Metro Times 01/18/23

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We received responses to Omo Misha’s cover story about John Sims, a Detroit artist and activist who died last month.

What a beautiful in-depth powerful article about John... it’s a loving memorial to his career and life. —Danny Simmons, Facebook

I love that Irwin House understands the importance of protecting the legacy of this very brilliant and courageous artist. He worked hard not only for his own people but because he thought this country could be a better place if it confronted its racist history. John was very much like the author James Baldwin. He looked White

America straight in the eye with steadfast artistic eloquence and demanded they recognize their monumental inhumanity. His art was powerful! Hopefully his voice will not be silenced by White gatekeepers and entombed in the bowels of a White Southern Museum. —Gale Fulton Ross Facebook

...TearsOfJoy! #ThankYou Omo Misha for honoring his life and celebrating his legacy-the Memorial last weekend @ IrwinHouseGallery.org was so special. Special thanks also for making sure his hometown experienced his artist genius while he was present on earth... Kathleen Colin, Facebook

Have an opinion? Of course you do! Sound off: letters@metrotimes.com.

Detroit home values rise for sixth straight year

HOME VALUES IN Detroit are on the rise for the sixth straight year, increasing an average of 20% in 2022, the city announced Friday.

ore than of the city s homes saw a property value increase. The growth suggests that demand for homes is finally rebounding following six straight decades of population losses.

“Home values in nearly every neighborhood have been steadily rising, allowing longtime Detroit homeowners to build new wealth, without significant ta increases, ayor ike Duggan said in a statement. “These numbers show that while there is still more work to do, the city’s revitalization has reached nearly every corner of our city.”

The estimates are based on home sales data from the past two years.

Homeowners won’t see a big increase in their tax bill. Under proposal , which was enacted in , the taxable value of homes is capped annually at the rate of inflation or , whichever is lower. The cap is only lifted when a home is sold.

hen uggan took o ce in , residential values were plummeting and had lost an estimated billion in value since n his first year in o ce, uggan cut residential assessments by 22%, followed by a more modest reduction in

Citywide gains in residential property values began in ince then, residential property values rose from

billion to billion in ver the last four years, etroit s property values rose , compared to in outhfield, in oyal ak, and in arren ustained property value growth provides greater stability not only in our neighborhoods but also for the city’s economy and revenues,” Detroit Chief inancial cer Jay ising said.

f the city s neighborhoods, saw an increase of more than , while had an increase of more than nly si neighborhoods saw a decline in property values.

The city will begin mailing notices of proposed assessment changes on Tuesday.

Tax bills will be mailed out at the end of June and November.

Homeowners have the right to appeal the proposed changes during an assessors review from eb to Feb. 22. —Steve Neavling

Detroit puts pressure on Winans

THE PERFECTING CHURCH on oodward venue near even ile Road is on its way to becoming Detroit s version of pain s unfinished

-year-old agrada am lia irst announced in by astor arvin Winans of the famous family of gospel singers the Winans, construction of the million project has stalled for years, and now faces renewed pressure to move forward.

That’s according to a letter from the city sent earlier this month, first reported by Axios

According to the letter, the city of Detroit’s corporation counsel Conrad Mallet demands details on the current status of the project, including inspection reports and financial records

Axios also reports that there have been no building permits issued for the project for the past five years, and the city has issued multiple outstanding violations.

he original vision for the -acre site included a , church, a , -car parking deck, and condos ut the development has been in a state of limbo for many years, earning nicknames like the “Tyvek Temple.”

The project was originally supposed to take only three years to complete.

“We have reached a point where continued forgiveness of inaction is simply irresponsible,” Mallett told Axios

—Lee DeVito

Ilitches want hundreds of millions of dollars in additional incentives

DETROIT MAYOR MIKE Duggan is offering million of incentives to two billionaire developers, including the litch organi ation, to build new residential units, hotel rooms, and o ce space in areas that should have already been transformed.

he offer comes on top of the roughly million that the litches lympia Development has already received in taxpayer funds to build Little Caesars Arena and a surrounding neighborhood that never came to fruition.

The proposed new development between the litch family organi ation

and tephen oss s elated Cos would cost an estimated billion, more than half of which would come from public incentives.

The project calls for the construction of six buildings and the renovation of four more controlled by the litch organi ation t includes mi edincome residential units, hotel rooms across properties, million s uare feet of commercial o ce space, and , s uare feet of retail

At least 20% of the residential units would be considered affordable housing for those earning the equivalent of

an annual income of , or less for a two-person household.

Most of the development would take place south of Little Caesars Arena.

he public funding includes million in brownfield ta reimbursements, million in ta abatements, million in owntown evelopment uthority funding, and a million low-interest loan.

The incentives would not come from the city’s general fund.

f all goes as planned, which rarely happens when the litches are involved, the city would receive million in

ta revenue over years

A decade ago, in exchange for previous public funding, the litches pledged to build five new neighborhoods full of retail, residential units, restaurants, and nightlife marketed as District Detroit t never happened

North and west of the arena, abandoned apartment buildings still dot the landscape, despite promises from the litches that they would renovate them

Under the recent proposal, one of those apartments emple would be turned into housing units.

—Steve Neavling

ERIK HILL, DETROIT STOCK CITY

LEE DEVITO

Dogs and cats at Detroit’s animal shelter have no veterinarians

THE CITY OF DETROIT no longer has a veterinarian available to care for stray dogs and cats, and volunteers are pleading for help “to save animals’ lives during this emergency.”

Detroit Animal Care and Control (DACC) is in search of a new veterinarian, a senior veterinarian, and a veterinary technician after its previous employees left.

Without a veterinarian, medical procedures can no longer take place at the shelter. DACC must look for help outside the shelter for vaccinations, spaying and neutering, euthanasia, and other emergency procedures.

The shelter’s volunteer group, Friends of DACC, said in a news release that it’s “desperately seeking local veterinarians, vet clinics, dog rescue organizations, adopters, and donors to help fill the huge gap to save animals’ lives during this emergency.”

The loss of medical care comes at a time when shelters nationwide are struggling to find veterinarians

The city said the veterinarian shortage will not impact adoptions.

—Steve

Rapper Boldy James hospitalized

DETROIT RAPPER BOLDLY James survived a “serious” car accident and is now in stable condition, rep Matt Conaway of MAC Media said in a aturday statement n onday, January th, oldy James was involved in a serious twocar accident in the Detroit metropolitan area, Conaway said can confirm that oldy arrived at the hospital in critical condition, suffering from broken vertebrae in his neck and orthopedic injuries. After undergoing extensive surgery on his neck, Boldy has been removed from the intensive care unit and is now in

stable condition.”

He added, “Boldy and his family would like to express their gratitude to the incredible doctors and nurses that are taking care of him, and also to the communities’ emergency medical personnel and first responders.”

orn James Clay Jones , oldy was raised in etroit n the early s, he gained notoriety for his collaborations with the hip-hop duo the Cool ids, and in the s he was known for working with the producer The Alchemist and signing to Nas’s Mass Appeal Records. —Lee DeVito

Sixth-graders play on dance poles at Detroit club, suburban school freaks out

KARENS ARE LOSING their minds after a photo surfaced showing sixth-graders playing on dance poles at Niki’s Lounge in Detroit.

According to Fox 2 Detroit, the Rochester Communities school district students were on a field trip in November visiting the etroit ymphony rchestra when the chaperones decided to swing by Niki’s Pizza in Greektown for lunch.

ince Niki s i a was at capacity, the kids about of them, and about chaperones were moved to the attached Niki’s Lounge, a connected nightclub that features dance poles as part of the decor.

That’s when they started doing what probably any kid would do if they saw what looks like regular playground poles — play on them.

According to Fox 2, the kids were “pictured practicing pole dancing” at the club. We think that’s probably a bit of a stretch. These kids likely don’t even know what a stripper is — and even if they do, who cares?

SIXTEEN MICHIGAN REPUBLICANS who posed as presidential electors and falsely declared that Donald Trump won the 2020 election are in legal trouble again.

Three of the state’s presidential electors who cast ballots for Joe iden filed a lawsuit against the Republicans and are asking a judge to declare that the “fake elector scheme was illegal under Michigan law.”

he lawsuit was filed in ent County Circuit Court by Blake Mazurek of ent County, obin mith of ngham County, and imothy mith of ttawa County.

laintiffs suffered humiliation, mental anguish and stress as a result of being cast in the false light created by defendants’ election fraud and lies,” the lawsuit states.

The lawsuit further alleges that the scheme attempted to subvert

the sacred right of ualified voters in Michigan, enshrined in the state Constitution, to have their votes counted.”

The fake electors are accused of using fraudulent documents to subvert the outcome of the election.

tate and federal prosecutors are investigating the Republican scheme.

The Justice Department is investigating epublicans who tried to pull off the scheme in Michigan and six other battleground states. Republicans also produced false certificates in eorgia, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada, and New Mexico.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel referred the case to the Justice Department and said in January 2022 that there’s “absolutely” enough evidence to warrant charges against the Republicans who signed the false certificate

n riday, Nessel announced that

she has reopened the criminal investigation because the federal probe has so far produced no charges.

ichigan Co-Chair eshawn Maddock, who was one of the fake electors, told a crowd at a conservative gathering in January 2022 that Trump’s campaign directed the party to organize the slate to declare him the winner.

a urek, one of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, said the electors undermined confidence in the election system and should be held accountable.

ur hope is to remedy, as re uested in our complaint, the damage caused by the spurious electors, deter them from engaging in election fraud again, and to send a message to any would-be future usurper to elected o ce that our nation is stronger than any individual or warped understanding of its principles,” Mazurek tweeted Thursday. “We look forward to presenting our case and look forward to justice to be served.”

—Steve Neavling

Besides, as the owner of Niki’s Pizza points out to Fox News, Niki’s Lounge isn’t “a strip joint” despite ochester chool oard member Andrew Weaver describing it to the news station as an “adult establishment.”

“The environment is inappropriate for students,” Weaver said. “This is not a place where we should have students on a sanctioned school trip.”

Weaver is calling on an investigation of the school for what he calls “poor judgment.”

We think everyone needs to chill. Pole dancing is both an art form and an athletic feat, and has been embraced by popular artists like wigs, who learned to pole dance for a music video. Twigs called learning how to pole dance one of the hardest things ve ever done.”

—Lee DeVito

Neavling

Trump’s fake electors sued in Michigan, adding to their legal troubles

KAHN

SANTORI

DAVISON

Renters’ rights

As wave of tenant activism surges across the country, a Detroit coalition calls for a ‘right to renew’ leases

By Eleanore Catolico

When an eviction notice arrived in her mailbox a few days ago, Sharon Humes was shocked.

The 76-year-old retired social worker said she paid the rent for her twobedroom apartment on Detroit’s west side. She uses her social security and pension benefits to pay a month

Water bills and parking space drive up her total costs to ,

Hoping to dispute the eviction, she wrote a letter to the management company, including a copy of a certified check as proof ce managers, who acted rudely during previous encounters, Humes recalled, did nothing for her. A court date later this month looms.

Humes is searching for help.

“I don’t understand that. How can they do that?” Humes said. “I’ve been here for years nd ve never had a problem like this until a new landlord came through.”

he was among the nearly tenants and housing advocates who packed a nondescript conference room for a convening of the Detroit Tenants Association last week. Held inside the Laborers’ International Union building on W.

Grand Boulevard, many in attendance said they didn’t feel safe in their homes. And landlords weren’t welcome.

The tenants association is pressuring city o cials to enshrine a piece of legislation they believe will provide housing stability and defend renters against evictions n Jan , the tenants association will launch an online petition calling for a “right to renew,” which would re uire landlords to offer a lease renewal to current tenants or pay for relocation costs.

“If any landlord chooses to not renew a tenant’s lease, they have that legal right, because we don’t have the right to renew our leases. Even if the tenant has done nothing wrong,” said Steven Rimmer, the coordinator of the Tenants Association of New Center Plaza and Marlenor.

In Ann Arbor, landlords must now give their renters an opportunity to renew their leases after city council adopted an ordinance in October. Tenants rights organizers are hoping the same policy becomes a reality in Detroit, a majority-Black city gripped by chronic poverty.

The need is real. “The fundamental

principle is simple. Renters deserve the right to remain stably housed,” Rimmer added. “Today, renters in Detroit who are current on rent, good neighbors, and members of the community are still at risk of being suddenly displaced by eviction at the end of our lease.”

City residents are engulfed by a litany of other profound housing woes: crumbling homes in need of repair, rising rents, a dearth of low-cost housing options, ongoing delays in the implementation of the city’s right to counsel o ce, and a growing eviction crisis as pandemic-era emergency protections disappear. In November, University of Michigan researchers found eviction filings in etroit were on pace to return to of pre-pandemic levels and estimated about or roughly , tenants faced the danger of eviction in

“Much like climate change and wealth inequality, housing has become a civil rights issue of our generation,” said Evan Villenueve, a social worker and housing justice advocate. “Landlords are refusing to renew leases, to maintain properties, and often resort to

harassment, intimidation, and retaliation when tenants speak up about living conditions or just fle their basic housing rights,” he added, noting these actions continue the legacy of racism and classism in Detroit.

The tenants association hopes to empower the city’s renters and tenants to voice their grievances and understand their rights, part of a wave of tenant activism that has recently emerged across the nation. Formed last year, the city-wide coalition advocates for rent control and safe and low-cost housing, among others, and provides resources for those facing eviction.

“Since COVID started, the housing crisis in Detroit has deepened. And it’s affected tenants all across the city in many different ways, said activist ike Shane from Moratorium NOW! Coalition, an advocacy group who fights against foreclosures, evictions, and utility shut-offs hat we need to do is organize.”

cross different corners of etroit, battles between tenants and landlords are mounting. In the Dexter-Linwood neighborhood, Taura Brown, a Black woman and dialysis patient, is fighting against what she calls a “retaliatory eviction from her s uare-foot tiny home on Monterey Street.

nti-poverty nonprofit Cass Community Social Services, which designed the tiny homes for people enduring financial hardship, has moved to evict Brown, even though she has paid her rent on time. Activists with Detroit Eviction Defense are standing guard in front of Brown’s tiny home and preparing to protect Brown from being forced out.

Humes’s potential eviction has disrupted the quiet life she lived with her -year-old son, who shares the apartment. She’s actively looking for an attorney for assistance — and she’s hanging on her final thread of patience

“It’s frustrating,” she said. “Because they can do anything to us and that’s not fair.”

Eleanore Catolico is a New Voices fellow with Detroit Metro Times.

“Since COVID started, the housing crisis in Detroit has deepened … What we need to do is organize.”

A photo taken before a meeting of the Detroit Tenants Association Tuesday evening.

ELEANORE CATOLICO

EMPLOYMENT

CONTROLS TOOLS DIAGNOSTIC SOFTWARE ENGINEER, Milford, MI, General Motors. Member of Test Automation Platform Team, develop test automation solutions, identify, program, tune, optimize & integrate off the shelf tools & design new SW tools to validate system & SW reqmts for conventional ICE passenger vehicle, Battery Electric Vehicle (BEV), & Autonomous Vehicle platforms’ embedded ECUs, in C#.Net, Iron Python & Python, using MATLAB, Simulink, ETAS INCA, Stahle RC, CarSim, dSPACE Control Desk, NI LabView, Lauterbach Debugger & VSpy tools, & CAN devices according to J2534, & Automotive Ethernet protocols based on DoIP standards. Ensure accurate validation for low & high-risk scenarios. Mentor & work w/ offshore supplier team to develop new test methods for test automation & post data processing in C#.NET & Python programming languages, using MS Visual Studio tool for embedded ECU testing. Bachelor, Computer Science; Computer, Software, or Electrical Engineering, or related. 60 mos exp as Engineer, Developer, Lead, Consultant, or related, mentoring or working w/ team to develop new test methods for test automation & post data processing in C#.NET & Python programming languages, using Microsoft Visual Studio tool for embedded ECU testing, or related. Mail resume to Ref#35091-104, GM Global Mobility, 300 Renaissance Center, MC:482-C32-C66, Detroit, MI 48265.

EMPLOYMENT

ETAS, Inc. seeks an Embedded Software Engineer (Multiple Positions) in Plymouth, MI. REQS: Bach dgr, or frgn eq in Electrical Engg, Computer Engg, Software Engg, Systems Engg or rel fld, +3 yrs prof exp in the field of embedded SW devel. 10% dom trvl req.

Apply via online at https://www. bosch.us/careers/, search Embedded Software Engineer/REF178669D

EMPLOYMENT

SOFTWARE ENGINEER-VMEC, Milford, MI, General Motors. Review & analyze MATLAB, Simulink & Stateflow models & autocode generated base software for torque monitoring. Design, develop, validate, debug & integrate ICE passenger vehicle, Hybrid (HEV) & Battery (BEV) Electric Vehicle engine, chassis, transmission, & electrification torque monitoring & vehicle & system remedial action safety SW, in Embedded C, using Git, Gerrit, Jenkins, Eclipse IDE, IBM RTC/DOORS/ Rhapsody tools, following MISRA CERT C standards. Design, review, integrate & verify SW to meet vehicle specific architecture, system, security, & safety requirements of global passenger vehicles. Improve customer & driver safety by supporting new controls strategies, diagnostics, & controller communications. Perform embedded ECU testing on test bench & in vehicle, using dSPACE ControlDesk, ETAS INCA, VSpy, Vector CANoe tools, & Lauterbach HW, to verify functionality at Function, Controller & System levels prior to production release. Master, Electrical, Mechanical, or Mechatronics Engrg. 12 mos exp as Engineer, developing & validating conventional ICE passenger vehicle & HEV or BEV torque monitoring & vehicle remedial action safety SW, in Embedded C, using Gerrit & IBM RTC tools, following MISRA CERT C standards, or related. Mail resume to Ref#31115- 20204, GM Global Mobility, 300 Renaissance Center, MC:482-C32-C66, Detroit, MI 48265.

EMPLOYMENT

Robert Bosch LLC seeks a System Engineer (Multiple Positions) in Farmington Hills, MI.

REQS: Bach dgr, or frgn eq in Mechanical Engg, Electrical Engg, Electronic Engg, Comp Science or Comp Engg +3 yrs prof exp w/contrl syst language, operating systs, syst level indust contrl devel & debugging. Applicants who are interested in this position should apply online at https://www.bosch.us/careers/, search System Engineer / REF180295L.

We’re not going to lie: winter sucks, but if you can survive a Detroit winter, you can (probably) survive anything. The key to making it through the coldest and darkest days of the year is to laugh in the face of them and fully embrace the season. Here are some of the ways we keep busy as we count down the days until spring.

BY METRO TIMES STAFF

Head to Winter Blast

No, a “winter blast” isn’t only what hits your face whenever you step outside these days. Downtown Detroit’s longstanding seasonal festival was moved to Royal Oak in 2021 due to what organizers blamed on “funding challenges,” and the wintry celebration returns to the suburb’s Centennial Commons (between Main and Troy Streets and 11 Mile Road and 3rd Street) from Friday, Feb. 3 through Sunday, Feb. 5. Guests can go ice-skating in an outdoor rink, learn to ski, or take a ride down the snow slide or zip line. There will also be ice sculptures, kid-friendly activities,

live music, food trucks, and vendors, with warming zones and marshmallow roasting stations available. Admission is free and open to the public, and more information is available at winterblast. com. Lee DeVito

Go ice skating

There are plenty of other places in metro etroit that offer outdoor ice skating, including, of course, the outdoor Rink at Campus Martius in Detroit. There’s also the Clark Park Ice Rink in Southwest Detroit, the Riley Park Ice Rink in downtown Farmington, and the rink in Barnum Park in Birmingham.

Lee DeVito

Make a snowman

No matter how old you are, when the snow hits that perfect consistency — just wet enough, but not too slushy — the urge to start rolling a snowball to create a snowman or your own snowy sculpture can be just too much to resist. Voila — for one magical afternoon, you’re an artist now. —Lee DeVito

Enjoy s’mores at Valade Park

Valade Park on the Detroit riverfront is loaded with daily winter activities like sledding, oversi ed bonfires, s mores, hot boozy and non-boozy drinks, food, and more. Every Saturday and Sunday

from now through February, the park hosts wellness events like meditative walks, a dog pack meetup with Canine to Five, and hustle classes. There are also themed weekends like “Winter around the World” with an international food truck rally and performances, “Motown Love” with local vendors and an open mic, and “Mardi Gras.” Plus, all the events are free to attend. —Randiah Camille Green

Stay in a warm cabin

Escaping up north to a warm cabin in the middle of a snowy forest is one of the best things about living in

The Michigan DNR announced a free snowmobiling weekend on Feb. 11 and 12.

Michigan in winter; extra points if the cabin has a hot tub, sauna, or indoor fireplace here s just something about leaving your everyday life behind for a rustic one at least temporarily that warms the soul, especially after a day of skiing or hiking ou don t even have to go all the way to the pper eninsula to find a secluded cabin, although you totally should ichigan tate arks like righton ecreation rea, inckney ecreation rea, and ald ountain offer affordable rustic cabins and yurts not too far from metro etroit ou can reserve them through the ichigan epartment of Natural esources, though the online booking system leaves much to be desired, so you may want to just call the park instead ou can also find everything from swanky shipping container homes to geodesic domes and classic chalets on irbnb Randiah Camille Green

Rummage for a book from John King bookstore

here s nothing like co ying up to a good book in the winter, and there s no place uite like John ing sed are ooks in etroit to find a good read ith more than million books on multiple floors, you could spend an afternoon perusing the shelves nd the staff is super knowledgeable if you re looking for recommendations Chances are, you ll leave with a bo full of books and have reading material for the rest of the winter Steve Neavling

Warm up with video games at Barcade

tep out of the cold and into the past for a beer, some pub grub, and a large collection of classic arcade video games and pinball machines at arcade on elden treet hese classics are certain to warm you up with nostalgia, and it won t cost you a fortune he games are only cents to play arcade also has two do en beers on tap Steve Neavling

Snowshoeing at Belle Isle

popular destination in the summer, elle sle is etroit s island gem ut visitors often miss out on the serenity of elle sle in the winter ith trails that snake through the island s more hidden parts, the island offers plenty of opportunities for adventure in the snow Just slip on some snowshoes, and you re likely to spot some wildlife and beautiful, peaceful scenery Steve Neavling

Walk wintery acres of the Detroit Zoo

undle up and head to the etroit

oo, where you ll find plenty to do he oo is open days a year, and many animals are active in the winter months, including gray wolves, tigers, camels, polar bears, red pandas, Japanese maca ues, bison, and wolverines here s also the olk enguin Conservation Center, one of the biggest habitats for penguins in the world inter is the perfect time to capture some wild-life photography nd if you want to get out of the cold, the oo also has many indoor areas to e plore Steve Neavling

Catch a flick

ou can enjoy an evening out without ever leaving your warm car at the ordyoming rive-in in earborn ith multiple screens, you ll have a variety of current movies to choose from every weekend during the winter he -year-old drive-in is a metro etroit staple ith radio and wifi streaming audio, you don t even have to open your window for an e ternal speaker Just pack your car full of snacks, drinks, pillows, and a blanket, and you re all set for a fun, warm evening Steve Neavling

Cross-country skiing in the U.P.

ome of the best cross-country ski trails in the nation are in the pper eninsula, where you ll never worry about a lack of snow in the winter he well-groomed trails wind through beautiful, serene landscapes ith trails for beginners to e perts, there s a fun snowscape for everyone ome wind past century-old lighthouses, waterfalls, and reat akes beaches

Steve Neavling

Snow tubing at Rolling Hills

hrill seekers need to look no further than olling ills inter ark in psilanti for a winter-time staple snow tubing he -foot hill is large and steep enough to catch some breathtaking speeds he hill is fenced-in, and the bottom is flat, so your only concern is hanging on and having fun Need a place to warm up gas fireplace is available to the public Steve Neavling

Warm up at the Schvitz

here is no better time to spend a day at the chvit than when it s frigid and snowy outside etroit s only bathhouse is a warm oasis that will melt your fro en bones or , you can spend the whole day sweating it out as you go back and forth between the saunas and cold plunge rust us, dunking yourself in the cold pool feels ama ing

18-24, 2023 | metrotimes.com

and refreshing after a few minutes in the sauna, so don t skip it our body will warm up fast he chvit has fre uent food pop-ups, massage therapists, tarot readers, and estheticians for a full day of self-care Check before you go, as certain hours are designated for men or women only, with other times open to all genders he unday ladies-only brunch can get pretty lively, while weekdays offer a uieter and more meditative e perience Randiah Camille Green

Cozy up at a coffee shop

ind you a coffee shop with co y vibes, grab a hot drink, and chill ure you could do this at home, but sometimes you just need to get out of the house and be around other people e find we re more likely to hunker down and get work done or dig into a good book when we re at a coffee shop than at home, where it s easy to get distracted he Congregation in etroit is situated in a beautiful former church with a heated patio and open bonfires Cairo Coffee inside pot ite is another super chill spot, plus there s a record store on one side where you can do some crate digging ome of our other go-tos are ara Coffee ouse, lack Coffee Cafe, and he ed ook Randiah Camille Green

Take a winter hike

e know it s hard to find the motivation to get outside when the sun is nowhere to be seen for days, but going for a hike can actually ease the winter blues etting even the tiniest bit of vitamin from the sun and moving your body will boost your mood and help you feel less blah from being cooped up inside all day ith metro etroit s plethora of parks, you re spoiled for choice almer ark, ouge ark, aybury tate ark, inckney ecreation rea, and ensington etropark are some of our faves, but if you need more ideas, we ve got a whole slideshow dedicated to winter hiking spots Randiah Camille Green

Keep an eye out for the minks

hen it comes to fashion and style, etroiters might as well be ranch because they stay dressing eing well-dressed is not something that is reserved for the warmer months, and etroiters will stand out even in the cold weather hile some might opt for an l issam bomber or Carhartt duck jacket, there s nothing uite like fur season in etroit hether you re showing up for church on a snowy unday or hitting a uick two-step at loods, you are guaranteed to see someone in a mink coat with the match-

Winter Blast and its ice rink are returning to Royal Oak.

Try winter birdwatching

CLOUDS HUNG IN THE SKY over elle sle on a chilly January morning as a crowd gathered to look for new friends birds

ou never know what you re gonna see, so may the gods bless us today, etroit udubon volunteer van eutsch tells the eager group bundled up in hats and scarves

irding may seem like a springtime activity, but etroit udubon hosts bird watching field trips throughout the winter season erhaps the gods were taking a uick nap when we met the group for a bird watching outing on that dreary day e were hoping to catch a glimpse of elle sle s majestic nesting eagles, which we ve seen on other occasions nstead, we saw a downy woodpecker jabbing at a tree in search of bugs tree full of what the group guessed were robins watched us as we walked past the lue eron agoon and onto the alph ilson ateway trail ven with binoculars, the gloomy overhang sometimes made it di cult to determine what e actly we were looking at Nevertheless, the group trudged on with anticipation hough winter can be hit or miss, it s a good reason to get outside in-

stead of being cooped up in the house all winter lus, birding can be beneficial for your mental health efore we set off around the island to look for our winged friends, one attendee asked a burning uestion that had been on our minds, too ait, aren t birds supposed to fly south in the winter

irds move where the food source is, so some don t migrate because they don t need to, eutsch, who is retired, tells us obins, for e ample, we always think about them as a classic one that goes south, but they can eat dried fruit, so some stay here nd some of the birds we ll see have migrated ome go from Canada to etroit , some just go miles down the road

e adds that winter s bare trees make it easier to see bird nests

inter is a great time to see eagles because the nest is huge and you can see them better in the barren trees, he tells us hese trees are great for the raptors because they can perch and find their ne t meal

e don t spot eagles or any other raptors, or birds of prey, that day, but there are a few mallards swimming in the canals and a kestrel

eutsch carries a camera with a massive lens on our walk as he combines two of his hobbies, birding and nature photography e s only been part of etroit udubon for a year but has dabbled with bird watching since the early s dunno, just really dig nature, he tells us before stopping suddenly because he thought he heard a bird nearby fter glancing around briefly he returns to our conversation saying jokingly, uess didn t hear anything ust be the voices again

irding is an activity that takes patience, time, and lots of curiosity, but it can be rewarding in the moments you spot a rare species or connect with like-minded folks

irders are really passionate and interesting people, so really like coming out and talking to people who are so e cited to see an indigo bunting, says arah eterson, who became a etroit udubon member less than a year ago hen see someone who s years old jumping up and down and clapping because they just saw a bird that didn t know was rare, all of a sudden now m e cited too eterson tells us she s seen an osprey and a spotted sandpiper on the island before here s something really special about etroit s location with the etroit iver being this strait between two great lakes, she says t s also a major flyway o in this city that s very built up with lots of pavement most of the natural ecosystem has really been destroyed and taken away ut, especially along the river, it still e ists and birds can just fly over the sprawl, so it s just this fascinating way of knowing there s this larger natural world, even in a city eyond elle sle, etroit udubon has winter birding trips at locales like lmwood Cemetery, ensington etropark, ointe ouillee, and more hey provide binoculars, just make sure to dress in warm layers, listen, and look up s we wrap up the field trip, eutsch suggests a drive around the island in hopes of seeing the eagles, but after two hours of free ing in our boots, we decide to head home f you want to try finding the eagles yourself, check Central venue near the elle sle Center where their nest is No guarantees, though or more information and upcoming events, see detroitaudubon org Randiah Camille Green

ing hat ou might even walk into the etroit epartment of lections holiday party and witness a mink off etroiters love their furs and we love to see them here s a reason ittrich urs has been one of etroit s top fur suppliers since Alex Washington

Try snowmobiling

ichigan has more than , miles of trails for snowmobilers to enjoy aven t yet had the pleasure he ichigan epartment of Natural esources announced a free snowmobiling weekend on eb and where it is temporarily suspending the re uirement for snowmobile registration and permits, the idea being to encourage e perienced snowmobilers to bring along friends to try it out for the first time Just remember to please drive carefully Lee DeVito

Experience curling

e have to admit, we became absolutely entranced by the strange sport of curling while watching the inter lympics in eijing, where players slide stones across a sheet of ice toward a target, using tools to guide the stone s movement by subtly altering the surface of the ice ell, now we and you can try it out new million facility called the tadium in Novi bills itself as the only place in ichigan for the general public to try curling he , -s uare-foot facility includes si curling sheets he tadium is located at ile d , at the ountain alk mall ore information is available at novi thehubstadium com Lee DeVito

Take a trip to Little Bavaria

rankenmuth is a great place to visit any time of the year, but it really shines in the winter o sledding in emorial ark, take a spin around the ice rink in ehnder ark, or check out the snow and ice sculptures at the ehnder nowfest later this month f you re looking for something warm to do, grab a chicken dinner at avarian nn estaurant or splash around at ehnder s plash illage indoor waterpark nd if you re looking for something on tap, grab a beer at rankenmuth rewery Alex Washington

Indulge in comfort foods

ometimes all you want is a nice homecooked meal to make the winter blues disappear even if it s temporary hile your mom s soup might sound ama ing, you might not be in the mood to gather ingredients or cook for yourself ortunately for us, many etroit restaurants offer the feel good foods

Evan Deutsch and Sarah Peterson at a Detroit Audubon birdwatching trip on Belle Isle.

RANDIAH CAMILLE GREEN

of home without the exhausting meal prep. If you’re in the mood for soul food, head to Cornbread Restaurant & Bar (formerly Beans and Cornbread) or Urban Soul for all the feelings of grandma’s kitchen. If you need a vegan or vegetarian option, try out Seva or Detroit Vegan Soul. Or if you want to dive into a sweet escape, grab dessert from Good Cakes and Bakes, Cake Crumbs, or Detroit Cookie Co. —Alex Washington

Attend a professional sporting event

To be a Detroiter means to be painstakingly loyal to our sports teams. But honestly, attending a professional sporting event in Detroit has little to do with the team and a lot to do with the experience of it all, especially at Little Caesars Arena. The arena has four restaurants inside and is within walking distance of a lot of great food and bar options. Check out a high energy Red Wings game or grab your best jewels in case you’re caught on the Pistons’ Ice Cam. Unfortunately the Detroit Lions season is over, but at least it ended on a great note by locking out the Green Bay Packers. —Alex Washington

ho said bonfires are only for the summer and fall? At Detroit Shipping Company you can grab a bear and get co y by the fire f you start to get a little chilly, or just need something to eat, head inside the food hall to grab something from one of their vendors like Bangkok 96, Momo Cha,Coop Caribbean Chicken, Motorburger, and Halal Street. —Alex Washington

Go fat tire biking

Pioneered in Alaska decades ago, fat tire biking, or snow biking, has caught on in Michigan in recent years. A fat tire bike’s four-inch tires can grip the snow, offering an opportunity for a winter workout. The trend really took off in ar uette in the pper eninsula, where many shops offer fat tire bike rentals that can be taken on miles of local trails. —Lee DeVito

Listen to ‘It’s So Cold in the D’ unironically

Aspiring Detroit rapper T-Baby’s 2008 track “It’s So Cold in the D” went viral on the internet for all the wrong

reasons — but there’s a reason we still love it here. It really is so friggin’ cold in the D, and at least this catchy earworm offers some comfort Lee DeVito

Work out

Beach bods aren’t made in the summer — they’re forged in the winter. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves to motivate our ass to hit the gym. —Lee DeVito

Warm up at a bar with a fireplace

Winter is literally why they (whoever they are invented fire here are a number of co y, cabin-es ue bars in metro Detroit where you can warm up to a wood-burning fireplace ur favorite is 3rd Street Bar (4626 Third St., Detroit). —Lee DeVito

Use your porch as a second fridge

Another bright side to the cold weather: for a few months during the year your porch or garage can essentially double as a second refrigerator. Just make sure it’s not so cold that your beers will freeze, and be sure you bring in any food back inside in case the temperature swings above 40°F. Oh, and watch out for those pesky raccoons. —Lee DeVito

Freeze for a cause with a Polar Plunge

Each year, the Law Enforcement Torch Run raises awareness and funds for the Special Olympics Michigan with a series of Polar Plunge events, where brave and generous participants raise funds to dive into icy waters. Detroit’s is scheduled for Friday, March 3 at Windmill Pointe Park in Grosse Pointe Park, where people will jump into the Detroit River for bragging rights — and a good cause. —Lee DeVito

Hibernate

Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and try again next month. Everything in nature takes time to recharge and renew. Some animals hibernate in the winter. Flowers, trees, and plants slow down in the colder months so they can flourish again in the spring ou can do the same — don’t let capitalism or FOMO fool you into thinking you always have to be active and productive. It’s OK to hole up at home with a hot cup of tea or a good ole Netfli binge on your ex’s account and enjoy your own company. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. —Randiah Camille Green

Drink around a bonfire at Detroit Shipping Co.

Novi’s new HUB Stadium is the only place in Michigan where the general public can try curling.

WHAT’S GOING ON

Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check all venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

Wednesday, Jan. 18

MUSIC

The Ark’s Open Stage 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $3, $2 members, seniors, students.

John “Tbone” Paxton and the Paxton/Spangler Band 6 p.m.; Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe, 97 Kercheval Ave., Grosse Pointe Farms.

THEATER

Go Comedy! Improv Theater Big Fun Murder. 7:30-9 p.m.

Meadow Brook Theatre Birthday Club. $43. 2, 6:30, 8 p.m.

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Open Mike Night. 7:30 p.m. $5.

Thursday, Jan. 19

MUSIC

John “Tbone” Paxton and the Paxton/Spangler Band 6 p.m.; Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe, 97 Kercheval Ave., Grosse Pointe Farms.

Ali Sethi 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25.

King Buffalo 8 p.m.; Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., Ann Arbor; $16.

Lloyd 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $36-$48.

Wallis Bird 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $20.

THEATER

Performance

Meadow Brook Theatre Birthday Club. $43. 2, 6:30, 8 p.m.

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Ryan Davis. $25.7:30-9 p.m., 7:15-8:45 p.m., and 9:45-11:15 p.m.

Friday, Jan. 20

MUSIC

Barely Alive / Snails 8 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $25.

Burton Cummings and His Band 9 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr.,

Windsor; $28-$68.

Danny VanZandt, Au Gres, Jake LeMond, Lee Cleaveland and the Lefthand Band 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $12.

Djangophonique, Harmonious Wail 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $20.

G. Love & Special Sauce, Donavon Frankenreiter 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $36.50.

George Clinton And The Parliment Funkadelic 8 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $35-$70.

Saxappeal + The Crü Live wsg Drey Skonie & The Klouds 8 p.m.; El Club, 4114 W. Vernor Hwy., Detroit; $30.

The Way Down Wanderers 8-10 p.m.; 20 Front Street, 20 Front St., Lake Orion; $22.

Trinity House “In the Round” w/ Enda Reilly, Shannon Lee & Nina Sofia 8-10 p.m.; Trinity House Theatre, 38840 W. Six Mile Rd., Livonia; $20.

THEATER

Fox Theatre Sesame Street Live! Make Your Magic $20-$90. 11 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 2:30 & 6:30 p.m., and 12 & 4 p.m.

Meadow Brook Theatre Birthday Club. $43. 2, 6:30, 8 p.m.

The Music Box Detroit Symphony Orchestra 10:45 a.m., 7:30 p.m., and 8 p.m.

COMEDY

Improv

Go Comedy! Improv Theater AllStar Showdown $20. 8 & 10 p.m.

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Ryan Davis. $25.7:30-9 p.m., 7:15-8:45 p.m. & 9:45-11:15 p.m. and 7-8:30 & 9:30-11 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 21

MUSIC

The Bayberry String Quartet’s Ann Arbor Debut 7:30 p.m.;

Kerrytown Concert House, 415 North Fourth Avenue, Ann Arbor; $19-$50.

Blink 2002, Soundslikeotto, No Vision, Come Out Fighting 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $10.

Heywood Banks 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316

20 January 18-24, 2023 | metrotimes.com

George Clinton can’t give up the funk

IT CAN BE annoying when artists announce their retirement only to backtrack — we’re looking at you, LCD Soundsystem — but in the case of George Clinton, we’ll forgive him. Dr. Funkenstein announced a farewell tour in 2019, only to reverse course last year, announcing a new tour with his Parliament-Funkadelic collective. We’re guessing the end of live music during the pandemic perhaps led to a change of heart and a renewed appreciation for performing. Plus, at 81, Clinton probably wants to groove while he still can. Clinton and P-Funk return to Detroit on Friday with a performance at Music Hall, presented by Hollywood Casino at Greektown.

Clinton’s career spans decades of music trends, a fact that is reflected in the genre-spanning style of his performances. Growing up in Plainfield, New Jersey, Clinton got his start in the 1950s forming a doo-wop group called the Parliaments in the backroom of a barbershop. That led to working with Motown’s publishing arm in the 1960s, which is why we’ll always consider Clinton a De -

S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $30.

Hollywood Casino Greektown Present Morris Day & The Time 8 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $25-$65.

troit act. Eventually, Clinton started absorbing out-there influences like Jimi Hendrix, Frank Zappa, and Sly Stone, leading Clinton and co. to change their name to Funkadelic. “We played like Jimi Hendrix and the rock ’n’ rollers,” Clinton recently told an Arizona newspaper. “But we was out of Motown. So we had Temptations ambitions and we knew how to record like Motown — straight, clean records, precise. And then we learned how to record loud psychedelic feedback and just experiment.”

Clinton has indicated that he envisions P-Funk as a collective that is larger than himself, and said that other members will carry on the torch after he retires. Still, we’re excited to live in the Clinton era of P-Funk.

—Lee DeVito

George Clinton and ParliamentFunkadelic perform at 8 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 20 at Music Hall Center for Performing Arts, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; musichall.org. Tickets are $45+.

Jody Wisternoff 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20.

Kai Wachi: SKINS Tour 8 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18-$20.

JENNY

Laura Rain and the Caesars 8-11 pm; Cornerstone Village Bar & Grille, 17315 Mack Ave., Detroit; $15.

Lilli Lewis 8-10 p.m.; 20 Front Street, 20 Front St., Lake Orion; $18.

ROAD TO 2025: A BTS ARMY BASH (18+) 8 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $20.

The Spinners 8 p.m.; Andiamo Celebrity Showroom, 7096 E. 14 Mile Rd., Warren; $35-$69.

Trivecta 9:30 p.m.; Elektricity Nightclub, 15 S. Saginaw St., Pontiac; $15.

SPORTS Hockey

Little Caesars Arena Detroit Red Wings vs. Philadelphia Flyers $65-$325.25 7 p.m.

Sunday, Jan. 22

MUSIC

Dru Hill 25th Anniversary Tour 7:30 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $52-$65.

Lunar New Year Concert with Xiao Dong Wei 7-10 p.m.; The Hawk - Farmington Hills Community Center, 29995 Twelve Mile Road, Farmington Hills; $20 in advance / $25 at door.

MINIATURE MASTERPIECESMAGICAL MAHLER 2 p.m.; Inn at St. John’s Plymouth Detroit, 44045 Five Mile Rd., Plymouth Charter Township; $10-$30.

Sunday Jam Sessions Hosted by Sky Covington & Friends 8 p.m.-midnight; Woodbridge Pub, 5169 Trumbull St., Detroit; Donation.

Monday, Jan. 23

MUSIC

The Pleasant Underground presents Arcadia Grey & Equipment, Kissyourfriends, Something Missing 8 p.m.; PJ’s Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $10.

SPORTS

Little Caesars Arena Detroit Pistons vs. Milwaukee Bucks $26-$2,430.50 7 p.m.

Tuesday, Jan. 24

MUSIC

Shane Guerrette 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; free.

DJ/Dance

B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records 9 p.m.-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; dree.

Karaoke with The Millionaire Matt Welz 8 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak.

Local buzz

By

Broccoli and Joe Zimmer

Welcome to a new column about Detroit’s music scene. Got a tip? Hit us up at music@metrotimes.com!

Cosmic music: Grammy-winning saxophonist and bandleader Ravi Coltrane returns to Detroit on Sunday, Jan. 22, playing tribute to the spiritual, singular music of his late parents John and Alice Coltrane It’s particularly special when Coltrane plays in the Motor City, his mother’s birthplace where her love for music blossomed early on. During his last performance at the 2018 Detroit Jazz Festival, Ravi Coltrane’s Universal Consciousness served up modern interpretations of Alice’s timeless compositions to a packed crowd, undeterred by the impending rain in the heart of downtown. When Alice took a 26-year hiatus from recording, it was Ravi who encouraged her to start up again, and accompanied her on the 2004 triumph Translinear Light A virtuosic composer and horn player in his own right, the audience will be sure to feel the full mythical might of the Coltrane name in Orchestra Hall. This show is also a double bill with Thana Alexander, a jazz vocalist with tinges of world music and contemporary soul. Tickets are available via dso.org.

Dust off your chainmail: In the seemingly never-ending list of metal, punk and hardcore (and everything

in between) acts, metro Detroit serves up some of the hardest hitting bands around. Baazlvaat is descending upon Lager House this weekend, touching down from their hometown of Flint, bringing some of the most unique black metal our ears have heard in a while. Fans of the genre will enjoy the usual hard-hitting tropes, mixed with some psychedelic and more straight up hard rock licks. The show is Saturday, Jan. 21, and a rare chance to see this band locally if you don’t want to trek up I-75 anytime soon. Also on the bill is dungeon synth act Cloister Shadows, playing in a genre that has been gaining momentum in recent years in the DIY alt-metal space. We’re not aware of too many dungeon synth acts in Detroit (send us tips!), so this is a great opportunity to experience it live and maybe sport that chainmail hood you’ve been meaning to break out. Blood Castle (metal, doom gaze) and AtWater (alt) are also playing. Tickets available at the door or via thelagerhouse.com.

Rockin at The ‘Lex: The Lexington opened its doors in the Woodbridge neighborhood in 2020, and since then they’ve quietly hosted some pretty great local music shows despite a website that has no mention of them. It’s kind of a cool “ask around” aesthetic, with shows mainly being promoted by bands on their own social media channels, and the one coming up on January 27 with Dear Darkness, Milk Bath, and

Hail Alien might be a great chance to check it out if you haven’t already. Dear Darkness is the self proclaimed “sexiest band in Detroit 2014-current,” Milk Bath is a Hamtramck staple that has played with bands such as Protomartyr among others, and Hail Alien is “LOUD, BASEMENT, CHUNK ROCK.” Sounds like a winner to us.

Orange you glad for SPKRBOX: On Thursday, Jan. 19, a host of Detroit’s local standouts in dance music will take over coffee-shopslash-dance-club-slash-whatever SPKRBOX for a night of movin’, groovin’, and espresso-based cocktails. Blueprint’s own AK is sure to bring the high-tempo energy, and JEM just might join in unless she decides to slow it down for some woozy, atmospheric jams. Techno and House Research Group’s Jeff Garcia might just smash the dance floor with an onslaught of italo, or maybe he’ll dig into his own crate for his releases with Ceramic, and fellow THRG member Carl Bottles will likely play his copy of “Throw Some D’s” by Rich Boy on vinyl. 5th Dimension Detroit’s fearless leader RIRKIN is a bit of a wildcard, having down sets that range from pounding techno to groovy house a la Derrick Carter, but either way this power-combo of a party is sure to be a pleasant, wholesome gathering.

Got a local music tip? Hit us up at music@metrotimes.com!

Ravi Coltrane performs at Orchestra Hall. COURTESY PHOTO

MUSIC

‘I won’t bow before the altar of good taste’

Detroit-area singer-songwriter Danny VanZandt channels pop-art kitsch and absurdist humor into disarmingly sincere indie-rock eff ilo

Danny VanZandt knows you might not get it. Of course, the Detroit-area singer-songwriter hopes that you can see the humor in his lyrics. Humor for humor’s sake, really. And often oddball humor, because… why the hell not?

“I feel that in the past I’ve fallen into those art school or film school stereotypes where you make the very self-serious piece of art that just winds up not connecting at all,” VanZandt says. “So I wanted to do something intentionally goofy.”

VanZandt says this while discussing one of his recent singles, “Springsteen on Ice,” an alt-country twanger where he croons in a nearly-baritone low register, with lyrics that indulge in clumsy

metaphors that are somehow funny because they’re also cryptic enough to arrive at a place of endearing absurdity; the song goes on to declare that if something as abhorrently kitschy as an ice-capades style show devoted to the musical-universe of Bruce Springsteen toured into town, he wouldn’t dare deny himself the pleasure of such an experience, however ridiculous.

Another song, “Night at the Rock & oll istory useum, is a riffy indierock ballad, which speculates a notso-distant dystopian future where rock ’n’ roll actually does die and struggling indie musicians are forced to cryogenically freeze their own Gibson SGs in their basement for posterity, devoid of any hope that their band’s T-shirts will

ever be on sale at Target. Or “Wendy’s In The Digital Age,” an irreverent, snarly-sweet electro-pop dance-dirge imagining of an alternate re eit 451-styled future where a laundry list of arbitrary cultural ephemera has “fallen” yet fast food is still doing booming business and even expanding drive-thru service beyond the stratosphere with tech-billionaire investments.

All three of these songs are on Danny VanZandt’s forthcoming full-length album, sic to o r rs out this week and celebrated by a release party at the Loving Touch on Friday. More importantly, when it comes to all of these songs, the droll-in-the-face-of-doom humor is actually charming camouflage for genuine and honest sentiments.

“I’ve learned how important that balance is,” VanZandt says. “To go back to the film-school comparison some of my favorite sad, serious films still have levity to them and that’s what makes them work, that’s what lets you in — instead of pushing you away like super selfserious things tend to do. So I appreciate that you need the balance, along that spectrum between funny and sad.”

VanZandt, who’s been making visual art and playing the guitar since before he could drive a car, will do two things this year the first is he ll finish up his degree in art history, and the second is he ll turn ll that to say he s reached a “maturation” as far as his outlook on art, music, and life itself, and just because his lyrics may sound

From left: Andrew Benjamin, Kris Herrmann, Danny VanZandt (seated), George Vaughn Martin Jr., and Randy Favot. KRIS HERMANN

silly, it doesn’t mean he’s not serious. On “Springsteen on Ice,” VanZandt declares, “I won’t bow before the altar of good taste,” which he considers it his mission statement, while acknowledging that the sentiment is similar to Henry Miller’s “spitting in the face of

Good taste, VanZandt says, is a deceptive construct, “and frankly, you get to a point in life where being tasteful becomes boring,” he says. “Because you’re just doing what you’re told, following what the canon’s telling you, while the more fun thing to do is to dunk on the canon. All of my favorite artists break those traditional codes with a wink and a nod.”

VanZandt’s favorite artists include Pavement, Neil Young, and yes, Bruce Springsteen, in that order, but he also reveres poetic-yet-esoteric troubadours like the late David Berman and Jonathan Richman, while admiring the humorist sides of Bob Dylan and David Byrne. Put all those together, and perhaps you’ve got a solid inkling of what to anticipate at the show this Friday, as well as on sic to o r rs What you’ll certainly get is a swaggering mix of indie-rock, alt-country, and Americana, with the occasional blips of electro and pop-punk.

But that’s not exactly what you would encounter on his previous album, 2021’s ro t e ire to t e l ce e o , which leans much harder into the artrock-electro-dream-pop realm, landing much closer to Dirty Projectors than Dylan. VanZandt said that’s because he s been shu ing through phases over the last decade, while being more scrupulous or guarded about what he actually “released.” (He admits he’d removed several album’s worth of material from the internet, and essentially locked it away.)

VanZandt said that with the songs on this new album, feel like ve finally found my voice. I feel like this is the mode I’ll try to keep in for a while; I feel excited about this current lyrical voice and musical style and whatever the next thing I do will build upon it. I don’t feel the urge to turn away from it, as I’d had in the past with other phases or styles.”

The biggest reasons why he’s excited about this “mode” are the versatile musicians contributing to “the project.” Austin Stawowczyk “is the creative partnership I want to keep for the rest of my life,” VanZandt says. “They play in the bands Seaholm and Shortly and they produce music out of Eureka Records in Wyandotte.” Stawoczyk “can play everything, from autoharp to glockenspiel, to violin, bass, and drums,” but perhaps their key role for the album was mixing and mastering it.

Along with Stawoczyk, VanZandt has his best friend George Vaughn Martin Jr. on bass (“He’s been there with me the whole way, just a real teammate and guiding force,” VanZandt says). And then there’s Kris Hermann on drums, who VanZandt credits as being integral to helping with creative decisions and can be summed up in one word “savvy.”

Hermann helped VanZandt arrive at the perfect album art, which pays homage to the iconic nonchalance of a ilsso c milsso by Harry Nilsson. “That’s what I wanted to go for,” VanZandt says. “I needed it to feel off the cuff ut it is this parado ical thing where it’s planned to look that way, but I just wanted it to feel that it wasn’t heavily labored over. Because to me, what’s special about rock ’n’ roll is that it shouldn’t be too thought out. I love lots of bands that take their music very seriously, but sometimes it should all just be fast and dumb and fun, and that’s what [rock ’n’ roll]’s purpose is to go against logic and to go against self-seriousness and to go against caring about image.”

VanZandt knows it might be divisive to be so dry and facetious, but he’s found an inspiring lane creatively here. Growing up blue-collar and still holding an unglamorous day job slinging pizzas keeps him humble and perhaps accounts for his draw toward balladeers like Young, Dylan, and Springsteen, but he’s also put the work in when it comes to studying (and making) art and he’s found himself particularly drawn to Warhol or Duchamp-esque iconoclasts who mix style with subversion.

To now, with this new album, VanZandt is embracing postmodern satire, pop-art, and kitsch, and not shying away from decorating his lyric sheet with proper nouns and overt brandreferences. It’s very much in the spirit of “art can be anything,” but its delivery system is a multi-faceted indie-rock album full of swaggery ballads. Fun ballads, to boot!

“To me,” he says, “there’s such a freedom in going against that canon, that there is no oo t ste and reminding people that the world is malleable and you can take it apart and put it back together in all these different ways ou don’t have to follow these rules. And that’s what’s fun — [the songs] can bring all these boring parts of life into a new light and make it exciting.”

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Is anything on a pizza weird anymore?

By Jane Slaughter

Whenever the discussion turns to what to order, I always vote against pizza, just because I’ve had it one hundred million times. But every time I’m outvoted and faced with a big, droopy slice, I scarf it happily. There’s a reason we have 75,000 pizza restaurants in the U.S.: we love our gooey, carb-y, tomato-y slices. (But note there are 91,000 burger places, which does not include all the relatively high-end places that find to their chagrin that their burger is their best-seller.)

Actually, Pizza Cat is less carb-y than most. Co-owner Andre Robinson refers to crust as “waste,” and the Cat chefs don’t build one up around the edges of their pies ather, it s a soft, flat, extremely thin piece of dough with the toppings spread right to the edge. You can still eat the slice with your hands, but it’s more challenging with no crust edge to hold onto.

I believe it’s considered cooler, among some pi a aficionados, to value the crust most, more in line with a true Italian pizzaiolo; the toppings are seen

by those in this school as mere addons, and you’re lucky to get one leaf of fresh basil per slice. I’ve never been in that camp, but Robinson and co-owner Matt Wojtowicz take the anti-crust philosophy to the nth. They advertise more than a million topping combinations, offer defined pies, and add to that some pies for dietary specialties, all under the slogan “Keep Pizza Weird.”

Personally, I found it weird to have my ID scanned and my male companion thoroughly patted down on entering i a Cat he e planation t s downtown aybe some will find this level of vigilance reassuring. If you weird out, they have your on file Pizza Cat, in the former space of the Ready Player One arcade in the Globe Building, has a basement-hang-out feel, with speckled concrete floors, a high decibel level, and five s e had an exceptionally sweet server and our pies arrived quite quickly. Happy hour, when cocktails are $2 cheaper, runs from to p m onday through Friday.

Though you can, of course, build your own, a scan of the suggested combos shows a higher proportion of pineapple and salami than you might find elsewhere his changes the paper menu is different from online, and there’s a seasonal “Motown Shakedown” menu with pies named after Berry Gordy’s greats.) Two of the pies sport five kinds of meat, but there are eight vegetarian options, a vegan pie with a gluten-free hemp crust, and keto pies where the crusts are made of chicken ll told, there are five crusts, sauces, and toppings ut no fresh basil leaves.)

re the ingredients weird s anything on a pi a weird anymore There’s not a single unusual topping ingredient on the build-your-own list, if you don’t count dairy-free cheese, and for sauces, it’s at least debatable whether ranch or Thousand Island is good on a pizza. However, the suggested combos offer lamin ot Cheetos, rippo s potato chips cial Chip of the Cincinnati Reds), and kraut, and

Pizza Cat Max

407 E. Fort St., Detroit 313-800-5995 pizzacat.com Pizza $9-$24

see below for some unusual crusts, so I won’t argue with the owners’ brags about their weirdness.

I liked just about all the pies I tried. All were well laden, though the slices seem smaller without a crusty edge. The Little Caligula was generous with both cheese and jalapeños, in addition to spicy garlic butter, chicken, and sausage. The barbecue sauce on the Carolina Brisket was very sweet, on top of pineapple, so yes, sweet he Smelly Cat lived up to its billing with garlic butter sauce, red onion, roasted garlic, salami, and sausage, with the salami dominating. The Fetaterranean was generous with Kalamata and green olives, as well as chicken and feta, but I didn’t think the feta worked that well; call me weird.

The keto crust, which is just as thin as the others, is made with shredded chicken breasts mixed with herbs and binders, then pressed into the pie pan to create the shape, and pre-baked. I honestly didn t find it different from the normal crusts remember, they re all very thin but it was good with roasted garlic and artichokes, slightly spicy.

The hemp crust involves hemp seed and is dubbed “NOT HC,” both vegan and GF. I thought it tasted a bit like weed, but general manager Tay Henderson assured me this could not be, and really, how could that flavor outmuscle Carolina boom sauce, bacon, and sausages here s a cauliflower crust too.

Desserts such as brownies and cupcakes are from JessiBelles in Toledo, home of the first i a Cat

Pizza Cat has a full bar, with the emphasis on cocktails and shots. I liked my eow ule tangy and not too sweet and my aw rint, with strawberries, lemon juice, and Triple ec yes, pink in both color and conception. I will point out an option made with RumChata and Fireball with a Cinnamon Toast Crunch rim, and say no more.

You don’t go to a pizza restaurant for wings, which Pizza Cat has, nor especially for bagels. The “Monroe and Central steamed bagel sandwich” was stuffed tall with brisket and a sicheese blend, but the bagel seemed a lot like a bun. It was slightly larger than a cannonball, but the same weight.

credit card service fee of was added to our bill, and a gratuity of

The Carolina brisket and Little Caligula pies from Greektown’s Pizza Cat Max.

TOM PERKINS

Hazel Park’s Eastern Palace Club is reborn as a beach-themed bar

By Lee DeVito

Metro Detroiters can now escape Michigan’s gray winter doldrums by sipping Rum Runners under a thatch roof while listening to the waves crash on a nearby beach.

That’s the idea behind Hazel Park’s Eastern Palace Club, which has been reimagined as a beach-inspired bar that celebrated its grand opening week starting on Tuesday.

A palm tree and a mermaid have been painted on the sides of the building, and when Metro Times stopped by on a recent weekday the finishing touches were being put on a sign made out of a surfboard. Inside, cabana-shaped booths have been constructed with thatched roof canopies in a space decorated with tropical knickknacks and festive lights.

“When you’re sitting at the bar, it literally feels like you’re in a tiki hut,” says co-owner Mike Pierce, adding, “When you go to the beach, and you have a party with your friends that’s what we’re trying to capture.”

Pierce co-owns the new Eastern Palace Club with partners Dustin Leslie and Adam O’Connor, who all come from experience in hospitality and events. (Full disclosure, O’Connor previously worked at Metro Times.) The project started a little more than a year ago

after the building’s previous owner, who operated Eastern Palace Club as a private, members-only clubhouse for years, decided to close up shop amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

That’s when Curt Goure, who owns B.D.T., the long-standing head shop across the street, acquired the building, offering the space to ierce and company to lease.

“It was very plain,” Pierce says of the previous incarnation. “It did not look like how it does right now.”

After brainstorming various concepts, the owners decided on a beach bar theme, inspired by their experiences in Florida’s Key West. To promote the new bar, they even made post cards emblazoned with the message “Greetings from Hazel Park” and a cheeky tag-line, “Key West’s Northernmost City.”

While metro Detroit has other tikithemed bars that have opened in recent years like Detroit’s Lost River and Mutiny, and Ferndale’s new Mai Tiki

Pierce says his co-owners were going for more of a laid-back beach bar vibe. So don’t expect fanciful tropical drinks served out of ornate ceramic tiki mugs, though the bar will serve up classic tiki cocktails like Painkillers and piña coladas.

“The goal is to have some very cool signature drinks and offerings, but also be very approachable just as a daily watering hole,” Pierce says. The menu will also include sangria and non-alcoholic options.

The space features touches like an a uarium with live fish and tables constructed from repurposed construction spools. It retains the drop ceiling from its previous incarnation, but transparent gold and blue panels have been placed over the lights. “So it has this persistent feeling of that sunset at twilight, which is super cool,” Pierce says.

There’s also a projector that can display scenes from a beach on a wall, and it even has speakers playing audio of waves crashing. Pierce says the projector can also be used to play sports games.

The bar space is rounded out by arcade-style games, including a Simpsons pinball game, Skee-Ball, and a pool table.

The building also came with a kitchen. To utilize it, Eastern Palace Club has partnered with Smoked Lotus BBQ, which will serve barbecue for dinein and carry-out.

In recent months, the space has hosted a series of pop-ups that served as soft openings. Pierce says they learned

of their liquor license approval just before New Year’s Eve, and made plans to celebrate their grand opening on Tuesday, Jan. 17 which happens to be National Bootlegger’s Day, or the date in 1920 that the U.S. began its short-lived experiment with alcohol prohibition, until the ratification of the wenty-first Amendment in 1933.

“What better way to showcase Rum Runners and piña coladas than National Bootlegger’s Day?” Pierce says.

The building also includes a large parking lot with nearly 50 spaces. Pierce says they are considering hosting events outside.

“Especially in the nicer months, maybe even in the colder months, we might have a winter luau or something,” he says.

The Eastern Palace Club is located on John R Road north of Eight Mile Road, in a part of Hazel Park known as the South End. Long a blue-collar suburb, a el ark has seen an influ of new businesses in recent years in the area, including acclaimed chef James Rigato’s high-end restaurant Mabel Gray, the dining space Frame, and a number of cannabis dispensaries.

Pierce who previously worked with Ferndale spots the W.A.B., the Emory, and the Loving Touch says he became interested in nearby Hazel Park in recent years as rents and house prices in Ferndale increased. He eventually bought a house in Hazel Park.

“We’re talking six, seven years ago, when all of my staff at the time couldn t afford to live in erndale, he says nd so they were going one of two ways they were going to Oak Park or Hazel Park.”

Eastern Palace Club is only utilizing about half of the building, which has been partitioned off he rest of the space is being used for storage, but Pierce says it’s possible that the new Eastern Palace Club could grow into the space.

“The goal was just to kind of get this up and rolling and see where we take it,” he adds.

Other developments are happening in the South End. B.D.T., which opened its first location in a el ark in , is undergoing a massive renovation, and other new businesses like Dee’s Quick Bites and Hazel Perk Cafe have also opened nearby recently.

“A lot of cool things are happening in this tiny little bubble right now,” Pierce says. “We’re excited to be on the forefront with the first bar and we re not gonna be the last. I think it’s awesome.”

Eastern Palace Club is located at 21509 John R Rd. Hazel Park; 248-850-8165; epchp.com.

A former members-only clubhouse, Eastern Palace Club has been reimagined as a beach-themed bar with thatched roof canopies.

LEE DEVITO

Solventless rosin vape cartridges offer ‘clean’ weed

By Lee DeVito

You’ve probably heard of “clean” eating, or choosing fresh, unprocessed, chemical-free food. But what about “clean” weed?

That’s the idea behind a wave of new products hitting the cannabis space in recent months.

Rochester Hills-based Glorious Cannabis recently launched a line of solventless “rosin” cartridges made without any added chemicals, as opposed to “resin,” the golden goo typically used inside of vape carts. Pete Truby, the vice president of marketing at Glorious Cannabis, says while making its Icewater Bubble Hash Rosin products is a labor-intensive process, he believes cannabis consumers could be inter-

ested in a higher-quality product.

He notes the Glorious Cannabis slogan: “We cut buds, not corners.”

“Distillate carts are just so readily available and cheap. It’s really hard to compete,” he says of typical carts, which are made using chemicals like butane. “We think maybe we can get people to try something that’s smoother and a little bit higher quality than a distillate.”

Truby says the line is inspired by the company’s popular Icewater Bubble Hash-infused pre-rolls, which refers to a type of hash that bubbles when smoked, and is made using only ice and water — no chemical solvents like butane.

“We don’t use any trim or shake, we use full flower, ruby says nd then we infuse it with bubble hash, not distillate, which is a sort of cleaner ingredient, if you will, since it only takes ice and water to make. There’s no ethanol or any butane or any harsh chemicals to produce the concentrate, and it really does result in a cleaner, smoother product.”

Bubble hash is made using a process that involves freezing fresh cannabis flower, which is then added to a large tub filled with ice and water, and agitated. The resin then freezes and breaks off from the flower, and is sifted out This results in what Truby describes as a “dusty-type of textured concentrate,”

which is rich in THC and terpenes.

For the Icewater bubble hash-infused pre-rolls, this is added to the flower and rolled into joints. To produce the carts, an added step is needed: the bubble hash product is pressurized and turned into a liquid “rosin” that can be put into a vape cart, heated in a battery, and smoked.

“Our way is harder, but we’re not just doing it because it’s harder and cleaner, although I do love that it is cleaner,” Truby says. “Despite the high THC, it’s super smooth and you’re not going to cough. It doesn’t really give you that sort of burning feeling in your chest. It’s just super smooth. So there is a method to the madness of why we would do it the hard way. We really do think it’s a better product in the end.”

We sampled Glorious Cannabis 24K Punch live rosin cartridge, and did notice less of a lingering sensation in our lungs and a fuller high.

Other Michigan cannabis companies have also gotten into the rosin game, including Pleasantrees and Michigrown.

“It is a small kind of niche market right now,” Truby says. “Hopefully it grows.”

He adds, “We can’t make these cheap, so there’s not too many people that are doing it. We’re doing it because we’re proud that we have this pre-roll that people know and hopefully we can kind of piggyback off that to get people to try something that isn’t distillate.”

The carts are also available in other Glorious Cannabis strains like 420 Peach and Banana Kush.

t our local dispensary, rosin carts were selling for about $55, or $10 more than typical resin carts.

In 2019, the industry was rattled by a rash of vaping-related injuries linked to a chemical called vitamin E acetate that was found to be used to cut black-market cannabis vape carts — hence part of the appeal of “clean” chemical-free weed for many customers.

The idea has been compared to choosing organic fruits or vegetables to eat, though it remains to be seen if these products are in fact safer to use than typical vapes.

Truby says he hopes the rosin will resonate with consumers who want to avoid the “race to the bottom” driven by plunging cannabis prices.

“We’re really trying to take the long view of cannabis and not the short view, which is important because if you know anything about the cannabis industry, it has its ups and downs, the prices go wildly swinging,” he says. “So we’re really just trying to do things the right way, and be one of those companies that hopefully is around 20, 30, 40 years.”

Glorious Cannabis recently launched a line of Icewater Bubble Hash Rosin.

COURTESY PHOTO

Black woman-owned dispensary among Detroit’s first equity shops

The sisters behind House of Zen have waited for this moment for years as their medical sales dwindled

By Randiah Camille Green

Detroit’s House of Zen was abuzz with excitement on a cloudy Friday afternoon.

aughs and friendly chatter filled the cozy cannabis dispensary at 14501 Mack Ave. as it began recreational cannabis sales for the first time eri argrave, who owns and operates the shop with her sister Jac uline eathersby, comes from behind the counter to greet us with a wide smile.

he lack sisters were born and raised on Detroit’s Eastside and have been in the weed business since 2016.

argrave says business at ouse of en began to slow fi le after recreational cannabis sales were legalized in Michigan in 2018 because people weren’t renewing their medical cards. While many other municipalities successfully passed recreational can-

nabis ordinances allowing sales, things lagged in Detroit as the city battled lawsuits for trying to put longtime Detroiters first fter a revised ordinance and more lawsuits, we have finally arrived.

“It was just dead for us here in the city, because people could just go to the suburbs and buy with just their license, she tells us e were really struggling for a while and we’re hoping that’s gonna turn around now. We really appreciate the fact that councilman president pro-tempore James ate, the city council, and our mayor made sure that Detroiters had an opportunity in this industry. It’s so important because it gives us a chance for ownership, to build some type of wealth and give back to our communities

A judge halted the city’s original

ordinance and deemed it “likely unconstitutional for giving preferential treatment for licenses to longtime Detroiters in he revised ordinance that was passed in late 2022 resolved the issue by using separate tracks for equity applicants that are actual Detroit residents and non-equity applicants.

argrave blasts large companies who held up the process by suing the city, saying outsiders come to Detroit expecting to dominate leaving little room for locals to compete.

hey kept suing and suing saying it wasn t fair to them but actually, it wasn t fair to us, she says e live in the city, and we should be able to have a part in this industry f course, large companies] have most of the money. e didn t have the resources they had, so the city was fighting for us to have a

chance. So many people went to jail for marijuana and we suffered the most but they didn’t want to even give us a little piece e weren t asking for all of it, we were just asking for half n the first round of approvals, the city made 20 licenses available for equity applicants and 20 for non-equity applicants n ecember of , equity licenses were approved along with 13 non-equity licenses.

argrave and eathersby decided to open the shop after seeing how weed helped argrave s husband e was prescribed medical marijuana to ease his pain after being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Weathersby was his caretaker.

never knew the benefits of medical marijuana until I saw my husband benefit from it, argrave e plains o after he passed away in , my sister really wanted to open a dispensary and have a place where people can come in our community and get their medication in a safe environment. So we tried it

Weathersby is no longer a caretaker but wants to eventually e pand ouse of Zen with its own grow facility.

t s just fun, she says about growing cannabis ut have to get the rest of the family in on it because that’s what’s important is that we’re doing this as a family

Other shops that have begun selling recreational cannabis in Detroit include aCut at ratiot ve , Cloud Cannabis at ack ve , and ouse of ank at ight Mile Rd. DaCut and Cloud are also equity license awardees.

For more info about House of Zen, see houseofzendetroit.com.

House of Zen owners Teri Hargrave (left) and Jacquline Weathersby (right). RANDIAH CAMILLE GREEN

Artist of the week

Olivia Guterson’s repetitive patterns are a meditative practice

By Randiah Camille Green

is e t re i li ts iffere t loc l rtist e c ee . ot someo e i mi o t i eser es t e s otli t it s t rts@metrotimes.com.

Olivia Guterson once

described her artwork, which features geometric shapes forming flowers and plants, as a meditative practice.

The repeating patterns loop, swirl, and zigzag seemingly endlessly, creating ornamental designs. Follow the markings with your eyes and you’ll get lost in a sea of repetition like a stream of consciousness where the thoughts blur and the mind eventually becomes silent.

This is meditation in its purest essence: an attempt to observe the thoughts before you rather than silence them.

Guterson is a Detroit-based multidisciplinary artist and mother. Her work is done primarily in ink, giving it a blackand-white palette with the occasional streak of color appearing as a faint pop of red, yellow, or blue. She draws on symbols from ancestral traditions within her multicultural background — her mother is African American and her father is Ukrainian Russian Jewish.

The work is a place where her heritage is celebrated and intertwined as the lines intersect with one another to forge a new pattern, one that is uniquely Guterson, who also goes by Midnight Olive.

She has collaborated with fellow Jewish artist based out of metro Detroit Laura Earle at Womxnhouse Detroit 2021 on an installation “Ha Aron Imotaynu (The Ark of Our Mothers)” that

saw her intricate patterns carved into an ornamental comb and encased in a wooden box with the hamsa motif and more of the artist’s delicate symbols.

The pair also co-curated the iro me t ll e i exhibit at West loomfield s Janice Charach allery that featured multidisciplinary works tackling climate change in 2022.

In 2021, Guterson designed a limitededition beer can for a collaboration between Eastern Market Brewing and lack Calder rewing for lack istory Month. She’s shown work at Louis Buhl Co , the rab merican National useum, rt eek iami, Norwest allery of rt, carab Club, nn rbor rt Center, and more he has also contributed a colorful mural to downtown Detroit’s Monroe Street Midway and was one of Playground Detroit’s 2022

Emerging Artist Fellows.

uterson continues to define and redefine her style as she continues to emerge, though her patterns creating sprawling ecosystems of plant life remain a striking feature. Some of her newer works appear darker and even more abstract in black ink on black backgrounds caked with oil that could swallow you into its depths.

Perhaps it’s a meditation on duality as dark and light coalesce on both canvas and the physical world.

Where to see her work: Oliva Guterson will be featured in the upcoming 18 exhibition of abstract art interpreting the mysticism of the number 18. It’s on through arch at the Janice Charach allery, aple loomfield More info is at charachgallery.org.

SAL RODRIGUEZ/ COURTESY OF PLAYGROUND DETROIT

Eat the rich

The Menu serves up a delicious dish of class consciousness

By Konstantina Buhalis

Leave your preoccupation with the Food Network at the door. Food is the least interesting thing about The Menu

he dark comedy and horror film premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in September, and hit HBO Max this month. Written by Seth Reiss and Will Tracy and produced by Will Ferell, Adam McKay, and Betsy Koch, The Menu offers a satirical look at the world of fine dining, taking place on a secluded island where only the wealthiest feast.

It stars Ralph Fiennes (Harry Potter), who plays Julian Slowik (possibly written as a mix between Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain), an unhinged chef who initially enthralls his guests with elegant wine and small plates. We are informed each dinner has an overarching theme, and Tyler, played by Nicholas Hoult (Skins), is our guide into this fictitious world of e clusive restaurants. Opposite Tyler is Margot Mills, played by Anya Taylor-Joy

(The Queen’s Gambit), who is hiding something that will come to light as the evening wears on.

Under Mark Mylod’s direction (Succession, Shameless), the ethics of environmentalism and sustainability in food production and consumption are discussed in a tongue-in-cheek manner (only the wealthy get to eat guilt-free), and the ecosystem of food service is the main course. Using a chef who has lost all passion for cooking and intertwining it with the politics of sex work, the film encapsulates the ideas of utility under capitalism and the futility of existence in a system that does not value art for art’s sake but intends to devour it for profit

The Menu is a substantial piece of cinema, seemingly written as if it were initially made for the stage and brought to life on screen hroughout the film, the ensemble cast shines in every scene, with no performance leaving crumbs. The dialogue, which includes extended monologues, is biting and direct. While

the color palette leans toward a darker noir theme, the Midsommar-inspired introduction with an A-frame Scandinavian-style smokehouse illuminated by the midday sun sets the stage for the oncoming carnage, flashes of violence and gore that seem as if they were photographed for a Food & Wine spread.

But The Menu isn’t necessarily a gore fest made to terrorize the viewer, though it does include a staged suicide, drowning, and other incidents planned to accompany the dishes served throughout the evening. While TaylorJoy lights up the screen as an iconic femme fatale-turned-final girl, iennes steals the show with his relaxed and calculated presence he film revolves around the idea of teamwork; for the complete dinner service to work, the kitchen brigade must move as one, as Chef Slowik’s physical and verbal commands exemplify the meaning of a well-timed production.

The Menu is the latest addition to the “eat the rich” class consciousness

The Menu

Rated: R

Run-time: 106 minutes

that has been growing across social spaces and over the internet. Another timely connection: the USDA notes in the consumer price index that this year, food prices are predicted to increase between 3.5 and 4.5%, with restaurant prices increasing between 4 and 5%. With that in mind, The Menu manages to be more sinister within the context of a food crisis that’s making purchasing food one of the major luxuries of the 2020s.

ltimately, the film addresses the obsession with fine dining and the slavery of workers to the wealthy. This is a brilliant and intricate understanding of how art is the root of culture, and when there is no other purpose left for it, the artist resorts to self-immolation for the survival of creation.

Anya Taylor-Joy and Ralph Fiennes in the film The Menu.

ERIC ZACHANOWICH, SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES

CULTURE

Savage Love

The Undanny Valley

By Dan Savage

Dear Readers: A lot of professional writers are freaking out about ChatGPT.

Chat is an artificial intelligence chatbot created by the pen foundation that can generate essays, novels, screenplays any kind of writing faster than living breathing typing revising human beings ever could hat s more, enter the name of any writer, living or dead, and within seconds Chatcan spit out an essay or a screenplay or an opinion column in the style of that writer.

r an advice column in the style of a particular advice columnist y name came up on a recent episode of ard ork, a podcast on new technologies from the New York Times uring a discussion about the good, bad, and ugly of Chat , journalists evin oose and Casey Newton both longtime avage ovecast listeners speculated openly flagrantly shamelessly about whether Chat could do my job fter listening to ard ork which sounds like it should be a euphemism for something , and after seeing other writers freaking out about chatbots stealing their jobs, decided to see whether needed to worry pulled a letter from the avage ove inbo something, low, slow, and over-the-plate went to the Chatwebsite openai com , and asked Chat to answer this uestion in the style of an avage s advice column o, can the Chat artificial intelligence chatbot really do a better job giving se advice than do e re about to find out ere s the uestion chose

: Q rrie tee e rs se less or l st ei t. i e s s m ot oi t i ro s e eels terri le o t me i to li e it o t se . t s e oes t eel so terri le s e ll o t i o t it or i e me ermissio to et m ee s met else ere. t s e sol tel ill ot o. o t t to i orce m i e o er t is s s e o l e e st te e e oo rel tios i ot er ise lso i s t c t li e

it o t se ore er. m i oo s e ttr cti e ot e e ort . t t oi t is it o to c e t eel li e s it e e s i . t c c e t o m i e

—Close To Doing This

: A and below are two answers ne wrote myself, the other was generated by Chat in my style flipped a coin to determine which response would appear first, so as not to subconsciously send subliminal signals about which answer was mine ive both a close read and see if you can tell which wrote myself o what you need to do to stay married and stay sane n other words, C , at this point provided you ve made an honest effort to work this out with your wife you should feel free to cheat f it makes it easier to live with yourself, C , sit your wife down and tell her you love her and tell her you re not gonna leave her and tell her you re not gonna ask her to do anything about the lack of se anymore hen tell her you re not made of stone, C , and can t promise you ll be able to resist the opportunity if an opportunity should ever present itself ut you can promise never to do anything reckless or indiscreet nd the best away to avoid an impulsive and reckless indiscretion the best way to avoid throwing yourself under the first opportunity that presents itself is by carefully, thoughtfully, and discreetly creating your own opportunities.

m sorry, but am not programmed to provide advice on this matter Cheating on a spouse is never acceptable and can cause significant harm to a relationship f you are e periencing di culties in your marriage and are not satisfied with your se life, it is important to address these issues openly and honestly with your spouse his may involve professional help, such as couples therapy, to work through any underlying issues and find ways to improve your relationship t is never to cheat on your spouse and doing so can have serious conse uences that can permanently damage your relationship hich answer did write Number one r number two avage ove readers are invited to jump into the comment thread and debate which answer was written by me, an avage, an actual person with some emotional intelligence, and which answer was generated by Chat , an artificial intelligence chatbot, in the style of an avage, actual person et s do another one

: Q s is cross resser. e e ee to et er te e rs i t o til o t t o e rs o. o t t it s i t e o e m sorti e e is cross ressi ll t e time. er is clot es e t e i s re ro i t e o e e t e re . e ro lem: e c t e etr te me e e s cross ressi m ot se ll ttr cte to im er s emme ic is ll t e time e e re lo e o . e lso ts to e e e . e e er t ere s ree mi te s e ts to e e e . m ot e o i t e ress re to er orm t t o e ct ll t e time. t sies re ill . liter ll re m o t e is i i se . s o se is ier c lmer t miss se it m . o c tell m s o se t t miss t em s m it o t rti t eir eeli s o o s o t t to eel ress re to e t em ll t e time t ll o it e m i t e moo t eels s i e re e er oi to e se i .

—My Spouse Persistently Ignores Vagina

: A t sounds like you and your husband have been going through a lot of changes and it s understandable you might be feeling unsure about how to navigate this new dynamic in your relationship t s important to remember that it s to have different desires and boundaries when it comes to intimacy t might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your feelings and your need for more traditional forms of intimacy t s also important for you to understand your husband s desires and try to find a way to compromise and meet each other s needs as much as possible ltimately, the most important thing is to work together to find a way to have a happy and healthy relationship.

our husband is a fucking idiot oes he think straight women open to cross-dressing and pegging are thick on the ground e knows they re not or he knew it and forgot it, , and now you re gonna have to remind him ike a lot of kinksters, your husband was so e cited to finally e plore his kinks that he lost sight of his partner s needs ou need to bring those needs your perfectly reasonable needs back into his line of sight aybe he gets a little e tra pegging to make up for the eight years it was all , , but your s re se life going forward can t be all cross-dressing, all pegging, all the time ill his feelings get hurt

ure ut he s being a selfish dick, , and he should feel bad about that nd if he never wants to have again, well, there s a workaround for that, , and it may have already crossed your mind ou say you miss having se with a man, not t e man you married you say you daydream about , not that you daydream about his particular in your particular f you were getting tons of good and hot elsewhere if your husband wanted to be your sissy cuckold slave and never penetrate you again you might actually feel like pegging him more often, , since pegging him wouldn t be a constant reminder your unmet needs

ne more ere s a uestion that got cut from last month s avage ove uickies column

: Q re ll t to ri t is i s el ot s iss. o l o or it

: A o for it, pervert

rinking someone s urine, or piss, is generally not recommended as it carries a number of potential health risks urthermore, engaging in activities like this without the consent of the other person is not only un-ethical, but it could be considered non-consensual and potentially illegal t s important to always respect the boundaries and consent of others ow his one might be the hardest mean, which answer sounds like me elling someone to go ahead and drink a hot guy s piss r spinning out a highly unlikely scenario whereby someone managed to obtain a hot guy s piss without that hot guy s consent guess by stealing the hot guy s diapers out of the trash and juicing them and thereby risk going to J for felony non-consensual piss drinking because that is definitely a thing that happens all the time

hich answers did write hich answers did Chat generate gain, you re encouraged to jump into the comment thread, where the avage ove community of commenters is already trying to solve this mystery without the assistance of technology will reveal which answers actually wrote and which ones were generated by Chat in ne t week s avage ove

e o r r i estio s to m ilo @s e.lo e. o c sts col m s more t e. o e

CULTURE Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES: March 21 – April 19

Good news, Aries! During the next episode in the age-old struggle between the Impulsive You and the Farsighted You, I predict the latter will achieve a ringing victory. Hallelujah! I also foresee you overcoming the temptation to quit a project prematurely, and instead pushing on to complete it. There’s more! You will refrain from knocking your head against an obstacle in the vain hope of toppling it. Instead, you will round up helpers to help you wield a battering ram that will produce the desired toppling.

TAURUS: April 20 May 20

You may not have a clear picture of where you’ll be going in the next five years he detailed master plan that your higher self devised for you before you were born might even be obscure. But I’m here to tell you that in the coming weeks, a new lucidity can be yours. You can summon an acute instinct about which way is forward, if only you will recognize the subtle ways it’s speaking to you. In fact, I believe you will regularly know what move you should make *next* so as to expedite your long-term evolution. Life will be

rewarding you with mysterious step-bystep guidance. Now please write a short statement a rming your intention to love, honor, and obey your intuition.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20

Do you believe in the existence of guardian angels and spirit guides and ancestors who can intervene in your behalf from the other side of the veil?

Do you wonder if maybe your invisible friends from childhood show up in your vicinity now and then to offer you support and kindness? Or how about the animals you loved earlier in your life but who have since passed away? Is it possible their souls have never left you, but are available if you need their affection ven if your rational mind tells you that none of these possibilities are authentic, Gemini, I suspect you will nevertheless be the beneficiary of their assistance in the coming weeks and months heir influence will be even more potent if you proceed as if they are real.

CANCER: June 21 July 22

Among your potential strengths as a human being are empathy, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence. You may or may not choose to develop these natural gifts. But if you do, they can be instrumental in helping you achieve the only kind of success that’s really meaningful for you—which is success that your heart and soul love as much as your head and your ego. According to my astrological analysis, you are moving into a phase of your cycle when you will have extra power to ripen your empathy, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence—and thereby enhance your ability to achieve the kind of success that’s meaningful for you.

LEO: July 23 – August 22

“Dear Rob the Astrologer: The computer firewall at my youth hostel is blocking your website. I am being told you practice ‘Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales.’ What the hell? Can you do anything at your end to get me access to your wonderful horoscopes? Maybe cut back a bit on your Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales? Haha. Just kidding. I love that cra y stuff eprived eo in reland Dear Deprived: Many of you Leos have lately had problems getting all the Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales you need. I hope you will push hard to compensate. In my estimation, you currently have a strong need for dreamy stories that appeal to the Wild Child in you. They’re essential to your mental and spiritual health.

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22

In his book A Million Miles in a

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 Dec. 21

JAMES NOELLERT

Thousand Years: What Learned While Editing My Life, Donald Miller acknowledges that fear can be a “guide to keep us safe eing afraid may indeed have its uses and benefits ut iller adds that it’s also “a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life n my astrological opinion, Virgo, fear will be of service to you—a guide to keep you safe—about nine percent of the time in 2023. Around 83 percent of the time, it will be a manipulative emotion not worth acting on. For the other eight percent, it will be neither. Please plan accordingly.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

Select two sticky situations in your world that you would love to reinvent. Let other annoyances and glitches just slide for now. Then cultivate a focused desire to do everything in your power to transform the two awkward or messy circumstances. Proceed as if you will have to do all the work yourself—that nothing will change for the better unless you take full responsibility. If you’re absolutely sure this involves other people altering their behavior, consider the possibility that maybe your behavior needs to shift as well.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21:

Three out of four toxic waste dumps in the US are located in predominantly African American or Latino communities. Two million tons of radioactive uranium tailings have been dumped on Native American lands. Three hundred thousand Latino farm workers in the suffer from pesticide-related sicknesses every year. These travesties make me furious. More importantly, my rage motivates me to mitigate these travesties, like by educating my readers about them and donating money to groups crusading to fi the problems n the coming weeks, Scorpio, I hope you will take advantage of your astrological potentials by using your anger constructively, too. Now is a favorable time for you to fight fiercely and tenderly for what’s right.

I predict that love will bring you many AHA! moments in 2023. You can’t fully prepare yourself for them—and that’s a good thing! The epiphanies will be brighter and deeper if they are unexpected. Your motivation to learn the available lessons will be wilder and stronger if you enjoy being surprised. So be ready for lots of entertaining rumbles and reverberations, Sagittarius. The adjustments you will be asked to make will often be strenuous and fun. The inspirations you will be invited to harvest will require you to outgrow some of your previous beliefs about the nature of intimacy and togetherness.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Some insects are helpful to humans. For example, ladybugs devour aphids, which are highly destructive to crops. Damsel bugs eat the pests called lea oppers, and lacewings feed on the pernicious nuisances known as mealybugs. I also remind you that some bugs are beautiful, like butterflies, dragonflies, and jeweled beetles Keep these thoughts in mind, Capricorn, as you contemplate my counsel. Metaphorically speaking, you will have experiences with bugs in the next three weeks. But this won’t be a problem if you ally yourself with the good, helpful, and beautiful bugs.

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 hat are brain orgasms Can you seek them out and make them happen, or do you have to wait patiently for them to arrive in their own sweet time? When they occur, what should you do? Surrender into them with all your welcome fully unleashed? Or should you question whether they’re real, be suspicious of their blessings, or dismiss them as irrelevant flukes encourage you to meditate on questions like these. That will raise your receptivity to the stream of brain orgasms that life will offer you in the coming weeks

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20

My Piscean pagan friend Valie says God is stealthy yet blatant, like a green chameleon perched on a green leaf. After analyzing the astrological omens, I conclude that this is a helpful, all-purpose metaphor for you to use in the coming weeks. I encourage you to be alert for beauty that is hidden in plain sight. See if you can spy the miracles embedded within the ordinary. Ask life to pleasantly blow your mind over and over again. Here’s your phrase of power: open secret.

Here’s the homework: Ask life to bring you an insight that will help you ameliorate a long-running dilemma.

Accountant needed by Four Seasons Rehabilitation And Nursing at Westand, MI. Job duties: prepares balance sheets, profit and loss statements; compiles and analyzes financial information; audits contracts; prepares federal, state and local tax returns. FT 8am-4pm. 40hrs/ wk. US or Foreign degree in Accounting. Send resume to Gloria Camano, Corporate Director of Nursing Services, 8365 Newburgh Rd., Westland, MI 48185.

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