Trytoimaginetheworldwithnolove.Hardtodo,isn'tit?Loveisasacredfeelingtoeveryone. Loverunstheworld.Withoutloveintheworld,nothingwouldgetdone.Thinkaboutit,without love,thehumanpopulationwouldnotbenearlyaslargeaswhatitistodayWithoutpeople'slove forotherpeople,nonewfamilieswouldbecreated.Anotherexampleiswithoutpeople'slovefor theirwork,nothingnewwouldbediscovered.Loveisuniquetoeveryone,eachpersonloves differentlyfromthenext.Loveisimmeasurable,anditshouldnotbedefinedbysciencebecause loveisnaturalandexperienceddifferentlybyeveryone.
TherearemultipletypesoflovePeoplelovetheirparentsdifferentlyfromhowtheylovetheir friends,their...showmorecontent...
Therewouldalsobeseriousnegativeoutcomesifthisexperimentweretobedone.Ifscientistsdo tellpeoplethesignsoflove,thenmanypeoplewouldreactbadlytothisSomeindividualswould lookattheseresults,andcomparethemtotheircurrentrelationships.Ifthedefinitionoflovebythe scientistsisnotthesameastheirperspectiveoflove,thentheymaytakethattoheartandstartto thinkaboutdotheyreallylovethepersontheyarewith.Thiscanultimatelyleadtodivorce, friendshipsbreaking,andbondsbrokenwithcolleaguesorfamilymembers.Thismayseemlikean unrealisticscenariotosome,butitisveryprobablethatthisoutcomewouldoccurForexample,ifa manwhowascurrentlyhappilymarriedreadstheseresults,itcouldpossiblycausethemanto becomeskepticalabouthisfeelingstowardstheotherperson,anditcouldpossiblyresultintheend ofthemarriage.Thiscanpreventfuturehappinessforthecouple,itcanpreventfamiliesfrombeing made.Thesamethingcanhappenwithfamilymembers,workrelationships,andoldfriends.A similaroccurrencecanhappenwithpeople'slovefortheirworkIfscientistsrevealhowpeople shouldfeeliftheylovetheirwork,somepeoplecanlookatthatandsay,"Oh,accordingtothis scientificdefinition,Idon'treallylovewhatI'mdoingwithmylife."Thepeoplewhothinkthiscan thengoontothinkthatthey'vewastedtheirlifedoingsomethingtheydidn'treallylove,just
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Wearebroughtuponromanticlove.Isthistrueinyourexperience?Ifsowriteapaperonwhich youfirstdefinethisamorphousconceptandthendiscusshowyoucameaboutit.Foreg.Haveyou beeninfluencedbymedia,T.V.,moviesinparticular.Concludebystatingwhetheryoubelievein romanticloveorhavecastoftheidea.
"Idon'tcarewhatyouthink,whenhecomesI'llleaveandwon'teventurnbackandlookatyou,he'll loveme,hewon'tbelikeyou..."WordsspokenbymewhenIwasbarely10yearsofage.Iwas addressingmymotherafterwe'dhadanargumentandreferringtothearrivalofmyprincecharming whowouldunderstandallmydilemmasandmakelife'heaven'formeSuchistheperceptionof romanticlovethatIformed...showmorecontent...
Allourculturalconditioningmakesusregardloveasasinglepositivefeeling,wheninfactthereare amultitudeoffeelings,includingthoseofenvy,hostilityandjealousy,mutualbitternessandsome positivelyinhumanactions–allsanctified,asitwere,byasingleword:love.Tothiswordwetag allkindsofexpectations
Ouroverfocusleadsustodemandtoomuchfromlove.Weputallouremotionaleggsinone basket:aromanticpartnermustbeallthingstous–lover,friend,companion,playmateandparent. Wedon'trealizethatnomatterhowhardapartnertriestobeallthingstous,gratifyingallofone's needsisaherculeantask–beyondthehumancalling.
Culturalideasthatloveisobtainableby"wishingonastar"orcallingonone'sfairy godmother,isaresultof"destiny,"orotherwish–fulfillmentmythsblindpeopletothe realitythatvaluesmustbeearnedbyself–generatedandself–sustainingaction.
RomanticrelationshipsarethegreatestarenaforspiritualgrowthavailabletousItiswellworththe risktotakeachanceonloveifweareviewingitasalearningexperienceratherthanthegoalin,and of,itself.Romanceispartofthejourney–notthedestination.
Thereisnothingwrongwithwantingtheprinceorprincesstocomeintoourlives.Whatisimportant istoknowthattheywillhaveissuestoworkthrough–andtheywillpushthebuttonsofourissues sothatweareforcedto
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Loveconquersall.That'swhatwehearoverandoveragaingrowingup.Everyonelongsforthatone amazingpersontowaltzintoourlivesandstealourheartsfortherestofeternity,butisitpossible thatlovewillbestrongenoughtofaceanyproblemthatgetsinourway?T.CoraghessanBoyle oncesaid"Asstrongaslovemightbe,thereisalwayssomethingstrongerthatcouldcomealongand shatterit"(After)
T.CoraghessanBoylewasbornin1948asThomasJohnBoyleinPeekskill,NewYork.When BoylewenttocollegeheneverdreamedthatonedayhewouldhaveamajorinLiterature.He originallywenttomajorinmusicasanaspiringsaxophoneplayeratSUNYPotsdam("Auteur") "ThatdidnotworkoutbecauseIdidnothavenearthe...showmorecontent...
ChinadidnottellanyoneaboutthebabyexceptJeremy.Theywenttotwodifferentcollegesand thattheywoulddealwiththebabywhenitwastimeforChinatogivebirth.WhenChina'swater brokeshecalledJeremyandtheywenttoamotel.JeremydeliveredthebabygirlandChinatoldhim to"getridofit"sohethrewthebabyinthedumpsteroutside(Boyle387)Theyleftthemoteland wentbacktothecollegeasifnothingeverhappened.Thepolicecamethenextmorningandarrested bothChinaandJeremy.ChinaandherparentsdecidedtoplacetheblameonJeremybyallowing everyonetothinkthatChinahadbelievedshehadmiscarried,andJeremyactedaloneondumping thebreathingchildintothedumpster.Thisenormousproblemeventuallyledtothedownfallof ChinaandJeremy'srelationship
Boylegetshisideasforhisstoriesinmanydifferentways,somecanbefromhimjustwalkingdown thestreetandanideapopsintohishead,othersideascomewhenheiswatchingtelevisionor readingabookBoylegottheideatowrite"TheLoveofMyLife"fromacasehereadinthe newspaper(After).ThecasewasaboutamurderinvestigationinvolvingAmyS.Grossbergand BrianC.Petersonforthemurderoftheirnewbornbabyboy.Grossbergdeliveredthebabyata ComfortInninNewark,Delaware,inNovember1996("Amy").Grossbergwasassistedbyher boyfriendBrianPeterson.Petersonthrewthebabyinthedumpster.InMarch1998,Peterson
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Blindlovecanbeahurtfulexperience,oronethatismisleading.Oneexampleofblindloveisbeing inlovewithsomeonewhowillprovokeyouintodoingthingsyouwouldnotnormallydo.While mostpeoplehavecertainstandardswhichtheyliveby,beinginlovewithsomeonetothepointthat theyinfluenceyoutogoagainstwhatyoubelieveinisaresultofblindlove.
Beinginlovecanoftenpersuadeapersontodoanythinginordertomaketheotherhappy,orto keepfromloosingthem.Itmakesoneincapableofdistinguishingrightfromwrong,andoftenthe personwhoistherecipientofthiskindofblindlovewilltakeadvantageofthiscircumstanceItcan beassimpleashavingthemdoallthehousework,cookingandcatering...showmorecontent... Whenfriendsandfamilyseethishappeningandtrytointervene,theywillthinkofitasanintrusion andwillnotlistenorwelcomethisadvice.
Blindlovecanalsobewhenapersonfallsinlovewithsomeoneiscontrollingorpossessive,and thispersonbrainwasheshimorherintothinkingofhimorherselfasworthless,thereforeusingthem totheiradvantage,oftenforbiddingthemtohavecontactwithfriendsorfamily.Thiscanresultinan abusiveaffair,butbecauseofblindlove,thispersonstartstobelieveineverythingtheothersays anddoes,andbecomesenslavedintherelationship.
Acouplewhoarebothblindedbylovemaydothingsthatareirrational,orbeinaworldalltheir own,choosingeachotheranddismissingtheirfriendsandfamily.Theywanttospendevery momenttogether,andaresomuchinlovethattheyabandontheirjobs,socialobligationsand anythingelsethatwillseparatethemfromeachother.
Blindlovecanalsobealovethatseesnocolor,race,flawsorhandicaps.Itisalovethatis unconditional,andlooksorpersonaltraitsdonotmatter,onlythefactthattheyhavefoundlove.Itis asifapersonweretrulyblind,asinnotbeingabletosee,onlytofeelwithone'sheart,andtofallin lovewithsomeonewithoutcaringwhatheorshelooklike.Someexamplesofthiscouldbe
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Throughthissonnet,ShakespearetriestodefinewhatthephenomenonofLoveisallabout,byfirst statingwhatitisn't,thenassertingwhatitis.
Hestartswithrejectingthemarriagedoneforlogicalandsensiblereasonsstatingthattherearetoo manyobstructionsinthepathofsuchrelationshipsHethencondemnsthelovewhichchangeswith thechangingcircumstancesoflife,orendswithdeath,claimingthatthatisn'ttruelove.Comparing ittotheNorthStarandusingnauticalterms,Shakespearethendesignateloveasasolidconstant remainderHedescribestheintensityandferocityoftheemotionassuchthatpeoplewhoareinlove donotbackdownfromwhateverchallengesanddifficultieslifethrowsatthem,butfacethem withshowmorecontent
Thefirstoftheseisalliterationwhichisimmediatelyclearinthefirstlineitself:therepetitionofthe letter"m"and"t"in"menottothemarriageoftrueminds"givesthelineaninternalrhythm.Loveis personifiedseveraltimesthroughoutthesonnet:itisn'tsomethingwhichcanchangeorend,itis constantandsolid,itfaces"tempests"andis"nevershaken."Alltheseinstancesofattributingthe qualitiesofapersontoamereemotion,servetheirpurposeinmakingtheBard'smessageclear,that loveisneverending.OnealsofindsTimetobepersonified"LoveisnotTime'sfool."This descriptionpaintsTimeasapuppeteerwhoplaysaroundwitheverything,controllingeveryone,and changingthingsonawhim,whichisarepeatingideainmanyofShakespeare'sothersonnetsplays andpoems.Yetloveissetapartfromtherestofalltheemotionsthatonefeels:itissomething whichTimecanexercisenorightover,asitisindependentofallsortsofmanipulations.Visual imageryisthenevokedtofurtheremphasizethispointandthepictureofOldKeenTimeshuffleson wieldingahugesickle,yetLovecontinuestoevadeitsgrasp,appearsinthe
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Love
Loveisdifficulttodefine,difficulttomeasure,anddifficulttounderstand.Loveiswhatgreat writerswriteabout,greatsingerssingabout,andgreatphilosophersponder.Loveisapowerful emotion,forwhichthereisnowrongdefinition,foritsuitseachandeverypersondifferently Whetherloveisbetweenfamily,friends,orlovers,itisanoverwhelmingemotionthatcanbe experiencedinmanydifferentways.
PeopleexperienceloveforthefirsttimebybeingpartofafamilyFamilyloveisdemonstrated throughlessonsofsacrifice,concernandcompassion,fromthecradletothegrave.Therearemany differentlevelsandconditionsoffamilylove.Itisthelovewecherishbetweenourintermediate familyandourshowmorecontent
Aclose–knitlovingbondbetweentwopeoplecanbeginwithafriendship.Whetheritisafriendship betweentwomales,twofemales,oronemaleandonefemale,thesefriendshipswilldevelopinto love.Innowayisitaromanticlove,butthistypeofloveconnectsandbondsfriends.Friendsmay moveawayorfriendshipsmaywane,butthelovebetweenthetwopeopleburnsonforever. Romanticloveisalovethatnoteverypersonwillexperience.Itisatypeoflovethatisnotthereat thebeginning,butgrowswithintheindividual.Whenonefinallyfindsthelovetheyhavebeen lookingfor,onecannotimaginelifewithanybodyelseRomanticloveisaconnectionbetweentwo soulsthatiscapturedwithafeelingthatisnotonlyfeltwithintheheartbutwithintheirbodyas well.Ihaveneverbeeninlovewithagirl;Icanonlyimaginewhatitmightbeliketobeinlove.
Guessingfrommysister'srelationshipwithboys,itseemslikeabigheadacheinsteadofa wonderfulfeeling.
Tosimplywriteadefinitionofloveiscomplicatedbecauseeverypersonhasadifferentperception oflove.Theonlywaytocapturethetruemeaningofloveistoexperiencethefeelingandfindout foroneself,whatloveis.Inourlivesandthelivesofothers,loveisevident.Whetheritisbetween family,friends,orlovers,loveisaprecious
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TheMerriam–Websterdictionarydefinesthewordloveas,"afeelingofstrongorconstantaffection forsomeone."Ipersonallydefineloveasanunconditionalfeelingandafeelingofabsolutebliss. ThefivequalitiesthatIbelievearethemostimportantinloveincludedependability,honesty, selflessness,loyalty,andempathy.Mosteveryoneneedssomeonethatwilllovethem unconditionallytohelpguidethemwhentheyareatalowandsupportthemwhentheyareattheir high;forme,thatpersonismybestfriendandboyfriend,EanIsaiahThomsen.Beforemy sophomoreyearofhighschool,EanThomsenwasnotnecessarilyapersonthatIwasfondof.When wewereinourfreshmenyear,Eanwasanimmature,obnoxiousperson,alwaystryingtoget attention.OnAugust29,2015,Irememberfeelingmyphonebuzzinmydenimshortspocketand receivingatextmessagefromEanThomsensaying,"HappyBirthdayKena!"Fromthere,westarted havingrandomconversationsovertextandthroughouttheschooldays,makingmerealizethathe hadmaturedexponentiallyoverthesummer.WebegantodateonSeptember29,2017,andIstill rememberobservingthesurprisedfacesofpeoplewhenthenewshadspread;wearecurrentlystill together.EanThomsenhaslightbrown,silkyhairthatfallsperfectlyonhisforehead,notshaggy likeadog,butnotextremelyshorteither.Hisdeep,darkchocolatebrowneyescouldeasily mesmerizeyouandhehaseyelashesthatanygirlwouldenvytohave.
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Whendiscussinglove,peoplegenerallythinkaboutthelovebetweenahusbandandwife,orthe lovebetweenacoupleinaromanticpartnership,andthatisonetypeoflovethatIwillbe discussing.Inadditiontoromanticlove,thereareothertypesoflovealso.Thereisthelovewehave forourchildren,ourfamilies,andalsothelovethatwehaveforourfriends.Allofthesetypesof lovesharesomeofthesameattributes,however,theyhavedifferencesalsoInreadingand researchingdifferenttypesoflove,Ihavefoundthatromanticloveandfriendshipseemtobethe mostsimilarinnature,althoughtheyhavedifferences,theysharealotofthesameattributes.I foundthatfriendshipandromanticlovetendtohavemoresimilaritiesthandifferencesInthispaper Iwillexamineromanticloveandfriendship.Iwilldiscussthedefinitionsofthetwo,andwhat elementseachofthesehave.Iwilldiscussthedifferenttheoriesoflove,andIwillcompareand contrastthesimilaritiesanddifferencesbetweenromanticloveandfriendship.Byfriendship,Imean truefriendship,orclosefriendships.Ibelievethattruefriendshipisverydifferentfromcausal friendshipsTruefriendshipsinvolvealevelofemotionalintimacythatyoudonotfindwithcausal friendshipsoracquaintances.Ifyoulookinthedictionary,itwilldefinefriendshipasthe relationshipbetweenfriends,orthestateofbeingfriends(Merriam–Webster.com).Idonotfindthat the ...Getmorecontent...
Loveisanabundantemotionthathasdifferentdegrees.Thereisfamiliallove,friendlylove, unconditionallove,andofcourseromanticlove.Romanticlovewillbethesuperstarofthisarticle. Romanticlovemaybearoundeverycornerwhetherbetweenanoldcoupleorayoungteenage romance.However,loveisnottheeasiestthingtoattain.Itissuchasimpleconcept,thougha difficultthingtoactuallyhaveaperson'shandson
Mostpeoplenowadayswillyearnforsomethingmorecommonlyknownastruelove.Truelovecan beexplainedinasensethatitisapersonwemayormaynotconsiderasasoulmate.Itcanbe someonewelovetoacertaindegreethatwefeelhappy,complete,andcontented
Thedefinitionmaybethrownoutthereinwhateverway,butmeetingeyetoeyewithsaidtruelove comeswithcertaincomplexity.
Inothertimes,wemaybethrownoffWhatwethinkcouldbeconsideredlovemaynotactuallybe love.
Thoughbeforeknowinghowtofindlove,onemustknowthebasicswhenitcomestotheactof lovingingeneral.
PsychologyToday.comrecordsresearchonlove.
Accordingtosaidresearch,vitalthingstoadeepkindoflovearephysicalattractionandacertain levelofintimacy,whichfollowthroughwithcompanionshipthatyoufeeltowardstheotherperson.
Thefollowingcanleadtodifficultybecause,inasense,peopleoftodayareinclinedtowardsan idealviewofromance.Peopleareblindedbywhattheyseeinthemediaandrelatewhatever
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Love,Love,Love.Weallthinkaboutit,dreamaboutit,singaboutit,andevenlosesleepworrying aboutit,butwhy?Loveissuchasmallwordpairedwithavitalmeaning.It'suniversal,easyto spell,difficulttodefine,butimpossibletolivewithout.Whenwedon'thaveit,wesearchforit, whenwefindit,wedon'tknowwhattodowithit,whenwehaveit,wefearlosingit.Loveisthe constantsourceofhappinessandsorrowIamyoungandIhaven'taclueastowhatloveis,letalone whatfallinginloveis.However,Ihavemyideasofwhatloveislike.Ihaveneverwitnessedthe beautyofpeoplefallinginlove,ortheseverityofthosefallingoutoflove,sowhatislove?
Loveingeneralcouldbefrightening.Some...showmorecontent...
Ithinkfallinginlovewithsomeonehappenswhenyouleastexpectitto,whenyou'retoobusy focusingonotheraspectsofyourlife.Thisiswherefatecomesintoplay.Thatspecificpersonwas ledtoyouforsomeunknownreason.Outoftheblues,it'slikeyourknightinshiningamourthatyou havelongedtobewithfinallyfoundhis/herwaytoyouTherearepeopleinthisworldthatthink theymayneverfallinloveagain.Youfallattimes,butyougetbackup.Youwillloveagain,and youwillalsotrustagain.Youhavetosimplyletthingsgetthemselvesdone,that'swhenyouknow it'smeanttobe,becausedestinytookitscourse,andwhileyouweretoobusydoingsomethingelse, theloveofyourlifecamealong.
Lovedateswaybacktowhentheworldbegan.Inreality,wereallyhavenoideawhatlovetrulyis. Raisingquestionslike,isitevenreal?Wewatchlovemovies,readromancenovels,butthat'sthe sugar–coated,sweetandsimpleversionofitMeetingsomeone,fallinlove,getmarried,havekids, spendtherestofyourlivestogether.Whataboutthesufferingwehavetoendurewhenfallingin love?Riskingeverythingforthatoneperson?Andevenwhenwefeelwe'vereachedtheendofthe road,thispersonhasthepowertoleaveusatanygivenmoment.Weputourselvesouttherewiththe chancetheycanbreakusapart.
Love,asitiswitheverything, ...Getmorecontent...
"Iloveyou."Thesethreesmallwordshavesuchapowerfulmeaning.Loveissomethingforwhich everyhumansincethebeginningoftimehassearched.Fromthequestfortheperfectguyorgirl,to yearningforacceptance,thesearchgoesbacktotheindividual'sdesireforlove.Thedilemmaisthat lovehasbecomehackneyedandcliché.Peopleflingaroundthewordloveasifitisnothingwhenin realityloveissuchapowerfulwordPeopleusethewordlovewheninrealitytheyshouldbeusing thewordlustorinfatuation.Societytriestoreplaceaperson'sneedtobelovedthroughsex,which doesnotworkbecausethatpersonjustendsupgettinghurt.Doestruelovereallyexist,orisitas bogusasafairytale?Thepoems,"Letmenotshowmorecontent Inthepoem,"Letmenottothemarriageoftruelove,"thespeakernotesthatlovethataltersthrough circumstancesisnotloveatall(Shakespeare574).Trueloveisunconditional.Truelovedoesnot carewhetheraperson'slover'slooksorpersonalitychangebecausethepersonwillstillloveher. Evenifthelovermakesmistakes,theloveisstillpresent.Thespeakeralsoarticulatesthatlove watchesthroughthestorm,butisnevermoved(Shakespeare)Trueloveisidenticaltobeinginan eyeofastorm.Althoughthereisadestructivestormaround,nothingcandisturborshaketruelove. Whenproblemsarise,theloversmaybeshaken,butnevermoved.Thespeakerrealizesthatbeauty iffleeting.Hecommentsthateventhoughthebeautyofyouthwillgoaway,lovedoesnotchange; loveisnotboundbytime.Trueloverealizesthatpeoplearenotgoingtobeyoungandbeautiful foreverTimebasicallydoesnotexistbecauseevenafterdeath,thelovewillstillbethere Shakespeare'sspeakercomparestruelovetoastarthatguidesallthelostships;althoughaperson maybeabletocalculateitsdistancenoonewilltrulycomprehendhowmuchitistrulyworth(574). Truelovecanbelikeastaritseemslikesuchalittlethinguntilonestudiesitandexperiencesitand thenthetrueworthofitisknown.Shakespeare'scharacterarguesthatiftruelovedoesnotexist, Shakespearehasnever
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Muchhasbeensaidaboutlove,butifyousearchthehorizon,youwilldiscoverthatmostofthe thingswrittenaboutloveareeitherpithyorcynical.
Societyingeneralcanbecruelandheartlesstowardrealvirtueofanykind.Inthemostpopular venues,loveisseldomdealtwithwithanydegreeofsobrietyModernhumormocksmarriage, husbandsandwives,thenglorifieseveryconceivablebreechofvirtue,suchassexualimmorality, profaneandobscenevalues.
Realloveisamysterytomostpeople.Mostpeopleneverrealizethetruepotentialorvalueoflove, nordotheylearntopracticetheartoflove.Itisusuallyverypoorlydefined.Peoplethinktheyare inlove,buttheycan'texplainit.Thereisagreatdealofconfusionshowmorecontent Romanceisdifferentfromlove,eventhoughideally,theyshouldoccurtogether.Romanceisthe emotionalcomponentofloveRomanceaddsthesparkleinyoureyesRomanceaddstheperfume andthecolors.Romanceembellishesthesceneryandswellsthemusic.Romanceisthegildingof love.Romanceisgoldleaf.Itisornamentation.Romancesometimesbecomesameansuntoitself.It evenbecomesacheapsubstituteforloveattimes.Somepeopleseemtodesirethetrappingsand embellishmentsofromanceinplaceofgenuinerelationships.Bycomparison,romanceissuperficial toloveRomanceisskindeepLoveisheartdeepRomancerequiresthingsthatlovedoesnot require.Romancerequiresgifsandsurprisesandlavishattention.Romancesometimesdemands thingsthatcontradictlove.Romanceisoffendedwhenthegoldleafwearsoff.Romancecondemns lovethatisnoteye–pleasingRomanceofteninjuresanddenigratestruelovebecauselovedoesn't alwaysappealtoromance'sselfishness.
Loveisforgivers,notgetters.Thosewhodemandtobelovedbeforetheywillloveshouldn'tbe surprisedifnoonegivesthemlove.Loversliveinaworldofgiving.Thegetters,theoneswhoare lookingforlove,isadifferentworldWehaveadutytolove,butwehavenoguaranteesthatwe willbeloved.Wehaveitinourpowertolove,butwehavenopowertoforceotherstoloveus.Itis follytospendlifedemandinglovefrom
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Imethertwoyearsagoandwedidnothavemuchtosayatthattime.LittledidIknowthatshe wouldlaterstealmyheartandbecomeanintimatepartofmylife.Asthesayinggoes"thereis someoneforanyoneatanytimeinthislife"andIwasabouttofindoutthatthissayingwassotrue. Ihavehadawallbuiltaroundmeandmydefensewasasastrongholdtoprotectmyselffromallthe relationshipsthathavecomeandgoneovertheyearsIthoughtthatIwasmeanttobealoneinthis oldlifeandhappinesswasforevergonefromme.ThiswonderfulwomanIamspeakingofisMary Doe,andthejoyshehasgivenmehasrevivedmyhopeandfaiththatImayhavefinallyfoundlove andpeacewithinShehasmademefeellikeIamachildshowmorecontent
"Peoplewillonlytrytotakeadvantageofyouifyouopenthedoorforthemtodoso"."Bestrong, beindependent,andabovealllove,love,lovewhenyoufindsomeoneworthyofyourlove".Even mydreamsconsistofher.LastnightIdreamedthatIwasridingoutontheopenrangeandafter aroundthreehoursjustridingandenjoyingthepeaceandquiteofbeingawayfromeverythingI noticedafigurewalkingtowardsmeIwasnotworriedbutjustcuriousastowhoitmaybeWhenI drewnearerIcouldtellitwasawoman.Ithoughttomyselfwhyissheouthereallaloneand walking.Thiswashorsecountryandtherewasnothingformilesaroundthatshecouldwalktoo. WhenwefinallycamefacetofaceIcouldseethatshewascryingandthattearswerecomingdown andsuchasadlookonherface.Idismountedandaskedif"Imaybeofanyhelp?Shebegantocry allthemuchharderandtriedtotalkbutheremotionshadthebestofherItookachanceandputmy armsaroundherandlethercryuntilthereseemedtobenomoretearsinwhichshewouldbeableto shed.WhenshedidfinallylookatmehereyesweresosadandItookmyhandandsoftlybrushed awaythetearsflowingdownhercheeksIaskediftherewasanythingIcoulddoforher,andshe said"no,Imusthandlethismyway"."Howareyougoingtohandleanythingouthereallaloneand cryingthewayyouare"?MaryDoethenlookedatmeandsaid,"you
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LoveinPoetry
Thereareendlesswaysinwhichlovecanbeportrayedandoccur.Therearenumeroustypesoflove, whetherit'sphysical,emotionalorromanticlove.Iintendtoexpanduponandhighlightthevarious waysinwhichloveanlossisportrayedin5selectedpoems:JohnClare's'First Love',JohnKeats''LaBelleDameSansMerci',RobertBrowning'MyLast Duchess'andChristinaRossetti'stwopoems'Birthday'and 'Remember'Allofthepoetsportraylovetheconceptofloveorlossorbothinrelationtosome; theyallattempttocaptureandexpressthepresenceofloveandlossintheclosestwaypossible.
In?FirstLove?,thepoet(JohnClare)situateshispoemasiftellingastory.Thestoryofayoung boy...showmorecontent...
Sincethemomentthepoet–to–beseteyesonthisfairytailprincesslikefigure;Clareisparalysed duetotheoverloadofemotionwhichhasovercomehimandofsuchalevelexperiencedforthe firsttime,almostasifheisunderaspell:
?Mylegsrefusedtowalkaway.?
Thepoetcarriesontosay?Wordsfrommyeyesdidstart;?asifduetotheoverloadofemotion runningthroughhisbodyparalyzinghimandmakinghimdumbfound,theyoungboydesperately wantsthegirlsheavenlyeyestomeetwithhis,asifasigntorecognizehimandhisfeelingstowards her.Oblivioustothefactthattheyounggirlstilldoesnotrecognisehisfeelingstowardshereorhis existenceasamatteroffact;Clarecarriesonacknowledginghisloss,andsimultaneously emphasizeshisundyinglovetowardsherandcontinuerstosecretlyadmireher.
Thepoetexpresseshislossinsuchawaythatthereaderfeelssympathetictowardshim;secretly admiringandlongawomanwhodoesnotevenknowheexistsletalonehisfeelingstowardsher.
?Areflowersthewinterschoice??
?Islove?sbedalwayssnow??
thesetwolinesexpresshisfeelingsofundyinglovetowardshisfirsttrueloveandhowhefeelshe shouldhavetoldherhowhefelt;butalasitistolate,soheputshisfeelingsinwritingintheformof apoem.Thefirstlineexpresseshisfeelingsofadmiration
Whatislove?ThetypeofloveI'mdescribingistheonethatgivesyoubutterflieswhenacertain personcomestomind.Justseeingthatparticularpersoncanbeenoughtomakeonesmileandmake yourdayandalltheworriesgoaway.Rightnowthatpersoncomestomind.It'sneitheracrushnor infatuationandmanyarewillingtodoanythingforthisthingthatiscalledlove.Lovecanhurtinthe longrun,andpeoplecanalsobeblindedbyitThosewhoarereadytobelovedhavetoask themselvesifthereareemotionallyreadyfor.Manypeopleputupwallstoguardtheir"heart"from beinghurtagain.Loveteachesusmanylessons.Weusethoselessonsinourfuturerelationships.
Wedon'twanttomakethesamemistakesLastly,loveshowmorecontent Itsgivesusthatloveinreturncanmakeusfeeltinglyandhappyfeelingwhereasweareoftensad andlonelywithoutlove.Lovegivesushardlessontolearn.Ilearnedthatlovedoeshurtandtake timetoheal.Webuildwallstoprotectusfrombeinghurtagain.Ialsolearnthatloveiscolorblind. Whenwe'retrulyinlovewiththepersonweseebeyondcolororitdoesn'tmatterbecausethat personacceptsthatpersonforwhomtheyareWhenwelovethosethatadifferentculturefromus weseebeyondthoseimperfections.It'shardtodescribe'love'throughthesense.Whenwe experiencethroughthesenseofsighitshituslikeastuckoflightening.Almostloveatfirstsight. Lovethroughthesenseoftouchiswhentheyyouorputtingtheirarmsaroundyouwhenyouare sittingdown.Lovethroughthesenseoftasteiswhenthepersonyouareattractedtokisses.When weexperiencelovethroughthesenseofsmellwhenyou'reusedtoacertainaromafromthatperson Youseemtogetusedtowhentheywearacertaincologneorperfumethatyoualwaysloved.When weexperiencethesenseofhearintherelationshipwhenwespeakofourday.It'snotjusttohear themtalkit'stheemotionthatisinvolvedandthewaytheysaidLastly,therearemanywaysyou canincorporatethefivesenseswithoutyouevenknowingit.
Weallhaveourowndefinitionofloveandtherearemanywordsouttheretodescribelove.Loveis veryimportantandwithoutitwebecome
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LovePoems
Havethelovepoems,youhavereadgivenyouabetterinsightintotheemotionoflove?
Thesubjectof'LovePoetry'hasgivenrisetosomeofthemostbeautifulandfascinatingpoetryThe poetsillustratetheirfeelings,orthefeelingsofthepeopleconcernedwiththemthroughtheuseof figurativelanguage.Alovepoemisnotnecessarilyapoemaboutromanticlove,aboutromance, marriageandcommitment;itcouldbesomethingelseentirelyItseemstobeUniversalTimeless Yet,it'salsoveryindividual,filteredbyourownlivesandexpectations.Lovecanbeadifferent thingforeachoneofus.Notalllovepoemsdealwithhappypositivesidesoflovebutthereisalso thenegativesidessuchaspain,showmorecontent 'donotgrieve',shedoesnotwantherlovertofeelthatherloveispossessive,shedoesnotwanthim tofeelguiltyShewantshimtocherishgoodtimesthattheyhad,'forgetandsmile'
Thetonethroughoutismelancholyandemotionalasthepoettalksaboutherapproachingdeath.The sonnetformissuitablyusedbecausethepoetistellingherhusbandonhowdeathwilltakeover theirlove.Sheacceptsdeathinaphilosophicalmanner.Althoughsheisphysicallydeadshewants toberemembered
ChristinaRossettishowsushowdeathcanbringablissfulrelationshiptoanend,butshealsoshows thatlovecanexistevenafterdeathifithaswithstoodthetestoftimeSherepeatsthetitle 'remember'throughoutthepoemasatechniquetoemphasizethatshereallywantstobe remembered.PoetRossettiwantstoberememberedbyherloveevenif'darknessandcorruption leave'.Yetherloveisunselfish.
HereapoembyChristinaRossetti's,'ABirthday',isacontrastto 'Remember'.ThroughoutthispoemRossettiexpresseshappycontentedfeelings,throughher beautifuluseofimagery.Natureimageryisusedinthefirsthalfofthepoem,'heartislikeasinging bird', 'heartislikearainb
Thetitle'ABirthday'isnotrepresentedwithloveatall,butaswereadthepoem,wecometoknow that'ABirthday'isnewlife,becausesheisinlove.Weseehowlovemakesapersonradiantand blissful
BeforeIbegin,lovehasasubstantialmeaningtomeliketheGoldenRule.Asayoungadult,Ithrive tochangethewordlove.Ineverycentury,thewordloveisfrequentlyoverusedanditisprosaic. Overtheyears,Ifinallyunderstoodthatthereisnoeminentwordtosubstitutelove.Trustme,Ihad constantlysearchedacrossoverseasonvoyageswithyourdaddy.Thewordloveistheonlyformof vocalexpressionthatIcanassureyoumyaffectiontowardsyouThewordlovebringsme happinessintomyenvironment.Happinessmakesmefeelsatisfied,contentment,delighted,amused, bliss,andthrilled.Consequently,Ienjoyexpressingmylovetosocietybecausepeopletendget blessfortheamountgoodnessyouhavedoneInadvance,Ishowmorecontent
IwascrazyenoughtoinvolvePedroinmydestiny.Overall,theconceptofit,justfeltright,I thoroughlythoughtaboutourrelationshipforthefuture.Icametoarealization,ifIeverwantedour relationshiptobeacommittedrelationship.Itwouldbebest,ifwebothmatureup,continueour bondasfriends.Hopefullyoneday,Pedrowouldsweptmeoffmyfeet.
Onegreatadvice,IcangivetoyouiswaitforyourtruelovetoapproachyouThesignificanceof thepersonapproachingyou,justjustifiesthatthepersonisseriousaboutyouandthereisa possibilityforacommittedrelationship.Icertainlydid,however,inmyjunioryear,Iidentified Pedroasmyfriendandnothingelse.Mydreamswerestillpresent,butIpreferredatthetimehis friendshipoveraromanticone.
Throughoutthattime,Isetmymindtoworkonmyself:spirituallyandmentallywiseIachievedto bepatience,andbeanrobustperson,bygainingtheseskills,itgavemecontentmentwithinmy innersoul.Overall,thistaughtmevaluablemoralsandnormsdirectlyfromeveryobstacleI stumbleduponSuchasunderstandinghowtobepatienceaboutfinishingabook,orlearningabout myself–care.
Assenioryearentered,Iwasacompassionateanddeterminedwomanformyeducation.Iseekfor nomaninmylife,onlymyeducation.Learninggavemesatisfaction,itnurturedmymind development.Iwasfascinatedbyalltheinterestingfactswithin
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Loveandrelationships
Loveisasignificantaspectinpeople'slivesthatrequirescommitmentandattention.Despitethe manyassumptionsonlove,itisimportanttounderstandthathappinessinlovecomesfromsharing notonlythegoodbutalsothebad.Inordertohaveasuccessfulrelationship,thereisneedto understandthatloverequiressacrificesaswellasendeavoringtocultivateloveformutualbenefitIf trueloveexistedintheworld,therewouldbenoneedfordivorce.
Everyonewhodesirestohaveafamilynormallydreamstohaveahappyrelationshipthatisfounded onloveThisloveinturnbreedsoptimismandfondnessforeachotherwhichcanbeenviousto many.Therefore,loveissignificantaspectineveryhumanbeingthatdemandsalotofcommitment andattention.However,foranyrelationshiptowork,itrequiresmorethanjustfeelingsofcloseness andpromisestolivetogetherwithoneanotherwithacommitmenttoidealsofarelationship.Itis alsogoodtonotethatinordertoformatrustingandpositiverelationshipthatischaracterizedby lovetakeseffortandtimeWhenthepartnersareabletodifferentiatefactsfromtheirfeelings,they areabletoseetheirpartnersinamoreclearwayandnotthroughfiltersofweaknessestheyhave againsttheirpartners.
Ontheotherhand,therearemanyargumentsthatdisputetheexistenceofloveandonlytermthe relationshipbetweenpartnersasbasedonmutualinterests.Manysupportersofthis
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Self–Love
Ibelieveoneofthegreatestbreakthroughsinconsciousnessoccurswhenthepersonyouloveno longerlovesyouanddecidestoendtherelationshipwithyouforgood.Youaresousedtoloving thatpersonthatwhenyouenterthatnewchapterinyourlifealone,italmostseemsasifloveislost. YoustarttowonderifitisevenworthlovinganyoneelseAsweallknow,loveisessentialtoone's well–being,butwhocanwetrulylovethatwouldn'tstoplovingusback?Theanswer:loving yourself.Ibelieveself–loveisthemostimportanttypeofloveanybodycanhave.Itispossiblefor everyone,butjustlikeanythingthatisworthachieving,itrequireshard–work
Ineverknewtheimportanceofself–loveuntilitwastheonlychoiceIhad.Itwasonthedayof April11th,2016,thatmy6–yearrelationshiphadended.ThewomanIhadlovedwithallmyheart leftmeinanemptyapartmentalongwithallthebills.Atthetime,Ifeltbrokenandworthless.There Iwassittingonthekitchenfloorsmokingacigarette,replayingtheheartbreakingeventincessantly inmyhead.Miraculously,thatsamenightIhadanepiphany.Ihadrealizedthatoverthecourseof6 years,Iwasconditionedtolovesomeonemorethanmyself.Thetearsstoppedrunningdownmy faceasasmileemerged.Iwasnolongerinshackles.Iwasfreed.Freedomhadarrived,andIhad feltlikeitwas
Remular2
timetomakeachangeForthefirsttimeinoverhalfadecade,ItrustedmyintuitionSuddenlyI knewwhathadtobedoneinordertoshiftoutoftheco–dependentanddepressingparadigms.
Itookthefirststepinmovingoutoftheapartment.Iwasfortunateenoughtomovebackinwithmy parentswhoembracedmyreturnwithopenarms.Aftersubmittingmy2–weeknotice,Ifoundanew jobtostartfreshThelocationofmynewemployerwasconvenientlyclosetomyparents'housefar awayfromthejobandapartmentIhadpreviouslyleftbehind.Quitehonestly,itwasratherdifficult assimilatingtothenewenvironmentswhileadjustingtothenewlifestyleIhadsetinmotion.
Unfortunately,thepainwasstillthereItwasonlythebeginningofmy
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Love!NotForEveryone
Poetsandphilosophersforcenturieshavebeentryingtoanswerthequestion,whatislove?Lovehas aninfinitenumberofdefinitions,whichvaryfromonepersontoanother.Lovecannotbemeasured byanyphysicalmeansOnemayneverknowwhattrueloveisuntilloveit–selfhasbeen experienced.Whatislove?Afourletterwordthatcausesapersontobehaveinawaythatisoutof character.Whatislove?Afirstkiss,childhoodcrushesonateacherorfriend'smom.Whatislove?
Achoicethatpeoplemakebyputtingtheirpartner'swishes,desiresandneedsaboveeverything else.Whatislove?Theactofforgiveness,theinfatuationwithsomeone,thecommunication betweentwopeople.Whatislove?Ashowmorecontent
Thespeakerlovesherhusbandsomuchthatsheiswillingtomeethimnomatterwhatthedistance betweenthemmightbe.Loveistheconstantcareandaffectionthatisneededtoflourishandbloom intogreatbeauty
Loveisthecommitmentthattwopeopleshare.JaroldRamsey'spoem"TheTallyStick"isagreat exampleofthecommitmentthattwopeopleshare.Thespeakersays,"Herefromthestart,fromour firstdays,look:/Ihavecarvedourlivesinsecretonthisstick"(1–2).Startingwiththeirmarriage, thefirstnotchis"Nearthebutt,thisintricatenotchwherethegrains/convergeandjoin:itisour wedding"(6–7)ThecoupleusesthestickasasymboloftheirloveforeachotherThestick symbolizeshowcommittedtheyareintheirrelationship.Loveisacommitmentonemakestoput someone'swishes,desiresandneedsaboveall.Whatifthehusbandorwifebecameillorcannot takecareofhimorherselfanymore?OrperhapsthespousegotorderstogotoIraq,ormaybethe spousegotajobofferinanotherstate.Whatwillhappentothelifethatisshared?Doesthespouse giveupandmoveon?No!Thespouse'sloveandcommitmentwillkeepthemtogetherevenifthey arefaraway,ormovingtoanotherstate,orbecomesill.Becauseloveisunconditional,spousescan endureallhardshipsthatcrosstheirpath.Loveisaninfatuationbetweentwopeopleandthedesire tobedesiredTobe
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