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CHAIRMAN AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Lumbie Mlambo EDITORIAL DIRECTOR/CHIEF EDITOR Lumbie Mlambo
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what you should know All items listed here can be found on the Equanimity Web site. You can also e-mail us from the Equanimity Web site. HAVE A STORY TO SHARE ON EQUANIMITY? E-mail your name and contact information only to: info@equanimitymag.com WANT TO SUBSCRIBE TO EQUANIMITY? subscribe@equanimitymag.com
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EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
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premiere edition
51
33
departments self expression
6
POETRY Chilvary
6
BE OUR NEXT… We Are Looking for You!
7
FROM THE EDITOR Lumbie Mlambo
fitness & nutrition 8
FUN IN THE SUN Work Out Plan
10
RUNNING Athlete’s Love
11
BROKEN HEART Repair Techniques
cover story
contents
21
12
EARLY DETECTION Save Your Life
14
“SPICY” FOODS ADD WARMTH Health Tips
fashion & style 17
NOVA LORRAINE Design
20
TIMELESS FASHION Empower - Embrace
heart & soul 21
AMERICAN IDOL MOM’S Finding Peace
balance advice 37
BALANCED THINKING Starting Point
38
WAYS TO STAY BALANCED Foundations of Life
40
ONE GREAT RESOLUTION Effective Communication
43
MEAL TIME Family Matters
45
PRICELESS IDEAS Time Fact
future kids 47
EDUCATION IN USA Setting Standards
48
AMERICA’S RICHEST KIDS Mark Victor Hansen
22
CLASSICAL MUSIC EFFECTS Memory Effects
self expression
24
BALANCING CHRISTIANITY Christianity
56
25
MARRIAGE - DIVORCE #1 Cause
51
28
FULL TILT Your Comedian
CHILD PRODIGY Olivia Bennett
53
29
Passion To Teach Excellence Challenge
SMALL STEPS Positive Future
32
RELATIONSHIP ISSUES Two-Way Street
33
LUCIA’S SURVIVAL GUIDE Get Organized
36
TIC TAC HEART Power of Art
A PRESCRIPTION THAT WORKS! Renee Hornbuckle Says “Take it with obedience”
Photography by Kauwuane Burton Face: M.A.C, Flori Roberts Hairstylist: Kristie Withers Lips: ColorMe Beautiful Makeup Artist: Shonny Young Eyes: M.A.C, Earth & Glow Minerals
56
celebrate you 61
36
YES SHE DID 50 Plus
self expression poetry Chivalry What ever happened to chivalry? When honesty and agape love ruled from sea to sea. When brave men only fought for honor or a queen’s smile, Not for simple miscues, or brutish whims full of deceit and guile. What is chivalry? You ask of me, It is a state of mind, a state of fidelity. When a man loves, values, and respects God, Family, and Nature, Then chivalric is his mind, makes him good man of stature. A lost art, a pleasant dream of history, So shortly lived, a relic, and a mystery. To men of this time, who shall surely soon repent, Of their sadistic days, and how they are spent. It is our duty, as guides through this worldly jungle, To not only be and stay at our peak, but also be ever so humble. To the life before us that we do see, And respects the lady just short of the Trinity. Now come truth, Love, Bravery, and Honor, Cast yourselves in servile armor. And fight undauntedly again into man’s heart, Clutch him with tightest grasp... and from within, never depart. — Rogers Vigne
be our next
YOU COULD BE NEXT ON OUR COVER We are looking for you! Do you
have a compelling story to share with us? Your story has to mean something to you. It has to bring about balance and change. Most of all, it has to empower others enough to seek change and pursue their dreams. Submit a brief summary of your story only on our website at www.equanimitymag.com and click the Contact Us/Feedback link to fill out the form or email a summary of your story only to info@equanimitymag.com Email Subject line “Submit Story”. We will contact you if we are interested in pursuing your story.
Attention Models (men, women, and children of all ages) We hold model competitions once a year to select the hardest working model. Share your success and inspire other models to follow your footsteps. You have to be a paid model to win this competition. Enter our contest and be featured in our magazine. Submit yourself at www. equanimitymag.com . Please DO NOT send us photos. We will contact every contestant for an evaluation.
6
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
from the editor “I will live through this! I will pick up the pieces and go on with my life! It won’t be easy, but I KNOW I CAN DO IT!” Times are hard, but when you talk to yourself this way, you know you have passion and you’re true to yourself. How do you get over the hard times? Hard times due to economy downturn … loss of a loved one … loss of a job … shame …bankruptcy … you name it. In talking with many hard-working individuals who contributed content to this publication, we found one thing to be common: PASSION, not just to their cause but to others’. Mark Victor Hansen says we must live the assumption of the wish fulfilled to create the life we deserve. David Dayan Fisher says you cannot rely on anybody or anything for your happiness. Lucia Campilongo talks about the importance of spending time with family and practicality. Olivia Bennett enjoys her gift of painting and is eager to share her talents with others. Oliver Tull brings laughter and makes everyone happy, and therefore he’s happy too. Jodi Sparks’ maternal love is a driving force in helping her daughter Jordin reach her ultimate dreams and goals. In our search for that certain someone to grace our Premiere Edition, we caught up with Renee Hornbuckle and were pleased to learn that she freely shares her secret to making it “when the whole world has turned against you”. Renee would tell you that to really know who you are, test your strength in bad times. Strength is important, and Renee combines passion with self-awareness to make things work. If you’re obedient to yourself and have passion for something, it helps you focus on achieving your goals. In our cover search, it was important to find someone who has lived through trials; could have given up – but didn’t; who is influential; and beautiful inside and out. Renee qualifies, and we hope her story helps you find balance. Passion plays a major role, even in this bad economy. If that wasn’t the case, many people would have given up a long time ago. As you read this, ask yourself these questions: Am I strong in good times only? Would I stand the test of strength in bad times? How strong am I? How passionate and obedient am I to my cause? Is my passion helping me find the balance in life? There is balance in everything! You too can contribute to being a part of something that shapes our society, rebuilds the economy, and makes us united.
Lumbie Mlambo, Editor-in-Chief E QU A N IMITY MA G. CO M
7
fitness & nutrition work out plan
FUN IN THE SUN D
A Workout Plan with Anthony Stone
rop and give me 20! This is some-
thing you would hear from your drill sergeant in a basic training camp.
When you also hear this you think of a group
4th Exercise
ing the exercises together. This is a great way
ground, and jog back down. One round
of soldiers standing in formation and perform-
Jog the length of the field, touch the
to enjoy the sun and get a good workout with
trip is a rep. Do eight round trips.
some friends.
Make sure you have a cool down period by walking
the length of the field for 5
Here is a boot camp workout that would make your local army recruiter proud:
minutes. Then stretch each
Location: Neighborhood Park, High
flexibility and keep muscle
School football field, or backyard
Warm-Up: Walk the length of the field 5 times to loosen up
1st Exercise
Bodyweight lunges when you bring your feet together go into a squat. Then do the opposite leg lunge, when feet come together, squat. When you have reached the end of the field stop and do mountain climbers alternating legs 25 reps each leg. Do this
muscle group worked for a
10 count this will promote soreness to a minimum.
This workout is good for all
fitness levels. You can start
with the back yard if you are a beginner. If you’re hard
core, you can venture over to the football field.
You can also modify the
exercise down and back.
amount of reps you do and
2nd Exercise
The goal is to be able to
Jumping jack into a bodyweight squat doing 30 reps consecutively alternating between both exercises.
3rd Exercise
10 bodyweight pushups then bear crawl 5 steps then 10 pushups do this for the length of the field. At the end of this exercise do 100 abs crunches. This will keep your heart rate up.
8
Finally
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
the distance.
complete the workout without stopping.
Remember: Make sure you’re hydrated by drinking your 8 - 10 8 oz. glasses a day. Also, consult with your family physician before you do any exercise program.
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fitness & nutrition athlete’s love
A Love For Running By Jenyl Nacua
R
unning can be done for fit-
the actual route to measure if we
anything less than your best is to sac-
it is a passion. Running is a
limit of just one hour. It fulfilled us
tion because he was unstoppable and
ness, as a sport, or because
physical activity resulting in benefits including weight loss and improve-
ment of cardiovascular health. As a
sport, marathons where a number of runners race to the finish line are very
as beginners until we were able to
participate in more races and even marathons and we could improve our speed and race time.
popular. As a passion, running be-
Running and I have a love/hate re-
life. A runner may love running so
New York’s “The New Balance
comes an important part of a runner’s much that no matter how much their body aches or pain they acquire, they will still run over and over again.
Each runner has their own story on how they began to love running. I
started to run a short time ago. At
first, I did it just for fitness until
lationship as emphasized by BBDO Love/Hate campaign.” Each time I
he believed that nothing is impossible. GoPre.com, a website dedicated in memory of Steve Prefontaine states, “Pre gave us his gift; he ran every race
as if it were his last.” Pre made a mark
on the history of running and inspired many beginners like me with his interesting views.
My love for running increases each
myself out of bed. It doesn’t matter
push myself to bring out my personal
fice but because I love to run I, pull if the weather is not so good, rain
or shine the run will help me push through.
An American runner who died at
training and we even tried running
“Pre” Prefontaine said, “To give
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
rifice the gift.” He is such an inspira-
wake at dawn to run, it is a sacri-
my friends and I decided to join a
5-kilometer run for fun. We needed
10
could make it with the given time
24 in a car accident, Steve Roland
time I finish a race and every time I best. Each time I succeed in this, I ex-
perience a feeling so divine, that the best I can do to share it with you is tell you that my words will never touch
the experience, no matter how many I
use. I am so fortunate to be able to run and this is a gift I will keep. I will run for the rest of my life. E
repair techniques fitness & nutrition
A
s described by Paul McKenna, Ph.D. and Hugh
The first thing to do is to learn the art of acceptance and be
Your Broken Heart, heartbreak is exquisitely
Accept what happened and admit that it was not meant to
actually feel my heart crush and it sometimes feels difficult
hurt. Face the pain, feel it and let it go. As shared in the
to move on and forget the pain. When heartbroken, think-
to let go.
heartbroken, we sometimes think we cannot love again and
Do not be afraid to cry; it is the most helpful way of easing
lost.
closure, then it is fine just focus on the purpose of the con-
At this stage, the greatest difficulty is to accept the situa-
past actions. Instead, keep your wits about you and avoid
Here I Go Again by Whitesnake, “I’m just another heart in
and acceptance.
our heart? There are many things to consider before de-
It is not easy to forget and love again. It is normal for most
I’ve learned: dwelling on the situation makes me less of
tance, it is best to focus on yourself. You may want to look
impossible and things around me are not functioning the
life’s imperfections if necessary. Give yourself a break and
and build the heart back up again.
ries with you. Use those memories to inspire you and make
Willbourn, authors of the book, How to Mend
open to whatever you need in order to embrace the truth.
painful, yet we cannot find an injury on our body. I can
be. Be brave to concede that you are weak and you are
to breathe. A person with a broken heart cries and struggles
show The Wonder Years, maybe part of loving is learning
ing and living your life normally are difficult to do. When that it is impossible to replace the person we loved and
the pain. If there is a need for both of you to talk to have a versation. Do not try to reconcile and do not focus upon
tion and start all over again. Just like a line from the song
becoming too emotional – the goal is to achieve closure
need of rescue.” When can we say that it is time to save
ciding to leave the pain and memories behind. One thing
people to be traumatized by the experience. After accep-
who I really am. If hoping for another chance is almost
at what lead you to this place and overhaul some of your
way they should be, then it is time to pick up the pieces
slowly let go of the feelings but keep the beautiful memo-
you whole again. Prepare to start over with someone new and, when you are ready, love completely, without fear. E
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
11
fitness & nutrition save your life
EARLY DeTeCTION E Q UALS EARLY PRE VE NTION By Jenyl Ybaez, Little Dazzle
B
asic knowledge on common
includes drinking water that is bottled
vention is better than cure” is
peeled food, and washing hands after
illnesses is important. “Pre-
a very common phrase that is sometimes being taken for granted. I’d like to im-
part some illnesses that are frequently
infecting us in general. I say that it is in general because these illnesses do not
choose their target in terms of age, gen-
sanitarily, eating only cooked and defecation and before preparing or
eating food. Note: for detailed infor-
mation, see (http://nursingcrib.com/ nursing-care-plan-amoebiasis; www. mayoclinic.com)
der, or status. Therefore, these illnesses
Second is the production of Gallstones.
have to be conversant of their causes,
terol or calcium salts that form in the
may be suffered by anyone of us. We symptoms, treatments, and most of all their prevention.
First is Amoebiasis, which is a very common infection. Amoebiasis is an infectious disease caused by the parasite Entamoeba histolytica. It is an intestinal infection that may or may not be
symptomatic. The most obvious causes
of this disease are eating contaminated food, anal or directly from person to per-
son contact, unhygienic conditions, and
poor sanitation areas. Symptoms of the infection may include painful passage of stools, loss of weight and appetite, severe stomach pain, profuse diarrhea, abdominal cramps, nausea, and fever. Drug pre-
scription for the treatment of Amoebiasis will depend on the type of clinical pre-
sentation and site of drug action. Severe dysentery may lead to hospitalization for IV fluids and Metronidazole. Prevention
Gallstones are solid deposits of cholesgallbladder or nearby bile ducts. Gall-
stones can be as small as a grain of
sand or as large as a golf ball. There can be just one large stone, hundreds
of tiny stones, or any combination. This may be caused by a combination of factors, including inherited body
chemistry, body weight, gallbladder motility, and perhaps diet. These de-
velop when bile contains too much cholesterol and not enough bile salts. Bile is a greenish-brown fluid com-
posed of bile salts, fatty compounds, cholesterol and other chemicals. Gall-
stone attacks often occur after eating a meal, especially a fatty one. Symptoms are fever and chronic indiges-
tion which may be determined by the presence of nausea, gas, bloating, and sometimes abdominal pain in the up-
per portion that is sudden and intense. Gallstones can block the normal flow
of bile if they lodge in any of the ducts that carry bile from the liver to the small
intestine. Symptoms of bile duct ob-
struction are abdominal pain, yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes, dark
urine, and high fever with chills. Non-
surgical treatments available are Bile
Salt Tablets, Sound Wave Therapy, and Percutaneous Electrohydraulic Lithotripsy and Topical gallstone dissolution.
Surgical treatment is Cholecystectomy. Prevention includes choosing a low-
fat, high fiber diet, avoiding crash diets, maintaining a healthy body weight, los-
ing no more than ½-2 pounds per week, and exercising.
Note: for detailed information, see (www.mayoclinic.com; www.wac.net; http://healthlink.mcw.edu) Prevention is the key. After all, it is more
expensive being sick than it is being healthy. Balance your life! Know in order to prevent! E
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fitness & nutrition warmth
C
ertain spices are known to “warm” the body by pro-
vegetables, rice, and other whole grains. Grated fresh ginger
stimulating nerves, and kick starting the digestive process. Ethnic in origin, the health-promoting spices dis-
Cinnamon, one of the most treasured spices, is highly anti-
moting blood circulation near the skin’s surface,
cussed below not only provide outstanding flavor to foods,
they also create a sensation of warmth that can provide comfort through the coming winter months.
Turmeric, predominant in Indian curry, is a peppery bitter root containing a bioactive orange-yellow pigment known as curcumin. Turmeric is anti-inflammatory, anti-aging, and in-
hibits cancer growth. It adds zesty flavor and bright yellow color to eggs, lentils, cauliflower, and potatoes.
Ginger, aromatic and pungent, is popular in Asian and Indi-
an cuisine. Historically used to treat motion sickness, nausea,
and rheumatoid conditions, ginger also reduces the incidence of stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, atherosclerosis, and tumor
growth. Ginger is a popular ingredient in stir-fries, sautéed
is also a refreshing addition to lemonade.
microbial and anti-inflammatory. Throughout history, cin-
namon has been utilized as a food preservative. Recently, cinnamon has shown to reduce blood glucose levels in type 2 diabetics. Cinnamon provides flavor to quick bread batter, oatmeal, and other cooked cereals. It contributes a Middle Eastern flavor when added to meats or vinaigrette salad dressings.
Cloves, the spice with the highest antioxidant activity, are anti-microbial, cancer-preventive, and anti-inflammatory.
They improve insulin utilization and reduce cardiovascular risk factors in type 2 diabetics. Cloves are used in North African and Middle Eastern cuisines to flavor rice and other grains. They are an ingredient in ginger bread and pumpkin pie and add a savory quality to ham/pork, bean/pea soups, baked beans, and chili.
14
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
Cumin, a nutty peppery seed, works as an antioxidant and
anti-carcinogen. It is commonly found in Mexican chili
and Indian curry. It imparts a smoky flavor to chicken, fish, or vegetables.
Coriander, one of the world’s oldest spices, has long been touted as anti-diabetic, anti-inflammatory, hypo-lipidemic,
and anti-microbial. Coriander is popular in Indian, Chinese, and Latin American cuisines, where it compliments sautéed vegetables or greens, soups, broths, and fish.
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Cayenne, native to the Americas, is a fiery dried red pow-
der that adds spicy warmth to Mexican hot chocolate. It complements pinto beans, black beans, and sautéed vegetables. Cayenne’s antioxidant and anti-inflammatory prop-
erties are attributed to capsaicin, a substance that reduces
arthritic and migraine pain, prevents ulcers, protects cardiovascular health, and relieves nasal congestion.
Black pepper, the most common spice, is a berry with
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properties. It also aids digestion by stimulating taste buds
to secrete hydrochloric acid. Black pepper is a popular ingredient in salad dressings and dry rubs.
Cardamom, an aromatic seed native to India, is best
known as a digestive stimulant. It is commonly found in
Indian desserts and beverages. It is used to flavor coffee in Latin American cuisine. Cardamom provides a pungent flavor to rice, legumes, and curries. E
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design fashion & style
GEISHA
a kimono inspired - Silk dress Coat with Contrast lining
N
ova Lorraine is known for her evening gowns,
She strives to help everyone she touches and uses her
often plays with bold and whimsical prints,
psychology and fashion design to create timeless de-
dress coats and day to evening separates. She
jewel toned colors, as well as embroidered and embellished fabrics. She is not a typical design study. She came to this country as a young child and always knew
in her heart that she would make a difference in the
world one day. As a young adult, she discovered her love for fashion and her passion for color, fabric and texture.
unique combination of professional training in clinical signs which display simple elegance, ageless beauty,
and optimal comfort and versatility. Nova’s mission is to use her designs to help empower women to embrace
their inner beauty and encourage them to never give up on their dreams - no matter what the obstacles. E
fashion & style design
Vamp
Embroidered Silk Dress Coat with Cut Outs on the Upper Sleeves
T he Executive
A Great Look – A Versatile Four Season Dress Coat with Bustier Camisol and “The Perfect Pant” TM
design fashion & style
Finishing Touch
Sunset
A Bias Cut Asymmetrical Lace Gown with Ribbons Hand Laced throughout
Photography by Frederique Porter
An Embroidered Satin Dress Coat with Flared
fashion & style empower - embrace
FOUNDE R MEET THE
Denise Spanek
A
ir Repair Skincare founder,
realized that a dedication to beau-
5 marathons under her belt and one
sionately dedicated her
gives women control of their per-
skincare.
Denise Spanek, has pas-
career to finding highly effective skin and beauty products. She has
flown to many parts of the world in search of these brands. Her mission
has taken her to the souks of Marrakesh and to chic Paris boutiques.
Spanek has been an expert aesthetician for over 20 years, offering up
these products and services at her own San Francisco beauty atelier, Visage Studio. A talented TV and
film make-up artist, Ms. Spanek has worked with high profile celebrities and VIP clients.
Denise is a pioneer in personal in-
novation. At an early age, Spanek
20
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
ty and health is empowering and sonal brand. Spanek created her
amazing skin care line – Air repair
personal brand on a foundation of
The Air Repair® Kit is the only
tinues to give an equal focus to
cifically created to combat the ef-
discipline and passion and conbusiness and health. Friends will
say, that there is no mistaking that Spanek is focused on a global sk-
incare revolution but she never compromises her health and exercise routine in that pursuit. Denise
is driven which is evident by her years as a marathon runner and the
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The kit is functional and effective and available in a travel bag packaged for carry-on convenience. E
Air Repair® Skincare is available at www.airrepairskincare.com and specialty retailers.
finding peace heart & soul
A
merican Idol will begin its 9th season in January with a whole new cast of talent, each hoping to be the next superstar. What does it take to get there, and how do you stay balanced when you do? Equanimity caught up with Jodi Sparks. She’s the mom, and the inspiration behind Idol’s 6th season winner, Jordin Sparks. Jordin has recently been the opening act on Brittany Spears’ Circus tour, her recent album’s lead single Battleground peaked in the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100, and earlier last month, she teamed with Sheryl Crow to entertain the President and his family at the National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. This talented singer, who was born in Phoenix, is somewhat familiar with the limelight; her father was an NFL player with the New York Giants and the Dallas Cowboys. Growing up with a famous football star, and then winning Idol could have thrown Jordin into the fast lane that many stars travel, but despite the challenges of celebrity, Jordin has remained at peace and close to her family. Her mother credits family support and faith in God, as the two main things that have given Jordin a solid foundation. What keeps there family balanced, says Jodi, is taking the time to do every day, normal things. “When Jordin comes home for a few days, I send her on errands… AND make her clean her room,” notes Jodi.
We wondered what made stardom successful and balanced and Jodi was quick to reply, “It takes a lot of work: prayer, patience, and dedication,” she said. “Never burn a bridge. You never know whose path you may cross in the future!” E
Editors Note: Jordin will be kicking off 2010 with the 3rd Annual Jordin Sparks Super Bowl Experience in Miami on February 3. This is a multi-day event that will benefit Sparks’ charities. The funds that are raised will go to support the Miami Children’s Hospital, and Jordin’s new campaign called, “I’m M.A.D., are you?” M.A.D. stands for making a difference. She and her brother P.J. have made it their mission to encourage others to find something that makes them mad or that they are passionate about, and channeling that energy into a positive action.
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
21
heart & soul memory effects
Classical Music’s Effects on Memory and Learning By Ronda Lee Levine
T
here are many claims to the benefits of lis-
sic can help ailing patients to heal and can boost brain
reading. Art and history teachers alike will play classical music while students work. The popular
Effect: Tapping the Power of Music to Heal the Body,
tening to classical music while studying or
thought is that by listening to classical music, students
experience improved memory and higher exam scores. Many pregnant women will listen to classical music with the hopes that it will enhance fetal brain development. Mothers play classical music for their children with the same hope. Psychologists often recommend
patients to listen to classical music to alleviate anxiety. What is behind the magic of classical music?
The “Mozart Effect” is a term referring to the idea that
listening to Mozart’s compositions enhances your intel-
ligence. This term gained popularity after Dr. Alfred A. Tomatis made the claim that listening to classical mu-
power in 1991. Don Campbell, author of The Mozart Strengthen the Mind, and Unlock the Creative Spirit, picks up this argument and claims that mental development can be enhanced through listening to Mozart’s music. Is this claim true? In 1993, researchers published
an article in Nature Magazine, demonstrating that there was a correlation between higher IQ scores and listening to classical music. However, the effect is only tem-
porary – once the music stops then the effects of the music stops as well.
While reading, many people listen to classical music. The belief is that listening to classical music enhances memory and retention of information gathered. A study
performed by Mike Manthei and Steve N. Kelly (1999)
investigated the effects of popular music and classical music on undergraduate students while they study. The conclusion of the research was that there was no real dif-
ference in the average scores on math exams administered under the three different conditions (no music, listening to classical music, and listening to pop music.)
Criticism has not stopped the force of intelligence-en-
hancing claims of classical music programs like Baby Einstein. Nor has it stopped mothers from playing clas-
sical music to their fetus while pregnant. Research has shown that fetuses can hear noise (actually, the first sense
organ to develop and become fully functional in the womb is the ear). Moreover, studies have shown infants to be
more easily soothed once born if their mothers listened to classical music during pregnancy. Classical music also soothes mothers who are prone to stress during pregnan-
cy. It slows both the mother’s heart rate and the fetus’ heart rate. Campbell argues in his book that listening to
classical music, especially Mozart, can even help level out a person’s moods.
What does all of this mean for you? While conclusions on the effects of classical music on your ability to retain
information from reading or to learn are hard to draw, listening to classical music while studying can be a nice
way to bring the arts into your life. When you are trying to balance your life, especially if you are very busy in
your daily life, it is nice to establish a ritual that helps to calm and center you. Because research does seem to lean towards classical music being a source of relaxation and comfort, perhaps it helps us to focus more when per-
forming intellectual and creative tasks. The next time you want to curl up with a book, put on Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” or Telemann’s “Die Donner-Ode” (The Ode
to Thunder), brew some tea, and let the music assuage the stresses of your day. E
heart & soul christianity
H
ave you ever wondered what first-cen-
tury Christians were like? They struggled with understanding their place in the world. Although they were new, they lived in the same world and faced the same traditions. Early Christians’ hardest obstacle was cultivating passion for Christ while natural desires remained vulnerable. While the 20 century Christianity has ventured through many eras, it appears that we have much in common with first century Christians. The once-dominant, all-encompassing church of the Middle Ages has faded into a relic of irrelevance. Today, the church neither governs nor imposes its will upon us. Church is optional. 24
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
Many are Christians in name only, conducting as first century pagans, only concerned with lusts of the flesh. Lust for sex, money, and position has led to Christianity’s decline. Although God’s power to save has not diminished, His witnesses have faltered, and many have wandered from holiness. There remain believers whose heart for Christ keeps Christianity relevant and progressive. In a society where it’s easy to buy what you desire, it’s hard to deny your flesh. Likewise, modern society worships at the altar of the flesh. The only thing that restrains the modern Christian is the revelation of Christ in all areas of our lives. What Paul wrote the Corinthians remains an important
message today. He belabored the importance of love. Juxtaposed against the Corinthian’s sardonic interpretation of love, with its Aphrodite temple dedicated to all things lustful, the church was to represent true love. What we can learn, above everything else, is that as Christians we should love. Not the love of Corinth’s day, that walked the streets seeking to please the flesh, or the similar love of our day. Ours should be a love with refrain. Whenever we understand that as our message, life returns to balance. E
#1 cause heart & soul
Marriage - The #1 Cause of Divorce By Pastor William Bittock
any are surprised when I make this statement.
ding ceremony. You know those manufacturer warning
you saying? Have you lost your marbles?
do they say? Take your pick from children’s toys, to food
must be money, or sex, or communication or even power.
be hazardous to your health, choking hazard, and cook at
I know you are wondering, Pastor, what are
labels that are found in any purchase you make? What
Surely you are wrong. The number one cause of divorce
products, to clothing. They all have warning labels: May
Or maybe you are saying its adultery or we just plainly
right temperatures to avoid food poisoning or contamina-
fell out of love.
tion.
Well let me say it again, the number one cause of divorce
Every product has a manufacturer warning and a manufac-
ment by simply explaining that if you never got married,
ing to manufacturer specifications, endless joy abounds.
itself is the problem. I know you are saying, here we go
is used correctly you get the utmost satisfaction from the
in our society today is marriage. Let me qualify this state-
turer manual for proper use. If used correctly and accord-
your probability of getting a divorce is ZERO. Marriage
In other words when the product purchased or received
again, now marriage is a problem. Yes it is! In fact, there
product working as intended.
is a label that should be attached to every couple’s wed-
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G .COM
25
heart & soul #1 cause Marriage is no exception, if gotten into incorrectly and
and your spouse do together. Whether it is serving in
er, according to 1 Corinthians 7:28 (New International
both play together. Other ideas would be camping and
sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But
feed the homeless twice a month under the downtown
and I want to spare you this. (NIV, Emphasis added)
tentment, and less complaining in this family.
ago when my lovely wife and I said we do to each oth-
d) Noise and lack of communication: There is too much
if maintained unworthily or if abused. The manufactur-
ministry together or finding a sport like tennis that you
Version) says that, But if you do marry, you have not
fishing, and dance lessons. One couple I know goes to
those who marry will face many troubles in this life,
bridge. As a result, there has been more gratitude, con-
Wow! No one really made me understand this 15 years er’s professed promises of love. We, like many couples,
of this in the home. When I do visitations, I always find
I found out things about me I never knew I had, includ-
ume in most homes is so loud they can’t hear themselves
matter of fact, Gary Thomas asks the question in Sacred
peace or turmoil. We need to get back to serenity, tran-
holy more than to make us happy?” This is one of the
just having quite times in the home. We also need to
had to find out the hard way that marriage can be tough.
the TV on and the stereo playing loud music. The vol-
ing anger, lack of patience and the list could go on. As a
think. Everyone is shouting and screaming whether in
Marriage, “What if God designed marriage to make us
quility. Whatever happened to simply reading books or
best books on marriage I have ever read and I highly recommend it.
Here are several reasons that make our marriages the perfect storm of human relations:
a)
make sure we spend a minimum of 15 minutes with our spouses talking intimately with no interruptions.
We shall continue on the next publication of Equanimity with more tips to spice up our marriages. E
We are thrown into the most important relationship
of our lives next to our Salvation. Please do not get me
wrong, Cohabitation is not the answer. I am in no way
suggesting this. In fact it makes matters worse. Just like any new employment or even professional games (NBA, NFL or NHL) there is off season where you train and are trained by experts in your field. The training
for marriage is a great Christian based premarital counseling that is a minimum 3 months. This is followed up with a post marriage counseling session 6 months, 1
eft Cost Americans In 2008, Identity Th
Over $4 8 Billion.
year and finally 3 years.
b)
Help Protect Yourself.
Isolation: Most adults do not have genuine friend-
ships that they can be open and real with. We need to find other couples that we can do life together. Monthly fellowships, birthday celebrations, anniversaries, vacations, and the easiest would be your weekly worship services.
c)
Hobbies: Too many couples have individualized
hobbies. You need to find one to three things that you
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heart & soul your comedian
Oliver Tull at Full Tilt A By Laura Lilley Smith
chat with comedic artist Oliver Tull whips you through a verbal frenzy that leaves you both men-
tally and physically exhausted – pleasantly, I might
add. This Fort Worth, Texas improv master is always on. His co-host on FanBoy Radio, a talk show about pop culture and entertainment, calls him OT - not for the obvious initials but
because he’s always “On Time” in his comedic stride or in
“Over Time” bringing non-stop laughter to thousands across the country as a cast member of Four Day Weekend, a Fort Worth based traveling improvisational comedy troupe.
during the next round, they asked Oliver to remain on stage
“I always tell people its very Zen, if you try to be funny...
es accepted his improvisation so well that The USO asked
and stall for an act that wasn’t ready to perform. Audienc-
funny will allude you... the last place you wanna be is trying
him to hit 33 states in 30 days, and he never looked back.
himself because ultimately Oliver believes you can’t plan on
He’s currently in the midst of work on a short film, and
people like... like this tree... you know somebody might say,
to Fox TV. ‘’It’s about just doing things and doing them
it does what a tree is supposed to do... it grows, it has leaves,
And it is whatever runs the gamut from acting to writing
somewhere on the planet there’s someone... ‘Man I hate that
but OT puts it all in perspective, ‘’I feel extremely bal-
leaves fall off of it, Man, that tree sucks!... I hate it!’ So it
have that balance, to be able to do things in a way that is
You do it for yourself, this way, at least I’m happy. You don’t
lion unwritten rules, and the only way to know if you are
to be funny,” quips Oliver. He also attempts to first please
another person’s reception of the joke. [There are] things that
there’s a pilot in the works that Four Day Weekend has sold
‘Wow, that’s a great tree!’... ‘I love that tree, it’s a great tree,
in a way that makes me happy’’, he says “whatever it is.’’
and it shades you... you can’t complain about that tree...’ Yet
and, of course, comedy - sometimes it seems frenzy-ish...
tree... that’s a stupid tree, look at it - that bark, it’s all rough,
anced. I feel like... the only way to succeed in life... is to
doesn’t matter what you do, somebody’s not going to like it.
at peace with the universe. The universe has several mil-
like it - you’re the dummy – I did what I wanted to do!”
following the universe’s rule book is if things are working
This self-made comedian didn’t set out to be funny. “No, I
in accordance with the universe’s rules. It’s the same way
growing up... then joined the army and suddenly everything
feel like there’s a certain natural rhythm or flow, once you
Armed Services, a roommate asked him to sub for an ailing
more about Oliver Tull and his groove at OliverTull.com,
out... “cause if things are working out then usually you are
was very studious, very serious,” he reflects. “Loved science
with anything else in life. If I’m trying to do something, I
was a joke.” Although he was a serious cryptologist in the
settle into that groove... everything’s cool. ”You can read
buddy in an audition for a USO show. They made the cut, and
FanBoyRadio.com or FourDayWeekend.com. E
positive future heart & soul
SMALL STEPS:
WHAT
?
WILL YOUR FUTURE BE LIKE
By Rix Quinn Soon, I began to wonder: Is it possible to formulate a se-
ries of simple steps one could take to attract luck and success?
A CRITICAL CoMPoNENT
Is there one absolute predictor for success? No, yet
many experts suggest the higher your education, the
higher your chances. Her are statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau that support the advantages of higher education:
People who didn’t graduate from high school earned, on average, $19,000 a year. High school grads (or those with general equivalency diplomas) made about $27,000. Those with some college (or a community college associate degree) earned about $33,000. People with a college bachelors’ degree made about $47,000.
N
Those with graduate or professional degrees earned ot long ago, I began to interview people about the role “luck” played in their lives. Many be-
lieved that luck played some part. Others emphasized that their success occurred because of steps they had taken to attract it.
What contributed to their success? Although each ex-
about $61,000.
MuLTIPLE LINKS
While gathering this data, I studied biographies looking
for some common “success thread.” I also interviewed many successful people first hand.
pressed it in different terms, four frequent factors were
A few modestly attributed success to timing and luck.
models and peers, and (4) anticipation based upon previ-
up doing something completely different.
(1) education, (2) preparation, (3) association with role
Others said they prepared for one profession, but ended
ous experience.
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G .COM
29
heart & soul positive future Most insisted that somewhere along the way, they
learned something special from a parent, role model, teacher, co-worker, or friend.
PREPARING FoR ToMoRRoW
Planning is a fundamental part of the human personal-
ity. We plan constantly…for our education, our career, our family, or our future.
perhaps one of the following:
1. Go back to finish high school or college.
2. Volunteer at a helping agency in your town, like an orphanage, a mission for the homeless, or perhaps the Salvation Army.
3. Go to a nearby school, and offer to tutor a child.
4. Ask friends and relatives what they consider to be
As young students, we’re given homework today to be
your strong points…and areas you could improve.
time practicing today for a game tomorrow, or a game
There is no one single secret to success. So ask your-
turned in tomorrow. If we play sports, we spend lots of next week.
After high school or college, we develop a resume’ to improve our chances for a job tomorrow. Then after we get the job, we begin to prepare for the work it entails.
Unexpected events – both good AND bad -- will always
occur. Therefore, we must plan so we can gain more control over our destiny.
LuCK: THE uNCoNTRoLLABLE FACToR?
Webster defines “luck” as “the seemingly chance happenings of events that affect one.”
It defines “strategy” as “skill in management or planning.”
Does opportunity really knock? Does it knock only
once, or does it hammer your door again and again until you answer? Or, do you believe you can create a road
map for your quest, something that will keep you focused on the correct path?
A CALL To ACTIoN
“The longest journey begins with the first step.” ~ Lao-
30
tzu. So, today, do yourself a favor. Take a first step,
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
self: “What’s most important?” Then take a small step in that direction. E
Small Steps book is now available on Amazon.com
heart & soul two way street
What Is It About Relationships? By Thandekile Moyo
spend our lives searching for a special person possessing
the best qualities - but do we have those same qualities to offer that person? You should be prepared to give just
as much as you expect from someone. A helpful tactic involves making a list characterizing what you want to be in a relationship. What do you want out of yourself?
Some may agree and say yes both partners are the best
for each other, but why do so many relationships fail? Is it that we have become so selfish that we want to get the best but never give our best or like I said we give our best
and receive so little? Some women settle for a man who
is not what they are looking for, with a master plan of
changing him into a masterpiece. When the plan backfires it leaves a lot of broken hearts behind. As women, why do we expect so much from men? “Buy me flowers,” “Help with house work,” “Carry all the heavy stuff and show me you love me?”
I
t seems like relationships are still mind-boggling
to this day. Ever since the beginning of time, when
there was just Adam and Eve, they couldn’t even get
it right. Is there a special trick for great relationship suc-
cess? If there were, wouldn’t you like to know it? We
want more from relationships than we are ready to give;
sometimes we find ourselves giving more than is needed. How do you know a person is right for you and why is it we pick the wrong people?
I have come to understand through experience that it is
not as complicated as it seems. We all have these little lists of characteristics we want in a person, tucked deep in our minds. We know what we want, but relationships
are reciprocal. This is where we make the mistake. We
As for the men why do you expect so much from us? “Cook the food, clean up, watch the kids, and give up the
TV remote control?” To have a balanced relationship, each
person has to play a part. Why is it so hard to play that part? Why do we have to go against ourselves to please
the other person? Because we choose ourselves first, our happiness comes first. Is that what we have come down to? Please me first then I will please you too. If you are in love then it should not be a problem.
When you truly love a person then giving yourself is very
simple. Find yourself before you try to find somebody. A union may seem good and solid at first but the more life throws at you, the more people change. Life’s situations can make or break relationships. If you take the time before finding Mr. or Mrs. Right to know yourself, then dealing with the ups and downs of a relationship is easy. E
32
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
get organized heart & soul
Surviving&Cooking
AN INTERVIEW WITH
LUCILLE “LUCIA” CAMPILONGO
AND DAUGHTER, GINA by Ronda Lee Levine
F
or many young adults, leaving home is a confus-
ing time. There is a new dorm or apartment to set up, laundry to do, finances to manage, and
feeding oneself can be a chore. Many resort to eating fast food, but this becomes expensive (and quite unhealthy)
very fast. Enter Lucille “Lucia” Campilongo. When her daughter, Gina, set off to study in Italy for a year, Lu-
cille wanted to make sure that Gina was ready and able to tackle day-to-day tasks and cooking. She constructed a notebook filled with how-to tips and easy-to-follow recipes. Years later as a mother’s day gift, Gina and her husband typed this book and published it on iUniverse. This
book, Lucia’s Survival Guide and Cookbook, has been on
the top-ten bestseller list for iUniverse and landed Lucia and Gina on The Today Show. I had the opportunity to sit
down with the two women and talk about their tips for young people just starting out on their own and how they each achieve balance in their lives.
Lucille recommends that those starting out should stay well organized. “Be methodical when moving into your
new place; get everything set-up right from the start.” says Lucille. “By establishing a regular cleaning, shopping, and laundry routine, young people can work to ensure that nothing gets out of hand. I suggest keeping lists of the things needed and of what has to be done.”
The biggest challenge for the person moving is homesickness. Lucille notes, “For the parents, the biggest challenge is usually the ‘empty nest syndrome’ and the worry
about whether or not their children will be able to take
care of themselves properly. Young people don’t think along these lines…That’s why I created a list of staples they should have right off the bat. I advise parents to help children leaving the nest to formulate a good game plan
using the guidelines set forth in my book. It is also helpful to have a mutually agreeable game plan for communica-
Chicken Cacciatore (A complete meal in one dish)
What you need:
• 1 fryer or 6 chicken breasts • oil • salt and pepper • chopped or sliced onions • 1 clove garlic
• 2–3 carrots • 2 stalks celery • 2–3 bell peppers • mushrooms • 1 tomato, tomato sauce, or tomato paste • white wine
What you do:
Wash and dry the chicken. Put oil in a frying pan or large pot (enough oil to cover the bottom). Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper and some oregano. Heat the oil and brown the chicken. Remove chicken and put on a dish when browned. Then add chopped or sliced onion to oil and 1 clove of mashed garlic. Also, add 2–3 sliced carrots, 2 stalks of celery, 2–3 cut-up bell peppers, and sliced mushrooms. Sauté for a while (until onions get sort of limp) then add a cut-up tomato or some tomato sauce or tomato paste (not too much tomato but just enough to color).
tion as well.” This later piece of advice helps to lower the level of worry parents may experience.
Add about 1/2 cup of white wine. Simmer a few minutes, and then put chicken back in the pan. Cover and simmer for about 30–45 minutes.
For those lacking kitchen experience, pasta dishes, roast-
Excellent with boiled rice or noodles, salad, and French bread.
ed chicken, and meatloaf are among the easiest dishes to
get organized heart & soul make. Gina found that the pasta and the meatloaf in Lu-
cia’s Survival Guide and Cookbook were extremely easy,
and that there were a couple of very simple soups. She said, “The recipes in the book are also fairly inexpensive.
The veal roast is easy, but it runs a little more moneywise.”
Speaking of being frugal, Lucille and her daughter had some suggestions for those who found themselves with a tight budget. By keeping cleaning supplies basic, you can
save money: “Simple bleach will disinfect your bathroom
surfaces. You can also make your own cleaning products
using white vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice.” As far as food goes, by sticking with staples like dried legumes, rice, and pasta, you can avoid high food costs.
Stay away from expensive appliances. They aren’t neces-
sary for cooking. Lucille seeks out balance through her Minestrone Soup
creativity in the kitchen. She enjoys creating new dishes
What You Need:
keeping things in check and staying practical. She also
• 2 cups dried beans • 1 small onion • 4 carrots (sliced) • 4 stalks celery (sliced) • 1 can (8 oz.) tomato sauce, 1 cut up fresh tomato, or 2 tbs. tomato paste • ½ head of cabbage • 2 zucchini • 1 pk. frozen Swiss chard • 1 pk. frozen peas • 1 pk. string beans
What you do:
Use dried beans that have soaked in water overnight. Discard the water they were soaking in. Put enough oil in a large pot to cover the bottom. Add chopped onion and garlic and sauté until onion and garlic grow limp. Then add carrots, celery and beans, and stir for a few minutes (about 2–3 minutes). Add about 12– 14 cups water and let the mixture cook about 1 hour.
through a lot of experimentation. For her, it’s all about enjoys her family and her “grand dogs.” Gina adds that
“The book is about balance too. People tend to be about fast food, the tendency is to eat on the run, eat quick, but this book, if people follow it, can help in getting back to the creative side and slowing down.”
While Lucille has no current plans for a book (Gina is
hoping to maybe write about her year in Italy), she does
advise people to write down their own family recipes and household tips to pass down to their children and grand-
children. Lucille receives many requests for recipes that
were lost with the passing of a generation because no one wrote the recipes down and remaining family members could not recreate the special dishes. Finally, she says to everyone, “mangia bene (eat well)!” E
Then add chopped cabbage, cut up string beans, sliced zucchini, Swiss chard, peas, or whatever vegetable you want. Let simmer until the beans are cooked. It may take another hour or so. This recipe makes a very large pot (enough soup for maybe 3 different meals). What you don’t use, you can freeze, or cut the recipe in half. E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
35
heart & soul power of art
Tic Tac You Speak to my Heart
S
by lottie minick
ue Gooding, head of Public
of them about each other. Clarice
both contemplated for years on how
Texas, drove Stephen Giles and his wife, Clarice Tinsley, around
Stephen has bought her and told me
the board of the Texas Sculpture
Relations at the State Fair of
the Fair one evening during yet another storm. Riding past the Friends
of Lottie Totem Garden, Clarice said to Stephen, “I really like the tic tac
toe totem with hearts in the middle!” Stephen asked Sue to stop the cart.
He ran through the rain, pulled the
artist’s information from the tube on
top of the sign next to the totem and ran back to the cart, soaked.
Stephen contacted the artist inquir-
ing about materials, size, etc. He measured the space in their garden and decided the sculpture was the
perfect fit. The piece spoke to each
36
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
showed me dozens of hearts that she calls him “Sweet heart”.
The day after the Fair, the artist installed Tic Tac Heart Totem in Ste-
phen and Clarice’s garden. I’m the
artist. Before I left, Tic Tac Heart Totem told me she’d fallen instantly
in love with her new owners and would do her best to always protect them and put smiles on their faces.
What more can an artist ask of her sculpture?
I’m often asked, “How do you get
your work out there to sell it?” Cyn-
thia Daniel, a friend of mine who is
an artist, shares my vision. We have
to market our sculptures. While on
Association, we curated several
shows. Buoyed by our success, we volunteered to curate the outdoor sculpture show for the State Fair of
Texas for the second year coordinat-
ing sixty artists who brought over a hundred outdoor pieces. Like any
business, marketing and networking are crucial to your business, though
like my bumper sticker says, “I’d rather be welding”. E
More information about Lottie Minick’s sculptures can be found at www.lottieminick.com.
starting point balance advice
THE POWER OF
BALANCED POSITIVE M
By Kenneth Meade ore than likely as you’ve heard the phrase: positive thinking, you had one of two reactions. “That magic mumbo jumbo belongs
in fairy tales.” Or, “I believe in positive thinking, I only need to do it more.”
One of the theories behind positive thinking involves a scientific explanation to bringing what you think of into your life. The basis for this theory has been referred to as the Law of Attraction. This law quotes science as far as it can in regard to all matter being made of energy at the atomic level but pushes its limits by suggesting we can think our way into the same resonance patterns as the atoms in what we desire and thus attract them to us. Perhaps this idea is more thought out than the notion of unicorns in the fairy tales we remember from childhood, yet the explanation falls short of scientific proof and testability. Like the unicorn however, lack of proof does not remove all value to the idea of positive thinking. As a unicorn may capture a child’s imagination as well be a decorative feature in their room, positive thinking has merit outside of willing things into your life. In most studies that examine the possibility of positive thinking bringing great changes into one’s life, void of proving that, it is a common conclusion that positive attitudes and appreciating what you do have can contribute to a better quality of life. Can positive thinking be harmful? In many stories from cancer survivors, a negative stigma is clear on the topic of positive thinking. It is sited as adding weight of needing to be happy about horrible news. More so, forcing positive thoughts over natural feelings can be dangerous as it can mask actual feelings of depression, which are
THINKING
natural and expected in such situations. In a flyer created for those recently diagnosed with cancer, Caren S. Fried, Ph.D. uses these examples to explain a healthy balanced way of thinking.
Negative Thinking: I will be dead within two years regardless of what I do.
Positive Thinking: I will be alive and healthy two years from now.
Healthy Thinking: I may or may not be alive two years from now, but what I do makes a significant difference.
Caren’s website, www.cancer-thoughts.com has several resources on dealing with cancer. As well, you’ll find articles of her thoughts and experiences. Caren’s spirit left us on August 12, 2000. Of course, the other side to this debate is the power of negative thought. Do your worries and fears bring about those things you dread? A little time on this topic and we see a reason for the focus on positive thinking more than a balance of the two. If and when we do manage to overcome our doubts, we seldom care to reconsider them. Yet a negative thought or doubt is important not for it being more realistic but for the purpose of accurate analysis. Whether or not we want, something seldom affects if it is more likely to come to us beyond how it affects our own thoughts and actions. Inversely, it can be common that we want things that are out of our reach. Perhaps understanding the reason behind our desires as well as how our actions and thoughts affect our lives and the lives of those around us is more useful than finding a potential magic button that can create them. E
10 BALANCED
balance advice foundations in life
WAYS TO STAY BY LAURA LILLEY SMIT H
Forgiveness
Release your anger and forgive; studies from groups like the Stanford Forgiveness Project show a higher concentration of well-being throughout your psychological, relationship and physical health when you forgive.
De-Stress
Reach a new plateau in self-awareness and relax online. Try eMindful.com and join this 45-minute free mindfulness meditation class at 8 a.m. EST.
Hum A Melody
Resonate within by humming something as simple as Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star for five minutes a day. To learn more about how vibrational sounds can add balance to your life check out the book The Power of Silence by Don Campbell.
Be A Yes Man
No need to go as far as actor Jim Carrey in the 2008 comedy Yes Man, but take a day off from negativity and try out the word. Balance your life with “yes” experiences.
Tune In For Soul Balance
What’s on your ipod? Try something from Texas songwriter/performer Ruthie Foster. Our favorite: Hole in My Pocket from the Runaway Soul CD.
Balance Your Budget
Hard financial times need realistic avenues for success. YNAB (You Need A Budget) offers forums, blogs and a personal home budget software to help anyone create a balanced budget. Get started now at www.youneedabudget.com.
Create Order From Chaos
Would you consider your home never tidy? Is order not a household word? Maintain household balance with your new best friend www.FlyLady.net. You’ll find release, peace and freedom you never new existed.
Sea Vegetables
These guys rich in vitamins and minerals will give you a healthy dietary boost. Nori, a dark purple sea vegetable that turns green when toasted makes a great sushi roll. Just wrap rice and your favorite veggies in Nori… voila!... Balance from the sea.
Y-Dan
This ancient Chinese exercise brings you in sync with body and mind. Compared to Tai Chi’s many movements Y-Dan, which means External Elixir, has 19 gentle movements that concentrate on the outside of the body. DVDs are available online at Amazon.com.
Using Color
Bring back your balance with color. The book Living Color by Sarah Rossbach and Lin Yun explores how color can be applied for balance in all areas of your life. E
SOURCES: Better Homes And Gardens, April 2002 The Art of Forgiveness, by Becky Mollenkamp, Whfoods.com, flylady.net, eMindful.com, ydan.com, fullhealth.com
balance advice effective communication
One Great Resolution ***A New Year
I
f there is one thing that you would like to do differently starting a new year, what
would that be? Without question, effective communication matters. We sought out one expert on this topic, Stacey Hanke. Here is how she responded to our questions:
Equanimity: What does it mean to be able to communicate more effectively?
Stacey: When I say effective com-
munication, I mean the ability to communicate in a way that has impact on listeners and the ability to be able to influence others to take action. I focus on the spoken word. My company, [1st Impression Consulting], helps individuals become more aware of how people perceive them when they communicate…whether that’s face-to-face or over the phone.… I continuously see and realize as individuals we don’t know what we don’t know. We have this mystery of not really knowing what other people see and hear when we communicate. Just because we communicate a message, does not mean it was heard or understood in the way we meant it to be. We also use incorrect words that don’t meet the needs or expectations of our listeners. We create distractions for our listeners, which are communicated through our behavior. Because you are the message, you insert the visual piece for your listener.…If your communication behavior is not con-
sistent with your message, the listener will pay more attention to what they see versus what they hear. How many times have you sat in a meeting and you see someone fidgeting with their pen? Or how many times have you listened to someone facilitate a conference call and they talk about how excited they are about this new program or project, yet the tone of their voice sounds like they would rather be having a root canal.
Equanimity: That’s so true! I’ve sat
in meetings where people pretended to be listening, but they were busy texting their friends.
Stacey: That’s where suddenly your
listeners don’t hear everything you say. What happens is you won’t motivate or influence them, or you’ll be back in that meeting room a couple of days later talking about the same topic. We miss what other people say. I always ask my clients this question, “What do you observe when you watch or listen to someone who you perceive as credible, knowledgeable and confident?” A common response to this question is if someone is talking directly to them, they tap into what’s important to them. They make them feel part of the conversation. Then they hold themselves accountable for this conversation. Therefore, that person is really knowledgeable. They know what they’re talking about. Therefore, they’re willing to listen. They may just have something to say that they can learn from if they follow their lead. When I conduct my workshops, I frequently demonstrate behaviors I’ve
seen individuals do when they are communicating. For example, I worked with an executive who took a pen and continued to roll it up and down his tie. What’s interesting about his behavior is he didn’t realize he was doing this. I videotaped him and showed him the tape. That’s when he realized what he was doing. I also had one individual who would constantly fidget. I tried not to get him to fidget and asked him to keep his arms resting at his sides. Not long after, he started fidgeting with his side seams of his pants as he began to pull up his pants legs. It’s interesting how people are not aware of what they do. That’s why I say we don’t know what we don’t know. Some of these stories I share in my book “Yes You Can”.
Equanimity: Do you think that
when people fidget like that they are bored with the subject? What is it?
Stacey: No, I don’t, because I’ve
seen individuals who are passionate and excited about their message. I see executives who want to motivate their team and they’re excited. These individuals have energy. I show people how to use this energy to add impact to their message. They’re using the energy, yet they don’t even realize they’re doing it. For example, I’m sure you’ve seen individuals who talk with their hands because they gesture too often or they gesture inappropriately. A gesture is a powerful behavior because it adds impact and emphasis to your message. It’s how you use your gestures that will determine if you distract your E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
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balance advice effective communication listeners or enhance your message. Another example, I’m sure you’ve seen a presenter who’s constantly moving back and forth or taking steps forward and backward. Movement is another powerful behavior, but what’s happening is they’re not moving with purpose. I show individuals how to use this energy so they only add purpose and more impact to their message. Remember, you are the message!
Equanimity: Do you think effec-
tive communication requires selfdiscipline?
Stacey: I do! I compare chang-
ing your communication behavior to changing or improving your golf game, or changing your tennis game. At first when you start changing your communication behavior, it’s really challenging. The successful communicator says, “Even though my new skills feel really uncomfortable, I need to discipline myself to practice in every aspect of my communication if I want to improve.” It’s a lifelong process to be able to communicate effectively.
Equanimity: You know they say practice makes perfect!
Stacey: Because we’re like ath-
letes! A professional athlete is constantly competing and practicing and receiving feedback. As leaders, we need to constantly practice. Communication is part of our professional life. We also need to find someone in our life, personally or profession-
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EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
ally, who is willing to give us constructive feedback; who is willing to make us aware of our communication behavior and when our message isn’t clear. We need someone who will be able to communicate to us when we’re doing something non-verbally that distracts our message from coming across effectively. When we communicate, what we feel is different from what our listeners see. That’s why in our workshops, we videotape individuals. Usually when our listeners review their video tape they say they look different on the videotape than how they felt. In particular, they observe behaviors they didn’t realize they were doing.
Equanimity: How can our readers
achieve the desired results from what they communicate on a daily basis? Should they get feedback and practice on a daily basis?
Stacey: I think everyone is waiting
for the magic launch! Readers need to be videotaping themselves at least once a year. The power of a video camera is a huge investment into their development, because we feel so different when we communicate than what people see. Practice is the key! I don’t think you can do it alone, no matter how experienced you are, you need someone to give you constructive feedback. Ask someone you trust who will be honest with you to give you constructive feedback. Let them know specifically what you’re trying to work on. Immediately following my presentations, I write on a piece of paper that’s divided into two columns. I title the first column, “what worked”
and the second column, “what didn’t work.” I also document my personal assessment of what I think works for me and what doesn’t based on how my listeners responded to me. The key to success is writing down your goals and making a commitment to yourself.
Equanimity:
In that case, then you pretty much have to measure or gauge your communication skills as you go to see how effective you’re. I call this a system of measurement.
Stacey: You’re right! If you haven’t
really taken a close look at how you’re perceived, what are you waiting for? It may be time to make a commitment. Have you ever made a new year’s resolution that focused on your own personal development, specifically communication? No matter how difficult it is sometimes to commit to a goal and to go through that process until you achieve your goal, the results have always been greater on the other end. Note: More information on Stacey Hanke and her work on effective communication can be found at: http:// www.1stimpressionconsulting.com/
bring family together time management
FAMILY MATTERS:
PROMOTING MEALTIME RITUALS
M
By Anne Vanbeber, PHD, LD, RD
any agree that the family meal is an important
ductive members of society. When families eat together,
a regular occurrence in today’s home can be difficult. It does not have to be that way. To make family
table serves as a classroom. Children develop listening
ritual that promotes well-being, but making it
meals a reality, schedule them on the calendar. Be flex-
ible regarding the location, day, and time of the meal. You may enjoy family meals at home, in a restaurant, at the park, or at the athletic field. Aim for three or four shared meals per week at breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Regularly shared mealtime routines contribute to physical
benefits, psychological benefits, emotional benefits, and social skills development that enable individuals to be pro-
they participate in the art of conversation, and the dinner
skills and patience, are encouraged to show self-restraint and consideration for others, and they learn to share and
take turns. Regular use of good table manners contributes to improved self-esteem and a sense of security for young
people. The dinner table provides opportunities to share ideas and values, plan activities, and talk through problems. Children become better communicators through in-
creased literacy, enhanced language skills, and improved vocabulary. They are happier, more relaxed, less stressed, and better able to deal with life’s difficulties.
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time management bring family together The improved social and psychological well-being that re-
series The Galloping Gourmet, recently published a book
to better school performance for children and teenagers.
back to the table in a creative way. In this book, Graham
sults from consistent family mealtime routines translates According to Southwest Wisconsin Youth Survey, Parents make a difference, (2004), teenagers who eat four or more
dinners with their families per week score better academically and are more likely to earn As in school than those
who eat three or fewer family dinners per week. They are
Kerr’s Gathering Place, he states, “The home dining table
is our last remaining family gathering place. It’s a place for friends and family to nourish the relationships that are at the heart of homes, neighborhoods and communities”.
also happier with their present life and with their pros-
In 2001, with mounting evidence regarding the positive
alcohol, take drugs, be depressed, participate in sex at a
tion and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University
pects for the future. They are less likely to smoke, drink
young age, initiate fights, get suspended from school, and
commit suicide than those who do not participate regularly in family meal rituals.
A regular family mealtime routine should provide children the opportunity to help with menu planning and food
preparation. As reported in the Journal of the American
Dietetic Association, allowing children to plan the food for at least one meal per week will give them ownership
and increase their interest in the meal. Assisting with all
aspects of meal preparation, including setting the table
and cleaning up, allows parents and children time to talk and strengthen family ties. Children learn the importance of safe food handling. Parents can convey the family’s
values for wellness and nutrition. Research shows that a child who regularly shares meals with family members
at home will have better eating habits when away from
home. The nutritional quality of meals is better among families who eat dinner most days together compared to
families who never or rarely eat dinner together. Family meals contribute to an increased consumption of vegeta-
bles, fruits, juice, and grains and a decreased consumption of fried foods, saturated fat, trans fat, soft drinks, and
unhealthy snacks. The diets of family meals are higher
in fiber, calcium, foliate, iron, and vitamins B6, B12, C, and E.
Food and nutrition professionals have joined in the efforts
to re-design and promote the family meal to suit today’s lifestyle. Graham Kerr, chef-host of the former television
44
emphasizing recipes designed to bring family and friends
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
effects of family mealtime, the National Center on Addiccreated the now-annual Family Day – A Day to Eat Din-
ner with Your Children. This national effort, held on the fourth Monday of September, promotes family dinners,
regular family activities, and encourages parent-child communication. For more information on how your com-
munity can promote Family Day, visit the CASA website at http://casafamilyday.org/familyday/. E
Your Ideas
time fact time management
Are Priceless
D
By Carolyn J. Jones
o you know where the richest place on planet
goal is to rob the human race out of all their cherished
Las Vegas, surprisingly it is the cemetery. Are
he will never be arrested and above all, he knows that the
earth is? No it’s not Wall Street, Hollywood, or
possessions. He works freely day and night knowing that
you surprised? Well you shouldn’t be. Just think of all the
criminal justice system has no interest in bringing him to
made it off the drawing board, or maybe the cures for
essence of your being. Because of the shrewdness of this
the hopes, dreams and aspirations that never escaped the
be detected, and if he is left alone, he will steal your very
ideas that never happened, or the blue prints that never
trial. He is a thief and robber and will destroy the very
debilitating diseases that never healed a body. These are
culprit, he can disguise himself in many ways so as not to
mind of the originator.
existence. He is clever and astute and is a mastermind in
Every creative idea begins with a thought. The mind stim-
disallowing million dollar ideas and clever inventions to
in turn gives birth to ideas. Your ideas are the pathways
and without delay he nourishes your mind with worry,
installed, serviced, and enjoyed was someone’s idea. A
you to wait for the right opportune time, and deceive you
an idea.” Overtime an idea may be enhanced and take on
your ambitions in the form of criticizing those who are
Some of the greatest inventors of all time are gone but
their goals. He cunningly conceals his distrusts and dis-
than when it was first invented. A prime example is the
agenda is full and he won’t stop until all that you hope for
ined his invention being carried around in our pockets? Or
about PROCRASTINATION!
or the microwave oven or communicating with a loved
Your ideas are priceless, and procrastination in any form
vices were ideas that were generated in someone’s mind.
you dismiss as “bad ideas” could be the answers to some-
I know of a criminal that is on the loose destroying homes,
tim. You will never know the outcome of your dreams
finding ways to keep your mind stagnant of creativity by
ulates the imagination; which is the root of creativity, and
flow freely. He finds ways to usher out your mind’s peace
to your fortunes. Every product designed, manufactured,
fear and doubt. He robs you of success by encouraging
wise man once said “the one thing that outlives death is
into believing that success comes overnight. He excuses
a new form, but the original concept remains the same.
successful, and envying others who have accomplished
their ideas are still being used today in greater magnitude
guises his love in the form of the green-eyed monster. His
telephone; do you think Mr. Bell could have ever imag-
is destroyed. Who is this culprit you may ask? I’m talking
what about the improbability of living without electricity, one 3,000 miles away on a hand held computer? These de-
marriages, careers, hopes and dreams and his number one
will destroy your dreams and aspirations. The ideas that one’s prayers. Don’t let procrastination claim another vicunless you try. Go forward! E
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
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877-225-2732
setting standards future kids
THE FUTURE OF EDUCATION IN THE UNITED STATES
R
By Kenneth Meade ecently, the U.S. Depart-
schools. I strongly believe that
nounced
we should be able to put other dif-
ment of Education anformer
House
when you can find common ground,
child,” is more likely at the heart of the matter.
Speaker Newt Gingrich, civil rights
ferences aside to achieve a common
The new administration is using
Secretary Arne Duncan will tour
same release .
fall in line with President Obama’s
ministration’s initiative to reform
Closing this gap and hopefully rais-
these men alone highlights Presi-
issues among many concerning U.S.
government working across party
san cooperation to address this topic
leader Al Sharpton and Education
four cities as part of the Obama ad-
goal,” Commented Gingrich in the
public education. The selection of
ing the overall results are important
dent Obama’s commitment to our
education. Admittedly, the bi-parti-
lines on important issues.
in particular appears innovative and
“55-years after the historic Brown
promising.
money as a motivator. Schools must educational agenda to receive part
of the $4.3 million waiting to assist states and their education systems.
The biggest point of this agenda ap-
pears to be linking teacher’s evaluations to student’s test results. New York and California are two states that currently do not fall in line with
the linking of achievement data to teachers’ appraisals. Duncan made
v. Board of Education decision we
Education Secretary Arne Duncan
in our nation. I agree with President
he called a “listening and learn-
ods to close the achievement gap so
form. Some of the more successful
dren,” Sharpton is quoted in the De-
ties working together as the key to
the tour. On average in the United
working together with the YMCA
and Latino students are three years
centers created some of these high
President Obama’s direct ambition
Reportedly, half of Black and Latino
cities were not as successful and
United States is for it to have the
while seventy-eight percent of White
one of the first issues mentioned. Al-
still find that education is unequal
toured schools on his own on what
Obama that we must use new meth-
ing” tour, to discuss education re-
we do not continue to fail our chil-
schools on this tour sited communi-
partment’s press release announcing
their success. Local communities
States, by the fourth grade, Black
to create schools and community
behind White and Asian Students.
results. As he questioned why other
Students graduate from high school
what needed to change, funding was
and Asia Students graduate .
though comparatively, between the
“President Obama has shown real
results and the lower, it appears the
courage on the issue of charter
successful schools with higher test saying; “It takes a village to raise a
a speech in June sighting California as having no way of telling which of its teachers were performing well
and which were not. In this case, for money to be the driving factor behind a deeper look into state laws
and regulations behind education, we can be thankful.
for the future of education in the highest graduation statistics in the world by 2020, as well the new law requires states to bring all students to proficiency in reading and math
by 2014 and will penalizes those who do not. E
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future kids mark victor hansen
AMERICA’S RICHEST KIDS
A CONVERSATION WITH CHICKEN SOUP’S MARK VICTOR HANSEN By Ronda Lee Levine
the educational market and I spoke on financial success. At breakfast, one day we were talking about how different stories received standing ovations and audience members often asked, “Do you have it in a book?” It took three years to finish the project. RLL: What is one thing you would like readers to take away from Chicken Soup for the Soul? MVH: I hope they cause a happy tear. I look for an instantaneous lifestyle change with little bite-size stories. We test every book that we do; I really do want to make a difference.
M
RLL: Projects that are more recent had you working with Robert Allen. How did you make the move from the Chicken Soup books to books like The One Minute Millionaire and Cracking the Millionaire Code? ark Victor Hansen has done many amazing things. He co-authored the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul series, he
co-authored books on financial success including The One-Minute Millionaire and Cracking the Millionaire Code. His long list of charity projects is impressive in itself. His recent project, The Richest Kids in America involves extraordinary kids who have carved out names for themselves in creative fields. Recently, I had a chance to have a very inspirational talk with Mark Victor Hansen about his projects, his success, and his views on how to achieve balance in our own lives, all while he readied himself for a game of golf in Arizona. Ronda Lee Levine (RLL): Along with Jack Canfield, you created the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Can you tell us about how that idea came about? Mark Victor Hansen (MVH): About twenty years ago, Jack and I were professional speakers. Jack spoke about
48
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
MVH: I am a business speaker, writer, and entrepreneur. An entrepreneur takes something of low value and makes it something of high value. Bob Allen was a mentor for me. He wrote eighteen bestselling books. We started The One Minute Millionaire as a movie, but the agent said “It’s got to be a book.” We wanted to do a book that was completely original. That one is residual income, the second, Cracking the Millionaire Code deals with intellectual property. The current one, Cash in a Flash, is about how to get a chunk of change today. The goal is to get the economy going at an individual level. I went bankrupt once and couldn’t get work. It’s not okay that people today don’t know they can be creative to make money; they don’t have to go to work. If you know what to do, you’ll be able to do it. It’s a model, a teaching of models. If you have a model and you follow it, there will be success. Everyone has to have his or her own stimulus package. RLL: What’s the most important piece of financial advice you’ve learned?
MVH: I teach a formula: ten-ten-ten. As a universal law, you should give ten percent of your income to charity organizations. Because you have to save for a rainy day, you should save ten percent of your income. Everyone should have at least eight months of income saved up. Finally, invest ten percent so that your money is making money. You live on the other seventy percent. I live on these principles. You wind up being rich this way. If you make $50,000, you give $5,000, save $5,000, and invest $5,000. It’s not just a theory, you have to take action. RLL: With all your success, you travel internationally as a speaker on a number of topics. What are some of your favorite topics to speak on? MVH: How to take nothing and turn it into something. Everyone starts with nothing and we can turn it into something. It’s a decision in your consciousness. RLL: You’ve been quoted as saying, “You can easily create the life you deserve.” What do you mean by this? MVH: You have to live in the assumption of the wish fulfilled. I saw myself as a degreed person (no one in my family had gone to college). Then, I saw myself as a bestselling author. Live in the assumption of the wish fulfilled – you have to come from this place. [Jack Canfield] and I lived it before we got it, and when we achieved success, no one was surprised. Its one thing to theorize and another thing to have it happen. I’m very thankful for everything that has happened. At the very front end of your life, you’ve got to work-work. You get paid for it. Then you have got to work-play where you start doing really well, but the clearer you are living in the assumption of the wish fulfilled is play-play. Journal your wish every day. The universe can only say, “Yes.” If you are in alignment with your personal good, then it will work and the universe will line up. RLL: Your recent project, The Richest Kids in America, had you talking with some phenomenal kids, including Olivia Bennett, whom we’ve also interviewed. How was it that you came up with the idea for this book? MVH: Regarding Olivia, to say that I’m impressed is an understatement. I’ve been very blessed to win some
awards – including the Horatio Alger Award. This award means that you’ve come from rags to riches and you’ve been very charitable. It also includes a mentoring aspect. Some of the kids mentored were children of POWs. You never have more freedom than you have as a college student. The important thing is that this book isn’t about celebrities or musicians or athletes. These are regular kids. Everyone is a giver, they took their passions and they turned it into profits. I’m almost ready for a second book. The dream is that if I can get ten percent of kids making a million each, the economy comes up – the money is there. Kids are unstoppable, but they need to know the model. Some of the kids are labeled with learning disabilities. The big picture? I think everyone has a learning ability – none of us can do everything. RLL: What advice do you have for parents with exceptional children? How should parents help their children to become entrepreneurs? MVH: Just like Olivia’s parents, you have to support the kid as best you can and find someone who can support them better. She makes $20,000 a painting. Akiane, also profiled in the book makes fourteen million dollars a canvas. There is so much enormity of talent – you have to have money to have time freedom. Time freedom then gives you relationship freedom (talent loves talent), and then you get spiritual freedom, where you are with God. You can’t have time without money. The goal is for all people to have their own creative freedom. Part of that creativity has to be entrepreneurial. RLL: How can adults use the book to inspire their own entrepreneurial spirits? MVH: Art Linkletter did a video with all the kids. The point that blew me away was that everyone got up every time one of these kids talked and gave a presentation. When kids release their splendor, it’s great. Most people have constipated their splendor. RLL: You are involved with quite a few charity projects including Habitat for Humanity and March of Dimes. What was the first charity with which you became involved?
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future kids mark victor hansen MVH: When we did A 3rd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, I wanted to help Libby Dole. She came to me wanting help giving blood to have high volume practices. Doctors needed 38,000 pints of blood. Imagination creates reality, so I did a conference call with doctors. We went from a dehydrated blood supply to a rehydrated one. What it teaches you is that everybody should be part of some cause-related charity. All the kids from my book get a lifetime gift of seminars. I learn as much from the kids as they do from me. I’m glad that I’m a mentor to all these wondrous kids. RLL: Equanimity Magazine is a publication about achieving balance in our lives. Looking at your biography, it seems as though you are a very busy man. In what ways do you feel that you achieve balance in your own life? MVH: The first thing I do every day is wake up with meditation. I take my herbs and vitamins and then go exercise. In meditation, I get crystal-clear about what I’m going to accomplish with my life and then I go accomplish it. I have real downtime where I don’t take calls – when I’m gone, I’m really gone, but I am usually gone with somebody. RLL: What final advice do you have for those wishing to achieve balance and success in their own lives? MVH: Meditation, exercise, and hiatuses where there are no interruptions of computers or phones. Remember, your still time is as important as your full time. E
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EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
child prodigy future kids
Photography by Kauwuane Burton
CHILD PRODIGY OLIVIA BENNETT GROWS UP
W
By Laura Lilley Smith
hen you walk into the small art gallery lo-
ner… there is no hint of the difficulties she has faced,
by color, larger than life floral works, and
Yet one gets a sense of determination, faith, and undying
cated in Southlake, Texas you are assaulted
an overwhelmed feeling of graciousness. This little gal-
nor the triumph she has achieved during her young life. hope that largely comes from a bright mind, an incredible
lery in a bustling burg northwest of Dallas takes on its
talent, and a big heart.
owner and resident artist, Olivia Bennett.
“I think this was just a gift,” explains Olivia about her
The slender, young woman behind the counter greets
is today. The 20-year-old was diagnosed with leukemia
own personality - but its breath of life comes from its
walk-ins in a friendly, talkative and unassuming man-
talents and the circumstances that have made her who she at the age of five; underwent two years of treatment and E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
51
today, “I’m good,” she says, “thank God.” Her bout with
Today, Olivia’s work appears in a new book called Inspi-
“Painting was kinda my outlet,” she reflects; however, her
pears in Mark Victor Hansen’s book The Richest Kids in
childhood cancer started a life-long love affair with art. mother, Michele, soon realized that Olivia’s paintings were more than just the average. Cinderella’s dresses were em-
bellished, artwork was detailed, and Olivia’s renderings
were not your typical 5-year-old drawings. She enrolled
her daughter into a watercolor class and a year or so later,
even Olivia realized… “There’s something there.” That something catapulted Olivia into a star-studded world.. She appeared on the NBC TODAY SHOW, sat in Oprah
Winfrey’s guest chair, and met with the President of the United States. In 2003, Teen People magazine named Ol-
ivia “One of Twenty Teens Who Will Change The World” for her entrepreneurial and philanthropic work by the age
of 14 Olivia had opened her first gallery, her work was be-
ing compared to Georgia O’Keefe, and this child prodigy was becoming a very savvy businesswoman.
52
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
ration For… women who change the world, and she apAmerica. However, don’t look for Olivia to capitalize on
her celebrity, she’s much more interested in giving than
receiving; charity continues to remain a very big part of her life. “You know it’s like anything I can do to help give back…” she says, “Cause you know, by the grace of
God am I here, and so I need to use that, use my influence … I’ve been put in this position for a reason.” “I have a
faith, and I believe that I’m supposed to be doing some-
thing great with this… helping people with this.” Her
paintings - worth thousands - find their homes all over the world, and as their creator, she is reluctant to see them
go, but she copes, as long as she has prints… “It’s neat
to know that people love your work, it’s like the ultimate
compliment – not only do they want to look at it, but they are going to pay you for it! E
excellence future kids
Passion To Teach The Journey
O
By Home Schooling For Excellence, Trinda Mushambi
ver three months ago, I began pursuing a long-time
A parent must go on a scavenger hunt and embark on a jour-
on a full-time basis. Like many mothers, I believe
lenge each child’s individual needs. I created this series of
dream of mine: homeschooling my two children
ney similar to mine – in search of material that will chal-
my two children are the cutest, funniest, and most academi-
articles in hopes of bringing you on that journey with me.
schooling my own children, they challenge me every day to
will highlight one noteworthy material source, and provide
cally gifted children that ever existed. Now that I am home-
Each article in the “A Passion to Teach: the Journey” series
teach them.
resources that are useful for homeschooling or help your pre-
In order for the homeschooling journey to be gratifying, I
school child learn.
needed three pertinent questions answered. First, how do I
After countless early morning and late night hours scour-
have mastered what “the professionals” say they should two
I found http://www.heidisongs.com. Here I found simple,
academically challenging for them, but that still allows them
nize numbers, shapes, count, and even dance. Heidi Butkus,
teach my children? Second, what do I teach them when they
ing resources, websites, educational stores, and the library,
years from now? Third, where could I find material that is
funny songs that teach children phonics, how to spell, recog-
to have fun?
a credentialed reading specialist and keynote presenter with
Valuable material for preschoolers is rare and well hidden in
of material. Experienced teachers in all settings use her ma-
the depths of the information world.
years of classroom experience, developed this treasure-trove terial successfully. Her educational CDs, DVDs, and print-
able resources are appropriate for preschool through second E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G .COM
53
grade. Heidi developed these materials in response to a need
to teach newly raised academic standards to young children.
Heidi says she developed these materials for Kindergarten
use; she never anticipated they would appeal to toddlers and preschoolers. However, many report that very young children LOVE to sing and dance with the DVDs.
Heidi states that teachers of special needs children, such as those with various learning disabilities, autism, and Down
syndrome, report students learning through these materials. The materials also work well with children learning English as a second language. “Music is a universally appealing language,” Heidi states, “and paired with movement and on
screen visuals; it can be an incredibly powerful teaching tool.
I’ve seen children with dyslexia, ADHD, and ODD (Opposi-
tional Defiance Disorder) learn as well as any of their peers who do not have these issues to overcome. I do feel incred-
ibly blessed to have developed this resource. I know that I could never have come up with all of these ideas on my own! It is only through God’s help that I have been able to accomplish it.”
Last week a close of friend of mine asked whether it was really worth it. I am not sure if she was referring to staying
home with my children or to teaching them. Either way, the answer is YES! In just a few short months of homeschooling,
my children gained the following achievements, some due to using HeidiSongs:
My three-year-old Recognizes and understands the meaning all 220 Dolch sight words (plus an additional 55
words). Spells over 55 sight words (thanks to HeidiSongs). Understands spatial relationships Recognizes several states.
My two-year-old Recognizes over 20 sight words and
spells at least 7 Dolch sight words (thanks to HeidiSongs).
Counts and recognizes numbers up to 20. Recognizes the upper and lower case letters.
I do not have a teaching degree, but I have the passion to teach. I hope my success will inspire you to take your child’s educational destiny into your own hands. E
Further homeschooling resources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Dolch_words http://www.gfes.tpc.edu.tw/board/abc-song http:// www.kaboose.com
balance advice kenneth meade
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self expression cover story
A PRESCRIPTION THAT WORKS
W
e finally caught up with the lady so hard to
find. She comes highly recommended too.
Everyone says we must talk to her. When we ask why? They pause, stare, and say, “What is it that Equanimity does?” And we get it.
We were able to schedule Renee for an interview and pho-
to shoot. She was very excited and happy to see us. We
had a warm welcome from her and her staff. Talk about laughter! Renee laughs a lot! Hear her tell her story in this interview.
Lumbie: Who is Renee Hornbuckle? Renee: That is a loaded question! [She laughs] Renee Hornbuckle is actually a 47-year old woman, originally
from Little Rock, Arkansas (So, I’m really a country girl!). I moved to Texas about 25 years ago. Actually, I
was brought up in Little Rock, just wanted to fulfill my dreams and so I moved to Texas. It just so happened that my best friend lived in Texas. Her and her husband of-
fered an invitation and said that if I ever wanted to come to Texas I would always have a home, the door is always open. So, one day I hopped into my car and got on the
Photography by Kauwuane Burton
road, drove, and showed up at her job and said, “I’m
here!” From that moment on, I’ve never looked back. It
was tough for a moment because one month after moving to Texas my Dad passed away. That was a big challenge for me because I am a Daddy’s Girl. So, that entire situa-
tion, along with a few other life altering situations caused
Renee: Oh my goodness! [She laughs] So, you too kind of had to grow up around older people.
Lumbie: Absolutely, I can relate to that. So, what does being on the cover of Equanimity’s 1st Edition mean to you?
me to view life differently. I realized then that life is what
Renee: I’m so excited! [She laughs] I tell you, it’s an
choose to get back up again! You know, Renee really is
on the cover of the 1st edition, because the 1st of anything
you make it! If you get knocked down, it’s up to you to the person that has always been interested in living life to the fullest and that takes drive, commitment, dedica-
HONOR! It’s a great honor! Especially, I’m honored to be
is the premier and the most important. So, I’m so honored and I’m so humbled!
tion, and discipline. My life has had
Lumbie: Absolutely! You were high-
it’s been wonderful! It’s been a long
are excited to photo shoot with you
its share of ups and downs, but overall
journey, but it’s been a great journey with a lot of battles, a lot of roller
coaster, situations, you know. It’s been that way.
Lumbie: You are 47-years old and
you look so great! You must take good care of yourself.
Renee: Thank you! I’m 47-years
young. I believe that! I feel great! I be-
lieve that age is an attitude and a state of mind. I’m not ashamed of it. Really,
ly recommended by many people. We
and actually put you on our cover. We think you’re beautiful not just outside, but inside as well.
Renee: My hope and prayer is that
Equanimity does well and succeeds. Equanimity does great things.
Lumbie: Thank you! We hope to connect and reach many people. You con-
nect with many people yourself. What makes you the woman of Influence?
I believe that! I’m the baby of the 5 girls. My sisters have
Renee: You know, I believe that, us, women are influenc-
they’re a lot older than I am. But, they really are proud of
that you impact people’s lives. And you impact their lives
and my educators. My sisters were all great models for me
how we impact and influence people. Often life detects
to learn something from each and every one of them. I
to be people of influence, so that they recognize and take
woman that I am today. My mother had me when she was
of influence, we have a responsibility to represent God
portunity to grow up.
very young spirit. I believe that women are to be partners
an issue with the fact that I boast about my age because
ers in all walks of life. And that word “influence” means
me. I think that over my life my parents were role models
positively or negatively. I think that we have a choice in
as well. I think I learned something and I had the privilege
to us who we are. My plight is that I challenge women
think my association with them has molded me to be the
responsibility for those that they influence. So, as women
40. So, I’m the second generation child and I had the op-
and do the right thing. I’m kind of old school, but I have a
Lumbie: WOW! My mother had me when she was 43.
with their life mate. I believe that in corporate America we have so many opportunities presented to us, as entre-
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G.COM
57
self expression cover story
preneurs and in corporate. Everywhere we go we have the opportunity to influence people, even at the grocery store. And when we leave their presence, we have to ask ourselves this question, “Are they going to be influenced negatively or positively?”
Lumbie: Renee, that’s a great thing! You can actually change someone’s life without being aware. Because in life, who you are, can have a great impact on someone’s life.
Renee: And we don’t take enough responsibility for
that, because when we walk into a bank, grocery store, TJ Maxx, wherever, we really are the light of the world. You
have that responsibility to positively impact someone’s life and it just may be the thing they need for that day. It just may be! It may change their situation. That’s why I
challenge both men and women to be influencers in life. It’s that important! You never know when you are being
used as the agent of change in someone’s life. You must decide to be a positive influence on this earth!
Lumbie: Do you have a life changing story to share? I think people would benefit from this.
Renee: Absolutely! Absolutely! We can’t cover it all. There have been a lot of ups and downs. [She laughs
sarcastically] But, I will say this: I think I went through my most catastrophic life experience 5 years ago. The
best way to capture it is: Have you ever been some place where it’s been up one day and things are going great?
And literally the next thing it’s like the whole world is
collapsing on you? That’s what my experience was. And
through that experience, which was a very public experi-
ence by the way, I had a choice as to how I would respond. I could have quit, I could have given up, but because of whom God created me to be, I knew I had the responsibility to stand up and to let people really see the gospel
message in action through my life. I really believe that
over these last 5 years of having to walk through this dev-
astation [it was a devastation - very devastating and very public], I made that choice to stay on that road to where
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God had sent me and because of that, my message every-
day is that people would see [HOPE] through my life. My
faith, trust, and belief in God pulled me through. I never
envisioned before that I would literally put every ounce of trust in God. That’s when I began to live. The thing of
it is, if you go through storms and trials, you learn to just
see through and see to the end. Somewhere there’s always
a little bit of light. I was able to see that. And not only that, but especially when you’re a public figure, you have a responsibility in how you carry yourself and how you
respond and represent yourself. You have to learn to hold
on to God when everybody has turned away and people are walking away from you. People just don’t believe in you the way they used to and you have this one thing to
hold on to, God. You just don’t know where you’re going to get the strength each day to go on.
Lumbie: That can be very challenging! You are a very
strong woman, Renee. Let’s talk about your prescription - The prescription that works. The first time we met face-to-
face you talked in length about the prescription that works.
Renee: The prescription that works is simple. Have a great life and get through things in life and deal with everyday issues. What is your belief and foundation? I
understand that life is not always what we want it to be
because the enemy is very cunning and always eager to trick and trip you. The enemy is always looking for op-
portunities to discredit us and to cause us to quit. But we can’t quit! Life happens! If you train yourself, then you know what to do. You can get through anything in life,
anything! If you’re in a race, you have to let everyone know you’re in a race. But when you run it, you run it
to win. In order to win, you have to be disciplined. You have to be trained. I really believe that this is part of our prescription. It’s not easy and honestly there have been times over the last 5 years when I have almost given up, but I had to re-focus and endure. I believe that people ne-
glect the one thing in life, to simply endure, because the troubles would be with you all the time. How you overE Q U A N I M I T Y M A G .COM
59
self expression cover story come and deal with the issues makes you a winner. We
tors and, of course, they made more money. I travelled
job when you’re given work, you have to do the job. You
company more money, so I made less. Sometimes we
have to be willing to work every day. For example, on the are more effective if you are properly trained to do your job effectively. So, the prescription is your belief [mine is
in God], dedicating your time to what you believe in and studying it, and then executing what’s given to you.
Lumbie: It really takes you and your determination. You have to tell yourself, “This is what I want to do to succeed
in life.” If you look at something negatively, there is no way you’re going to do it.
Renee: Right. Half of the battle begins in the mind.
don’t make connections with other cultures because we don’t understand them. This is a language barrier! So, speaking more than one language is very important.
Lumbie: You are right! I speak three languages flu-
ently. I wish I knew more languages than that because I still feel that it’s not enough. I just don’t feel the bal-
ance! Now, do you think it’s important to have a balance in life? What advice do you have for Equanimity readers about staying balanced?
Therefore, you have to learn to literally take every thought
Renee: Life balance, spiritual and natural, is very im-
multiple sclerosis. I have made it through storms in life.
vocate for Life Balance. I love teaching it. We need
and analyze it. It can be challenging. I’ve been cured of People always come to me and ask, “How do you do it?”
Well, half of the time it’s your perception – it has to do with how we view things. We have to think positively.
Lumbie: Tell me something that you’re so passionate about, the language breakthrough and why is it so important?
Renee: Remind me, what was I talking about on this?
portant. A lot of people are out of balance. I’m an ad-
it! I think application of common sense would really help. A lot of people just don’t know how to say “no”. This is very challenging for a lot of people. You’ve got to have a limit otherwise you’ll burn out. Life has lots
of stages that require you to balance. An example of that is kids, when they are young and when they are old.
They go through different stages and you have to learn to adjust your life balance to accommodate the various
[She laughs]
stages of their lives. This is a good example of learning
Lumbie: Well, you once said it’s important to be able to
up with this magazine and the name says it all – work
speak multiple languages.
Renee: Yes, I remember that subject. I’m a very strong advocate of education, empowerment, and training. I be-
lieve that for people to succeed and achieve great things in life that they desire, they have to see what is necessary for them to achieve that success. We know for a fact that,
to be adaptable and applicable in life. I’m glad you came on your mental and emotional stability, meditate and be calm to start your day!
Lumbie: Renee, what a delight! It excites me to listen to you talk about the prescription that works. You are truly a woman of influence!
in some industries, your ability to make a greater income
Renee: Thank you so much for the opportunity. I am
three languages, your income can increase greatly. And
with the world! I am flattered to be on the cover of your
things. But, I tell my co-workers that when I was in corpo-
your visions and dreams! Thank you! E
goes up if you’re bilingual. If you’re able to speak say
proud, honored, and humbled to share my prescription
a lot of times we don’t really prepare properly for those
premier magazine! Millions of lives are empowered by
rate America, the ones that could speak multiple languages were able to travel internationally and not use transla-
60
internationally and had to use a translator and it cost the
EQUANIMITY | PREMIERE EDITION 2010
50 plus celebrate you
1. How much exercise do you do?
Two to three times per week, I walk approximately 45 minutes.
2. What do you eat on a daily basis?
I am a light eater. No junk food. On a regular basis, I do a huge salad which includes apples, spinach, romaine lettuce, carrots, tomatoes and cashew nuts. My breakfast is light; usually a cup of tea and a slice of toast, juice, alternating with cereal and an occasional egg. Then, of course, sadza nenyama nemuriwo, fish, rice, pumpkin and lots of fruits, etc. No drinking pop, no processed foods.
3. How much fluid intake a day?
I drink between twenty and thirty ounces of water per day.
4. How much sleep a night? I love my eight hours.
5. do you socialize with friends, family, or other social networks? Together with my friends, we head for a night out or visit each other when time permits. I enjoy going to concerts.
6. What do you use on your skin or face?
My cosmetics are basic and inexpensive. I believe in using what’s good for my skin not what’s expensive. Because I have dry skin, I use rich moisturizers at night such as vitamin E ointment or Johnson’s baby oil gel with vitamin E. For daytime, I
Photography by Alberto’s Photography
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50 plus celebrate you like using Aveeno daily moisturizer with oatmeal because it has 24-hour protection. Twice per week, I use apricot scrub to remove dead skin cells. For skin firming, I use honey on my face. Shea butter is a must for the body.
7. Do you believe it’s important to stay balanced?
Definitely. It helps to stay focused. We live in a crazy world and it’s important to maintain proper equilibrium.
8. What advice can you offer our readers on staying healthy and beautiful?
Do your body justice. Do not drink alcohol or smoke. Both these vices exaggerate facial lines and sag the skin. Exercise by walking up and down the stairs if you are not the gym person. Walk to the store, walk to the park. Maintain a balanced diet.
9. Do you work for corporate America or are you self-employed?
I have been self-employed for the past ten years. I run a small independent record label called Planet Afrika Records. In addition, I do publicity work and bookings for musicians. On top of that, I distribute Afrikan art at festivals. Whew!! Is that busy or what?
10. Look at your arms! So well-toned! Do you exercise with Michelle Obama?
Been known to hang out with Michelle! Just kidding! Because my diet is lean, I am more muscle than fat.
11. How old are you?
I am blessed to be 59 years and young.
Photography by J.B. Freeman
E Q U A N I M I T Y M A G .COM
63
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Credit card not required in MA and PA. †Eligibility for local channels based on service address. °DVR Scheduler requires Internet access via computer or mobile phone and directv.com login. Remote connections may vary. In rare instances, scheduled recording(s) may not be recognized. Only available on certain receivers. Visit directv.com/dvrscheduler for details. °°Includes English-language broadcast channels with alternate Spanish audio. ^BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: Free SHOWTIME for 3 months, a value of $38.97. Free Starz and SHOWTIME for 3 months, a value of $72. LIMIT ONE PROGRAMMING OFFER PER ACCOUNT. Featured package names and prices: CHOICE $55.99/mo.; CHOICE XTRA $60.99/mo. In order to receive full $26 credit, customer must submit rebate form online and register account on directv.com prior to rebate redemption. Requires valid email address and must agree to receive emails. ÓPTIMO MÁS $44.99/mo. In order to receive full $15 credit, customer must submit rebate form online and register account on directv.com prior to rebate redemption. Requires valid email address and must agree to receive emails. Upon DIRECTV System activation, customer will receive rebate instructions (included in customer’s first DIRECTV bill, a separate mailing or, in the state of New York, from retailer) and must comply with the terms on the instructions. Rebate begins 6–8 weeks after receipt of online redemption, or 8-12 weeks for mail-in redemption. Account must be in “good standing,” as determined by DIRECTV in its sole discretion, to remain eligible. DIRECTV not responsible for late, lost, illegible, mutilated, incomplete, misdirected or postage-due mail. IF BY THE END OF THE PROMOTIONAL PRICE PERIOD(S) CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE THEN ALL SERVICES WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE AT THE THEN-PREVAILING RATES, INCLUDING THE $5/MO. LEASE FEE FOR THE 2ND AND EACH ADDITIONAL RECEIVER. In certain markets, programming/pricing may vary. Package pricing at directv.com/packages. DIRECTV System has a feature that restricts access to channels. LIMIT ONE BILL CREDIT PER DIRECTV ACCOUNT. **HD DVR INSTANT REBATE: Advanced equipment instant rebate requires activation of the CHOICE XTRA ($60.99/mo.) package or above; MÁS ULTRA or above; Jadeworld; or any qualifying international service bundle, which shall include the PREFERRED CHOICE programming package. DVR service ($6/mo.) and HD Access fee ($10/mo.) required for HD DVR lease. LIMIT ONE ADVANCED EQUIPMENT REBATE PER DIRECTV ACCOUNT. SYSTEM LEASE: Purchase 24 months for advanced receivers of any DIRECTV base programming package ($29.99/mo. or above) or qualifying international services bundle required. FAILURE TO ACTIVATE ALL OF THE DIRECTV SYSTEM EQUIPMENT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE EQUIPMENT LEASE ADDENDUM MAY RESULT IN A CHARGE OF $150 PER RECEIVER NOT ACTIVATED. IF YOU FAIL TO MAINTAIN YOUR PROGRAMMING, DIRECTV MAY CHARGE A PRORATED FEE OF $480. RECEIVERS ARE AT ALL TIMES PROPERTY OF DIRECTV AND MUST BE RETURNED UPON CANCELLATION OF SERVICE, OR ADDITIONAL FEES APPLY. VISIT directv.com OR CALL 1-800-DIRECTV FOR DETAILS. Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change at any time. Pricing residential. Taxes not included. Receipt of DIRECTV programming is subject to the DIRECTV Customer Agreement; copy provided at directv.com/legal and in your first bill. Starz and related channels and service marks are the property of Starz Entertainment Group LLC. Showtime and related marks are registered trademarks of Showtime Networks Inc., a CBS Company. ©2009 DIRECTV, Inc. DIRECTV and the Cyclone Design logo, CHOICE XTRA, FAMILY, CHOICE, ÓPTIMO MÁS and DIRECTV Más are trademarks of DIRECTV, Inc. All other trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners.