WELLNESS

Mind Healing Mind Healing

Navigating amidst the uncertain chaos and turmoil of our lives, we reach points when we lose our peace of mind and feel stagnant in our emotional states. During this period, we should pause for a bit and gain a little perspective on the labyrinth of life. ‘Pause for Perspective’ is a psychological clinic in Hyderabad comprising a team of clinical psychologists and counselors who offer a safe space to understand ourselves, deal with our unspoken issues, and grow as a person. It is an inclusive organization that also offers services to queer and marginalized communities.

-Vaishnavi Maloth

In conversation with Aarathi Selvan, the Founder and Director of Pause for Perspective. She is a Clinical psychologist, Clinical supervisor, and Teacher in the field of psychology. She works with individuals, children, couples, and families. How to deal with stress?

The pandemic has changed the landscape of our minds and bodies and how we deal with what has hit us cannot be one that is a simple band-aid solution. Often, we are grappling with something big like the grief of people we have lost, or the jobs we have lost, continue to keep or exhaust ourselves in. Stress is not just burnout because you have been doing a lot of work, it is also emotional and mental exhaustion that doesn’t help you access creativity, connection, and presence in your life. In the midst of what we have been experiencing as a global community, dealing with stress is not a simple parlor trick we can unbox and keep going back to life as it were (which is more stress!) I believe that while there are scores of tricks and tricks to deal with stress that we can access freely with an internet search, the best thing, to begin with, would be a check-in with yourself. It helps to find time with ourselves to ponder about the stressors in our lives, to take stock of the many wonderful ways in which we already ‘deal’ with stress (even listening to music, taking a breath while you are buckling your seat belt before heading to work, all how you offer yourself to rest, pause and joy count!) And then really consider how systems of competition, one-upmanship, and rules that bind you to a typical way of being are stunting your natural ability to be present to yourself and the community you call home. Systems of capitalism and patriarchy are not built to help us ‘deal’ with stress. Our resistance to these systems and the joys we find outside of them are typically the best ways of dealing with stress.

How to help someone who seems to be withdrawing socially?

Wonderful question! This is for people who notice their loved ones being socially withdrawn. As people who care, it is important to be willing to engage in conversations. Asking the person how you can help, being present for conversations about what is causing them social withdrawal and perhaps asking if they’d like to be supported to see a therapist are some wonderful ways to offer presence and support. If you are an employer, a parent, or a spouse, support comes in terms of more tangible help. How to maintain relations while going through a rough time mentally?

This can be a hard one to do. It is important to access and ensure that you have a circle of support from family, friends, and a therapist. It is also important to learn to draw boundaries. There may be things you cannot do when you are experiencing strife and honoring what the body can and cannot do in a time like this is important.

What are the signs of exhaustion?

While there are typical signs that are present and pretty common sensical such as poor sleep, appetite, fatigue, not feeling rested, anxious, irritability, etc., it helps for each person to take stock of times when they have not felt exhaustion and times when they are feeling exhaustion and see what are ways in which they respond when exhausted. While largely we all may have common signs of exhaustion, chronic stress is so pervasive that it can manifest in ways we least expect.

How can mental struggle manifest physically?

Body and mind are intricately connected. Anxiety is both a physiological and psychological manifestation and so is having high Blood Pressure. There is no way we can take care of one and not take care of the other and experience well-being. How do you not let anxiety affect your social life?

Anxiety shows up in different ways. It is important to understand when anxiety shows up and how and why as well. It is also important to acknowledge that anxiety is the body’s natural response to what is not okay in the environment. If anxiety is affecting your social life, perhaps it doesn’t feel safe to be among the kinds of people you were with. Or perhaps getting out itself doesn’t feel safe (understandable given the world we live in.) So, it is important to titrate and explore what feels safe for us and what we might be willing to stretch into to have a social life. Perhaps we prefer to be in small groups but have been told that to ‘network’, ‘fit in’ and ‘seem cool’ we need to be seen in big groups. It is time we step away from the discourses that affect our natural capacity for connection and begin to explore what connection feels like. Perhaps anxiety has a message here, it’s trying to help but slowing us down and becoming willing to explore with curiosity. How to help someone with suicidal thoughts?

If someone is distressed, depressed, or extremely anxious and you notice this, it is important to lend a listening ear and be present for them. If you find that it is difficult to be present given how life can be, then it is important to get them help. Reaching out to a therapist and referring them and being present for them post-sessions can be an incredible support. If you know that someone is suicidal, or if they appear very distressed you mustn’t be the only one supporting them. Both you and they may need professional support through this hard time. What kind of lifestyle changes can help one’s emotional health?

If only the systems around us can support our mental, physical, financial, and emotional well-being. While that may be a distant dream, the community can help us deeply. A community of people, things, and practices that help us connect with our deepest hopes for ourselves can incredibly help our emotional health.

How to take care of one’s mental well-being?

It is important to have practices that help us take care of our mental health. Having non-judgemental, safe, and caring spaces where we can be ourselves, explore our strengths and rejoice in our joys can help tremendously. Ensuring that we are taking breaks, and caring for our bodies can also be helpful. Having financial support and independence and ways to work through hard times with a community of support can also be nice to have in the journey of caring for one’s mental health.

A few myths about therapy and the road to recovery

•You are broken if you need to go to therapy.

•Once you are done with the therapy you are ‘fixed.’

•Therapy is for people who don’t know how to deal with themselves.

•One session will fix all my worries.

•The therapist is an expert in helping me solve all my problems.

•My anxiety and depression are bad, I should never have them and I have to get rid of them. Please tell us a little bit about the kind of experience people can expect at ‘Pause for Perspective.’

Pause for perspective is a mental health organization that works with individuals, couples, children, and families. We also work with organizations and community spaces. Our work hopes to help make mental health conversations accessible for all. We work from a feminist, queer affirmative, and anti-casteist stance. Our approach is primarily social justice based and also mindfulness informed. Pause is a non-judgmental, safe holding space for people to explore their place in their lives and work towards ways of being that are sustainable and hope-making.

Pause for Perspective

Address: Aarathi Selvan's Pause for Perspective, 6-3-1219/7/A Street Number 2, Kaisen imperial Heights, 1st Floor, #101, Kundanbagh Colony, Begumpet, Hyderabad, Telangana 500016 Instagram: pauseforperspective Email: pause.perspective@gmail.com