Riverfront Times, November 16, 2022

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher Chris Keating

Editor in Chief Rosalind Early

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Jessica Rogen Editor at Large Daniel Hill

Digital Content Editor Jaime Lees

Food Editor Cheryl Baehr

Staff Writers Ryan Krull, Monica Obradovic, Benjamin Simon Theater Critic Tina Farmer

Copy Editor Evie Hemphill

Contributors Chris Andoe, Smoky Bear, Thomas K. Chim chards, Joseph Hess, Reuben Hemmer, Andy Paulissen, Mabel Suen, Graham Toker, David Von Nordheim, Theo Welling

Columnists Chris Andoe, Ray Hartmann, Dan Savage

Editorial Interns Kasey Noss, Sarah Lovett

ART & PRODUCTION

Art Director Evan Sult Creative Director Haimanti Germain Production Manager Sean Bieri Graphic Designer Aspen Smit

MULTIMEDIA ADVERTISING

Associate Publisher Colin Bell Account Manager Jennifer Samuel Directors of Business Development Tony Burton, Rachel Hoppman, Chelsea Nazaruk

MARKETING

Director of Marketing & Events Christina Kimerle

BUSINESS Regional Operations Director Emily Fear

photo by SARAH LOVETT

CIRCULATION Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

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FRONT BURNER

THREE QUESTIONS for Political Expert Anita Manion

Previously On

LAST WEEK IN ST. LOUIS

MONDAY,

“drowning

Shortly after the midterm elections, RFT caught up with Anita Man ion, an assistant professor of political science at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, to discuss the results.

What is your first reaction to Election Day results?

When it comes to the Missouri races, I don’t think there were huge surprises in the results. But some of the surprising things were more so the margins.

For example, Megan Green won by a 10-point margin in St. Louis city. That’s pretty significant, where Sam Page in St. Louis County, which has gone Democrat for [more than] 30 years, eked out a win closer to five points with a last-minute opponent in Mark Man tovani. Those are some of, to me, the interesting things looking at how those played out.

The Democrats, it looks like they’re going to pick up about five seats in the statehouse. So I think if you’re a Democrat in Missouri, maybe that’s a silver lining.

What stood out to you in the St. Louis city results?

I think it’s a victory for progressives in St. Louis city. You now have a historic, all-woman Board of Estimate and Apportionment with Tishaura Jones, Darlene Green and Megan Green ... in a time where St. Louis really has to overcome some concerns from the voters about corruption. Obviously, this race happened because [former Board of Aldermen President] Lewis Reed had resigned and other members of the board. So I think it’s a pivotal time for St. Louis city to really maybe do some reforms around those tax abate ments and other issues that led to this bribery. ...

And it’s a lot more likely Tishaura Jones will be able to make progress in her agenda with Megan Green there instead of Lewis Reed. Now, the caveat is that Megan Green is only in office for a few months before she has to run for reelection.

The state still largely went red. Do you see that changing at all in the future?

It will be an uphill battle for Democrats in Missouri, but I think they can continue to make inroads. … It is interesting to me that, in Missouri, if we look at 2018, 2020, 2022, we’ve passed these pro gressive ballot initiatives for things like legalizing marijuana, rais ing the minimum wage, passing Medicaid expansion.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8 Election results are in: Sam Page, Ann Wagner, Eric Schmitt — the winners get more conservative as the stakes get higher. At least we’re getting recreational weed?

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 9 The red wave proved to be a red trickle, even in Missouri. Dems actually picked up a few seats. Also, the Archdiocese will stall school closures for another year. Apparently they didn’t anticipate the level of outrage. Which is weird (how could closing neighborhood schools inspire anything but outrage?), but we’ll take it.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10 Post-Dispatch A-1 headline: “Who Is Dennis Hancock?” Let us enlighten you: He’s the

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11 St. Louisan Jack Dorsey gave Twitter to the world and now an overconfident rich moron has basically set it on fire. While we’re enjoying creat ing fake accounts to torment @elonmusk, we’re also sad. Why do other sites have so many good-looking people posting self ies? Is there no social media for homely assholes who are quick with a quip?

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12 What’s this white stuff?? No, seriously; WTF. Parts of the metro got seven inches (and not the inches you want). Also, Tiffany Trump married a billionaire. The less-loved Trump daughter got something blue: Nevada — and the Senate — went to the Dems.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13 Josh Hawley calls for the corpse of the Republican Party to be set on fire, turned to ash and buried. “The old party is dead. Time to bury it. Build something new.” Finally, something we can agree on

ESCAPE HATCH

We ask three St. Louisans what they’re reading, watching or listening to. In the hot seat this week: three arts organization leaders.

ANDREW JORGENSEN,Opera Theatre of Saint Louis Listening to: “Baby Shark” and the podcast People I (Mostly) Admire “Being a new parent has definitely changed my listening habits in fun ny ways. Baby Caleb is a big fan [of “Baby Shark”] The podcast is hosted by Steven Levitt, who co-wrote the popular book Freakonomics, and features interviews with thought leaders and high achievers across a variety of industries and subjects.”

HANA S. SHARIF, the Repertory Theatre of St. Louis Reading (by way of listening to): The Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult “It explores the divergent paths our lives might take if we’d just made a single choice differently. Essentially two parallel universes of you, where you get to look behind both corners. Growing up, I was always a huge fan of choose-your-own-adventure stories, so this book has been the philosophical jaunt down memory lane.”

Benjamin Simon

At the same time, we vote for candidates who are very conser vative and oppose those issues. So it tells me that there are policy issues that are more liberal that resonate with voters across the state. And if the Democrats can find a way to connect with those and overcome that nationalization, those culture-war issues, they could have a chance.

RACHEL TIBBETS, Prison Performing Arts Reading: Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado “It’s an excellent collection of short stories including a modern retelling of ‘The Girl with the Green Ribbon,’ which was my favorite scary story when I was little.”

Anita Manion weighs in on what the midterm results mean for Missouri. | COURTESY PHOTO

NOVEMBER 7 Judge Jason Sengheiser orders the city’s crime lab to destroy drugs seized in nearly 7,000 cas es after police sued, saying the lab was

in drugs.” Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner apparently allowed destruction requests to pile up, endangering workers as the contraband grew moldy. Imagine letting your drugs go unsnorted to the point mold develops. The mind reels!

Republican mayor of Fenton, elected to fill the St. Louis County Council seat Tim Fitch is vacating. Shouldn’t they have asked this question then, when it might help voters?

WEEKLY WTF?!

Hole Watch

Seen: November 10, 11:15 a.m.

Size: Big enough to easily eat a bicycle

Location: Directly in the bike lane (lol) at Chouteau and Mississippi

Fear factor: 8 (out of 10)

Likelihood C.H.U.D.s are to blame: Extremely high

Possibility it’s Ninja Turtles instead: Also very likely

Amount of time before it was fixed: Less than four hours

SO ST. LOUIS Rideshare

An anonymous story about some thing that could only happen in the Gateway City.

My friend and I decided to drop ecstasy at the dorms. (This was a long time ago, back before it was called molly.) We thought it should kick in right as we’re arriv ing at the party. Bad timing. When we got on the MetroLink, we were high as kites and chatting happily with some guy we’d just met. It was his birthday.

“You should come to this party with us!” we gushed, two girls with glitter all over their faces. He said his cousin was picking him up. We asked if he could drop us off at the party. He agreed.

The car was extremely warm. The cousin was confused but ami able. There were hugs all around when we reached our destination.

The experience confirmed our conviction that humanity was ulti mately good, that being sheltered somehow also protected you.

A year later, we had a car, and

it was raining out. We saw a man walking along the street. Decid ing to pay it forward, we asked him where he was going. Delmar Metrolink station. We offered to give him a ride. He got in the car reeking of cigarettes.

“You girls just pick men up off the street?” he asked, astonished. “Do you have a gun in the car?”

No. We didn’t. But we suddenly felt that it was dangerous to admit that.

In our world of heavy drug use and late-night parties, we were of ten trying to get rides from strang ers. Now that we had a car, we’d pack our old Buick as full as we could and roll up to strangers’ homes to do whippits.

He continued, saying that we could get hurt. We dropped him off in awkward silence. There were no hugs.

“I don’t think we should do that anymore,” my friend said.

“Yeah,” I replied. And we didn’t.

Send your So St. Louis story to jrogen@ euclidmediagroup.com.

Missouri Voters Must Protect Abortion Rights

Amending the state constitution is the only recourse in a post-Roe world

BY RAY HARTMANN

The time has come.

The midterm elections have confirmed that the ju dicial affiliate of the Repub lican Party — a.k.a. the U.S. Supreme Court — awakened a sleeping giant by violating princi ple and precedent with its Dobbs decision overturning Roe v. Wade As Jay-Z said, “Numbers don’t lie, check the scoreboard.”

In 2022, there were six ballot measures addressing abortion across the nation — the most on record for a single year. All six re sulted in solid pro-choice victories.

First was the historic rejection by Kansas voters in August of an attempt to remove protection of abortion rights from the state con stitution. It was rejected in that red state by an astonishing land slide of 59-to-41 percent.

The only major poll published be fore that election had the anti-abor tion side winning by four points. That 22-point miss should have alerted the punditry to a Dobbs ef fect coming to the midterms.

It did not. But the five ballot measures decided last week took care of that.

Voters in deep-red Kentucky and Montana rejected anti-abor tion measures by nearly identical 52-to-47 margins. The Kentucky measure would have amended the state constitution to assert that nothing in it creates a right to abor tion or government funding for it. Montana’s would have stated that infants born alive at any stage of development are legal persons.

Less surprising were the huge margins by which voters in Michi gan, California and Vermont asserted broad rights to repro ductive freedom in their constitu tions. Taken with the three redstate victories for the pro-choice side, a clear message emerged:

Dobbs changed everything.

That’s why the pro-choice ma jority in Missouri needs to do something that has never hap pened in the history of the state: It needs to put the issue of reproduc tive rights before the voters.

For all the bitter and costly wars over abortion rights that have dom inated Missouri’s political land scape for decades, neither side has put the matter on the statewide bal lot. Now’s the time to change that.

Here’s my suggestion for how a Missouri constitutional amend ment should read on the state bal lot, at the next available general election:

The Missouri General Assembly shall make no law abridging the re productive freedom of any person in the first 13 weeks of that person’s pregnancy. Neither the state of Mis souri nor any of its political subdivi sions shall restrict the right of any person to assist another person in exercising the right to an abortion; nor shall any law or ordinance re strict the right of a licensed physi cian to perform an abortion. All existing laws and ordinances in Missouri restricting a person’s ac cess to medical care during the first 13 weeks of a pregnancy — includ ing abortion services — are hereby repealed.

The most important concern re garding any such constitutional amendment is that it has the max imum chance of passage. Here are some reasons I believe this ap proach could work:

It is simple and straightforward, with language modeled after the First Amendment of the .S. Constitution, which is where the right to reproductive freedom belongs.

It avoids the usual objections to such amendments by not indulg ing in language that is readily subject to misinterpretation. It declares what government shall not do but does not attempt to legislate what it must do.

It represents common ground.

HARTMANN

Like it or not on the pro-choice side, a more aggressive ap proach such as attempting to codify Roe v. Wade language into the state constitution would fail. It just would. Moving the discus sion out of the existing partisan divide is essential.

It would have an enormous posi tive impact on the lives of thou sands of Missouri women and their families. More than 90 per cent of abortions occur during the first 13 weeks of pregnancy.

It does not attempt to do too much. Nothing in the amend ment precludes aggressive ef forts by anti-abortion forces to restrict or outlaw abortion after the first trimester. So be it. Bet ter that than to have the public swamped with arguments at tempting to make all abortions seems as if they’re taking place moments before childbirth.

It is critical to understand why the Dobbs decision changed the political world to the degree it did. This is no longer a matter of du eling philosophies over women’s control of their bodies, or the ori gin of life or any of the rest.

The unique feature of Dobbs is that — for the first time in nearly 50 years — the argument over abor tion has been transformed from an ideological issue to reality. Women are no longer horrified at the pros pect of losing their freedom.

It’s happening in real time.

For almost the past 50 years, since a principled iteration of the .S. Supreme Court protected women with its landmark Roe v. Wade decision, millions of women have suffered from unending at tempts to obliterate their repro ductive freedom. The anti-abor tion movement has emerged as one of the most powerful forces in American politics.

For many of those years, I’ve been arguing in these pages that the is sue has been miscast. Anti-abortion policies needed to be understood for what they were, I would rail, which is “an unfunded government childbirth mandate for all pregnant women in America.”

If one surveys Americans about whether they “favor abortion on demand,” it is far more likely to evoke negative reactions than if the question reads, “Do you be lieve that the federal government should require by law that every

pregnant woman bring her preg nancy to term?”

To that last question, one could add clauses such as “regardless of her religious views regarding the origin of life” or “regardless of how her unintended pregnancy came to be, or whether bearing a child would have devastating con sequences for all concerned.”

The bottom line is this: Ameri cans of all political views and reli gions and ethnicities and econom ic classes overwhelmingly share a healthy distrust of the government regulating their lives. That’s not unique to women, or to pregnant women. It’s not about labels or groups; it’s about being an Ameri can. We all cherish freedom.

Obviously, “freedom” gets de fined differently when the subject is other people’s freedom. That’s true of both ends of the political spectrum.

But move those differences of opinion into real life and you get a very different landscape. That’s what happened with the Dobbs decision obliterating women’s re productive freedom.

That’s why this is the time for action. Missouri’s Republican leg islators are enemies of women’s freedom — and will remain so — because opposing that freedom has been so richly rewarding for so many years.

There remains a zero possibility that these legislators are about to change their stripes. Ditto for the conservative, former rural sheriff in the governor’s seat.

So, there’s only one alterna tive available to people who care about protecting women’s rights in Missouri. That’s to go to the bal lot, sooner rather than later, and put it to a vote of the people.

There’s a real chance that by taking away Roe protections for women, the conservative justices may have inadvertently done more to assure the long-term free dom of those women than anyone dreamed. Measures to protect abortion rights will keep cropping up all over America, in states red and blue.

In Missouri, this too shall pass. n

Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann1952@ gmail.com or catch him at 7 p.m. on Thurs days on Nine PBS and St. Louis in the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9-11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

A Killer Speaks

tally absent of any sort of insight into why he murdered five wom en who were among the most vul nerable in the city.

Confessed

serial killer Gary Muehlberg speaks out from prison

Written by RYAN KRULL

Confessed serial killer Gary Muehlberg has spoken pub licly for the first time since September, when prosecut ing attorneys from three jurisdictions announced murder charges against him for a spree of serial murders that occurred in 1990 and 1991.

“I took five innocent lives. That’s fact. That’s not bragging. That’s fact,” Muehlberg, 73, said during a 30-minute phone call from prison.

From March 1990 to February 1991, Muehlberg says he brought his victims to his house in BelRidge under the pretenses of pay ing them for sex. He killed Robyn Mihan, 18; Donna Reitmeyer, 40; Brenda Pruitt, 27; and Sandy Lit tle, 21, then left their bodies in conspicuous containers in public areas as a way to taunt law en forcement. Because of his MO, Muehlberg became known as the Package Killer.

Earlier this year, he revealed to detectives that he had killed a fifth woman, whose name he doesn’t remember — if he ever knew it at all — and whose body he says he left in a steel barrel at a Ram-Jet self-service car wash. Detectives are still working to identify the victim.

While all five murders went unsolved for decades, Muehlberg landed in prison for the 1993 mur der of his acquaintance Kenneth “Doc” Atchison, whose body was recovered in a homemade coffin in Muehlberg’s basement. Found guilty in 1995, Muehlberg has been in state prison ever since, most recently at the Potosi Correc tional Center.

In conversation, Muehlberg spoke at length about the personal woes that have befallen him in the past two months. He was short on sympathy for his victims, and to

When asked what compelled him to murder, he said, “I’ve thought about it so many times. I don’t know. It’s not a cop-out. I don’t know exactly what was go ing on that would cause me to do this. What would cause me to stop doing it, what triggered it. What silenced it.”

Muehlberg tended to talk about the killings by asking rhetorical questions, as if he were trying to get to the bottom of someone else’s crimes. He never once used the word “murder.”

“Was I having a bad hair day? Was it road rage? Were the in tentions fluid at first, then they turned evil?” he asked.

Muehlberg said he paid many women for sex whom he didn’t kill. Sometimes he had sex with the women in his conversion van, other times at the women’s homes.

“I really don’t know what ex actly triggered these episodes,” he said. “I’m not being evasive. I’m not being a smartass. I do not re member.”

He said that delving back into his memories from those years triggers panic attacks.

A former Potosi corrections of ficer, who worked for six years in the wing where Muehlberg is housed, says that when he learned Muehlberg had been revealed as the Package Killer, he thought to himself, “That explains a lot.”

The officer, who asked that his name not be used, says that Muehl berg spent a lot of time in the prison library and was nice and charming on the surface. “But you always felt creeped out about him.”

Being around Muehlberg, the officer says, felt similar to walk ing into a dark room: “When you walk into a dark room, you’re not afraid of the dark — you’re afraid of what you might think might be in the dark.”

Muehlberg, who grew up in north St. Louis County and Kansas, spoke in an unrushed voice which at times sounded country-inflected. He was perfectly coherent, though at times contradicted himself.

He said he was relieved after confessing his murderous secrets to a detective. “I was tired of run ning,” he said.

However, he was quick to com

plain about the “stress” that be ing revealed to be a serial killer has brought him. He’s had fits of extreme anxiety that have been compounded by the criminal charges filed against him.

“They’ve had to rush me up to the infirmary and put me on oxy gen,” he said.

When Detective Sergeant Jodi Weber with the O’Fallon Police Department, who had been inves tigating the Package Killer case for more than a decade, showed up at Potosi this summer, Muehlberg said, “I had maybe a vague sus picion [why she was there], and when she asked me, ‘Do I know Robyn so-and-so,’ it was like, it hit the fan. It’s here. After 32 years it’s come full circle.”

He said he thought to himself, “Which direction do I go? Accep tance and responsibility or denial?

“I could have drug all this out, by refusing to sign papers, refus ing to talk to them without an at torney.”

Muehlberg said that after some “hurried-up soul searching,” he decided to take a “positive direc tion” for the sake of the victims’ families. “At least they got some closure,” he said. He sees his de cision to confess and cooperate as a sacrifice, going so far as to com pare it to “in combat somebody throwing themselves on a gre nade to save your buddy.”

The families of his victims are not impressed.

“I 100 percent believe he is only thinking of himself. I have never once thought he felt remorse. He’s a monster to me. There will be no forgiveness on my side,” says Ge neva Talbott, Sandy Little’s sister. “He’s been content for 30 years never confessing. He’s sick in the head.”

Both Talbott and Tommy Mihan, Robyn’s brother, took umbrage at the notion that Muehlberg doesn’t know why he stopped taking lives.

“I know why he stopped,” Tom

my says. “Because he went to pris on doing life without [parole].”

Saundra Mihan, Robyn’s moth er, says she forgives Muehlberg, though she thinks of him as a monster who “still has to answer for his unspeakable evil deeds that he put [his victims] through.”

Little’s half-sister Barb Studt says she is highly skeptical of Muehlberg’s lack of recall. “He left my 10-month-old nephew moth erless, and why? He doesn’t re member why? I call B.S. on that.”

Juanita Zills, the daughter of vic tim Donna Reitmeyer, also won ders how such heinous acts could be wiped from someone’s memory.

“We all know why we do some thing,” she says. “[Muehlberg] isn’t able to own it and say it out loud.”

Zills’ sister, Dawn, says she for gives Muehlberg, but suspects he’s minimizing his crimes.

Authorities say that Muehlberg has been cooperative with their investigation, though his inability to recall basic facts about his un named fifth victim (classified as a “Jane Doe”) is a frustration, as it leaves investigators little to work with.

In describing the situation, Muehlberg again spoke in rhetori cal questions, sounding clinical, as if describing a situation in which he’s merely an observer.

“There’s no body, no remains, nothing to get a DNA sample from,” he says. “There’s nothing on the law side to prove or disprove the Jane Doe case. The barrel is a mystery, what happened to it? Did it get hauled off? Where is it?”

Gary Muehlberg in 1993. | POLICE BOOKING PHOTO

“ I took five innocent lives. That’s fact. That’s not bragging. That’s fact.”

One sliver of a clue is that Muehlberg has said he picked up at least one of his victims at the Wedge, a now-shuttered bar that was at the corner of Bates Street and Virginia Avenue in the Caron delet neighborhood.

Detectives have stressed that if anyone knows anything about a woman last seen there, or if any one knows anything about a body found in a barrel at a car wash in the early 1990s, to please contact law enforcement.

Muehlberg began cooperating with law enforcement only after he got prosecutors to agree to take the death penalty off the table.

Muehlberg’s insistence that execution be taken off the table stemmed from his getting to know death-row inmates over his years in prison, including Jeffrey Fer guson, executed in 2014, and Ra heem Taylor (formerly Leonard Taylor), who is scheduled to die Tuesday, February 7.

“He knows when he’s going to die,” Muehlberg says of Taylor. “He knows the exact minute of the day of the month of the year.”

Muehlberg exhausted his ap peals on the Atchison case in 1997. He says he’s accepted that he knows he’ll die in prison, but couldn’t bear living with the knowledge of exactly when.

Muehlberg, who is in kidney failure, says he wants justice to move swiftly.

“If you can arraign me, let me enter my plea and sentence me at the same time — I’m all for it,” he says.

He says he wants to spare the victims’ families from a drawn out court proceeding. But speak ing with him, one can’t help get ting the sense he has a more selfinterested motive for this all to wrap up quickly.

He’s worried about going to the St. Louis area to appear in court. In Potosi he’s in an honor wing of the prison, and he worries if he’s gone too long, he might lose his cell. He seems truly oblivious to how petty these inconveniences sound in the context of his crimes.

“Poor, poor dude has to give up his comfy cell and come down to St. Louis and face what he’s done,” Tommy Mihan says.

“No one else cares that he will be ‘uprooted’ from his ‘comfortable’ cell to have to start his court pro ceedings,” Saundra Mihan says. n

The Progressive Shakeup

Megan Green’s win last week ushers in a new era in St. Louis

Written by MONICA OBRADOVIC

It’s 9:30 p.m. on election night. Constituents of Alderman Jack Coatar meander around tables and chat amiably as they sip beer and wine at Molly’s in Soulard. Less than five miles away in the Grove, a throng of sweaty Megan Green supporters pump their fists to DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win” as the music blares at HandleBar.

At that point, the celebration may have been a bit premature — unofficial election results didn’t cinch Green’s victory until over an hour later, and Coatar didn’t con cede until around 10 p.m. — but the excite ment surrounding Green was palpable.

For most, the night was the first of a new St. Louis.

Green’s victory over Coatar, a more moderate Democrat to Green’s far-left progressive, means that for the first time ever St. Louis will have a woman president of the Board of Aldermen. Even more than that: St. Louis now has a progressive leader with near-identical ideals to that of St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones and Congresswoman Cori Bush (D-St. Louis). Plus, Green will sit with the mayor and Comptroller Darlene Green on the Board of Estimate and Apportionment, the city’s top fiscal body — making the city’s top-three decision makers, for the first time in St. Louis history, all women.

A progressive leader working in tandem with the same leaders who endorsed her signifies a seismic shift in St. Louis governance, Green’s supporters say. After years of divisive politics and former Board President Lewis Reed and Jones rarely seeing eye to eye, Green’s supporters optimistically see her ascent as an end to St. Louis’ stark divide among top leadership that stymied progress.

“Today, St. Louis chose collaboration over confrontation,” Jones said to the crowd at Green’s party. “Today, St. Louis chose progress over the status quo.”

Jones urged Green to run for Board of Aldermen president after federal charges against three former members of the board rocked St. Louis. A bribery investigation led to the resignations and guilty pleas of Reed and former Aldermen Jeffrey Boyd and John Collins-Muhammad. All three will be sentenced in December.

Reed’s departure marked the end of

his more than 20 years in public office, 15 of which he spent as president of the Board of Aldermen. Coatar’s critics feared his election would have returned St. Louis back to the status quo established by Reed — a claim exacerbated by the endorsements Coatar received from former St. Louis Mayors Lyda Krewson and Francis Slay. This signaled to some that Coatar would keep St. Louis in the past and away from a new future.

Yet Coatar’s supporters say his lessprogressive views were what made him the best candidate. His middle ground presented a happy in-between for St. Louisans who wanted change, just not as drastic as what Green has called for.

Green believes the city cannot become safer without first addressing poverty, drug addiction and mental-health needs. Coatar prioritized restoring basic city ser vices and staffing up the undermanned police department and 911 system.

Interim St. Louis Board of Aldermen President Joe Vollmer endorsed Coatar. He describes the alderman as “level headed” and willing to listen “to both sides of anything” — something Vollmer says he doesn’t see in Green.

She has a “one-sided” progressive agenda that “doesn’t seem to work,” Vollmer says. It was police, not social work ers, who stopped the shooting at Central Visual Performing Arts High School three weeks ago, he says.

“These people [progressives] get stuck on clichés and agendas, as opposed to getting to the root of the problem and talking to people,” Vollmer says.

Yet Green’s supporters say a cohort of like-minded progressives leading the city is a good thing. A board president working alongside the mayor would get more things done and quicker. Same goes with cooperation with federal offices.

“Mayor Tishaura Jones and I, and our offices, work so well together,” Bush tells

the RFT. “[There’s] much more we could do if we had a Board of Aldermen president who was able to make the changes within the board that would help us be able to deliver even more.”

Last year, Green led a push to “flip the board” to a progressive majority, an effort that mostly worked. Three of the four seats Green targeted ended up with progressive aldermen, including 17th Ward Alderwoman Tina “Sweet-T” Pihl.

“I think Megan will work across the aisle — she’ll have to work across the aisle,” Pihl says. “It needs to happen, because it wasn’t happening before.”

Green will have to prove in the months leading up to April that she can work in political aisles other than her own if she wants to stay in office. She’s only replacing Reed for what would have been the remainder of his term. St. Louis will have another election for Board of Aldermen president in April.

Green promised a more effective and cohesive board after her win last week.

“The Board of Aldermen is not going to be run the same way it has been,” she said. “No more of the divisive politics and the pitting people against each other that holds the city back. We cannot afford that type of leadership anymore.” n

Megan Green declares victory at last week’s watch party. | MONICA OBRADOVIC

“

I think Megan will work across the aisle. It needs to happen, because it wasn’t happening before.”

MISSOURILAND

Werq It

Club Renaissance, hosted by WerQfest STL, is a gorgeous Beyonce-themed dance party

Words by JAIME LEES

Photos by THEO WELLING

If you say the magic words (“Be yonce-themed dance party”), you know we’ll show up. Check out all of the fun that was had at the latest event hosted by WerQfest, an arts and culture festival highlighting the Black, queer, trans and nonbinary community. (We loved WerQfest 2022 so much that we named it the best arts and music festival of the year.)

Held at .ZACK (3224 Locust Street) on November 12, the event promised a “night of joy, danc ing and LOOKS.” The party sure delivered on that promise, too. With most guests dressed to im press, not only did we see LOOKS, we saw LEWKS, too. St. Louis was showing off its best side, and its best side is glittery. n

In St. Louis these haunted old bricks have a story to tell, including that of rehabber BARBARA CLARK, who helped save LaSalle Park when she was its lone resident

When filmmaker Geoff Story bought his circa-18 3 Federal-style home in LaSalle Park in 2002, neighbors shared the folklore of previous owner Barbara Clark, who left the cavernous residence nearly a decade earlier and moved to Vero Beach, Florida. “The main thing they talked about were the lavish parties,” Story recalls. Clark and her late husband Don Hall owned the magazine St. Louis Home, which they sold to Pulitzer for nearly 1 million in 1991. The couple, also known for their matching Peugeot sports cars, regularly hosted opulent events for over 100 guests in the house and side gardens. It was said that nobody turned down an invitation.

LaSalle Park, like Soulard and Lafayette Square, is part of the broader area once known as Frenchtown. It was also part of Soulard until the mid-1950s when construction on I-55 began. The interstate was completed in 19 2 and is now the neighborhood’s southeast boundary.

Story’s then-partner Lance Frutiger introduced him to the neighborhood of historic Victorianand Federal-style row houses on

a winter evening just as the snow began to fall, and he fell in love. A friend of theirs in the neighbor hood told them about an available house in the 900 block of Morrison Avenue.

“The owners didn’t have it listed on the open market because they wanted to first offer it to someone in the neighborhood,” Story says when recalling the frigid night they first saw the house with its grand iron gate, 10 -foot ceilings, thick

millwork and six fireplaces. He re membered the residence feeling dark and spooky. “They were Ca nadian Mennonites and didn’t be lieve in wasting electricity, so we’re touring this, what feels at the time to be an enormous old house, and they’re turning lights on and off as they show us each room.”

The property became Story’s passion. “I was obsessed with finding the secrets of the house.” And there was no shortage of secrets to

uncover. Story found newspaper records of numerous deaths at the home, including of a family who appeared to have been wiped out by the Spanish flu. One death was of a heartbroken grandmother after her daughter and grandchild were murdered by her son-in-law at their Compton Hill mansion — a murder that made national headlines. Story even located and visited the graves of former residents. (While Story says he doesn’t believe in ghosts, he did note that after visiting one grave, his home stereo turned itself on at 10 p.m. two nights in a row.) He welcomed former residents to visit, including one who lived there as a child in the 1920s, and a renowned Iranian professor who rented a room while studying white poverty in the 19 0s.

Finding people and solving mys teries is what Story does. After

By Chris Andoe

Documentary filmmaker Geo Story has worked to uncover the history of his house in LaSalle Park. It was originally restored by Barbara Clark, who was also the area’s only resident for years. | COURTESY GEOFF STORY

BRICKS THAT BIND

Continued from pg 15

acquiring footage of a gay pool par ty from the 1940s, Story and his di rector of research, Beth Prusaczyk, were able to identify many of the people filmed, track down many of their friends and relatives, and even find the party’s location for his documentary Gay Home Mov ie. But despite all his successes in locating people from the film and from the house, one mystery elud ed him: Barbara Clark. And then she emailed.

The ’70s came in like a wrecking ball

In 1976 Barbara Clark was earn ing union wages as a UPS driver and was living in Soulard with her boyfriend, Larry Giles, who would later found the National Building Arts Center in Sauget, Illi nois. The city’s historic structures were being demolished with wild abandon in the name of urban re newal, and the two were part of a community of architectural sal vagers who worked to save things like stained glass, mantles, marble and ironwork from condemned properties.

“Demolition was effectively graft,” Clark begins as we visit in the elegant sun-drenched living room of her circa-1883 Elsah, Il linois, home overlooking the Mis sissippi. “Buddies of politicians would get the contract.”

In the ’60s and ’70s Soulard was gritty and poor, largely home to rural whites (some, according to Clark, kept pigs in their base ments) drawn by the cheap rent, and Clark said it was losing 100 buildings a summer for a time. Still, it was faring better than La Salle Park. When a wide swath

of urban fabric was bulldozed to clear a path for Interstate 55, cut ting the area off from the rest of Soulard, LaSalle Park decayed like a severed limb. This was of con cern to the executives of Ralston Purina since their headquarters sit at the district’s northern edge, and city leaders feared the For tune 500 company might leave.

Former Ralston attorney Fred Perabo, who was a central figure in LaSalle Park’s redevelopment, says those fears were somewhat founded. “When I came aboard in 1967, I heard stories about mov ing the headquarters to St. Louis County, but Donald Danforth Sr., who was chairman of the board, and Donald Danforth Jr., who was an executive, wouldn’t let that happen.”

One hundred and thirty-six acres of the area were declared blighted in 1969, and the St. Louis Land Clearance for Redevelop ment Authority began the buyout process. All residents, who were largely low-income whites, were forced to sell. Ralston Purina cre ated a subsidiary called LaSalle Park Redevelopment Corporation to redevelop the site.

In the early 1970s, Carolyn Hewes Toft, who would go on to lead the Landmarks Association from 1976 to 2008, was a preser vation planner for the city. Toft understood that federal law had changed, prohibiting the kind of wholesale clearing done to neigh borhoods like Mill Creek and Kos ciusko. She pulled out all the stops to persuade Seventh Ward Alder man Ray Leisure to stop the de molition and preserve the area in stead, and she went to battle with the city’s head of land clearance, Charlie Ferris.

“The Seventh Ward was known for colorful political figures,” Toft

Geo Story has traced his home’s history and connected with former residents. | SARAH LOVETT

Barbara Clark looked up the owner of her old home when her husband became ill. | SARAH LOVETT

Clark hosted lavish parties at her restored LaSalle Park home. | SARAH LOVETT

said during a recent phone call. While Toft did not touch on this, Leisure’s cousins were infamous ly involved in mob-war-related car bombings — including one where the bomb was planted in LaSalle Park.

By 1976 the buyout had already been completed and the final resi dents were set to vacate, but due to the efforts spearheaded by the tenacious Toft, followed by buyin from Ralston Purina, the re maining historic area would be restored rather than demolished.

A chain-link fence was erected around the historic neighbor hood’s perimeter, with a guard controlling a single access point. New streets, alleys, brick side walks, landscaping and historicstyle lighting would be installed for a new crop of residents with the means to restore the prop erties, or build on vacant lots. Ralston set about fully rehabbing five homes on the new red-brick pedestrian mall to model what completed homes could look like.

Despite the fencing and security, Clark knew the empty homes were vulnerable and likely to be scav enged. She was newly single and, after having helped several boy friends restore their houses, de cided to rehab a house of her own.

“My whole life, I felt like I could never get anything that was just mine. I was tired of always having to be the one that left when a rela tionship ended. I wanted a home of my own.”

After learning that homes in La Salle Park were coming available, she set her sights on a house on Morrison, drawn to its large side yard. It was occupied by an Irish widow named Anna O’Keefe who had lived there for decades.

“I knocked on the door and said, ‘Hey, I’m sorry they’re making

you move.’”

The 27-year-old Clark explained to the white-haired O’Keefe that she was worried about the house being stripped once it was vacant. O’Keefe seemed relatively indiffer ent about the buyout and showed Clark around the house politely and without apparent sentiment. “Of course it needed everything,” Clark says. “But the architectural elements were there.”

Clark scheduled a meeting with LaSalle Park Redevelopment Cor poration, which operated atop Ralston’s corporate tower. The homes could not be sold yet due to the eminent-domain process, but she convinced them to let her rent the house in the meantime. In the summer of 1976, reeling and heartbroken over her re cent breakup, Clark moved in as O’Keefe moved out.

Ralston, Clark says, was quite nervous about the neighborhood’s viability. People were fleeing the central city in droves, and it was hard for some to imagine anyone investing in an upscale urban is land in a sea of disinvestment.

She was the historic district’s solitary resident (not counting the occasional squatter and roaming packs of wild dogs). With no air conditioning, old behemoth space heaters, a rehab that included re moving the ceilings, and a roof that allowed rain to pour in, the living situation was primitive for the first few years.

When the homes were finally able to be sold in 1977, the first sale was not to the first resident but to prominent local author John Rod abough. Still a bit irritated about being passed over for that distinc tion to this day, Clark believes the powers that be thought that hav ing the writer as the first owner would generate buzz. In his 1980

book Frenchtown, the late author boasts of being the first owner, and recounts falling in love with the derelict neighborhood, learn ing it was to be restored and be ing elated at seeing the fence and construction.

Perabo, the attorney for Ralston, recalls Rodabough being “a South ern gentleman,” and Ralston be ing so enthusiastic about Frenchtown that they helped fund the publication.

Woman’s work Clark’s rehab cost more than the $5,000 she spent on the house, but being a Teamster meant she earned what she called “man’s wages.”

“At UPS I had 13 guys working for me. Men harassed me all day. I was good-looking when I was younger. I ignored it,” recounts Clark, who has aged marvelous ly. Ignoring harassment wasn’t always possible. After one boss at a different company groped her, Clark screamed, cursed and walked out.

“Did I put up with an extraor dinary amount of balls-to-thewall harassment? Yeah, but it just didn’t stop me. But the feminist fight is not over. We are 50 years in and still fighting the same bat tles. I hope my struggle wasn’t for nothing.”

At the dawn of the 1980s, Clark took a commission-only ad-rep job for a small organization, the South Kingshighway Businessman’s As sociation. While selling ads to busi ness owners in the KingshighwayChippewa corridor didn’t turn out to be a cash cow, she learned a lot about printing and ad sales.

Then her former boyfriend, Lar ry Giles, with whom she was still friendly, had an idea, Clark re calls: “‘Why don’t you do a news

ing, all sorts of small businesses, and sold enough ads to do the first issue of the Rehabber, which later became St. Louis Home. Our first issue, released May 1981, coin cided with National Preservation Week. We had a circulation of 30K to 40K.”

Clark credits her upbringing for her willingness to enter maledominated environments. “I was never once told not to do some thing because I’m a girl. I was never taught that we couldn’t do everything,”

She also says she is wired for her line of work. “I took the My ers-Briggs, and my personality type in women is half of 1 percent. Least common personality type,” she says of her INTJ result. “They call my personality type the ‘Ar chitect.’ I’m hardwired to do this.”

While hard to imagine today, St. Louis was a big-league media mar ket in the ’80s and early ’90s, so much so that publishing magnate Ralph M. Ingersoll Jr. invested $20 million to launch the St. Louis Sun, a daily tabloid-style paper intended to go head to head with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. In the midst of a frenzied battle for mar ket share, Don Hall, by then Clark’s husband and business partner, of fered to sell St. Louis Home to Pu litzer. “He told them, ‘You’re in a world war, and we’re a strategic port,” Clark recalls. The sale was finalized in 1991. The couple ran the magazine for Pulitzer for the first few years, and their famed parties only got more lavish once Pulitzer was footing the bill. Clark and Hall suffered a reversal of for tunes, however, when they used their beloved home for collateral when developing the Rudman

paper about rehabbing?’ I started calling people like Henry Plumb

Ralston Purina stepped in to restore LaSalle Park in the 1970s. | COURTESY GEOFF STORY LaSalle Park today has beautiful homes and some that still need repair. | SARAH LOVETT

BRICKS THAT BIND

Building on Washington Avenue. The project fell apart, and they lost the house.

The couple started over in Flor ida in 1994 and built successful businesses, and then in 2011 Hall was diagnosed with stage 4 can cer. He was given five years, and lived four and a half. While he was sick, Clark began checking in on past acquaintances and on her old life in general.

The couple hadn’t been all that social in Florida, in part because they were liberal and their com munity was strongly Republican. “Subconsciously, I believe I knew I needed more people in my life,” Clark says.

In 2011, Clark became curi ous about her former home and reached out to Story. She went to visit him at the house two years later. “I enjoyed his passion for it. I loved that house. That was the first house that was mine. Geoff was obsessed with this stuff, and I found all these old photos and shared them with him. I still love the house, but I’m very good at moving on. It was great to see it.”

The two kept in touch, and Story was a confidant while Clark dealt with Hall’s illness and passing.

LaSalle Park today

Clark is happy that the historic area has fared well over time, despite problems that include a higher crime rate than Soulard and Lafayette Square. “LaSalle Park is a jewel of a neighborhood. It has always puzzled me that it does not have a higher visibility. There is a round of serious invest ment going on in the neighbor hood today that I hope takes its public profile up another notch.”

Carolyn Toft calls LaSalle “one of the triumphs of the Landmarks Association” and says Ralston Purina, which spent millions to transform the district, was a good partner.

Fred Perabo, the former Ralston attorney who lives in Kirkwood, drives through whenever he’s in the downtown area and says he’s pleased with how it turned out. He’s struck by how the trees form a canopy over the streets. “Those were all young, freshly planted trees at the time.”

While I had attended several soirees at Story’s home in recent years, it occurred to me that I had never walked the neighborhood. On a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, I decided to do just that. As I was admiring the incredible archi

tecture, tree-lined streets and lush gardens, a 10-year-old boy named Mason crossed the street to hand me a flier for a kickball game starting in a few minutes. It was his job to round up as many neighbors as possible.

LaSalle Park’s small surviving historic district is bordered by Hickory to the north and the 10th Street pedestrian mall to the west. In a small park at 10th and Hick ory, straddling the neighborhood divide, I settled in and watched dozens of children, parents and volunteers playing, grilling and socializing. Deb Aerne was the main organizer, and was prepar ing to grill hot dogs when I ap proached. Aerne and a group of volunteers, including her niece Meg Holmes and nephew-in-law Brent Holmes — both big neigh borhood boosters — organize ac tivities, including school-supply drives and concerts on the mall with free ice cream as well as bev erages courtesy of neighborhood brewer 4 Hands.

As architecturally haphazard as LaSalle Park’s overall aesthetic may be, this kind of mixed-in come model was a utopian ideal of mid-century urban planning. The senior housing apartments on the pedestrian mall, for instance, were intended to bring back dis placed residents. The mall has seating areas to bring people to gether. And the neighborhood in cludes the suburban-style afford able housing communities LaSalle Park Village and St. Raymond’s

Apartments to the north and west. For Aerne and the group of resi dents I met, that community ideal is alive and well. Their neighbors are not people to be walled off from. For many residents of the historic area, their neighbors in the affordable housing village are part of why they are here.

Aerne took a short break from passing out drinks to children and setting up a table of snacks to ex plain that LaSalle Park aligns with her values, something I heard echoed by other residents. Neigh bors on both sides of the LaSalle divide are working to create a unified neighborhood, and to look after one another.

Mason, who lives in LaSalle Village, is walking through his neighborhood when passing out fliers on the historic blocks, and as Aerne’s right-hand man, fre quently pops by her door to visit about neighborhood business. Aerne walks through the village with fliers for events, and is met with hugs.

Of course not all residents are on the same page. “Some ask ques tions like, ‘Why are you hosting on the mall?’” says Meg Holmes. “And I say, ‘Because it’s marvelous!’”

Cornerstone of a friendship

Geoff Story was fascinated with Clark years before meeting her and says he’s in constant amaze ment of her nimble perseverance and her tolerance for risk. “She’s not afraid of failure. She could lose everything tomorrow and just

move on to the next endeavor.”

And when asked about her thoughts on her friendship with Story, Clark replies, “I just love him. I think his ability, within the context of his creativity, to make people feel something is extraordinary. I think he’s as tal ented as [Steven] Spielberg. I do every single thing I can possibly do to support him with getting his documentary done. I say, ‘I’ll do this, but you’re taking me to Sundance,’’’ she says with a laugh. “He’s a really good person. We shop, we bitch about architecture … the house bonded us, there’s no question, but it’s way beyond the house now. We have the kind of friendship where I can complain about the same thing 10 times and he’ll listen, and I’ll do the same for him. We take trips together, and since we’re both single, we have the freedom to be spontaneous.”

In 2017, Clark bought a charm ing home in picturesque Elsah, a historic town nestled between bluffs on the Great River Road near Grafton, Illinois. She oper ated it as an Airbnb for two years, and made it her residence in 2019.

“God knows I love it here. I’m surrounded by so much beauty: tugboats, bicycles, students … It’s like there’s a movie going on out my windows. What’s not to like? It’s clean. I feel safe. I feel it’s perfect.”

Clark’s cocktail parties are far smaller than in her media-mogul days, but I’ve never passed on an invitation. Her salons are inti mate gatherings with fascinating friends — most of whom have a shared appreciation for the natu ral and built environments of this region.

Story says he’s struck that some thing as random as a house laid the cornerstone for such won derful friendships, including his friendships with the Canadian Mennonites who keep in touch and have even stayed with him while visiting. “That house had an impact on all of us,” he says.

Sand castles by the sea get swept away without a trace, but this city’s haunted old bricks and the memo ries they house endure. Instinc tively, Barbara Clark knew this is where her tribe awaited. After a 19-year absence, the front door of the house on Morrison swung open to welcome her home, almost like she had never left. n

Chris Andoe is the critically ac claimed author of Delusions of Grandeur and House of Villadiva He is also the author of Chris An doe’s Society Page, an RFT column in which he profiles the city’s most interesting people.

Mason, a resident of LaSalle Park, recruiting the author to watch a kickball game. | CHRIS ANDOE

CALENDAR

BY RIVERFRONT TIMES STAFF

THURSDAY 11/17

Bangers and Books

If your idea of a librarian is the shushing spinster depicted in “Marian the Librarian,” you clearly need to get out more — or at least visit your local library. Today’s St. Louis libraries are vibrant places that bring in famous authors for packed-house book talks, teach you how to use a 3D printer and even help you clear your warrants. Oh, and they also throw concerts — as evidenced by the St. Louis County Library’s 75th anniversary party, which goes down this Thursday at the Sheldon Concert Hall (3648 Washington Boulevard). Rock Out with SLCL ’80s Party features the uplifting soul singer Brian Owens, a local favorite whose outgoing persona exemplifies the spirit of today’s county library. Guests are invited to wear their finest ’80s at tire, so find those neon scrunchies and legwarmers and prepare to hit the dance floor. Tickets range from 7.50 for library employees to 100 for VIPs, with most tickets set at $45. Come celebrate what the library is all about — or see what you’ve been missing. VIP tickets include a 6 p.m. pre-concert re ception, with the concert at 7 p.m. Details at thesheldon.org/events/

rock-out-with-slcl-80s-party.

Holiday Beer

Starting this Thursday, the worldfamous Anheuser-Busch Brewery (1200 Lynch Street, brewerylights. com) Brewery Lights will be lit up brighter than the Griswold house, and the whole city is invited to come check it out. A million twinkling lights make for a beautiful walk down Pestalozzi Street, through the heart of the brewery. There is a limit to the number of guests al lowed in every night, so buy tickets in advance. The St. Louis tradition runs 5 to 10 p.m. Thursday, Novem ber 17, through Friday, December 30. Children five and under are free; 5 for guests ages to 20; 10 for adults. Each ticket comes with a complimentary 16-ounce beer for guests 21 and up.

Sweet Tooth

When St. Louisan-turned-Bon Appetite-video-star Claire Saffitz put out her first cookbook, Des sert Person, the city collectively drew in a deep breath at the sight of her reimagined Gooey Butter Cake recipe. Here, we thought, is a real St. Louisan. She might live in N C and work at a fancy Cond Nast property, but she knows her roots — and isn’t afraid to shout them to the world. So when Saf fitz put out her second cookbook

we knew that our Midwest gal wouldn’t disappoint. And, indeed, that feeling has been borne out in her latest, which is not only deli cious but full of Midwest-inflect ed sweets. ou can see for your self and meet her during Left Bank Books Presents Claire Saf fit What’s For Dessert at 7 p.m. at Clayton High School (1 Mark Twain Circle, Clayton). Tickets are 42.50 for one or 47.50 for two and include one signed copy of her new book.

SATURDAY 11/19

Bah, Humbug!

Ring in the spirit of the season with the most famous of yuletide tales. The Repertory Theatre of St. Louis (130 Edgar Road, 314968-4925, repstl.org), will host its second annual production of A Christmas Carol, the legendary account of London’s most misera ble miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, with a variety of evening and afternoon shows from Saturday, November 19, to Friday, December 30, at the Loretto-Hilton Center in Webster Groves. In Charles Dickens’ iconic tale, the ghost of Scrooge’s friend warns him he will soon have three visitors. The three spirits of Scrooge’s past, present and future show the bitter London business man a stark reality that he must

conquer to become a better man before time runs out. If by some miracle you’ve gone through life without seeing this show, it’s a guaranteed good time that won’t leave you saying, “Bah, humbug!”

Ticket prices range from $23 to $92 and are available for pur chase online.

Glow Up

Even on its worst day, the Missouri Botanical Garden (4344 Shaw Boulevard, 314-577-5100, glow. missouribotanicalgarden.org) is, without question, one of the most beautiful places St. Louis has to offer — a sprawling 79-acre oasis of nature and horticultural won der plunked down in the heart of the city. Each year around the holiday season, the great garden steps its game up with its Garden Glow celebration, creating whim sey and wonder through what is essentially the most grandiose nondenominational Christmas display most of us will ever see.

This year marks the 10th anni versary of the popular attraction, and organizers have gone suit ably all-out, with nearly 2 million twinkling lights powering the fun. Expect s’mores, festive drinks and plenty of photo opportunities throughout the grounds as well as enough beauty to give the gar den’s daytime good looks a run for their money. Tickets range from

‘Tis the season for Christmas Carol-ing at the Repertory eatre of St. Louis. | COURTESY THE REP

WEEK OF NOVEMBER 1723

ered. A rare Monday market, this exposition of autumn’s harvest will give you a glorious selection of fruits, veggies, nuts, jams, flow ers and all the other trimmings you need to adorn your table. The market runs from 8 a.m. until 7 p.m., so you can spend the entire day strolling, sampling and curat ing a perfect feast. For more infor mation, visit facebook.com/Col linsvilleILFarmersMarket.

TUESDAY 11/22

Sensory Friendly

$3 for the kiddos to $22 for nonmember adults, and the fun runs through Saturday, January 7.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

eah, you can drive real slow through Tilles Park (9551 Litzs inger Road) to view the Winter Wonderland light display that runs through Friday, December 30. But if you’re at all able, we recommend a walk through the lights. Nothing brings on holiday vibes faster than putting on all your winter gear, grabbing a ther mos of a hot drink and gawking at lights with your loved ones. There are over 100 displays in the park perfect for an unhurried winter stroll. Tickets are $8 to walk, $17 to 1 0 for carriage rides, and 15 to $135 for vehicles. Check winter wonderlandstl.com for details.

SUNDAY 11/20

Ticket to Ride

All aboard! There is a train de parting at midnight and heading to the North Pole Well, that’s the premise for the picture book (and

movie) The Polar Express. Now families can head out to Union Station (1820 Market Street, 314923-3900, stlpolarexpressride. com) and ride the Polar Express themselves. There are just a few modifications: The train does not depart at midnight. Instead, you can hop on at much more rea sonable times between 4:30 and 7:15 p.m. Monday through Thurs day and 4:30 to 8:30 p.m. on Fri days and Saturdays. The ride also doesn’t go to the North Pole. In stead, you take a loop and end up back at Union Station, but Santa does come on the train, and all the kids get cookies and hot chocolate while elves bring on Christmas cheer. The Polar Express runs Friday, November 18, to Friday, December 30. And just like in the book and movie, attendees are en couraged to wear their pajamas for the trip. Tickets are $35 to $95.

Group Run

Not every running race has to be a solitary slog through pain. It can be fun! And a collective activ ity! Imagine that! That’s what will happen on Sunday, November 20, at Tower Grove Park for the St. Louis Track Club Marathon Re lay. This isn’t your normal one-

person marathon. This is a relay race that fits all. Not feeling a full 26.2-mile race? That’s OK –– you can team up with three of your col lege buddies and finish it together. The race offers lots of options for people to participate. If you want, you can run it all by yourself. Or you can split the miles with up to four people. The race is divided into multiple groups, with age brackets ranging from 80 years of combined aging to 200-plus. People can also enter into a fam ily or corporate category. The race costs 0 total for a four-person team, $45 for two people, $35 for solo and 70 for virtual. For more information visit stlouistrackclub. com/marathon-relay.

MONDAY 11/21

Field Day

With Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, you might be a little stressed about how you’re going to stuff your cornucopia with the season’s bounty if you can’t make it to the farmers’ mar ket on a weekend. Thankfully, the Collinsville Farmers Market (128 St Louis Road, Collinsville, Il linois; 18-344-0222) has you cov

On the fourth Tuesday of each month, the Animal Protective As sociation (1705 South Hanley Road Brentwood, apamo.org) hosts a very special event for kids and ani mals alike. At the Sensory Friend ly Tuesday Tales event, kids and animals get to come together and enjoy meeting up for animalthemed story time. This free event features accommodations for chil dren who thrive in a calm setting — and the animals surely enjoy the quiet, peaceful time, too. The event is held in the APA’s Humane Education room, and masks are required for adults and recom mended for children age three and above. The event begins at 10:30 a.m. and is free to attend.

WEDNESDAY 11/23

Funny Ha Ha

Still figuring out whether you’re more of a music or a comedy person? Blue Strawberry (364 North Boyle Avenue, 314-251745, bluestrawberrystl.com/ show/detail/982) has you covered. The showroom and lounge in the Central West End invites you to the Dueling Pianos and Comedy Showcase at 8 p.m. to figure it out. Top St. Louis piano players and co medians Jeremy Genin and Nick Schlueter will showcase their mu sical and comedic talent in a duel that is sure to entertain lovers of music and comedy alike. Bar seat ing is 15, and table seating 20.

Have an event you’d like consid ered for our calendar? Email cal endar@riverfronttimes.com.n

e Anheuser-Busch Brewery’s stunning annual light show kicks o this week. | COURTESY PHOTO

Flock Here

Eat Crow’s fare is irreverent, decadent, delicious — and has real heart

Written by CHERYL BAEHR

Eat Crow

1931 South 12th Street, 314-934-1400. Mon.-Thurs. 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Bar remains open until 1:30 a.m. Mon.-Sat. and until midnight Sun.

Eat Crow serves a taco sal ad. It’s an observation that might otherwise go unsaid, were this a typical Tex-Mex, ground-beef-in-a-tortillabowl sort of thing. Eat Crow’s ver sion is nothing like that, but is in stead an actual salad of tacos. It’s the most literal, yet utterly ridicu lous interpretation of the form: mixed greens — garnished with diced tomatoes, cheddar cheese, chunky salsa, guacamole and avo cado ranch — provide a backdrop for seven mini-tacos. Filled with chicken and deep-fried to a gold en hue, these tortilla half-moons are placed around the inside edge of the bowl like a glorious crown. It’s downright regal.

This salad of tacos perfectly en capsulates the good-natured irrev erence that permeates Eat Crow, the sophomore effort from Eliza Coriell and Kenny Snarzyk, who own the beloved Maplewood res taurant and bar the Crow’s Nest. Joined in this venture by their kitchen manager, R.J. Marsh, the business partners opened the res taurant and bar in late July as a way to expand upon their success at the Crow’s Nest when it became apparent to them that they needed more space. Though they’d started talking about how to accommo date more people before March of 2020, once they reopened after a pandemic-induced, 11-month shutdown and were inundated with guests, they knew they need ed to act as soon as possible.

Expanding the Crow’s Nest’s footprint was not an option. Boxed in by storefronts on Maplewood’s main commercial drag, they had already added onto the back patio and saw no other way to increase

capacity there. Coriell, Marsh and Snarzyk realized their only option was to open a second location, so they started to look elsewhere and found the former Nadine’s Gin Joint on the western edge of Sou lard and got to work putting their unique stamp on the place.

That uniqueness is a big part of the draw. Like the Crow’s Nest, Eat Crow is outfitted in every kind of

Gen-X vintage tchotchke imagin able — something Snarzyk attri butes to his and Coriell’s soft spot for collecting what he calls “junk,” but what should actually be re ferred to as priceless treasure. Garbage Pail Kids cards are shel lacked into the bartop, a statue of E.T. wearing a cowboy hat stands watch over a section of the dining room, and a cardboard cutout of

Martin Lawrence greets patrons from his perch above the bar. The reason for his presence? The bar came with an old martini sign that they couldn’t remove, so they turned the last “i” into an excla mation point.

That sense of humor carries over to the menu, which, like the taco salad, is a collection of de lightful culinary absurdities. An entire section of the menu is dedi cated to various mac and cheese dishes, for instance, and each is as over-the-top as the next. The Hot Honey Mac tastes like the sort of thing you’d eat after a bad break up made you feel that there is no way you’d ever put on hard pants again. Trumpet-shaped campan elle noodles, gilded with luxurious Gouda jalapeño cheese sauce, are topped with a Buffalo-sauce-coat ed, fried boneless chicken breast. Crumbles of Gorgonzola cheese and a drizzle of ranch dressing finish a dish that works surpris ingly well. The heat and vinegar of the Buffalo sauce slices through the mac-and-cheese decadence, giving something outrageously rich some unexpected balance.

If the Hot Honey Mac is what you eat when you are in the throes

Eat Crow’s menu features a mouth-watering selection of entrees and appetizers served with a side of good-natured irreverence. | MABEL SUEN

Kitchen Manager R.J. Marsh and co-owner Kenny Snarzyk helm the ship. | MABEL SUEN

EAT CROW

of despair, the Mac Stack might be the last thing you consume after the nukes have been released.

The dish uses the same pasta and cheese sauce base as the Hot Honey version, though this time, in place of Buffalo chicken, Marsh tops the creamy noodles with two smashburger patties, molten American cheese, zesty Frisco sauce and chopped dill pickle slices, which pierce through the dish with piquant vinegar. Like a Jersey Italian version of a slinger, this is so wrong, yet oddly so right.

Marsh leans into this irrever ence throughout the menu, but his less silly dishes show he does not have to rely on it. The pork poutine smartly uses wa e fries for its base, a decision that allows each bite to act like a shovel for scooping up bits of bacon, green onions, cheese and pork gravy.

His decision to deep-fry soft pret zel sticks results in a wonderfully rustic texture and concentrated malty flavor. Paired with his Gou da jalapeño cheese sauce, these are the quintessential accompani ment to an evening spent sitting at the bar drinking Busch and playing trivia.

Marsh’s Philly cheesesteak is in the conversation as one of the best in the area, not because it’s necessarily the most traditional, but because it’s just so damn good. Thinly shaved pieces of roast beef, so overstuffed they spill out from their hoagie roll, are covered in sauteed onions and peppers, cream cheese and Gouda jalapeño cheese sauce. The cheeses mingle to cre ate a gloriously creamy concoction that is more like a gooey dressing

that holds the meat together than a simple topping. It’s decadent, of course, but the interplay of the jalapeños in the cheese sauce and the green peppers give a little snap that permeates every bite.

If I’m choosing favorites, though, it’s the Albuquerque Turkey, a hy brid turkey club/turkey melt that has been haunting my dreams for a week. Thin slices of roasted turkey breast, piled roughly three inches thick onto buttery griddled sourdough, are accented with ba con strips, cheddar and pepperjack cheeses, a generous smatter ing of diced New Mexican green

chilis and deep-fried garlic mayo. The sandwich is delightfully goo ey, but the chili heat and bacon’s smoke provide a depth that keeps all the flavors in balance.

Coriell, Marsh and Snarzyk are clearly having fun with Eat Crow, but like with most comedic endeav ors, the jokes land because there is heart. All three worked their ways up at the Crow’s Nest before going on to their ownership roles: Coriell began as a server working one day per week; Snarzyk started out as a barback; and Marsh worked in the kitchen part time before tak ing on a kitchen manager role that

ultimately led to him becoming a partner in Eat Crow. Because of this, the restaurants have the feel of a collective — that everyone on staff knows they are taken care of, and in turn, they take care of each other. Those seven mini-tacos might try to kill your heart, but the kindness, sense of humor and good-naturedness will put it back together.

Among the o erings is the Albuquerque Turkey sandwich, a standout of the form. | MABEL SUEN

e bar’s eclectic decor will be familiar to anyone who has visited its owners’ Maplewood eatery, the Crow’s Nest. | MABEL SUEN

Eat Crow’s deep-fried so pretzel sticks pair well with Gouda jalapeño cheese sauce. | MABEL SUEN

SHORT ORDERS

[FIRST LOOK]

Hi Times

Cafe Culture

Benton Park Cafe will reopen under new owners this winter

Written by CHERYL BAEHR

Apopular neighborhood res taurant is getting a second lease on life thanks to new owners. Benton Park Cafe (2901 Salena Street), the 15-year-old south St. Louis break fast and lunch spot, has been bought by local entrepreneurs Elicia Eskew and Gavin Haslett, two longtime patrons of the res taurant who look forward to car rying forth its legacy. Though no firm opening date has been set, the business partners hope to re open the restaurant sometime this winter, hopefully no later than January.

“This has always been a place that I’ve loved,” Haslett says. “I think it’s a great little restaurant and a great location, and it was al ways a nice place to go and grab some food. I really liked it, and when it closed [in April] for the renovation, I thought, ‘OK, let’s see what happens,’ but as time went on, I kept thinking to myself that it wasn’t reopening. It just so happened that me and my busi ness partner had been looking to invest money into small business

es locally, so we got in touch with the former owner. It just meshed beautifully with what me and my partner wanted to do, and every thing just fell into place.”

According to Haslett, Benton Park Cafe’s previous owner and cofounder, Jessica Lenzen, had every intention of reopening the restaurant after she closed it for renovations this past April. How ever, as she kept getting further and further along in the process — and further removed from the daily grind of running a restau rant — she realized that she was ready to hand off the business to someone else. Eskew and Haslett seemed like the right people for the job, not simply because of their business savvy, but also because of their genuine affection for the place. After a brief negotiation period, the three finalized their agreement about two months ago, with Lenzen agreeing to help the new owners during the transi tion to ensure that the spirit of the place lives on.

Haslett could not be happier about having Lenzen’s support.

“We want to bring back the same identity that the place had before it closed,” Haslett says. “We loved what they were doing before so much, so why change it? It’s a success, so we want to keep going with that.”

Along those lines, Haslett em phasizes that he and Eskew have no plans for major changes to Benton Park Cafe. Renovations, which began under Lenzen, are mostly back-of-house infrastruc ture changes that guests will not necessarily notice. Out front,

patrons can expect a fresh coat of paint and new floors, but the overall feel of the place will re main unchanged. Haslett spe cifically mentions how much he always loved the works of local artists displayed on the restau rant’s walls and his commitment to keeping that going.

As for the food, longtime Benton Park Cafe fans can rest assured that Eskew and Frantzen plan on re opening with essentially the same menu that was served during Len zen’s tenure. Though they may add a new dish or take off an item that did not sell well, guests can expect the same food they have come to love over the years. This includes Park Avenue Coffee products, which Haslett notes were a staple of his many meals at the cafe.

Another important fixture that will remain at the restaurant is the photo of the late John Caton, who cofounded Benton Park Cafe with Lenzen in 2007. Caton, who passed away in June of 2020, re mained one of the restaurant’s guiding forces even after his death, and Haslett feels strongly that he and Eskew have a duty to honor his legacy as they serve as stewards of what he created in this new chapter.

“I told Jess when we were sitting down talking about this that I hope she doesn’t mind, but we want his picture to stay right where it is because he belongs here,” Has lett says. “This was his passion project, and when he passed, she wanted to keep it going. We want to keep it going as well by remem bering his legacy and continuing to build on it.” n

A Little Hi brings that Hi-Pointe Drive-In magic to Ballwin

Written by CHERYL BAEHR

Ballwin residents can now get a taste of Hi-Pointe Drive-In closer to home, albeit as a pint-sized version of the brand. A Little Hi (15069 Man chester Road, Ballwin; 636-220-7176), a spinoff of the popular burgers-and-shakes spot, opened on October 23, promising big Hi-Pointe flavors in a smaller space.

“This has been an idea that has been in my partner Mike’s [Johnson] head for a while,” says co-owner Ben Hillman. “Part of it is that we wanted to focus on what we are really best at, and that’s really awesome burgers. Also, we really loved the name.”

Hillman, who co-owns A Little Hi, HiPointe Drive-In and Chicken Out with his business partner and Sugarfire Smoke house founder Mike Johnson, says that this particular location felt serendipitous. The day he and Johnson finally decided to move forward with the idea for A Little Hi, they were driving down Manchester Road and saw that the former P’sghetti’s stand alone spot was available. Both the feel of the building and the location felt right for what they were trying to do with A Little Hi, so they immediately looked into taking over the building. Within two days, it was theirs.

The pair and their team have trans formed the former casual Italian restaurant into a vibrant, whimsical spot that matches the spirit of the brand. The small, counter-service space is painted in red, blue and a pale yellow, and nostalgic knickknacks decorate the order counter. The seating area consists of a handful

Benton Park Cafe, a longtime neighborhood staple, has new owners but the same vibe. | VIA GOOGLE MAPS

A Little Hi brings the same great burgers to a smaller setting. | SARAH LOVETT

A LITTLE HI

of booths and tables, though guests can also dine outside under the cheeky eye of a vintage, pompadoured Big Boy statue at one of the several patio tables. The res taurant also offers a drive-thru for those who want to get their burgers on the go.

Hillman sees A Little Hi as not simply a way to bring the Hi-Pointe Drive-In brand to west county; he believes the concept makes it possible for him and Johnson to expand to other markets around the country, as this smaller and more nimble type of restaurant is easier to replicate.

“We wanted to be more flexible with our expansion and wanted to be able to go into smaller spaces that are focused on takeout and speed,” Hillman says. “That meant paring our menu down to the greatest hits.”

As for those greatest hits, diners at A Little Hi can expect Hi-Pointe Drive-In’s

signature smash burger, its Frisco Melt, the outstanding Belgian-style fries and shakes such as the Jungle Love Ore-Oreo and Raspberry Cheesecake. Hillman and Johnson also promise a rotating menu of over-the-top specials, such as the Fat and the Furious, which pairs a double cheese burger with a Wagyu hot dog, fried mac and cheese, and a special sauce.

“We will really push our creativity with specials,” Hillman says.

Though they are not ready to announce exactly where they will be headed to next, Hillman teases that there are additional A Little Hi restaurants on the horizon. Between these smaller-scale spinoffs and the original, he and Johnson will have a suite of options to choose from as they move forward in developing their brand.

“I think the sky is the limit with HiPointe,” Hillman says. “The goal is to rep resent St. Louis on a national stage. I think we have the creativity, the environment and the team to make that happen.” n

Ice Palace

Grab your bougiest pals: A ski chalet experience is opening at Le Méridien

Written by ROSALIND EARLY

Dine and Dash

Welcome Neighbor STL brings back drive-thru Supper Club

Written by ROSALIND EARLY

Welcome Neighbor STL hosted an Afghan Drive-Thru event at STL Foodworks (408 North Sarah Street) on November 12, the first time the local nonprofit has offered its signature experience since this past summer.

Back in 2017, Welcome Neighbor STL, which supports area refugees and immigrants, started hiring refugee chefs to cook an international meal. Proceeds from the meal would go primarily to the cooks, with just 10 percent of the money going to cover the cost of the food. The Supper Club raised $390,903 over the

course of 201 events.

In 2020, Supper Club shut down, but not for long. Welcome Neighbor shifted to a drive-thru model to keep the fundraiser going.

Last Saturday, for only $35, patrons received an authentic Afghan lunch that included bolani, a popular flatbread with vegetable stuffing; kabuli pulao, a bas mati rice cooked with onion, saffron, black pepper, cardamom, coriander and cumin and topped with raisins, nuts and julienne carrots; and lola kebab, a minced beef dish with green chili, tomato, corian der and cumin. The lunch also included mantu, or Afghan dumplings filled with lentils and other goodies and drizzled with a yogurt and tomato sauce; ashak, a pasta filled with scallions, leeks and cilan tro; andgosh e-fil, a sweet pastry dough also known as elephant’s ear.

Welcome Neighbor will also offer an Afghan cooking class on Saturday, December 3, so that you can host your own Afghan supper.

Plus, be on the lookout for international cookies from Syria, Morocco and Afghanistan this holiday season — also from Welcome Neighbor. n

For the bougiest among us, Le Méridien St. Louis Clayton (7730 Bonhomme Avenue, Clayton; 314-863-0400) has a Chalet Pop-Up Bar that started last Friday and will run through Sunday, February 26. It’s a time of year the hotel is branding as the “La Fête season.”

“The La Fête season is a time to embrace the winter season tradi tions, which center around cel ebrations, so we want to transport guests to the magic of a European ski holiday in downtown Clay ton,” says Andrew Hargis, general manager of Le Méridien St. Louis Clayton. “The objective is to bring the glamour of traveling through Europe during the holidays to the Midwest.”

It’s the perfect experience for people who want the après-ski fun without all the pesky skiing.

The event, as you might expect of something being held at a lux ury hotel, is extremely bougie (or, to say it another way, expensive). The weekend-only pop-up trans

forms the hotel’s rooftop bar into a chalet evocative of European ski holidays full of wood pergo las, fire pits and warm alcoholic drinks. There will also be a tem porary curling rink that guests can rent for $50 per hour. At the chalet, guests can get bites such as baked Brie and pork belly bro chette along with cocktails such as bourbon hot toddies and mulled wine.

For a more private experience, there’s a Chalet Room, which is modeled after a classic ski lodge. You’ll have access to a private out door patio as well as the chalet pop-up on the rooftop. The rental costs $500 per hour and includes access to the curling rink. The ex perience is limited to groups of 10 or less and comes with 10 beers and two bottles of champagne.

The curling rink and Chalet Room can be reserved via Open Table. (Le Méridien is working to fix the Open Table system, which currently says that the curling rink is $50 per hour per person. It is just $50 per hour, and the Cha let room is $500 per hour for up to 10 people, not $250 per person per hour. If you have questions, call 314-863-0400.)

For big private events (up to 150 guests) there’s the Apres Ski Expe rience, which includes a private bartender, access to the curling rink and a light menu of noshes.

Le Méridien is also offering ho tel packages, a specialty coffee at its Café la Vie and a special inroom music experience in part nership with Takashima Record Bar throughout the winter. n

e Chalet Room brings high-class ski-lodge style to St. Louis. | COURTESY PHOTO

Cooks from Dubai stand with their Supper Club meals. | VIA WELCOME NEIGHBOR STL

ST. LOUIS STANDARDS

A Family Empire

Cheap, delicious eats and amazing murals have made Mi Ranchito a beloved University City spot

Written by ROSALIND EARLY

Mi Ranchito

887 Kingsland Avenue, 314-863-1880

Established 2005

IIt’s lunchtime, and despite only opening 20 minutes ago, Mi Ranchito is already bustling. A large group of office workers are celebrating a birthday, po lice officers pop sunglasses on top of their heads as they trickle in. In a nearby booth, a young woman is showing pictures of a guy she went out with to her friends.

The beloved University City res taurant sometimes has a line before it even opens. It is known for being a place you can still get a lunch or dinner for an astonishingly good price, almost preternaturally swift service and its murals.

Ah, the Mi Ranchito murals. In one room, they depict fit, bronzed Aztec gods with toned abs. Some of the paintings would fit perfectly on the cover of a romance novel. In the main dining area, however, the murals feature a Mexican fam ily in traditional dress on a ranch.

Alicia Aguirre Jimenez, who runs the Mi Ranchito with her husband Andres Jimenez, says that those murals are of her grandmother’s ranch, where her mom grew up in Jalisco, Mexico.

“It’s supposed to represent fam ily,” she says. When you come into Mi Ranchito, Alicia wants “people to feel at home here.” And at the restaurant, cozy is the vibe. It’s in formal, unpretentious and has a menu full of comfort food. It’s fit ting since Mi Ranchito is part of a legacy of family restaurants.

The Aguirres are a family of res taurateurs. After moving to Vir ginia from California, Alicia’s ma ternal uncle opened El Ranchito, a Mexican restaurant that drew on the dishes her family had grown up making and eating in Mexico on

grandma’s ranch.

“Coming from big families, [my parents] always had to make food for everyone,” Alicia says. And when the restaurant opened in Virginia, her uncle also developed some recipes. El Ranchito became “a mixture of several different recipes from different family and friends in Mexico,” Alicia explains.

El Ranchito didn’t take off right away. “There were no Mexican restaurants in that town in Vir ginia,” Alicia says. For people who had barely heard of a quesadilla, some of the dishes on the menu were exotic because they came di rectly from Jalisco. For example, the carnitas — tender, perfectly seasoned pork tips that come with rice, guacamole salad, pico de gallo, jalapeño, lime and tor tillas — is a Jalisco dish that few had encountered before. Now, the dish (which is also in St. Louis) is popular, but it took people a while to give it a try.

Still, Alicia’s father, Jos Aguirre, soon followed his brother-in-law to Virginia and opened Mi Ranchito in 1990. Despite the similar names, both El Ranchito and Mi Ranchito are still in operation.

Alicia estimates that her family owns above two dozen restaurants

throughout the country, including in North Carolina and Missouri. Not all of them are named Mi Ranchito (or El Ranchito), and the opening of Mi Ranchito in St. Louis was not a foregone conclusion. When the idea for St. Louis’ Mi Ranchito started, Alicia actually was working on another restaurant with another family: her husband’s.

Andres Jimenez has a lot in common with his wife. They met in Jalisco on vacation. Their par

ents share a hometown, and both are steeped in the restaurant in dustry. Andres’ family owns San Jose in South Carolina, as well as restaurants in Atlanta. After the two met in the late 1990s, Alicia and Andres carried on a long-dis tance relationship for a number of years as they helped their par ents with their respective restau rants. After marrying in 2000, Ali cia started helping her husband with his family’s business.

Mi Ranchito’s iconic mural art is just part of its enduring charm. | ANDY PAULISSEN

Owners Alicia Aguirre and Andres Jimenz both come from restaurateur families. | ANDY PAULISSEN

One charge? To see about ex panding San Jose into St. Louis.

Both families will visit cities to see how many Mexican restaurants already exist there. If they see a dearth, they will consider expand ing. Back in the early 2000s, St. Lou is was ripe for a Mexican restau rant. Alicia and her husband saw the space that is now Mi Ranchito in early 2005. At the time, it was raw space in a newly built strip mall.

Andres’ uncle was offered the

storefront for his restaurant but passed. Andres and Alicia decided to take the plunge and open a place of their own.

“I was working at age 12 helping my parents in the restaurant,” Ali cia recalls, “And we felt Mi Ranchito felt more cozy and more inviting.” So when it came time to pin down a concept, she went with her fam ily’s Mi Ranchito. But both of their fathers, both named Jos , helped with the restaurant, particularly

with the recipes.

Alicia says things started slow, but soon the Wash crowd and families looking for an inexpensive dinner started showing up. “When weekends weren’t weekends any more, and we were busy at all times,” Alicia says, “I knew we were going to make it.”

Then wait times started getting out of hand, and Alicia and Andres knew they had to expand. Space was still available in the strip mall,

so the restaurant added on a “par ty” room to seat large groups.

With the addition came the mu rals. Alicia’s family had added them to El Ranchito, so she wanted them in her place. She often draws from her family’s restaurant for ideas.

“If we see something is work ing out over there, and I go try it out when I visit, I’m like, ‘Hey, can I have the recipe to this?’” Alicia says. The St. Louis restaurant will also share recipes that prove popu lar with the other locations.

With the newly expanded Mi Ranchito in place and business doing well, Alicia and Andres con sidered opening another restau rant, but after the pandemic hit, they were grateful they hadn’t. Staffing shortages, a new to-go system and now inflation have hit the restaurant hard. Alicia says Mi Ranchito strives to keep prices low because “we want someone to get a good meal at a good price,” but it’s been difficult.

While they didn’t expand Mi Ranchito, Alicia and Andres did buy a friend’s restaurant, Tequila Mexi can Restaurant near Arnold. An dres’ brothers run it. Is it the start of Alicia’s Missouri branch of the family empire? She’s not sure, but her college-aged daughter works as a hostess in the summers, and her six-year-old has a Mi Ranchito shirt she wears to the restaurant because she likes to think she’s on staff. So the restaurant gene seems to be running in the family, which is good because that’s what Mi Ranchito is all about.

“We try to provide friendliness,” Alicia says.

ICONIC PEOPLE, PLACES & DISHES THAT ANCHOR STL’S FOOD SCENE

Mi Ranchito’s kitchen always has something delicious cooking. | ANDY PAULISSEN Vidal Cruz, the lead chef, makes sure everything is prepared just right. | ANDY PAULISSEN

Mi Ranchito’s Burrito California is a standout on the restaurant’s menu. | ANDY PAULISSEN

REEFERFRONT TIMES

[WEED LAWS]

Missouri Says Yes to Legal Weed

Written by SARAH FENSKE

Legalized recreational canna bis has officially found favor with the majority of Missouri voters.

Pot Shots

As Missouri legalizes weed, it’s time we criminalize weed culture

Written by DANIEL HILL

No matter which way you slice it, it’s been an exciting week for Missouri-based fans of moving slow and being hungry, as 53 percent of midterm election voters ap proved a constitutional amend ment legalizing recreational weed in the Show-Me State.

While there were some dis agreements among pro-marijua na factions — with some fretting that the measure would enshrine the state’s controversial licensing process into something of a mo nopoly while others argued “let’s do it anyway, I want some weed” — the dust has now settled and the people have spoken: Canna bis will be legal in Missouri going forward.

That’s all well and good, and even Amendment 3’s critics have to admit that not jailing people over a plant is a step in the right direction. But with that hurdle

finally cleared, it is time that we tackle the next big issue on the legal-weed horizon. That’s right: It is time we finally criminalized weed culture.

Since time immemorial, weed culture has been an albatross around the neck of the noble act of consuming cannabis. We’ve all had to endure a conversation with a dreadlocked white guy wearing a drug rug about how all the world’s problems could be solved if everyone just took a toke, bro. Each and every one of us has known that one person who makes a big show out of smoking weed at 20 past 4:00 on any given day, as if time itself were not an entirely manmade construct.

For that matter, we’ve all known plenty of pseudo-intel lectual goofball dorks who like to get high and pontificate on the nature of time, perhaps even writing in an article for a local alt-weekly that it’s nothing more than “an entirely manmade con struct” or some stupid shit like that. It’s all so very insufferable, and in a perfect world — a world that we are capable of creating — it would be banned.

Those “Interstate 420” shirts? Banned. Blacklight posters cov ered in pot leaves and aliens and shit? Extremely cool, but still banned. The band Sublime? Ille gal now; sorry, Rome.

There will, of course, be room for some interpretation of our

new anti-weed-culture laws. We are not tyrants, after all. In keep ing, possession of a bong is not, in and of itself, a criminal act — bongs can be useful tools in the hands of responsible grownups. But any bong sporting a depic tion of, say, a glassy-eyed Rick fist-bumping a stoned Morty will net you a felony — no exceptions.

Dispensaries can still have 4/20 deals — who doesn’t love a deal? — but they can no longer have them on April 20. Pick another day; we now celebrate the anniversary of Louis Pasteur and Claude Bernard disproving the theory of spontane ous generation on this one. Man, that Pasteur sure was a talent.

It’s likely true that criminalizing weed culture will not put a stop to it, and the worst offenders will be simply driven underground to partake in their odious habits in secret. That’s fine — out of sight, out of mind. They can hold meet ings at Spencer Gifts or something; we can leave them that. Hopefully the craft-beer guys join ’em.

As for the rest of us, we’re step ping forward into a brave new world, one where the masses are free to consume our happinessinducing drug of choice without the attendant juvenile baggage that comes with it. We are hoist ing our Rickless bongs to the sky and refusing to live in shame any longer.

After all, we’re adults, damn it. It’s time we start acting like it. n

Amendment 3, the initiative legalizing recreational use of mar ijuana, won 53 percent of the vote in last week’s midterm. The mea sure fell behind early in the night, but continued to gain steadily as election returns were tallied.

The amendment eliminates bans on marijuana sales, manu facturing and consumption for adults in Missouri. It also allows for expungement of past nonviolent marijuana offenses and enshrines in state law a 6 percent tax on cannabis sales.

The vote came just four years after Missouri voters over whelmingly passed a constitu tional amendment approving medical marijuana. The rollout of the medical-marijuana pro gram engendered numerous lawsuits and allegations of an unfair playing field — and crit ics charged that Amendment 3 doubled down on the same set of winners who benefited from the medical plan. St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones and the Missouri Democratic Party both gave the measure a thumbs down, in part over concerns that minori ties would be limited to “microlicenses” even as the same ben eficiaries of licenses for medical pot would be set up to cash in much more lucratively.

But others insisted that it was high time Missouri legalize a substance that other states were increasingly opening up to taxa tion and regulation — and re move laws that had a dispropor tionate effect on people of color. Supporters included the ACLU of Missouri and the Missouri AFLCIO. n

ese three guys are clearly in violation of our proposed new law. | VIA FLICKR/CANNABIS CULTURE

CULTURE

Dark Secrets

Written by JESSICA ROGEN

It’s dark and cold. Big flecks of snow fall onto the faces of the men racing on horses over snowy ground. Some look ahead, seemingly resolute, but one looks back uneasily.

Almost immediately, the source of his fear surfaces, but not in the direction he was looking. Ahead of the men, cloaked figures float in the air and one, whose head is a horned skull, holds the limp body of a woman and proclaims that there will be atonement. The men do pay, and blood spurts into the air and onto the ground. In the next panel, a red moon hangs in the background.

All that action happens within the first few pages of the new horror graphic novel The Atonement Bell Book 1, the first issue in a four-part series that hit shelves this week. Readers might expect that ethos of that classic scene to continue. But flip the page, and it’s 2022.

A mother and son drive in their green sedan on I-70 east toward St. Louis while the Arch peeks out from the cityscape in the distance. The mom, Kayla, is anxious about visiting relatives over the holidays, and the boy, Jake, tries to relieve tension by teasing her about burning cinnamon rolls.

“At the center of it, it’s about the lengths we’re willing to go through to defend those we love. Is there such a thing as going too far? And the role that religion plays in all of it,” says Jim Ousley, the graphic novel’s co-creator.

The book follows Kayla and Jake as they visit St. Louis and their relatives for the holidays in the wake of Jake’s dad recently having passed away. They head to Jake’s aunt’s house, where we meet his cousin and his friend, maybe girl-

friend, who works in a Bosnian market owned by her family.

One could almost be fooled into thinking that this is going to be more of a slice-of-life story than one filled with horror. But as the story progresses, Ousley drops in sinister moments, such as a nun sniffing Jake’s bloody tissue, that pay off by the end of the issue.

“They stumble upon one of the darkest secrets in St. Louis, and it involves ghosts,” he says. “It’s very exciting. It’s one of the most enjoy able things I’ve ever worked on be fore — certainly ever written.”

The interactions among characters and the setup all read emotionally authentic, and that authenticity is helped along by recognizable touches of St. Louis. Those range from the red-brick bungalow the aunt lives in, to the layout of the Bosnian market, to the accuracy of the exit signs on the highway.

From the very start of the creation process, Ousley, who grew up in Calverton Park near Ferguson and still lives in the area, wanted the novel to be centered on St. Louis. The project, which began as a screenplay, was always going to be about the history of St. Louis and the racial tensions in the city.

Though he’s written other horror series, this is the first that’s set in his hometown. By placing

it here, he hopes to represent the city in a way that it’s not always portrayed in stories or the media. Although he drew heavily upon his own experience, Ousley also researched different communities and cultures within the city for the project.

“It was also really fun for me to just learn more,” he says. “When you’re writing, part of the fun is discovery, you know, not only discovering characters, but discovering what makes them tick and where they come from.”

Exploring his city through the horror genre made sense, Ousley says. For one, there’s a strong com munity of horror fans here and plenty of haunted houses. Then there’s the darkness in St. Louis’ history.

Ousley believes that the horror genre is an effective medium to explore that type of darkness and did so, in part, by creating a mythology that incorporates the real history of this place.

“My whole purpose with that was to show how something that seems innocuous that happened a long time ago was actually extremely horrific and tragic for other people,” he says. “Horror has always been really, really beneficial to people who want to express and sort of research and navigate social issues.”

Ousley got his start writing

graphic novels thanks to local pub lisher Ink and Drink Comics, even tually signing a publishing deal for a series called Butcher Queen with Red 5 Comics, which is also putting out The Atonement Bell. Though he wrote the script for the new series, he didn’t make the comic alone. Tyler B. Ruff created the art, Benjamin Sawyer did the color, Ed Dukeshire lettered and everyone was edited by Jason Green.

Ousley feels privileged to be able to put the project out, and he’s already begun getting some good feedback on it. He points to a preview event at the San Diego Comic-Con. “It was really fun,” he recalls, saying the best part was having people buy the issue and then come back complaining that they would have to wait until December for issue two. “When you work on something for a long time, and you get that kind of feedback, it just fills you up, man. ou know, it’s just the best thing in the world.” n

You can pick up The Atonement Bell at area comic shops beginning Wednesday, November 16. Jim Ou sley and others will be holding a launch event at 6 p.m. on Saturday, November 19, at The Wizard’s Wagon (6178 Delmar Boulevard, 314-862-4263, thewizardswagon. square.site) hosted by destroythe brain.com.

Jim Ousley’s new horror graphic novel e Atonement Bell asks what you’d do to protect those you love

Jim Ousley is the co-creator of a new horror graphic novel that is set in St. Louis. | COURTESY PHOTO

Ska’s Nine Lives

Skank it up at O Broadway this week with Philadelphia quartet Catbite

Written by DAVID VON NORDHEIM

Catbite w/ the Centaurettes and Fight Back Mountain 8 p.m. Wednesday, November 16. Off Broad way, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $13. 314-498-6989.

On Wednesday, November 16, Off Broadway will host Phil adelphia ska-punk quartet Catbite, along with St. Lou is bands the Centaurettes and Fight Back Mountain. Cat bite was last in St. Louis in June, when the band opened for prolific pop-punk artist Jeff Rosenstock at Blueberry Hill. The band has been consistently touring since April 2022, spending much of the year supporting Streetlight Manifesto and Anti-Flag on their respective national and international tours. Catbite’s upcoming St. Louis show is the third of four headlining events the band will be playing before rejoining Streetlight Mani festo for the remainder of the lat ter band’s fall 2022 tour.

Catbite is currently signed to Bad Time Records, a label special izing in independent ska and skapunk artists. Bad Time is owned and operated by Mike Sosinski, the guitarist and lead singer for the band Kill Lincoln.

“I started Bad Time Records in 2018 after being frustrated by the lack of support the current generation of ska-punk bands re ceived from general music com munities,” Sosinski writes on Bad Time’s website. “Everyone seemed to think it was a bad time for the genre. … Like many before me, I knew the only way forward was to do it myself.”

Tim Hildebrand, guitarist and backing vocalist for Catbite, has a close relationship with Sosinki, both being veterans of the East Coast ska-punk scene (Kill Lincoln is based in Washington, D.C.).

“Once we started Catbite, he reached out immediately,” Hil

debrand tells RFT. “He really liked what we were doing and offered to put our music out. It’s been great watching us and the label grow side by side.”

Catbite is currently touring in support of its 2021 album Nice One, which was released through Bad Time. The band’s members cite art ists such as the Specials, the Select er and Elvis Costello among their primary influences. Although not explicitly political in its songwrit ing, Catbite tries to strike a balance between “danceable, upbeat mu sic” and socially relevant lyrics.

“Our lyrics focus a lot on men tal illness and its acceptance in society,” Hildebrand says. “Pretty much all of our songs, lyrically, are stemming from times in our lives where we’re not exactly do ing OK. ... Normalizing talking about mental health is extremely important to us.”

Lead Catbite songwriter Britta ny Luna, who identifies as queer and Hispanic, “uses her lyrics to express a lot of pain and struggle with growing up as queer person of color,” Hildebrand adds.

Some of St. Louis’ more notable lovers of ska are eagerly awaiting Catbite’s stop in town, including Chelsea Bluebeat, DJ for the KDHX show Ska’s the Limit

“I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing Catbite yet, but as a livemusic fan and lover of ska music,

I’m looking forward to their show [this] Wednesday,” Bluebeat tells the RFT. “They’re one of the most active bands helping keep ska alive in 2022, and I’ve heard they put on a tremendous show.”

“The Midwest shows we’ve played have always been so much fun, with lots of energy from the crowd and super sweet people,” says Luna, lead vocalist for Cat bite. “That really gives us a boost of energy while we’re playing. It seems like people are genuinely happy and not afraid to be seen having a good time at a show!”

St. Louis indie-rock duo the Centaurettes is one of two local bands opening for Catbite, along with politically charged hardcore punk group Fight Back Mountain. Formed in 2018, the Centaurettes’ lineup consists of guitarist Derek Hibbard and bassist Bionca “Bia” Maldonado, who both share vo cal duties. The group was recently forced to downsize to a two-piece act while their drummer is recov ering from a knee injury, with live performances currently consist ing of Hibbard and Maldonado playing live guitar while backed up by pre-programmed drum and synthesizer tracks.

“We were one week away from going on our first tour and our drummer tore their ACL,” says Maldonado. “We ended up just getting a bunch of the master

MUSIC

tracks from the producers we worked with [and working these into the live performances].”

“We added all kinds of synths and electronic shit — the drum kit is real studio drums mixed with elec tronic drums, so it all sounds way more electrified,” adds Hibbard.

Both Hibbard and Maldonado feel like the change has been a positive one, allowing them to create a more “orchestral” sound in their music and a unique live experience.

“It’s punk with soul, with jazz, with blues, with hip-hop. We like to call it ‘pastel punk,’” says Mal donado, who is also a classically trained cellist.

The band recently returned from its first headlining tour throughout the Midwest, playing cities like Kansas City, Minneapo lis, Milwaukee and Memphis.

“A lot of our roots are DIY; we started by playing in basements and people’s garages,” explains Maldonado, who is excited for the group’s increasing exposure, driven in part by a set at the 2022 SXSW festival. More recently the group played at Off Broadway in August, opening for Los Angeles garage rock band Starcrawler. De spite these recent successes, the duo is committed to playing an ac tive role in the St. Louis DIY punk scene. They are known for hosting shows with other local artists in the basement of their Hazelwood home (a venue that they dubbed “Wolfpussy”).

Hibbard and Maldonado are both excited to be opening for Cat bite, a band they greatly respect.

“They’ve worked extremely hard and done so many amazing things,” says Maldonado. “They’ve done so many benefit shows and charity shows, they’ve traveled on their own dime and really, truly grinded for the following that they have. They’re finally being rec ognized for hard work and talent, and just being good-ass people.”

The members of Catbite, mean while, are equally excited for their St. Louis stop. When asked what his sales pitch for the show would be, Hildebrand had this to say: “Do you like music? Do you like high energy on stage and in the crowd? Soulful singing? Kick ass vocal harmonies? Ska! No Horns! Guitar and keyboard so los that will make you go ‘whoa’! That’s a Catbite show!” n

Philly’s Catbite is keeping the ska-punk sound alive in 2022. | VIA ARTIST BANDCAMP

OUT EVERY NIGHT

Each week, we bring you our picks for the best concerts of the next seven days! To submit your show for con sideration, visit https://bit.ly/3bgnwXZ. All events are subject to change, espe cially in the age of COVID-19, so do check with the venue for the most up-to-date information before you head out for the night. And, of course, be sure that you are aware of the venues’ COVID-safety requirements, as those vary from place to place, and you don’t want to get stuck outside because you forgot your mask or proof of vaccination. Happy showgoing!

THURSDAY 17

ANDY COCO’S NOLA FUNK AND R&B REVUE: 8:30 p.m., $10. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & THE RHYTHM RENEGADES: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

DAVID RANALLI: 7:30 p.m., $25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

DREW LANCE: 4 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ERICA SOULSTICE: 8:30 p.m., $10-$30. The Dark Room, 3610 Grandel Square inside Grandel Theatre, St. Louis, 314-776-9550.

GEOFFREY SEITZ: 5:30 p.m., free. Missouri History Museum, 5700 Lindell Blvd., St. Louis, 314-746-4599.

LAMINATE: w/ ORUÃ, No Antics, Unknown & Sailing 8 p.m., $10. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

MATT MURTAUGH: w/ Emily Zell, Nathan Orton, Rob Durham 8 p.m., free. Steve’s Hot Dogs, 3145 South Grand, St. Louis.

MERSIV: 9 p.m., $20-$25. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

MERSIV: w/ VCTRE, SuperAve 9 p.m., $20-$25. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

MID COAST COMEDY SERIES: 8 p.m., $12-$16. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

PAVILION SEXTET: w/ Lonely Procession, 18&Counting, Brett Underwood 8 p.m., $5. Platypus, 4501 Manchester Avenue, St. Louis, 314-359-2293.

PUSCIFER: w/ Night Club 8 p.m., $39.50-$74.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500.

ROBERT NELSON & RENAISSANCE: 8 p.m., $15$20. Joe’s Cafe, 6014 Kingsbury Ave, St. Louis.

FRIDAY 18

ASHLEY BYRNE: w/ Jr. Clooney, Yuppy 9 p.m., $9.50-$13. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

BILLY DON BURNS: 8 p.m., $20. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313.

THE BOAT SHOW JAM BAND: 7:30 p.m., free. Steve’s Hot Dogs, 3145 South Grand, St. Louis.

CASTING CROWNS: w/ Cain, Anne Wilson 7 p.m., $20-$125. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St. Charles, 636-896-4200.

CHAMPIAN FULTON AND STEPHEN FULTON: 7:30 p.m., $20-$25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

COUNTERPARTS: w/ SeeYouSpaceCowboy 7:30 p.m., $20-$40. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

DAVID A. ARNOLD: 7:30 p.m., $35.50-$55.50. The Pag eant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

DOGTOWN RECORDS PRESENTS: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis,

Ed Schrader’s

Music Beat

w/ Boreal Hills, Horse Magik

8 p.m. Friday, November 18. e Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway. $15. 314-328-2309. From their start as a lone a cappella post-punker screaming into the void to the full band’s marked growth into a jubilant dance force, one constant has remained throughout the 13 years of Ed Schrader’s Music Beat: the titular singer’s fuzz-soaked voice echoing through the Aether. “Sermon” from the 2012 album Jazz Mind was featured on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim Block as

314-436-5222.

DROPKICK MURPHYS: 8 p.m., $39.50-$79.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500.

ED SCHRADER’S MUSIC BEAT: 8 p.m., $15. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

GUCCI MANE: 8 p.m., $57.50-$87.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE HAPPY FITS: 7 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

JASON COOPER & THE COOP DEVILLES: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

KELLER WILLIAMS: 8 p.m., $47-$87. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

KEVIN BUCKLEY: 4 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

MOM’S KITCHEN: 9 p.m., $12. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

MUSCADINE BLOODLINE: w/ Ben Chapman 8 p.m., $20. The Hawthorn, 2225 Washington Avenue, St. Louis.

PAVILION SEXTET: w/ Jim McGowin, Stef Russell 10 p.m., $5. O’Connell’s Pub, 4652 Shaw Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-6600.

STEVE SWELL QUARTET: w/ Norway Guests 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St.

part of a short film by Alan Resnick, and the song still stands out as a defining work for the Baltimore-based indie group that has since shed its lo-fi aesthetic. Ed Schrader’s Music Beat released Riddles in 2018 in collaboration with Dan Deacon, showing an evolution in songwriting, complexity and textural diversity with lush instrumentation and production. A similar jump in was made earlier this year when Nightclub Daydreaming was released through the Carpark label in March. In a subtle pivot toward disco, Ed Schrader’s Music Beat in 2022 carves out heady dancefloor explorations that

Louis, 314-498-6989.

VOCAL COMPANY FALL CONCERT: 7 p.m., $18. Center of Creative Arts (COCA), 524 Trinity Ave., University City, 314-725-6555.

WALTER PARKS & SWAMP CABBAGE: 8 p.m., $20-$25. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd., Maplewood, 314-560-2778.

WEST END JUNCTION: 7:30 p.m., $12. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

SATURDAY 19

120 MINUTES: 8:45 p.m., $5. Sky Music Lounge, 930 Kehrs Mill Road, Ballwin, 636-527-6909.

ALL ROOSTERED UP: noon, free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ANDY FRASCO & THE U.N.: 8 p.m., $22.50. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BEN JONES: 6:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

BLUE OCTOBER: 8 p.m., $37-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

CHAMPIONSHIP CIRCLE PRESENTS DELIVERANCE: w/ Retro Champ, the Greater Good 8 p.m., free. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

FUNKY BUTT BRASS BAND: 10 p.m., $12. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis,

toe the line between ’80s throwback and prescient future rock, where more deliberate choices have been made and little is left to chance or the imagination.

Winter Is Coming: Come hell or high water, the river city can count on Karl Frank to keep pumping out Boreal Hills tapes and CD-Rs. One of the reasons why we can call St. Louis a music city is because folks like Frank operate in the subterranean part of the indie scene in town, filling cramped rooms (such as the Sinkhole) with rock songs that are unmistakably cool. —Joseph Hess

314-621-8811.

IMMIGRANT SONG CONCERT: 7 p.m., $20. Webster University Community Music School, 535 Garden Ave., Webster Groves, 314-968-5939.

THE JAMES FAMILY: 8 p.m., $20. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JAMPACT: noon, $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-37 -5313.

JOEL CORRY: 10 p.m., $15-$400. RYSE Nightclub, One Ameristar Blvd, St. Charles.

MIKE EPPS: 8 p.m., TBA. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111.

THE MUSIAL AWARDS: 6:15 p.m., $10-$35. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

OVER HEAD DOG: 7 p.m., free. Wente’s, 18000 Chesterfield Airport Rd 1115, Chesterfield, MO 3005, Chesterfield, 3 -530-9994.

PUERTO RICAN FESTIVAL: 1 p.m., free. Urban Eats Cafe & Bakery, 3301 Meramec St., St. Louis, 314-558-7580.

STATE CHAMPS: w/ Hunny, Between You & Me, Young Culture 7:30 p.m., TBA. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

SUN ROOM: 8 p.m., $18/$20. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

SWAMP LION: w/ Extinctionism, Mindclot, The Vast 8 p.m., $10. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

Ed Schrader’s Music Beat. | VIA ARTIST BANDCAMP

THIRD SIGHT BAND: 11 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

TODD SNIDER: 8 p.m., $31-$41. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

VICKI LAWRENCE AND MAMA: A TWO-WOMAN SHOW: 8 p.m., $40-$80. Lindenwood University’s J. Scheidegger Center for the Arts, 2300 W. Clay St., St. Charles, 636-949-4433.

WENDY GORDON & RENEE SMITH: w/ Roland Johnson 3 p.m., $20. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

SUNDAY 20

ALASKA THUNDERFUCK: 8 p.m., $25. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

BLACK LIPS: w/ Bloodshot Bill 8 p.m., $20/$22. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

BLUEGRASS BRUNCH: w/ Yonder Eats 11 a.m., free. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

DREW LANCE: 2 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ERIC LYSAGHT: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

IMPROV TROUPE FALL PERFORMANCE: 2 p.m., $18. COCA - Center of Creative Arts, 6880 Wash ington Ave, St. Louis, 314-725-6555.

IN A TRANCE 2: A DRAG AND BALLROOM EXPERIENCE: 7 p.m., $7-$10. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

THE INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS: 8 p.m., $30/$35. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

KEVIN BUCKLEY AND FRIENDS: 10 a.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521.

LOVE JONES “THE BAND”: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

SKEET RODGERS & INNER CITY BLUES BAND: 3 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MONDAY 21

BIT BRIGADE PERFORMS MEGA MAN AND CASTLEVANIA: w/ Super Guitar Bros 8 p.m., $18. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

MACHINE HEAD: 8 p.m., $28-$49.50. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

MEN IN BLAZERS: 8 p.m., $30-$90. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway Oys ter Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THIRD SIGHT BAND: 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

TUESDAY 22

CLOAKROOM: 8 p.m., $15. The Sinkhole, 7423 South Broadway, St. Louis, 314-328-2309.

ETHAN JONES: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

MR. WENDELL: 5 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

OKTOBERFEST BEER CHOIR: 7 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521.

ST. LOUIS SOCIAL CLUB: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

WEDNESDAY 23

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & THE RHYTHM RENEGADES: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

COLT BALL: 3:30 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

FRIENDSGIVING: w/ Over Head Dog 6:30 p.m., free. 9 Mile Garden, 9375 Gravois Road, Affton, 314-390-2806.

HI POINTE SOUL REVUE: 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313.

New Music Circle presents: Steve Swell Quartet

8 p.m. Friday, November 18. O Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10 to $20. 314-498-6989.

Steve Swell began his lifelong exploration of the trombone at only 10 years old, but it wasn’t until he heard trombonist and composer Roswell Rudd that he knew which path he would take through a ca reer in music. Swell’s story is typical of a contemporary jazz musician — you know, the tale where a young kid hears the likes of Cecil Taylor or Anthony Braxton (two people Swell eventually worked with), which lights a slow-burning wick that influ ences decades of incredible albums and performances. Not only did Swell study under and collaborate with Rudd and other musicians he held in high-esteem, but he stands as a preeminent trombon ist in the landscape of contemporary and experimental jazz. Although Swell has toured and recorded with Buddy Rich

and Lionel Hampton, among other main stream artists, he swims comfortably in the undercurrent of experiential, impro vised music communities throughout the world, and holds status as a stalwart of the New York City jazz scene since 1975. Swell’s solo effort The Loneliness of the Long Distance Improviser is a good place to start, as the record shows that the pro lific collaborator can command an audio sensory overload all on his own. With the addition of several accomplished per formers, the Steve Swell Quartet offers an expressive palette with no real parallels in the jazz world, past or present. Who’s Next: Next month’s New Music Circle event features Matchess, the im mersive ambient project of Chicago-based singer and multi-instrumentalist Whitney Johnson. St. Louis sound artist Dail Cham bers will showcase her resonant and ex plorative work to round out the organiza tion’s last concert of 2022 at Off Broadway on December 10. —Joseph Hess

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

DREW SHEAFOR: Thu., Dec. 8, 5 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521.

EIGHTY-ONE: Fri., Dec. 30, 8:30 p.m., $10. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

ELEVATION NIGHTS: Tue., April 25, 7 p.m., $32.75-$102.75. Chaifetz Arena, 1 S. Compton Ave., St. Louis, 314-977-5000.

FOREIGNER: Wed., July 19, 7 p.m., $29.50$399.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

FRIENDSGIVING: W/ Over Head Dog, Wed., Nov. 23, 6:30 p.m., free. 9 Mile Garden, 9375 Gravois Road, Affton, 3143902806.

FRY PROJECT: Fri., Jan. 20, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313.

FUNKY BUTT BRASS BAND: Sat., Nov. 19, 10 p.m., $12. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THE HOOTEN HOLLERS: W/ Ryne Watts, Sat., Dec. 17, 9 p.m., $12-$16. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

JACK FISTER: Fri., Dec. 23, 6:30 p.m., $10-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

JAGS DOES DYLAN: BOB DYLAN TRIBUTE: Sat., Jan. 21, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. King shighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-37 -5313.

JERRY CANTRELL: Fri., March 24, 8 p.m., $29.50$79.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500.

JESSIE MURPH: Fri., March 31, 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

KARAOKE WITH SHAGGY SOUNDS: Thu., Jan. 5, 5 p.m., free. Fri., Jan. 6, 10 p.m., $10. Thu., Jan. 12, 5 p.m., free. Thu., Jan. 19, 5 p.m., free. Thu., Jan. 26, 5 p.m., free. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. King shighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-37 -5313.

KOE WETZEL: Sat., April 1, 7:30 p.m., $33-$78. Chaifetz Arena, 1 S. Compton Ave., St. Louis, 314-977-5000.

LANGHORNE SLIM: W/ Lilly Hiatt, Tue., Dec. 13, 8 p.m., $25-$30. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

LIZZO: Tue., April 25, 8 p.m., $96.50-$126.50. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

LOUIS TOMLINSON: Fri., June 9, 7 p.m., $39.50$99.50. Centene Community Ice Center, 750 Casino Center Dr, Maryland Heights.

LUKE COMBS: W/ Riley Green, Sat., June 17, 6 p.m., $54-$185. Busch Stadium, 700 Clark Ave, St. Louis, 314-345-9600.

MACHINE GIRL: Wed., Dec. 7, 7:30 p.m., $28$49.50. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

MID COAST COMEDY SERIES: Thu., Nov. 24, 8 p.m., $12-$16. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

HOUNDS: 8 p.m., $15/$20. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

JAKE’S LEG: 8 p.m., $10-$20. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

MR. BLUE SKY: A TRIBUTE TO ELO: 7 p.m., $25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

PING PONG TOURNAMENT: 6 p.m., free. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

PUNKSGIVING: A BENEFIT FOR OPERATION FOOD SEARCH: w/ Wes Hoffman & Friends, Modern Angst, the Chandelier Swing, Number One Sons 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

VOODOO BEATLES: 9 p.m., $12. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THIS JUST IN

105.7 THE POINT PRESENTS A TOAST TO JEFF: W/ The Rizzuto Show & Friends, Tue., Dec. 6, 7 p.m., $35-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

ANOTHER MESSED UP XMAS PARTY: W/ Frodo The Ghost & Sawblade, AZ The Fallen, Donnie Tzunami, Kommon Groundz, Lyght Strife, Madcountybeats, Rev Rust, Mr. Grean, RoNDouGH, Fri., Dec. 9, 7 p.m., $10-$15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

BRANDON LAKE: Sun., March 26, 7 p.m., $29.50-$100. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500.

COLT BALL: Wed., Nov. 23, 3:30 p.m., free.

MISSISSIPPI CLEAN: Fri., Jan. 27, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-37 -5313.

MURDER CITY PLAYERS: Fri., Dec. 2, 8 p.m., $12$16. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

NEW YEAR’S EVE 2023: W/ JTyme, DJ Arty J, Sat., Dec. 31, 7 p.m., $15-$300. Tin Roof St. Louis, 1000 Clark Ave, St. Louis, 314-240-5400.

OVER HEAD DOG: Sat., Nov. 19, 7 p.m., free. Wente’s, 18000 Chesterfield Airport Rd 1115, Chesterfield, MO 3005, Chesterfield, 3 -530-9994.

POLYPHIA: Sun., April 9, 7:30 p.m., $29.50. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

PONO AM: W/ Backwash, Tiger Rider, Sat., Nov. 26, 8 p.m., $10-$13. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

Omar Apollo. | NUNO MARTINS

Black Lips w/ Country Westerns, Bloodshot Bill

8 p.m. Sunday November 20. Blueberry Hill’s Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Boulevard. $20 to $22. 314-727-4444.

If there’s one thing you can count on when it comes to the Black Lips, it’s their unpredictability. Over the course of the last two decades, the chameleonic At lanta outfit has shapeshifted its sound from chaotic garage-punk to shimmering pop, from shit-kicking outlaw rock to coun try ballads, back and forth and up and down the spectrum to the point where genre tags have lost all meaning. The pri mary throughline is the group’s sense of psychedelic excess and hoolligan-esque mischief, its willingness to bend the rules until they break, only to then pick up the pieces and craft something new. The band’s latest, Apocalypse Love, tends to

the downright Lynchian in its surreality, its cover depicting a woman in white laid unconscious across the back of a horse over a backdrop of twinkling stars. Over its 13 tracks, the record runs the gamut from sinister glam to acoustic punk to pop excess and beyond, with a pile of maria chi horns, drum machines and theremins dumped out on top for good measure.

It’s the Black Lips’ 10th full-length studio album, written during COVID lockdowns while the band’s members were scattered across the country, a series of separate pieces subsequently stitched back togeth er into a whole that is appropriately evoc ative of the end of the world. It’s brash, it’s mischievous, it’s winkingly unserious while cutting straight to the heart of the matter. In short, it’s Black Lips.

Birds of a Feather: Opening the show will be Nashville twang-tinged rock act Country Westerns and Goner Records mainstay Bloodshot Bill. —Daniel Hill

STL SHOWCASE: W/ Stormrazor, Euphoria, Beaser, Dead Birds Can Fly, Fri., Dec. 2, 8 p.m., $5-$8. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

POP’S LOCAL SHOWCASE: W/ Holding Ground, Mental Fixation, Atlas On Fire, The Intrusion, Breezy Point, Sun., Dec. 4, 7 p.m., $5-$8. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720.

PUERTO RICAN FESTIVAL: Sat., Nov. 19, 1 p.m., free. Urban Eats Cafe & Bakery, 3301 Meramec St., St. Louis, 314-558-7580.

QUASI: Fri., March 24, 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER: Fri., Jan. 27, 8 p.m., $43-$56. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

SIR EDDIE C: W/ KV the Writer, Zado, Fri., Dec. 9, 9 p.m., $10-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

SLUSHII: Sat., Jan. 21, 10 p.m., $15-$400. RYSE Nightclub, One Ameristar Blvd, St. Charles.

SONREAL: Tue., March 28, 8 p.m., $25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

SPINE’S ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION: Sat., Nov. 26, 10 a.m., free. Spine Indie Bookstore & Cafe, 1976-82 Arsenal St., St. Louis, 314-925-8087.

THEORY OF A DEADMAN: W/ Skillet, Fri., March 10, 7 p.m., $39.50-$69.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500.

TREVOR NOAH: Fri., March 3, 8 p.m., $36.50$112. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

TRIXIE DELIGHT DUO: Fri., Jan. 13, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-37 -5313.

TYLER CHILDERS: W/ Marcus King, Fri., June 9, 7 p.m., $40.50-$100.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944.

UP ALL NIGHT: Sat., Jan. 28, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313.

VOODOO GRATEFUL DEAD: Sat., Dec. 31, 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

VOODOO JOHN HARTFORD: Fri., Dec. 16, 9 p.m., $15-$20. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

WHITE LIGHTER: Sat., Jan. 7, 5 p.m., $10. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 S. Kingshighway, 2nd floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313. n

Black Lips. | VIA ICM PARTNERS

Ace Case

BY DAN SAVAGE

Hey Dan: My ex-girlfriend and I had a good relationship, but the sex was bad. When we had sex, it would eventually become clear that nobody was going to climax, or that she was tired or bored, and we would stop. I decided to let her take the lead and stopped initiating. I began to feel like not even my emotional needs were being met and that’s when she re vealed what felt to her like the moth er of all secrets: she may be asexual. She said she felt a lot of shame and confusion about it and had been withdrawing for that reason.

We agreed to explore her sexual identity together and try new things that could potentially work for both of us he first time we tried it went horribly. I felt insecure and uncom fortable, and I ended things early, as she had so often done. She started initiating trying things when we went to bed and I kept it to cuddling, then went to the bathroom to finish myself off” after she fell asleep. She heard me come back to bed, asked what I was doing, and I told her the truth. She got out of bed, sad and an gry, and I tried to apologize but we never got past this.

Several months later, I’m still con fused. I feel guilty for rejecting her. At the same time, I don’t understand how what I did became such a deal breaker. I was raised in a religious home and spent a decade freeing myself from sexual shame and I feel like some of that work was undone here. Through the course of the re lationship — and particularly that fateful evening — I felt ashamed of my sexual desire for her, which was clearly much more intense than hers towards me. She’s an athlete with a perfect body, while I had been stress eating my way through the pandem ic, which contributed to my feeling undesirable.

I would like to move past my feel ings of guilt but I’m not sure how.

Healing Eludes Lesbian Ponder ing Messy End

“I don’t think HELPME should blame herself for this relationship ending,” said Ela Przybylo, “and she definitely shouldn’t think the breakup was the result of going to finish off in the bathroom that

one night.”

Przybylo, who is an Assistant Pro fessor of English, Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at Illinois State niversity, has identified at various points along the asexual spectrum over the last 15 years. The label that best fits her now, she says, is gray asexual. (Gray asexual ity is both a point along the asexual ity spectrum and a spectrum unto itself — our spectrums contain spectrumtudes — but to put it sim ply, a gray asexual is someone who rarely experiences sexual desire.)

So, if you’re not to blame, HELPME, and slipping away to rub one out after your ex-girlfriend fell asleep isn’t to blame, that would seem to leave us with just one oth er blamable option: your ex-girl friend. Or maybe larger [forces] are to blame.

“Being asexual, or ‘ace,’ can be very confusing because we live in a culture where sex is presented as compulsory, necessary to inti macy and central to romantic re lationships,” said Przybylo. “And while it’s hard to hear, it’s possible HELPME’s partner never wanted to have sex but did it because she ei ther thought she had to in order to maintain a relationship, or because of societal pressure, or both.”

It’s also possible your ex-girl friend believed she wanted to have sex, HELPME. Being taught from an early age that sex isn’t just normal, but universal, and that all human beings have sex, no exceptions, can put a huge zap on someone’s head. Just as it used to be relatively common for homo sexuals to enter into heterosexual relationships before realizing they were gay, asexuals sometimes en ter into relationships with allo sexuals (non-asexuals) before real izing they’re ace. And just as some gay men go through the heterosex ual motions in a desperate attempt to make their straight marriages work (which can be confusing and hurtful for their wives), some asex uals go through the sexual motions to make their relationships with allosexuals work (which can be confusing and hurtful for their allo girlfriends).

“While a person’s sexuality is about them and their journey, it can and does affect others,” said Przybylo. “In this sense, HELPME’s ex probably didn’t intend to make her feel any which way. She was doing her best in a situation that

SAVAGE LOVE

was probably confusing and over whelming and anxiety-producing for her too.”

If there was more awareness of the existence and legitimacy of asexuality, HELPME, your ex-girl friend may have realized who she was sooner. And if she’d known she was ace before you met, she might have chosen to be your friend in stead of your romantic partner. Or if she wanted a romantic relation ship, you could’ve decided together whether that was something you both wanted.

As for that awful night, HELPME, it sounds like your ex-girlfriend may have felt bad about being asexual, which was why this rela tionship ultimately couldn’t work, but instead of owning up to the reason this relationship wasn’t go ing to work — she’s ace, you’re allo — she seized an opportunity to pin the blame on you.

Przybylo thinks you should con centrate a little less on what didn’t work — what couldn’t work — and more on what did.

“HELPME should hold on to the joyous elements of the relation ship and forgive her ex and her self for the sex not being what she wanted or imagined she wanted,” said Przybylo. And it will be eas ier for you to make that pivot, HELPME, if you “recognize asexu ality is a sexual orientation and that her ex’s asexuality has noth ing to do with HELPME or wheth er she’s desirable.”

Finally, HELPME, telling your self you’re not desirable because your asexual ex-girlfriend didn’t wanna fuck you… is just as crazy as it sounds. You shouldn’t have to get out there and fuck a few allos to feel desirable again — you should just trust that you’re desirable — but it might do you some good.

Hey Dan: Young straight dude here. Recently I have come across a ton of articles online about why women shouldn’t shave their armpits. These articles argue that armpit shaving is based on deeply patriarchal antifeminist notions of female beauty. his leaves me feeling con icted find women’s shaved armpits e tremely erotic, if I’m attracted to the person find shaved underarms irresistibly smooth and supple. I love the sensation. Plus, I love the warmth of the area, and how the underarms are right next to the shoulders, neck, and breasts — sort

of a ne us point ven visually find them off-the-rails sexually arousing. When women grow their armpit hair, it turns off what is for me one of the most sexually attractive parts of a woman’s body. Reading these ar ticles has left me asking: Is it wrong to be so sexually attracted to some thing if it’s supposedly based on pa triarchal beauty standards? Almost all the info find online — shav ing product advertisements aside — seems to be about why women shouldn’t shave their armpits and how a woman shaving her armpits is gender oppression. It’s really left me wondering: Why is this such an issue for some feminists?

Are Re e i e ale sychose ual Interests That Stu id?

If you were smart enough to come up with that signoff, ARMPITS, you’re smart enough to hold these two not-quite-conflicting ideas in your mind without stroking out from the cognitive dissonance: You like what you like and you’ve been conditioned to like what you like. Sometimes with a little thought and effort, we can learn to like more than we were conditioned to like, which is a favor we do ourselves, not others. But it’s not always pos sible for a person to learn to like more than they’ve been condi tioned to like. So, what should a person do then?

A person can and should… shut the fuck up.

A person can remind himself that beauty standards evolve, as do gen dered norms, and if those standards are evolving away from something he’s been conditioned to think is desirable — something like hairless armpits — he can do his level best not to interfere with that evolution.

ou can seek out people you do find attractive — and luckily enough for you, ARMPITS, most women shave their armpits — without shitting all over people you don’t find at tractive. Don’t post “no hairy pits” on dating apps, don’t shit-talk with your bros about hairy armpits be ing gross, don’t post puke emojis all over Instagram when a woman shares a photo that shows armpit hair, and politely pass on potential sex partners who have armpit hair without feeling the need to inform them why you’re passing on them.

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