Metro Times 08/23/2023

Editor in Chief - Lee DeVito Investigative Reporter - Steve Neavling

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NEWS & VIEWS

confused ��

—@haiderahollins, Instagram

Detroit hosted the Afro Nation music festival over the weekend at the site of the former Brewster-Douglass Projects. On social media, people were concerned about the unfamiliar venue and the lack of information including set times days before the event, but the fest went off without a hitch. We hope it comes back to the Motor City!

Fyre fest vibes lol —@black___ginger, Instagram

I’m sick I missed this �� —@schoolcraft_joe.t, Instagram

I never got a ticket because the information wasn’t clear. So glad I’m not the only one

I’m still tired !!! Was ◘◘◘ —@brooklynhearted619, Instagram

Detroit has the best fashion!! Everyone looked amazing ◘ ◘ —@http.andreakaji, Instagram

Had a blast ◘◘

—morayo_.o, Instagram

I remember “Ethnic Festivals” at Hart Plaza on Sundays. A different country/culture every week. Food, Music and fabulous artists. —@carlo_tann, Instagram

Comments may be edited for length and clarity: letters@metrotimes.com

NEWS & VIEWS

Ex-Detroit cop charged with kidnap and rape, manhunt ends out of state

A retired Detroit police sergeant has been charged with kidnapping and raping a family relative and was a fugitive for two weeks before authorities recently caught up with him out of state.

James Everett Sharpe Jr. was charged with kidnapping, two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct, two counts of thirddegree criminal sexual misconduct — incest, and assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder, according to court records.

The charges carry a maximum penalty of life in prison.

Alarming racial disparity found in Ferndale arrests and traffic tickets – again

Black drivers are disproportionately ticketed and arrested by Ferndale cops along the Eight Mile Road border with Detroit, according to a twoyear investigation by the Michigan chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR-MI).

The report, titled “Lifting the Veil on Racial Profiling in Ferndale,” found that police in the suburban city engage in “predatory” traffic stops targeting Black motorists.

The study is at least the third examination over the past decade to strongly suggest Ferndale police use racial profiling tactics.

CAIR-MI leaders are calling on the Department of Justice to launch an investigation into “predatory policing” in Ferndale and are urging the police department to hire an independent group to examine protocols and come up with solutions to end the practice.

“Since Ferndale claims to care about diversity, they should take some steps so that African Americans don’t feel excluded from the city of Ferndale or maybe don’t even want to drive into Ferndale,” CAIR-MI Director Dawud Walid said at a news conference Thursday. “I myself avoid driving through Ferndale. I have family who lives in Detroit and don’t even

want to drive down Eight Mile Road. This is a real issue.”

Although Black people make up just 6.3% of Ferndale’s population, they represent 86% of the arrests made and 84% of the traffic tickets issued along Eight Mile between Jan. 1, 2021, and Oct. 31, 2021, according to data obtained through the Freedom of Information Act and Ferndale’s transparency dashboard.

The disparities were most severe along Eight Mile, the decades-long dividing line between the affluent, predominately white suburban neighborhoods of Oakland County and the lower-income, primarily Black neighborhoods of Detroit.

Of all traffic stops initiated by Ferndale police in neighboring cities, 75% occurred on Eight Mile in the first 10 months of 2021. The study also found that 11% of the citations issued during that period were on the Detroit side of Eight Mile.

Although the suburb shares a border with six cities, 80% of all traffic stops made by Ferndale police outside of their own city took place in Detroit.

Overall, less than 1% of all traffic stops involved Ferndale residents.

“This indicates to us that there is predatory policing going on by the Ferndale Police Department,” CAIR-MI staff attorney Amy Doukoure said at a news

conference Thursday. “What you see is that police are treating the drivers inside the city of Detroit differently. They are treating minority drivers differently.”

CAIR-MI is also urging city of Detroit officials to condemn Ferndale police for pulling over Black residents on the Detroit side of the Eight Mile border.

The CAIR-MI investigation began in October 2021 when the group filed a federal lawsuit against Ferndale and its police department on behalf of Helana Rowe, a Black Muslim woman who was arrested for an expired license plate tag and forced to remove her hijab in front of male officers for a booking photo.

In 2014, the ACLU of Michigan reviewed traffic stops to discover that Ferndale police disproportionately pull over Black motorists.

Another study in the Du Bois Review found that Black motorists were more likely to be arrested and ticketed after traffic stops in neighboring Eastpointe.

CAIR-MI leaders said they don’t know with certainty why Ferndale police disproportionately target Black motorists, but they pointed to a historic pattern of policing in metro Detroit and across the country.

“What we can say is that in southeastern Michigan, in particular between

Sharpe, 57, was supposed to turn himself in to Romulus police, but he never did, prompting a manhunt that recently ended in a state outside of Michigan. He was expected to be returned to Wayne County to be arraigned on the six felony counts in 34th District Court in Romulus.

Sharpe joined the Detroit Police Department in April 1986 and retired in July 2010.

The victim, who is an adult, told Romulus police that Sharpe recently raped her and held her captive.

To protect the identity of the woman, Metro Times isn’t disclosing Sharpe’s relationship to the victim.

The Wayne County Prosecutor’s Office filed charges on Aug. 4.

—Steve Neavling

Oakland County and Wayne County, there is a well-documented history of racial tension, hyper-segregation, and we know without a doubt there is a history of systemic racism in America,” Walid said.

In a statement, Ferndale Police Chief Dennis Emmi did not address the specific allegations but said his department is committed to fair and transparent practices.

“As an accredited agency, we take policy enforcement and standards very seriously—which includes annual hours of training for fair and impartial policing and implicit bias,” Emmi said. “We are committed to transparency and progress. If the Department of Justice has concerns, we are happy to cooperate. We are an open book.”

—Steve Neavling

An advocacy group is calling on the Department of Justice to investigate “predatory policing” in Ferndale. STEVE NEAVLING

Potawatomi tribal council reaches consensus to establish 12-nation confederation

A national gathering of Potawatomi tribal council members in Battle Creek voted on July 27 to form a historic confederation of 12 Nations representing tens of thousands of members across North America.

The gathering, hosted by the Nottawaseppi Huron Band of the Potawatomi (NHBP), saw seven out of 12 Tribal Councils voting in favor of the resolution to form a confederation and the five remainders being unable to vote at the meeting.

Articles of Confederation will be ratified at a later date, but a preamble has been established declaring intent to unite Potawatomi Nations.

“We, the Bodéwadmi Confederation of Tribal Nations, represent a diverse network of Potawatomi tribal nations and desire to work collectively toward furthering principles and policies that promote Tribal Sovereignty,” the preamble reads.

NHBP Tribal Council Chairperson Jamie Stuck said in a statement that the new Confederation will present new opportunities for advancing the goals of all Potawatomi Nations.

“This marks a historical moment,” Stuck said. “First-of-its-kind for the Potawatomi Nations, this Confederation will enable our Nations to have a stronger and much larger voice, with all of us collaborating to achieve the common goals not only for our People today but also for the next Seven Generations.”

The Nations of the Potawatomi stretch across the American midwest and parts of Canada to the north, but also extend as far south into Oklahoma and Texas. Match-E-Bash-She-Nash-E-Wish Tribal Council Member Ben Brenner expressed his support for the document’s ability to join the Nations in their efforts to preserve Potawatomi culture.

“This document and the new confederacy symbolize our commitment to the preservation and knowledge of our culture, language and ways,” Brenner said.

The planned Confederacy will include the Anishanabeg of Kettle and Stony Point First Nation, Beausoleil First Nation, Chippewas of Nawash First Nation, Citizen Band Potawatomi Nation, Forest County Potawatomi, Hannahville Indian Community, Pokagon Band of Potawatomi, Prairie Band Potawatomi Indian Nation, Match-E-Be-Nash-She-Wish (Gun Lake Potawatomi), Nottawaseppi Huron Band of the Potawatomi, Walpole Island First Nation and Wasauksing First Nation.

—Lily Guiney, Michigan Advance

Forget 910AM Superstation: Detroit-based Impact Network to launch satellite radio

The abrupt end of Black talk radio on 910AM Superstation deprived African Americans of a prominent platform in metro Detroit.

Bishop Wayne T. Jackson plans to change that.

The cofounder of Detroit-based Impact Network, hailed as the only television network that is both Black-owned and independently run, Jackson tells Metro Times that he’s planning on launching a nationwide satellite radio station aimed at an African American audience early next year.

Like its television counterpart, the radio station will feature enlightening programs and ministries from influential thinkers, ministers, and entertainers to engage listeners who are “looking for inspiration,” Jackson says.

Unlike 910AM, which often tackled controversies and featured some combative hosts, the radio programs will focus entirely on inspiring and solution-oriented content.

“With 910AM going out, it’s important for people to know there is a Black-owned, Black media that has responsibility and credibility and is looking to create for the community and support the community,” Jackson’s son Royal W. Jackson, the network’s executive vice president, says. “We want to draw a picture of hope,

not a picture of desperation and fear.”

Founded in 2010, the Impact Network has blossomed into a formidable media empire, producing movies and airing in more than 80 million homes across the U.S., the Bahamas, and parts of Africa.

The network focuses on “the collective Black experience” and provides positive, uplifting, and family friendly content designed to enrich lives spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, the Jacksons say.

The Impact Network plans to air that type of content soon on satellite radio.

“Impact Network TV has prominent ministers and pastors around the country, and we have that platform, and we are No. 1 in that area,” Bishop Jackson says. “It’s not just a TV station. It’s an ecosystem where we all come together for Black media and an African American voice.”

Jackson and his wife Beverly Y. Jackson run Great Faith Ministries International on Grand River Avenue in Detroit, where they also have a blocklong campus for Impact Network.

To launch the radio format, Impact Network is partnering with radio icon and Detroit native Gerald McBride and “one of the largest and most prominent Black college radio platforms” in the country,” Royal Jackson says.

The Best of Detroit 2023 reader’s poll is now open!

It’s that time of the year again… time to vote in the annual Metro Times “Best of Detroit” poll!

Now’s your chance to celebrate everything that you love about metro Detroit, including food and drink, arts and entertainment, shopping, cannabis, and more.

You can vote once a day until the poll closes at midnight on Saturday, Sept. 16. You can read all the winners in the Best of Detroit issue, to be published Wednesday, Oct. 18 in print and online.

Now, when the issue drops, we don’t want to hear how it must have been rigged because your favorites didn’t win. They can’t win if you don’t vote — so get voting!

Head over to vote.metrotimes.com to pick your favorites — and be sure to spread the word!

Lee DeVito

They intend to announce more details soon, and a soft launch is planned in “the next week or so.”

Detroit will play a prominent role on the radio format, and local voices will be featured, the Jacksons say.

“On the national level, we will be able to have voices talking about what Detroit is really doing,” Bishop Jackson says.

He adds, “A lot is going on in our community, our churches, and our schools. We have people in our city who need to be heard on a national basis. This is the uplift that our community needs.”

The topics will range from politics and lifestyle to spirituality and gospel music.

What’s important, the Jacksons say, is to provide listeners with inspiring content aimed at improving and enhancing their lives, especially at a time when cities like Detroit are portrayed negatively.

“We want to really support the community in a positive and solutionoriented way, not in a way that’s going to draw controversy, but in a way that is going to drive credibility,” Royal Jackson says.

On Friday, Aug. 11, the white-owned 910AM Superstation fired its Black hosts and changed the format to sports.

Steve Neavling

How Michigan helped bald eagle populations rise from the brink of extinction

If you’ve done any hiking around Belle Isle in the past few years, you’ve likely seen the pair of bald eagles nesting on the island. This used to be a rare sight as these majestic birds were once on the brink of extinction, but they’ve since seen a comeback across the U.S. thanks, in part, to Michigan scientists.

The state led the charge on banning a pesticide called DDT that was decimating eagle eggs in 1969. The rest of the country followed suit in 1972.

The most recent statewide survey released by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources recorded 900 bald eagle breeding pairs in the state in 2019. In 2000, Michigan only had 359 pairs, and that number was as low as 83 in 1980.

The bald eagle population in the U.S. reached an all-time low of 417 nesting pairs across the lower 48 states in 1963, and the species was considered endangered. Luckily, researchers at the University of Michigan discovered that DDT, or dichloro-diphenyl-trichloroethane, was thinning eagle eggshells so badly they had almost no chance of survival.

“People would be out doing field work, and going up to look at field nests and they were finding omelets,” Oakland Audubon president Don Burlett tells Metro Times.

DDT was one of the first synthetic insecticides developed in the 1940s and was widely used across the country in crop and livestock production. It was also approved by the U.S. Department of Agriculture to combat insect-borne human diseases like malaria and typhus.

In the 1950s an ornithologist from Michigan State University named George Wallace discovered DDT was killing robins. At the time, the university was using the pesticide to kill beetles to stop the spread of Dutch elm disease, a fungal infection that decimated trees. Around the same time, former Michigan DNR Director Ralph MacMullin started a campaign to ban hard pesticides like DDT because he was seeing bioaccumulation in animals. Interestingly enough, the link between DDT and eagles was initially spurred from discoveries of the pesticide in fish.

By the 1960s, the Michigan Department of Agriculture was finding high levels of DDT in salmon caught in the Great Lakes. Burlett says the FDA wound up impounding nearly 14 tons

of salmon from Michigan because they were unsafe for human consumption.

In 1969, MSU researchers realized DDT was also affecting eagles after seeing those bird nest omelets Burlett mentioned.

“As DDT was in the environment, in the lakes and rivers, it gets in the fish or other animals — and the eagles eat those animals, so they accumulate DDT in their bodies,” says Chris Mensing, a biologist with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. “They call it bioaccumulation, where it just moves all the way through the food web, and eagles are a pretty top-level predator.”

He adds, “With them having thin egg shells, just imagine a bird needing to have an eggshell to protect the chick — and as they sit on it to incubate the eggs, their reproduction was taking some pretty severe hits.”

Marine biologist and conservationist Rachel Carson’s book Silent Spring is credited with exposing the harms of pesticides and influencing the ultimate reversal in U.S. policies around DDT, but the book itself credits Wallace’s work at MSU.

Banning DDT wasn’t the only factor in saving the bald eagle, but it was a huge contributor to the species’ survival. Other issues like hunting and loss of habitat also affected bald eagle populations, but were mitigated by things like the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act, and the Endangered Species Act.

“Those highlighted the issues and recognized the importance of maintaining healthy bird populations, which requires a healthy ecosystem,” Mensing says. “So it’s part of this larger understanding of human activity causing these issues.”

Eagles were deemed an endangered species in 1978, but were removed from the list in 2007 as their populations began to rise. Mensing says within the last 10 years Michigan has seen a drastic uptick in bald eagle sightings. The birds migrated to the Upper Peninsula in the 1950s to escape human disturbances, but Mensing says they have begun returning to urban areas in the Lower Peninsula, hence the sightings on Detroit’s Belle Isle.

“Lansing, just a handful of years ago, had our first nesting bald eagle in 100 years or something like that,” he says. “You’re seeing these eagles return back to a landscape where they had been completely extirpated from for decades, and it just shows that these eagles are

showing a tolerance to being in a more active landscape, urban landscape.”

As for Belle Isle, Mensing says the Fish and Wildlife Service has recorded a nest on the island since 2018, likely from the same pair of eagles.

Though DDT has been banned and eagle populations are steadily rising, other hazards like “forever chemicals” called PFAS, lead poisoning, and even residual DDTs persist.

“You can still find levels of DDT in birds,” he says. “It’s still out there in the environment. Now, is it impacting them the way it used to? No, but contaminants like PCBs [polychlorinated biphenyls] that were used in manufacturing plastics also cause significant issues to eagle populations, especially in areas where manufacturing plants were using it more often like the Saginaw River and Kalamazoo River. We’re working with those areas to clean up and remove those contaminants.”

Mensing says regular people like us can do our part in keeping these raptors safe by giving them space. Also, slow down if you see one in the road, as they are relatively slow birds and many die from being hit by cars.

“Over in the Detroit area, in the Detroit River International Wildlife Refuge or other areas, you’re gonna see and hear eagles,” he says. “They definitely can handle people being around… but they still do need to be given some space, especially during nesting season when they’re busy trying to make sure that they’re incubating their eggs.”

He says if you happen upon a bald eagle nest, let the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service or Michigan DNR know so they can add it to their database. If the nest is in a Metropark, notify the park staff so they can put appropriate protections around it.

“As long as they have a food source,” Mensing says, “the eagles can survive.”

— Randiah Camille Green

A Bald Eagle spotted on Belle Isle.

EVAN DEUTSCH/ DETROIT AUDUBON

NEWS & VIEWS

hours and 6.4 walking miles.

For instance: the sidewalks seemed more crowded this year. Perhaps that is because fear of the COVID-19 pandemic is in decline. I saw no one wearing a mask, but they wore T-shirts that said things like “Free-Range Chick,” “Motor City Muscle,” and “Hillsdale Football.”

At one corner, guys from a marijuana store called Church Cannabis were giving away free . . . wait for it . . . . bottles of water. Above them, an airplane towed a sign from a different store that said “Leaf and Bud. Big Sale.”

Vanity license plates included “DROPOUT,” “VOOOODO,” and “MURRICA.” More plentiful than usual were the anti-abortion banners featuring fetus photos.

On the northwest intersection at Woodward and 14, a guy in a car turned the corner and shouted to an antichoice activist who spoke through a bullhorn.

“I respect your right to free speech,” he said, leaning out the window, “but get rid of those graphic images.”

Lapointe

By Joe Lapointe

So this gray-bearded guy wearing shades, camo clothing, and a “Vietnam Veteran” cap drove down the west side of Woodward Avenue Saturday and parked his Jeep in the driveway of a restaurant lot.

This was at the Dream Cruise, in the noon hour, just south of 14 Mile Road in Royal Oak. But his vehicle was unusual even by the gaudy standards of this annual summer feast of machine worship in the northern suburbs of the Motor City.

That’s because his distinctive Jeep was not hot off the lot or even tricked out in a customized way for civilian taste.

Instead, it had two, large guns mounted to it, one pointing straight at you if you stood in front of it. It appeared very much like an actual military vehicle that had either served in a war or was built to do so.

Quickly, a crowd gathered around it, ignoring — at least temporarily — the ’57 Chevys and the ’69 GTOs that roared by the curbside behind them, gunning their gasoline engines and burning their rubber tires.

Joining the audience quickly, however, bounded a bouncer from the restaurant. He wore a tight, white T-shirt over a fit torso and a disapproving expression on his face.

“You can’t park here,” he said, testily, more than once. “You have to leave. Gotta move this Jeep, or it will be towed.”

Gradually and reluctantly, ‘Nam Vet and his friends climbed back into their war machine and cruised out to whoknows-where on the 16-mile circuit that runs from Eight Mile Road at the Detroit City limit to M-59 in Pontiac, not only a city but also a brand of car named after a local Indian chief who long ago took on the British in a war.

Curiously, this military Jeep had tried to crash a party for a different war-inspired vehicle. In that very same parking lot was an exhibition for large Buick GMC products, including — in the center of it — the new 2023 GMC Electric Hummer!

As you may remember, the original, gasoline-powered Hummer SUV soared in popularity in the 1990s in part because its roots were in a mili-

tary vehicle (the “Humvee”) used in the Gulf War of 1991 when the United States drove Iraq out of Kuwait in a fight over oil.

The current, electric version of the Hummer will run you a $120,000 basic sticker price, before you add on the toys. (Guns, for instance, are not included.)

“This is definitely a super truck,” said the young woman giving me the sales pitch in what amounted to an open-air showroom. “It has 1,100 horsepower. The thing itself is a tank. It goes from zero to 60 in a little over three seconds.”

Indeed, a sign nearby called it “The World’s First All-Electric Supertruck.” While she spoke, an amplifier nearby played Journey’s recording of the song “Don’t Stop Believing,” but the sales person didn’t stop to sing the line about “Born and raised in South Detroit!”

In that I was north of Detroit, I walked on, mostly between 13 Mile and 14 Mile, just a fraction of the circuit. Thus, this is hardly a comprehensive report on everything that went on but rather a series of impressions from four

The preacher stood among a throng alongside eight lanes of the mediandivided Woodward, from kids to senior citizens, in a constant stream up and down Detroit’s most famous avenue.

In a metropolitan area hardly known as pedestrian friendly, the sidewalks — paradoxically — surge annually on the holy holiday of the automobile. At times, the pedestrians moved faster than the jammed cars. Among sidewalk occupants were those who rode on wheels without motors.

They included baby carriages, wheelchairs, and bicycles. Marching alongside them was a one-man band, playing an electric guitar and a harmonica amidst pre-recorded beats.

His roadies walked and rode slowly behind him, carrying his small speaker system. One of the guys wore a T-shirt that said “LIFE BEHIND BARS, IRON BANDOGS, Erie Chapter.” It also showed a skull wearing a hat that said “MISFITS.”

But it is hard to be a misfit at the Dream Cruise, now almost three decades old and said to attract a million car buffs from inside and outside Michigan. It takes all kinds.

It’s a free event. People come as they are — or were.

Kids sold lemonade from a homemade stand to Baby Boomers. A woman waved from the passenger seat of a car. The door beneath her window bore a sign that said she was 102 years old and “Loves Cruising.”

That would mean she was born in 1921, when Detroit soared into the Roaring ’20s and the Motor City – for better or for worse – put the whole world on wheels.

At a late-summer day’s Dream Cruise, some rides more welcome than others

Speaking of war machines: Can we interest you in an electric Hummer?

JOE LAPOINTE

Long live the Legends

At the inaugural basketball event Hoopfest, the Northwest Goldberg community unites

By Eleanore Catolico

A stiff leg doesn’t stop Fallyn West, 42, from chasing victory. The longtime Detroiter had fantasized about the moment the week before. West stands atop a fresh basketball court illuminated by summer sunshine.

Since the dreamy years of girlhood, basketball has been a compass for her life. “I always was an athletic kid, always played with the boys,” she says with a glimmer of nostalgic glee.

A former college player, she coaches for a recreational basketball league in Pontiac that keeps some players, she says, out of the penitentiary.

On a Friday afternoon in July, West relives her hoop dreams.

She is one of many spunky and battletested competitors attending the inaugural Hoopfest here in Curtis Jones Park. Featuring a walking path, playground, and basketball court, the park has become a treasured hangout for the historic Northwest Goldberg community on Detroit’s west side.

In this underinvested quadrant of the city, people ached for something beautiful and invigorating. The creation of the court, in particular, answered their prayers.

Over the next dizzyingly-hot three days, the festival offers a mélange of competitive basketball, casual basketball, food trucks, shoe giveaways, rap beats, swagger — all in the name of fostering neighborhood pride and good vibes only.

West is hyper-focused. She’s gunning for bragging rights and highly-coveted prizes: a Cade Cunningham signed jersey and ticket vouchers for a Detroit Pistons home game.

She doesn’t talk to her rivals. She treats the objective of winning the adult H-O-R-SE competition more seriously than anyone

else. She drains layups and jump shots and reaches the final.

Short, blonde locs resembling rotini pasta flop around West’s head. A lily tattoo on her arm pays homage to her late mother Belinda. The one who held up a broomstick in front of West’s teenage self so she could practice high-arching shots.

West’s moment to shine arrives. She needs to make one more shot. Just one more. Her inner voice calls her the G.O.A.T. From the free throw line, she shoots. The ball takes flight, forming an elegant parabola mid-air.

Swish! The ball goes in. West triumphs, flexing her biceps like Wonder Woman.

“I told you what I was gonna do,” she says, hopping up and down and vowing to her auntie Joyce that they’re gonna go see Lebron. No matter the arena, the championship mentality of a true baller never dies. Neither does the thirst for glory.

The court shimmers under the sunlight. West marvels at this slice of real estate she says brings camaraderie to the community.

“When you have a responsibility, such as keeping the basketball court clean, it pushes you to do it in your own neighborhood, in your yard. It makes you put your garbage can up. It makes you not litter,” she says. “This court is clean. It’s beautiful. And people make sure of that.”

A sign of revival

On a humble strip of Rosa Parks Boulevard., a few aging houses and uneven grasses orbit the basketball festival. From this street view, a smattering of tall buildings, utility poles, and lush trees disrupt the horizon line demarcating earth and sky.

Northwest Goldberg is one of the city’s oldest neighborhoods and has roughly 2,000 residents, mostly Black. Major roads and highways, including Grand River Avenue, I-94, John C. Lodge, and West Grand Boulevard., form the borders of an area that’s slightly below one square mile.

Daniel A. Washington, a 29-yearold native son of Northwest Goldberg, quickly points out this place’s vibrant past — the fascinating and the ugly. Of what once stood.

“My community has so much history,” he says, possessing a calm reverence. Raised on these streets, inheriting these stories, comes off as a badge of honor.

He talks about Olympia Stadium, an entertainment venue demolished in 1987 almost a decade before he left the womb. He talks about the neighborhood’s Jewish heritage.

Still, a lot of people aren’t aware of this history or the provenance of the neighborhood name. The area drew its name from Louis J. Goldberg Elementary School. Goldberg was a Jewish school inspector from London, England heralded as a “champion of children” for Detroit Public Schools, according to the Jewish Historical Society of Michigan.

The area has also gone by other monikers such as Zone 8, which conjures up a more painful parcel of the past. That name was actually a shortened code created by the police, referencing the 48208 ZIP code of the neighborhood.

From Washington’s perspective, Zone 8 carries negative undertones. “So a lot of the drugs and violence and gangs really put a bad light on this area,” he says, adding the police were openly racist toward Black people during the ’70s and ’80s.

The Northwest Goldberg name, Washington says, exalts the neighborhood’s historic legacy.

Real quick, a roster of history-making heavy hitters inhabit the neighborhood, including King Solomon Baptist Church and the Motown Museum.

Don’t forget about Rebel Nell, a jewelry store known for social enterprise work, and Marble Bar, popular for its 12-hour dance parties after dark.

Everywhere else, old homes and unused lots dot the landscape. Curtis Jones Park rose from the rubble of a vacant patch of land. Devoted to a beautification mission, Washington believes Black Detroiters deserve nice things, like a playground and a basketball court.

The park is another sign of revival.

“Fifteen years worth of children have literally lived in this neighborhood without those two amenities,” he says, his voice fluttering with a tone of injustice.

The construction of a police training academy, Washington says, made the old court on Marquette and 16th Street inaccessible. Since then, Washington had watched kids play basketball on the streets, deeming the whole setup unsafe as cars zipped by. Injury or worse was a clear threat.

Washington, broad-shouldered and big-hearted, was eager to resurrect life to what was lost. Through his community development organization, NW Goldberg Cares, founded in 2017, the executive director led a campaign to raise more than $420,000 needed to make the recreational haven into a reality — the fifth park in the neighborhood created by the organization. They plan to build 20 more public spaces by 2025.

Many families longed for a playground and a basketball court, cornerstones of shared life perhaps folks elsewhere take for granted. Now, it’s theirs to preserve. “This is owned by the community,” Washington says.

The Gilbert Family Foundation and many other philanthropic partners

helped fund the creation of Curtis Jones Park. The playground has a yellow slide, swings, a stationary Gumbygreen toy lizard for riding, and more. The NBA-size court, painted yellow, blue, and gold, has six hoops. Soon, there’ll be a scoreboard, thanks to a donation from PepsiCo.

The park, unveiled last October, is christened after Curtis Jones, a local basketball legend long gone. Before the hype era of Instagram and TikTok videos, Jones was his own brand of viral sensation in the late ’60s. But the life of one of the greatest Detroit high school basketball players ever to hit the hardwood spiraled into a woeful parable.

“His story is often forgotten, not told, not remembered,” Washington says, noting the park spurs curiosity and conversation about the playground icon.

“It’s important to honor him, not just to look at his story and say, ‘oh, that’s unfortunate,’ but to honor him and say, ‘this is what this man contributed to the community.’”

The basketball festival, a celebration of the sport and the life of Jones, showcases another truth about this neighborhood not dominated by blight and violence and tragedy. Maybe a bigger story that’ll outlive Washington.

The Magician

The air is prickly hot. Hydration is paramount. Gulp down one cup, or two, or three of KandE’s freshly squeezed lemonade or risk getting woozy.

The skills competition, a mosaic of ages, genders, and athletic gifts, floods the court on a Saturday afternoon during the second day of Hoopfest.

Right now, George Merriweather, 61, isn’t his day job, a forklift driver.

He has come to this court twice a week before the break of dawn, before he heads over to start his shift at an

auto plant just so he can play the game of his youth.

“Joy at no cost,” he says, enshrouded by a sense of peace. The drills paid off.

Right now, Merriweather is a bucket. Slender and graceful, Merriweather wins the free-throw contest, beating much younger players. His reward: Beats by Dre headphones. Today’s parlance would describe his performance as a flex. A tangle of guys give props to the O.G.

Washington, the master of ceremonies, cheered him on while also delivering color commentary. “You’re gonna have to soak tonight,” he tells Merriweather, smiling.

Merriweather recounts the folklore surrounding his mentor and friend Curtis Jones. The ball-handling skills. The supreme confidence.

All of those virtuosic traits earned Jones the nickname “The Magician.” Jones is a big reason why Merriweather picked up a basketball in the first place. “I wanted to emulate him,” he says. “People were so excited about him. It was a lot of joy. Knowing a lot of time you don’t see a lot of joy. Everybody in despair.”

Merriweather recalls the memories of a famous Michigan high school basketball game with warmth and affection. The game that anointed Jones’s legend. It’s 1967. In the heart of Osborn High School, the Public School League championship game rages between two bonafide super teams, the Northwestern Colts, led by junior point guard Jones, and the Pershing Doughboys, fronted by future NBA players Spencer Haywood and Ralph Simpson.

The game was also televised, making the whole Great Lakes State take notice.

The sport, based on newspaper accounts, was Jones’s true love. After his father died when he was 12, Jones

Detroit City Council President Mary Sheffield faced off against local rap star Skilla Baby for a basketball match during Hoopfest in the Northwest Goldberg neighborhood.

imagined playing basketball with clothespins, leaving garments scattered on the floor at home.

Fast forward to the epic game, Jones proves his mettle. With seconds left on the clock, Jones, skinny and agile, hits a shot. Colts win.

Final score: 63-61. Jones gets hoisted onto people’s shoulders.

After high school, Jones ventured away from the playgrounds of Detroit to the unfamiliar territory of Idaho, where he played for a junior college.

He couldn’t read beyond a fourthgrade level, according to a Detroit Free Press article from 1983. His secret was exposed. He had a series of nervous breakdowns. He never realized his destiny of NBA greatness.

Jones soon returned to his hometown, living in the basement of his mother’s house on McGraw Street perched a few blocks away from Northwestern. A few blocks away from where his star was born. He replayed the game-winner over and over in his head. A beautiful memory.

Eventually, Jones got diagnosed with acute schizophrenia. He was in and out of the hospital.

“I got too close to my dream and my soul could not bear it,” Jones told the Detroit News in 1990, summarizing a painful theme of his life.

Jones died in 1999 inside a psychiatric ward. He was 49. Among his last words were to his mother. He told her he loved her. He is buried in a cemetery in Redford, per a Detroit News article.

Merriweather says he knew Jones. He became a friend to the player he idolized ever since he was a child watching the Northwestern-Pershing game. Jones would shoot hoops in an alleyway near Merriweather’s house on Antoinette Street.

Merriweather remembers the softer

side of Jones. Of who he was beyond what went wrong.

“He loved kids. Kids loved him,” he says. “He’d come down the street with the basketball and then show you some moves, spin it like a Harlem Globetrotter.”

They dreamed together, all the time. They’d say blue sky, blue sky, a lot. Their shared words for dreaming. Merriweather says Jones wanted to buy mink coats for the girls. He wanted to fix up the houses. He wanted to build a basketball court in his neighborhood.

Outside the edge of the court is a sign featuring pictures of Jones looking calm and carefree and a little passage that reads like a poem:

The Magician.

Some knew you. Others revered you. There are those who even idolized you.

The smile.

The dribble.

The no-look passes.

Simply, the smoothest the game has ever been played. Making people cheer and look with utter amazement — knowing this type of player comes around once in a lifetime.

Not every legend gets celebrated, and like you, some don’t receive it until it’s too late, but this court…and this park… is to honor our own great.

Did you see that?

Curtis Jones.

Twenty four years after his death, people are still talking about Jones, spreading his story from one generation to the next.

Merriweather imagines his friend would have loved this park.

“This is his dream,” he says like a boy in awe. “I’m glad. I’m happy.”

Caretakers of the court

This Sunday is no time to rest. More

games ignite the court on the final day of Hoopfest. It’s a snapshot of pick-up basketball culture building community. In a charming way — spoonfuls of pure energy and rhapsody. Hard play. Hustle. Tactics. Theatrics.

A succession of mesh jerseys, baggy shorts, and fresh kicks zig zag across foul lines and three-point arcs. The game-play chatter sings like jazz.

“Don’t leave him. He’s a sniper.”

“Nobody’s tryna go pro!”

“There you go. There you go. Pass that rock.”

“He doin’ it for Curt!”

“Don’t start that, fellas.”

Dahviell Richardson is watching the three-on-three showdowns from the sidelines. He flashes a 48208 tattoo. He shouts tips to the players on how to level up their game. Pick-up ball is life around here.

“We’re a competitive neighborhood. We like to be the best,” he says. “If I’m out here. I’m 28. If I’m playing against an eight-year-old, I’m playing against him like a 28-year-old. So he know.”

A few days before, Richardson brought his five-year-old son to the court. They played against another father-son duo. Richardson can do this classic dad thing, thanks to this court.

“My son and his son. Me and him. We don’t know each other,” he says. “But we gonna get out here and try to make something happen for our kids. Something fun. Being in our kid’s life. It really matters a lot.”

Richardson never thought a nice court would sprout up here.

“In the last 10 years, this is the best move my neighborhood has seen,” he says, believing it’s a spark for change. The good kind. “They’re restoring the ‘neighbor’ back to the ‘hood.’”

The whole park is bumpin’. Two girls from the Motor City Dragons sell

World’s Finest Chocolate bars. Toddlers wail like an ambulance siren. Little kids riding swings gain altitude. More tikes make a joyful ruckus inside a blue and green bounce house.

A drone camera will soon ascend into the atmosphere. A Roy Lichtensteinesque food truck pulls up as the Boom. Boom. Boom. beats of “Rich Flex” by Drake and 21 Savage thump from the speakers.

Under a shade structure, DJ Gifted of Hot 107.5 FM keeps the bangers goin’. The sound blares, rattles the eardrums, could fill a mini-stadium just fine. The enormous sound is noisecomplaint loud, but the cops don’t seem to care. They’re guarding the table of donated shoes.

A large cloud looks like an ominous ink blot hell bent on ruining the party.

A trickle turns into a drizzle — the fickleness of Michigan rain.

A batch of festival-goers rush for cover under a white tent. Many seem unbothered, still shooting around. A torrent of jumpshots. Loose balls catapulting toward the bleachers. Balls grazing the orange rims. A bunch of airballs. The struggle is real. But there’s a certain poetry to an airball — of just trying.

All day, Washington ping pongs around the festival. The chaotic fun is hopefully a harbinger of better things to come. He then grabs a street broom and sweeps pebbles off the concrete walkway bordering the court.

The hope is the court will stay the way it is. The way it always should be.

Fortunately, he’s not the sole caretaker. Hours later, the sky up above is clear, and the vibe down below is obvious:

Long live Curtis. Long live the game of basketball. Long live the court of the people’s dreams. Painted yellow, blue, and gold.

COURTESY OF THE CITY OF DETROIT

WHAT’S GOING ON

Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

MUSIC

Wednesday, Aug. 23

Avery*Sunshine, Jamison Ross

7:30 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $15-$65.

Cat & Mike 7-9 p.m.; Berkley Coffee & Oak Park Dry, 14661 W. 11 Mile Rd., Oak Park; $10 suggested.

Danielle Nicole 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $20.

Fishbone, J. Navarro & The Traitors, Rodeo Boys 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $27.

Jimmie Vaughan 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $35-$240.

Kicksie, Proper., Low Lives In High Places, Cemetery Girl 6:30 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $12.

Lil Baby 7 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $44.50$274.50.

DJ/Dance

Vinyl Nite noon-midnight; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

Thursday, Aug. 24

Jonas Brothers 7 p.m.; Little Caesars Arena, 2645 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $39.95-$229.95.

LOUD & LOCAL, Cicrus, V*A*S*E, Fatal Conceit, Living Ai 7 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $15.

Sweet, Angel 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $20$180.

The Whitney Garden Party: One Ton Trolley 5 p.m.; The Whitney, 4421 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $5 individual or $15 VIP reserved tables for parties of 2, 4, or 6.

Melissa Ferrick 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $25.

Friday, Aug. 25

Adventurer, Pulses, Sails Ahead, Death Dance 7 p.m.; Parts & Labor, 17993 Allen Rd., Melvindale; $12.

Dominic Fike, Hether 8 p.m.; Michi-

gan Lottery Amphitheatre at Freedom Hill, 14900 Metropolitan Pkwy., Sterling Heights; $35-$85.

Greg Howe 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $30$180.

Hoods, Brick By Brick, Greater Vision, Death In Custody, Fleshwound, Dead Hang 5:30 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15.

Jann Arden 8 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $33-$78.

Jeffrey Osborne, Stephanie Mills 8 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $39.50-$100.

John E. Lawrence Summer Jazz Concert Series: Duane Parham 7-9 pm; Ford Lake Park, 7200 Huron River Dr., Ypsilanti; no cover.

Lori McKenna 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $30.

MySpace Rave / Top 8 8 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $7.50-$15.

Pancho Villa’s Skull, Gibbons, DJ E.M. Allen, open bowling and pinball 9 p.m.-midnight; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

Patio Nights: Rodeo Drive 6 p.m.; Flint Institute of Arts, 1120 E. Kearsley St., Flint; no cover.

Shop, Rock N’ Stroll Downtown Port Huron 6-10 pm; Downtown Port Huron, Huron Avenue, Port Huron; no cover.

Spencer Crandall 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $17.50.

Steve Taylor’s Songwriter Showcase w/ Xander Sky, Brad Stuart, Steve Acho 7-9 pm; Berkley Coffee & Oak Park Dry, 14661 W. 11 Mile Rd., Oak Park; $10 suggested door.

TayTay Party 8 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20-$25.

Vincent Chandler Experience 6-10:30 p.m.; The Blue LLama Jazz Club, 314 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $35–85.

DJ/Dance

Detroit Bass City: ATLiens, Funtcase, YOOKiE, Drinkurwater 8 p.m.; Russell Industrial ComplexExhibition Center, 1600 Clay St., Detroit; $35-$40.

Saturday, Aug. 26

August 23-29, 2023 | metrotimes.com

Abby Holliday, Josie Palmer, Emma Bieniewicz 8 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $15.

Foul Mouth 6 p.m.; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; $10.

Haunt, Hell Fire, Midas 7 p.m.; Outer Limits Lounge, 5507 Caniff St., Detroit; $18.

Josh Lewis, Aaron Reina, Ryan Brown 8 p.m.; New Dodge Lounge, 8850 Joseph Campau Ave., Hamtramck; $5.

No Bragging Rights, Mouth for War, Downswing, Your Spirit Dies 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $20.

The RFD Boys 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $16, $15 members, students or seniors.

Rise Up Detroit: Nikell Johnson and Groove Session 8 p.m.; Cornerstone Village Bar & Grille, 17315 Mack Avenue, Detroit; $15.

The Detroit Cobras 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20.

The Mega 80s 8 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.

Totally 2000 tribute bands 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $12.

Wendell Harrison & Tribe 6 p.m., 8:30 p.m.; The Blue LLama Jazz Club, 314 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $35–85.

DJ/Dance

Mark de Clive-Lowe, Shigeto & Melanie Charles 6-10 p.m.; New Center Park, 2990 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; $20.

SOULERO at BOWLERO with DJs powdrblu and Mike “Agent X” Clark 8 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover. Twerk x Tequila 4-9 p.m.; 3Fifty Terrace, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $23.60.

Sunday, Aug. 27

Angelmaker, Vulvodynia, Falsifier, Carcosa, A Wake In Providence 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $18.

The Bores, The Ghouls, And Gravy 6-10 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $10.

Breaking Sound Monthly Singer Songwriter Showcase: Ryan

Trager, Brizzl, Tess Clark, JonPaul Wallace Last Sunday of every month, 7-10 p.m.; New Dodge Lounge, 8850 Joseph Campau Ave., Hamtramck; $15 pre-sale $20 door.

Detroit Bourbon & Blues Festival

12-6:30 p.m.; Eastern Market, 2934 Russell St., Detroit; no cover for music, $60+ for tasting sessions.

Earth Tones: Concerts at the Cabin in Detroit’s Palmer Park

5-8 p.m.; Palmer Park Log Cabin, Merrill Plaisance St, Detroit; no cover.

JVKE, Hariz, Maisy Kay 7 p.m.; Majestic Theatre, 4120 Woodward, Detroit; $29.

The Lunar Octet 7:30 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $20.

Moonchild, Tank and The Bangas, Ric Wilson, Apropos 7:30 p.m.; The Aretha Franklin Amphitheatre, 2600 E. Atwater St., Detroit; $25-$75.

Sky Covington’s Sunday Night Jam Sessions every Sunday with band Club Crescendo 8 p.m.-midnight; Woodbridge Pub, 5169 Trumbull St., Detroit; donation.

Snuffed On Sight, Under The Knife, Nothing To Bleed, Come Forth, Concuss 6 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $15.

Monday, Aug. 28

The Nina Simone Tribute starring Faye Bradford 7-10 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $35.

DJ/Dance

Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.

Tuesday, Aug. 29

Hockey Dad 7 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $20. Los Straitjackets, Jake La Botz Trio 8 p.m.; The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; $30.

The Body, Troller, Dead Times 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $16.

Toosii: Naujour Tour 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $34.50-$44.50.

The Whiskey Charmers 6:30-7:30 p.m.; Alpino, 1426 Bagley St., Detroit; 10.

DJ/Dance

B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 p.m.-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover.

COMEDY

Improv Go Comedy! Improv Theater

Pandemonia The All-Star Showdown is a highly interactive improvised game show. $20. Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.

Planet Ant Theatre Ants In The Hall present ‘You Can’t Do That On Stage” Thursday, 8-9 p.m. Pay what you want.

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Jokes On You Comedy Tour with Cam Rowe, Kevin Johnson, Mike Geeter, Robert Jenkins, Ricarlo Williams, and Tam White (host). $20. Wednesday, 7:30-9 p.m.

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Scott Seiss $23. Thursday, 7:30-9 p.m. The Crofoot Rory Scovel $29.50 Wednesda, 7 p.m.

FILM

Screening

Michigan Theater Kiki’s Delivery Service. Thursday, 7:30 p.m.

MJR Troy Grand Digital Cinema

16 Detroit 48 Hour Film Project 32+ films created by filmmaking teams from across the metro Detroit region that were written, produced, filmed, and edited in just a 48-hour period during mid-August 2023. Group A films will be screening 1-3 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 26, Group B at 1-3 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 27, and Group C at 3:30-5:30 p.m. Sunday Aug 27 at the MJR Troy 16. $13.

Redford Theatre Annex Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931). Thursday, 7 p.m.

ART

Performance art

The Compound Body Paint Psychedelic Party Join us for an immersive experience of body art, live music by local rappers, and an inclusive atmosphere promoting self-expression and Black excellence. $20. Thursday, 7 p.m.-1 a.m.

Continuing this week

Color & Ink Studio Amanda Koss: Conversations With Myself. Through Sept. 22.

Cranbrook Art Museum Sonya Clark: We Are Each Other. Through Sept. 24.

detroit contemporary Laura Macintyre: Natural History Curiosities. Reception August 12, 6-10 p.m. Through Aug. 27.

Flint Institute of Arts On Press: Women Printmakers of the Early 20th Century. Through Oct. 8.

Galerie Camille Gilda Snowden: Florals: Urbana & Baroque. Through Sept. 4.

Janice Charach Epstein Gallery

Her Story. Through Sept. 13.

Library Street Collective Gary Tyler: We Are The Willing. Through Sept. 6.

Critics’ picks

Detroit Music Weekend

MUSIC: Bootsy Collins is recognized as one of the greatest bassists of all time, beginning work with James Brown in the 1970s and going on to see him craft his own unique sound. Now, Collins works as a teacher and mentor for the next generation of artists. His most recent single “Funk Not Fight” features emerging talent and straightahead messaging on anti-violence, mental health, and the promise of peace through the power of music. We’re sure he’ll bring that groovy and empowering energy to the Motor City as the host of this year’s annual Detroit Music Weekend, which celebrates Motown’s contributions to music. Before Collins takes the stage to announce headliners, local funk-focused artists will perform throughout the afternoon. The band Kingdom, led by Detroit bassist Kern Brantley, will play at 8 p.m. with a full evening of tributes to Collins’s funkiest songs.

—Layla McMurtrie

From noon-10 p.m on Saturday, Aug. 26; Music Hall Center for the Performing Arts, 350 Madison St., Detroit; detroitmusicweekend.org. Free and open to the public.

The Water Lantern Festival

FUN: As the sun sets on Lake St. Clair on Saturday, hundreds of floating lanterns adorned with messages will illuminate the water and drift away. The Water Lantern Festival is an annual gathering that takes place in dozens of locations across the country, and this year the event is coming to Lake St. Clair Metropark in Harrison Township. The event features food trucks, vendors, a scavenger hunt, music, giveaways, activities, and the awe-inspiring sight of hundreds of lanterns lighting up the lake. “This Water Lantern Festival creates a beautiful and unique way to share your hopes, dreams, and aspirations,” Nate Sorensen, the festival’s event director, said in a statement.

“It’s a night that you will never forget.” Each participant will receive a seven-inch wooden cube wrapped in rice paper and illuminated by an LED light. Attendees are encouraged to write or draw anything personal that brings “hope, love, happiness, healing, peace, and connection.” As many as 2,400 people are expected to attend the family-friendly event.

—Steve Neavling

From 5:30-9:30 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 26; Lake St. Clair Metropark, 31300 Metro Pkwy., Harrison Township; waterlanternfestival.com. Tickets range from $26.98-$55.99.

Self Care Station

WEED: What’s our favorite word? Self-care, especially when cannabis is involved. OK, so that’s more than one word, but what’s important is this “Self Care Station” event put on by Glow My Body Spa includes a dab bar. The event takes place at Hazel Park weed consumption lounge Hot Box Social and includes various self care activities like facials, aromatherapy, chair massages, puff and paint, waxing, yoga, and meditation sessions. There will also be a taco bar, fresh fruit, and vendors. This event is only for ages 21 and up, and if you’re a parent you probably need a break from those bad ass kids anyway. The Eventbrite says “BRING YOUR YOGA MATS” in all caps, so don’t forget it.

—Randiah Camille Green

From 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 26; Hot Box Social, 23610 John R Road Hazel Park; Tickets start at $70

Detroit Bourbon & Blues Festival

MUSIC: Michigan’s Larry McCray, 63, knows a thing or two about the blues: Born in Magnolia, Arkansas, and now living in Bay City, McCray has earned international acclaim for his

take on blues music, mixing acoustic Delta and electric Chicago styles along with his soulful voice. In his life he’s worked as a farmhand and later on a General Motors assembly line; his 1991 debut Ambition was recorded in a friend’s basement in Detroit, launching a music career that would see him share the stage with the biggest names in blues. He hit a bit of a slump in the early 2000s, however, and in 2013, he was diagnosed with cancer. His marriage soon fell apart. But he got a second act when fellow bluesman Joe Bonamassa invited McCray to make new music for his Keeping the Blues Alive Records, releasing Blues Without You in 2022. It’s McCray’s first new music in 15 years. McCray will headline the inaugural Detroit Bourbon & Blues Festival’s “Blues Street,” an outdoor performance space at Eastern Market’s Shed 5. McCray hits the stage from 4:45-6:15 p.m.; following acts Miller and the Other Sinners at 2 p.m. and Niecie at 12:30 p.m. The free concerts are accompanied by a ticketed bourbon tasting event inside Shed 5 where attendees can sample whiskeys and bourbons. Metro Times readers can use the promo code “METRO10” to get $10 off on ticket purchases through Saturday, Aug. 26.

—Lee DeVito

From noon-6:30 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 27; Eastern Market Shed 5, 2934 Russell St., Detroit; detroitbourbonandblues.com. Tickets are $60-$85.

Larry McCray headlines the Detroit Bourbon & Blues Festival on Sunday. COURTESY PHOTO

Wed 8/23 PATIO BAR OPEN @5pm

Thurs 8/24

KNUCKLEDRAGGER/PERMANENTLY PISSED/KNUCKLEDICK (PUNK/METAL)

Doors@9p/$5cover

Happy Birthday, MEGAN PAIGE!

Fri 8/25

DETROIT PARTY MARCHING BAND/ LOLLYGAGGER/LUCID FURS (BIG & LOUD/PUNK/FREAK ROCK)

Doors@9p/$5cover

Sat 8/26

FOUL MOUTH BEAT TAPE RELEASE PARTY

HOSTED BY DAGDA (PATIO STAGE)

BEAT SETS BY FOUL MOUTH/NICK SPEED/ KAIN COLE | MUSIC BY SIMPLE CUTS

POP-UPS BY DESTORY EVERYTHING & THE 37TH SHEILD LIBRARY

LIVE PAINTING BY JUICE

Doors@6p/$10cover

Sun 8/27

BANGERZ & JAMZ PATIO TEA PARTY

DJ AIMZ/DJ EM/DJ UNO MÁS

MIXING 90’S & 00’S

Doors@1-5p/$5cover

GRIND ESPRESSO RUM SLUSHIE SPECIAL!

Mon 8/28 FREE POOL ALL DAY

Tues 8/29

B. Y. O. R.

Bring Your Own Records (weekly)

Open Decks@9PM NO COVER IG: @byor_tuesdays_old_miami

Thurs 8/31

WDET 101.9 COMEDY SHOWCASE SERIES

“WHAT’S SO FUNNY ABOUT DETROIT” SEASON 3 HOSTED BY CULTURE SHIFT’S RYAN PATRICK HOOPER FEAT. 6 DETROIT STAND-UP COMICS! INFO&TICKETS @ WDET.ORG/EVENTS DOORS@6:30PM/SHOW@7:30PM

FOOD BY MIZZ RUTH’S

MUSIC

Local buzz

By Broccoli and Joe Zimmer

Got a Detroit music tip? Send it to music@metrotimes.com.

Good vibrations: Self-described “multi-sensory artist” Sophiyah E. is probably best known for her textured live compositions she makes with sound bowls and electronics. She knows a thing or two about how vibrations and frequencies work together to massage our brain and make us happy — you know, like listening to music. This Friday, she kicks off the first session in her “Mood Fruit” series focused on deep listening and thinking about how we perceive sounds in our world and how they impact our human experience. The event is free and open to the public (donations welcomed), and is hosted at Room Project in New Center, a community and co-working space for women, trans, and nonbinary writers and artists. Sophiyah has also invited DJ and cultural worker Crystal Mioner (aka DJ Etta) as a special guest for this session, so the conversation is sure to be fruitful. All are encouraged to submit a recording or share a sound experience. More info about Mood Fruit and how to submit a sound for this Friday’s session is available via the series’ Eventbrite page. —Joe

Local label spotlight on 100 Limousines: Here at the Local Buzz desk, we like to get our hands dirty and keep our boots on the ground of these streets. While digging in the stacks of the hallowed Peoples Records, I came across two new-to-me releases on the local 100 Limousines label, and popped over to the listening station to give them a spin. It seemed like vinyl copies had been recently restocked at Peoples, and one in particular, HERE AND NOW by Kemetrix, has been sold out online. Not a lot of information is provided about 100 Limousines’ releases, and I can only describe the Kemetrix album as otherworldly yet wholly Detroit — a caustic sound collage influenced by Cybotron, Urban Tribe, and Sin City Next up was IT DONT EXIST by Dunn, which is on the other end of the electronic music spectrum. Each side of the album is a continuous mix of deep ambient textures, with beautiful decay-

August 23-29, 2023 | metrotimes.com

ing drone compositions and ASMR-like synth runs that tickle your brain. Both albums are available on vinyl right now at Peoples Records, and probably other local outlets as well. Check out 100 Limousines Bandcamp page for their full catalog and digital downloads.

—Joe

Music at Northern Lights lounge:

As we mentioned earlier this year, Northern Lights Lounge has made their long-awaited return to New Center, and it didn’t take them long to get the music back on. While the programming is still warming up in these late summer months, you can catch legendary funk guitarist Dennis Coffey for free at 8 p.m. every Tuesday, among other great offerings. This week in particular, on Friday, Aug. 25, Detroit’s ambassador of underground dance music Mike “Agent X” Clark is bringing his Life Party to the lounge, featuring sets by Kevin Dysard, Tony Nova, Kalonji Mayaasa, Dr. Tingle Fingers, and Ma’dam Butterfly. As the summer begins to wind down, we recommend getting outside as much as you can, and what better way to do so than enjoying some great music on one of the most

pleasant patios that Detroit has to offer.

—Broccoli

An institution worth supporting: Right on the border of Detroit and Ferndale, Baker’s Keyboard Lounge has been one of the most important venues in Detroit’s jazz music scene for more than 80 years. Self-described as the “world’s oldest jazz club,” with its infamous keyboard-shaped bar and its storied history of guests from John Coltrane to Thelonious Monk to Dizzy Gillespie and beyond, the building is the place of legends, and the story of Detroit music would not be complete without its inclusion. We all know that Detroit is changing at a rapid pace, for good and bad reasons, so it’s important to remember that these historic businesses will not be around forever unless we continue to support them. So, if you haven’t already, or even if you have, make your way down to Baker’s Keyboard Lounge sometime soon to catch the J Hits Band (8-11 p.m. Sundays), the Ralphe Armstrong Trio (8-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays), or one of the many national and international acts that they host from out of town. —Broccoli

You should support Baker’s Keyboard Lounge. MICHELLE GERARD

MUSIC

A ray of hope from the depths of despair Kenny

Tudrick releases new single in tribute to late Detroit Cobras singer Rachel Nagy

By Dave Mesrey

Somewhere along the

banks of the Black River in rural Sanilac County, Kenny Tudrick is fixin’ to light out for the territory. After a decade of laying relatively low and helping raise a family with his partner, musician and photographer Drea Duchene, Tudrick is ready for the country.

But before he hits the road this summer with the world-famous, garagerockin’ Detroit Cobras, Tudrick is hard at work on some inspired new music for his upcoming solo album, his first since 2012.

On a recent visit to his down-home home studio, we persuaded the mysterious multi-instrumentalist to take a break from recording and join us down by the river to talk about his new song — and play a game of catch.

In contrast to the greasy groovers he released with the Cobras on his Black

River House Recordings label in 2020, Tudrick’s new single finds him immersed in the cosmic sounds of loner psych-folk.

“All Seeing Sun” pays homage to his friend and Detroit Cobras bandmate Rachel Nagy, who died unexpectedly in New Orleans last year at 48.

“This was the first song I wrote after Rachel’s passing,” Tudrick says. “It’s a tribute to her and the band — and to Rachel’s mom, Marge.”

When Tudrick’s longtime collaborator, producer Al Sutton, was re-creating some vintage Helios audio modules recently, he asked Tudrick if he might like to write something for the occasion.

Inspired by the Helios name, Tudrick found himself contemplating the power of the sun and realizing how Nagy was the brightest of lights.

With its heliocentric, Beatlesque

vibe, “All Seeing Sun” starts off with a droning Tanpura-guitar hum that mesmerizes the listener — and then suddenly rumbles straight into your brain on the tips of Tudrick’s cosmic drumsticks.

Recorded at Rustbelt Studios under the watchful eye of the all-seeing Sutton, it’s a song of love and remembrance, Tudrick says. A celebration of the human spirit, of the ties that bind.

In order to get to it, you got to go through it

In the months leading up to the song’s genesis, Tudrick was rocked by some devastating personal losses — both friends and family, including another former bandmate, the inimitable Eddie Harsch, and the new track proved cathartic for him in processing it all.

This new song, in some respects,

serves as a bookend to Tudrick’s last single, 2020’s “Make It Through,” which was also written with Nagy in mind.

“However songs come out, they come out,” he says. “This one really speaks to the power of music to heal and inspire. And why you choose to continue with one, compared to all the others — it’s kind of confusing; it’s like a mystery. But you learn not to question it — you just go with it.”

Tudrick has traveled a long and winding road as a songwriter over the years. And while he’s occasionally flirted with superstardom, his old bands the Numbers, Big Block, and Bulldog “all just kind of fizzled out” right when things were starting to happen for them.

Like the time Led Zeppelin’s manager came to see Big Block — but Tudrick just wasn’t into it.

Songwriting can be confusing, says Kenny Tudrick. “It’s like a mystery. But you learn not to question it — you just go with it.”

DREA DUCHENE

“I felt like something was wrong with me,” he says. “I just wasn’t ready for all that.”

But after years of battling the bottle and battling himself, Tudrick has been sober for over a decade now. And at 51, he’s ready for the next leg of the journey.

After the release of his double album in 2012, Tudrick really didn’t know which way to turn.

“I still don’t fuckin’ know,” he says.

But while he might fumble for the right words sometimes, it’s clear he’s never felt more connected to his music.

With the sun sinking low over the rural Michigan countryside and the shadows creeping over the trees, we decide it’s time to break out the gloves and play some ball. With his long locks and Black River trucker hat, Tudrick conjures up images of Kelly Leak and the Bad News Bears.

Donning an old Rawlings baseball glove that once belonged to former Tiger Ike Blessitt, Tudrick slings the ball around the riverfront like he’s Tommy Brookens and recalls his days playing ball with Jack White down around Wayne State.

“I remember playing third base one time — this was one of the best plays I was ever a part of in baseball. Jack scooped up a ball at first — his head was on a swivel. He fired the ball across the diamond to me, I had to dive— I’m wearin’ cowboy boots and drinkin’ — but somehow we caught Dave Buick leaning off of third.”

Third man out.

When he’s not playing music or playing baseball, Tudrick can be found tending to his garden, walking his dog, Junebug, or just sittin’ on a bank of sand watchin’ the river flow.

“It’s all a trip how I ended up here,” he says. “On my last record, I had this song ‘The River,’ and I pictured a place kinda like this. But back then I had no idea that Drea and I were gonna get together and get a house in the country.”

The country life seems to suit Kenny Tudrick well. He has a better sense of what he’s doing out here, and he’s more comfortable in his own skin these days. Detroit-based filmmaker Philip Lauri is even working on a documentary about Tudrick that’s been in the works for over a decade. It’s slated for release around the time Tudrick’s new album comes out next year.

In Nagy’s absence, Tudrick and the Cobras are forging ahead with Marcus Durant (from Zen Guerilla) on vocals. Along with bandmates Mary Ramirez, Dale Wilson, and Steve Nawara, the Cobras are tearing up the East Coast this week, snaking their way back to Detroit. They finish their run with a gig at the Magic Stick on Saturday.

After that they’re headed across the pond for a tour of Europe in the fall.

When the tour wraps up in November, that’s when Tudrick plans to refocus his energy on his record label and his solo material. He thinks he might even utilize his home studio as a getaway for Detroit bands looking to pull off a cool project.

Then again, he might just reinvent himself as a relief pitcher.

“I don’t really know, Tudrick says. “I’m still figuring things out.”

Black River House Recordings might not be a traditional record label, but it fits him like an old baseball glove.

For now, though, he’s excited to be able to get together again with people around the country who appreciate the Cobras’ music and who want to celebrate the life of Rachel Nagy.

“This is a great opportunity to come together and share that,” Tudrick says. “You can feel the love for the songs and for Rachel and for the band.

“I wish she was still here,” he adds. “Hug your loved ones.”

Doors at 7 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 26 at the Magic Stick; 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; majesticdetroit.com. With the Sugar Tradition and Hell Dollars. Tickets are $20.

“I remember playing third base one time — this was one of the best plays I was ever a part of in baseball. Jack scooped up a ball at first — his head was on a swivel. He fired the ball across the diamond to me, I had to dive— I’m wearin’ cowboy boots and drinkin’ — but somehow we caught Dave Buick leaning off of third.”

MUSIC

cant events and people in Franklin’s life, including her lavish birthday and holiday soirées, myriad studio and concert performances, and her homegoing celebration in 2018. And in almost every instance, the photographs and memories are Armstrong’s. “Most of them are my personal photos,” he says. “About 90% of them came out of my iPhone.”

Most revealing are his tales of life on the road for years as Franklin’s bassist. “I felt great playing with her because it was sort of like being in the army,” Armstrong says. “You had to play right, and if you didn’t she would tell you. The next night you’d be playing with your tongue and feet, anything to try and please her.”

Armstrong says that in time he came to appreciate the unique demands of Franklin as a superstar and businessperson. “You have to understand, she did everything for herself as a single woman,” he notes.

Tears of a clown

Aretha Franklin’s longtime bassist tells all

By Jim McFarlin

She is still among us.

Our magnificent waterfront amphitheater, hailed as one of the top 100 concert venues in the world, bears her name. A major motion picture and TV miniseries have been based on her life. Her voice is the soulful soundtrack of a generation, seemingly heard everywhere across the music radio dial and on SiriusXM. And in the latest headline, three of her four sons went to court to contest her estate, only to be told some papers found stuffed in her sofa are considered a valid will in Michigan.

Yes, Aretha Franklin remains a very present entity in our daily lives, making it almost impossible to believe the Queen of Soul has been gone five years this month. Dozens of books have been written over the decades chronicling her life and career. But nowhere are you likely to find a more loving, heartfelt, personal tribute to Franklin than in the book My Friend the Queen From Her Court Jester Ralphe Armstrong, compiled by her longtime concert sideman and Detroit-born bassist extraordinaire.

Armstrong readily admits that “court jester” is a nickname he bestowed on himself. “If I had a joke I would tell her, and she would go around and tell it to everybody,” he remembers. “We used to watch comedy DVDs together and just laugh and have a good time. I would go by her house and we would play together for hours. We were friends.

“Everybody else was just scared to death of her. I remember one time I came into the studio and Aretha was already there. She said, ‘Oh, Lord, here he comes! Ralphe, don’t you start no stuff now. Don’t you say nothin’!’ I said, ‘Aretha, you look as good as a bacon and egg sandwich today!’

“All I ever heard from her was, ‘Shut up, fool!’ We had a lot of fun, a lot of love and fun. That’s what the book is about, love.”

Armstrong subtitled the book “A Dedication to the Franklin Family,” as he credits Aretha’s sister Carolyn with “discovering” him at the Harper Recreation Center at the age of 12. He says it took nearly a year to finish the book (“Writin’s not easy? You ain’t lying!”)

but he was determined to complete it. “What inspired me was that I wanted people to truly know what kind of human being she was, how kind and beautiful she was inside,” he says.

“I don’t think people really know a lot about her, because folks used to have stories about her doing this or saying that, and a lot of it was lies. She was the most spiritual human being I have ever met. People need to know that she was always there for you if you were her friend.”

Of course, if you were Aretha Franklin, it wasn’t always easy to pick your friends out of the throng. “She didn’t like phony people to put on airs,” Armstrong recalls. “All that, ‘Oh, Miss Franklin, Your Majesty, Queen of Soul,’ she didn’t want to hear all that B.S. She just wanted you to be yourself.

“In fact, I remember she once asked me, ‘Do you know why you are my friend? Because you’re for real. And another thing: you’re crazy!’”

Equal parts photo album, memoir, and chronology, My Friend the Queen (available on Amazon and wherever books are sold) commemorates signifi-

“She had an agent, but after her brother Cecil died [the Rev. Cecil Franklin, who served as her manager], she pretty much took over managing herself. If she forgot and didn’t pay you, it was never personal. Aretha’s word was her bond,” he says. “If she said, ‘Ralphe, I’m gonna pay you when we get back to Detroit, give me about a week,’ the next thing I know I would get a call, ‘Ralphe, your money is here.’ She would call you. Unlike some, I never had to chase her down for one penny.”

Assisting Armstrong with the writing and editing of My Friend the Queen was his friend of 30 years, Denise Rachal — an accountant by profession. “Writing was my forte back in high school, but I decided I liked counting money instead,” she says with a laugh. “It wasn’t too difficult because Ralphe gave me all the information. All I had to do was tweak it and make sure I was putting it in his words.”

Like his friend the Queen, Armstrong, who won the annual Aretha Franklin Award from her veteran producer Narada Michael Walden in 2018, could live anywhere in the world but chooses to remain in his hometown of Detroit. “I got a whole ‘nother crop of musicians coming up,” he beams. “They’re geniuses, and they really want to learn. They’re like sponges. Beautiful young people.”

He’ll probably bring a few copies of the book with him to historic Baker’s Keyboard Lounge, where he’s been performing with his Ralphe Armstrong Trio from 8-11 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night for the past two years. “I’ve got Gerard Gibbs on keyboard and Gayelynn McKinney on drums,” he says. “She’s the only drummer Aretha never fired.”

COURTESY PHOTO

FOOD

parents proudly watching their little ones pack their cheeks with fries and pancakes feeds my soul as a father who remembers when. (Spying faces in the crowd still sporting surgical masks is a hoot, too. Half these holdouts continue to wear them only as chinstraps; an effective defense, one supposes, if one were trying to stop the spread of lower lipstick or goatee dandruff. Sigh.)

In defense of Coney culture

Places like Leo’s stand for something. For Michiganders, they’re monuments to working-class food culture.

Two “Detroit-style” restaurants opened in Phoenix years ago, where I had been living. Of course, I was curious. One promoted pizza à la Buddy’s and Jet’s. The other advertised itself as our kind of Coney Island. I popped in for a pie from the first place only once, leaving with nothing more than a Faygo Rock & Rye after the store’s one employee explained to me and the only other customer there that, with business slow as it was, he was working solo and prepared to fill our orders provided we had patience for the proprietary pie-making process he was still learning. Restaurant customer rule: If you go somewhere hungry for professionally prepared food only to be forewarned by staff that they may not deliver on that reasonable expectation, politely excuse yourself and, perhaps, return another time. As to the Arizona chili dog joint, it disappeared under dunes of disappointment maybe a year after its ballyhooed debut.

For all my years alive and well-fed in the desert, my one point of reference to Detroit’s Coney Island lore was the Hatfields and McCoys story of the Lafayette and American restaurants on Michigan Avenue; their enduring, chili-smothered frankfurter feud also

By Robert Stempkowski

mirroring the quirky mythos of the fictitious Olympia Café, a frenetic, foreign-yet-familiar, family-run food business comically captured in all its no-frills, no-nonsense glory by Saturday Night Live immortals John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd way back when. Restaurants that fit that bill still tickle me to death.

So, how do I love thee, Leo’s? Let me count the ways. Firstly, you serve a classic Coney for a song ($2.69, with everything). The naturally-cased dogs have that difference-making snap. You also get bonus points for the roasted beets and artichoke hearts in your Greek salads ($6.29-$11.29, four sizes), and for attaching calorie counts to your menu descriptions. They give me pause and, occasionally, willpower. Other times — often, when I’m weak — thin and crispy onion rings ($3.79) and a small handful of chicken-fried wings (five for $7.99) mitigate my guilt over gluttonous ordering. For the record, I’ll also heap praise on hand-battered cod ($7.19-$11.99, sandwich or dinner with chips and slaw), and a club sandwich ($8.19) which is the standard by which I measure the professional patience and pride of any short order cook or kitchen. Experience taught me what a pain in the ass this many-layered sandwich is to put together when it’s busy. Amateurs and the apathetic throw it together, which shows in the plating.

Committed culinarians create appetizingly colorful, precisely-cut, equilateral triangles of this glorious assemblage of meat, cheeses, garden goods, and mayo-gilded toast. And you, Leo’s, are true artists in this specific medium. Bravo! Encore! Of anything I’d say to keep you humble, the lemon rice soup ($3.69 cup, $4.19 bowl) left me cold. Mine tasted pretty darn close to pure lemon curd. More chicken/stock would have added some savory balance to the bowl.

Aside from Leo’s consistently satisfying food, there’s something to be said for servers there who feel comfortable calling customers “Sweetie” without coming across as inappropriate or artificially flattering. They’re just refreshingly comfortable in their own skin; not guarded and/or careful with every word, and allowed to be, presumably. And notice the winter clothes trees attached to every booth. That’s so Michigan to me. I can’t wait to hang my first scarf of the season on one and order a $2.59 hot chocolate. Also, I love how virtually every seat in the house at Leo’s is a booth. There’s something two shades more comfortable and welcoming about sliding into one over merely grabbing a chair at a table. So says me. Since every Leo’s is pretty much packed whenever I visit, the people-watching experience is typically a plus as well. Seeing young

Back in my old neighborhood after almost four decades out West, it feels like I’ve come full circle in a life’s work devoted entirely to food, from blue-collar Dearborn to fine-dining Scottsdale and back to suburban Detroit. These days, I meet for regular breakfasts and lunches again with two of my best childhood friends. John is a retired, white-collar career man from “Ford’s” (which Michigan’s answer to Mark Twain, Mitch Albom, once famously observed we Mitten-Staters claim so personally and possessively as our own), and Bret pastors a Christian church in Dearborn Heights. We met during our first day of kindergarten, and I’ve yet to meet a better man. Where yours truly is concerned, I just like turning a meal taken in a good restaurant with great company into short stories of what goes into social experiences that nourish us all, body and soul.

The merits of places like Leo’s, or chains like Florida-based First Watch and Illinois-based Brunch Café, are many. Give me a menu that triggers some degree of difficulty in deciding what to order — breakfast, lunch, or later — and let me order it any time of day. Sometimes, I crave Cobb salad at 10:30 in the morning. Some nights, I want breakfast for dinner. Coney culture hangouts accommodate that. Places where the service is human and genuine — not stilted and standoffish — satisfy a sociability we crave. Again, Coney culture delivers.

Visits to Leo’s have left me more confident in guessing what ingredient might have been missing from those Phoenix restaurants looking to satisfy what Michigan’s cut its teeth on culturally: actual Michiganders. When you’re raised a working-class Detroiter, you learn the value of a dollar and where you can go to spend it wisely among family, friends, and others who know exactly where you’re coming from. That’s Leo’s.

Coney Island-style spots like Leo’s earn the lion’s share of customer loyalty.

SHUTTERSTOCK

Chowhound

The customers are often wrong

By Robert Stempkowski

Chowhound is a weekly column about what’s trending in Detroit food culture. Tips: eat@metrotimes.com.

Karen & Kevin reservations: It’s hard to imagine myself working in customer service these days. Good at it once, I wonder how things would go now. Make no mistake: At 61, keeping up isn’t a concern. My worry is putting up with clientele the current culture pejoratively christens “Karens” and “Kevins,” a relatively recent trend in name-calling far kinder and gentler than the curt and coarser labels I’ve cursed under my breath at horse’s ass customers of both genders.

By nature, these characters are nothing new. People who sometimes lose it over something for some reason have been around since the beginning. I’m sure cavemen went apeshit over other cave folk’s hunter-gatherer habits. Knights in armor threw down the gauntlet over the slightest of perceived slights, and nowadays, YouTube offers ongoing evidence that temperance in societal evolution may yet be in its infancy phase. True confession: I’ve been a Kevin here and there myself. Case in point: I once picked a fight with a church pastor at a Little League field, in front of my son, his baseball team, and a handful of parents and parishioners. It was bad. I’m better now.

Shameful behavior is common in

hospitality industry horror stories. Today’s hard-to-handle consumers seem comparable to those I recall. To wit:

While seating a customer at a requested patio table once, she immediately remarked, “It’s too sunny.” After apologizing for our outdoor space having no shaded spots available and offering to reseat her inside, she dismissed me with a hand hush and an abrupt “never mind.” Two minutes later, her server told me, “A lady on the patio wants to ‘speak to somebody in charge.’” When I reappeared tableside, she shook her head and huffed, “I need you to do something about that sun immediately.” In my best God, creator of the universe, voice, I glared up at the sky, pointed toward the offending orb, and spoke: “I banish thee from the heavens!” She got up and left. It was 2002. There were no Google reviews to fear. Those were the days.

A girl getting drunk and obnoxious at my bar one night asked me for an empty pint glass. She’d just downed a Margarita after starting with a Bloody Mary and doing shots with two guys who offered to buy her a couple rounds. When I handed over the glass, she sealed it around her mouth and puked it full. Quickly but carefully, she put her mess down on the bar and pushed it slowly toward me, putting on a sloppy smile that made her look like Janis Joplin fading after another offstage party.

“Uh, listen,” I stepped back and let

her know. “You get to keep that one as a souvenir. Time to go.”

“Underssstand, sssorry.” Janis slurred. “I can’t drive. Will one of you guys…”

“I’ll get you home safe,” I intervened, waving off the duo who’d bellied up for the drinks she’d just barfed out. It was the ’90s. We called her a cab, and made sure she took an empty to-go cup for the road.

And if anything proves that old saying that angels watch over children and drunks, it’s this true tale of cry-for-help child-rearing:

Two new parents and their baby came into the restaurant without a reservation one evening while I wasn’t out front. As per what she’d been trained to do, our hostess directed them to the lounge area to wait for a table. Putting their precious little bundle on the bar top strapped into a car seat, they decided to start drinking. Apparently, other customers admiring the infant sprang for a few congratulatory cocktails. By the time I caught wind of the situation, mom and dad were three sheets bombed and oblivious, with a baby perched precariously four feet off the floor.

I made a beeline to the host stand, telling our girl to give Mr. and Mrs. Child Protective Services Case Study the very next table. Then I stood there watching the proceedings like a dummy. Sure enough, before anything

opened-up, someone squeezed in to order and bumped that car seat right off the bar. I saw it happen just like you hear about, in slow-mo. The seat did one complete flip over hard tile before landing back on its base. Mom screamed when she realized what had just hit the floor behind her. Dad and I got down on the ground where the baby had fallen in the next, same moment, nearly bumping heads.

“Oh my God,” was all I could say to his face. Then the ass had the audacity to stand up, point, and start to laugh.

“Look at that!” Dad stood grinning and gesturing over the carrier. “Like nothin’ happened.” Baby appeared fine; all belted in, wide-awake but neither injured, upset, nor even the slightest bit startled. It took another minute for everyone to realize how miraculously well things ended. Then the recriminations started, right after a few folks barked up — and rightly so — about babies having no business kicking it in bars (with their cute little feet and tootsies). I apologized; taking the blame for the most part, which is more than I can say for those parents.

“My child should not have been put in this position,” Mom, equal parts panicked and pickled, piped up at me. I couldn’t have agreed more. My bad in one sense, but get a clue in another, lady.

“Maybe we should report this,” baby daddy piled on. Now, there’s evidence for two proud parents to present in civil court. I could just hear them: “Your honor; we were just minding our own business, knocking back a few with Junior on the bar when…”

It’s like I’ve often said: The restaurant business might be better off with a few less customers.

Shameful behavior is common in hospitality industry horror stories.

SHUTTERSTOCK

FOOD

An 8-ft. pizza with your favorite sports game

The former Naked Burger restaurant in Rochester Hills is now Rochester Hills Social, a reimagined sports bar experience located at 6870 N. Rochester Rd.

It’s the latest venture by owners Chef Goran Dimic and Brandon Gorgies of G&B Hospitality, who also operate Naked Burger Clinton Township and Berkley Commons.

“We’ve had this elevated sports bar concept on our minds for some time now,” Dimic said in a press release. “We were scouting different locations then realized the perfect spot was right under our nose. While our Rochester Hills Naked Burger had some great success, we realized this concept better suited the area while the building itself lends well with our expansive bar, upstairs lounge space, plentiful parking, and more.”

The transition from Naked Burger to Rochester Hills Social was completed in under a week, involving updates

like new signage, installing TVs, and upgrading the décor.

The menu is diverse, featuring shareable items, pizzas, main dishes, salads, and handheld options. A unique feature is the “pizza for the table,” allowing groups to enjoy an up to 8-foot pizza together. The new spot also boasts an extensive beverage selection, including a rotating list of fifteen draft beers, craft cocktails, margaritas, and a wide range of wine and bubbly options.

As an introduction to Rochester Hills Social, the owners are hosting RH Social Summer, a Wednesday night event series that includes a DJ, bottle service, food specials, and extended operating hours until 2 a.m.

Rochester Hills Social is open seven days a week, with normal business hours beginning with a daily brunch at 11 a.m. and the doors closing at midnight.

—Layla McMurtrie

New Latin coffee shop and cantina Encarnacion planned for West Village

Born and raised in the Dominican Republic, Robert Encarnacion now calls Detroit’s West Village home and wants to bring a taste of Latin American coffee, food, and culture into the neighborhood.

The owner plans to open a coffee shop called “Encarnacion” in the next few weeks and then launch a Latin street food cantina in the same building shortly after.

“I want to be able to bring some of the food staples that we have, that are casual bites, that you can find in any streets of the countries that we come from – the Dominican Republic, Mexico, Venezuela,” he says. “And our coffee beans are going to be strictly Latin American.”

Initially, he says he didn’t plan to name the coffee shop after himself, but one day he stumbled upon the definition of his last name “Encarnacion,” which he says means “a spiritual being taking the shape of a human,” and felt that it resonated with people’s relationship to coffee, which wakes you up and makes you feel alive.

He claims he was not a coffee drinker at all until he went back to college in 2014 and says he needed it to get through school and “being an adult.” Living in Miami at the time, he fell in love with Cuban cortaditos.

In July 2019, Encarnacion moved to Detroit, partially because of his work flipping houses, and found a home in West Village a few months later.

During the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, he decided to take a class on how to make latte art using a French press, which is when the idea of opening a coffee shop first sparked. Now, he has built up a small following on Encarnacion’s Instagram page showing his time learning about the art of coffee making.

In April 2021, Encarnacion purchased a building at 8016 Kercheval Ave., but the journey to actually opening the cafe’s doors has been difficult, which the owner says has mainly been due to an increase in costs because of inflation.

“We have been pretty much selffunded and it has been quite of a ride since we purchased our own building,” he says.

Finally, now, most of the necessities for the space have been sorted out, apart from an elevator to make it accessible and a kitchen hood, which he says he should be able to get in the coming months.

“Our space is going to be a dual concept. We’re going to have two countertops, two POS systems, one is going to be the coffee shop and the other one is going to be the cantina,” Encarnacion says. “There are going to be some visual differences there, so you might feel like you are in two separate places depending on where you sit.”

Encarnacion hopes for the inside of the shop to have an intimate, cozy atmosphere, mixing West Village’s “vintageness” with modern design.

Encarnacion says he moved to Detroit from Miami because he felt the city had a “window of opportunities,” with lower costs. He still feels that way and says he often complains to local Detroiters that city residents aren’t taking advantage of investing in their hometown.

“I think Detroit is a bag full of opportunities,” he says. “We have probably 10 years worth of opportunities to just lose the fear and go and I’m super excited with what’s happening as far as the investment infrastructure. I think Detroit, for those who are willing to give it a chance, is going to be a very rewarding city.”

While Encarnacion acknowledges that outside investors can push out Detroit residents, he thinks that Detroiters should be investing in their own city to help allow the people who have grown up here to stay.

“I’ve seen it myself because I’ve seen how the West Village has changed,” he says. “A lot of [Detroit residents] I understand are going through a very rough period of time, but what we need to do as locals is be very vocal about it. I do believe that unfortunately a lot of people are going to be pushed out, but if people lose fear and start investing in their own neighborhoods, I think we’re going to be able to keep the majority of the people that have grown up in those neighborhoods. But if they don’t, somebody else is going to do it and, unfortunately, displacement is gonna happen.”

Working as a banker for Bank of America until a year ago, Encarnacion says he handled local small business clients and “has gotten to know a lot of people in Detroit” who he feels could afford to invest.

“There’s a lot of people making these middle-class salaries in the city of Detroit but they’re still not investing in their neighborhoods. They’re actually discriminating on their own neighborhoods,” he says. “They’re looking to go to the suburbs, which was surprising to me that you would prefer just to go to the suburbs, and that was a lot of people. I’m telling you a lot of the people that could actually stay put and bring a lot more value in, they’re just choosing not to, and then people from outside come in and buy into these new opportunities.”

He adds, “But again, it’s a complex situation.”

When it comes to the coffee shop though, Encarnacion says his team is focused on offering unique products and staple Latin food items at an affordable price. He says he is super excited that the city approved an outdoor patio for the space, as it will increase seating and allow for occasional live Latin music performances.

“The idea behind that is to bring culture and folklore from Latin American countries into the West Village, and I think every place on Earth needs a little bit of that mixture,” he says.

—Layla McMurtrie

A unique menu item at Rochester Hills Social is the “pizza for the table.” COURTESY PHOTO

CULTURE

Art is everything

How Art Night Detroit fuels the creative flame of the city’s multifaceted artists

By Layla McMurtrie

Creativity, camaraderie, authenticity, and a village of support crafted with intention — that’s just some of what you’ll get walking into Art Night Detroit.

Not only is art important for communities, but having a community is important for artists. Local artists are provided one through this event, described by its founder as “a trio of networking, creative work time, and a club-esque setting.” The event has grown from a private house hangout between friends to a community experience.

The event’s magical feeling is cultivated through dim lighting, not-tooloud music, unique spaces, emerging local artists, and the brain behind it all – Detroit-based artist, graphic designer, DJ, and producer Nathan Karinen.

In 2018, Karinen began hosting Art Night as a way to keep in touch with friends who all met in the same house and were moving apart. At the time, it was invite-only, usually around 10-15 people, and took place at Karinen’s own home.

The event always happened on a Wednesday then, and it continues to do so.

Starting in January, Art Night Detroit has been open to the public at various venues across the city, averaging around 100 people in attendance each time. Karinen’s simple yet powerful vision has flourished, granting local artists of all sorts a consistent collaborative networking environment, promotion engine, workspace, and overall fun time.

“I try to get a lot of influential people in one place and make it easier to meet the kind of people that you might want to meet as a creative in the city,” Karinen says. “It’s a change of pace, where there’s live music, but it’s not about the drugs, it’s not about staying out all night… It’s about coming together as a community to have time to work on your creative passions, to share whatever your creative passions are, and just have an enjoyable evening with your peoples.”

To the founder, art, in all of its forms, is the “spice of life.”

So each Art Night, he curates a refreshingly distinct setting at a different Detroit venue, gathering multiple visual artists with unique styles, a lineup of DJs with varying sounds, and

sometimes, an upcoming food pop-up.

Some of the most recent spots to host Art Night include Indian gastropub Midnight Temple, warehouse nightclub Big Pink, retail studio space Extra Crispy Studios, and the Hamtramck bar New Dodge Lounge. For the first three months of taking it public, Art Night happened every week, and Karinen would hastily find last-minute places to host; since that was a little too much chaos, the event now happens every other week, sometimes more often if special opportunities arise.

Karinen says his goal with Art Night is to create something that he wished he had when he was a new artist in Detroit, and putting a spotlight on all of the talented people he’s met along his journey is a huge piece of that. So, before each Art Night, he makes an Instagram post tagging any new featured artists or venue that week, to allow people to get to know them and what they do.

“It feels good to promote my friends and be able to create a platform for the people that I like to spend my time with,” Karinen says. “It’s good to just kind of highlight all these different

facets of creativity and make something happen for other people while also helping grow my own thing. It’s kind of a symbiotic relationship in that way where it’s like I’m helping others and also helping myself at the same time.”

Sometimes, people’s way of expression is playing chess or ping pong, writing, coding, or pursuing another creative passion, and Karinen says he doesn’t like to be strict about it.

“It makes us, as the artists feel really good and supported, which gives us more motivation and passion to keep going,” says Mia Gale, a recently featured artist known for her clothing brand Freakscape. “What Nathan’s doing is just so amazing… As long as Nathan gets to be upheld as a beautiful human, that’s all I care about.”

Gale feels that the array of unique ways people express their creative passions at Art Night demonstrates the “diversity of humans.” This variety of art is what makes it so important for communities.

“I feel like art is everything, art is the food, the music, the pictures, the people, everything is art in its own capacity,” says Daniel Geanes, a Detroit

Art Night Detroit is a consistent, collaborative environment for local creators.

WOOBENZ DERIVEAU

painter who was also featured recently. Geanes, whose artist name is Eccentric Danny, first met Karinen through Detroit sculptor Austen Brantley and was invited to the house party event before Art Night was public. Now, both Geanes and Brantley continue to come out and support the community effort.

“I just love to create,” Geanes says. “I’m gaining the specific attention that a featured artist gets, that’s a great feeling because it’s showing that recognition.”

Also meeting Karinen through Detroit’s art scene and attending it before it was public, Gale says she has been to some art events where it seems like the person putting it on just wants the clout of hosting, which is so far from Karinen’s goal. “He could care less if people knew it was him, I mean that’s the vibe I get from him,” Gale says. “He’s just such a gentle, sweet human. He doesn’t have much ego behind it, so you know it’s genuine and authentic.”

The multifaceted artists say they really enjoyed the intimate nature of Art Night when it was held at Karinen’s home.

“You go, and you had to take your shoes off, I love that, it’s just very homey, makes you feel very comfortable and welcome,” Gale says. “I love what he’s been doing now but I would also love it to be in a home again.”

While the event is no longer inviteonly, and Karinen says he has “lost complete control” of who attends, Art Night is mostly word-of-mouth, and not using traditional marketing has helped keep the right people there, he says.

“People bring people that they think will be genuinely interested in the event, so that creates a community of people that are all there for the right reason,” Karinen says. “I don’t necessarily want just anyone, so it’s nice that people are bringing people that care.”

One core component of Art Night is the community drawing sessions, which gives people of all levels a chance to create some type of art.

“I try to get everybody that comes to work on a group drawing together, even if it’s just a scribble,” Karinen says. “It gives a chance for more experienced artists to show off a little bit, and it gives art-averse people a chance to do at least a little bit of visual art so they can’t skate by just hanging out and having drinks and socializing.”

The visual artists are only one piece of the Art Night puzzle. Another is the music. While some people love the techno, house vibe, some are more into other types of music.

DJ Palmwine has been a part of the event’s music lineup a few times and mainly plays R&B, hip-hop, and Afro -

beats. He also met Karinen through a mutual friend and was invited to spin at his home, close to the time when he first began DJing about a year and a half ago.

“Incorporating art and music into [spaces] makes it more inclusive and opens it up to different interpretations of what community is and what it can look like,” DJ Palmwine says. “When folks come, they may not have gone to that specific space or went to see that specific artist… so it kind of shows the interconnectedness.”

While he’s always had friends in music, DJ Palmwine says he never saw himself as a “creative,” but that Karinen helps foster a motivating environment to express yourself in your own way.

“Specifically as a DJ, a lot of times it’s very gatekeep-y and I think Nate does a great job of not succumbing to that and giving folks opportunities who may not have otherwise had [one],” DJ Palmwine says. “With my social work background, I saw the importance of gathering community and bringing folks together. I started DJing as a tool to do that more informally, curating a space where folks felt comfortable and setting that vibe with music.”

Karinen hopes to add to the event’s success with new additions such as yoga, painting and graphic design contests, production and vocal competitions, and photography showcases.

“It’s getting to a point where it’s been smooth sailing, and it’s been really good, but I want to keep adding new programming and there’s kind of an unlimited nature to it,” Karinen says.

Looking forward, he hopes to make Art Night into a nonprofit and do more community activities for all ages, as well as making a for-profit music production company for the nightlife side of things.

“I could see us being at the [Monroe Street] Midway and having an all-ages event, doing sidewalk chalk and kind of having it be accessible,” Karinen says. “I’d like to take it in a community service route as it continues to grow and start to take the beneficial properties of it and really continue to expand that beyond what we’re doing already.”

Karinen is happy he has been able to foster a space for people to express themselves authentically.

“A lot of people have this creative urge where if it’s not satisfied, it feels like you’re missing something,” Karinen says. “Art is a little piece of you, it’s part of your subconscious conscious mind that you’re putting onto paper, so it’s kind of like your own little gift to the world, so it’s really nice to be able to give people a spot to show that.”

CULTURE

assumes the role of Beth’s husband.

Landscape’s highly unpredictable plot continues to take hairpin turns — including the Vuvv’s besotted embrace of a mural by Adam, a talented but still raw young artist whom the aesthetically impaired aliens deem a visionary genius — before a conclusion that offers a modest, guardedly hopeful testament to human resilience (and resistance).

Hook, line, and sinker

By Cliff Froehlich

Landscape with Invisible Hand

Rated: R

Run-time: 1-5 minutes

A black-comic story of an alien invasion — or, more exactly, an alien insinuation — Landscape with Invisible Hand can’t be faulted for a lack of ambition. Through its science-fictional funhouse mirror, the film manages to reflect a number of urgent contemporary issues — primarily income inequality, but also the deformation of our behavior by both traditional and social media, the seductively dangerous lure of technology, and the falsity of the market’s “invisible hand” ensuring that the common good somehow results from the pursuit of self-interest. And along the way, Landscape both earnestly extols the power of art to inspire and sustain, and satirically explores white privilege, downsizing, litigiousness, and censorship. Unfortunately, despite undeniable moments of humor and insight, Landscape never quite fully comes together, its many individually admirable parts failing to assemble into a coherent whole.

Directed by Cory Finley (Thoroughbreds, Bad Education), whose screenplay adapts a short novel by

well-regarded YA author M.T. Anderson, Landscape with Invisible Hand envisions a near-future in which an alien race, the Vuvv, has essentially engineered a corporate takeover of the Earth. Rather than conquering the planet with force, the Vuvv simply dangle a glittering hook baited with advanced tech before our business overlords, and they (and thus we) become ensnared, willingly giving up control to gain access to the aliens’ seemingly wondrous and benign innovations. As usual, only a privileged few benefit from this exchange — they live in splendid isolation in floating cities that hover imperiously above the increasingly blighted world below — but most find themselves consigned to a hardscrabble existence, their jobs largely made obsolete by Vuvv technology.

The film efficiently delivers this backstory through a Vuvv-produced propagandistic lesson at the high school of 17-year-old Adam Campbell (Asante Blackk), whose family illustrates humankind’s diminished state: Newly single mom Beth (Tiffany Haddish), a former attorney now futilely searching for any sort of menial job, attempts to care for Adam and his younger sister (Brooklynn MacKinzie) by fending off creditors and retaining their home after her similarly unemployed husband (William Jackson Harper) departs in

search of elusive opportunities elsewhere. Beth’s problems only compound when Adam impulsively offers their basement as a temporary shelter for the unhoused — and somewhat churlish — family of lovely new classmate Chloe Marsh (Kylie Rogers), in whom he has more than an altruistic interest.

Serendipitously, the blossoming attraction between Adam and Chloe offers a potential financial lifeline to both families: The Vuvv, who have no romantic inclinations of their own — they reproduce asexually — find humans’ courtship rituals a source of fascination and willingly pay for access to the mysteries of love. When Chloe suggests that they monetize the relationship by livestreaming their interactions to the Vuvv, Adam reluctantly agrees. Their “show” proves a cash-generating hit, but Adam eventually comes to resent the performative requirements. As this fracture begins to split the teens, it becomes evident that Chloe’s feelings are at least partially feigned, and the alien audience proves resentful of the deceit. An aggrieved Vuvv viewer sues for a refund on behalf of her brood, who had become strongly invested in the couple, and Beth is forced to negotiate a bizarre settlement: One of the plaintiff’s offspring, curious about human marriage, takes up residence with the Campbells and

Given the film’s level of invention, serious thematic aspirations, and winning performances, especially by young leads Blackk and Rogers, there’s much to recommend in Landscape, but blind spots in its dystopian vision require viewers to overlook far too many logical inconsistencies. The fundamental premise of the film — Earth’s easy acquiescence to the Vuvv because of our desire for its seductive tech — entirely ignores the world’s complex geopolitics. The corporations that exert a controlling influence on the U.S. and other Western capitalist countries could perhaps be gulled by the Vuvv’s promises, but would authoritarian regimes in such places as Russia, China, or Iran — much less North Korea — so willingly cede their power? Of course, Landscape is more a fable than an exercise in detailed world-building — it’s more George Saunders than George R.R. Martin — but such nagging questions, both large and small, keep eroding our belief in the film’s shakily constructed reality.

This proves especially true of the Vuvv, whose physical oddity would seem to undercut their putative superiority. The Vuvv’s eccentric design — eyestalks extend from a square torso that evokes a trash-compacted walrus, complete with flippers in lieu of legs, feet, arms, and hands — elicits its share of laughs, but the aliens’ lack of dexterous appendages makes us ponder exactly how they built their astonishing machines.

The Vuvv also appear mentally obtuse in the extreme. For enigmatic reasons, TV sitcoms of the 1950s and ’60s — The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet figures prominently in a key scene — shape the Vuvv’s skewed view of human relationships. Presumably, they first encountered such programs when they began observing Earth, but did all subsequent media escape the Vuvv’s attention? Colonizers often wildly misinterpret native cultures, so the Vuvv have ample human precedent for their blinkered views, but for an intellectually advanced race, they seem remarkably devoid of research skills.

But even with its flaws, Landscape with Invisible Hand offers enough provocation and pleasure to overcome any literal-minded reservations.

Chloe (Kylie Rogers) and Adam (Asante Blackk) hatch a risky plan after an alien takeover.

LYNSEY WEATHERSPOON © METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES INC.

CULTURE

Savage Love

She will not be ignored

By Dan Savage

Dear Readers: I’m off this week, so please enjoy this evergreen column from February 2011. If you’re wondering whether I’ve gotten any nicer over the past 12 years, this column is proof that I’ve gotten nicer. Way nicer. Enjoy! —Dan

: Q I’ve written before, but I didn’t hear back from you — probably because my e-mail didn’t contain flogging or santorum or whatever. But I won’t be IGNORED, Dan. My question: I’m a 32-year-old female. Second marriage, two kids: one kid with my ex and one with the man I cheated on my ex with (my current husband). My problem: A year ago, I found my “first love” on a social network. I’d been looking for him off and on for more than 16 years. This person was a jerk who left me for one of my friends back in high school. But he was and still is the love of my life. Always has been. Always will be. He is not married, has never been married, and has no children. We began an affair about seven months after finding each other. My marriage, my second marriage, had been rocky before this. My second husband, of three years, stopped having sex with me after I became pregnant, and this continued after our child was born. We tried counseling. It didn’t help. In no way am I using this as an excuse. I know what I’ve done is wrong. But I also have a pretty bad track record and have cheated on every man I’ve ever been with, except for my first love.

This man, my first love, is the worst person in the world for me. Yet I’m in love with him. I have ALWAYS been in love with him. He wants me to leave my white-collar husband for him, a very blue-collar guy. I live in a nice home in the suburbs; my first love lives in a small apartment in the city. Five months after we began having sex with each other, my current husband found out. Instead of leaving me, he has turned into a different man: extremely loving and attentive. He says this experience has made him realize how much he loves me and that he doesn’t want to lose me.

My other problem: I didn’t begin this

affair to get my second husband’s attention. I began it because I’m in love with my first love and always have been. My husband knows of my deep feelings for my “first.” I mention divorce often, but it falls on deaf ears. I want to do what is best for my kids — and that would be staying right where I am. But I feel my only chance for “true” love, if there is such a thing, is passing me by. I’ve never felt for anyone as I do for this man. Every man who has come into my life AFTER him knew about him and knew that if he ever came back for me, I was gone. This includes my current husband. Dan, pull out all the stops on this one, as you famously do, and please tell me what to do.

—Serial Cheater In Love

A: I’ve read what you’ve written before, SCIL, but I didn’t respond because I didn’t have much to say to you and I still don’t. I had the same reaction reading your e-mail today that I had reading all the other e-mails you’ve sent. My reaction is a little selfish, and I’m a little embarrassed to share it with you. But you keep asking, SCIL, and so here it is:

THIS BITCH CAN GET LEGALLY MARRIED AND I CAN’T?!?!

Sorry, sorry, sorry. That was cunty of me — nowhere near the level of compassionate professionalism that people expect of me — and so now I’m going to have to make amends by scrounging up some of that advice shit you’re after. But I’m going to offer you my advice on one condition: You don’t write to me ever again.

OK!

You say you’ve cheated on every man you’ve ever been with, with the exception of your “first love,” SCIL, and you regard that as a sign your first love was your true love. But I see signs of circular reasoning/magical thinking — you’ve concluded that he must be the love of your life because you didn’t cheat on him, and you didn’t cheat on him because he’s the love of your life. No. You didn’t cheat on him, SCIL, because you didn’t get around to it. You two broke up when you were 15 years old. If you’d been with him a little longer — another week, maybe two — you would’ve cheated on him like you’ve cheated on everybody else.

If you leave your current husband and break up your first child’s second home and your second child’s first home and go back to your first love, SCIL, it won’t be long before you get around to cheating on the love of your life, too. Because you’re a cheater.

You’re a habitual, serial cheater. You’re precisely the kind of person who shouldn’t make monogamous commitments. Or get married. Or have children.

So, what should you do? Stay? Go? Frankly, SCIL, I don’t give a fuck. Stay or go, it’s not going to make a fuck of a lot of difference. Your personal life is a mess, SCIL, and it always will be. Because, you see, wherever you go, there you are

That said: If your current husband doesn’t mind being cheated on, if he can put up with your affairs and wants to put your children first, then I think you should stay with him for the sake of your kids. They deserve whatever stability and continuity you can scrounge up for them between infidelities.

Again, if you leave your current husband for the love of your life, SCIL, it won’t be long before you’re cheating on your third husband and preparing to uproot your kids a third/second time. I know it, you know it, everyone out there reading this knows it, even your current husband seems to know it.

So just stay put, OK?

: Q My girlfriend of two years, my first real relationship, broke up with me a month ago. Although I felt like shit

for most of that month, we somehow managed to struggle through to a close friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m entirely over her, but I understand why it happened and that we won’t be getting back together. All in all, I’ve felt like we’ve both been pretty mature, and things are going well.

The complication: We still find each other attractive, and we work very well together sexually. So, she proposed an FWB arrangement, and I said yes. We laid down ground rules — we are not together, we are just friends who fuck, so no “I love you,” no commitments, no expectations — and we started having hot sex. Is this foolhardy? We both know that I’d prefer something more. So, the question remains: Should we keep fucking?

—Can’t Recall Acronym Procedure

A: How are you going to feel when your ex-girlfriend/current-fuck-buddy finds a new boyfriend and ends your FWB arrangement? If you can honestly answer, “I’ll be happy for her,” then you can keep fucking her — but don’t forget to ask for your balls back when she dumps you that second time.

If you can’t say that and you decide to keep fucking the ex-girlfriend anyway, CRAP, you wouldn’t be the first lovesick dumpee who agreed an FWB arrangement with an ex in the mostlikely-delusional-but-you-never-know hope of getting back together. If the short-term rewards (all that hot sex) and the potential long-shot payoff (getting back together) make the risk seem worthwhile, then keep fucking.

Dear Readers: SCIL held up her end of the bargain — she never sent me another letter again.

Send your question to mailbox@savage. love. Podcasts, columns, and more at Savage.Love.

“If you leave your current husband and break up your first child’s second home and your second child’s first home and go back to your first love, SCIL, it won’t be long before you get around to cheating on the love of your life, too. Because you’re a cheater.”

CULTURE Free Will Astrology

ARIES: March 21 – April 19

None of the books I’ve written has appeared on the New York Times best-seller list. Even if my future books do well, I will never catch up with Aries writer James Patterson, who has had 260 books on the prestigious list. My sales will never rival his, either. He has earned over $800 million from the 425 million copies his readers have bought. While I don’t expect you Rams to ever boost your income to Patterson’s level, either, I suspect the next nine months will bring you unprecedented opportunities to improve your financial situation. For best results, edge your way toward doing more of what you love to do.

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20

Addressing a lover, D. H. Lawrence said that “having you near me” meant that he would “never cease to be filled with newness.” That is a sensational compliment! I wish all of us could have such an influence in our lives: a prod that helps arouse endless novelty. Here’s the good news, Taurus: I suspect you may soon be blessed with a lively source of such stimulation, at least temporarily. Are you ready and

eager to welcome an influx of freshness?

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20

Humans have been drinking beer for at least 13,000 years and eating bread for 14,500. We’ve enjoyed cheese for 7,500 years and popcorn for 6,500. Chances are good that at least some of these four are comfort foods for you. In the coming weeks, I suggest you get an ample share of them or any other delicious nourishments that make you feel well-grounded and deep-rooted. You need to give extra care to stabilizing your foundations. You have a mandate to cultivate security, stability, and constancy. Here’s your homework: Identify three things you can do to make you feel utterly at home in the world.

CANCER: June 21 – July 22

On Instagram, I posted a favorite quote from poet Muriel Rukeyser: “The world is made of stories, not atoms.” I added my own thought: “You are made of stories, too.” A reader didn’t like this meme. He said it was “a nightmare for us anti-social people.” I asked him why. He said, “Because stories only happen in a social setting. To tell or hear a story is to be in a social interaction. If you’re not inclined towards such activities, it’s oppressive.” Here’s how I replied: “That’s not true for me. Many of my stories happen while I’m alone with my inner world. My nightly dreams are some of my favorite stories.” Anyway, Cancerian, I’m offering this exchange to you now because you are in a story-rich phase of your life. The tales coming your way, whether they occur in social settings or in the privacy of your own fantasies, will be extra interesting, educational, and motivational. Gather them in with gusto! Celebrate them!

LEO: July 23 – August 22

Author A. Conan Doyle said, “It has long been my axiom that the little things are infinitely the most important.” Spiritual teacher John Zabat-Zinn muses, “The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.” Here’s author Robert Brault’s advice: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Ancient Chinese sage Lao-Tzu provides a further nuance: “To know you have enough is to be rich.” Let’s add one more clue, from author Alice Walker: “I try to teach my heart to want nothing it can’t have.”

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22

“I don’t believe that in order to be interesting or meaningful, a relationship has to work out — in fiction or in real life.” So says Virgo novelist Elizabeth Curtis Sittenfeld, and I agree.

JAMES NOELLERT

Just because a romantic bond didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it was a waste of energy. An intimate connection you once enjoyed but then broke off might have taught you lessons that are crucial to your destiny. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to acknowledge and celebrate these past experiences of togetherness. Interpret them not as failures but as gifts.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

The amount of rubbish produced by the modern world is staggering: over 2 billion tons per year. To get a sense of how much that is, imagine a convoy of fully loaded garbage trucks circling the earth 24 times. You and I can diminish our contributions to this mess, though we must overcome the temptation to think our personal efforts will be futile. Can we really help save the world by buying secondhand goods, shopping at farmer’s markets, and curbing our use of paper? Maybe a little. And here’s the bonus: We enhance our mental health by reducing the waste we engender. Doing so gives us a more graceful and congenial relationship with life. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to meditate and act on this beautiful truth.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21:

I hope that in the coming weeks, you will wash more dishes, do more laundry, and scrub more floors than you ever have before. Clean the bathrooms with extra fervor, too. Scour the oven and refrigerator. Make your bed with extreme precision. Got all that, Scorpio? JUST KIDDING! Everything I just said was a lie. Now here’s my authentic message: Avoid grunt work. Be as loose and playful and spontaneous as you have ever been. Seek recordbreaking levels of fun and amusement. Experiment with the high arts of brilliant joy and profound pleasure.

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Dear Sagittarius the Archer: To be successful in the coming weeks, you don’t have to hit the exact center of the bullseye every time — or even anytime. Merely shooting your arrows so they land somewhere inside the fourth or

By Rob Brezsny

third concentric rings will be a very positive development. Same is true if you are engaged in a situation with metaphorical resemblances to a game of horseshoes. Even if you don’t throw any ringers at all, just getting close could be enough to win the match. This is one time in your life when perfection isn’t necessary to win.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

I suspect you are about to escape the stuffy labyrinth. There may be a short adjustment period, but soon you will be running half-wild in a liberated zone where you won’t have to dilute and censor yourself. I am not implying that your exile in the enclosed space was purely oppressive. Not at all. You learned some cool magic in there, and it will serve you well in your expansive new setting. Here’s your homework assignment: Identify three ways you will take advantage of your additional freedom.

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Though my mother is a practical, sensible person with few mystical propensities, she sometimes talks about a supernatural vision she had. Her mother, my grandmother, had been disabled by a massive stroke. It left her barely able to do more than laugh and move her left arm. But months later, on the morning after grandma died, her spirit showed up in a pink ballerina dress doing ecstatic pirouettes next to my mother’s bed. My mom saw it as a communication about how joyful she was to be free of her wounded body. I mention this gift of grace because I suspect you will have at least one comparable experience in the coming weeks. Be alert for messages from your departed ancestors.

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20

“Those who know the truth are not equal to those who love it,” said the ancient Chinese sage Confucius. Amen! Seeking to understand reality with cold, unfeeling rationality is at best boring and at worst destructive. I go so far as to say that it’s impossible to deeply comprehend anything or anyone unless we love them. Really! I’m not exaggerating or being poetical. In my philosophy, our quest to be awake and see truly requires us to summon an abundance of affectionate attention. I nominate you to be the champion practitioner of this approach to intelligence, Pisces. It’s your birthright! And I hope you turn it up full blast in the coming weeks.

Homework: Cross two relatively trivial wishes off your list so you can focus more on major wishes.

The Donald should join a motorcycle club, a RICO trial will give him mad props!! However, I can’t picture Melania cleaning his ‘Huge’ sled.

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