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Eitan Kramer Pro Wheel Available Spring 95
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g reat new book, ha\s Johnson's Oi\ Ivc /'.)//, argues thai special interests are destroying American life, institution by institution. Once, he explains, we were motivated bv iho
good. Today we are more likely to be moved by selfinterest and ti) be able to rationalize greed, distrust and hypocritical behavior. Alihouuh Julinnmi tliiln'i umi-lf ilÂŤ in line world, his descriptions seem all too apt. In the last few years, a once light group of friends has degenerated into/one marked by shifting alliances, character assassination and dupliciu. Sadly, this comes at a time when we have the most to gain from a united front. When we began /3<>\o \ears ago, it was because no one, including the in-line community, would gi\ aggressive skating am recognition whatsoever. Now it's not jusi Oailv Bread, us and the growing number of fanzines, but magazines like In Line and Men's /Vmcssand TV stations like KSPN2 and MTV. Maybe this influx of outside influence and mone\s w
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skaters" criticize those who look, think or skate differ ently, all the while neglecting to disclose their own financial relationships wuli with tne the same corporations ihe\l ly trash. And regardless of how self ser\, e\er\one believes their behavior is justified because it is for ihe "good of ihe sport." After a while that can be a real drag, both because it's less fun and a wasted opportunity. As we squabble w i t h each other, shut out emerging skaters because lhe\t meet our acs ihelic or cultural standards and, most of all, drag our fights into the mainstream skating arena, we validate the perception ih.n we're sniveling, self important, difficult loudmouths. It could simpK be jusi another case of mone\g e \ e r \e sponsorshi
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Cover Photo: Rook to knight five. Japan t o g a p by M i k e O p a l e k . S h o n T o m l i n catching frames. Shutter: C. Mitchell. write or call us at:1223 Wilshire Blvd. #893 Santa Monica, Ca.90403 ph.(310)451-8061 Box magazine is published quarterly by Critical Mass inc. Many of the activities covered in BoX magazine carry significant risk of personal injury or death. BoX magazine, including its owners, writers, photographers and other staff and management does not recommend that anyone participate in these sports unless they are experts, seek qualified professional instruction, or guidance, are knowledgeable about the risks and are willing to personally assume all responsibility associated with those risks.
Opinions expressed in advertisements do not necessarily reflect those of BoX.
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Dear BOX i urn Myles Arsenault and 1 want to thank you for sending me that stuff, i have been Rollerbladin<f for four years and i t h i n k i am really <jood. i can <jrind, j u m p stairs and jump over trash cans, i can do 3605 off steps and 180 over stairs, i was wondering if I'm <jood enough to <jet sponsored. HOW would i ijet there? what do i have to do? can you send me more stickers, if it isn't any trouble. Thanks. Myles Arsenault i.os Mnjeles, CA (check out nciit issue far t i p s on sponsorship.) stickers are only available with the order blank somewhere in the ma<j.
Nice BOX, [ t h i n k your ma<j is birchen. Did you think of becoming a monthly? Anyway, I'm writing from a small town called paso Robles. My friends and i are all into the hard-core skate scene. Between school and our jobs, we normally skate pretty late at ni>jht. That's cool because you don't Âťjet harassed as much, from what I've seen, there isn't anyone around here with equal skate skills, if you're out here, meet us at paso m<jh and show off your shit. Thanx from joe Kneble, steck and friends, paso nobles, CA ps. Hey fat eoy from RCRun sports - vuho the hell do you t h i n k you are? u A i n ' t j u m p i n no cars!!! BOK,
I am an a^^ressive skater from Brooklyn, i love to skate, i read BOK a lot. in Brooklyn there are some t^ood places to skate, and there are a lot of skaters, usually we <jo by the parkin? lot of a bank and wax up the stairs. Also there's a hi<jh school with tons of handrails to <jrmd on. YOU ijuys should come to Brooklyn and skate one day. over the summer i taped the Taco eell N.I.S.S. on espN. The skdtin? was amazing, chris Edwards and Arlo Eisenberg; were awesome, gotta <^o. I'm <?om*j skatinv a<?am. chris gonzalez Brooklyn, NT.
ps. i have a bet with my f r i e n d that i w o u l d n ' t <^et a response letter, so I'd appreciate if you send me one back so he'd feel s t u p i d . it's in The mail. Anything to make someone look stupid.
Dear BOK, My name is sichard Akalski. i live in Queens, NT. There's about ten of us who skate in a little park in tlmhurst. we all <jot into the scene about five months a^o. we started traveling, doin<j rails, <joimj to B'lyn Banks, etc. we skate every once in awhile with Dave Ortega and pete parilla, who sometimes visit our park. we think you have a <jreat ma<jf so keep putting it out. one thinij you could do is put more of your "Recipes" in the ma<j. Maybe cut out some advertisements or something to fit them in. Keep snSn, Richard Akalski and the riders of Team "suicide" Elmhurst, NY
ps. Maybe come down and photo us sometime. since we're cutting out ads, you'll have to send us a ticket. At least there's more recipes.
Dear BOK, The summer of 1904 will <jo down in history as the hi^h point of extreme skatin<j's short life. NISS was a hu<j;e step in the ricjht direction and a glimpse of our sport's potential. However, this potential to elevate skatin<j to the next level is slowly fading from our si<jht with the division of the NISS owners, for those of you who are unclear of what I'm talkin? about, NISS was owned by three people. TWO were more of the business type, and the other was a skater who we all know and like: Mark shays. After NISS, Mark decided to disassociate himself with NISS. The skaters are friends with Mark, so they feel obligated to join his tour, even though they know he can't produce a tour as <jood. The whole situation sucks, we as the pro skaters and leaders of our sport need to make the correct choice for our sport's future, we need NISS, which is a stable tour that (will) aid the growth of extreme skatin<7.
still, i realize that the current situation re<jardin<j the two tours is confusing, even to some of those who are most immediately involved. Because nothing less than the future of our sport is at stake, i thought an explanation was in order. TWO tours will take place: the NISS tour and Mark shay's pro tour. Each has separate sponsors, schedules and television networks. Each involves skaters from around the world. The NISS tour is open to amateurs, and is a national competition. The pro tour includes a series of open qualifications around the world in May, and ten competitions in the us. and Europe. confused? we were, so in December, many top skaters, including as veterans of last year's NISS tour, listened to presentations by Mark Billic from NISS and Mark shays from the pro tour. After careful deliberation, 35 of these skaters pledged their participation in the pro tour. This was not done because they are friends with h i m , but because they realized somet h i n g you (the invertebrate) seemed to miss: Although people talk about last year's tour as bein<j the birth of our sport, it will never truly be our sport until it is in our hands. The pro tour takes us one step closer to that reality. Brooke "i can't remain anonymous because no one owns me" Howard-smith Venice, CA
on that note, here's another anonymous letter, also from a hicrh-profile LOS Angeles skater: nearest BOX,
i just want to thank you for your articles about charisma, without a magazine like yours upholding laudable |n:o[i|i:, I u M i u M n ' l h n o i u U ; | K I to u l o l i / i : . I am ijlad your publication and the female staff memThis letter was unsigned because the author "must ber who conducted the interview are so supportive of remain anonymous because I skate under contract such low forms of life, first of all, i would like to know with aollerblade." This is one of several anonymous what place this interview has in a once-respected letters we yot complaining about a situation, while magazine, it is obvious by the dearth of content that the complaints have a rifht to be aired, the secretive the only reason that words were even printed is that nature in which they are presented underscore the no other excuse could be found to publish what your lack of trust, honesty and respect among- the pro editors obviously thought was an interesting picture. skaters. This letter, for instance, raises an issue that (Digression *;: rhe interview was completed before deserves To be discussed, with intelligence and openthe photo was taken. Besides, if you've followed this ness, unless we all can create an atmosphere where "once respected" magazine, you miyht already anyone can say what they feel without worrying know that we don't need an encuse to publish what about reprisals, we're a far cry from radical in any we think are interesting photos. But back to busisense of the word. ness. . .) i have so many objections to this article that to list when Brooke Howard-smith heard about the letter, them would prove an exercise in futility and would he asked if he could respond to it. His reply follows: entail milling half the world's forests to make the paper for my synopsis. However, i would like to meni find little or no pleasure replying to an tion a few. anonymous letter, if you feel strongly enough to put The fallacies be<jin in the introduction where pen to paper, you should at least be strong enough charisma is hailed as the skaters' "stripper of to validate your opinion with your name, in my choice." Having been involved in the skate scene, i (Brooke Howard-smith) opinion, BOX should discour- know that the skaters have not hired any other stripage this rising tide of invertebrate literature by no pers and thus any one that happens to fulfill this longer printing anonymous letters. role at one of their parties could also <jain this title.
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CALL BOX cont. [sut since the skaters had expressly asked for charisma, no other stripper was hired. By your own reasoning, then, charisma, "low life" that she may be, clearly is the skater's stripper of choice. But we digress.. Jnot to mention the fact that 90 percent of them thought her show was hilarious, only inviting her back to <jet their second round of laughs, [sight.] in general, the article is very cliched [unlike "exercise in futility" and the comment about milling half the world's forests], saying such typical things as "she's just like you and me, and you'd never know she was a stripper if you saw her on the street, "/rou Ye right — we tend to make that particular observation frequently.] it also hopes to convince the rational, thinking females who read your magazine that what she does isn't de<jradin<j or dis<justin<j, but a perfectly respectful line of work (which I'm sure was only accomplished with those members of my gender possessing a self-esteem as low as charisma's). [Huh?] AS an intelligent female, i find this kind of bantering insulting and dangerous to those of us who are trying to maintain dignity and respect of the men who are taught from birth to treat us as senual objects, charisma's responses justify every negative thin<j women think about other women who are in her line of work, just look at some of the things she says: "it's my seHual alter-e<jo to be wanted by men." "i am a stripper because i am insecure and was taught i was worth nothing." "I'd 150 crazy if i had to do this for four or five more years." "if my child ijrew up to be a stripper, I'd understand. But rd teach her to be worthy of more, "i like q;ettin<j all the attention, i have to have the attention, i crave it." "i am turning women into sen objects." By all these statements, it is obvious that beimj a stripper is not a respectful, dignified profession, she said she was taught she was worth nothing, and that is her primary motivation for stripping, and that she craves male attention. AS if women do not have enough problems <jertin<j men (especially other skaters) to take them and their abilities seriously without belittling them and thinking them innately inferior, you have to publish an article upholding a woman who obviously has no self-respect. Not to mention that she has nothing to do with skating. [rhat again.] The idea that both charisma and the interviewer seem to be pushing is that it is a male problem to see women as objects and that she is perfectly okay doin<j what she does, obviously the way she earns her money is up to her, but she will not receive any respect from the majority of the female population until she realizes that she is only perpetuating male dominance and objectification. if the men of the world will not change their minds, it is up to the women to not allow them the base, perverse, ignominious thrills of usin<j us as objects, obviously none of the men charisma does shows for respect her for her mind or her accomplishments in life, she is just a body to them, a servile bein<j that none would speak to if she were not naked or performing, [except that she was wearing clothes and talking, nothing more and nothing less, during the interview and photo session.] in conclusion, i would like to say that i once though of your magazine as one of the few skate publications with content. NOW i realize i was sadly mistaken, as this article has plunged it far below the ranks of the others. TO print an article about a stripper, admiring her and praising what she does is not okay. A publication with your position in the industry and with your readership should be concerning itself not with flagrant, self-indulgent finders to parents and authority figures, but with leading skaters
[most of whom were there at the party, watching her] in edifying,
worthwhile directions, i will not patronize a magazine that holds up someone who willingly betrays her own gender and panders to the vile, contemptible ur<jes of the male <jroin for money, i question your judgment and your character, oh ye of ill repute. Be sure that i will take it upon myself to prevent others from defiling their minds with such derogatory material. Thank you for your time. A concerned female skater. EHCuse me but somewhere in the affluent, reasonably privileged upbringing you have obviously enjoyed, someone must have forgotten to teach you compassion, no one expects you to approve of charisma — but we do expect you to have a heart. Denied the benefits of an education and a functional home life, charisma is doing the best she can to get through the day. The interview did not attempt to glamorize, but to humanize her struggle, while the adult content of the conversation raises legitimate issues in terms of our responsibility to a young readership, we remain proud of our decision to run the article, and congratulate sepeideh on her continually provocative and professional approach. More importantly, i (Neil) find it indefensible that you treat charisma with contempt but absolve all the skaters, who for whatever reason hired her, for their role in the affair it seems to me their minds have been defiled (by your standards) well before our little strip-tease. finally, if you sign your name, we'll be happy to refund your three bucks. Hell, we'll even send you a copy ofcamille paglia's latest essays. Her conversations on pornography, prostitution and feminism could prove enlightening. But enough on this. NOW it's time to pander to some vile, contemptible urges, see ya'.
joyridejackie Let me first start by sayin? i love your magazine, i was introduced to BOH forum at the tender a<je of nine and have been an avid reader ever since. Thin<?s are different now — I've matured, created a healthy sen life and even <?et a hold of a partner on occasion, rd like to share one of these occasions with you. it was the first day of class. I was in auto shop joking around with the fellas about the previous summer, we talked about bladin<j on the boardwalk, roller hockey and, of course, lifting weights. Then she walked in. . .jackie. i had never seen anyone fill a Harley-oavidson T-shirt so well. AS the cool morning air pressed up against her torso, I could see Jackie's turkey was definitely done. Ti<jht, faded wranglers complimented her never-ending curves, and jet black cowboy boots completed her outfit, straight out of E-Z Rider magazine. Her brown hair draped shoulder length, and her tiijht curls matted down with two pounds of oep were just enough to <jet my headers revin'. The weeks passed and jackie and i became close friends, i would catch her <jazin<j at me behind her welding mask now and then, and i would cast a loving glance behind my protective lenses whenever possible. i thought that peek-a-boo would be the extent of our relationship. Then we were teamed up to restore a '68 camaro. My favorite. it was the week before our deadline, our car was completely beefed: flames on the hood, cra<jar deep dishes, tweaked 350, the whole nine yards. Then we ran into a problem, and had to stay after class to fin it.
The shop was empty, jackie stuck her head under the hood to take a closer look, i took a place at the work bench and, staring at her rear end, was entranced. Anticipation tore at my emotions as the gasoline fumes toyed with my consciousness. I <jot closer to her and, since she didn't seem to mind, stiffened. she grasped the air filter with both hands, and molded our bodies together. AS we rocked back and forth, her knees banned against the fender. The now dented sheet metal made an echo which only served to speed our pace. suddenly she turned to face me. i licked my dry lips, only to beijin a fondling frenzy, we made our way to the backseat of the camaro, where she bucked like a first-time driver on a manual transmission. Before lon<j [out of deference to concerned /emale skater, we've skipped over the details], i sent my emissions into the atmosphere, i collapsed atop her back and lay motionless. •rriple-A would have been nice, but instead we walked to her place. Then i went home, jackie and i never did finish the car and ended up <jettin<j a c- in the class. But let me tell you, that little joyride with Jackie was worth it. Horsepower Hank Candida, NH res, but what does that have to do with skating?
Hey BOK, i just bought my first issue and it was rad. My dad was in the Army so i bought my first skates in qermany. over there we were deprived of any sort of news on skating and so when i came back to the states, i saw an in-line skate ma<? in the store and was amazed. YOU <?uys <?ive a <^ood, in-depth look at the overlooked world of eKtreme skating so rock on. And if you ever <jet to come and skate san Antonio, wake the place up because as far as in-line skating <joes, this place is dead. David Miles san Antonio, TX one more thimj. Tell pat parnell I said "HEY!" pat, oavid says "HET!"
Hallo BOK,
He all twiekt over <juys. I'm a Dutch a<j<jressive hardcore skater. The scene in Holland is ijettimj better with the minute. Nice <jrindin<j here with very hot chicks. The only problem is that it rains to much. Keep <jrindin<j. Loose some skin and loose some extra meat. Lucky. Boschen oain, The Netherlands
Adventure The by Neal Lyons
when chris called me that niq;ht, i knew we were in for a rad session, still, we had no idea what the ni<jht had in store. i sped down the hill towards chris'. i found him and the other ^uys in a nearby park. Everyone was there
• ••• '37***
clothes for life. ©Quiksilver Inc., 1994
CALL EOX cont. for a fi<jht, which had been brewing for a couple of nights, ever since chris' brother ocwe g_ot decked for making fun of this g.uy's girlfriend, chris is a lar<je <juy with on outspoken nature that can be intimidating so nothing happened and the other g/oup left with their tails between their le<js. so we trotted back to chris's to organize the night's events. There were seven of us, three skaters and four bladers, ready to hit the streets, we knew we all couldn't fit in the pony that chris and his girlfriend el share, so chris ijot his parents' car and we'd go in two separate vehicles. our destination was the pizza H u t , w h i c h is about five minutes away. There's a c u r b there that starts flat, then bubbles up, making a kind of h u m p shape in the middle. The hump's most obvious purpose is to protect the fire hydrant, but it really is just there for our pleasure, chris, who had been tiiei'e t i n : h i ' ^ h t before, went right to work and grinded the whole thm<ÂŁ with ease, we pulled out chris's video camera and got a few shots of him doing this, i then did a little filming of jay Hayes, our resident skateboarder, we call him qeorgiajay because that's where he used to live and since we know so many jays, that's our way of identifying him. [we have the same problem with chris's but your system wouldn't work because there would be 10 California chris's and 10 Minnesota chris's. Now, bach to Canada.] Traffic was a problem, so we stocked up on a coke and headed To the perfect rail in the back of the pizza Hut. chris pulled a few flawless grinds and then busted a soul g/ind that would have made Arlo drool, on that note, we headed to the mall where, since it was nearly ten, we thought we could skate, we rolled into the mall's basically empty parking lot and started skating.
Nothing big,, because we were burned out. But then chris decided to do this totally sick j u m p from the patch from one lot to the other â&#x20AC;&#x201D; about 15 feet of vert with around 15 feet of distance, since it was dark and footage was essential, we rolled chris's pony To the bottom so we could shine the hiijhs on the jump. That was when the trouble started. A mall security fuard came over and told us we couldn't skaTe there, chris, who had been Bearing, up for ten minutes, was not <joing, to bail. IK: Told The <juy, "just one more jump." The <juard was ready to ag/ee until he saw the jump and changed his mind, chris still said he was g,omg, to do it, even after the <juy, who was in his twenties, told chris he would be banned from the mall if he did it. chris, who just the day before had told a c h u r c h minister he would <jo to hell after we were banned from skating at a church, kept going. The guard was c a l l i n g for assistance and I had the camera rolling as chris approached the jump. AS chris was about to go, the guard stepping in front, and chris, who had no time to stop, bowled into h i m . T h e guard was now calling for the police, screaming that he had been assaulted, chris, still calm, began arguing with the ijiKxrd who grabbed him by the arm and escorted him away, chris then panicked, shoved the guard and bolted. AS the <fuard stayed on his tail, i was still filming. But they left my range since I was at the bottom of the j u m p , i ran up and called for Adam to take the camera and shoot The rest. Adam, one of the other bladers, told me to <jet in the car and <jo. only Dave and i were at the bottom so we ran for the pony, picked up chris and got OUT of There fast, i drove around the corner of the upper parking;
lot and saw the guard's backup had caught jody. one of the skaters, we just kept driving, we <jot back to chris's, <jot our stories straight and chris told his mom, just in case The cops arrived, sure enough they did just a few minutes later. After explaining, the story, they told us to g,o back to The mall and settle things, we were met there by two guards, their supervisor and one police officer. The first <juard explained the possibility of assault. Because chris had an attitude, the other <juard told him to press charges. I couldn't ar<jue. we had our photos taken, and were g;iven trespassing slips. Adam seemed to be the only one upset at the idea of not being, allowed to <jo to the mall, when it came time for chris' picture, the other <juard, who definitely disliked chris, said, "I'll handle this." He and chris strolled back to his office, when they were about halfway there, they turned around and chris Saul he was being threatened, so instead they just went into The mall. They were in there for a long time. M e a n w h i l e , the cop <jot interested in our skating and asked us questions about bidding, demos and stuff. Then the weirdest thing, happened, chris and the guard emerged, acting like best friends. The g,uard walked over to the cop and said that everyone was settled, on the way home, chris explained that he told the g,uard he knew he was an asshole and then the <juard explained that he used to bike on a half. Despite all of Their differences, they had managed to find one similanTy that patched everything up. we ijot back around midnight, chris, Mel and jay decided they'd <jo out to skate, i had had enough, though, and decided to go home and sleep. -Toronto, Canada
12SO BISON SUITE BS-513 NEWPORT BEACH, CA. C714)8SO-7236
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en their ngeles. , g record company u of other interviewers. the other band members to ve me Vivian. As e o t e r journaists, .riqtice a our cameras are much p than tne .other so-called press. TomL. the photographer, oints out that we also have more film -- $25u more, to be J«rf«
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As I was bei 'escort room, I could feel the sweat run Even though my trusted friends at 5FM, the local campus radio station gave me some good questions to ask, the pressure was .getting to me.
|JMiy that^ L.IIC1L. Irinally get seated and turn the tape recorder on, hoping
Vivian doesn t notice how nervous I am. "'Are YOU. SUPfi, that'l ;'s on?'; shei,asks. Once I did a phone interview and at the end, He said; snit, can we we do that again? I told him no way." I check the machine. It's rolling. Time, at last, for question "People have described your sound as NYC meets LA," I say confidently. "Is that a product of your leaving New York for the West?" "That's one I haven't heard," she laughs. "Who told you that?" No longer so confident, I backtrack. "You do live in L.A. Don't you?" "No. We're New York City through and through." If you were to play back the tape, you could probably hear my journalistic poker face hit the floor. The hoax is over. I confess (lie - the Eds.) that I usually only write about skating and my friend who usual ly writes about bands couldn't make it through the backstage security. Warming up, Vivian laughs. And the tape recorder, as if in response, clicks off. The machine is not mine. No one, of course, warned me that it had a habit of stopping whenever it felt like it. So Vivian spent the rest of the interview trying to fix it, while recounting the pros and cons of Lollapalooza and her ties to her NYC-expatriate labelmates, the Beastie Boys.
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.' Mark S h a y s , J a c o b E i s t r u p .- hardline (Tim), Senate (Mike), hyper (Morton), C h r i s ' s mom ( C h r i s ) Vegas, where streets are paved w i t h gold.
To find love w i t h i n 24 hours.
; No self-love, no love for hire and no love between contestants.
fu/>on veii/itxitionJ.- $ I 30 ( based upon a $ I 0 contribution from judges, sponsors and assorted hangers-on)
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The crew is assembled in the lobby. The four contestants, Chris Mines, Tim Blackstock, Mike Opalek and Morton Engmark, are seated expectantly in a semi-circle around Las Vegas love guru Matt Mantz. Although an initial contender, his home court advantage led him to be disqualified. Maintaining his dignity, he deigns to share a few words of wisdom with the eager faces. "You guys suck," says Matt sagaciously. "You've been here for hours and haven't even looked at a girl yet You're a disgrace to my sport." He sits down hard and refuses to talk again. Nobody speaks. The racers look at each other, trying to decide who Matt was talking about. Tired of waiting, Jacob, Morton's coach, claps his hands together. "Well, who's looking for love?" And thus, without further ado, the race begins. Tim Blackstock approaches from across the casino. He practices his dazzling smile every time he catches his reflection in a super Jacko slot machine. He knows that this is the one for him. "Excuse me," he says to the girl, resplendent in her black dress with taffeta petals rimming the skirt line. "Yes," she says, with a voice like strained beets. "Could I borrow a quarter to call my Dad?" Tim asks, smiling his jackpot smile. "I just fell in love." "I see," she says, unimpressed. "Only if you call my husband first." Strike one.
"GREAT RACE com. The Mirage. Camera 43, the devout litItle sentinel that rarely sees lany action, pans its bitter larc around the lobby, proIjecting its image on a Iblack and white console in Ithe dim security room of Ithe Mirage. From its posiItion on the ceiling between Ithe roulette tables and the Irestrooms, it casts a jaded leye over the familiar pickIpockets and telekinetics. |But tonight #43 has spotIted a rather cold scene. A [blonde Danish skater is |doing handstands in the Dbby with some random }irl from Colorado. Although they have just "met, they are immediately
Jacob pulls a ho-ho.E
familiar, holding hands and giggling. Number forty-three dutifully finishes its semicircle. When it returns to look for the hand-standing couple, it finds the two have disappeared. Is it for a bite to eat? Or is it to practice more gymnastics in her room?
The Rink The rink is set way off the main drag reminding Chris and Mike that they are in the middle of the cold, lonely desert. It's 10 P.M. when they throw open the doors, totally confident that this roadside love palace will be the ideal showcase for their talents. Spotting his future wife, a vision in acid-washed Sassoon jeans and brown suede rentals, Chris eagerly Velcros a power strap around his ankle. He tucks a tuft of bright yellow hair under his Birth cap and glides off for a rendezvous with Cupid. Surrounded by a surprising number of gents and an odiforous vibe, Mike uneasily senses that something's amiss. Wondering if they've made a heinous error but unwilling to cede the plate of love to Chris, he clips his TRS buckle and heads onto the floor. Tied to the rafter above their still warm shoes, a happy banner has been hung, welcoming all skaters to the Monday Night Gay Pride Skate-a-thon. Come one, come all. An hour and a half later, Chris and Mike emerge from the rink, packaged with mixed emotions like two bags of Jelly Bellies. The skate guard, although obviously impressed with the boy's physiques and youthful glow, was not smitten by Chris's attempted soul to frontside transfer from a bench to a foosball table. In the end, though, he takes the evening's accolades, scoring a phone number from a girl who, had they met a
week early, wouldl not have been a| girl. Unable to acceptl defeat, Mike bee-1 lines to the Sharkl Bar where hel vows to remainl until his future! wife finds him.
Outside thel Shark Bar.
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Tim Blackstockl hands the bouncer his ID and waits patiently to be admitted. "According to this, Mr. Martin Wong," says the bouncer nonchalantly, "you're six foot four." Tim, who is barely 5'7" on a good day, smiles. "That's me." "And where, pray tell, do you live?" Tim thinks for a bit. "Huntington Beach." "Nope. And when's that birthday?" He's quick on that. "March 19." "Wrong again. See ya', Marty." Strike Two.
Back inside.
Walking into the Bar, Mike and, in a special guest appearance as a judge, Eric Wylie, lean against a wall, telling a pair of Minnesota girls about their new TV show, Blade Warriors. The girls are suitably impressed to meet such young producers. Of course they'll do lunch. In the meantime, Morton and Jacob are sousing themselves in Jaegermeister, trying to achieve a respectable level of inebriation before sampling life's box of chocolates. From across the bar, Supreme Judge Mark Shays is surreptitiously receiving a series of alcoholic gifts from a local girl who's taken a liking to the ramp skater and offers to prove her love. Out of nowhere, Tim appears in the club, sporting a wild young girl on his arm. She's wearing thigh-highs. She is not wearing underwear.** As everyone is distracted by Eric, Mark and Mike performing a show-stopping Buns of Steel medley on the dance floor, Morton pulls a David Copperfield and disappears with Tim's date. When they return, she's lost her thigh-highs. Tim, in a fit of jealousy, heads to the bar to flirt with some off-limit call girls. Strike Three. (Contested by Tim, who claims ignorance as to their pro status.) By then Eric has cast the Minnesota girls in a soft-porn Jiffy Pop commercial. As they rush over to tell their newly arrived Italian boyfriends the good news, the girl with no underwear, whose name is Johanna, discovers that she is head over heels for Mike. She promises to "fuck his brains out." All he has to do is let her shave his head. Mike offers to buy the razor.
Johanna, it turns out, is _ kept woman. Her Sugar Daddy keeps her in a plush suite at the Treasure Island with big round bed and an even bigger Jacuzzi. Morton passes out on the big comfy bed, as Mark, Jacob and Tim lounge around the suite, j a very drunk Johanna attack Mike's head with a pair of coupon-clipping scissors. Two and a half hours later, with a handsome Three Stooges coif, the now sober Mike still had his brain. Along with Tim and Morton, he had passed up his chance to court the damsels of Las Vegas. As the sun rose over the desert, Chris awoke on the floor of a room at the Sands. Confident that none of the other racers had found that elusive end goal, he yearned for a day of skating, proving that even in defeat one could still emerge victorious.
You guys suck!
"In a controversial decision, the judges Disqualified Morton's t position that more than gymnastics occurred in the room.
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Since there were no witnesses and no telltale evidence, even after a somewhat disgusting and degrading finger-smelling test, the jury was hung and dismissed Morton's appeal. **Mark had unsuccessfully explained that Tim had to get in, because he was in a race for love and honor. Ethics notwithstanding, they had even offered the bouncer a small bribe. But nothing worked, until our vision of Johanna whispered her own soft words of encouragement into the bouncers ears. This explains Tim's ninth-inning reappearance into our story.
Final Tally: Mike 10 points for numerous phone numbers, several unsolicited phone calls, three kisses, two gropes and a free haircut. Chris 5 points, for one phone number, from a girl who used to be a boy. Tim 3 courtesy points, for introducing Johanna to Mike. i Morton 7 points for handstanding; 4 penalty points for finger-sniffing test failure for a total of 3 points.
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Although Mike came in first on tech-, nical merit, he failed to cross, home nlate.Thereby no priie wasl awarded. Money will be carried over to[ next years contest.
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TO BE CONTINUED NEXT BOX. Send Photos, Art, Poetry, Writing, Recipes: BoX magazine Attn. N. Hood 1223 Wilshire Blvd. #893
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skater: Tasha Hodgson, Mute Air @ Spohn Ranch - shutter: Chris Sla^erman
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If you Iwant to feel Iwhite, make tracks for a~ Public Enemy sound check. There the rap groups, their road crews and assorted entourages will be ample reminders of your Anglo heritage. Then, if you really want to feel white, interview Lauryn, one-third of the Fugees, and second on the evening's bill. Although their record, Blunted on Reality, contains what may be last year's best single piece of music, "Boot Baf," and an astounding word per beat ratio, Lauryn, it turns out, is the almost silent foil of the group, capable of doing more with an arched eyebrow and a shake of the head than with a sentence. His attitude is, in fact, inscrutable. When, for instance, you tell him the album is the best rap record in years, you can almost hear him think, "Yeah, like you listened to it." The more you insist that you do, the more fawning you sound. So you move to safer ground, commenting on how the Fugees are a bridge between the thriving hip-hop underground. Indeed, proving the respect of both mainstream and underground rap, their concerts are hip-hop history lessons, encompassing everything from Grandmaster Melle Mel medleys to guest appearances by newcomers such as Mad Spider. Nor do the references stop there. Lauryn's favorite influences include not just r&b masters such as Sam Cooke, Al Green and the Isley Brothers, but also 70s rock artists such as Tom Petty, Phil Collins, Elton John, Yes, Sting and Aerosmith. Although the late Living Color would not approve, he even likes the politically incorrect Guns 'n' Roses. Filtering the range of contemporary music into an uncompromising street beat actually raises the hope that the Fugees can deliver on their promise to take hip hop to the "next level." What makes that exciting, he says, "is that hip hop is like rock was years ago." It's a new culture that speaks to new needs in a new language. And because record companies spend less on rap artists than on rock bands, one that provides a high return on a modest investment. But, reminds Lauryn, the artist cannot be motivated primarily by marketing or material concerns. "To keep it raw and real, you have to forget about everything but the music. If you lose that focus, you lose everything." The bottom line is important, because the Fugees plan on being around "a long time." Nor will they be satisfied with cult stardom. Quite the contrary. As Lauryn says, "It's important to get the music all over. I want to hear Fugees everywhere."
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Sequence: Local /\dam Buchter pulls a [clean, Method to fakie. This page: Cameron McEachin over grab judos the deep end. I
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How old? 31 Where do you skate?.Stone Edrre. . . 7 XDayfona) BadlancrsTOrlando) What k
rdo you like? Aggressive,
Last bands you listened to?
, %.n<»ryf-Crow What else do you do besides skate? Wind surfing What's your personal philosophy? Less stress is best.
Last book read? The Crow Favorite supermodel? All of them. Favorite snack foods?. Heavenly Hash,
Inspirational skater? Arlo E.
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lat kind of skating dp vou like? music• •»** i i v> • ^*, offspring i Music- K&Y1CIQ,
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skatefood? Happy Meal
Si^: Aries
Best cereal? f rested minnie wheats Future Job: Corp. Head Hunter
aggressive affirmations
skater: Chiaki Itoh, Taipan air Chiba , Japan - shutter: Iwao Ohtake
While reluctant to comment on an article she hadn't read, Osborne, who write lyrics such as "Let's just get naked," willingly elaborated on a comment fra her press bio that reads "Sexuality and spirituality are sa_closely related that to me it's not a contradiction in term to put the two right next to each other in song." "When I started," she explains, "I was influenced by ' people like Etta James, Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin and 'tis Redding. They were all owerful, intellectual and emotional; and they were all of those things at the same time. That is what people are â&#x20AC;&#x201D; to ^separate them into distinct lexual or analytical components is a lie and misses what nakes them exciting. It's not ike I felt a mission to celeirate sexuality in my music, iut when I was starting, I did hink, 'this is cool. I want to do .his.'" Later on," she continues, "you :et more analytical and try to , ut it into a context of what ther people do. Some women, e Joan Jett, Chrissie Hynde, aurie Anderson and even uzanne Vega, come across as I |one of the guys. But that's not .he right choice for me: I could't cut off the pleasure of the .usic, which comes so much from the body." Perhaps that's because grew up in Kentucky, where^ , rock stars were rare, and where music was something you did for fun. "When y grow up in a place like that, the idea of becoming rock star is way too crazy and stupid to take se ously. I wanted to be an archaeologist or a mari biologist or be in one of the other adventure s< ences, where you could work hard and become si cessful. I mean, wanting to be a rock star was lU wanting to become an astronaut or a billionaire, wasn't something that people with their feet on t ground aspire toward." And now that she's on that road, she's trying to ke her feet firmly planted. "I'm not the kind of pers who goes up and talks to famous people, so it's sort (strange to have people look at you as if you can g ithern the 10 Commandments. It's silly and odd, b since that's how they approach you, you can't he respond to it. Ultimately, it t
makes you somewhat isolated." Fortunately, she spends as much time as she can with her siblings, who also live in New York, and a' few friends who've known her a long time. "They really help." So does her work with Rock for Choice, which also provides some perspective. A clinic escort forj Planned Parenthood, she is "disturbed by the escalating violence around abortion clinics in this country." In addition to supporting Rock for Choice, she thus recommends that similarly-minded people volunteer at a local Planned Parenthood clinic. By this point I was in overtime. We hadn't talked much about her major label debut, called Relish. Of that she has said, "The word connotes taking pleasure in something and giving yourself to it in a very, sensual way. That's always my goal when I'm making music. And I hope that happens for the listener." t It did for me. j
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Just like your mother used to make. you wanna be down
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•
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"The future
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PHOTOS By SH
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( junior girls'' champ souls into firs!
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18-24yrs. 1st. - Aaron Fowlds 2nd. - Andrew Stewart 3rd. - Clinton Williams Senior Girls 1st. - Dorinda Foot 2nd. -Kathy Kenyon Junior Girls 1st. - Emma Gray 2nd. - Rosemary Forrester 3rd.- Anita Whittle
15-1 Tyre. 1st. - Hamish McCrae 2nd. - Nick Giles 3rd.- Jason Giles 12-14yrs. 1st. - Sinclair Grant 2nd. - Brady McDonnell 3rd.- Stewart Walker 9-11 yrs. 1st. - Adam Cooke 2nd. - Ian Robertson 3rd.- Tim Van Weerd over 25 years 1st. - Arthur Norris 2nd. - Dennis Flett
HHNt , Todd Ekersle3 flawless soul.
is ours!"
1
18-24yrs. list. - Aaron Fowlds J2nd. - Glen Mclaughlin jSenior Girls list. - Dorinda Foot J2nd. -Kathy Kenyon |3rd. - Tiffany Hough (junior Girls list. - Emma Gray J2nd. - Anita Whittle J15-17yrs. list. - Hamish McCrae |2nd. - Nick Giles J3rd.- Jason Toovey [12-14yrs. list. - Brady McDonnell J2nd. - Richard Whitehead J3rd.- Ryan Bennett 19-11 yrs. list. - Adam Cooke J2nd. - Tim Van Weerd hrd.- Nicholas Swain lover 25 years list. - Arthur Norris |2nd. - Dennis Flett
18-24yrs. 1st. - Aaron Fowlds 2nd. - Andrew Stewart 3rd. - Glen Mclaughlin Senior Girls 1st. - Dorinda Foot 2nd. -Kathy Kenyon Junior Girls 1st. - Emma Gray 2nd. - Anita Whittle 3rd. Rosemary Forrester 15-17yrs. 1st. - Hamish McCrae 2nd. - Jason Toovey 3rd.- Jared Rooney 12-14yrs. 1st. - Brady McDonnell 2nd. - Ben Meyers 3rd.- Sinclair Grant 9-11 yrs. 1st. - Adam Cooke 2nd. - Tim Van Weerd 3rd.- Paul Hicks
•
|f*RO ¥ERT| *
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1st. 2nd. 3rd. 4th. 5th.
- Aaron Fowlds - Brady McDonnell - Hamish McCrae - Sinclair Grant - Dorinda Foot
FUDGES Scott Bentley, Arlo Eisenberg.Tash | Mode son, Brooke H. Smith, Stacy Frasier J
Hamish McCrae bones a soul.
(June ZZ-July 2Z) cr O X
V
Your responsibilities have tripled but don't despair. U n l i k e Sisyphus, your stone-rolling days will soon end. Look for old friends to help in your time of need, but don't take them for granted. A new moon suggests a trip to the mountains. Just make sure to wipe with your left uncLand eat with your right.
(July Z3-AugustZZ)
Goofy has taken over Pluto's place in the guest house, causing you to make a fool of yourself everywhere you go. Even (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) your pet rock has lost faith in you but don't fret. Later this Your fiery year, you'll glow from the heat of a fine performance. Until t e m p e r a - then avoid sharp objects and seek meaning in reruns of jm ment makes Charlie's Angels and the rising popularity of Baywatch [wide. Tfc ^fc' ^c f ^ advisable to ^fl _ get out the loincloth and seek (August 23-September 22} solace before you burn Unexpec^ visitors come into your life just before spring all your bridges and are break and delay a much-needed visit to a party haven in left h o p e l e s s l y alone. The the sun. Don't fight it. Attempts to sneak away will prove planets of chat and charm in as successful as scratch 'n' sniff TV. Venus is in retroyour sign make it a good time for grade, sapping your usual verve, but creativity will get romance with a long-time admirer, making an unexpected boost in a long-term project. the solace a bit more palatable. If all else fails, hold your head high and tell yourself those, (September 23-pctober 23) goose bumps are just vestiges from the days Break in new shoes slowly to e l i m i n a t e blisters but don't expect air freshener to cover up the rancid smell festerhumans were covered with hair. ing in the bathroom. Approach all romantic propositions (February 19-March 20) before the full moon with caution and overcome your Beware the ides of March, April and May. Money is t i g h t , tendency to "settle" in your relationships. Remember, but extravagance reigns as impulsive Mars settles i n t o for_every yoni, there's a d e l i g h t f u l lingham, and choosy choose JIF. your house of finance. Direct your spending energy towards self-improvement instead. Get a b i k i n i wa grow a beard or experiment w i t h Tic Tacs instead (October 24-November 21) Certs. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to get rid of that Worn out b^the sexual demands of your partner, you'll secret pair of underwear before you're held accountable be tempted to slip a smidgen of saltpeter into t h e i r next bowl of Cookie Crisp. Too bad, t h e n , t h a t it's more of a wax and banana stains. diuretic than an inhibitor of sexual desire. Concentrate instead on the root of the problem. Try stamina-boosting Zl£$9 (March 21-April 19) Stop worrying: A person w i t h constipation cannot be poi- ex£j^cises or, as a last resort, roll around in an old set of that aromatherapy can work its magic. soned by their own waste. Besides, with Pluto in the outhouse, you should be meditating on greater matt such as the direction of your life, your chances of sul (November 22-December 21) vival, and the karmic connection you feel with the school Switch^om the spicy bean dip to salsa fresca. If you nurse. R i d i n g the porcelain horse for hours could be a can't break your addiction to beans, do your friends and your innards a favor and buy Beano in bulk. Saturn is in in disguise, and the path to spiritual balance. the big house for the first time in 240 years, forcing you to deal with old fears and demons. Take a deep breath (April 20-May 28) Orange is not your color, so exchange those hideous and buy a horsewhip. Banish the demons but hang on to ^hip. It holds the key to later exploits. pajamas for a new set of wheels. I t ' s also time to stop underestimating your charismatic powers. With and J u p i t e r in the boathouse, there's never been a (December Z2-January 19) time to demand a raise or an extension on the curfew. Take fcffne from your hectic schedule to clean out the Use Caution in late Spring, though. Where there's honey, fridge and scrub the stains off your t o i l e t bowl. There's s bound to be a sweet tooth in need of a root canal. n o t h i n g as troublesome for you r i g h t now as that pesky mildew in your liners — even Lysol will fail you. Although the prognosis is not good, your friends may surprise you (May 21-June 21) is is your time to bask in the spotlight. Stop hiding your culi- with a gift on the last day of the full moon. If it's a prenary talent and accept the accolades for your "meatless meat- paid t u i t i o n to a personal hygiene seminar, swallow your loaf recipe. Outside the kitchen is a different story as chaos bile and remind yourself that i t ' s the t h o u g h t that counts. reigns in your second house. Anxious friends are threatened by Then take the h i n t . your flourishing love life but no worries. Just be more discrete. The end of the month is a particularly good time to don your ragged skates and hit the rail that's been haunting you.
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skater: Mike Giacinti, method air @ Encinitas - shutter: Pete Santa Maria
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