2 minute read
First rule of fight club - don’t talk about fight club
By Irene Grindell
First rule of Conflict Resolution is the exact opposite. Dialogue is the way forward. Conflict Coaching encourages people to get out of their own way and find solutions that get their needs met, by using tried and tested techniques.
Sounds simple? After 19 years experience of dealing with conflicting parties in a thousand and one situations, some more complex than others and some just downright messy, I learnt a few things. I have created a process that is simple but powerful helping people to take responsibility for their issues and monitor their moods through new found understanding and self awareness. This leads to folk gaining control of their thoughts and feelings rather than being controlled by them. As we become more emotionally intelligent and literate, we can start to recognise that our changed behaviour impacts on others and by noticing the difference we continue to develop our EQ and often start to support others to manage their thoughts and feelings which ultimately leads to better relationships all round.
I love watching people letting go of their stress, finding a much more relaxed state and feeling more in control. Teaching people about resiliency and the ability to keep damaging emotions and beliefs under control is the strength of coaching.
The big six blocks
• Resistance/reluctance or “Buy in” • Fear • Lack of self determination • Saturation of the problem, feeling overwhelmed by the conflict with no energy, drive or motivation • Belief that the other is doing it on purpose, so taking things personal • Unwilling or unresponsive to engage in any solution The answer – empathy, rapport, understanding and compassion. Listening with a view to connecting, sharing exercises with an open mind and the ability to reframe tragic expressions of unmet needs into goals.
I have been privileged to watch profound transformation time and again where a crying, bewildered, angry, resentful or bitter person suddenly gets that lightbulb moment and everything changes in a heartbeat.
To contact Irene please email: Irene@igresolutions.com
Free Conflict Management Diagnostic
TCM is offering a free onsite conflict management diagnostic to organisations, big and small, to help them to evaluate the causes, the costs and the consequences of conflict. We will then align quantitative data with qualitative data to create your unique Conflict Profile Report™.
We will provide a verbal report and overview of what is working and what challenges you are facing to key HR, managers and unions. A written Conflict Profile Report™ is available on request for a small fee. The Conflict Profile Report™ will assist you to decide on the most appropriate conflict management strategy for your organisation.
For more details and to set up your fee conflict management diagnostic, please contact info@thetcmgroup.com or call the TCM Conflict Management hotline on 0800 294 97 87 and quote: UK Mediation Journal
TCM is also available to design and deliver more detailed audits and impact assessments into areas such as workplace bullying , sexual harassment and discrimination.
