MILITARY WEDDING Etiquette & Tips

PREPAREDNESS and research are key to any military wedding, and while there are no strict laws in their regard, proper etiquette is always appreciated and admired. So with the help of our real Veteran bride Cassandra Brusie who was featured on the previous pages, we bring you the following tips to help you plan your big day:

Your location is the first thing to consider. Having a wedding in a military chapel or at your sweetheart’s military academy/installation comes with a set of rules that may differ from that of a traditional house of worship or ceremony location. So be sure and discuss the ceremony do’s and don’ts with your chaplain. Find out what music is allowed. Make sure whether or not you can bring in your own floral arrangements. Assume nothing, including whether or not your photographer can take photos during the actual ceremony. If you or your fiancé are planning on marrying at a non-military location and one of you is still in service, be sure and run it by your installation, just in case, too.

In terms of what to wear, service women have the option of wearing their dress uniform or a traditional wedding dress. Service men, on the other hand, are required to wear the dress uniform. Veterans are welcomed to wear the dress uniform representing their branch of service as long as it adheres to “military standards.” Rips, tears, stains, or size issues (too tight or too loose) are not acceptable. Proper presentation of military dress uniform ribbons and medals must also be considered. If the uniform is not up to standard, consider donning a yellow rose boutonniere or yellow ribbon on your civilian dress attire to signify veteran status. Men in dress uniform do not wear boutonnieres. Instead, they wear their military decorations. Typically blue uniforms are worn in winter and white ones are worn during the summer months. You will also see white gloves and swords at Navy and Coast Guard weddings as well as sabers used at Army and Marine Corp weddings. Unlike a non-military wedding, the bride will stand to the groom’s right in order to avoid the saber or cutlass on his side. The rest of your non-military bridal party can wear whatever dress attire they would normally traditionally wear, but we would recommend keeping it at a level formal and respectful to match the solemnity of the occasion.

After the actual ceremony, there is a unique tradition that many military weddings include called the Arch of the Sabers or the Arch of the Rifles. This is where the couple exits the ceremony under an archway of sabers, swords, or rifles held by an honor guard holding the ceremonial weapons. It signifies the couple’s safe passage into the new life that they have joined together. It can be done with civilian ushers mixed in, but we recommended that you consult with your chaplain to discuss protocol for the specifics because protocol differs with each branch of the commissioned officer.

Military receptions should be booked in a timely manner just like any other reception whether they are planned on the base or off. On base locations include officer clubs, meeting halls, and hotels. Whatever your location, though, military members should be seated by rank and title. So you want to seat captains by captains and sergeants by sergeants, etc. All high ranking officials should be seated in positions of honor both at the ceremony and reception, and the commanding officer of the bride or groom should be reserved a special place at the reception as well. Not familiar with the ranks? Be sure and brush up on your military jargon so that you feel comfortable introducing your military guests to your civilian guests who attend your wedding.

Some last words of advice… remember to be respectful of what the uniform stands for. Consult your Chain of Command, and thoroughly research Branch specific regulations concerning alcohol consumption, “dress down” policies, dancing, etc., for uniformed wedding party members. When in doubt, always consult your Chain of Command! You represent our Country’s finest. Do so with dignity and grace, and above all, keep your conduct in order and honor the guests, family, and friends who have come to see your big milestone event!