Cambel Castle

Balancing Act

Cambel Castle

I teeter between everything and nothing. Fumbling to find the balance between the two.

Everything.

It feels like your brain is full of static, a crackly old radio, constantly switching between songs not staying on a station for more than a second.

Everything feels like swimming without coming up for air, being held underwater as my lungs shriek for help.

Everything is the feeling of being in a crowded room, where everyone is screaming at you, but you can’t understand a word they are saying.

Everything is the feeling of going to speak, but choking on air as tears fill your eyes.

Nothing. It feels like the color white, plastered everywhere you look.

Nothing feels like you’re drifting away in space, with nothing to tether you home.

Nothing is the feeling of a leaf blowing on the street, occasionally catching on a lamp post or gutter.

Nothing is the feeling of standing in the ocean, But all the water has been swept away.

Together they feel like the same repetitive songs but with no true meaning, Drowning underneath the pain but there’s nothing to grasp, Screaming back but being blown away with their disregard, Choking but I’m in the middle of a bone dry ocean.

I lay between the two. Between feeling everything at once.

Or nothing at all.