Metro Times 07-06-22

2 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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NEWS & VIEWS Feedback Detroit rapper Peezy was not happy with our cover story feature, which included a brief mention about the federal charges that landed him behind bars. “ This was supposed to be positive and ya’ ll found a way to try and ruin my character,” he wrote on I nstagram.

I read th e articl e. It’s a g ood read, it’s j ust a sm al l part in th ere about @ peez y _ _ te fed case because I’m g uessing h e m entioned it. O utside of th at it’s sh ining l ig h t on th e h istory of h is career, rel ationsh ips w ith oth er artists l ike P ay , R io, V ez z o etc. Its a g ood read. @ peez y _ _ te I didn’t see th em th row ing y ou under th e bus bro. I enj oy ed it. I see a sel f m ade nig g a from th e crib

stil l sh ining th roug h adv ersity , pain and l oy al ty . T h at’s j ust m e th oug h .

— @ shamarr_ w, I nstagram T h is articl e w as a g reat read. A side from th e sm al l m ention of h is fed case w h ich is publ ic record. It spoke a l ot about h is accom pl ish m ents and h is tim e in th e rap g am e. H e didn’t h av e it easy , h e h ad to g et it out th e m ud. T h is is a g reat story about som eone w h o m ade it despite th e odds being ag ainst h im . T h is articl e tol d h is story , tol d no l ies and @ peez y _ _ te D etroiters are proud to cal l y ou our ow n.

T h e articl e sh ares sev eral positiv es about Peezy. That case didn’t define Peezy, his m usic and th e im pression h e l eft on our city does. — @jaf127, I nstagram o

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Vol. 42 | No. 37 | July 6-12, 2022

News & Views Feedback ............................... 4 Informed Dissent .................. 6 The Incision........................... 8

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metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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NEWS & VIEWS

Clown court: Extremists don’t care about torching SCOTUS’s legitimacy.

PUBLIC DOMAIN

Informed Dissent

On fire

By Jeffrey C. Billman

Last month, five ex

trem ists on th e S uprem e C ourt dism antl ed abortion rig h ts by g iv ing states th e rig h t to dictate w om en’s h eal th care ch oices.

A few h ours before I w rote th is, on th e h eel s of a series of m ass sh ooting s, th ose sam e ex trem ists — pl us a ch ief j ustice w h o appears m oderate onl y by com parison — rul ed th at th e rig h t to carry g uns is so sacrosanct th at it m atters not w h eth er states’ restrictions do sil l y th ing s l ike sav e l iv es.

In both cases, th e m aj ority w il l l ikel y h av e draw n on erroneous ( J ustice S am uel A l ito on abortion) and sel ectiv e ( J ustice C l arence T h om as on g uns) h istorical interpretations to w rap th eir ideol og ical fanaticism in orig inal ist flim-flam. The defining principle of contem porary j urisprudence, it seem s, is th at w e’re stuck w ith w h atev er th e 1 8 th -century patriarch s w h o founded th is country fail ed to env ision — assault rifles, women not being their h usband’s property , etc. — because “ h istorical tradition” trum ps not j ust dem ocracy but com m on g oddam n sense. “ T o j ustify its reg ul ation, ” T h om as w rote in New York State Rifle & Pistol Association Inc. v. Bruen, “ th e g ov ernm ent m ay not sim pl y posit th at th e reg ul ation prom otes an im portant interest. R ath er, th e g ov ernm ent m ust

dem onstrate th at th e reg ul ation is consistent w ith th is N ation’s h istorical tradition of firearm regulation.”

T o driv e h om e h ow absurd th is “ h istorical tradition” rational e is: T h e N ew Y ork g un l aw th e S uprem e C ourt struck dow n is m ore th an a century ol d. Roe v. Wade died j ust sh ort of its 0th birthday. The Supreme Court first recog niz ed an indiv idual ’s rig h t to ow n a g un for sel f-defense — not carry a g un outside of th e h om e, j ust own it — in … 2008 .

A s M ich ael W al dm an, president of th e B rennan C enter for J ustice, pointed out in th e Washington Post: “ In 1 7 9 1 , w h en th e S econd A m endm ent w as ratified, New ork City had 33,000 residents. T oday it h as m ore th an 8 m il l ion. T o m e, as a resident of N ew Y ork C ity , th e notion th at th ousands or h undreds of th ousands of peopl e m ig h t be w al king around arm ed, th inking th em sel v es a ‘ g ood g uy w ith a g un, ’ is, frankl y , terrify ing .”

J ustice T h om as, w h o h asn’t resig ned despite h is w ife’s participation in D onal d T rum p’s coup attem pt, sh rug g ed th at aside. “ It is true th at peopl e som etim es cong reg ate in ‘ sensitiv e pl aces, ’ and it is l ikew ise true th at l aw enforcem ent professional s are usual l y presum ptiv el y av ail abl e in th ose l ocations, ” T h om as

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w rote. “ … [ B ut] th ere is no h istorical basis for New ork to effectively declare th e isl and of M anh attan a ‘ sensitiv e pl ace’ sim pl y because it is crow ded and protected g eneral l y by th e N ew Y ork C ity P ol ice D epartm ent.”

T h ink about T h om as’ l og ic: N ew Y ork can’t stop peopl e from carry ing g uns in M anh attan just because M anh attan is al ready sw arm ing w ith arm ed cops to protect m asses of soft targ ets. A g ain, safety is secondary to T h om as’ bel ief th at J am es M adison — w h o w rote th e S econd A m endm ent 4 4 y ears before th e C ol t rev ol v er h it th e m arket — didn’t m ean any th ing by th e w ords “ w el l -reg ul ated m il itia” but was fine with randos packing Glocks in M idtow n.

M ake no m istake. T h is rul ing w il l l ead to prev entabl e death s. Bruen directly affects about a quarter of the country ’s popul ation — residents of N ew Y ork and six states w ith sim il ar conceal ed-carry l aw s. C oincidental l y , they include the five states with the l ow est per-capita rates of g un v iol ence, as w el l as C al ifornia ( N o. 7 ) and M ary l and ( N o. 1 8 ) .

T h at’s not to say N ew Y ork’s l aw didn’t h av e probl em s th at needed to be addressed. A s a g roup of th e state’s publ ic defenders ex pl ained: “ N ew Y ork enacted its firearm licensing require-

m ent in th e earl y 20th century to prev ent im m ig rants and peopl e of col or from possessing g uns. S ince its enactment, the law has justified discriminatory pol icing and crim inal iz ation of B l ack and brow n peopl e l iv ing in urban l ow -incom e com m unities.”

In m ore capabl e h ands, th e C ourt coul d h av e struck dow n N ew Y ork’s l aw because of its discrim inatory nature. ut fighting discrimination doesn’t jibe w ith T h om as’ apparent g oal of returning th e U nited S tates to a tim e before flush toilets.

The effect of Bruen doesn’t both er m e as m uch as th e reasoning th at del iv ered it. B ecause as m uch as th e m aj ority tried to m inim iz e th e scope of its radical ism — A l ito: “ A l l th at w e decide in th is case is th at th e S econd A m endm ent protects th e rig h t of l aw -abiding peopl e to carry a g un outside th e h om e for sel f-defense” — th e practical effect of Bruen’s “ h istorical tradition” dem ands w il l ev iscerate g un l aw s for decades to com e.

B ut th e real takeaw ay from Bruen — and, now , from Dobbs, th e abortion case — is th at th e m aj ority doesn’t care about torch ing w h at l ittl e l eg itim acy it h as l eft. It cares onl y about furth ering its ideol og ical ag enda.

A s I’v e m entioned before — as w e sh oul d al w ay s m ention w h en discussing th is iteration of th e R oberts C ourt — R epubl ican presidents h av e w on th e popul ar v ote once since 1 9 8 8 , y et th ey ’v e appointed six of th e C ourt’s nine j ustices. D em ocratic senators represented about 4 0 m il l ion m ore A m ericans th an th e R epubl icans w h o confirmed Trump’s appointees.

A C ourt instal l ed by a m inority is enforcing th e w h im s of th e m inority on th e m aj ority — cl aim ing federal ism w h en doing so is conv enient, ig noring it w h en it’s not.

In 1937, fresh off a landslide reelection but w ith a conserv ativ e S uprem e C ourt bl ocking key el em ents of th e N ew D eal , P resident F rankl in R oosev el t tol d th e A m erican peopl e, “ W e cannot y iel d our constitutional destiny to th e personal j udg m ent of a few m en w h o, being fearful of th e future, w oul d deny us th e necessary m eans of deal ing w ith th e present.”

T h e court-packing pl an h e l aid out in th at radio address fam ousl y fail ed — th oug h not entirel y . S upport col l apsed onl y after court-packing becam e unnecessary ; after F D R ’s th reat, th e C ourt g rew suddenl y am enabl e to h is reform s.

T h ere’s a l esson for m odern D em ocrats w atch ing a rev anch ist C ourt unrav el a century of prog ress. S o l ong as th e C ourt’s radical s feel unassail abl e, th e m ore radical th ey ’l l becom e.

Get more at billman.substack.com.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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NEWS & VIEWS

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel.

COURTESY PHOTO

The Incision

On the frontlines of the fight for reproductive rights

By Abdul El-Sayed

We’ve known the Roe v. Wade decision w as com ing for a m onth now .

In fact, w e sh oul d h av e know n it w as com ing ev en before th en. W e sh oul d h av e know n it w as com ing w h en S en.

M itch M cC onnel l subv erted th e U .S .

C onstitution to deny P resident O bam a a S uprem e C ourt N om inee. W e sh oul d h av e know n it w as com ing w h en th at seat w ent to J ustice N eil G orsuch . W e sh oul d h av e know n it w as com ing w h en th ey ram m ed J ustice B rett K av anaug h into a seat. A nd w e sh oul d h av e know n it w h en th ey nom inated J ustice A m y Coney arrett to fill the seat left by the untim el y passing of J ustice R uth B ader G insburg .

W e sh oul d h av e know n it al l al ong .

B ut until th e oth er sh oe dropped l ast m onth , I didn’t real iz e h ow m uch I h ad been deny ing w h at w as obv ious before our ey es.

P ondering th e ful l scope of th e im pl ications of th e S uprem e C ourt’s obscene rul ing , I’m real iz ing j ust h ow m any facets of l ife th is w il l destroy for m il l ions of peopl e. It’s easy , w h en y our j ob h as y ou sitting in robes in a steril e

court room to th ink th at th e issues y ou’re deciding upon are steril e, too — th at th ey ex ist onl y in th e abstract counterfactual s y ou m anipul ate in y our m ind. B ut h av ing trained in cl inics and h ospital s to treat real peopl e in real pl aces, one appreciates j ust h ow m uch m essier l ife real l y is. M ost peopl e don’t real iz e th ey ’re preg nant for w eeks or ev en m onth s after th ey ’v e conceiv ed.

D ecisions about v iabil ity rel y on probabil istic ev idence th at’s easil y secondg uessed by an ex pert w itness in court.

P eopl e w h o are desperate to h av e ch il dren rel y on in v itro fertil iz ation, w h ich inv ol v es creating sev eral em bry os th e destruction of w h ich th is rul ing coul d conj ure as abortion.

M ich ig an’s A ttorney G eneral , D ana N essel , saw al l of th is com ing in its raw est, m ost com pl ex perm utations. S h e w arned us about it. S h e and I ran for o ce at the same time, and I was honored to read her o cial nomination as th e D em ocratic candidate back in 201 8 .

D uring h er cam paig n, sh e rel eased an ad in w h ich sh e w as h ol ding a h ang er in a prov erbial back al l ey , tal king about

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h ow critical it w as th at sh e be el ected to protect M ich ig anders sh oul d Roe fal l . S h e w as w idel y panned by establ ish m ents on both sides of th e aisl e as al arm ist. et here we are. She finds herself now as one of th e l ast l ines of defense in a state w ith a 1 9 3 1 abortion ban th at renders aiding and abetting an abortion in any w ay a fel ony . S o today , I w anted to bring y ou h er perspectiv e from an interv iew I recorded for m y podcast America Dissected. W e transcribed and edited it for cl arity : Abdul: A.G. Nessel, thank you so much for taking the time to join us — particularly in this moment when it feels like crisis upon crisis, none more urgent than the fall of Roe. Can you tell us what the fall of Roe means to you?

Dana: I had been predicting this, as you know, for many years — especially in the last month. We were certain that this was going to happen based on the leak from the court.

But on Friday, I really can’t even

describe the feeling that I had. The hollowness and desperation, knowing that this fundamental right that I’ve enjoyed my entire life swept out from beneath us. I don’t think it’s a secret that I am not a woman of reproductive age any longer. But I can’t imagine during the years that I was knowing that, abortion would be not just unavailable in Michigan, but a felony.

When you ran you cut an ad, which a lot of folks in the sort of establishment across both parties scoffed at. You shot the ad in a back alley, holding a coat hanger to highlight the possibility that this might happen and that if you were elected, you’d be in a position to have to defend the right to choose. How does it feel that you’re now in that position where it’ll fall on your shoulder to protect abortion rights for Michiganders?

I don’t feel great about it. Obviously, I wish that this was a turn of events that never occurred. It was so clear and obvious to me that it wasn’t a

possibility, but a likelihood.

During Justice Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings, those who were close with then-President Trump made it very clear that there would be a strict vetting process for anyone who was going to make the shortlist for a nomination for the Supreme Court.

Groups like the Heritage Foundation, were going to ensure that there were no David Souter’s anymore. These groups ensured that anybody who made their shortlist — Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett — would be prepared to overturn Roe. That was very clear.

And looking at the ages of the Justices going into Trump’s term, I was positive that Trump would get at least two appointments. I didn’t know he’d be getting three. That’s a lot for any president. They’ve had the votes even since Trump’s administration. It’s almost shocking that it took a few more years for them to actually overturn Roe. And then as soon as they took the Mississippi case and refused to put a stay in place on the Texas case, the writing was on the wall. It was clear this was going to happen.

pressure, which can lead to mortality while either during the course of a pregnancy or during childbirth. But if that’s a 40% chance, is that enough to save her life? I would say it’s doubtful.

I don’t know if that would be considered enough in a court of law.

So now that the right to a safe legal abortion up until the the time of of fetal viability is gone, it falls to individual states. In Michigan, what is the current law on the books?

There’s actually a number of them.

There’s a 1931 law that’s been the subject of a lot of discussion lately.

That is a four-year felony offense to provide an abortion — for physicians and anybody who aids and abets in the provision of an abortion. That can be the assistant attendant medical staff, or even the receptionist who makes the appointment. If he or she knows what the appointment is for, they are just as guilty as the principal actor. For all of the people involved, it’s a four year felony. There’s also a one year misdemeanor that’s involved for dispensing abortion medication.

And what a lot of people don’t know is there’s a manslaughter provision that remains on the books for certain circumstances.

So there’s a litany of abortion-related laws that prevent the availability of abortion — at least legally. And I should say this: there’s no exception for rape. There’s no exception for incest. The only instance in which an abortion would be legal is to “save the life of the woman.”

But we don’t have any case law and we don’t have anything in the statute that provides a definition of that. So it’s unclear if you’re exempt if you have an issue like high blood

Now that Roe has fallen, what does that mean for access to a safe, legal abortion in the state of Michigan?

Right now, there is a preliminary injunction in place. There are a couple of cases that were filed prior to the Dobbs leak. One is a case that the governor filed against a number of county prosecutors in jurisdictions where they have abortion clinics available.

And one is a case where Planned Parenthood sued the state. It was assigned to Court of Claims Judge Elizabeth Gleicher. It is an interesting case. Planned Parenthood was essentially saying we want the attorney general not to enforce this 1931 law.

And I said, great, I’m not going to enforce the law. But the judge issued a preliminary injunction to stop the enforcement of this four-year felony for not just me, but all 83 county prosecutors. Her reasoning was that she felt the plaintiffs, Planned Parenthood, were likely to prevail on their claims, so she put a stay on the enforcement of this provision during the pendency of the litigation.

That’s a long way of saying for right now this stay is in place. However, the Republican legislature has intervened in the case and they’re asking for the Court of Appeals to set aside that preliminary injunction. If the Court of Appeals listens and sets aside the preliminary injunction, then the 1931 law would be enforceable immedi-

When you start putting limitations like this in place, they presume that medical science is perfect and it’s a series of yes or no decisions, rather than what it actually is, which is a series of probabilities that are best left to a practitioner to make a decision. And when you start putting potential and legal consequences on the end of making the “wrong decision” that someone in a court of law could second guess, then you’re going to start to see a lot more conservative decision making. It freezes the capacity of doctors in that circumstance, which is, in theory, carved out in the law. Not only will this mean that people will die when obtaining unsafe and, now, illegal abortions, it also means doctors are going to be far less wiling to say when a mother is at true risk, due to the fear of the court.

ately. But we don’t expect a decision until August at the earliest.

Should we get to August and this law becomes enforceable, what happens then?

Hopefully what will happen is the injunction will stay in place. But if it does not, or if the law isn’t changed via the Reproductive Freedom for All ballot proposal, abortion will be illegal in our state except in circumstances involving saving the life of the mother.

I think that if that happens, physicians are going to be afraid of losing their professional liability insurance, which no doctor wants to practice without. But I represent LARA, the Board of Medicine, the Board of Nursing, and I am not going to strip any physician or nurse of their professional license in the state of Michigan.

I think physicians will be in a real bind because if they if they don’t perform the abortion and the patient dies, you could see a lawsuit ensuing.

But if they do perform the procedure well now, they can be prosecuted. So I think it’s a no-win situation for physicians. And I do think that there are going to be times where you have a patient that is in dire need of medical assistance and the doctor is too afraid to perform the procedure.

And let’s be honest. I mean, you’re going to have people all around the state that just are not going to have the wherewithal to to get to a state where it’s legal. The closest state will be Illinois. And for a lot of folks in the state — in Alpena, in Gogebic — there’s no way to get anywhere.

Others can’t get anywhere because they don’t have a vehicle or a driver’s license. They can’t even get to the next county over, let alone to Chicago.

It seems that in the short term, should this law take effect, you won’t prosecute and you’ll have a number of county prosecutors who won’t prosecute. Will it be the kind of situation where you have safe haven counties where the abortion ban will not be enforced? You could imagine someone coming to Ann Arbor — Washtenaw County prosecutor Eli Savit who won’t enforce and then the state won’t enforce. Is that what we’re looking at?

It would be nice for that to happen, but here’s the problem. Several of these provisions have a six-year statute of limitations. Now, come to November, say I don’t win. My opponent has been very clear that he will prosecute in all instances. And he’s actually said he doesn’t believe there are any circumstances where an abortion is required to save a woman’s life.

But even if I win in November, myself and Governor Whitmer are going to be term limited out. That would leave the opportunity for another Attorney General to come in and investigate something that happened five years ago. The chilling effect is not knowing.

There will be some doctors that will stand up and say “No, I’m going to do this no matter what.” But I don’t think the hospitals or health plans they’re working for will be okay with that.

They might get dropped.

It would be nice to think, “oh, great, Washtenaw, Wayne, Ingham, and Oakland would be safe haven counties.” But I don’t think it’s going to work that way. Abortion is going to be widely unavailable for people in the state. People will have to travel to another state or they’ll have to illegally smuggle abortion medication across the border.

We’ve already seen one of the state’s biggest health care systems change its policies despite the fact that abortion remains legal in this state, as you explained. Spectrum Beaumont has announced that they will not perform abortions unless they are in the instance where there is a question of the safety of the mother. And so that chilling effect is already taking place. It’s already happening in our state.

They ended up walking that back a few days ago. They received a lot of calls from elected officials who were upset because they weren’t following the current state law. But also, I think there were a number of patients who called. State Representative Regina Weiss, who represents Huntington Woods, is four months pregnant with twins and she has a Beaumont doctor. She said, “I’m really scared. What if something goes wrong with my pregnancy? I’m switching doctors.” I think there were enough people that threatened to switch doctors since it’s still legal here and there are other health care systems that will provide a board of procedures if necessary.

When I saw it, I was flabbergasted that this was the case. But you can come to appreciate where a institution might say, “well, this is where we think things are going, so we might as well get ahead of it now, or we can leverage the Supreme Court’s smokescreen here to appeal to a particular segment of the population and engage in the political overtures that this is already allowing us to make.”

Let me just interject something that I know is not comfortable to talk about,

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but we have to have this conversation.

There were roughly 28,000 abortions in Michigan last year. We’re already failing with the foster care system as it is right now. The state is constantly facing significant lawsuits because not enough money is placed into the foster care system. And how are we going to manage that? Because I haven’t heard anything from Republicans in the legislature who appealed the Court of Appeal’s ruling. I haven’t heard anything about appropriating additional money to help poor women during the course of their pregnancy.

That’s a lot of additional children that will be born that will require an insane amount of resources. And again, are we just trying to ensure that these children are born and then we don’t care what happens to them afterwards? Or are we dedicated to helping them after the point in which they come out into the world?

You’re raising this point where the only way you can plausibly call their agenda pro-life is if you think life ends at childbirth. There’s no investment in people who are alive today. You couldn’t conjure a world where the same folks who have worked so hard to take away the rights under Roe v. Wade would also support universal child care or paid family leave. I mean, it is this notion that you only care about that point to birth and then you let go.

It’s absurd to me. Your point is well taken. What are we doing? Without that kind of expansion, we’re going to be in a situation where we’re left with children whose parents do not have the means to be able to care for them, and where the state has fundamentally disinvested in the system to care for them. And you appreciate the hypocrisy of this position when you think about it that way.

What really bothered me about the majority opinion — of the many things that bothered me — is Justice Alito goes to great lengths to talk about all the childless couples out there that would love to adopt these kids. And it’s so naive to say that. I’m sure there is quite a market for perfect, no health issues, little white babies with blond hair, blue eyes. I’m sure they would get snapped up in a second. But let me tell you this, for the children that don’t get adopted — oftentimes children of color, many times children with these extreme challenges mentally or physically — that is a lie.

The other part of this, which is incredibly disingenuous, is that the same people who want to impose

I feel like the religious right has completely taken over this country and they’re making decisions for all the rest of us, even though the vast majority of Americans want birth control to remain legal. forced pregnancy want to make zero investment in preventing pregnancy that is unwanted to begin with. And that is another piece of this that I just cannot wrap my mind around. To say that we’re not going to invest at all in helping you prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

And then if you should get pregnant, we are going to take away your right to a safe, legal abortion.

And then we’re not going to invest in the child after they’re born. It is just absurd to me. And when you look at Planned Parenthood as an organization, they spend 97% of their dollars on pregnancy prevention. And so I just can’t understand the world where you think that somehow the pregnancy that is forced is the best possible outcome. And that’s the world they’re constructing.

It’s even worse than that because Justice Thomas in his concurring opinion said he believes that Griswold v. Connecticut was wrongly decided.

That was the seminal 1965 case that made contraception access legal to all in this country.

But, you know, all of the Republicans who ran against me believe that Griswold v. Connecticut was wrongly decided and that would allow state legislatures in all states to create a new felony for those who want to sell and purchase and use birth control.

They can literally make it a crime in this state to engage in safe sex. That’s not just a birth control issue, it’s also a sexually transmitted disease issue. It’s a very bad idea to do that.

I feel like the religious right has completely taken over this country and they’re making decisions for all the rest of us, even though the vast majority of Americans want birth control to remain legal. And yet we have this tiny fraction of the public — or I should say those in positions of power — who are making decisions for all the rest of us. And I think that our allies overseas are just absolutely horrified by what’s happening in America right now.

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To your point, this wasn’t the only Supreme Court case that came down. Just last week, we saw a case that interpreted the Second Amendment in the most extreme way, which gets us to this world where anyone can have any gun anywhere at any time. And we’ve also seen a case that they’re about to rule on around the administrative state and what agencies like the EPA or the FDA can do in terms of interpreting the law and being able to promulgate rules.

We’re seeing a major takeover almost by a minoritarian piece of our society through the courts to rewrite the rules of American life.

What do you make of this and how do we fight back?

You know, I don’t usually pitch books or anything while I’m doing interviews, but there’s this book I read called Dark Money. It sort of explains this long term plan by the Koch brothers, the devices of many others, and how they were going to eliminate basically all environmental regulations and and issues like the Second Amendment, abortion access, etc.

And their plan seemingly has worked out well for them. They were really in it for the long game.

It’s going to be hard with the Supreme Court being what it is — three Trump appointees, all very young.

They’ll probably have another three decades on the bench. That’s a long time. So the only thing we can really do is vote, vote, vote. Make sure we keep both chambers federally and that we get additional Democrats into the Senate who will defy the filibuster.

And elect a few more Democrats in the state legislature, keep the governor’s office.

We need federal laws in place to protect things like marriage equality.

If we had one we wouldn’t have to worry about Obergefell v Hodges.

Likewise, in Michigan, if we had laws in place we’d be more safe. We can do that. I understand that people want to ignore politics and it’s so overwhelming. And there are things

happening every 3 minutes and you don’t know who to believe. But people need to get out and vote each and every election. This has to be a regular function of people’s everyday lives or our democracy will cease to exist. And we’re on the cusp of that right now. We’re seeing what happens when people stop paying attention and the government can start doing whatever it wants because you haven’t investigated enough and you haven’t invested enough to devote wisely.

Where can folks go to learn more about you and support you and your campaign?

Well, you can go to my website dananessel.com.

But, if you’re reading this, you are already very interested in these subjects. But you might have friends or family members or people in your community that aren’t as tuned in.

And I think it’s incumbent upon all of us to make sure that each and every person understands the consequences of sitting out this election. I know that people are sick and tired of hearing like, well, this is the most important election of our lifetimes. Okay, well, no, it’s this one. Well, now it’s the next one. Oh, gosh. When is that ever going to end? Well, it is never going to end. That’s why you have to vote every time. Every election is important, but this one now is especially important because the people who are running against myself and Jocelyn Benson are the most far right, fringy candidates that have ever appeared on the ballot for a major party in the history of our state. That’s not hyperbole. It’s true. Republicans will tell you that.

They’re proud of it.

They are there to install Donald Trump into his second term and for no other reason. And they have said as much and he has said as much. So if you believe in the concept and the antiquated notion of democracy, then you really have to support Jocelyn Benson and myself, I know we’re down ballot. It’s not as sexy as being a United States senator or being a governor.

But this time, especially, our offices are equally as important.

Absolutely. Attorney General Nessel, we really appreciate you taking the time.

Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

Originally published June 28 in The I ncision. Get more at abdulelsayed. substack.com.

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FEATURE

The

Year of the

Bird A look back at the peak season of Detroit Tigers pitcher Mark Fidrych’s legendary career

By Joe Lapointe LATE THAT RAINY NIGHT, in a cl uttered room on a h ig h floor of Detroit’s Pontchartrain hotel, they kept tapping on the door, soft, female knuckles knocking on hard wood. The young women said they only wanted the autograph of Mark “The ird” Fidrych, the sensational rookie right-handed pitcher of the Detroit Tigers.

He signed for them but did not let them in. How could he? All the chairs, beds, and floor spaces were already filled with his mother, his father, his three sisters, two reporters (I was one of them), and a representative from Ford Motor Company, which had just given “The ird” a brand-new Thunderbird.

This was mid-July of 197 , in the peak weeks of a singular season of baseball brilliance, a mythic moment of magic around an athlete (a rookie!) like nothing ever seen before then and not witnessed since. This was the ear of The ird.

Regrettably, this moment also preceded the injuries that ended his career way too soon and also the freakish mechanical mishap that ended his life far too soon. All that gets recounted in due time. ut, first, oh, boy, we must scroll back and rewind to that rainy night in the icentennial Summer of ’7 .

A couple of hours before, at nearby Tiger Stadium, Fidrych had pitched another complete game before another capacity crowd. ut he lost, 1-0, to Dennis Leonard of the Kansas City Royals in a duel that 14 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

GETTY IMAGES

Mark Fidrych signing autographs.

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took onl y tw o h ours and th ree m inutes before 5 1 , 04 1 ch anting , ch eering , sq ueal ing fans. N eith er th e defeat nor th e sh ow er th at cam e after th e g am e coul d discourag e th e th ousands who remained after the final out. “ W e w ant B ird! ” th ey ch anted. “ W e w ant B ird! ” T h ey stay ed to dem and a curtain cal l from F idry ch — a bow , a tip of th e cap, a sm il e, a w av e, any th ing .

H is record h ad fal l en to 9 -2, but h e h ad pitch ed bril l iantl y ag ain after being ch osen for th e M L B A l l -S tar G am e. N o l ong er j ust a l ocal star, F idry ch w as a national cel ebrity . “ W e w ant B ird! ” th ey ch anted. “ W e w ant B ird! ” y then, Fidrych had stripped off h is uniform in th e cl ubh ouse and w as chugging his first beer as reporters surrounded h im . A security m an w ith a w al kie-tal kie pl eaded patientl y w ith T h e B ird to return to th e dug out and pl ease th e fans so th e stadium coul d be cl eared and sw ept.

B ut curtain cal l s w ere rare enoug h after a v ictory , and F idry ch didn’t w ant one after a defeat. “ A w , naw , m an. O h , sh it, g eez , w ow , ” F idry ch said to th e stadium o cial.

S til l , th e fans insisted and th e m an persisted. E v en th oug h m ost of the stadium field lights were now doused, th e dem ands of th e fans ech oed th roug h th e concrete corridors. “ W e w ant B ird! ” th ey ch anted. “ W e w ant B ird! ” E v entual l y , th e m an tal ked F idry ch into th row ing on a pair of j eans and a w arm up j acket. T h e B ird — a 21 -y earol d w h o seem ed ev en y oung er — bounded dow n th e cl ubh ouse runw ay to th e dug out to w av e at th e fans and to be kissed on th e ch eek by a pretty g irl .

U nder th e stadium ’s rem aining ray s of el ectric l ig h t, h is sm il e of ev en teeth g l eam ed and h is bl ond curl s g l istened in th e soft sum m er rain.

E v en if M ark “ T h e B ird” F idry ch h ad been a boring v eteran j ourney m an and noth ing special to l ook at, h is 1 9 7 6 statistics w oul d be astonish ing — in h is era or in any oth er.

W orking for th e 1 7 th -best team in th e 24 -team m aj or l eag ues, F idry ch didn’t make his first start until May 1 5 — m ore th an a m onth into th e season — but finished the year with a w on-l oss record of 1 9 -9 and an earned run av erag e of 2.3 4 , th e best in th e A m erican L eag ue.

H e al so com pil ed a l eag ue-best 24

This was mid-July of 1976, in the peak weeks of a singular season of baseball brilliance, a mythic moment of magic around an athlete (a rookie!) like nothing ever seen before then and not witnessed since.

com pl ete g am es. T h at l ast statistic w oul d be inconceiv abl e in 21 stcentury basebal l , w ith pitch ers rarely finishing games they start. In addition, T h e B ird w on th e R ookie of th e Y ear v ote in th e A m erican L eag ue and finished second for the Cy oung A w ard.

B y both th e statistical standards of 1 9 7 6 and m ore m odern m etrics, F idry ch ’s num bers are ex ceptional . A ccording to th e rel ativ el y new com putation of “ W ins A bov e R epl acem ent” ( W A R ) , F idry ch ’s retro-com puted W A R rating for th at season w as 9 .6 , th e best am ong m aj or-l eag ue pitch ers, w el l ah ead of th e second-pl ace V ida B l ue at 7 .6 .

A nd statistics m erel y h int at th e bril l iant ch arism a of T h e B ird in 1 9 7 6 . A m ong th e stars in th e sky of sports, th ere are bodies of v aried brightness and beauty in a fixed firmament. Most are like nearby pl anets and distant suns: adm irabl e and predictabl e.

Fidrych was different — a comet, perh aps, or an asteroid, or m ay be a m eteor or th e kind of sh ooting star y ou m ig h t see in th e sum m er nig h t in th e M ich ig an sky before asking a com panion, “ D id y ou see th at? ” or “ W h at th e h eck w as th at? ” or j ust sim pl y , “ W ow ! ” T h ey cal l ed h im “ T h e B ird” because a coach in th e m inors said h is l ong , bl ond curl s m ade h im l ook l ike “ B ig B ird” from Sesame Street and th at “Fidrych” (FID-rich) was too tough to pronounce. O th ers com pared h is l ook to H arpo M arx of th e M arx B roth ers and to R og er D al try , l ead sing er of T h e W h o.

A t 6 -foot-3 and 1 7 5 pounds, F idry ch h ad th e ung ainl y g ait of a y outh stil l g row ing into h is adul t body. He rarely walked onto the field — h e bounded. R ath er th an stand stil l on th e m ound betw een pitch es, h e sh ifted h is torso l eft to rig h t and back and forth , nerv ousl y tw itch ing

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th is w ay and th at.

H e bent h is knees for sq uats. H e knel t on th e m ound and used h is hands to fill dirt into small holes left by oth er cl eats.

D id h e tal k to th e bal l ? P erh aps — it sure l ooked th at w ay . H e certainl y tal ked to h im sel f, at tim es, as h e h el d th e bal l in h is rig h t h and in front of h is face, som etim es ch anting th e w ord “ Flow … flow.” In the opposing dug out, riv al pl ay ers w oul d step up to th e front rail ing to w atch h im m ore cl osel y .

M ost foes q uickl y perceiv ed th at F idry ch w as not “ h ot-dog g ing ” or taunting th em . O ne ex ception, at least at first the New ork ankees, a g rouch y bunch of sore w inners in th at era. T h eir star catch er, T h urm an M unson, cal l ed F idry ch “ bush ” and F idry ch said, w ith out g uil e, “ W h o’s T h urm an M unson? ” Y ankees second basem an W il l ie R andol ph said, “ T el l th at g uy if h e pulls that stuff in New ork, we’ll bl ow h is fucking ass out of tow n.

Y ou w ant to send a l ine driv e rig h t through his head.” Rico Carty, of Cleveland, wondered aloud whether F idry ch w as try ing to h y pnotiz e h im .

B ut ev en th e Y ankees soon discov ered F idry ch to be g enuine. P art of h is freakish dominance flowed not only from h is tw itch es but al so from h is pitches. They flew from his hand at al m ost tw ice th e rate of m ost pitch ers.

Fidrych fired the ball every eight to 1 0 seconds. M ost pitch ers take at l east tw ice th at tim e, ev en back th en.

B etw een tosses, h is body seem ed to v ibrate or trem bl e l ike th at of a h y peractiv e adol escent, w h ich , indeed, h e h ad been not l ong before.

N o g am e h ad a tem po l ike one pitch ed by F idry ch . H e w orked l ike a y oung m an in a h urry , w ith so m uch to do in such a sh ort span of tim e. “ G o, B ird, G o! ” th e fans ch anted from th e g randstands. “ G o, B ird, G o! ” A fter a h itter entered th e batter’s

box, Fidrych rarely stepped off the rubber, much less the mound. If th e batter stepped out of th e box to disrupt h is rh y th m , T h e B ird w oul d stand th ere and stare h im dow n to l ev erag e th e tension ag ainst th e batter.

H is pitch es al m ost al w ay s found th e strike z one, forcing h itters to eith er sw ing or take a cal l ed strike. “ H e coul d th row th at th ing through a keyhole,” said Jeff Hogan, th e coach w h o g av e h im h is nicknam e.

B ecause h e th rew l ow sl iders and a sinking fastbal l “ th at m ov ed, ” th e batters often grounded to the infield. That l ed to inning -ending doubl e pl ay s, w h ich l ed to F idry ch h opping from fielder to fielder to shake their hands as th ey dash ed to th e dug out. W h ich l ed to m ore ch anting from th e fans. “ G o, B ird, G o! ” th ey said. “ G o, B ird, G o! ” O ne of th e curious aspects of F idry ch g am es w as th at th e h om e fans rarel y l eft th eir ch airs — g reen and w ooden in th e ancient furniture of th e now -dem ol ish ed bal l park at M ich ig an and T rum bul l . T h ey stay ed aw ay from th e concession stands and th e rest room s w h en F idry ch w as on th e m ound.

F urth erm ore, m aj or-l eag ue bal l park atmosphere was different then.

B asebal l w as not y et el ong ated w ith th e tedious g am es of th e 21 st century , w h ere kids m ig h t take a ride on th e carousel or F erris w h eel beh ind th e g randstand during th e th ird h our of a four-h our g am e.

T h e stadium speaker sy stem s in 1 9 7 6 did not y et bom bard custom ers w ith bl asts of recorded m usical noise, fake ch ants, and th e sy nth etic rh y th m s of pseudo enth usiasm .

T h e sounds of crow ds for T h e B ird back th en w ere auth entic, and th ey incl uded th e scream s of y oung suburban g irl s w h o cam e to th e dow ntow n area in packed cars despite one of D etroit’s periodic crim e w av es.

T h is w as not j ust basebal l — th is w as B irdm ania.

T h e fol l ow ing y ear, F idry ch ’s rockstar persona l anded T h e B ird’s face on th e cov er of th e Rolling Stone, th e m ag az ine th at th en w as th e arbiter of w h at w as h ip, h is picture snapped by th e cel ebrated ph otog raph er A nnie L eibov itz . “ G o, B ird, G o! ” th ey ch anted. “ G o, B ird, G o! ” In some ways, his timing was ex q uisite. T h e y ear before, th e T ig ers w ere th e w orst team in basebal l and needed to rej uv enate th eir roster. T h e

Fidrych was nicknamed “The Bird” because his long, blond curls made him look like “Big Bird” from Sesame Street.

GETTY IMAGES

oth er D etroit sports team s — th e L ions, P istons, and R ed W ing s — w ere al so strug g l ing in th is era.

P l us, consider th e dem og raph ics.

W h en F idry ch broke in, th e ol dest B aby B oom ers w ere cel ebrating th eir 3 0th birth day s, w h il e th e y oung est w ere j ust turning 1 2. S o h e h it th e big bul g e in th e m iddl e of th e y outh m arket.

T o som e B oom ers in th ose y ears, basebal l seem ed too fusty and dul l for th e “ y outh cul ture.” T oo sq uare.

F idry ch j ol ted th e g am e w ith y outh ful energy. In a sports span that came to be defined by labor strife and soaring sal aries, h e acted as if h e’d pl ay for free.

A s th e ol d W arren Z ev on song from th at era put it, h e w as “ j ust an excitable boy.” At the time, I was an ex citabl e, 24 -y ear-ol d B aby B oom er at th e C hicago Sun-Times, w orking on th e copy desk a l ot th at sum m er, ang l ing and ach ing for som eth ing g ood to w rite. eing from Detroit, I followed Motor City teams closely and caught on to T h e B ird in th e l ate spring th roug h ph one cal l s and l etters from friends and sibl ing s in M ich ig an. A s h e kept winning, I began to lobby my editors to send m e to D etroit to w rite about th e ph enom enon.

Most of them shrugged it off, calling The ird a “flash in the pan,” noth ing to g et ex cited about. B ut th at ch ang ed after F idry ch defeated th e mighty ankees on A C’s Monday N ight Baseball on J une 28 to raise h is record to 8 -1 , w ith a 5 -1 v ictory in one h our and 5 1 m inutes before 4 7 , 8 5 5 T ig er S tadium custom ers and a national T V audience.

In the deeply reported biography The Bird: The Life and Legacy of Mark Fidrych, auth or D oug W il son w rote: “ T h e nex t day , M ark ( T h e B ird) F idry ch w as a national star. ‘ D id y ou see th at g uy l ast nig h t? ’ w as asked around w ater cool ers, in l unch room s, and at w orkpl aces across th e country .”

T h is tel ecast am ounted to h is com ing -out party , a l esser v ersion of the first appearance of the eatles on The Ed Sullivan Show 1 2 y ears before.

B asebal l on T V w as not w idel y av ail abl e th en in m any m arkets — not ev en for l ocal team s — and neith er w as cabl e T V . T h e T ig ers al l ow ed onl y 4 0 tel ecasts of a 1 6 2-g am e sch edul e.

And 197 was the first year of A C’s weekly national telecast on M onday nig h t. T h is national

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tel ev ision univ erse h ad onl y th ree netw orks, and F idry ch w as on one of th em .

Convinced finally that The ird w as a w orth y story , m y C h icag o editors decided to send m e back to m y h om etow n to cov er th e best sports narrative in the nation. This was one of th e better assig nm ents of m y career and one of best m em ories of m y l ife.

A fter F idry ch m ade h is curtain cal l in th e rain th at nig h t, I fol l ow ed h im back from the field and through the dug out and dow n th e tunnel as h e returned to th e cl ubh ouse. H e bounced ov er to h is l ocker and pl ay ed C ookie M onster by passing around to reporters a pl ate of ch ocol ate-ch ip cookies som eone h ad sent h im .

O f course, a reporter asked h im about tal king to th e bal l .

“It’s a gimmick,” The ird told us th at nig h t. “ I tal k to cars, too.” In th ose day s, h e often spoke of w orking on cars and pum ping g as and m ay be m aking a l iv ing by dig g ing ditch es.

H e seem ed disarm ing l y unpretentious and spoke w ith th e h eav y accent of bl ue-col l ar M assach usetts.

H e g rew up in th e sem i-rural , sm al l tow n of N orth boroug h , about 3 5 miles west of oston. He lived all this l ife th ere and died th ere, too.

F idry ch pronounced th e w ord weird as wid, and h e used th at w ord a l ot. H is l ocker w as w eird, too, crowded with cartoons, flowers, bird statues, and a picture of an 8 1 -y earol d J apanese sh ot-putter. O n th at ph oto w ere scraw l ed attendance figures from home games The ird h ad pitch ed: 1 4 , 000, 1 7 , 000, 3 6 , 000, 3 2, 000, 4 8 , 000, 5 2, 000, and 5 1 , 04 1 .

A s m ost of th e pl ay ers dressed and l eft, F idry ch g radual l y real iz ed h e w oul d need to put on som e cl oth ing . W h il e w earing noth ing but a Muhammad Ali T-shirt, he got h eckl ed from across th e room by R on LeFlore, the center fielder.

“Hey, ird, would you like to do a Playgirl centerfol d? ” L eF l ore asked The ird, referring to a women’s m ag az ine th at featured ph otos of naked m en. “ W oul d y ou pose for a h undred bucks? ” “ N o.” “ H ow ’bout 1 0 g rand? ” “Ten-thousand?” The ird replied. “ I’d th ink about it.”

A t th e tim e, F idry ch earned onl y th e rookie m inim um of $ 1 6 , 5 00, al th oug h a roster l ong ev ity bonus w as

about to bum p h im up to $ 24 , 000.

O utside th e cl ubh ouse door, h is parents, P aul and V irg inia, w aited patiently. Mother ird showed me a string of rosary beads in h er h and. “ I feel I’v e l et m y M arkie dow n, ” sh e said. “They’ve never failed before.”

The family was visiting from Massach usetts, sh e said, and th is h ad been her first time on an airplane.

Her son finished high school two y ears l ate because h e h ad repeated both the first and second grades.

M ark w as th e h y peractiv e cl ass cl ow n, a kid h is friends cal l ed “ F id.”

H e both annoy ed and ch arm ed h is teach ers w ith h is restl ess energ y .

H is fath er, P aul F idry ch , al so taug h t sch ool and, to h is credit, real iz ed earl y on th at h is son w oul d nev er be a sch ol ar. S o h e coach ed h im in basebal l , th e th ing h e did best, and w oul dn’t l et h im q uit w h en M ark th reatened to g iv e up.

“We used to fight about that,” The ird said years later in an interview with TNT. “He’d say, Hey, you’re not the smartest kid. There’s money to be m ade in sports.’”

P aul F idry ch al so taug h t M ark a bl ue-col l ar w ork eth ic, sh ow ing h im h ow to pour concrete and h ow to scrap at j unky ards. O n th e day th e Tigers drafted him in the 10th round in 1 9 7 4 , M ark w as w orking at a g as station.

In th at h e l iked cars and h ad a mechanical knack, The ird was a natural fit for the Motor City. And in l ess th an tw o y ears, h e’d g one from pum ping g as to starting for th e A m erican L eag ue in th e A l l -S tar G am e in P h il adel ph ia, w h ere P resident G eral d F ord w oul d seek h im out in th e cl ubh ouse.

Y es, th e P resident of th e U nited S tates w anted to sh ake th e pitch ing ( and g as-pum ping ) h and of The ird. Entertainers like Frank Sinatra and Elton John wanted their photographs taken with The ird.

This was the bliss of irdmania in J ul y of 1 9 7 6 . “ I’l l nev er g et used to al l th is, ” F idry ch h ad said earl ier in th e m onth . “ W h at I’m g oing th roug h rig h t now is real l y a trip. It’s som eth ing th at I’l l al w ay s rem em ber. R ig h t now , I’m a h appy person and I pl an to stay th at w ay .”

H e certainl y seem ed th at w ay on th at nig h t in th at crow ded h otel room at the Pontchartrain. The fam il y dy nam ic w as ev ident. H e w as surrounded by l ov e, support, and protectiv e concern.

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No game had a tempo like one pitched by Fidrych.

He worked like a young man in a hurry, with so much to do in such a short span of time.

P aul F idry ch kept m ostl y q uiet, sitting in a corner ch air and l istening cl osel y to th e h ubbub buz z ing about h is son. H e ex pressed concern, however, about leaflets passed out in front of Tiger Stadium that night that said “ M ark F idry ch for M ay or.”

A noth er m essag e on th e printed paper, in sm al l er l etters, req uested donations to “ reakthrough,” a rightw ing radical g roup. O n th e back of the leaflet, above a picture of The ird, were the words “Recall oung,” cal l ing for th e rem ov al of C ol em an A . oung, Detroit’s first lack mayor.

M ark — a trusting y oung m an w h o saw th e best in peopl e — dism issed the leaflets as “no big deal,” one of his fav orite ph rases. “ A w , D ad, th ey ’re j ust peopl e, ” said The ird. “That’s life.”

Father ird didn’t disagree, but added: “ I know , M ark, I know . Y ou j ust stay the way you are. ou’re fine. ut be careful, Mark. And don’t sign any th ing .”

I cov ered one m ore F idry ch g am e th at season, W h ite S ox at D etroit, on W ednesday , A ug ust 25 , w h en F idry ch raised h is record to 1 5 -5 w ith a 3 -1 v ictory ov er C h icag o in one h our and 4 8 minutes before 39,88 Tiger Stadium fans w h o ch eered and ch anted and, ag ain, dem anded a curtain cal l .

F idry ch responded w ith a clenched-fist salute and came back to th e cl ubh ouse w ith th ree m ore bird dol l s in h is arm s. “ W h o’s g ot kids? ” h e asked, passing th em out to team m ates.

In th e oth er cl ubh ouse, P aul R ich ards, th e el derl y m anag er of th e Sox, told us “ abe Ruth didn’t cause th at m uch ex citem ent in h is brig h test day .” A fter g oing 0-for-4 , W h ite Sox left fielder Ralph Garr approved of th e F idry ch act as l eg itim ate sel fm otiv ation. “ I don’t th ink h e’d be as g ood a pitcher if he didn’t do that stuff,” Garr

said. “ H e’s not j iv in’. H e’s l ike C assius C l ay . H e can back it up.”

A sked y et ag ain to ex pl ain h is antics w h il e on th e m ound, F idry ch tol d us: “ Y ou g otta g et dow n and flow, flow, flow.”

I DIDN’T SEE The

ird in person ag ain for tw o m ore y ears and, by th en, our circum stances w ere much different. I’d changed jobs from th e C hicago Sun-Times to th e Detroit Free Press, and F idry ch w as reh abil itating h is inj ured pitch ing shoulder with the Lakeland Tigers of th e C l ass A F l orida S tate L eag ue, th e l ow m inors.

The Free Press sent m e dow n th ere to keep an ey e on h im , and h e w as w orth w atch ing . O ne ex am pl e cam e in West Palm each against the Montreal Expos’ farm team when a Lakel and team m ate g ot brush ed back by a beanbal l and sh outed ang ry w ords at the Expos’ pitcher.

F idry ch and h is bul l pen m ates j um ped up and ch arg ed onto th e field to join what looked like a brewing braw l . A fter tem pers cool ed, th e y oung L akel and m anag er took F idry ch aside and counsel ed h im . H e didn’t w ant to h av e to cal l h eadq uarters in D etroit th e nex t day to report th at th e team ’s m ost v al uabl e em ployee suffered a broken hand — or w orse — in a bush -l eag ue braw l . “ Y ou sit on th e dug out bench from now on, ” m anag er J im L ey l and tol d F idry ch . “ If som eth ing starts, y ou h ead for th e cl ubh ouse.”

S o instead of returning to th e bul l pen, F idry ch took a seat on th e dug out bench , sitting w ith a bat in h is h ands and scow l ing at th e W est P al m pitch er.

H e h ad m any oth er reasons to frow n. H is inj uries beg an in th e prev ious season, w h en F idry ch dam ag ed h is l eft knee in spring training

EMPLOYMENT

EMPLOYMENT

Data Architect, United Wholesale Mortgage, Pontiac, MI. Design & dvlp Data Pipelines,Extract, Transform & Load (ETL)/ Extract, Load, Transform (ELT), using SQL Server Integration Service (SSIS), Talend, Azure Synapse Data Pipelines, & Azure Data Factory. Design Online Transaction Processing (OLTP) & Online Analytical Processing (OLAP) data models incldg dimensional modeling using ER Studio Data Architect. Design & dvlp SQL Server Analysis Services (SSAS) Multidimensional/Tabular analytical cubes using SQL Server Data Tools (SSDT).

Design & dvlp business critical reports, dashboards & apps using Microsoft PowerBI & SQL Server Reporting Services (SSRS).

Architect & dvlp Cloud based Data Warehouse & Data Lake using Azure Synapse Analytics. Design & build Machine Learning (ML) data science data pipelines & Python custom libraries. Architect custom sys health monitoring apps using SQL Server Dynamic Management Views (DMVs). Design Data Replication using Qlik Replicate & SQL Server Availability Groups (AGs). Architect data retention frameworks using Transact-SQL (TSQL) & Azure Hosted Server less SQL databases. Bachelor, Computer Science, Computer or Electronical Engrg, Electronics & Telecommunication Engrg, or related. 60 mos exp as Engineer, Developer, Architect, Analyst, or related, dvlpg or performing SQL Server TSQL coding, using SSIS, SSAS & SSRS, & performing dimensional data modeling, orrelated. Mail resume to Ref#116, UWM, Human Resources, 585 S. Blvd E., Pontiac, MI 48341.

Hardware in the Loop (HIL) Application Engineer, Milford, MI, General Motors. Design, set up &maintain HIL test benches to perform real-time simulations for testing software on Engine Control Module (ECM). Collect ECM HW I/O specifs from System Engineers to create an electrical design of HIL test bench. Work w/ vendors including dSPACE to procure test benches based on design specs. Coordinate plant model rollout by Simulation team to support apps &features requested by user community.

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EMPLOYMENT End of Line (EOL) Assembly Verification Development Engineer, Milford, MI, General Motors. Develop, troubleshoot, &validate EOL assembly test apps using C in Visual Studio IDE for static, / alignment, &dynamic vehicle tests, using test head tool, for current/ future ICE psgr vehicles, &Hybrid/Battery Electric Vehicles. Code, maintain, &debug test apps using C/C++.

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12 mos exp as Engineer, testing &troubleshooting CAN bus messages in vehicle &on test bench, or related. Mail resume to Ref#310, GM Global Mobility, 300 Renaissance Center, 48265.

EMPLOYMENT Salesforce Developer, United Wholesale Mortgage, Pontiac, MI. Analyze business &technical requirements &design solutions by customizing standard objects of Salesforce.com &related platform based technologies incl Visualforce, Force.com API &Web Services.

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Anlyst, or related, developing or configuring Sales Cloud, Service Cloud, Custom Cloud &Apex programming on Force. com platform, or related. Mail resume to Ref#3260-722, UWM, Human Resources, 585 S. Blvd E., Pontiac, MI 48341.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

19

To some Boomers in those years, baseball seemed too fusty and dull for the “youth culture.”

Too square. Fidrych jolted the game with youthful energy.

of 1 9 7 7 w h il e fool ing around in th e outfield as he shagged fly balls in batting practice.

After recovering from cartilage surgery, he made his first start on May 27 at home and compiled a -2 record going into a July start in altimore.

Rusty Staub, a veteran teammate, was also the union representative among the players, and he worried that Fidrych was being rushed back too soon.

On the ML Network documentary, Staub said he expressed this concern to general manager Jim Campbell.

“I remember I went to Jim Campbell’s o ce and I said, ‘Jim, this kid doesn’t know anything but 100 percent,’” Staub said. “I said, ‘Why don’t you take your time in bringing him back? He’s so important to the game.’

And so nobody listened to me.”

Perhaps that was because Fidrych still sold tickets, with Tiger Stadium crowds of ,207, 7,23 , and 1,7 in 1977. He finished one of his victories in one hour and 39 minutes and another in 2 13. He pitched seven complete games.

“I’m feeling fine,” Fidrych said. “I’m in heaven right now.” ut fate’s dark shadow again crossed his path on that Independence Day in altimore, when he drew ,339 fans in old Memorial Stadium. Fidrych took a 2-0 lead and he was still The ird — until he wasn’t.

He suddenly felt pain and a deadness in his upper arm in the middle innings. They didn’t discover until years later that he’d torn his rotator cuff in two places.

The scene is described in Wilson’s biography through the eyes of a teammate.

“Mark threw a pitch and I thought, ‘That really looked weird,’” said fellow pitcher Dave Rozema, a rookie that season. “His motion was dif-

ferent. And the velocity of the pitch was way off. I said, ‘Wow, something happened.’ The next pitches were all hit hard.”

Fidrych later recalled it in a TNT interview.

“It just started getting tight,” Fidrych said. “After that, it was never the same.”

Fidrych didn’t know it then, but that injury would end his 1977 season and serve as the beginning of the end of his career. He would appear in only 1 more Tigers games in his final three partial major-league seasons before finishing up with three more years in the minors.

In the parlance of the era, 1978 had become a bummer for The ird.

When he visited Lakeland to get better, the Florida newspapers called him “surly,” a word never before heard about Fidrych.

After spending a few days around the team, I wrote in the July 30, 1978 editions of the Free Press: “In recent days the ird’s moods have ranged from chipper to pensive through various shades of blue. At times, he has been reclusive, ‘sleeping a lot,’ he says. He has prepared himself for the possibility that his future may be behind him. “‘. . . Lately, I’ve copped an attitude that was ungodly,’” Fidrych admitted. “‘ . . . With a bad arm, you start thinking.’ He describes himself as a ‘lonely man.’”

The Tigers sent a physical therapist named Gus Crouch to work with him in Florida, and he told me then that The ird’s “tendinitis” problem came from “throwing too hard when he was 21 years old.” Crouch would not predict a recovery.

“I don’t want to stick my neck out,” he said. He also fretted about how Fidrych jumped over short fences rather than use a gate nearby. He still had energy to burn but no way to burn it.

A fan in West Palm named Gary

20 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

Wellwood told me he’d recently moved there from Michigan to open a sandwich shop. Two years before, he said, he owned a beer store in Southgate, a suburb west of Detroit.

As a rookie, he said The ird was a regular customer.

“He’d come in after the games and buy a 12-pack of our cheapest beer and a bottle of pop wine to go with it,” Wellwood told me. “Then he would stand on the sidewalk in front of the store and talk with a ton of kids.”

The obvious question here is How did Fidrych injure his shoulder?

Fidrych later speculated that recovery from the knee injury caused him to alter his “landing” foot at the end of his pitch delivery, which may have altered the stress points in his arm and shoulder. This may have caused the tears in his rotator cuff.

A more skeptical theory often heard around baseball was that the Tigers had burned him out early and sold him short by overworking him in 197 because he was a cash cow who helped surge their home attendance from 1.0 8 million in 197 to 1. 7 million in 197 .

Fidrych worked 2 0 innings in 197 , a lot for a rookie who had never thrown that many. And all but one inning and a fraction of another came after May 1 . Thirteen of his 29 starts were on three days of rest. On a home stand in late August, he pitched three consecutive complete games in nine days, one of them 10 innings.

For whatever reasons, by the end of 1978, it was becoming clear that The ird would never again be the same.

“Mark Fidrych was slowly sinking in quicksand,” Wilson wrote. “The more he thrashed, the harder he tried, the farther his career slipped away. And no one knew why.”

Perhaps they didn’t know about the torn rotator cuff — it was too soon in medical technology to diagnose and fix it — but others had hunches that ranged from skeptical to cynical about The ird’s workload.

One person who fretted about the Tigers overworking Fidrych was his mother, Virginia, who said in a 1981 Associated Press story that she warned the general manager about it back in 197 .

“I told Campbell before and I’ll tell him again Mark was too young to be pitching that much,” Virginia Fidrych said. “They shouldn’t have kept pitching him. That was how he hurt his arm.”

That wasn’t the only Fidrych fric-

tion with the Detroit club. In 1980, after the Tigers demoted him to their Triple A farm club in Evansville, Indiana, Fidrych griped a little about losing valuable service days he needed on a major-league roster to qualify for a pension.

According to aseballReference. com, Fidrych earned 330,000 from the Tigers from 197 through 1979.

These figures are incomplete as far as his total professional career, but they reflect his highest earning plateau.

“This thing is nothing but business with them, and it’s costing me money,” Fidrych said in an Associated Press story quoted in the Wilson biography. “I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t lost any money for the Detroit Tigers.”

This annoyed Sparky Anderson, the new Detroit manager, who had no background with The ird.

“Have the Tigers paid him?” Anderson asked. “How many big crowds has he drawn in the last two and a half years?”

He drew precisely 8,3 1 customers on August 12 when he finally made his first major-league start of the 1980 season against oston, a defeat in an eight-inning outing. His last complete game in the majors was on Sept. 2, an 11-2 victory over the White Sox. His final home game on Sept. 2 against Toronto drew only 7,129 and Fidrych left after getting only two outs and giving up five runs. His final major-league appearance came on Oct. 1 at Toronto, an 11-7 Tigers victory in which Fidrych worked five innings to finish 1980 at 2-3.

Next came three seasons of struggle in the high minors. At Triple A Evansville in 1981, he reunited with Leyland, a manager moving up.

Fidrych went -3 with an earned run average of .7 .

The next year, after Evansville released him, he caught on with the oston farm team in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, a one-hour drive from his Massachusetts home. He finished 1982 at -8, and his ERA was .98.

Even in the minors, and far from his prime years, The ird still sold tickets, even when his injuries left him a ghost of his former self.

His last moment of glory came after the ankees temporarily demoted pitcher Dave Righetti to Triple A Columbus and “Rags” matched up against The ird before 9,389 fans in Pawtucket’s ,800-seat McCoy Stadium on July 1, 1982.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

21

W h en F idry ch h ung on for a 7 -5 com pl ete-g am e v ictory , “ suddenl y , it w as 1 9 7 6 ag ain, ” biog raph er W il son w rote. “ T h e crow d w as del irious. … A m id th e increasing roar of th e crow d, th e P aw tucket pl ay ers sw arm ed M ark j ust l ike, w el l , j ust l ike h e w as back in D etroit in th at m ag ical sum m er l ong ag o. … M ark bath ed in th e ch eers of ` B ird, B ird, B ird! ’” B ut a m ere y ear l ater — in m id1 9 8 3 , w ith a record of 2-5 and an E R A of 9 .6 8 — F idry ch retired at ag e 28 , w h en m any big -l eag ue ath l etes are at th eir peak.

In a 1 9 9 9 interv iew for E S P N ’s SportsC entury, F idry ch spoke tearful l y of w h at it w as l ike to report h is retirem ent by tel eph one to h is fath er. “ I said, ‘ D ad, I’m done, ’” F idry ch said. “ D idn’t w e h av e a g reat ride? ” “ H e g oes, ‘ Y eah , son, y ou did h av e a g reat ride.’ “ I said, ‘ Y eah . I’m done. L ife g oes on.’”

T h e fol l ow ing season, w h en h is form er T ig ers team m ates w on th e W orl d S eries, F idry ch w as l iv ing on h is farm in N orth boroug h , M assach usetts, and w atch ing th e 1 9 8 4 S eries from a box seat at T ig er S tadium .

ON THE OLD v

ideotape from 1 9 8 5 , M ark ( T h e B ird) F idry ch h as transitioned from a basebal l farm cl ub to h is ow n farm in central M assach usetts.

O v er h is l eft sh oul der in th e cam era fram e is a red barn. In a l ong interv iew for a tel ev ision special , h e speaks of w h at it w as l ike to adj ust to l ife w ith out basebal l . “ T o g et out m y frustration, I used to g o in th e w oods and j ust cut trees dow n, ” F idry ch say s. “ Y ou know , ‘ R rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! ! ! ’” A s h e say s th is, F idry ch j erks h is

h ands and g row l s h is v oice in im itation of a buz z saw . “ Y ou know : D ow n! ” F idry ch sh outs, as if h e’s fel l ed a tree. “ H a-h a!

H eh -h eh ! ” T h en h is face — w ith its dim pl ed ch in — m akes an ex ag g erated scow l l ike a v il l ain in a cartoon. “ B asebal l ! ” h e say s, spitting out th e w ord. “ Y ou know w h at I’m say ing ?

Y ou know , to g et y our anx iety out of y ou.”

B ut it is cl ear in th is v ideo and oth ers from h is retirem ent y ears th at F idry ch stil l l ov es basebal l and does not present h im sel f as a bitter m an.

In m ost of th e interv iew s, h e defends th e T ig ers for th e w ay th ey used h im in 1 9 7 6 and 1 9 7 7 .

H e often tel l s th e interv iew ers h e’s l ucky to h av e pl ay ed professional l y for as l ong as h e did and to h av e m ade enoug h m oney to buy l and and set up a business w ith h is sh iny dum p truck.

S om e of th e v ideos — th ere are m any on th e internet — sh ow F idry ch w ith h is pig s, sh eep, and h orses. H e settl ed dow n and m arried A nn in 1 9 8 6 . J essica w as born a y ear l ater. H is truck is red and bl ack and it say s “ J essica” in th e front and “ M ark F idry ch C o. Inc.” on th e driv erside door.

In h is SportsC entury docum entary , F idry ch ’s w ife, A nn, l aug h s w h en tel l ing h ow bum py th e rides w ere w h en F idry ch l earned to sh ift th e g ears.

A nd F idry ch described l earning h ow to m aneuv er h is big m ach inery w h en h e w ent on j obs to dig sw im m ing pool s or l ay a foundation for a h ouse or to fix a road. “ N ow , th e ch al l eng e w as: ‘ C an I back it up into th is tig h t spot? C an I do th is? C an I do th at? ’” F idry ch asks, recal l ing h is l earning curv e.

A m ong th e m ost intrig uing pieces of v ideo are four seg m ents of “ B -rol l ” recorded for th e sh ow Once a Star on

His fate, both professionally and personally, was tragic, and there are in it elements of both Greek and Shakespearean tragedy.

22 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

T N T in 1 9 8 5 . T h ey can be found on w h at is cal l ed “ M ediaB urn Independent V ideo A rch iv e.” It sh ow s both w h at w as used for th e sh ow and w h at was left on the cutting-room floor in th e editing process.

In th e conv ersation — at th e farm and on his youth-league field — Fidrych is effusive, speaking in a stream of consciousness and often free-associating h is th oug h ts.

H e recal l s fan feedback in 1 9 7 6 . “ I w as h av ing fun. T h ey w ere h av ing fun. A nd th e v ibration of it bounced off each other. When you saw l ittl e kids and m aking th em h appy , it w as w eird. Y ou coul d be a kid stil l , and to m e it w as l ike, ` G ood, I don’t h av e to g row up, m an. I don’t h av e to g et m ature.’”

D id th e T ig ers ov eruse h im to sel l seats at h om e? “ N ot true. It w asn’t h urting m e, ” T h e B ird say s. “ N o. It real l y w asn’t abusing y ou is w h at peopl e used to cal l it. I said, ‘ N o, it’s not abusing .’

W h at w oul d I rath er do? I’d rath er pitch at h om e.”

O n w h at it’s l ike to strug g l e in th e m inors: “ I w as j ust h ang ing on because I said, ‘ Y ou know , w h at do I w ant to do, g o h om e and dig ditch es or som eth ing ? N o. L et’s h ang on as l ong as y ou can. H ey , y ou h ad 1 0 beautiful y ears. It’s g ot to end som etim e. Y ou’v e g ot to l et g o of th e candy .”

B ut a bit of w istful ness creeps into h is tone and dem eanor w h en h e reflects on working with his dump truck w h il e oth er form er ath l etes do tel ev ision com m ercial s. H e say s h e asks h is ag ent, B ob W ool f, about it. “ If I ev er g ot l ucky and, l ike, did a coupl e com m ercial s, m ay be y ou w oul dn’t h av e to do th at, ” h e say s, sl ipping into th e second person, describing h im sel f as “ y ou” but nev er in th e th ird person as “ F idry ch .” “ Y ou g o up to y our ag ent, M r.

W ool f, and y ou say , ‘ H ow com e y ou can’t g et m e noth in’? I know I’m out of bal l , but al l th ese oth er g uy s are out of bal l .’”

H e speaks of a w ish to g o on a popul ar T V sh ow of th e tim e cal l ed Magnum, P.I ., in w h ich th e star, T om S el l eck, w ears a D etroit T ig ers cap.

L ou W h itaker and A l an T ram m el l of th e current T ig ers m ade g uest appearances on th e sh ow , F idry ch say s.

S o w h y not T h e B ird?

Ironical l y , y ears l ater, S el l eck w il l narrate a posth um ous docum entary about th e l ife and death of T h e B ird

for th e M L B N etw ork. “ A nd th en y ou ask M r. W ool f, ‘ H ow com e y ou can’t g et m e any th ing l ike th is? ’ ‘ W el l , M ark, y ou know , noth ing ’s open.’ I’m g oing , ‘ N oth ing ’s open? F ine.’ A nd y ears g o by . A nd y ou’re stil l say ing , ‘ N oth ing ’s open, h uh ? ’” S o F idry ch say s h e tries to prom ote h im sel f w h enev er h e’s on T V .

C h ang ing to a v oice th at is soft and h um bl e w h il e sitting on th e bench of a baseball field, Fidrych wraps h is arm s around h is fol ded knees in w h at appears to be a defensiv e and protectiv e crouch . “ H ey , I need a j ob, ” h e say s in th at m eek v oice. “ A ny one w ant a com m ercial ? ” H e seem s to be j oking , in a w ay , but al so m ay be kidding on th e sq uare.

A nd in th e SportsC entury piece in th e fol l ow ing decade, after recounting h is bl essing s y et ag ain, F idry ch decl ares: “ I g et up in th e m orning .

H ey , l ife is beautiful .”

In an interv iew for a M el A l l en special in th e m id-1 9 8 0s, F idry ch sum marizes his love affair with baseball, th e fans, and l ife. “ I th anked th em for nev er forg etting m e, ” F idry ch say s. “ I h ope th ey nev er do. It w as a beautiful tim e … I stil l l ov e it. It’s l ike a l ov e.

And love is different. We’re still in l ov e, I g uess. T o m e, th at’s beautiful . T h ank th e L ord th at y ou’v e g ot w h at y ou’v e g ot and be th ankful for w h at y ou h av e today — not w h at sh oul d h av e been.”

In S eptem ber of 1 9 9 9 , w h en th ey pl ay ed th e l ast g am e at T ig er S tadium , th ey introduced m any fan fav orites in uniform . F idry ch g ot one of th e l oudest ch eers. H e j og g ed to th e pitch er’s m ound, sm ooth ed out som e dirt, th en scooped som e up som e soil and put it in a bag g ie to take h om e.

THE CORONER’S report estimated that it took five minutes for M ark “ T h e B ird” F idry ch to die of asph y x iation. T h at is to say h e w as strang l ed w h il e w orking under h is Mack truck, trying to fix it, at his farm , on A pril 1 3 , 2009 .

H is cl oth ing g ot caug h t in a spinning com ponent underneath th e v eh icl e’s undercarriag e. N o one el se w as near to h ear if h e cried out for h el p. H is body w as discov ered h ours l ater by a business associate.

W ord of T h e B ird’s death sent

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

23

w av es of sh ock and g rief out of N orth boroug h to D etroit and across th e basebal l w orl d. O f course, it h it h om e h ardest w ith h is fam il y .

H is daug h ter, J essica, w as w orking th at day . S h e tol d th e M aj or L eag ue B asebal l netw ork in a 201 6 T V special th at sh e h ad a prem onition ev en before h er superv isor cal l ed h er aside to tel l h er th e new s. “ I knew som eth ing w as w rong , and I didn’t know w h at it w as, ” J essica F idry ch tol d M L B . “ It’s l ike th is feel ing cam e ov er m y body . I knew ( it w as) som eth ing real l y bad.”

O n th e sam e M L B sh ow , F idry ch ’s w ife, A nn, said, “ F or a m an w h o l ov ed l ife, for it to be taken aw ay , th at’s — th at w as painful .” T h e B ird w as 5 4 y ears ol d.

A coupl e m onth s l ater, h is w idow and daug h ter attended a g am e at D etroit’s C om erica P ark. A fter h ig h l ig h ts of h is career w ere sh ow n on th e scoreboard screen, th e w om en w ent to th e m ound, sm ooth ed out som e dirt, and th en th rew th e cerem onial first pitches.

H is onl ine obituary on th e w ebsite of th e Worcester Telegram & Gazette incl udes h undreds of ex pressions of g rief and l ov e from l ocal peopl e w h o knew h im from ch il dh ood, as w el l as from th ose in distant pl aces w h o knew h im onl y th roug h attending basebal l g am es or w atch ing th em on tel ev ision. “ M ark’s death cry stal iz es a m om ent in tim e, ” one of th em w rote.

M ost of th em sig ned th eir nam es, but w e l eav e th em out of th is piece.

T h e fol l ow ing com pil ation is but a sam pl ing of w h at is w ritten by th e m any w h o l eft m essag es, som e of th em posted y ears after h is death .

Q uite a few cited h is approach abil ity and friendliness off the field. “ T h ank y ou for sh aking m y h and at D etroit M etro ( airport) th at day ” … “ U s kids w oul d w al k to h is apartm ent com pl ex and w ait for h im to com e out. H e al w ay s stopped to tal k to y ou” … “ W h en I sent h im a g et-w el l card after h is knee surg ery , h e actual l y responded.”

H e seem ed to bring out a special spirit in fem al e fans. “ A s a g irl w h o pl ay ed softbal l , it w as al w ay s fun to pretend to be T h e B ird. I’m m uch ol der now , but th ose m em ories of T h e B ird h av en’t faded” … . “ M y m oth er, w h o did not l ike basebal l , w as standing on h er seat y el l ing , ‘ G o, B ird! ’ W e al l w ere.”

O ne M assach usetts neig h bor ex pressed nostal g ia for T h e B ird’s

v eh icl e, th e big , red-and-bl ack 1 0-w h eel er. “ I w il l m iss h is truck rum bl ing past m y h ouse on W est S treet, al w ay s w ith a sm il e, al w ay s w ith a w av e.”

S o m any ex pressed em otions sug g est pow erful connections bey ond th e usual in sports. “ I did not cry w h en m y dad died, but w h en I read about M ark’s death , I cried for day s” … “ M y h eart real l y h urts. I am w riting in tears” … . “ N ot too m any day s g o by w h en I don’t th ink of h im ” … “ H e broug h t such a v ibrant spirit to th e g am e. I l ov ed h im w ith al l m y h eart.”

T h ere is pl enty of y earning and w ish ful th inking . “ I w ish I coul d see M ark pitch one m ore tim e” … “ If today ’s bal l pl ay ers h ad j ust a l ittl e of “ T h e B ird” in each of th em , our national pastim e w oul d be a better g am e.”

T h ey al so praise h is spirit, h um il ity , and personal ity . “ H e w as a g reat g uy w ith a h eart of g ol d” … . “ H e w as and continued to be th e m ost sincere person I h av e ev er m et” … “ A n av erag e g uy w h o m ade it to th e sh ow , and nev er forg et h ow special an av erag e g uy is.” … . “ O ne of th e m ost g enuine peopl e I h av e ev er m et in m y l ife” … “ F am e nev er w ent to h is h ead” … . “ H e seem ed to g rab l ife and l iv e it for al l th at it w as w orth . H e seem ed so g enuine, unj aded and j oy ful ” … “ A true h ero” … “ A n A m erican cl assic.”

A nd, as is often th e case in th ese m om ents, som e m ourners im ag ined th e afterl ife. “ S om ew h ere in h eav en, T h e B ird is striking out T h e B abe” … “ W h en I w as a l ittl e g irl , I rem em ber w atch ing basebal l g am es w ith m y dad. ‘ T h e B ird’ w as h is fav orite pl ay er. M y dad passed aw ay in 1 9 8 3 . M ay be th ey w il l pl ay som e catch in th e cl ouds tog eth er” … “ G od bl ess y ou ev ery day in h eav en” … “ T h e B ird h as a new set of w ing s.”

F idry ch ’s rem ains w ere crem ated.

In h is m em orial serv ice at th e F irst P arish C h urch U nitarian U niv ersal ist in N orth boroug h , th e al tar displ ay ed h is T ig ers j ersey w ith th e O l d E ng l ish

24 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

“ D ” in front and “ F ID R Y C H ” and “ 20” on th e back. T h e m ourners sang “ A m az ing G race” and “ T ake M e O ut to th e B al l G am e.”

SO HOW DO WE assess th e too-brief basebal l career and too-sh ort l ife of M ark “ T h e B ird” F idry ch ?

T h e w ord uniq ue com es to m ind because h e w as one of a kind, but h e also filled out several classic baseball personal ity tropes and arch ety pes.

F irst, h e pl ay ed th e rol e of th e y oung ph enom enon — a “ F E E -nom , ” as it’s pronounced in basebal l .

N ex t, h e pl ay ed th e h onored rol e of “ F l aky P itch er, ” perform ed in th e past

by J erom e “ D iz z y ” D ean in th e 1 9 3 0s and B il l “ S pacem an” L ee in th e 1 9 7 0s and ev en in th e m ov ies by E bby C al v in “ N uke” L aL oosh , pl ay ed by T im Robbins in the 1988 film Bull Durham.

F inal l y , F idry ch took on th e sad, stereoty pical rol e of th e w ash ed-up pitcher, old before his time, fighting ag ainst fate in th e m inor l eag ues, h oping to g et cal l ed back up to w h at som e fol ks cal l “ T h e S h ow .” S ort of l ike R onal d R eag an pl ay ing G rov er C l ev el and A l ex ander in The Winning Team in 1 9 5 2.

L ike m uch H ol l y w ood product, th e F idry ch story g l ittered w ith a bit of fairy dust, a P eter P an q ual ity of nev er g row ing up, an eternal boy of sum m er. W h en h onoring F idry ch in M assach usetts, G ov ernor M ich ael D ukakis said, “ M ark F idry ch h as aw akened th e boy l y ing dorm ant in ev ery m an’s breast.”

B ut w h at w oul d T h e B ird h av e becom e h ad h e endured and m atured into a senior pitch er w ith a l ong career and a l ong l ife afterw ard to reflect and remember? “ M ay be th at’s w h y F idry ch ’s story endures, ” M ich ael R osenberg w rote in th e Detroit Free Press in 201 6 . “ W e nev er found out h ow g ood h e w oul d h av e been — w h eth er h e w as a oney ear w onder or a H al l of F am er.”

T h e h ig h s and l ow s of T h e B ird’s

This was not just baseball — this was Birdmania.

l ife and death rem inded us th at al l glory is fleeting and all fame is fickle and th at fate isn’t al w ay s fair. H is fate, both professional l y and personal l y , w as trag ic, and th ere are in it el em ents of both G reek and S h akespearean trag edy .

B ut h is w asn’t precisel y eith er.

T h ere needs to be a special categ ory for th e narrativ e arc of M ark th e B ird.

W h en does dram a becom e m el odram a, and path os bath os? W ith h is sort of fortune, som e m ig h t h av e w al l ow ed in sel f-pity , but F idry ch w asn’t th e ty pe. In 1 9 8 0, w h en it w as obv ious h is basebal l day s w ere num bered, F idry ch tol d The N ew Y ork Times: “ F eel sorry for m e? W h y ?

I’v e g ot a l ot of th ing s oth er peopl e don’t h av e. I’v e g ot som e l and. I’v e g ot som e cow s and pig s. I’v e g ot a new car.”

F inal l y , about th at nicknam e, “ T h e B ird.” It w as perfect for h im , and not j ust for th e al l usion to th e y el l ow m uppet on Sesame Street. F idry ch was flighty. He chirped and he soared. N o ath l ete in sports h istory sh ares th at nicknam e, T h e B ird. N ot ev en L arry B ird.

B ut th e j az z m an C h arl ie P arker w as cal l ed “ B ird, ” and F idry ch pl ay ed a brand of basebal l th at h ad a l ot of tem po, rh y th m , and m otion in it.

H e danced — or at l east h e h opped around. H is fans sang — or at l east th ey ch anted.

S o y ou h ear in y our m ind th e m usic and song titl es of h is era. F idry ch w as a “ W orking C l ass H ero” and h e w as “ S al t of th e E arth .”

M oreov er, a song recorded and perform ed by F idry ch fan E l ton J oh n perfectl y suits T h e B ird. C om posed w ith co-w riter B ernie T aupin, “ C andl e in th e W ind” is prim aril y about th e earl y death of th e actress M aril y n M onroe. It certainl y w orks on th at l ev el .

B ut T aupin tol d Rolling Stone in 201 4 th at th e song h ad a l arg er m eaning . “ A m etaph or for fam e and dy ing y oung , ” T aupin said. Indeed, th e song ’s l ast l ine — about y oung tal ent and earl y death — ring s as true for F idry ch as it did for M onroe: “ Y our candl e burned out l ong before y our l eg end ev er did.”

This is another chapter in Joe Lapointe’ s sports reporting memoir to be titled either “ The Fire-Balling Flame-Thrower Threw Bullets to Slam the Door” or “ Local Team H opes To Win N ex t Game.”

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

25

WHAT’S GOING ON Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Submit your events to metrotimes.com/calendar. Be sure to check venue websites for COVID-19 policies.

SAT, 7/9 Niagara: Stop It’s been a decade since punk rockerturned-fine artist Niagara held a solo show in Detroit, and the last time she exhibited work locally was when she was The Dirty Show’s featured artist in 2020.

Then the pandemic hit, and Niagara came down with COVID-19 well before most even knew about the illness. “I felt terrible for six months, and I couldn’t do anything. I was like, ‘What is going on?’” she tells Metro Times. “I didn’t know it was a flu, I just thought it was how my life was.”

However, the prolific painter — whose work often depicts various femmes fatales in a pop-art style that is both meticulously glamorous and a bit off-kilter — says she was thankful for the rare downtime, which gave her a renewed sense of inspiration and urgency. “I thought, ‘I’ve got to paint this in case this COVID kills me. I gotta paint this before I die,’” she says of an image featured in Stop, an exhibition of new and never-before-seen paintings and prints that opens Saturday at Royal Oak’s Edo Gallery.

The title of the show comes from a new portrait depicting Diana Ross of the Supremes; Niagara, who performed as the frontwoman for the band Destroy All Monsters in the 1970s and ’80s, says she also found a new appreciation for the hitmakers while revisiting Motown compilations. “I hated hearing it again.

It was bringing me down. It’s mostly about whining and stuff about girls,” she says. “I couldn’t handle it until I got the Supremes compilation. Every song was just so good, I hadn’t heard them for so long ... It was such a shock that they were so upbeat, even when they were whining, they were whining about love in an upbeat way.”

Niagara will be on hand for the opening reception to sign prints, including a new collaboration with Shephard Fairey, and Danny Kroha (of the Gories) and DJ Alr!ght will also be on the decks spinning rock ’n’ roll. “It’s different than being in a band, where you practice every day, and then you go to work, and you get on stage, and try to be an idiot, a marvelous idiot, for an hour,” she says of her art shows.

“With art, you’ve done all your work, and all you have to do is go to the show, and meet people, and have a party.”

—Lee DeVito

The opening reception will be held from 7-11 p.m. on Saturday, July 9 at Edo Gallery, 4313 W. 13 Mile Rd., Royal Oak; edoramenhouse. com; 248-556-5775. Reservations encouraged.

SUN, 7/10 Forever Fresh Detroit’s hip-hop community was shocked when Doughboyz Cashout member Doughboy Josh (aka Freshcobar) lost his battle to cancer in 2021. In an effort to keep his brother’s name alive and continue their mission, Doughboy Dre has decided to carry on the Foundation that he and Doughboy Josh initially started together. “The ForeverFresh Foundation started originally with an idea that me and my brother came up with to spread health awareness and to talk about our journey and the places we have visited. I ended up naming the foundation in dedication to him,” says Doughboy Dre. “Our goal is to spread health conscious awareness to communities of color.” The event will feature free bikes, hygiene products, and food, which will be given away along with free haircuts. The event will also include live music.

—Kahn Santori Davison From noon-4 p.m. on Sunday, July 10 at Gordon Green Space at Rosa Park Blvd. and Atkinson St., Detroit. To donate or become a sponsor, email foreverfreshfoundation@ gmail.com.

TUES, 7/12 LuckyPistil Cannabisinfused pop-up pizza party Chef Enid Parham (aka Chef Sunflower) says it was a blessing and a curse when she was named Michigan Edibles’ best cannabis chef in 2021 for her analytical and meticulous approach to preparing delicious THC-infused meals.

“I became so popular it was harder for me to get a lot of gigs and public support because I was into cannabis,” she says. “I used to do a Eastern Market series on my blog like, ‘How to shop at Easern Market and take things home to use it with cannabis.’ When I approached Eastern Market with the idea they said they couldn’t support it because it was cannabis-based.”

On the opposite end, Parham has been approached by cannabis corporations that have agendas she didn’t want to be a part of, like those lobbying to stop home-growers, also known as caregivers, in order to steer more medical marijuana patients into stores.

Parham has instead decided to take a step back and return to doing more

26 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

Fine artist Niagara’s latest body of work, on view at Royal Oak’s Edo Gallery, features a stunning portrait of Diana Ross.

COURTESY PHOTO

incognito events, where she could more effectively curate the experience she wants her guests to have. Even though the perception of cannabis has changed dramatically over the last decade, there are still Detroiters who prefer to indulge discreetly.

“There are a lot of corporate people that want to party without their bosses or other people knowing that they’re at these events using cannabis,” she says.

Parham’s practice is also not necessarily legal. “With me as a cannabis chef, they really haven’t gotten to us as far as laws are concerned,” she says. “They try and throw us under the category of ‘edibles,’ but edibles are sort of different than when people are sitting down eating.” Enter the LuckyPistil Pop Up Pizza party, which promises to be a lowkey and fun yet informative evening. “The people I’m having this pizza party with own a well-known restaurant in Detroit,” she says. “We’re going to take their menu and we’re just going to enhance it with cannabis.”

The event will include a karaoke competition, games, and tutorials about infusing various recipes with cannabis. “I had to learn how to feed guests cannabis

to where they didn’t have these bad experiences or where they weren’t high for 2 to 3 days,” she says. “Dosing is one of the major factors. It’s a math you have to be able to do where guests are able to enjoy a party and can enjoy it comfortably.”

Other issues that affect cooking with cannabis include mixing different strains, various levels of terpenes, different levels of THC, the quality of the cannabis, and the cooking temperature. Through years of research and practice Parham has learned it all, and is willing to share that knowledge.

“This underground series I’m doing is with some of my restaurant friends,” she says. “It’s just a pop-up, so we won’t publish the name, but people will know they can come back underground to this series and have some fun and start having these conversations.”

—Kahn Santori Davison The LuckyPistil Pop Up Pizza Party will be held from 6-10 p.m. on Tuesday, July 12 at an undisclosed location. Email luckypistilcatering@gmail.com for more info. Tickets start at $60 and are available at https://bit.ly/3nFjawl.

Wed 7/06

Happy Birthday, Dan Twomey & Kourtney Nikole!

Thurs 7/07

SEAGRAM’S 7&7 DAY! $4 7&7 SPECIAL Mizz Ruth’s Grill @7pm Happy Birthday Devin Carey!

Fri 7/08

PATIO BAR OPEN @3PM GASHOUNDS/DIRTY COPPER/ RUEFEL NOISE (lansing) Doors@9 $5 Cover

Topp Dogg Food Truck @6pm Sat 7/09

PATIO BAR OPEN @2PM Asklepius, SUCC, Rocket Boosters Doors @9pm $5 cover Sun 7/10

PATIO BAR OPEN @2PM Strictly Sunday’s Presents: STRICTLY FINE On The Patio Doors@5-8pm $5 cover

Topp Dogg Food Truck @5pm Mon 7/11

FREE POOL ALL DAY Tues 7/12

B. Y. O. R. Bring Your Own Records You Can DJ! 9pm NO COVER! Coming Up In July:

7/14 FULL MOON PARTY 7/15 Carbon Decoy/ Caveman Bam Bam/Corevalues 7/22 THREE SPOKE WHEEL/ DUDE/Tiger Lily 7/24 HAPPY 320th BIRTHDAY DETROIT! 7/28 WDET Comedy Showcase (wdet.com/events) 7/29 FUNK NIGHT (monthly) 7/30 Something Elegant (monthly) JELLO SHOTS always $1

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

27

FOOD

Gelato and sorbet from Momento.

TOM PERKINS

A scoop of Italy in Detroit

By Tom Perkins

For all the glorious ice cream be-

ing scooped around southwest Michigan at spots like Treat Dreams, Blank Slate, Guernsey, Cook’s Farm Dairy, etc., there’s long been a noticeable hole in the landscape — gelato, Italian, or, one could argue, European ice cream.

Let’s face it, we call Detroit the Paris of the Midwest, but it’s still the Midwest.

And that’s a bummer because, when done right, gelato rivals its American cousin. Perhaps counterintuitively, it’s both denser and in its best forms is much creamier. That’s typically achieved by reducing the amount of air in the base. American ice cream is whipped and churned a bit harder and faster, which creates more air. Gelato gets an easier ride as it’s churned, and if it got much denser, it would create an almost taffy-like consistency. Meanwhile, there’s a bit less fat in gelato.

Fortunately, we have Momento Gelato and Coffee in Detroit. Owner Tom Isaia, who learned the craft during several 2017 trips to Bologna, Italy, uses skim milk powder, whole milk, and cream — that keeps the fat level down

compared with ice cream.

Isaia’s also a proponent of keeping things natural by not using “natural flavoring” like en and Jerry’s and other popular ice cream companies. In the salted caramel, for example, the caramel is simply sugar melted in a heavy pan then poured into the base and mixed with some salt. That achieves a dark sugar flavor without anything lab-made, and that, folks, is how you do natural flavorings, and not “natural flavorings.”

Also excellent is the pistachio gelato is made with pistachios ground in house with a nut butter grinder. The chocolate hazelnut’s bits of nuts also provide some pleasant texture that breaks up the deep rich flavor, and a milkshake made with it was nothing short of intense and decadent.

Other flavors in the ever-rotating mix included Michigan strawberry, vanilla bean, lemon custard, and butter pecan.

Isaia’s approach carries over to the sorbet, in which he uses real fruit.

Good, real fruit is the foundation of solid sorbets. My favorites of the bunch

28 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

were the mango and strawberry, the latter of which has the amount of seed reduced to keep the texture just right.

The mix of fruit, ice and sugar — no dairy or fat — is surprisingly creamy.

Continuing on the Italian dessert tip, Momento packs its cannoli shells to order, as doing so too far ahead of time can render the shells soft and limp.

These are made with a traditional Sicilian style of ricotta and sugar that’s light and sweet, with chocolate sprinkles and pistachios on each pole. The cinnamon makes its presence known, which I didn’t mind, but a co-diner, occasional food writer and self-proclaimed “cannoli hound” Violeta Ikonomova, said she didn’t love that element. “Copious cinnamon created a textural issue,” she opined.

A prosciutto sandwich made with red pepper, spinach, provolone, and pesto is solid, and though I kind of assumed the coffee portion of the business was a bit of an afterthought and didn’t try any drinks, Isaia clarified that the shop opens at 7 a.m. His list of espresso drinks includes affogato —

Momento Gelato and Coffee 2120 Trumbull St., Detroit instagram.com/ momentogelato 313-974-6054 $3.85-$9.65 for gelato Handicap accessible

with espresso and gelato — and an iced lavender latte.

The gelateria is Isaia’s first restaurant, though he previously worked in wholesale coffee, and, decades ago opened the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor, at which time it hosted blues acts. He sold it 1979, when it went more of a rock direction.

He chose to open shop in Corktown after seriously considering the Ilitch entertainment district, but opted for the former because the foot tra c isn’t contingent on an event. The interior is clean and small, though there’s a room with large windows and outdoor seating on a neighboring sidewalk.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

29

FOOD Who’s the snowflake now?

People are really trying to cancel Detroit’s Cold Truth over refusing to serve police in body armor COLD TRUTH IN Midtown has some of the best vegan soft serve in Detroit.

But people are losing their shit trying to cancel them after the ice cream spot said in a social media post that it refuses to serve police wearing “heavy duty tactical gear.”

O n Thursday, Cold Truth posted an Instagram story showing a Detroit Police car parked on the wrong side of the street in front of the shop. The caption read, “we can tolerate the parking however you please, but we will not serve anyone wearing body armor.”

Apparently, this pissed off some sensitive Blue Lives Matter types who are now calling Cold Truth “disgusting” and vowing never to eat the shop’s delicious soft serve again. Fine by us.

That just means maybe the line will be shorter next time we go. ( Sometimes the line goes down the block, and they sell out before we can get our fix.)

The hypocrisy of people who cry about toxic “cancel culture“ now trying to cancel an ice cream shop is so stupid, it’s hilarious. Who’s the snowflake now?

V ows to boycott the shop grew after Cold Truth posted a statement on their Facebook page, upholding their stance.

“Cold Truth is a family/ community ice cream spot. There are times when various units come through and are outfitted in heavy duty tactical gear, it is disturbing and unsettling for some of the families in our space,” the post reads. “In the last 24 hours It has come to my attention that the City of Detroit

outfits EMS and FIRE with armor and this is not my concern. It’s the heavy duty military dress that I’m hoping the city can find a way to minimize in our public spaces.“ Some people just couldn’t handle a little ‘ ole vegan soft serve shop standing up against the militarization of police.

But it’s not that shocking that a hipster business in a majority Black city would try to make a safe space for a community that has a tumultuous relationship with law enforcement.

The post has almost 2,000 comments, with both haters and supporters chiming in.

“I am banning this establishment and I am letting my family and friends know that the owner is discriminating against law enforcement by not allowing them to come to his store in their uniforms/ body armor. Don’t go to this store,” one person said.

“V ery disrespectful to say. N onetheless on the FO U R TH O D J U K Y WEEKEND. that ‘heavy duty military dress’ is what keeps you safe and why we have freedom! I will NEVER step a foot in your establishment,” another one wrote.

That’s not a typo, by the way. They definitely wrote “fourth od Juky.” Must be some new-age holiday we’ve never heard of where people gather around a Dumpster fire and yell “MUH FREEDOM” at each other.

“All this hate is coming from a bunch of people who would never even go to

Vegan soft serve with a side of ACAB.

Detroit let alone get vegan ice cream lmao keep doing what you do,” one supporter wrote.

But another commenter summed it up best: “Lots of snowflakes here. Most of them think this will hurt your business but those of us that have been to your shop will be back. Y ou do you. It’s easy enough to take off your plate carrier.

STEVE NEAVLING

The people complaining are the same ones that complain about wearing masks. Don’t sweat’em.”

—R and iah C am il l e G reen C old Truth is located at 4240 C ass Ave., suite 100, Detroit; coldtruthsoftserve. com. H ours are 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday to Friday and 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. C losed on Mondays.

Buddy’s Pizza opening Chesterfield location

COURTESY PHOTO

BUDDY’S PIZZA IS continuing its expansion and spreading the singular joy that is the Detroit-style pie.

The company, which claims the title of the inventors of Detroit-style pizza, announced a new location in Chesterfield in Macomb County, its 22nd.

The store is located at 5 06 70 Gratiot Ave., Chesterfield, and expected to open on J uly 11.

At the new location, Buddy’s is partnering with the Chesterfield Township Library and will donate all opening-day sales. Buddy’s also hosts a Buddy’s Bookmark R eading Program during R eading Month in March, where students can redeem a free kid’s meal as a reward for

30 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

reading three books.

“For 76 years, families and friends have gathered together to enjoy our original Detroit-Style pizza, and we’re excited to now bring this tradition to the Chesterfield community,” uddy’s Chief rand O cer Wes Pikula said in a statement. “ y partnering with the Chesterfield Township Library, we hope to fully engrain ourselves into the community and give back to the community members who dine with us.”

Like Buddy’s recent Clarkston location, the Chesterfield store features a layout specifically engineered for carryout, including a grab-and-go system for online orders and an optimized kitchen.

— B y Lee DeVito

JULY 24

CELESTE BARBER

OCTOBER 27

SHANGELA

AUGUST 17

SEPTEMBER 16

HOW DID THIS GET MADE?

AMANDA SEALES

NOVEMBER 2

NOVEMBER 5

NIGEL NG

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

31

CULTURE Stolen heart

Metro Detroit’s Cristy Lee revives Michigan homes in new HGTV series ‘Steal This House’

By Jim McFarlin

Those who know Cristy Lee from television know her as the host of such engine-oriented cable series as Garage Sq uad, C elebrity I OU Joyride, and the female-focused All Girls Garage. Ah, but this multitalented Clarkston resident has more than gears and grease under her rolled-up sleeves.

Lee is also a recognized guru at real estate, remodeling, and renovation, as she’ll demonstrate in her new made-inMichigan series Steal This H ouse, premiering at 9 p.m. Saturday on HGTV .

In fact, it was her passion for property that inspired the Florida native to drop out of college 18 years ago, sell her motorcycle, pack her V olkswagen J etta to overflowing, and forsake Daytona each for Detroit.

Y ou read that right.

“It was a crazy choice,” she concedes from the living room of her suburban home. “At the time I was like, ‘ This is a great decision.’ Everyone else in my life — family, friends, everybody — was like, ‘ W ait… you’re going where? W hy not just go all the way to Saskatchewan? Y ou’re a Florida girl — what are you thinking? ’” She adds, “I rolled into town and there was two feet of snow on the ground. I thought, ‘ Great idea! ’ It took about five years for it to sink in that I could no longer wear flip-flops yearround. But there were big opportunities at the time in Detroit and real estate was really booming. I’ve always been extremely connected to real estate since then.”

It’s a connection Lee hopes to magnify on Steal This H ouse, where she also serves as executive producer. In the six-episode premiere season, she suggests prospective homebuyers invest in fixer-uppers priced far below their budget and use the surplus to create the custom home of their dreams through

In her new HGTV show, former WRIF Rock Girl Cristy Lee suggests homebuyers invest in fixer-uppers priced far below their budget and use the surplus to create the custom home of their dreams.

HGTV

a total renovation. The houses are located from Detroit and Royal Oak to Trenton and loomfield Hills, but one episode takes Lee and her Michiganbased construction team as far north as Leland.

“There’s a strong diversity not only with the potential homeowners, but also in the types of properties we work on,” she says. “I really love that we don’t have a template for this show. W e’re kind of all over the place, and that’s because it’s about what the homeowners are looking for, what their wants and needs are. I’m not trying to convince them of what they want. I’m trying to help them look at properties and tweak them a bit, using my expertise and experience to guide them. I’ve just started to grow and expand in metal work and fabrication for my cars, so I tap into that on the show building metal projects in the homes. This show has been a very long time in coming and I’m so excited for it to finally air.”

Cristy Lee’s hands-on, Ms. Fix-it mentality can be traced directly to her father Barry, a master mechanic and skilled carpenter in Florida. “I blame my Dad for literally everything,” she says, laughing. “He was a shop owner and an instructor in AMI, the American Motorcycle Institute, so he was teaching motorcycle technicians. I never really thought loving cars and motorcycles wasn’t what everybody did. Doesn’t every nine-year-old girl lust after exotic foreign cars? I’ve always loved working with tools, working with my hands. My dad’s also

32 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

a very skilled builder and extremely talented woodworker. I grew up with DI .”

She certainly did it herself once she arrived in Motown. W orking with her legs as well as her hands, the lifelong dancer won jobs with the Detroit Pistons’ Automotion dance team and The Spark dancers of the old Detroit Ignition indoor soccer team. However, those who don’t know Lee from television may remember her multi-year stint on Detroit’s WRIF-FM. “Gosh, yes, I was on the ‘RIF,” she beams. “Between dance seasons I was kind of searching for the next big thing, and driving down 6 96 I see this huge billboard, ‘ e the Next ‘RIF Rock Girl!’

I’m like, ‘OK, I can do that.’ So I auditioned and won the stint as the 2008 Rock Girl, doing tra c, sports, and weather in afternoon drive. To this day that was one of the coolest jobs I have ever had. I loved it so much I stayed another three years doing my own graveyard air shift.”

Lee says WRIF is “really what kickstarted my interest in broadcast media.

We did a little on-camera work at ‘RIF, which led to me becoming the in-arena host for the Red Wings. Everything just kind of took off from there, transitioning into motorsports pit reporting, and the rest is history. It’s all been a path to get me to where I am right now. It’s truly the most amazing gift.”

And we have to ask: given the endlessly negative stereotypes heaped upon Detroit, was Steal This H ouse really the best title for a series based here? Or may

it even have been intentional?

“I certainly would never speak on behalf of the network,” she says, “but I know a lot of thought went into the title. The network wants success for all their shows. N o one wants to put anything out there that people aren’t going to like.

“As far as the show’s title goes you have to think about it. W hen you stay ‘ Steal This W hatever’ you might initially think of someone with a big burglar bag and a ski mask. But how do you physically steal a house? Y ou can’t just pick it up and take it. So then you think, ‘ W ait! I bet it’s more like a bargain, finding a steal, a good deal.

OK, that works.’”

So it’s not a slam? “I lived in Detroit for years,” Lee responds. “I’ve invested there, buying houses, selling houses. I am a huge advocate for the success of Detroit and I agree there is an extremely negative perception of the city nationally. I think unless you’ve been here, you do not really know. Can the city use some help? Absolutely. A lot of cities could.

“But myself, coming from Florida to a beautiful city like Detroit that has so much amazing history and culture, I think there just have to be enough people who are passionate about investing in it and providing affordable, readyto-live-in, clean housing. That’s what the city truly needs. Maybe Steal This H ouse will help. Anybody that wants to talk about Detroit, come on down, take a look. Then you can give your opinion, OK?”

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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CULTURE Neptune Frost Rated: NA Run-time: 110 minutes

Kaya Free as Matalusa in Neptune Frost.

KINO LORBER

An afrofuturist musical in a league of its own

By George Elkind

The digital and m aterial w orl d’s w h ol e production pipel ine is l aid bare in Neptune Frost, a new science fiction musical. In following a group of Rwandan mineral miners who rise to form a revolutionary hacker collective, directors Saul Williams and Anisia Uzeyman find that worlds of possibility, if often hard-won, await for those willing and able to reshape their own reality. Exploratory as the film is, though — magnetically drawn to all manner of transfixing aesthetic and political possibilities — it finds an easy sense of focus by honing in on questions of power. At the film’s open, both how tools for control are produced and for whom they’re made provide the longstanding, structuring questions of its hard-laboring characters’ lives in a way that ought to feel familiar to any reader. ut when the film’s cast elects to generate resources for themselves rather than their post-colonial overlords, new horizons swiftly open.

If that sounds marxist in tenor, it is — but labor unrest is but one of Frost’s many ingredients. Just as key to this

wandering and florid project are the aesthetic tenets of afrofuturism the visionary aesthetic movement that fueled Detroit techno’s rise locally, and which dreams of lack actors’ transcending oppressive systems through the and embrace of novel, often futuristic technology. Here, as is common, that work of reclamation marries easily with the workers’ efforts to seize on the potentialities of hacking, destabilizing the technologies which their body-breaking mining work has so long served to produce. y re-taking the technologies of surveillance capitalism, and re-deploying them for their own ends, the film’s collective upends damaging, familiar financial structures but doesn’t stop there. As they wrest control of their own futures, their project of codebreaking continues, with many other longstanding bastions of order and social structure fall away. Here, gender is key among them.

In this as with much else, Frost isn’t just about the collective but the individuals and especially leaders within it. Pivoting around a central romance

34 July 6-12, 2022 | metrotimes.com

between Neptune (played by actors Cheryl Isheja and Elvis Ngabo in a gender-destabilizing joint effort, driven by a rupture partway through the film) and Matalusa ( ertrand Ninteretse), the pair work to push one another to newfound forms of discovery, power, and enlightenment. If that sounds hazy and conceptual, like something you’d read in a caption on a gallery wall, then that’s not off-base; much of the film’s dialogue is delivered in a quasi-metaphoric register of which the same could be said. ut Frost, even as it feels at times narratively abstracted and intellectually roving (and farreaching), is reliably grounded by its material textures and the way in which it’s produced. As costumed by Cedric Mizero, the film’s bold and elegant characters wear their lights and goggles and glowing ornaments as badges nodding to their own resourcefulness, demonstrating on a bodily, human and expressive level the potentials which drive the film. Invested throughout in questions of what can be engineered through atmosphere, affect, and

texture amid a dearth of easy resources (a key feature of techno as well), Frost benefits from artists who holistically understand their own project and its contours, grasping the political and aesthetic implications not only of narrative but the manner in which it’s shaped. More thrillingly, they find in working within limitations a path to all sorts of aesthetic discoveries; rarely is this a work that succumbs to the expected in its use of music, editing, framing, or light.

Despite all the thematic weight the film bears, it’s enlivened throughout by this playful approach, seeking to make anarchy and political rebellion tantalizing not merely some dour, dutifully undertaken political project. This is likely plainest in the film’s approach to music, which glides in and out of styles. Any given line might be delivered unsung, in rousing chants, or in abrupt, manifesting, more highly choreographed musical numbers, and in musical and lyrical styles hailing from an ample range of genres and traditions. At the same time, the film’s futuristic world bears the hallmarks of new, old, and imagined technologies, and its many features are lit with a sense of real vitality; even when the camera dips whole frames into deep shadow or silhouette, accents from the film’s rich palette shine through.

So taken are the film’s makers with the aesthetic potentials they find that they make little space for piety onscreen either — always a trait best kept absent even for works that seem politically “right.”

The effect of all this is the one that should rightly be found in artistic style elevated by a sense of constant questing, Frost’s filmmakers seem alive to mood, style, and possibility in ways that have long been but lately feel especially too rare. While there’s plenty to follow here in terms of narrative thread, it would be just as easy — and at least as fun — to simply bask in Frost’s fine atmosphere and style, experiencing it more as a lyric than as a yarn. Whether taken for its aesthetic virtues or grappled with on any other term s, Frost manages to feel intellectually agile, holistically considered, and emotionally full. Fully conscious of the potentials available in their own craft, Williams and Uzeyman’s labor seems clearly to be its own reward.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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CULTURE Savage Love Quickies

By Dan Savage

Q: Gay dude here. What the fuck is up

with monkeypox? Do I need to be worried?

A: Yes, you do. I tried to raise the

alarm about monkeypox on the May 24, 2022, episode of the Savage Lovecast, back when there were 100 cases in 15 countries, all of them among gay and bi men. Now there are more than 5,000 cases all over the world, and almost all of them — more than 99% of cases — are among gay and bi men.

“Right now, it’s behaving very much like an STI — and almost all of the cases have been among men who have sex with men,” said Dr. Ina Park, a professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine and Medical Consultant at the Centers for Disease Control Division of STD Prevention.

Monkeypox, Dr. Park explains, is the milder, gentler cousin to smallpox, and is spread by skin-to-skin contact or through respiratory droplets.

“But anyone who comes into close contact with someone who has monkeypox could catch it,” said Dr. Park. “And unlike other STIs which don’t live for very long outside the body, monkeypox can live for weeks on infected clothing, bedding, and other surfaces — think dildoes, slings, fetish gear — and barriers such as condoms worn over the penis or inside the rectum will protect those areas, but they don’t prevent transmission to other exposed parts of the body. If you notice red painful bumps anywhere on you or your partner’s body — especially the genital/anal area — or if you are exposed to monkeypox, get checked out right away. The sooner you get vaccinated, the better. Check out some resources for monkeypox here.” (And follow Dr. Park on Twitter @InaParkMd.) OK, that was a quickie question but a long answer. Now onto quickier-quickies.

Q: How soon is too soon to say “I love o

o

A: On your first date, right after a

stranger from an app shows up at your door, during your first threesome with that hot couple you just met a bar — too soon. Even if you’re already feeling it, even if you’re crazy enough to think

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they might be feeling it already too, you should wait at least six months to say it.

But you know what? Once you’ve said it — once you’ve said “I love you” for the first time — feel free to backdate that shit. Go ahead and say, “I wanted to say it before the entrée even came on our first date,” or, “I wanted to say it when you showed up looking better than your pics,” or, “I wanted to say it when you both came inside me simultaneously.

Q: Is it an overreaction for me, a cis woman who lives in Wisconsin and doesn’t want kids, to not want to have w l o abortion? I’ve tried to explain to him that it’s a lot to come to terms with.

A: Each of us grieves in our own

way, and at our own pace. If you’re not feeling sexy right now because of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade — if the chance of an unplanned pregnancy in Wisconsin, where a law from 1849 banning abortion can now be enforced, dries you up — that’s totally understandable. And if your fianc is anxious to get back to penetrative sex, well, pegging counts.

Q: A submissive guy reached out to me via my pretty tame Instagram and wants to send me money and wants nothing in return. Should I say no to this?

A: In this economy?

Q: New to weed. Best edible for sex?

A: Ass. Q: What is it called when a guy jacks o o ow o w l down? Is there are term for that?

A: I don’t think that has a name. Any suggestions, class?

Q: Being spanked until I’m sobbing

is the only way I’ve ever been able to o w l held. It’s literally the only thing that has ever worked for me and my boyfriend of two years won’t do it. Don’t just tell me to dump him. I love him. He is also against opening the relationship. Help?

The full version of Savage Love is now exclusively available on Dan’s website Savage.Love! To continue reading this week’s column, go to savage.love/savagelove!

Ask questions@savagelove.net. Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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CULTURE

Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES: March 21 – April 19 My readers and I have collaborated to provide insights and inspirations about the topic “How to Be an Aries.” Below is an amalgam of my thoughts and theirs — advice that will especially apply to your life in the coming days. 1. If it’s easy, it’s boring.

—Beth Prouty. 2. If it isn’t challenging, do something else. —J ennifer lackmon Guevara. 3. e confident of your ability to gather the energy to get unstuck, to instigate, to rouse — for others as well as yourself. 4 . Y ou are a great initiator of ideas and you are also willing to let go of them in their pure and perfect forms so as to help them come to fruition. 5 . W hen people don’t get things done fast enough for you, be ready and able to DO IT Y O U R SELF. TAURUS: April 20 – May 20 I know three people who have told me, “I don’t like needing anyone for anything.” They fancy themselves to be rugged individualists with impeccable self-su ciency. They imagine they can live without the help or support of other humans. I don’t argue with them; it’s impossible to dissuade anyone with such a high level of

Friend, if you’re not drinking during these times Either you’re stronger than the rest of us, or you ain’t paying attention.

Happy-ish Hour M-F 3-6

delusion. The fact is, we are all needy beings who depend on a vast array of benefactors. W ho built our houses, grew our food, sewed our clothes, built the roads, and create the art and entertainment we love? I bring this up, Taurus, because now is an excellent time for you to celebrate your own neediness. Be wildly grateful for all the things you need and all the people who provide them. R egard your vigorous interdependence as a strength, not a weakness.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20 Bounce up and down when you walk. Express 11 different kinds of laughs. Be impossible to pin down or figure out. Relish the openings that your restlessness spawns. K eep changing the way you change. Be easily swayed and sway others easily. Let the words flowing out of your mouth reveal to you what you think. Live a dangerous life in your daydreams but not in real life. Don’t be everyone’s messenger, but be the messenger for as many people as is fun for you. If you have turned out to be the kind of Gemini who is both saintly and satanic, remember that God made you that way — so let God worry about it.

CANCER: June 21 – July 22 As a child, Cancerian author J une J ordan said, “I used to laugh all the time. I used to laugh so much and so hard in church, in school, at the kitchen table, on the subway! I used to laugh so much my nose would run and my eyes would tear and I just couldn’t stop.” That’s an ideal I invite you to aspire to in the coming days. Y ou probably can’t match J ordan’s plenitude, but do your best. W hy? The astrological omens suggest three reasons: 1. The world will seem funnier to you than it has in a long time. 2. Laughing freely and easily is the most healing action you can take right now. 3 . It’s in the interests of everyone you know to have routines interrupted and disrupted by amusement, delight, and hilarity.

LEO: July 23 – August 22 In accordance with the astrological omens, here’s your assignment for the next three weeks: Love yourself more and more each day. U nleash your imagination to come up with new reasons to adore and revere your uniq ue genius. Have fun doing it. Laugh about how easy and how hard it is to love yourself so well. Make it into a game that brings you an endless stream of amusement. PS: Y es, you really are a genius — by which I mean you are an intriguing blend of talents and specialties that is unprecedented in the history of the human race.

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skill, and experience — and then, in the coming months, accomplish them anyway. 2. Embrace optimism for both its beauty and its tactical advantages. 3 .

K eep uppermost in mind that you are a teacher who loves to teach and you are a student who loves to learn. 4 . Be amazingly wise, be surprisingly brave, be expansively visionary — and always forgive yourself for not remembering where you left your house keys.

JAMES NOELLERT

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22 N ovelist Lydia Peelle writes, “The trouble was, I knew exactly what I wasn’t. I just didn’t know who I was.”

W e all go through similar phases, in which we are highly aware of what we don’t want, don’t like, and don’t seek to become. They are like negative grace periods that provide us with valuable knowledge. But it’s crucial for us to also enjoy periods of intensive self-revelation about what we do want, what we do like, and what we do seek to become. In my astrological estimation, you Virgos are finished learning who you’re not, at least for now. Y ou’re ready to begin an era of finding out much, much more about who you are.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 Y ou need the following experiences at least once every other day during the next 15 days: a rapturous burst of unexpected grace; a gentle eruption of your strong willpower; an encounter with inspiration that propels you to make some practical improvement in your life; a brave adjustment in your understanding of how the world works; a sacrifice of an OK thing that gives you more time and energy to cultivate a really good thing.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 This might sound like an unusual assignment, but I swear it’s based on two unimpeachable sources: research by scientists and my many years of analyzing astrological data. Here’s my recommendation, Scorpio: In the coming weeks, spend extra time watching and listening to wild birds. Place yourself in locations where many birds fly and perch. R ead stories about birds and talk about birds. U se your imagination to conjure up fantasies in which you soar alongside birds. N ow read this story about how birds are linked to happiness levels: tinyurl.com/ BirdBliss SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 In accordance with current astrological omens, I have four related suggestions for you. 1. Begin three new projects that are seemingly beyond your capacity and impossible to achieve with your current levels of intelligence,

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 If you ever wanted to use the U rdu language to advance your agendas for love and romance, here’s a list of endearments you could use: 1 jaane- man ( heart’s beloved) ; 2. humraaz (secret-sharer; confidante); 3. pritam ( beloved) ; 4 . sona ( golden one) ; 5 . bulbul ( nightingale) ; 6 . yaar ( friend/ lover) ; 7. natkhat ( mischievous one) . Even if you’re not inclined to experiment with U rdu terms, I urge you to try innovations in the way you use language with your beloved allies. It’s a favorable time to be more imaginative in how you communicate your affections.

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Author J ohn Berger described birch trees as “pliant” and “slender.”

He said that “if they promise a kind of permanence, it has nothing to do with solidity or longevity — as with an oak or a linden — but only with the fact that they seed and spread q uickly.

They are ephemeral and recurring — like a conversation between earth and sky.” I propose we regard the birch tree as your personal power symbol in the coming months. W hen you are in closest alignment with cosmic rhythms, you will express its spirit. Y ou will be adaptable, flexible, resourceful, and highly communicative. Y ou will serve as an intermediary, a broker, and a gobetween.

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20 People who don’t know much about astrology sometimes say that Pisceans are wishy-washy. That’s a lie.

The truth is, Pisceans are not habitually lukewarm about chaotic jumbles of possibilities. They are routinely in love with the world and its interwoven mysteries. O n a regular basis, they feel tender fervor and poignant awe. They see and feel how all life’s apparent fragments knit together into a luminous bundle of amazement. I bring these thoughts to your attention because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to relish these superpowers of yours— and express them to the max.

T his w eek ’ s hom ew ork : action to diminish the sadness you feel about your number one regret.

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Supplier Quality Operations Lead (multiple openings), Lordstown Motors Corp, Farmington Hills, MI. Req. include: Bachelor’s in mech. eng’g, indust. eng’g, or related + 48 mo. of exp. in quality or supplier quality in automotive/manufacturing during new program preproduction & launch, 24 mo. of exp. w/ ISO/QS/TS Quality Systems, 18 mo. of exp. w/ IATF-16949, and 48 mo. of product launch exp. Up to 60% travel. To apply, email your resume to recruiting@ lordstownmotors.com and reference Job 144.

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EMPLOYMENT Body Design and Release Engineer (multiple openings), Lordstown Motors Corp, Farmington Hills, MI. Req. include: Bachelor’s in mech. eng’g, indust. eng’g, or related + 84 mo. exp. in body eng’g & 12 mo. of hybrid or electric vehicle exp. Also req.: skilled in CATIA V5/ V6; working knowledge with Body-on-Frame; proficient knowledge with DFMEA & DVP&R; & problem solving mindset. Up to 10% travel. To apply, email your resume to recruiting@lordstownmotors. com and reference Job 143.

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metrotimes.com | July 6-12, 2022

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