Essential Grace Magazine December 2022

ecember is here!

The year 2022 has been eventful in both good and bad ways, and while some are looking forward to a fresh start in the new year, others are dreading more hardships to come.

There has been an increasing need around the world for mental health care. More and more people are struggling with anxiety, depression, hopelessness, and suicide. The times we are living in do not make it easy to cope for those already living with mental illness either.

The festive season can help to alleviate some of the doom and gloom of life, only temporarily. As soon as the festive lights come down, the parties and religious events are over, life has to go on. This is usually the time many people struggle the most.

Let’s remember to look after our mental health regardless of the time of year. Our wellbeing is our strongest asset, it should be guarded and invested in with diligence. It is our responsibility to ensure our wellbeing before we can focus on that of others.

We have included contact details of several mental health practitioners that can help you in different capacities within Malawi. There are so many more out there that we hope to include as we get to know them.

Want to get in touch? You may do so through our social media pages or directly to the editor through essentialgrace@zoho.com Merry Christmas and a very healthy, happy new year!

Julie Soko ManagingEditor

Remember to check on people this festive

season…

Some are living with a mental illness that prevents them from truly experiencing joy or having a good time in the festive season.

Some are experiencing grief from the loss of loved ones, divorce, or separation from family. Memories of loss are usually amplified during this time of year.

Some are deeply isolated and lonely, yet they keep their feelings to themselves out of pride, embarrassment, or simply not wanting to bring other people’s festive mood down.

December can be a difficult time, but you don’t have to struggle in silence. You are not alone.

Should you need to speak to a mental health professional, please use the information in this magazine to find one in your area.

Mental Health Professionals in Northern Malawi

St John of God Hospitaller Services

01311690 / 01311495

John Banda (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Moyale Barrakcs 0994 434 012 johnalickbanda05@gmail.com

Precious Chipeta (Psychosocial Counsellor) 0886 687 857 kanyakulapreciouschipeta@gmail.com

Buxton Shaba (Psychosocial Counsellor)

CEO Youth Mental Health Warrior. Mzuzu Katoto 0996 560 666

Brighton Lupeska (Psychosocial Counsellor) Mzuzu Health Centre 0996 750 057 Jbryto20@gmail.com

Justina Msofi (Psychosocial Counsellor)

Luwinga Secondary School 0888 505 043 jasstinamsofi@yahoo.com

Jimmy Kambalame

Lighthouse Trust, Central Hospital. Mzuzu 0999 944 899

Building up to 2023

The festive season is upon us, and the parties are in full swing. The drinks are flowing and the barbecue is working overtime. As we all know, this can be a great time to connect with friends, family, to catch up on some rest or travel. Children are spoilt with presents and sweet treats to celebrate Christmas, most enjoy a trip to the village if they are lucky enough to meet family there.

There are also many downsides that are unspoken about during this time. Due to the increase in partying and drinking, many cases of poor mental health are overlooked. Not everyone is able to come to terms with challenges, losses, and problems that they faced during the year. Unfortunately, many people are not able to forgive themselves, or others; and instead of resolving their issues, their year ends in a blur of feasting, alcohol, and festive music.

So what are best ways to thrive during the end of the year? Here are a few suggestions to try during the last days of the year.

Forgive yourself, forgive others

Forgiveness is for the brave. It is far too easy to hold a grudge, there’s not much to do except to feed your wounds and remain hardened. To forgive, one must acknowledge that perfection is unrealistic, we are all bound to make mistakes in life. Therefore, to forgive requires acknowledgment, acceptance, and the ability to let go once we have been wronged. Forgiving ourselves is equally important as it liberates us from self-hatred, pain, and frustration.

Make peace with your losses

To some, this might be too much to ask. Grieving loss is a subjective experience, many of us do not have the capacity or skills to survive the loss of a loved one, a family member, employment, financial stability, and so on. What matters is the way in which we respond to loss, the way we choose to grieve. Someone said to me recently, time is not necessarily a healer, rather how you choose to spend time. Your healing will depend on you creating new memories instead of dwelling on old ones, setting fresh goals instead of ruminating on the ones you did not manage to achieve. The point is to look ahead with a hopeful perspective.

Set your mind to positive mode

In order to look ahead you need to have a positive mindset. Being positive is not automatic, it is a choice that must be made over and over again. As the year ends, this is the best time to decide on a new mindset for the year ahead. Over the last few years since COVID 19 started, it has been a real challenge to be positive. Fear and worry have become the norm, stress has impacted many people as the world faces economic hardships and political strife. Choosing to be positive in such a time as this can be challenging, yet very much worth it.

Check out some tips on how to maintain a positive mindset as you prepare for a new year on page 11

Develop and Maintain a Positive Mindset …

Larry Alton from Success.com lists 7 practical tips to help you get more positive:



Start the day with positive affirmations



Focus on the good things, however small they are.

 Find humor in bad situations.

 Turn failures into lessons and learn from them!

 Transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk.



Focus on the present instead of getting mired in the past or losing your way in the future.

 Find positive friends, mentors, and co-workers to support and encourage you

and adds a few more:



Remember that it’s your response that determines the outcome of a situation.

 Use positive affirmations or phrases to chase off negative thoughts.

 Find inspirational quotes and messages to ost your positivity.

 Decide to be happy by being grateful and assuming the people around you have the best of intentions.

 Challenge yourself to maintain a positive attitude when something goes wrong show the world how resilient and positive you are!

“Positive thinking actually means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people, and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.”

To read more on how you can develop and maintain a positive attitude, follow this link to the Positive Psychology website.

Coach Brian Tracy echoes some of these tips

Mental Health Professionals in Central Malawi

St John of God Hospital

Area 43, off Ufulu Road 0992460253/0992460254

Tamanda Msasata

TeeTherapyConsultancyService 0999419898/0888553756

Info.teetherapy@gmail.com

Irene Hora (Chief Consultant)

Integrated Professional counselling and Advisory Ltd 0992598595

Chilungamo M’manga (Psychologist) 0995912585

Elizabeth Nkhonjera 0996293804

Guidance and Counselling Association of Malawi (GCAM) 0995142328/0888448108

Suicide Prevention Group (Mponela) 0888114626/0999299770/0884467846

Likuni Hospital 0996383202/0992556138

Phunzi Counselling (Area18)0999365871

Prime Health 0995 482 905

Joseph Mjid Lungu (Psychotherapist)0888378035

He Matters Foundation 0997071657

Harm Reduction Awareness Counselling and Testing Services 0999317529

Friends of Hope 0994781044

Youth Wave 02122280999204068

Moses Kachingwe 0881569863/0997542704

Does Mental Illness get Worse During the Festive Season?

It may not be the festive season that has a direct impact on mental health. It may be the activities and atmosphere or changes in environment that can lead to an increase or re-lapse into poor mental health.

Depending on what is going on, people may become more stressed, may drink more alcohol, may change their previously well-structured routines, get less sleep, eat more – or less than normal, and generally have poor selfcare habits.

All these factors may lead to poor mental health, anxiety, depression, worsening of mental illness symptoms, thoughts and ideas around suicide, violent behaviour, reckless sexual behaviour, poor financial decision making, isolation, loneliness.

The end of the year can mean different things to different people, however, it is definitely a time to be aware of those with a previous history of mental health problems. If you find that your mental health suffers a lot this time of year, or you notice a significant change in a friend or loved one’s mental health; please make use of the contact information provided to find a mental health practitioner near you.

How do depressed people act?

In public they ‘act’ just like you because they know as an absolute fact that if they act out how they are feeling stigma, discrimination, prejudice and social isolation await them.

They also know with a great deal of certainty that if they tell someone about their depression it will highly likely be met with a platitude along the lines of “just think positive” “eat more vegetables” “pray harder” “go for long walks” fill in the blanks.

If they are really unfortunate, they might meet someone that believes they know what they are suffering but in reality hasn't a clue. It’s very easy to spot those types. They normally say something like “I was depressed myself once and just snapped out of it” which is an instant trivialization of their very real suffering.

How do depressed people act?

They ‘act’ normally as a means of self-preservation while at the same time suffering a world of pain.

Graham Cossam

Mental Health Professionals in Southern Malawi

Zomba Psychiatric Hospital 015 262 66

Limbika Maliwichi (Clinical Psychologist)

0993 662 154

Julie Soko (Counselling Psychologist)

0995 147 290

Prism Counselling and Consultancy (Zomba)

0998 933 273

Dr Chiwoza Bandawe. Harmony Counselling Centre

0888 200 222

Dr Precious Makiyi (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Professional)

0999 426 368

Accord Cognitive Counselling Services

0882 431 111

Vintage Health Wellness Centre (Namiwawa)

0995 260 153 / 0883 859 724

Blantyre Counselling and Therapies Centre

0996 299 888

Tilinao Lamba (Counselling Psychologist)

0885 795 906

Ruth Mkolesia (Counselling Psychology)

Seed of Hope

0993 110 993

Dr Alli Makalani

0888 611 127

What 2022 has Taught Me

Mercy, Lilongwe.

It has been a very fast paced year, many of us can attest to this. The days have flown by and before we even settled into the year it is over. I don’t know about you, but 2022 has been the hardest year for me on a personal level. Here are some of lessons I have learnt this year that will shape and guide the person I will be going forward.

I am not invincible. Yes, it may sound so obvious but to someone who has gone through life being strong, able-bodied, and full of energy, believe you are made of tougher material than those around you. Well, this year

I have spent more time in hospitals and clinics, and even an operating theatre than in my entire life put together. Illness and injuries have come one after the other at a relentless pace. My illusion of being a strong, healthy machine of a woman has crumbled to the ground. I have come face to face with my vulnerable self. It’s time to start learning how to actually look after my body in the way it is meant to be looked after. Self-care can take on a very real meaning when your body begins to fall apart. Lesson learnt.

I always have a choice. No matter how hard the situation, I always have a choice whether to sink or swim. When you are in crisis it’s easy to feel so overwhelmed and hopeless it’s like you are drowning. But one thing I have realised is that there is always a choice; you can sink into the crisis and chaos of the situation, or you can come up for air. No one can hold your head under water, you are the one that chooses. So in my weakest moments, in the middle of a crisis, while lying sick in bed, my mind would always go back to this valuable lesson. I have a choice to remain positive and hopeful, or sink into the depths of despair. Lesson learnt.

I am more flexible than I thought. Nothing ever truly goes to plan, if there ever is such a thing as the perfect plan. This year has taught me that no matter how drastically things can change, I have the capacity to keep it together. I have always lived in anticipation of falling apart should my plans or expectations not work out the way I planned. Yet, there is something about going through a global pandemic and losing all the control you thought you had over your life that teaches you this important lesson, you have never been in control and you never will be. Adapting and bending flexibly to the winds of change are vital survival skills. Lesson learnt.

I need to live and let live. Someone said this to me recently, in fact it was during the worst point of my burnout. He said ‘uzafera za eni’ which translates to ‘you will die for someone else’s issues’. That really hit home. I realised that I do indeed put so much emphasis and effort in the lives of other people at my own expense. The main reason I found myself in chronic burnout is because of this unpleasant trait. As much as I love people and desire to offer help and support for them, I have learnt to draw healthy boundaries and to remind myself that I too have burdens that need my attention. My life needs to be lived by me. Lesson learnt.

Sometimes all it takes is a five-minute calming exercise to bring some peace into your day. Try one of the following …

Hand Awareness Exercise. Place your hands together and squeeze them for a few seconds. Once you release them, take note of how your hands feel when you release and try to keep your focus on the feeling for as long as you can. This activity helps you to connect your mind to your physical body while breaking negative thought patterns.

Music. Listening to music can have a powerful impact on your emotions. When you listen to different types of music, pay attention to how they make you feel, or to what thoughts or memories come up for you.

Quiet Reflection. Take some time to sit quietly, close your eyes, and acknowledge your surroundings. Making note of different sounds and smells, all with the aim of being present in the moment. This helps especially when you are feeling overwhelmed.

One Minute Breathing. A convenient exercise that can be done anywhere, deep breathing is a great way to quickly get rid of physical tension and anxiety. You can do this while standing or seated. Breath in and out slowly, inhale for a count of 5 – hold for a count of 5 –and release your breath slowly for a count of 5. Repeat this exercise several times until you feel calm.

Game of Fours. Begin to notice four things around you that you wouldn’t usually notice. For example, take note of the sounds of four different birds, or four different shades of green in the plants around you, or four smells you notice at different times of the day.

Reduce the Volume. There are so many distractions in our lives from our mobile phones, to loud music playing through way too many blue tooth speakers. It can be difficult to find some peace and quiet in a world that is often lively with noise. Set aside some time in your day to be without noise, at least 10 to 30 minutes. Switch off your radio, television, phone, and any other distractions. Use this time to focus on how you feel, any challenges you may have faced in the day, and also acknowledging all the good things that you are grateful for.

Do suicides increase over the festive season?

Contrary to popular belief, the rate of suicides does not increase during the festive season. In fact, more people are likely to commit suicide in the beginning of the year and during different times of the year.

Awareness about suicide prevention and mental health care should be a yearlong practice. This is not only true for mental health practitioners, but for everyone.

Know the signs:

Severe sadness or moodiness, hopelessness, sleep problems, sudden calmness, withdrawal, personality or appearance, recent trauma or crisis, talking about death and wanting to die.

Sometimes it may be difficult to tell when someone is suicidal as they may not talk about their intentions, or may not show any obvious sings that they are contemplating suicide. The best thing to do is to remain vigilant in checking up on your loved ones, friends, work colleagues, and be available to listen should they reach out.

Please make use of the contact information provided for suicide prevention and intervention.

By now, we hope you are aware that you can access mental health care from all the Central (Referral) Hospitals in the country.

Here is something to take note of, before you can get to the Central (Referral) Hospitals, you need to first visit your local District Hospital in order to be assisted. This applies to mental health care as well.

Once you have been assessed, the medical staff (a psychiatric nurse or clinician) will then determine whether you need to be referred to the Central Hospital, which also provides comprehensive care for mental health challenges.

Please take note of the list of District Hospitals available in Malawi.

Chitipa District Hospital

Karonga District Hospital

Mzimba District Hospital

Nkhata Bay District Hospital

Rumphi District Hospital

Dedza District Hospital

Dowa District Hospital

Kasungu District Hospital

Mchinji District Hospital

Nkhokota District Hospital

Ntcheu District Hospital

Ntchisi District Hospital

Salima District Hospital

Balaka District Hospital

Chikwawa District Hospital

Chiradzulu District Hospital

Machinga District Hospital

Mangochi District Hospital

Mulanje District Hospital

Mwanza District Hospital

Nsanje District Hospital

Get in touch with us for your free offer of mental health related advertising be it for counselling services, support groups, books, upcoming events, and wellness services (e.g. Fitness, massage therapy)

Phalombe District Hospital

Thyolo District Hospital

Zomba District Hospital

Would you like to advertise your mental health services with Essential Grace Magazine?