PREGNANCY, INFANCY AND EARLY CHILDHOOD
SUMMER 2010 CHILDREN & CHOICES THE MATHS TEACHER IN ALL OF US HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH THE ARRIVAL OF A NEW BABY SURPRISE, IT’S TWINS! STAYING SAFE IN THE SUN THIS SUMMER CHILD PROTECTION
TRAVELLING WITH CHILDREN OUR ESSENTIAL CHILD-FRIENDLY TIPS
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Inside this issue:
Essential Child Summer Issue 2010
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Letters to the Editor.
Out of the mouths of babes.
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We Love... Travelling with kids.
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A passion for community: Coffs administrator wins national award.
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Soap Box: Caesarean is not a dirty word!
Handy Hints.
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Sharing the limelight: helping children cope with the arrival of a new baby.
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It’s bloody twins, isn’t it?!
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Antenatal physiotherapy: making pregnancy more comfortable.
Editor Sarah Rogers Early Childhood Consultant Pauline Pryor Layout & Design Sam Pryor Contributing Writers Tina Agathocli Justine Del-Grande Jodie Smith Advertising enquiries: Sarah Rogers, phone 0410 338 201 ads@essentialchild.com.au Contact: phone 02 6656 2109 fax 02 6656 2131 info@essentialchild.com.au PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 ABN: 47 491 617 953 Essential Child is published four times a year by Essential Child. No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in this magazine. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of the publisher. Content within this magazine is information only and not necessarily the views of the editor. It does not purport to be a substitute for professional health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.
Recipe: traditional shortbread.
10 The maths teacher in all of us. 11 Children & choices.
Editor’s letter. M
erry Christmas from everyone at Essential Child! This truly is my favourite time of year (perhaps I say that every issue – but this time, I really mean it!). As school finishes for the year, I can’t wait for the family holidays and celebrations that are just around the corner. Of course, as most parents know, the events we look forward to can also bring with them a level of tension in the family, with Mum and Dad forced to play the roles of entertainer, referee, cook, housekeeper and tour guide all at once! With this in mind, we wanted to bring you some useful advice to help you survive the festive season. I’ve researched some tips for travelling with your children, whether you’re taking a road trip to Byron Bay or long-hauling it to Europe for a White Christmas. And Pauline gives you some advice for offering children choices to help avoid those mountains that sometimes escalate from molehills. For anyone who is expecting their second, third or even fourth baby in the coming months (an intense event at any time of the year!) Pauline also brings you a must-read article on preparing older children for the changes in your household and family relationships. I hope you’re able to take some time for yourself this Christmas, to relax and pat yourself on the back for getting through another year. Go on – take an hour to read the fantastic news, articles and real-life stories in this, the summer issue of Essential Child! Oh and while you’re running around buying gifts, shopping for Christmas lunch and planning your school holiday activities, please remember to support all those wonderful businesses who advertise with Essential Child and make all this possible. Have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. We’ll see you in 2011! Sarah and the Essential Child team!
Book review: Mirror By Jeannie Baker.
12 Staying safe in the sun this summer. 13 Keeping children safe from sexual abuse. essential child
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Letters to the editor. Out of the letters@essentialchild.com.au
Next issue’s featured letter will win a copy of “Let’s Party: Additive Free” by Melanie Avery. Email us at letters@essentialchild.com.au or snail mail PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450
Featured letter Teachers are teachers. In your Spring edition I read with disbelief your Soap Box story from Robin about the 20% wage difference between early childhood and primary school teachers. It makes no sense that there is such a significant difference. Aren’t they all university trained teachers but with specialisation in different areas? I would have thought that the younger the child, the more responsibility the teacher had, so surely they should be paid more not less. I was so shocked about this that I asked my son’s preschool teacher. To my surprise she confirmed that it was true. She also explained that the huge gap in pay is causing a great divide. The early childhood sector is struggling to find teachers as new graduates tend to make pathways into the school system because wages are so much better. Then last week I was helping at my daughter’s primary school for their annual fete. In their staff room sitting in the middle of the staffroom table was a magazine called Bedrock. It is a teacher’s magazine. On the front cover it said, “Teachers are teachers. Fund equal pay for early childhood teachers.” Normally I would not have noticed, but this made me sit up and pay attention! I found out that there is a campaign being launched which aims for pay parity for early childhood teachers with their counterparts in primary schools. Early Childhood teachers deserve recognition and respect for the amazing work that they do to support our children in their early years. I urge all parents to talk to their preschool teachers and see how they can help to raise awareness of this campaign. Let’s show them how much we value their important role in educating and caring for our children. Sue, Nambucca We agree Sue! A copy of Sue Dengate’s book “FedUp” is on its way to you.
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Superheroes not required. Recently our preschool sent home a flyer asking us parents to support them in providing a “no Ben 10” zone (in fact a no brand name zone) which prompted me to write and share our opinion. My children are 7, 6 and 3. They have never watched a Ben 10 cartoon, they have never seen a television commercial. I am constantly informed by other people that our children are clever, socially adjusted and just plain lovable. The lack of television certainly does not seem to handicap them. We spent 8 months sailing on a boat with 2 of them, a few years ago, with no television at all in that time and it was an eye opener to how much better everyone got along. Now our children watch TV about once a fortnight, then it is a DVD watched after a dinner party where they have eaten well and behaved well, as a reward. They are blissfully unaware that TV exists at any other time. I have directly observed with my own children that watching television makes them irritable, fight more and have poor concentration. There has also been significant research gone into the negative effects of television on children’s attention and school performance. Young people under the age of 24 are in an incredible brain growth and development phase and we need to think carefully about what is loaded into their brains at this time. I challenge other families to try a month with no TV for the kids. You will be surprised at how many craft items they can make (and that’s just before 7am!), how their imagination develops and how the fighting subsides. You will also discover shopping expeditions are less expensive and less stressful. Nicola, Coffs Harbour
mouths of babes.
I recently said to my three-year-old, “Come on Anthony, let’s get ready to go to the supermarket”, to which he replied, “Oh Mummy, I don’t think I’ve got time for that today.” Effie, Sydney. Effie wins a set of Crayola Jumbo Crayons. The other night I said to my two-yearold son, “I’ll run you a bath.” My darling retorted back “No Mum, walk not run. I will hurt myself.” Melissa, Coffs Harbour After a particularly bad day I told my three-year-old that I wasn’t cooking dinner and asked him if he wanted a Happy Meal. He replied, “No, but you need a Happy Meal, Mummy”. Misty, Coffs Harbour
Accreditation assistance. Congratulations and thanks to Essential Child for providing excellent and encouraging information for families and Early Childhood Educators in our community. Parents who use our centre have told me that browsing your magazine brings enjoyment and inspiration in the often challenging job of raising children. During our recent Accreditation visit your magazine provided a large amount of the documentation we needed for Indicator 1.2.33 Families are provided with current information on positive behaviour guidance (great articles provided in Essential Child including Louise Porter) and also 5.1.13 The Centre provides families with a wide range of information on child protection issues Thank you so much for helping us in this regard. Hazel Parker, Family Link Centre One of our aims is to help services meet their obligations to provide information for families. So glad we could help, Hazel! SJR
Playsilks winner! Thanks to everyone who entered our Playsilks competition. You came up with some fantastic ideas for using the Playsilks including as props when reading stories or singing rhymes, for dancing, throwing and catching, jumping over, playing tag, fishing or superheroes; as dolly blankets, baby slings, grassy hills, deep oceans, cubby houses, head scarves, belts and butterfly wings; for wrapping presents and for writing letters in the air; and most importantly of all, for the myriad of uses that children will invent that we as adults could never think of. Congratulations Sonia Thacker from Sonie’s Family Day Care, we hope your 11 little cherubs enjoy them.
We love... H
onestly! I do love travelling with my daughter! Admittedly it was somewhat easier on long-haul flights when she was breastfeeding. It takes a lot more than a boob and a bassinet to keep her entertained now that she’s two. But it’s still a lot of fun. We’re taking her to the UK for Christmas this year, so I’ve been researching ideas for on-flight entertainment. I also came up with some of my own on a recent trip to Sydney. So whether you’re travelling by plane, train or car, I hope these tips will come in handy these Christmas holidays.
In the lead-up: • Start talking about your holiday and how you’re getting there. You might like to borrow some library books about holidays, planes and airports, trains etc. • Give your child a special bag that they can fill with their favourite toys and books to take with them. For flying, this would ideally be a bag they can carry onboard. Even a pillow slip would do the trick. • For a long flight, start stashing away some new things to surprise them with when boredom starts to set in.
Great party food tips! Thanks to everyone who entered our birthday party competition. Janelle from Forster and Kathy and Dan from Coffs Harbour each win a copy of ‘Let’s Party: Additive Free’ by Melanie Avery for the following tips. Offer brightly coloured real food - carrots, strawberries, capsicum, celery, watermelon etc in bite sized pieces, on a lovely white plate and lead by example -start eating! Janelle, Forster Healthy party favors could include a box of dried fruit, arrowroot, pretzel, a small ball of home-made play dough and a cookie cutter. For a budget party favor, give each child guest a helium filled balloon and a piece of birthday cake to take home. The balloons can double as decorations during the party. Kathy and Dan, Coffs Harbour
While travelling: • The change in cabin pressure when taking off and landing in a plane can hurt children’s ears. For babies, breastfeeding works a treat but for toddlers, try a fruit or yoghurt ‘squeezy’ pouch (like Rafferty’s) to suck on to help their ears pop. For older children, sucking on a boiled lolly can also work, but may be a choking hazard. • During a long car or train journey, a simple game can pass the time. When ‘I-spy’ becomes tedious, see who can spot the most windmills or kangaroos. • Pencils and paper are an absolute must during any journey with children. And a fun alternative is a mini magnetic drawer (I found one at Target for $10, called Doodle-Pro). • For a long flight, reusable stickers are an excellent time-waster. • One website I found suggested pipe cleaners and blue masking tape are endlessly fascinating for toddlers on planes. I haven’t tried this yet, but intend to! My husband also suggested post-it notes would be very
entertaining. • Purchase some children’s headphones before your flight if your child is not likely to wear the earplugs that airlines provide. You can find noise-limited ones that protect children’s ears. • Portable devices like DVD players, iPhones and iPads can provide your child’s favourite music, stories, TV or movies, but consider how long the battery life is. • Take lots of your child’s favourite snacks. Some treats might be ok, but avoid things that are full of sugar and flavourings or you may end up with a hyped-up travelling companion. • Keep your expectations reasonable. Remember that it can be hard for children to sit for long periods. Tell them you understand and ask how you can help. • Most of all, look after yourself. If you can remain comfortable and calm and well-nourished you are more likely to be able to care for your child’s needs. [SJR]
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A passion for community:
Coffs administrator wins national award. S
abine Benz from Possums’ Den Preschool in Coffs Harbour has recently been awarded the title of Administrator of the Year at a gala event in Sydney for the first ever FABO (Front And Back Office) awards for Australia’s nonprofit organisations. Essential Child caught up with Sabine to chat about the extraordinary life journey that led to this exciting accolade.
What prompted you to volunteer for the committee? I went to my first meeting because I thought that was expected. I had moved here from Germany just a few years before and I didn’t know what happens in preschools in Australia. I had my son enrolled, and I wanted to find out more about the preschool. At first, all the information really was going over my head. I wasn’t aware of all the responsibilities that the management committee had. And like most people, I took on a position because there were barely enough people at the meeting to fill the positions. Pauline (the Director) and the other parents assured me that they would help me. And they did. What brought you to Australia? I was engaged at the time, and my fiancé had come to Australia to work for a while. I came to visit him in Coffs Harbour. We both liked it and decided to make it our home. We went back to Germany to get married and then returned in January 1986. From then on, one thing led to another. Jochen, my husband, started his own painting business, we built a house and started having children. What was it like for you as a young mother in Coffs Harbour?
Photo by Peter Sechi, Sechi Photography and Design
Congratulations on your award, Sabine. Do you have any secrets for success? No, not really. I think you just need to be organised, develop systems that work for you and the organisation, keep up-to-date with everything and keep a close watch on the finances. This award is not just for me. The whole team at Possums’ Den has worked hard to build the preschool into a highly respected and financially viable centre – that doesn’t happen unless families are happy with the service we provide. The nature of communitybased organisations encourages everyone involved to feel ownership and work towards making the centre a good place for staff as well as children and families. How long have you worked at Possums’ Den? I’ve been the administrator for 17 years, and before that I was on the management committee for three years.
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We were still building when I was pregnant with our first child. My English wasn’t as good as it is now and I was intimidated going to the gynaecologist. I always took a dictionary with me so I could know what he was saying. I missed my Mum and other family a lot. I had one friend here from Switzerland and through building the house I got to know an Australian couple who were Mum and Dad’s age. They became like surrogate parents for me. We moved into our house halfway into my pregnancy. Because there wasn’t much work in Coffs at the time, Jochen went to work in Sydney. We only had one car, and he had to take the car with him so I had to walk everywhere. I remember being pregnant and walking to Woolworths from the end of Combine St. Before the baby was born, we managed to buy another car. Jochen would sometimes come home for weekends. He’d work all day and then drive through the night to get here. That went on until our first child was about two years old.
Sabine accepting her FABO Award
My neighbour had young children and she knew I was lonely, so she would invite me over for coffee or dinners. I believe you were actively involved at your children’s schools. I did reading at Narranga. I didn’t want to do it and I said I couldn’t do it with my accent. But the Kinder teacher encouraged me so I went along. That led to doing canteen, helping on excursions and special events like fetes. So when the children went to Coffs Harbour High School, I continued on at the canteen. Daniel and Nicole were proud of me being involved and wanted me there. I started off on the canteen committee and ended up being P&C president for three years. What was really nice was that I felt valued by the community. I think that’s when you feel like you’re part of the community and I really believe my involvement had a positive effect on my children’s education. When my children went to school I tried to extend my English by, for instance, doing their grammar homework with them. I always made sure I looked up words so I knew what they meant and could use the word properly. I’m now qualified to do interpreting. Becoming involved in the preschool gave me the confidence to do other things. I think it was important for my children that I showed an interest and that I was positive about the centre and the schools. Is there anything else you would like to add? None of this would have happened without Pauline. She always supports people to get better. She has been involved in a lot of decisions about my children, like whether or not my son should go to his first school social. I had no idea what a school social was!
Soap box.
Caesarean is not a dirty word! I
recently found myself offended by negative comments made about elective caesareans. I don’t usually take offence to ignorance but this time around it struck a nerve and I felt compelled to pen a response in support of those, like me, who have gone down the path of elective surgery.
There is no wrong or right, just informed choices. I should note that my decision was not about my reluctance to push. Neither was it about fitting into my obstetrician’s golfing plans. In fact, up until around 37 weeks, I had every intention and hope for a natural delivery. I’d put together a birth plan and I felt very informed and in charge of my body. However, with my ‘good-sized’ baby not yet engaged and sitting rather high in my uterus, I was advised to prepare for the chance that my delivery may end up being a caesarean. By week 39, it was more apparent and I was given three options: one, wait until my due date, with the unlikely chance that I may go into labour naturally; two, go past my due date and be induced, which may then result in a distressed baby and an emergency caesarean should my labour
not progress normally; or three, an elective caesarean one day past my due date. After a long few days of thought and discussion with my husband and family I opted for the elective caesarean. I trusted that my obstetrician , who had been with me throughout the course of my pregnancy, had the expertise to guide me through the best scenario for a safe and healthy outcome for me and my child. This is exactly what we got and I couldn’t have been happier with my son’s delivery. So, why is a woman deemed a failure, when her idea of the best outcome is for a healthy mother and child? Last time I checked there were no gold stars issued for those that push and those that don’t. There is no wrong or right, just informed choices. Next time the urge arises to judge those who have taken a different path to the one you may have experienced or hope for, spare a thought for those who would give anything just to be 40 weeks pregnant and in a position to be weighing up the various birthing options. If you’ve walked in their shoes then you’ll know that at the end of the day, we all just want to hold our precious miracles in our arms for the first time and know that they are healthy and happy. Justine Del-Grande
Handy hints. An inexpensive way to add detail to a child’s wall is with paper wall art. Simply cut a silhouette out of scrapbooking paper, something with wings works best such as a butterfly, plane or bird. Use blue tack to secure the silhouettes to the wall and bend the wings to create a 3 dimensional effect. The silhouettes can be made stronger by reinforcing with cardboard. You Tube have a great catalogue of children’s stories read aloud, often with animations from the actual book. Favourites of ours are Owl babies (http://www. youtube.com/watch?v=sJe0WupukAw) and Goodnight Moon (http://www. youtube.com/watch?v=3F97is-K4n8) or just search for your favourite children’s book or author. Charity shops are a great source for children’s dress up clothes! You can buy hats, bags, shoes, scarves and sunglasses and you will also be helping a good cause. The website www.taste.com. au has over 3000 recipes for children. Just search the website for “Kid Friendly Collection”. From main meals to party food ideas, there is something for everyone, even the fussiest of eaters. To keep refrigerated medicine out of reach of children, use a lockable cd storage container in the fridge. Australia Post sell great value book packs throughout the year by authors such as Mem Fox, Pamela Allen, Graheme Base and Dr Seuss. Jodie Smith
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Sharing the limelight.
Helping children cope with the arrival of a new baby.
T
he arrival of a new baby can be one of the most stressful times in a young child’s life, especially if the child is two or under. When a child has been accustomed to having the limelight all to himself, he is going to find it a shock to the system to have to share the attention of the adults around him. Try to imagine how you’d feel if your partner brought home a new woman or man to share in your life! It’s a similar feeling for children when a sibling is born. Toddlers have not yet formed a strong inner sense of security, so when they suddenly have less of your time and attention, they can have feelings of loss and anxiety. Even for older children, feelings may arise that there must be something wrong with them or that they have been too naughty (why else would Mum and Dad need to get another child?). Since children show their feelings through their behaviour, it is not unusual for some problems to emerge around the birth of a new baby.
There are many things parents can do to help. Before the baby arrives • Don’t tell a young child too soon about the new baby. Toddlers especially don’t understand how long an hour, a week or a month really is,
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lead up to the arrival of a baby. There are plenty available in bookshops and libraries. • Some children, both boys and girls, enjoy having a doll as their ‘baby’ and making the same sort of preparations as you do for the real baby. • Avoid changing your toddler from a cot to a bed too close to the birth. If you make this change well in advance she will see it as something special for her, rather than your taking something from her for the baby. • Don’t try to toilet train a toddler around the time of the birth unless your toddler makes it very clear that he wants to do this. When the baby arrives he may wonder why he has to use the potty or toilet when you are quite happy for the baby to poo in its nappy.
let alone six months. Tell them later in the pregnancy when they can see what is happening.
• Try to keep your child’s routine as stable as possible. Don’t for instance start childcare for your toddler or preschooler just before or just after the birth. The child may feel that you are pushing her away because of the baby.
• Once the announcement has been made, involve children in planning for the baby’s arrival. They may like to help to choose baby clothes, and decide which toys and items of furniture they have outgrown and can help to get ready for the baby to use.
• Prepare older children in advance for the changes a new baby brings, but do not tell them that their new brother or sister will be a playmate for them. They will soon realise that babies don’t play cricket, and coochie-cooing at a baby is not their idea of fun!
• Read books with the child about the
• Plan ahead for mother’s stay in
hospital. Children will manage best if they can stay in their own home with people they know well. If they have to go to a different place, or be cared for by an unfamiliar person, help them to gradually get used to the new situation or person well before the event. When mother is in hospital • Allow your child to visit Mum as much as possible. Even if they cry when leaving it is better for them to know where Mum is. • Make him feel special during visits by spending time with him rather than nursing the baby all of the time. • Plan to have a postcard from Mum arrive in the post. • Ask your child to mind something such as keys for Mum while she is away. • Give children a photo of Mum to keep close. • Sometimes a present from the baby to big brother or sister helps. Children may also like to choose a gift for the baby. When the new baby comes home • Expect some change in behaviour, especially from toddlers, no matter how much preparation you have done. When reality hits it can take some time to get used to, especially if the baby seems to be getting more of your time and better treatment. • Your child may go back to younger behaviour for a while, such as wanting a bottle, wanting you to dress him, going backwards in toilet training or reverting to ‘baby-talk’. Let this happen without getting cross and don’t worry that it will lead to bad habits - it’s just a child’s way of working through difficult feelings and will usually resolve itself in time. • You may find some misbehaviour or
other signs of stress such as tantrums, especially when you are feeding the baby. Children need to know that you understand these feelings. You could say something like, “I know you feel cross when I’m feeding the baby and you want to play. I would like to play with you too. Can you find a book and we’ll read it together?”
A new baby will make a big impact on your child’s life. • Arrange special activities for the older child that you keep for feeding times, such as a doll to ‘feed’, something special to watch on TV, a book to read, or tell her a story about what you did with her when she was a baby. • Read stories about new babies that show the older child feeling both happy and sad about the new baby. • Show your child how to touch the baby gently, but always be there to make sure the baby is safe. • Let the child know that hurting the baby is not allowed. If he hits the baby, move him away, hold him gently, soothe him and explain firmly “I know you are feeling cross, but we don’t hit. Hitting hurts the baby”. Remind yourself that these feelings are normal – you don’t need to punish the child, just help him to feel better. Don’t let your child hit you either. This is very scary for children and you need to teach them that hitting is not the way to show angry feelings. Help him
to find a soothing activity such as a cuddle, a favourite toy, or reading a book together. • Try to make a special time for your other child every day, no matter how small. Take advantage of other people’s offers to hold or change the baby and use the time to show the older one that you enjoy being with him. • Encourage friends and family to greet the older child first, and make a fuss of her, before giving attention to the baby. They could even ask her if it’s OK if they look at the baby, or ask the child to show them her brother or sister. • Some people find that a little gift for the older child as well as a baby gift helps a lot. • Explain to children that you will still look after them even though there is another baby. Avoid allowing older children feel too responsible for the baby’s welfare – it’s not their job. Look after yourself too, so that older children see that they don’t have to take on that job for you. If the dinner’s late, the dishes not washed, the baby’s crying and you’re having a meltdown, they need to know that you (or your partner) will be able to fix things in time, and everything will be all right.
Remember • A new baby will make a big impact on your child’s life. • Young children learn to feel secure and loved from actions such as hugs, loving touches and smiles, and most of all from your spending time with them. [PJP] Sources: Parenting SA (2003) Second Baby www.parenting.sa.gov.au Louise Porter (2006) Children are People Too, Small Poppies, SA
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essential child
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It’s bloody twins, isn’t it?! T
he radiographer began with “I don’t mean to alarm you but......” Not words you want to hear from a radiographer, doctor or the beautician carrying out your bikini wax. A few months earlier my husband and I had decided it was the right time to try for another baby. We’d recently moved to Queensland from Sydney, were looking at buying a house and our daughter was not far off her second birthday, so it felt right. With many of my friends experiencing problems trying for their second babies, we figured it could take a few months so weren’t expecting anything to happen for a while. How wrong we were. Merely weeks later, we were celebrating. All was well and baby number two was on the way. When I was six weeks pregnant, though, I started bleeding. It was scary times and having seen numerous friends go through miscarriages, I prepared myself for the worst. That’s how I found myself at an early ultrasound, hearing those words no expectant mother wants to hear: “I don’t mean to alarm you, but...” The radiographer then continued to tell me she could see two sacs. I was certain I’d misheard but no, she confirmed there were two babies in there, both with
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strong heartbeats. I was both stunned and speechless. I took myself home in a blur and my husband was waiting with baited breath. He must’ve noticed my ‘rabbit caught in the headlights’ expression and somehow guessed. “It’s bloody twins, isn’t it?!!” After regaining his ability to speak sometime later, he simply asked, “What are we going to do?” It was a question I had no answer to at that stage. Luckily the bleeding eventually stopped and our hopes increased. When I reached thirteen weeks, we went along for our second ultrasound, and to our joy, we were told the babies were both healthy and strong. They had their own sacs with separate placentas, meaning they are fraternal (nonidentical) which has less associated risks. Our two little jumping beans – amazing! I’m halfway to the finish now. In comparison to a singleton pregnancy, I’m feeling the babies move much more than my daughter did, which I guess is obvious as there are two. I started experiencing terrible heartburn and indigestion in week 15, something I avoided until around week 30 with my first pregnancy. Also I seem to be more exhausted, although I suspect this has more to do with having a toddler, working and generally trying to live up to superwoman’s expectations.
Ph: 6652 7819 ‘The Cottage’ 2 Peterson Rd, Coffs Harbour Email: admin@coffsfdc.org.au www.coffsfdc.org.au
Weight-wise, I thought I was going OK until I asked the nurse how much I should be putting on and she said 1.5-2 kilos a month. Oh dear - I had put on 2 kilos in a week. I can see how this is going to end up. I have a few months left to figure out the details, such as how I’m going to breastfeed two babies. Will my daughter have out grown the tantrums? How will she cope with two new additions? If I buy an industrial-sized stroller, how on earth will I get it into the car? Not to mention, is our car big enough for five of us plus the mammoth stroller I am about to invest a month’s wages on? You get the picture. It’s certainly interesting times ahead and although I know it will be hard work, we both can’t wait to meet our two new little people. Tina Agathocli
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Antenatal physiotherapy.
Recipe
Traditional shortbread.
Making pregnancy more comfortable.
M
any changes occur to your body during pregnancy. As your baby grows, more strain is put on your tummy muscles, your pelvic floor, and your spine and pelvis. The release of the hormone, relaxin, softens ligaments in preparation for childbirth, which may make your joints more unstable. This hormone is released as early as 10 weeks after conception, and continues to be released throughout the rest of the pregnancy.
Many women are unsure what is safe for them, their bodies and their baby.
The weight of the growing baby and the effects of relaxin can contribute to pregnancy related low back pain and pelvic girdle pain. Up to 50% of women experience some form of low back pain or pelvic girdle pain during their pregnancy. For some women, this pain can be quite debilitating and may affect their activities of daily living, and their ability to care for themselves and often other children. Specific physiotherapy techniques, gentle stretches, strengthening exercises, and sometimes the use of a support brace, can help to relieve these symptoms and make the rest of the pregnancy more comfortable. Also, gentle exercise during pregnancy, and strengthening the “core” muscles that support the spine and pelvis can help to prevent pregnancy related low back pain and pelvic girdle pain. Pregnancy and childbirth is a unique time in a woman’s life, filled with many special moments, and a few ups and
downs. Many women want to stay fit and healthy during pregnancy, or regain their strength following childbirth, but are unsure what is safe for them, their bodies and their baby. Pregnancy Pilates and Exercise Classes, at Pregnancy and Beyond Physiotherapy, are designed by physiotherapist, Meagan Kelly, specifically for the pregnant woman. The classes are safe and fun, and offer ways to strengthen your body, while taking care of you and your baby. Postnatal Pilates and Mums and Bubs classes are also starting soon. These classes take into consideration the changes that have occurred to your body since pregnancy and childbirth, and combine advice and education with gentle pilates based strengthening exercises. Pregnancy and Beyond Physiotherapy is a physiotherapy service dedicated to the physical health and wellbeing of women during and after pregnancy. This service is based at Coffs Harbour Womens Health Centre, 74 Victoria St, Coffs Harbour. Physiotherapist, Meagan Kelly, has a special interest in Women’s Health. She has recently completed postgraduate studies at the University of Melbourne in the area of Exercise for Women. She is mum to Clare, 4, and Sean, 2. Mention Essential Child and your first class is free!
2 1/4 cups of plain flour 1 tbsp cornflour 250g butter or margarine 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 1/3 cup caster sugar extra caster sugar for sprinkling 1. Sift flour and cornflour into a bowl and set aside. Place butter or margarine in a mixing bowl and beat with an electric mixer until soft. 2. Add vanilla essence and sugar and continue beating until the mixture is light and fluffy. 3. Add the creamed butter mixture to the sifted flours, mixing with a large metal spoon until well blended.
• Pregnancy Pilates & Exercise • Postnatal Pilates (Mums & Bubs) • Pelvic Girdle Pain / Lower Back Pain • TENS for labour • Physio & Ultrasound for Mastitis
Coffs Harbour Women’s Health Centre 74 Victoria St, Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Phone 0437 175 055 E-Mail pregnancyandbeyond@hotmail.com Meagan Kelly Physiotherapist (Uni of Qld)
4. Press mixture into a tin and mark into rectangles (or wedges if using a round tin) with a sharp knife. Prick the top with a fork and sprinkle lightly with caster sugar. Bake at 150 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes (depending on oven) or until it turns a pale straw colour and shortbread is firm to touch. Remove from oven and leave to cool, then cut into pieces and remove from tin. Store in an airtight container.
We’d love to hear your favourite healthy recipies! Send them to us at letters@essentialchild.com.au essential child
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The maths teacher in all of us. (yes, even you!) A
s parents, we are children’s first teachers of mathematics. Regardless of your success or otherwise in maths at school, children learn the basic concepts they need for later numeracy from you in your everyday family activities.
• Filling a cup also helps children think about measurement as we use words such as ‘full’, ‘half a cup’ and ‘empty’. Later they will learn that measuring how much is about capacity, and will use words such as litres or millilitres. • ‘Sharing’ is about division: ‘one for you and one for me’ until nothing is left. Later children will learn what to do if there is a ‘left over’.
Involve your children in everyday family activities and talk about things as you do them.
• Sharing can also be about fractions, such as when we cut a cake or an orange into equal portions, or when we give half of the food to each of two dogs. • When children are lifting and carrying things they will talk about ‘heavy and light’, and ‘big and small’. Later, they will notice that the biggest thing is not always the heaviest, or the smallest thing not always the lightest. Having lots of experiences like this helps children learn about ‘mass’ (how dense something is).
• Measuring cooking ingredients helps to develop concepts of quantity such as ‘how much’, ‘how many’, ‘enough,’ and ‘one more’, as well as ideas about number (e.g. one cup, two cups) and numerals (looking at the recipe, or finding, for example, the ‘300ml’ mark) • Early geometry concepts grow from noticing shapes such as ‘round’, ‘egg-shape’, ‘curved’ and ‘raindrop’. Over time children will use words like ‘triangle’, ‘square’ and circle. • When we do things like unpack the shopping or fold the washing, we sort things as we put them away. Sorting and classifying are important maths concepts. Early on, children sort by what is ‘the same’ and ‘what is different’. Later they may use colour or size as well, or where things belong (in the cupboard or the fridge, for example). • Children learn number names through rhymes like ‘Round and Round the Garden (one step, two step), and ‘1,2,3,4,5, Once I Caught a Fish Alive’, as well as when we count everyday items like shoes and socks, pieces of toast, etc. They learn that there are patterns and an order in the way we say numbers, and that the last number tells them how many. • Understanding what numbers mean comes from meaningful counting. For instance, if four teddies are coming to the party, how many plates do we need? Do we have enough? Too many? This type of play helps children think about the whole group of things, rather than just the last thing they counted. • When we use words such as ‘up’, ‘down’, ‘next to’, ‘over,’ ‘under’ and
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‘upside down’ children learn key ideas about position, order and direction. • Children hear words such as ‘bigger’ or ‘smaller’, ‘taller’ or ‘shorter’, ‘thicker’ or ‘thinner’, ‘higher’ or ‘lower’, ‘heavier’ or ‘lighter’, ‘hotter’ or ‘colder’. They are important for learning about measurement. Later they will use centimetres, kilograms and degrees to measure and compare more accurately, or to find out ‘how much more’.
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So be sure to involve your children in everyday family activities and talk about things as you do them. You will be providing the children with a great foundation to build on at school. Maths is much more than counting to 10! [PJP] Source: Fleer, M. & Raban, B. (2007) Early childhood literacy and numeracy: Building good practice, Commonwealth of Australia.
Book Review
Mirror
Children & choices.
By Jeannie Baker Walker Books, 2010 Ages: 5+
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young father recently told me about an incident with his 22-month-old daughter. The little girl hadn’t eaten much of her dinner, so Dad put some chicken on her fork, coaxing her to eat more. When she refused and angrily grabbed the chicken, Dad could see the chicken about to head for the floor and anticipated their first experience of the ‘terrible twos’. So he quickly changed tack and calmly but firmly offered a choice: “You can eat the chicken or put it on your plate”. After a moment’s consideration the toddler put the chicken on the plate. An unpleasant situation was avoided and mealtime ended happily. This little story illustrates so clearly the value of giving children choices (as well as the futility of pressuring children to eat – but that’s another topic!). If we continually try to impose our will on children, we can expect them to resist, and little issues will escalate into big problems. All children need some autonomy in their lives although this doesn’t mean that they have control over everything they do. As adults it is our role to decide what is reasonable in our family, and provide choices within that. When children have opportunities to make decisions, even the very young ones start to build answers to questions such as: • Who am I? • What makes me distinct from others? • Am I competent? • Is it all right to make mistakes? • To what extent am I independent? • Can I make a difference?
if you are going somewhere special you could offer a choice between two shirts or outfits (rather than the whole wardrobe). But on preschool days you might offer more freedom of choice. If your child chooses to go to preschool in a fairy dress on a cold day, it’s likely that teachers, rather than judging you, will acknowledge the child’s right to choose and celebrate with you your wisdom in avoiding unnecessary morning battles. Besides, some warm clothes in the child’s bag will ensure that you don’t feel like a bad parent, as well as allowing your little one to make a different decision later in the day when reality sets in and she starts to shiver!
T
Shopping trips can be more successful if children are given some choices, such as what snack to take with them or whether to stop for a milkshake before going to the supermarket, or to have it later when shopping’s finished.
The binding of Mirror allows us to open the book from the middle, so we can view the boys’ families mirrored side-by-side. It’s a wordless picture book, with introductions and author’s notes in Arabic and English.
Children are more likely to consider your needs if you explain clearly what is required before giving a choice about how they can respond. For example, if you need the baby to sleep you could explain this to your older child before offering a choice of quiet or outside activities.
As with other Jeannie Baker books, the illustrations are beautifully detailed collages. Baker has gone to painstaking lengths to duplicate the look and feel of the Moroccan desert and the textures of both urban and desert environments. The attention to detail in Baker’s artworks ensures that readers will discover something new each time they read Mirror. Children and adults alike will be fascinated each time they open the pages of this beautiful book.
Some things, of course are not negotiable, when for example health and safety are involved, or when appointments must be met. But when we have shown children respect by allowing them choices at other times, they are more likely to respect our need when there is no choice. When young children have practice in making little decisions they will be better able to make good choices when bigger decisions are needed, like whether to follow peers or think for themselves about appropriate and considerate behaviour.
• What responsibilities do I have towards others?
[PJP]
Small choices can be very powerful. Consider clothing, for instance. Maybe
Sources: NSW Office of Childcare(2001) Curriculum Framework for Children’s Services Louise Porter (2006) Children are people too
his unique and stunning book is another triumph by Australian artist and illustrator Jeannie Baker, creator of Windows and Where the Forest Meets the Sea. Mirror tells the story of two boys from opposite sides of the world, highlighting the similarities and differences in their family life, clothing, mealtimes, shopping and communities as well as the landscapes and environment in which they live. One family lives in a city in Australia, and one lives in Morocco in North Africa.
Baker’s books make beautiful gifts and are the kinds of books that will become a treasured part of any home library. Also ideal as a classroom resource, the detailed nature of the illustrations means that the books are best enjoyed by individuals or small groups, rather than as a class group. Through both content and design, Mirror offers readers both an incredible visual experience and a thoughtful comparison of life in Australia and Morocco. It is a beautiful book with an important message to share. [PJP]
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Keeping children safe from sexual abuse S
adly, sexual abuse of children is common. Children are mostly abused by someone they know – even relatives and family friends. Child sexual abuse happens in all cultures and all kinds of families. Girls and boys of all ages are at risk.
What is Child Sexual Abuse? Child sexual abuse is when an adult or someone older or bigger uses a child for his or her own sexual pleasure. Abusers take advantage of a child’s trust or use their power and authority over the child. Child sexual abuse includes many different activities such as: • Sexual touching of the child or adult • Oral sex, vaginal or anal intercourse • Indecent exposure • Exposing children to sexual acts or pictures • Enticing children into internet ‘chat rooms’
Reassure them that you love them.
Teach your children how to stay safe from sexual abuse just as you talk to them about road, fire, water, and internet safety.
Let them know that they are safe now and you will deal with it all and the abuse won’t happen again.
Touching Even little children know the difference between touching that is ok or not ok. Explain that no-one has the right to touch them in places and ways that make them feel scared or uncomfortable.
Feelings Encourage children to trust their feelings. Talk about feeling safe and unsafe and work together on plans of what to do if they feel unsafe. This should include ways to leave awkward situations, like saying they have to go home now, or need to ask a parent or other adult for permission first.
Grown-ups
How can I keep my child safe?
Knowing & talking about bodies
Know about your children’s daily world:
Encourage children’s natural interest in their bodies. Teach them the correct names of all their body parts. Talking about sexuality can embarrass some parents. Your local child librarian can help find appropriate age level books to discuss with your child. If you can talk comfortably about these matters, it will be easier for your children to tell you their concerns.
• Where they play • Who they play with • What activities they get involved with • How they use the Internet – web sites, chat rooms, emailing, video, CD and DVD use • Who you trust to look after them when you’re not there
Talk and listen to your children It’s important to teach your children they can refuse to do anything with an adult or child that they feel is wrong or frightens them. However, you cannot expect children to say ‘No’. Encourage them to tell you whenever they are worried about what other adults or children want them to do. ALWAYS LISTEN carefully to your child’s fears and concerns. Stop what you are doing and really pay attention.
Reassure your child it is not their fault and they are not in trouble.
Teaching your child sexual safety
Most abusers go to great lengths to win children’s trust. They often target vulnerable children. A normal friendly relationship develops into a sexual one, with the abuser either persuading or coercing the child to cooperate. Then they often use threats that something terrible will happen in order to stop the child telling.
• Where they are
Believe what your child says and listen calmly. Showing your distress may frighten them from telling you.
Tell them how proud you are they told you.
We teach children to respect adults, so it’s hard for them to say ‘no’ without feeling rude. Explain that sometimes adults do things that are not ok and they should tell you if this happens. Don’t expect them to kiss or cuddle other adults, especially ones they don’t know. Make a practice of discussing what your children do when they are with other adults and whether they like these people, just as you ask about their friends. This will alert you early to possible concerns.
How do abusers work?
What if my child has been sexually abused?
Secrets! Many abusers make children keep their abuse a secret- often using threats. Children need to learn the difference between safe and unsafe secrets. Teach them the only ok secrets are those which give someone a nice surprise.
Don’t push for details of the abuse if your child isn’t ready to tell you. Give them time. If the abuser is a close family member, family life will be seriously disrupted. Try to keep normal routines going if possible. Routines help children feel more secure. Even though you may feel very anxious about your child’s safety, try to maintain their usual activities. Think carefully about who to tell about your child’s abuse and when, and talk to your child about this. Other people knowing can make the situation more distressing. Explain the difference between privacy and secrecy to avoid your child feeling ashamed. IMPORTANT. Get help and support for yourself. You may feel betrayed, angry, or failing as a parent. You need support from friends and family and often need professional counselling advice to keep going. Remember, child sexual abuse is rarely a parent’s fault. Abusers are clever manipulators of parents as well as children... Important: Sexual abuse is a CRIME! If you suspect someone is abusing your child or others, you must tell the appropriate authorities to put a stop to abuse.
For more parenting information and support call Parentline NSW 1300-1300-52 or 1800-654-432 (Freecall STD) Kids Helpline 1800-55-1800 is a free 24 hour telephone couselling service.
Who can they trust? Work out with your child which key people they can trust to ask for help if they are frightened and you aren’t there. Does your child’s school have a protective behaviours program?
NAPCAN is an independent charity and the leading advocacy body for prevention of child abuse and neglect.
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