The Quibbler A House Gryffindor Publication
In this issue: Person of the Month: Page 3 What’s true about Halloween? Page 5 Make your own butterbeer! Page 6
The Quibbler
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Fall 2015 Issue
Table of Contents • • • • • • •
Magical Person of the Month.................................... 3 Muggle Struggle............................................................. 4 Halloween Mythbusters............................................... 5 Butterbeer Recipe.......................................................... 6 Azkaban............................................................................. 7 Ask NotJinx....................................................................... 8 Personals............................................................................ 9 Staff
Supreme Overlord: KOALAKOALAKOALAAA Pieces President: LolaMontez21 Grand Designer: ERA626 Galleon Getter: seekaterun Chief Painting Specialist: Humminglady Excellent Editor: C22JE News Writer: kiwias Culture Writer: NotJinxandJawz Image Credits Cover: ERA626 (photos and design) Back Cover: Humminglady Background Images Page 2: ERA626 Page 5: Danielle Scott (via creative commons) Page 8/9: ERA626
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Person of the Month
Sirius Black: Our Long Overdue Apology very much let down. Peter, like the little rat he was, went straight to his true master, You-Know-Who, and told him the Potter’s location. For the month of October we Sirius, while checking up on have decided to put forth an apology Peter, got a bad feeling the night on behalf of the entire wizarding world James and Lily died and went straight to one Sirius Black, and posthumously to their house. He saw the destrucmake him our Person of the Month. tion himself. When Hagrid refused to Sirius, we are sorry. give Harry to him, Sirius knew then We’re sorry you were put in and there that no one in the wizardAzkaban for 12 years when you were ing world would believe that Peter innocent all along. and him had switched. Sirius knew he We’re sorry Wormtail was would forever be branded as a traitor able to convince us of your guilt if he didn’t find Peter ASAP. So he set and we’re sorry he was able to out on his search. go free (twice) and help resurrect It didn’t take long to corner He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Peter down an alleyway, but Peter, We’re sorry we ever doubted for once in his life, was too quick for your loyalty to the Potters. Sirius. He shouted about Sirius’ beAnd we’re sorry you died betrayal and blew up the street. People fore your time. were killed, Peter disappeared, and Sirius Black, for those that are Sirius knew his life was over. still unaware, was never guilty of the It took 12 years to clear his name horrific crimes he was accused of. to the boy who mattered most, Harry, He was a true best friend to the late but he would never clear his name James and Lily Potter, and was loved with the wizarding world while alive. by many. He was not the secret keepSo this month we decided er when the Potter’s were tragically to honor Sirius and his great sacrikilled; Peter Pettigrew (aka Wormtail) fices made to his friends, his godwas. Sirius convinced James to use son, and himself. Wherever you are Peter, convinced himself that no one Sirius, we miss you. would suspect this change, and was
kiwias News Writer
Fall 2015 Issue
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The Quibbler Muggle Struggle Then I went down to breakfast, actually walking, not apparating, and had to make my eggs by hand. Needless to say I ended up with a baLife as a muggle is difficult. No, gel instead because cooking without I am not prejudiced; nor did I take a magic should be outlawed. Muggle Studies class. As a half-blood Then I witch from a fully magical-household, had to WALK to I can truly say I’ve never appreciated work; using the the struggle of a muggle until this past muggle underweek. ground is too For the past week I have been complicated living life as a muggle, and let me tell for it’s own you everything I’ve missed: good. At work • Accio I had to physi• Cleaning spells IMAGINE having to cally walk to • Cooking spells other cubicles clean up this mess • Apparating instead of us- the Muggle way. • Owl post Photo Credit: Humminglady ing the inter• Sleeping potions departmental Seriously, how do these mugmemos, but I guess that just gave me gles do it? I don’t ever want to go exercise I desperately need. through that again! Let me just tell At the end of the day, after walking you, appreciate your fellow humans home, all I wanted to do was accio a and take pity on those without magic firewhisky, dinner and the TV remote in their lives; it sucks! (muggles did get one thing right at Let me give you more least) and relax. However, I ended up details to stew on. On starving because I couldn’t cook anythe morning I was due to thing without magic, and I drank way start this “no magic” day, too much firewhisky. I almost failed in the first I went to bed that night gratefive minutes. Do you know ful for my magical life, and a little more how annoying it is to appreciative of the muggles around make your bed each day? us. But I will never do that again. Very much so.
Fall 2015 Issue
kiwias News Writer
The Quibbler
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Halloween MythBusters Sort of. YouKnow-Who is obviously not immortal (spoiler: he died), but he did come close with a little thing called Horcruxes. A horcrux is an object that hides your soul and you can only make one by killing others. Now, we won’t go into detail here because that’s not only dangerous but gross, so we’ll just leave it at that. You-Know-Who made EIGHT of these things and it was only by destroying each one that Harry Potter was able to destroy the man himself. You go Harry Potter! That’s it for this spooky edition of the Quibbler’s MythBusters! See you next month when we debate how American muggles and wizards came to celebrate Thanksgiving!
Fall 2015 Issue
You-Know-Who of course! In Harry Potter’s first year, it can now Hello to all you be confirmed, YouQuibbler readers Know-Who tried to and welcome to this steal the stone from month’s MythBusters Flamel, who then article! This month, decided to hide it in honor of it being in Hogwarts School October and our faof Witchcraft and vorite holiday, we have Wizardry. Potter, then decided to do a myth just as brave as he is busters Halloween today, put a stop to version! So sit back You-Know-Who and and get comfortable, saved the day! The because it’s about to details are a bit murky get scary out here! but we can exclusively The Sorcerer’s report that the late Stone: Myth? Professor Quirrel was NO! The sorcerthe one helping Youer’s stone is, well was, Know-Who! YES! Poor very real indeed! This st-stuttering Professor stone was used in proQuirrel! duction of the elixer Do Trolls Really of life (making the Turn To Stone If drinker immortal) and Exposed To Sunlight? was created by the Short answer: late and famous sorYES! cerer, Nicholas Flamel! Long answer: Flamel was around Yeeeeeeeeees! 650 years old at the Did You-Knowtime of his death. Who come close to The reason he died? immortality? Well, Harry Potter and
kiwias News Writer
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Butterbeer Fall 2015 Issue
NotJinxandJawz Culture Writer Hello my witches and wizards! Welcome to your favorite recipe article! Today we will be reviewing the one drink most young witches and wizards favor: Butterbeer! Here’s what you’ll need: • • • • • • • •
1 cup light or dark brown sugar 2 tablespoons water 6 tablespoon butter 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cider vinegar 3/4 cup heavy cream, divided 1/2 teaspoon rum extract Four 12-ounce bottles cream soda
Once you have these items, follow these steps to the perfect type of Butterbeer! In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the brown sugar and water. Bring to a gentle boil and cook, stirring with your wand often, until the mixture reads 240 F on a candy thermometer. Stir in the butter, salt, vinegar and 1/4 cup heavy cream. Set aside to cool to room temperature. Once the mixture has cooled, stir in the rum extract. In a medium bowl, combine 2 tablespoons of the brown sugar mixture and the remaining 1/2 cup of heavy cream. Use your wand to beat until just thickened, but not completely whipped, for about 2 to 3 minutes. To serve, divide the brown sugar mixture between 4 tall glasses (about 1/4 cup for each glass). Add 1/4 cup of cream soda to each glass, then stir to combine. Fill each glass nearly to the top with additional cream soda, then spoon the whipped topping over each. Now you have made Butterbeer, a widely recognized drink of goodness. Add whipped cream and a side of your young witch or wizard’s favorite candy, and you’ve got a true treat!
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Azkaban:
Where it is now and what we should do Another way to prevent Azkaban from falling is to raise money for Azkaban. Donate your extra Knuts. Have a Butterbeer stand and donate the profit. Take one Galleon from your paycheck. Anything to prevent Azkaban from breaking under the pressure of the evil minds inside it. And if that doesn’t work, just spread the word. Tell your friends about the downfall of Azkaban. Paste this article on a bunch of doors. Heck, just put this article on your fridge. Just inform others of this tragic terror. Please, I’m begging you all, help Azkaban get to where it was. If we don’t, then you better start preparing for Wizarding War Three.
Fall 2015 Issue
War. Many Aurors died in that battle, leaving many worried to pick the occupaAzkaban has tion as Auror. Dolores been recently fallUmbridge, otherwise ing apart. After Sirius known as life-time Black broke out in Azkaban prisoner, 1993, the prison went could escape next. We downhill. While Sirius don’t know how bad Black was proven not Azkaban has fallen. We guilty, he did escape certainly don’t want Azkaban, leaving us the evils of the prison to wonder: how did to lurk back into our he do it? A few years world. How should later, most of He-Whowe prevent this from Must-Not-Be-Named’s happening? followers escaped the One way is to prison, frightening increase the amount all of the wizarding of Aurors in our comworld. And that’s not munity. There are even considering the so many bright wizDementors’ revolt. ards and witches How has Azkaban out in the wizarding gone so low? world that can be Azkaban is tryso much more than ing to get back up to Gringotts Employees, it’s rightful place in or fast food cashiers. the wizarding world. Encourage your child Functioning on mostly to be an Auror for the Aurors, there staff has greater good of our gone low, due to the community. Second Wizarding
NotJinxandJawz Culture Writer
The Quibbler
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Ask NotJinx Fall 2015 Issue
NotJinxandJawz Culture Writer Oh, hello my advice-needing fans, it is I, NotJinxandJawz, here with another batch of wisdom. Let’s get started!
Dear NotJinx, 10/27/15 My boyfriend keeps borrowing my broom and doesn’t feel the need to return it, even though I’d like to use it too. How can I get him to stop borrowing it so much without being mean? Sincerely, Broomless Well, Broomless, you have to take charge. I know you love your boyfriend and don’t want to be rude, but he is taking your property. First, next time you’re over at his
house, ask him if you can take your broom back. If he asks for a while longer with it, tell him you need it soon. Tell him you’ll be there to pick it up tomorrow. If he doesn’t give it back by the next day, get angry at him. That should do it. That way, you had tried asking kindly, so now you tried angrier. I hope you get your broom back soon!
Dear NotJinx, I just started a new job and I am having a really hard time keeping up with all the work! My co-workers are nice, but they have their own job duties and are often out in the field performing countercharms, cleaning up messes, and trying to keep the crazies from messing with the muggles. How can I keep up with everything I need to do, while also maintaining my sanity? From, Insanely Overworked
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an extra hour and organize your space. This will make you feel less stressed and less messy. Finish some of your work at home. Tie in something you’re doing at work with something you like to do. This will make you feel more relaxed and upbeat about your job. I hope your new job becomes as easy as Expelliarmus for you!
Personals FOR SALE: Antique Cleansweep 4 in good condition. Handed down to 3rd generation. Kept in glass case for the past decade. 55 galleons OBO. PERSONAL: Honey-eyed wizard seeking his queen bee. Must be into trading Chocolate Frog cards and be good at wizard’s chess. Hufflepuff is preferred, but will consider a Ravenclaw. Meet at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop 3pm next Saturday. I’ll be wearing the yellow scarf. WANTED: Handy wizard needed to assist with the renovation of Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor. Must be good at cleaning spells. Contact Paul at 42 North 7th, Apt 5 by owl mail. FREE: 2 year old frog named Trevor the Third in need of new home. Young witch say’s it’s ‘not cool’ to have anymore (ugh kids) so must go to a home with teenagers who appreciate their mother getting them a pet. send post to Martha in Avondale.
Fall 2015 Issue
Insanely Overworked, working can be hard. Very hard. But that’s what makes it work, right? Try talking more with your coworkers. Get to know them outside of work. That way, even if you’re not chatting with them, you know plenty of the people around you. This will make you feel more comfortable. Once or twice a week, stay at the office
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