14 minute read
This Little Underground
OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK
Most of us know that E=mc 2 , thanks to Albert Einstein, but not everyone knows that the wild-haired genius was a socialist, radical egalitarian and an outspoken advocate for civil rights. Though not immune to the political environment and social biases of his time, Einstein was active in the fight against white American racism, calling it a “disease” and befriending many champions of tolerance and desegregation. In 1937, the famed Black opera singer Marian Anderson was touring and set to perform at Princeton University in New Jersey. Though acclaimed and respected, the singer was denied lodging due to segregation. Einstein welcomed Anderson into his home that day and many times after, whenever she visited the area. From this ensued an unlikely friendship between the two American icons, who held many powerful and stimulating conversations over tea. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on their wall and listen while they talked? My Lord, What a Night, is a play about the true story of this relationship and the lively conversations that resulted from it, exploring topics of racial, religious and gender-based struggles. The show promises an engaging, immersive audience experience. –Lillian Hernández Caraballo
7:30 p.m. | through April 26 | Orlando Shakes, 812 E. Rollins St. | 407-447- 1700 | orlandoshakes.org | $20-$62
POSTPONED Biz Markie
MUSIC As walking hip-hop history, Biz Markie is the perfect pop tour guide to walk us through musical eras at his “Decades Collide: ’80s vs. ’90s” show. Biz has DJ credits that reach back to the mid- ’80s and, of course, there’s his canonical 1989 hit, “Just a Friend,” featuring comically raspy hype-DJ delivery that, surprisingly, yields to a melodic vulnerability that propelled the jam that’s propelled all manner of dancefloor moves for decades. The number of gatherings that Biz Markie’s DJing and music has elevated from yea, we just chillin’ to it’s time to hit the dancefloor and jam and jam is seemingly infinite. And the range of said parties, from junior high dances to high school reunions to barbecues to the club, is as wide and deep as Markie’s relatable appeal. I mean, we’ve all been there, been told we’re just a friend. You just gotta pick yourself up, cue up a silly-sweet tune and dance it away. There are few wax-scratching hands in the history of popular music as trustworthy to carry this out as the legendary Biz Markie. – Solomon Gustavo
with DJ Ish, DJ Mellowblendz | 7 p.m. | House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista | 407-934-2583 | houseofblues.com | $14-$70 Deantoni Parks’
Friday, March 20 Deantoni Parks’ Technoself
MUSIC Terribly Wrong – the audiovisual series curated by Orlando DJ Nigel John under his sinister alter ego, Kurt Rambus – is one of the city’s most intelligent and cutting-edge electronic dance music nights right now. While the candycolored overdrive of the EDM mainstream stampedes above, Terribly Wrong pumps with the original pulse of the true underground and pushes it out to the edge of the new dark now. And though each deep-dive edition has been worthwhile, this fourth edition will be an extra special engagement with major headliner Deantoni Parks. The NYC drummer brings heavy cred with membership in bands like the Mars Volta, KUDU and Bosnian Rainbows, as well as recording credits with titans like John Cale, Omar Rodríguez-López, Flying Lotus and Meshell Ndegeocello. At Terribly Wrong, Parks will give one of his amazing solo Technoself performances, a stunning electro-percussive spectacle that involves live drumming and triggered samples. This night will break paradigms. – Bao Le-Huu
with DJs Kurt Rambus and Professor Goat | 9 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | $15-$17
EVENTS The 61st annual Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival is back this month to fulfill its mission of enhancing art appreciation, art education and community spirit. Browse through a mélange of art mediums including clay, digital and print, jewelry, sculpture, painting and drawing, wood and more. Children can try their hand at art in free painting workshops, while a variety of live music acts will delight festival attendees breezing through beautifully landscaped Central Park. Awaken your senses on this first weekend of Spring! Hand washing and sanitizing stations will be accessible throughout the park. – Tess Bonacci
11:15 a.m. | Central Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park | 407-644-7207 | wpsaf.org | free
FILM The LGBTQ-centered, genuinely inclusive animated show Steven Universe is coming to an end. During its run, the program cultivated a passionate cult following of viewers yearning to see more intimate and complicated experiences of queerness and otherness depicted in both an emotional and thoughtful way. Its final season is airing on Cartoon Network now, wrapping up a series rich in fantastical animated allegory on the many aspects of being culturally boxed out – one that often brought fans tears both of joy and sadness. The end of this story, which includes 2019’s Steven Universe: The Movie, also concludes the show’s amazing run of songs. As a way to bid farewell to the characters of beloved creator Rebecca Sugar, there will be a number of sing-along events in area theaters where fans can join together and sing a boisterous group goodbye. – Solomon Gustavo
7 p.m. | various locations | 855-473-4612 | fathomevents.com | prices vary
POSTPONED Tommy Stinson
MUSIC Would you have pegged a young Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash-era (or a latter-day GNR bassman) Tommy Stinson as a rambling troubadour in ripe middle age, eschewing the rock-club stages and bright lights for makeshift house stages, record shops and unassuming dive bars? To us it makes perfect sense. Stinson always seemed a music lifer, even from his start as a teenage hellion in the Replacements. What else is he gonna do with himself? (And we say that with admiration.) So this week Stinson makes another welcome return to the City Beautiful, which he’s graced recently solo and with a rejuvenated version of his Bash & Pop ensemble. The dimly lit and cozy confines of the Imperial should be a perfect setting to hear some hard-won and very tuneful musical wisdom. Use your best judgment about attending. – Matthew Moyer
with Dashdown | 7 p.m. | The Imperial at Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave. | 407-228-4992 | imperialwinebar.com | $25-$100
PHOTO BY JEN CRAY
POSTPONED Hot Chelle Rae
MUSIC After a five-year break, the fun and upbeat trio Hot Chelle Rae are back on the airwaves and on stages, and this time they are popping with even more color. The band brings their “Tangerine Tour” to Orlando this week, and lead singer Ryan Follesé is ready to go with bright pink-tangerine hair and socks to match. The Tennessee pop-rock band released a new single in November called “I Hate L.A.,” which honors the band’s signature style of rebellious yet comedic lyrics paired with catchy, carefree hooks, giving off an “everything’s good” vibe sure to please their hard-core fans. With special guests Katelyn Tarver and Brothers Page, the show promises a fun night out, and you may very well be whistling these songs for days after. – Lillian Hernández Caraballo
with Katelyn Tarver and Brothers Page | 7 p.m. | The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive | | abbeyorlando.com | $26.50-$30
DEAR READERS: I live in Seattle, the U.S. epicenter of the novel coronavirus epidemic, with my family. A lot of my readers wrote this week to wish us well. We are fine – scared, but fine – washing our hands compulsively and staying close to home. I’m going to keep churning out the column and recording my podcast, while being careful to maintain a safe social distance from the tech-savvy, at-risk youth. I’m hoping the column and podcast are welcome distractions. Please take care of yourselves, take care of the people around you and wash your damn hands.
I’m wondering if you know of a word that describes the fetish of getting off from talking dirty. I’ve searched a lot, and I can’t find a label for this kink or fetish. While googling around, I did learn some new terms, like “katoptronophilia” (being aroused by having sex in front of mirrors) and “pubephilia” (being aroused by pubic hair), but I can’t seem to find one that describes my kink.
Dirty Talker
I’m old enough to remember when people who needed to feel a strong emotional connection before they wanted to fuck someone got by without a word or a pride flag of their very own. They just said, “I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emotional connection before wanting to fuck someone.” But now they can say, “I’m a demisexual,” a five-syllable, vaguely scientific-sounding term that first popped up in an online forum in 2006. Unfortunately, when someone says, “I’m a demisexual,” the usual response is, “What’s that?” And then the demisexual has to say, “I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emotional connection before wanting to fuck someone.” So leading with “I’m a demisexual” seems like a waste of time to me. But it does extend the amount of time the speaker gets to talk about him/her/ themselves … and who doesn’t love talking about themselves?
Anyway, DT, you’re someone who enjoys dirty talk. There isn’t a special term (or pride flag) for you that I could find – I did a little half-hearted googling myself – and I don’t think you need one. You can get by with “I’m someone who enjoys dirty talk.”
My wife and I have been married for a little over two years. We both have demanding jobs, but she admits to being a workaholic and spends almost every night on the couch answering e-mails and binge-watching Bravo. I’ve resorted to getting high most nights to cover up for the fact that I’m very unhappy. Despite being overworked, she’s started a side hustle selling skincare products to her friends, most of whom she rarely sees in person. Bottom line: I didn’t sign up for this. I’m beyond bored and want to travel and explore. But she refuses to give up the side hustle and dial back her work or her drinking. We both earn comfortable salaries and we don’t need the extra income. Would I be justified in leaving because of her newfound hobby?
Basically Over Redundant Enrichment
Side hustle or no, BORE, you aren’t happy, and that’s reason enough to leave. And while you won’t (or shouldn’t) be doing much traveling anytime soon, you can find a lawyer, search for a new apartment and initiate divorce proceedings while your wife sits on the couch answering work e-mails and pushing skincare products to her friends. I would typically encourage someone in your shoes to risk telling the truth before walking out – you’re unhappy, you’re bored, you don’t want to live like this anymore – but it sounds like your mind is made up. So use your time at home over the next couple of weeks to make your escape plan.
I’m a young white woman, and my last boyfriend, a black man, left me two weeks ago. Ever since, I have been masturbating only while thinking about black guys. My question is: Do I have a “thing” for black guys now? I’ve accepted that our relationship is over, but it was really intense. I feel disgusting after I masturbate, because it feels gross and not respectful toward my ex somehow. What do you think?
Desperately Horny For Black Men
Masturbate about whatever the fuck turns you on, DHFBM, and if you’re worried someone would find your masturbatory fantasies disrespectful … don’t tell that person about your masturbatory fantasies. I suppose it’s possible you have a “thing” for black guys now. (What’s that thing they say? Actually, let’s not say it.) Unless you are treating black guys as objects and not people, or you fetishize blackness in a way that makes black sex partners feel degraded (in unsexy, nonconsensual ways) or used (in ways they don’t wish to be used), don’t waste your time worrying about your fantasies. Worry about your actions.
I’m a 35-year-old woman in a long-term cohabitating relationship with a man. We opened our relationship about six months ago, and it’s going very well and we both have FWBs. My primary partner and I are going to be getting engaged soon, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is to my FWB of five months. Do I make a special effort to tell him about the engagement – on the phone or in person, like I plan to tell family members and close friends? Or is it OK if he finds out via social media like other people I’ve known for only five months
36 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● MARCH 18-24, 2020 ● orlandoweekly.com or less would? My getting engaged (or married) won’t prevent me from remaining his FWB.
Wanna Be Ethical
Golden rule this shit, WBE: If your FWB got engaged, would you want to find out via social media or would you want him to tell you personally? I’m guessing you’d rather hear it from him. You’ve known your FWB for only five months, it’s true, and other fivemonths-or-less friends don’t rate hearing it from you personally. But you aren’t fucking your other five-months-or-less friends. A little more consideration for your friend’s feelings is – or should be – one of the benefits.
I used to live in a college town. While there, I hooked up with a gorgeous guy. He had an amazing smile, a nice body and the most perfect natural dick I’ve ever seen. (Can we please stop saying “uncut”? It’s so disgustingly plastic surgery-ish.) We hooked up a couple times, and he was so much fun. A couple of years later, in another town, he showed up out of the blue at my new job. It was awkward at first, but it got better over the couple of years we worked together. I always wanted to just sneak him into the bathroom and give him another blowjob. He still lives in the same town, and I want to message him to see if he’s up for some more fun. We haven’t spoken in years – and last I heard, he was still not out. I want to message him, but I’m wondering whether there’s a time limit to reconnecting with someone? Fuck, man, he was so hot, and his natural, big, veiny dick was maybe the most perfect cock I’ve ever seen.
Big Ol’ Dick
Seeing as you haven’t spoken to this man in years, BOD, I’m going to assume you no longer work together. And seeing as you hooked up more than once back in that college town, I’m going to assume he liked your blowjobs. And seeing as there’s a worldwide pandemic on, and seeing as life is short, and seeing as dick is delicious, I’m going to give you the OK to send this guy a message. Social media has made it possible for people to reach out to first loves, exes and old hookups. And so long as the reacher-outer is respectful, has reason to believe their message won’t tear open old wounds and instantly takes “no” for an answer (and no response = no), there’s nothing wrong with reaching out. And while social-distancing protocols will prevent you from sucking that gorgeous natural dick anytime soon, BOD, who doesn’t need something to look forward to right now?
On the “Lovecast,” love drugs! How therapeutic are they? Listen at savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net
Meet Barney (A442313)! This sweet boy is 3 years old and is our longest-term resident – he has been at the shelter for over 130 days, and he’s hoping his forever family is out there looking for him. Barney gets along with other dogs and engages in gentle and dainty play, and he often participates in the shelter’s play group activities. He is known as our “helper dog.”
Barney is heartworm-positive. Thanks to Webb Engineering, his heartworm treatment is sponsored, meaning much of the cost of it will be covered. Barney is neutered, microchipped, vaccinated and ready to go home the same day he is adopted!
For the month of March we are celebrating Lucky Paws and adoption fees are $20 for cats and $20 for dogs. Adoption fees cover sterilization, vaccinations and a microchip.
Orange County Animal Services is located at 2769 Conroy Road in Orlando, near the Mall at Millenia. The shelter is open 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday through Saturday and 1-5 p.m. Sunday. For more information, please call 407-836- 3111 or visit ocnetpets.com.
