THE ANSWER?

Dear Answer,

I woke up today still searching for you. I’ve looked for you in companionship and romance. I have sifted through every diminutive, fleeting second of my day and the entirety of every prolonged hour of my restless night in hopes of finally finding you. But yet… with no success.

Remember when we were inseparable, in the days when everything was seemingly easy, simple, and obvious? Yet you left me without a second glance. You left when I needed you most. Everyone, allof-a-sudden, had too many questions, and I looked to where you always stood but was blindsided by your absence.

“What’s your favorite color?” “What are you like?” “Do you want to stay with your mother or father?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Are you okay?” “How do I move on?” “It’s time. Are you ready?” “Why is this happening?” “What if I had done things differently?” “Who are you?”

Every question is a hurtful reminder— the pierce of a blade into my heart with no end in sight— that you are withdrawn. You aren’t truly gone, no. I can feel your presence like a phantom haunting my every quivering breath. You are like the faint scent of my childhood, faded but present. It’s as if I can reach out my hand, and you’ll materialize beneath my touch.

Oh, how I wish you would. The solace I would find in you would make all these years without you but a memory. Questions like “What is your truth?” would be entirely too easy to understand. I would know where my life is going and who I want to spend it with. Being interrogated by family members over Thanksgiving dinner wouldn’t be unbearable. Decisions would be uncomplicated and effortless– how life once was.

Please come back to me.

Sincerely, Still Searching

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?

ARE YOU OKAY?

WHO ARE YOU?

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

EVERYONE, ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN, HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS, AND I LOOKED TO WHERE YOU ALWAYS STOOD BUT WAS BLINDSIDED BY YOUR ABSENCE.

EVERYONE, ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN, HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS, AND I LOOKED TO WHERE YOU ALWAYS STOOD BUT WAS BLINDSIDED BY YOUR ABSENCE.

EVERYONE, ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN, HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS, AND I LOOKED TO WHERE YOU ALWAYS STOOD BUT WAS BLINDSIDED BY YOUR ABSENCE.

EVERYONE, ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN, HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS, AND I LOOKED