28 minute read
Feature
Peer into our crystal ball to discover what the future holds for our region...
As dawn breaks on a new year, we all hope that things will be better, or even better if your year didn’t suck ass, this time around the sun. But if you re the impatient type, and you don t want to wait to find out what s going to happen, rise or ruin, rest assured that we have a solution for you: this article.
We’ve put together the RFT brain trust and thought hard about what’s going to happen this year. Read on to discover our predictions if you dare.
—Jessica Rogen
Bored Legal Weed Activists Will Find a New Cause
Now victorious in their decades-long quest to legalize marijuana, free-the-herb activists will learn that what they’ve sown isn’t bearing what they’d hoped to reap as the legal weed market becomes a playground for investment bankers and venture capitalists rather than drug-rug-sporting hippies. Disillusioned, they’ll switch allegiances and throw their support behind a different combustible: cigarettes. The much-maligned socalled cancer sticks will see a resurgence in the Show-Me State as people remember how fucking cool they make you look and how they provide a free 10-minute break from any scheduled duty that is inaccessible to the non-smokers of the world. Marlboro will see a resurgence in the local market and will resume its Marlboro Miles program here, and Marlboro-branded inflatable canoes will fill the state s rivers come float-trip season. A grassroots effort to criminalize non-smoking bars and restaurants will gain the public’s support after Jon Hamm returns to the state of his birth as a spokesman (smokesman?) for the movement in full Don Draper regalia. The motion will pass, and the activists will get bored again, ultimately turning their attention to legalizing cocaine. —Daniel Hill
Missouri Will Overturn Abortion Ban
Ah, Missouri. Already home to some of the worst maternal mortality rates in the country, the state was also the first in the union to revoke a woman’s right to choose when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in the Dobbs decision. So now, women are really fucked (and not in baby-making way, conservatives).
Leaving aside that being able to opt out of an
Cigarettes will have their day in the sun, yet again. | VIA FLICKR / NINCIC
accidental pregnancy is really actually beneficial to society you want that baby born addicted to fentanyl and crack? You want that molested 1 -year-old child to be a mom And take the baby back into a family that abused a child Really there s still good reason to keep make abortion legal, as we’ve learned. It’s actually really hard for doctors to determine if it’s legal to help a woman expel fetal tissue if a pregnancy has naturally ended.
Last year, Missouri’s Mylissa Farmer spoke out about not being able to get treatment when her water broke at 18 weeks, effectively ending the fetus’ viability. Farmer said in a campaign ad for Trudy Busch Valentine that the doctor cited the state’s abortion ban as the reason.
“My Missouri doctors weren’t allowed to give me the care I needed, all because of the mandate Eric Schmitt put into place,” Farmer said in the ad. “Eric Schmitt doesn’t care about women like me.” Stories like this proliferated across the country, of women carrying dead babies because doctors refused to help them at all or refused to help them till the mother’s health was in danger, so they could make sure they were well within the law, which usually makes exceptions for medical emergencies.
People could recognize that this was no good. Across the country, and most especially in our neighbor state Kansas, people were upholding abortion rights and striking down abortion bans left and right. But in Missouri, Eric Schmitt, the same dumbass who banned abortion in the first place, went from being our attorney general to being elected our
Grandpa’s not too good with the internet. | VIA FLICKR / GOVENOR’S OFFICE e Loop Trolley will continue to be a non-fun money drain. | DANIEL HILL
BOLD PREDICTIONS
Continued from pg 15
senator so he could take his terrible ideas to D.C. to torture the nation.
Given that this is Missouri and no one seems to hold it against Schmitt and Ann Wagner or any of the other Republicans that their terrible ideas are killing moms, it might seem foolhardy to suggest that Missouri is going to overturn this abortion ban.
But overturn it we shall … if it is a standalone constitutional amendment or proposition. We won’t overturn it by electing different legislators. Analysis as to why people stick with the Republican Party but then vote for things that Republicans don’t like (see legalizing marijuana or, in Kansas, keeping the right to choose in the constitution) is beyond my purview. But if activists put abortion on the ballot, even in Missouri, and say, “You want to be able to do this again?” Enough smart women (and men) of voting age will line up (I’m talking take the day off to line up) and vote hell yes on that thing. They may also turn around and vote for the embarrassment that is Josh Hawley but one step at a time, folks. —Rosalind Early
St. Louis Will Ride the NA Brew Wave
The nonalcoholic beer market is on a tear, with nonalcoholic brew sales having increased by 90 percent in the past decade and growth that looks like it will outpace traditional beer sales in years to come. St. Louis is in a prime position to capitalize on the trend. St. Louis seems to have already embraced the NA brew trend, unlike other cities where a lot of bars and restaurants, even upscale ones, respond with befuddlement when asked if they serve an NA brew. I can’t remember the last time I was at a bar here in town — even the grodiest of the grody — that didn’t have at least a Busch NA. Usually places in town not only have an NA on offer but something that will surprise you friends with its quality if you convince them to order one.
St. Louis event promoter and entrepreneur Josh “Loyal” Grigaitis has consulted on NA product launches throughout the country, and Well eing brews, the country s first craft NA brewery, is based in the metro area.
This city has always punched way above its weight in the beer game. As more and more of those beers are of the NA persuasion, St. Louis is well positioned to ride that 0.5-percent-or-less wave. —Ryan Krull
Mike Parson Will Go After Google
A befuddled Mike Parson, eager to hop aboard the right-wing anti-Big Tech train but very confused by the internet, will accuse Google of hacking after the site autocompletes a phrase in his search bar in a way he doesn’t like. At a press conference, Parson will declare that the state is committed to “standing up against any and all perpetrators who attempt to steal personal information and harm Missourians” and will further add that “there is no way Google could have added the word ‘idiot’ to my search for ‘Missouri governor’ without hacking into the mainframe of my computer.” Journalists at the event will try to explain that it’s just a basic function of the site; Parson will respond by having them all arrested. —Daniel Hill
Missouri Makes a Record Investment in Education With Its Giant Budget Surplus
In November, Missourians found out a really surprising fact about our state: We are really rich. That’s right, the state treasury has a surplus of more than $6 billion, thanks to all those COVID-19 government relief funds and revenue growth, reported the Missouri Independent. The outlet predicted that this year’s surplus could grow to almost $15 billion. Wow, who could have ever imagined that?
The question of what to do with all that moolah is out there. So I put myself in Governor Parson’s shoes and thought about what he’s most likely going to do with all this cash. I thought about what he could use it for that would really move the needle in the state for years to come and cement his legacy as governor. The answer is education.
Parson and lawmakers across the political aisle will come together and make a record investment, pouring the greater percentage of that ridiculous surplus into public K-12 education and a somewhat smaller portion into funding higher education, both community colleges and the public universities. To top things off, things will be distributed based on need so the most cash-poor schools in both rural and urban areas get the most dough — but every school district, no matter the socioeconomic status of its students, will benefit.
Within half a school year, Missouri residents will see dramatic effects from that influ . Among the first things that happens is that school districts raise the pay for teachers and for administrators and go on a hiring spree, finally able to attract good talent thanks to that decent pay. Schools can even up their staffing, leading to smaller classroom sizes and all the students getting more attention. Also, districts that had dropped down to a four-day week can go back to five days. arents everywhere rejoice. Childcare!
Schools are able to buy supplies for classrooms, and teachers stop begging the public to fulfill their wish lists. Classes get this year s textbook. School libraries, freed from funding worries, stop removing books from their shelves.
Then, within a few years, a not-so-mysterious thing happens. Teachers in upper grades stop getting students who can barely read. So instead of focusing on remedial instruction, everyone learns more and better.
More students then go on to college. The average educational attainment in Missouri
Eric Schmitt has been embarrassing Missouri for years. He’s not going to stop now. | RYAN KRULL
rises. Big tech companies decide to invest in having branches here. The overall salary rate rises and the cost of living does, too, but we can afford it. We’re all doing OK. —Jessica Rogen
Loop Trolley Will Try To Get Some of at Kroenke Cash
Jealous of the groups that received NFL settlement money, the perennially cash-strapped transportation boondoggle that calls itself the Loop Trolley will extend the bottomless black hole it calls its coffers forward Oliver Twist style in the hopes of securing some more funding. Leadership throughout the region will concede that the trolley is pointless and unpopular but will insist that we need to give it a couple hundred million dollars or else the federal government will never talk to us again. he trolley line will add five new cars but will only operate from 1:30 to 2:45 p.m. every third Wednesday. Meanwhile, a sinkhole will open up on a neglected stretch of Jefferson and eat a MetroBus, causing widespread shrugging at City Hall. —Daniel Hill
Albert Pujols Returns for One More Year
Most professional athletes final years feel like a slog. Some may even call them ugly. Especially for legends. Their bodies just don’t move like they used to. Their shoulders are blown out, their refle es slowed, their bodies sore. Passes are short, hitters are slow, shots are bricked. That’s the way old age in legends normally goes.
When Albert Pujols announced he would return to St. Louis for his 22nd season, one final season, one final victory tour, this is what most people expected. After years of struggling with the Angels, his return seemed more like a glorified retirement, a final goodbye, a chance to pay homage to the city that raised him.
But instead, he ended up doing the opposite. He turned into 22-year-old Pujols, and he gave us one of the most exciting baseball seasons in recent memory. Now, he’s retired, and we don’t know what to do. Let’s just be honest –– we miss him. Already. We miss watching him come up to bat, our eyes pinned to the TV, just waiting for something magical to happen. We want to see him chase more homerun records.
And Albert must miss that, too, right? I mean, he has to. He has to be thinking he has another year left in the tank. That he could take a shot at hitting 12 more home runs and passing Babe Ruth on the all-time list. That he could, along with Nolan Arenado and Paul Goldschmidt, bring a title back to St. Louis. He could bask in the glory of another year in front of the Cardinals faithful. He could rewrite the narrative for older athletes. I mean, he has to be thinking this, right?
I mean, Tom Brady did it. He retired. People wrote love letters and talked about how much he meant to the game. They honored him as if he was gone forever. Fox gave him a $375 million, 10-year contract to become a commentator. Then, two months later, in the middle of a March workday, he went on social media and said throw away those goodbye notes –– Brady is returning.
No one saw Brady coming back after he retired. But no one saw Pujols coming back to the Cardinals either. No one saw him hitting 24 home runs, his most since 2016. No one saw him reaching 700 home runs. So why can’t Pujols do something else no one sees coming? Return for one more year. —Benjamin Simon
Eric Schmitt Will Embarrass Us, Possibly Himself
Our newest senator, former Attorney General Eric Schmitt, is a ticking time bomb. We can already picture now some of the stupid shenanigans that Schmitt will get up to because we’ve had a taste of it with Senator
Continued on pg 18
Dispatch from the Future!
City Provides Complementary Bubble Wrap to Cyclists and Pedestrians
Written by MONICA OBRADOVIC
St. Louis city officials have opted for a novel approach to combating the seemingly rising trend of pedestrian and cyclist deaths in the city. At some of the city’s most notoriously dangerous intersections, city officials erected stations for residents to unspool and wrap large sheets of bubble wrap around themselves as a traffic safety measure.
On a recent afternoon, Tower Grove South resident Terri Maddox was seen wrapping her eight-year-old son in multiple layers of the bubble wrap at the intersection of Grand and Arsenal. “With the way drivers are these days, we like to take any precaution we can,” she said while wrapping her son, Ted, in his sixth layer of bubble wrap. The boy, struggling to breathe through the many protective layers, simply swayed his body back and forth when asked if he felt the bubble wrap was an effective safety measure.
So far, the city’s bubble-wrap scheme has saved one life. But if you ask Roger Hanley, who otherwise could have suffered more serious injuries had it not been for the bubble wrap, “saved” is a stretch. Interviewed at Barnes-Jewish Hospital, Hanley, 68, recalled last week’s accident.
“T’was a beautiful night,” he said. Hanley’s wife had wrapped him in several layers of bubble wrap, affixed by complimentary CityWide Duct Tape (4 Hands Brewing Co. ™), before they attempted to traverse the busy Saturday night traffic on South Kingshighway Boulevard. But the protective layers around Hanley’s head turned the man’s vision into one big blind spot. As Hanley’s wife proceeded to wrap herself in bubble wrap, Hanley had unknowingly wandered onto Kingshighway and into the path of a northbound SUV.
Onlookers heard what could only be described as the buoyed thump of a bouncy ball as the SUV’s impact against Hanley’s cushioned body propelled him in the air, and he landed supine on the cold ground.
Hanley remained there for a half hour as 911 calls remained unanswered for several minutes.
Days later, at the hospital, Hanley relayed what he calls the most humiliating night of his life. His spine was broken in two places, his head severely concussed. Is he thankful for the bubble wrap?
“I would’ve preferred a crosswalk,” he said. n
We see the Battlehawks being in it for the long haul. Well, at least a year. | TRENTON ALMGREN DAVIS
BOLD PREDICTIONS
Continued from pg 17
Josh Hawley.
Based on past experience, Schmitt will likely endorse antisemites like he did when he said Kanye West and Kid Rock should go on a tour together after Kanye West started praising Nazis and Hitler. He will fawn uncritically over Donald Trump like he did when he accepted Trump’s “endorsement” when the former president endorsed “Eric” for the U.S. Senate race ahead of the Republican primaries in August. The only issue was that two Erics were running, Eric Schmitt and Eric Greitens. Both happily accepted Trump’s ambiguous endorsement. Cringe.
But mostly he’s going to be a problem ’cause he’s full of bad ideas that are clearly just publicity stunts. He spent a lot of Missouri taxpayer money filing frivolous lawsuits like the time he tried to sue China for COVID-19. He also sued a lot of our schools for making kids wear masks but didn’t do anything to try to close Agape Boarding School despite dozens of credible abuse allegations.
So what bad ideas will he bring to congress? Tons. Maybe he’ll make it illegal for anyone to wear a mask, even the doctor operating on you. Maybe he’ll tell you he’s guaranteeing your freedoms by taking away birth control but making it so each man, woman and child gets a gun in the mail every year. (Been accused of domestic assault ou get two uck a red-flag law, amirite ) We re not entirely sure, but these ideas are going to be some doozies that will cause the rest of the country to ask, “Who is this guy? Missouri, are you, OK?” No. No, we’re not. —Rosalind Early
St. Louis City Sewer System Collapses
Who else remembers all that rain last summer that led to all that flash flooding, which killed several residents and displaced many more from their homes? Right, well if you do, you’ll be relieved to hear that in November the city’s Metropolitan Sewer District received funds from the Missouri Department of Natural Resources to update infrastructure and prevent similar occurrences.
Sadly, it won’t be nearly enough. In 2023, deluges will come due to general worsening weather patterns. Since St. Louis is mostly pavement, and the sewer system is really freaking old, putting in some rain gardens isn’t going to be nearly enough.
This time though, things won’t just overflow: hey will collapse.
Clay pipes will crumble, water will spurt up from grates, and the city will be thrown into chaos — yet again. —Jessica Rogen
Kia Boyz Supplanted by Female Rivals, HyunDamez
St. Louis is more than fed up with the Kia Boyz running amok, taking our cars out for joyriding and to commit other crimes before crashing them into a light pole or the front window of a weed dispensary.
But the Kia Boyz’s days are numbered. The future is female. We’re not naive enough to think that youths in the city will stop stealing cars, but we do predict that the wild lack of gender parity among juvenile car thieves is untenable. How much longer can we expect girls to watch their male peers get to have all the fun, getting to use the thousands of Hyundais and Kias in the city like a free ride-share service?
Our prediction is that in 2023 the HyunDamez will catch up to and then usurp the Kia Boyz in grand-theft-auto prowess. This will, of course, set off a crisis of identity among the Kia Boyz, who will question their role in the TikTok-trend-based criminal subculture. They’ll console each other on internet message boards and long openly for the days when an honest, hard-working Kia Boy could
Dispatch from the Future!
St. Louis City and County Decide Not Only to Merge but to Secede from Missouri While They’re at It
Written by MONICA OBRADOVIC
It finally happened. After much conflict and deliberation, St. Louis and St. Louis County have finally agreed to merge altogether. The decision marks an historic reunification since the city and county’s fraught Great Divorce in 1875. And government leaders are thrilled. Outside a Waffle House this afternoon, former County Executive Sam Page (now St. Louis czar) could hardly contain his excitement.
“Just stop asking me about it,” he said as he rushed hurriedly away from reporters and into a county vehicle, to-go container of chicken and waffles in hand.
In a statement this afternoon, St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones said the decision marked an historic milestone. “After much studying and consideration,” she said — and didn’t elaborate further. A spokesperson later explained in a text to RFT that the mayor’s office is studying the effects of said merger, set to go into effect in one week.
In addition to merging together, city and council leaders also decided to secede from Missouri while they’re at it. “It’s about fucking time,” Governor Mike Parson said in a statement. “I don’t know how much clearer we could’ve been — the libs in our state’s most populous and prosperous cities are just not welcome on our sinking ship.” n
sneak out of the house at 10 p.m., steal a Santa e to use in an armed robbery and then flee a police helicopter in a Sorento, without being called “toxic” or “a danger to society.” y the end of the year, a significant percentage of the Kia Boyz will have dropped out of the car-theft labor market entirely. A new lost generation, they’ll hole up in their mother’s basement, watching hours and hours of pornography on their phones; the only crimes they’ll manage to commit will be war crimes on Call of Duty. They will become a new constituency for Josh Hawley, who will write a book about their plight. —Ryan Krull
Battlehawks Last the Entire Year
St. Louis is used to getting football stolen from the city. We had the Rams, the Super Bowlwinning Rams. Then the man who we will not speak of took them to Los Angeles. We had the Battlehawks, who were 3-2, very St. Louis, and leading the league in attendance. Then COVID-19 took that.
But now, football is back. And we have a really bold prediction: The Battlehawks will finish one season. es, we know. his is a bold one. One whole year.
But we’re feeling good about this year. We really are. We know what happened last time. We know how many minor leagues like this have failed. he attlehawks flew in and gave us hope. We packed the stadium, and they flew away. Then COVID-19 canceled the league, and it ended in shambles, filing for bankruptcy. The league seemed doomed to die, and football would never return to St. Louis.
This time feels different, though. For starters, the XFL is run by The Rock. Enough said. econdly, it signed a five-year contract with ESPN and Walt Disney. Thirdly, the Battlehawks might have the best quarterback in the league with former Alabama star A.J. McCarron. Fourthly, it’s time for some good karma to hit St. Louis football. Fifthly, this is St. Louis. It doesn’t matter how bad the team is or what league they’re playing in or really anything. If there’s a team in St. Louis, St. Louis is going to show up, Budweiser in hand, screaming about the ’Hawks. —Benjamin Simon
Antisemitism Will Rise in the US
Antisemitism in America has steadily been on the rise. According to the Anti-Defamation League, more threats of harassment, vandalism and violence against Jewish people were reported in 2021 than any other year on record. f the final weeks of 2 22 have shown us anything, it’s that this trend will only continue if measures aren’t taken to halt it. In the two weeks following Elon Musk s official acquisition of Twitter in late October, the platform saw a 61 percent rise in antisemitic tweets, a study by the Anti-Defamation League revealed. The rise in hate speech toward Jewish people and other marginalized groups comes after Musk lifted bans on accounts previously barred for hate speech and laid off many of the individuals responsible for monitoring hate speech on the platform. That’s not all. In a recent interview with Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, Kanye West proclaimed that he sees “good things about Hitler also” and made derogatory comments about Jewish people. West sat alongside Nick Fuentes, a white-supremacist political commentator and Holocaust denier. As 2022 draws to a close, the prominent right-wing personalities have demonstrated little inclination to distance themselves from the white-supremacist rhetoric that engenders not only hate speech but violence toward Jews and other communities as a direct result. As it stands, antisemitism’s continued rise in 2023 seems like less of a prediction and more of an inevitability. —Kasey Noss
With a limitless ego and a basic misunderstanding of firearms, what can’t Mark McCloskey achieve? | REUBEN HEMMER
Mark McCloskey Will Ride Again
In an attempt to rekindle the spark and recapture some of the magic of the summer of 2020, Mark McCloskey will stand in his front yard and open fire on the side of his neighbor’s house with an AK-47. Right-wing talking heads will declare him a hero and say that the neighboring home shouldn’t have come so close to McCloskey’s property; McCloskey will subsequently claim that, actually, all of his neighbors’ houses are, in fact, also his property. A judge will demand that McCloskey hand the gun over; McCloskey will trip over himself to do so. —Daniel Hill
St. Louis City Will Find New, Innovative Ways To Avoid Transparency
The city’s refusal to release records to journalists and other members of the public has been a slow-burning story this whole year and a major disappointment to civic boosters who expect this behavior from politicos at the state level but are disheartened to see it here in St. Louis.
Unfortunately, we predict this problem is going to get a lot worse — and weirder — before it gets better.
Thus far, the city has claimed that records that do exist don’t and that members of the public who submit very narrow, specific requests are actually being hopelessly vague. We predict that the city will flip this script and begin claiming that records that don’t actually exist do exist and then send us all on a wild goose chase for them. They’ll start saying that requests are too specific and chastise us for micro-managing.
By the end of the year, we foresee the city getting even more creative in its evasion of records requests. People showing up to City Hall to collect documents will be shown a series of photos and must pick out which have stop lights, and then they must identify an Imo’s pie among photos of various St. Louisstyle pizzas. —Ryan Krull
ese 10 Openings Will Be Where Everyone’s Eating In 2023
Despite the many challenges that persist in the hospitality business, St. Louis diners have reason to be optimistic about the coming year. Longtime favorites are poised to expand, newcomers are planting roots, and it’s entirely possible that the area will, once and for all, get a respectable bagel shop. Here are the 10 places we’re most looking forward to in 2023.
Amighetti’s
ince 1 16, Amighetti s has been a fi ture of the Hill’s sandwich scene, garnering national acclaim for Mrs. Amighetti’s special namesake sandwich — a heaping pile of ham, roast beef and salami served with St. Louis-style cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, pepperoncini and zesty dressing on wonderfully crusty bread. Under the leadership of Anthony Favazza, the restaurant has been operating out
We predict a lot of noshing upon Katie’s pizza at ball games. | MABEL SUEN
BOLD PREDICTIONS
Continued from pg 19
of its Rock Hill storefront since 2016, but it’s always been his dream — and the dream of Mrs. Amighetti — to one day bring the iconic shop back to the heart of St. Louis’ Italian American community. Last year, Favazza made that dream a reality by purchasing the old Hanneke Hardware and Industrial Supply building on Southwest and Macklind, which he is in the process of renovating into a brand-new Amighetti’s. Bonus, Favazza’s other storied St. Louis brand, Hank’s cheesecakes, is also slated to operate out of the same storefront. The Hill has never been more delicious.
Benton Park Cafe
Last April, Benton Park Cafe cofounder Jessica Lenzen shuttered the neighborhood eatery in preparation for a renovation. It never reopened, and as time passed, Lenzen realized that she was not so sure whether or not she had it in her to continue to operate the business. Enter Elicia Eskew and Gavin Haslett, two Benton Park Cafe regulars and local businesspeople who were looking for an opportunity to invest in their community. The two are working toward reopening the beloved spot sometime this year and promise that they see themselves as stewards of the restaurant’s legacy, not change agents. As evidence? Their commitment to keep the photograph of late cofounder John Caton in its position of prominence in the dining room.
Bonito Bar
As if partners Natasha Kwan and Rick Roloff haven’t already made their stretch of University City a food and beverage hot spot, the Frida’s and Diego’s owners have plans to convert the space between their two eateries into the forthcoming hot spot Bonito Bar. Though Bonito Bar will have a separate identity from Frida’s, guests can enter the new spot through a glass door inside the restaurant, where they will encounter a 12-to-14-seat bar featuring seasonal cocktails that utilize fresh-squeezed juices. Kwan and Roloff have made a name for their impeccable design aesthetic as much as for their delicious food, so expect stylish digs that evoke a Miami vibe.
Deli Divine
St. Louis is poised to get a proper Jewish deli courtesy of Ben Poremba. The chef and restaurateur has partnered with the nonprofit hub Delmar Divine to open Deli Divine, a delicatessen that will feature pastrami, corned beef, babka, bagels, lox and Poremba’s famous egg salad. But for Poremba, the impetus for opening the spot has less to do with operating a deli and more to do with honoring the neighborhood’s Jewish heritage. What better way to do that with such edible comfort?
Katie’s Pizza & Pasta Osteria at Ballpark Village
Cardinals fans have reason to celebrate the 2023 season beyond Wainwright’s return to the mound: Katie’s Pizza & Pasta Osteria, the beloved Italian-inspired restaurant owned by Katie Lee Collier and Ted Collier, will open its third area location at Ballpark Village, giving baseball fans a delicious way to set a base before all of that draft-beer imbibing at the stadium. Game day just got more delicious.
Looking Meadow Coffee
camper, Looking Meadow Coffee has become a staple of Tower Grove Farmers’ Market. Soon, the vegan-friendly coffee and baked goods brand will have its own storefront, located in the former Stone Spiral coffeehouse in a residential part of Maplewood. Look for expanded food and drink offerings and even a host of adult beverages when owner Jaime Hermand secures a liquor license for the forthcoming shop.
Maryland House
Soon, the long-vacant Mandarin Lounge space will be converted into a modern eating and drinking establishment, courtesy of Kevin Brennan, the Central West End bar operator whose rennan s has firmly established itself as the tony neighborhood’s Cheers. Brennan hopes to capture some of that Brennan’s magic at the forthcoming lounge and events venue; if you’ve seen the swanky renderings, there’s no question he will soon have another hit on his hands.
Nexus Cultural Cuisine
Food and beverage powerhouses Ceaira Jackson and Misha Sampson have been bringing t. Louis e cellent dining e periences, first at their Soulard restaurant Fleur de Lilies and later at the Central West End seafood hot spot Bait. Now, the pair are poised to again dazzle diners with their forthcoming Nexus Cultural Cuisine, a cross-cultural tapas experience that will open in the middle of all the Midtown action. Look for international flavors, exciting cocktails and a lively, lounge-like experience that is sure to be hit number three for the duo.
Sado
After two decades of bringing delectable Japanese cuisine to the St. Louis region from its west-county storefront, Nippon Tei is shutting its doors, moving to the Hill and rebranding itself as Sado, a sushi restaurant and Japanese grill that will be a culinary incubator for chef and owner Nick Bognar. Longtime Nippon Tei fans will be happy to see some old favorites on the menu, but Bognar emphasizes that this is a reinvention, which will take the former menu as a jumping-off point to do new and exciting things.
Videira Wine Shop & Bar
For years, Mykel McIntosh has had a passion for the beverage side of the hospitality industry, honing her craft alongside Ceaira Jackson and Misha Sampson at Bait while doing her own research to become an expert in her craft. Now, she’s putting all of that knowledge together at Videira Wine Shop & Bar, a modern, stylish speakeasy that will have a unique selection of wines by the glass, craft cocktails and thoughtful noshes. Located in a new development in the soon-to-be-bustling midtown, McIntosh hopes Videira will be the place people think of when they are looking for somewhere to go for after-dinner drinks or a nice, relaxing glass of wine on the patio. —Cheryl Baehr n