Jordan Dashiell

Nothing (Shower Song)

Jordan Dashiell

Cash register dance while I tally up my minutes Dump those silver hours onto her teeth Déjà vu, I’m living out my same past month In separate installments of the same old days

Meet you at the cafe serving long-cold coffee Talk into the grayness while the waitress fills your cup I wish to be the heels under her surface Forced into the linoleum with purpose

There’s nothing here for me In the checkered floors and dusty ceiling fans My body’s so much bigger than this booth But we drone into the grayness And we make plans.

Shower drain song as the remnants slip away Leaving no sign that shampoo was there at all The water turned cold 20 minutes ago And I’ve let every needle fall

Meet my lipsticked mother at the bus stop Home for a holiday that I forget She holds me tight and talks of nothing Ecstasy on two dead ears

There’s nothing here for me When their hands grab the last plate I wasn’t hungry anyway I grew too old an hour ago

There’s no one here for me My bus ride back crawled by too fast I gazed upon the empty bench It’s not my first, it’s not my last

And every bench is built the same I sat through sun and in the rain I sit on steel and watch the train Begging just to feel again.