably felt like he had a lot to live up to. Regardless, Jesus said “Follow me” to Peter. Peter hesitated and said but wait Jesus... what about John? Peter instantly compares his life with John’s, when all along Jesus had a specific path for Peter and He said, “Follow me.”Peter was measuring his worth, value, and mission to John’s. He couldn’t fathom that his mission was also equally important.How often do we do that? How often do we compare our path of life to someone else’s when all along God has a specific path for us?

Let’s get to the root of it. An underlying root is displayed in a story from the Old Testament. It’s a story about Saul and David from 1 Samuel.

Saul was disobedient to the Lord in various ways and lost the throne as King. David was a man after God’s own heart and was anointed as King but didn’t take the throne right away.

A harmful spirit entered into Saul after his disobedience. The only way to soothe his tormented spirit was to play musical instruments to his soul, and David was chosen to play the lyre in his presence. David did no wrong to Saul, and at first David found favor in Saul’s eyes. However, when Saul saw David defeat Goliath and heard the women of Israel that came to greet him singing, dancing, and celebrating saying: “Saul has struck down his thousands and David his ten thousands” (ESV-1 Samuel 18:7b), he became jealous.

It even goes on to say that “Saul eyed David from that day on” (ESV-1 Samuel 18:9). Saul’s jealousy led him to anger against David. However, if we go back and look at David’s record with Saul again, he did nothing to harm Saul.

Let's Not Play 'God' The more we compare our lives to others, jealousy and anger manifest deep in our hearts—even if that person didn’t do anything against us!

Then we play God, and it’s as if we’re saying: “God, the life you’ve given me isn’t actually good enough; I know what’s best and I want what they have.”

God is the one who knows the plans for our lives and he is the one that knows our inmost being. Psalms says “you formed our inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (ESV-Psalm 139:13-14).

We should praise him and remember that he has created us with a unique purpose that’s different than anyone else. You may be thinking okay but how does this look practically when I’m facing comparison as I’m scrolling through social media every day?

Three ways that I’ve found most beneficial are:

1) Choose not to look at social media first thing in the morning.

When you look at social media right away, that’s what starts your day. It can affect your mood, attitude and outlook on the day before you. Instead, make it a priority to pray for at least three specific people before getting out of bed.

2) Stay off social media after 7
pm.

Try it out! It might sound crazy at first but when you give yourself a curfew for checking social media, it gives you freedom to use your time wisely in other beneficial ways. Instead, read a devotional or Bible scripture plan before going to sleep.

3) Unfollow people who you tend to compare your life to.

This one's tricky, I absolutely hate unfollowing people for the fear that it will upset them. But in reality, what’s hurting and upsetting your soul and heart matters more. Also, I’m sure if the person knew you were comparing their life to yours, they’d want you in the healthiest state, too. Instead, follow people you know you won’t gravitate to compare your life to.

Hopefully with these practical tips and biblical truths we can overcome this war—the war of social media comparison.

We can use godly perspectives and practical applications so that our lives ultimately reflect Christ. From that we can walk in the purpose God has for our own lives and live not in comparison but instead celebration of others.

~Nettie Clawson