& Wisdom

Auntie Oscar's Advice...

The University of Bristol’s third most insu erable homosexual is here to o er his words of wisdom to all who ask! This month’s theme? 4 tips for how to get a date...

1. Be confident, but not cocky!

Everybody loves confidence, it’s sexy! But don’t mistake your ego for confidence. Remember you are asking them to give you a chance, so please phrase it as a question. Often the easiest way to go about it is to be simple and to the point, e.g. “hey, I really like you, do you want to go on a date some time?”, it’s confident, clear and to the point (and the worst they can say is no!) Another bonus tip: if they say no, please be respectful, no one likes a d*ck.

2. Have a plan

This goes for the asking and the date. Think about a good time to ask them, don’t yell it in the middle of a quiet seminar, for example. Think about what to suggest; are they a drinks, co ee or dinner person? Do they value their independence? If so, maybe let them choose. Which brings me on to my next point…

3. Always be thinking of them

I want to preface this by saying, don’t do anything you don’t want to do! What I mean is, make sure that your cutie is comfortable. If they get cold, put a jacket around them, if they don’t like the place you’re in, get the bill and go somewhere else. Also, before the date, ask them what sort of stu they like. Maybe they’re better suited to a Spoons than a fancy restaurant, or a takeaway co ee and a walk through the park rather than a few drinks and heading back to you place ;)

4. Be yourself!

Yes it’s corny it’s cheesy it’s overdone it’s a cliché but it’s also TRUE! Now, should you burp the alphabet and answer “what do you do in your spare time?” with: “play video games, cry about disabled cats on TikTok and masturbate too much for a grown adult”? NO OF COURSE NOT! A little bit of lying and embellishing is necessary, but you shouldn’t pretend to be a di erent person entirely. After all, if you guys date an idea of each other, when that illusion shatters, so will the relationship. Also, I guarantee that people will find your authentic self, charming or sexy or cute or fun, or all of them, so go get ‘em tiger!

Dating is hard and scary, but I hope that this has helped. You didn’t want it, you didn’t ask for it, so here you go!