Love Yourself

WORDS BY Malena Frey

ART BY Aleesha Martin @iampluto

At the end of February when uni was just a week away, the memory of never-ending stress, vague instructions and the 2,093 unopened emails I had received by week one last semester made me dread what I knew was to come. Amid the grind of uni, life seemed to consist of nothing but a mountain of assignments, work, miserable weather and a strong feeling that I should’ve given up in week three. While I’m sure most people probably have much healthier outlets, being the horny bitch that I am, I found hooking up to be a major source of fun and respite during a seemingly mundane time. As such, when it became clear that clubs, parties, dates, and anything else that could lead to a hook-up was not going to be an option this semester, I was annoyed to say the least. Yet this isolation period has been far from unsatisfying, at least sexually anyway. If you’re like me and this has been the one time where you haven’t been able to waste an obscene amount of your money on food or alcohol, consider using these savings to invest in a sex toy. Although I was sceptical at first, a friend recently gifted me a vibrator and it has taken solo time to new heights — if you know what I mean. With multiple settings, designs and a range of sizes, there are a myriad of vibrators to suit every need. While it is exciting to splurge on a high end kind, there are lots of options that begin from as little as $40, so if you need to, you’ll be able to find one that won’t break the bank.

What’s better? Vibrators are no short term investment. When you are able to hook up again, they can be super sexy and exciting to use with a partner.

More importantly, if you’re one of the many women who struggle to climax from penetration alone, or your partner still can’t seem to find the clit *sigh*, a vibrator can be super helpful in providing that extra stimulation. However, if you have directed your extra funds into your recently developed online shopping addiction, there are thankfully also plenty of free options. Consider erotica, porn or even audio apps to help get your fix during this hook-up free period. My current favourites are the audio app Dipsea and porn brand Bellessa. With both offering lots of free content, Dipsea features sexy stories — ideal if you don’t want your hands to have to focus on anything but your body — while Bellessa caters well to those after visual stimulation. In addition, both platforms have been founded by women and focus on women’s pleasure, yet provide a diversity of categories including BDSM, queer, passionate and more. So while there’s lots of vanilla content, these platforms have any kinky queens covered too. While you may be aching for another hook up, remember that spending more time satisfying yourself and trying out different things on your own may help you to discover what you didn’t previously know you liked. This solo time may also lead to finding things you can incorporate into future hook-ups, making them even better when they do happen again!