Riverfront Times, November 22, 2023 by Chava Communications

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

TABLE OF CONTENTS Owner and Chief Executive Officer Chris Keating Executive Editor Sarah Fenske

E D I T O R I A L Managing Editor Jessica Rogen Editor at Large Daniel Hill Staff Writers Ryan Krull, Monica Obradovic Dining Critic Cheryl Baehr Theater Critic Tina Farmer Music Critic Steve Leftridge Contributors Aaron Childs, Max Bouvatte, Thomas Crone, Mike Fitzgerald, Cliff Froehlich, Eileen G’Sell, Reuben Hemmer, Braden McMakin, Tony Rehagen, Mabel Suen, Theo Welling Columnists Chris Andoe, Dan Savage Interns Alexia McCullison, Peter Cohen

A R T

COVER

P R O D U C T I O N

Art Director Evan Sult Creative Director Haimanti Germain Graphic Designer Aspen Smit

Secrets of the Jamestown Mall

M U L T I M E D I A

A D V E R T I S I N G

Publisher Colin Bell Account Manager Jennifer Samuel Directors of Business Development

Long shuttered, now mostly demolished, the north county mall still has stories to tell

Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Cover photo by

B I G

FLICKR/MIKE KALASNIK

Tony Burton, Rachel Hoppman

C I R C U L A T I O N

L O U

H O L D I N G S

Executive Editor Sarah Fenske Vice President of Digital Services Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator Elizabeth Knapp Director of Operations Emily Fear Chief Financial Officer Guillermo Rodriguez Chief Executive Officer Chris Keating

INSIDE Front Burner News Missouriland Feature Calendar Cafe Short Orders Reeferfront Times Culture Music Film Stage Out Every Night Savage

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

FRONT BURNER

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13. Clayton sees its first murder since 2006, and you would think Christ himself had returned after a 2,000-year absence — the breathless media coverage suggests a life in Clayton really is worth more than one in north city. Meanwhile, the Post-Dispatch reports that the Hoffmann Family of Companies is selling off more acquisitions in Hermann. You mean to tell us St. Louis-adjacent wine country serving varietals no decent person would drink is not destined to be the next Napa after all? We’re shocked, just shocked. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14. A man is shot in the head outside Enterprise Center, and what choice do Blues fans have but to file on in for the evening game? This isn’t Clayton, where people care about murders. A few blocks away at City Hall, Aldermanic President Megan Green and Alderman Shane Cohn both say they have COVID-19.

Previously On LAST WEEK IN ST. LOUIS WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15. The Guardian has to remove Osama Bin Laden’s “Letter to America” from its website because young people on TikTok are reading it approvingly now that they too hate Israel. Just wait til they learn about that vegetarian artist Hitler and Mein Kampf! THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16. Dissident members file a lawsuit aimed at forcing KDHX to seat their picks on the board of directors. Naturally, Board President Gary Pierson responds by attacking the former board member serving as the dissidents’ lawyer, which seems remarkably on-brand. Over in University City, some sadist tries to steal the very expensive air

fresheners now working feverishly to purify the air inside Seafood City, the blighted local grocery that left tons of seafood to rot for months before sticking U City taxpayers with the bill. Police collar the thief while he’s putting $1,200 of air fresheners in a shopping cart and refuse to believe his protestations that he was merely sleeping in the abandoned building — because who would sleep in a building reeking of rotting fish? And, finally, it turns out the man being charged with that Clayton murder, Trenell Johnson, is an alleged car thief who’d been recently sprung from jail by the Bail Project, which will surely not endear the nonprofit to nervous Clayton residents.

Prosecuting Attorney Wesley Bell is very quick to point out that he opposed Johnson’s release. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17. St. Louis native Sam Altman gets pushed out as CEO of OpenAI, big news for everyone seeking to make money off the AI coming for our jobs. As for Altman, if he can find a way to battle back, he may well be the second coming of Jack Dorsey. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18. Post-Dispatch Political Columnist Joe Holleman continues to land the big scoops that get at the heart of life in St. Louis: Two Missouri lawmakers haven’t paid their sewer bills and owe MSD $968. Stop the presses! SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 19. Rosalynn Carter dies at age 96. Poor Jimmy! Also, a Belleville, Illinois, man is gunned down while driving on the Stan Musial Bridge just before 11 p.m. Police aren’t yet saying if the shooting was random.

5 QUESTIONS for Gentle Barn Founder Ellie Laks If you want to do something more interesting on Thanksgiving than the usual family feast, the Gentle Barn in Dittmer, Missouri, has an invitation for you: Come out, eat some vegan pie and cuddle with the turkeys. Yes, turkeys. Gentle Barn Founder Ellie Laks, who grew up partly in St. Louis and partly in Boston and New Haven, Connecticut, has been cuddling turkeys for more than two decades. She recently joined us by video from her home in California to discuss how the cuddling began and whether any self-respecting Missourian is willing to give it a chance. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. How did you come to cuddle your first turkey? The very first turkey that I ever saved was a male. It was about a year later that I rescued my very first female turkey, and she and I had a wonderful ritual. Every morning while I was feeding and filling up water buckets, she would follow me around and we would have a wonderful morning conversation. She would talk and I would listen; I would talk and she would listen. One day, she followed me around for longer than usual. And I started worrying, like, “Is she trying to tell me something? Does she need something?” So I sat down on the ground and I said, “What is it, girl? Are you OK?” And she climbed into my lap and fell asleep. That was my first turkey cuddle, and we’ve been cuddling turkeys ever since. The male turkey — did you then try to cuddle him? What I learned is that males do not like to cuddle. They like to show off and get attention and be called handsome. It’s the females that like to cuddle and talk and socialize. Over the last almost 25 years, across three locations with hundreds of turkeys rescued, that is standard: The males want attention and show off and the females want to cuddle — once they feel safe. You’ve been inviting St. Louisans to join you for a few years now. Are people hesitant the first time? I think that we’re all hesitant with something that is new to us. But once we model it for them, they jump right in, and in my experience, people who come to the Gentle Barn to cuddle turkeys, the majority of them burst into tears once they do it.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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Ellie Laks has 25 years of experience with turkey cuddling. | COURTESY THE GENTLE BARN Do people ever come to Dittmer to cuddle turkeys on Thanksgiving and still plan to eat turkey later that day? You know, friends will be invited by friends or maybe family is in town and so their family wants to bring them, and they think, “Oh yeah, we’ll just do this really cool thing and then we’ll go to our Thanksgiving dinner.” And I think that cuddling the turkeys, feeding them their treats, eating vegan pie, really opens their hearts. And I think when they arrive at their previously scheduled dinners, they probably have to think twice about what they’re going to do. I can’t help but notice you’re snuggling with someone now. Who’s that? This is Zazu, and she is our one and only parrot. We rescued her many many years ago, and as you can see she’s climbing all over me. —Sarah Fenske

[ WEEKLY WTF?!

T H E D E V I L’ S I N T H E D E TA I L S

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CHRIS ANDOE’S SOCIETY PAGE A Theatre Impresario’s Cruella de Vil-Themed Birthday

It’s a vision of autumn. | EVIE HEMPHILL

STOP SIGN WATCH When: 1:35 p.m. Thursday, November 9 Where: Shenandoah Avenue and Ninth Street, Soulard What: a gourd Why: Haven’t you heard? It’s gourd season, motherfuckers!

But why bedeck a stop sign? No clue. But the contrast between bright red and pale yellow, flat octagon and bulbous sphere offers a thrilling juxtaposition and commentary on autumn, one that only a true artist could make. Geniuses are among us, and who are we to judge the medium they select?

15 SECONDS OF FAME RAGING ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK

John Jacob Ehlinger

It’s hard to make headlines for a simple case of road rage in this town, but John Jacob Ehlinger, 35, allegedly went on a rampage October 22 that makes other aggressive St. Louis drivers look like Caspar Milquetoast. When another driver honked at Ehlinger for allegedly blowing through a stop sign near Ballpark Village downtown, Ehlinger allegedly hopped out of his truck (of course it was a truck!), pulled the offending driver out of his car and beat him so badly, he broke the guy’s jaw and forehead. That’s not all. When another driver passed the scene, police say, Ehlinger chased him and pointed a gun at his Range Rover. The driver told the cops he heard gunshots while speeding away. The October incident wasn’t even the first prominent brawl involving Ehlinger, who lives in Ballwin. The Post-Dispatch says John Jacob Ehlinger seems to have some rage he was previously involved in an issues. | SWANSEA PD ugly bar fight with three players for the Cardinals outside the Penthouse Club in Sauget — and that at the time, Ehlinger was on probation for slashing someone’s tires in an unrelated case. The rage is strong in this one. We can only hope that this time, someone keeps him locked up long enough to calm him down.

n November 11, St. Lou Fringe President and Artistic Director Matthew R. Kerns celebrated his 51st birthday with a Cruella de Vilthemed party at Mykel McIntosh’s sumptuous new Midtown wine bar, Videira. Some of the notable guests included musical artist Zeus Rebel Waters, the Charity CFO CEO Tosha Anderson, opera composers Nika Leoni and Kathryn Thompson Favazza, and the RFT’s own theater critic, Tina Farmer. I first met Kerns in January, when he and his husband Sean Gottlieb offered to produce my one-man show, The Final Performance of Midnight Annie, which debuted at STL Fringe in August and begins touring this month. That Uppity Theater Company Artistic Director Joan Lipkin was among the first to arrive, joining me, Kage Black, David Ray and Pauly Ramuz — who was decked out in a Cruella de Vil faux fur coat — at one end of the long marble table. Lipkin is a delight at theater-related events because she knows everyone. She leaned in with a synopsis as guests arrived, including a former Fox 2 reporter. “That’s Paul Shankman,” she said to me. “He is absolutely one of the best video storytellers in the region. He just won an Emmy for his piece on the musical reunion of Some of My Best Friends Are. He has won over 30 Emmys. With the advent of accessible technology and social media, a lot of people think they are professional. Not so. There is a real art to capturing the essence of a story. Paul gets it.” “Oracle of Cherokee Street” Eron Mazza, who hosts the popular podcast The Witching Hour with Eron Mazza, read cards for guests. Amy Ziegler, who was on the board of the Fringe Fest when Kerns was hired, was on the list for a reading, despite being a nonbeliever. I told her that Eron lived with me a few years ago and regularly conducted readings in the dining room. “Those readings really stirred up the energy in the house,” I said. “The dogs would sometimes bark at things unseen.” Ziegler returned to the table after the reading, seemingly impressed by the accuracy, but ended her praise with, “I still don’t believe in it. Don’t get me wrong.”

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Before cutting the cake, Kerns made his remarks. “Having everyone take time out of their busy lives to spend with Sean and I for my birthday is the best gift of all. The cake harkens back to my childhood, when my older cousin had a birthday party where all the girls got a doll cake, and I got a matchbox car. After years of desiring a frosted doll of my very own, I was thrilled to have Celebrating Life Cakes make this delicious piece of art inspired by the wonderfully evil Cruella de Vil. Not to mention, Mykel’s Videira Wine Shop was the perfect location for a glamorous happy hour birthday event! What a wonderful way to welcome 51.” The following day I reached out to few guests I didn’t get an opportunity to visit with, including Anderson. “The Cruella de Vil theme was not just a nod to a classic character but a perfect reflection of Matthew’s flair for the dramatic and his incredible taste,” Anderson told me. “Matthew, as many know, is not just a friend but an artist and a connector of people. This party was a testament to that. The diverse crowd, ranging from artists to entrepreneurs, created an electric atmosphere. It was a convergence of various worlds, each person bringing their unique energy to the mix. Matthew has this extraordinary ability to bring together a mosaic of people, and that night was a vivid illustration of his talent. The joy and laughter that filled the room were a true reflection of the impact he has on everyone he meets.” The always-busy Lipkin, who had to depart early for the Black Rep Gala, echoed Anderson’s sentiments. “What strikes me is how wide and diverse his circles are. He doesn’t just hang with the theatre kids. That kind of mix is unusual in a place that often tends towards more siloed socializing. Matt has a gift for friendship and that makes him rich, indeed.” The tucked-away venue is a hidden gem, and guests loved it. “The wine bar itself was the ideal backdrop for such a gathering,” Anderson said. “Videira’s selection of fine wines and its elegant ambiance complemented the evening’s theme beautifully. It was more than a birthday party; it was a celebration of life, art and the connections that bind us.” n

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NEWS

A 6-Year Ordeal — with Little to Show for It The aftermath of Kendrick Woods’ 2017 murder has been heartbreaking for his family members Written by

RYAN KRULL

n the morning of November 14 — at 9:25 a.m. to be exact — the RFT reported that city prosecutors were dismissing first-degree murder charges against Dejuan Allen, a 25-year-old who was first charged almost six years ago, when he was 19. Allen had spent five of the last six years in the City Justice Center. Both Lin and Lisa Woods say they took note of the article’s timestamp when a relative sent them the article later that day. Lisa is the mother of Kendrick Woods, 19, who Allen was accused of killing. Lin is Kendrick’s aunt. At 9:30 a.m. that Tuesday, they had a meeting with the prosecutor’s office in which they were told about the case against Kendrick’s alleged killer being dismissed. The timing smarted. “The word was out there, knowledge that this was being officially dismissed, was out there before the family was even notified,” Lin says. It was far from the first time the Woods family has felt left out of the loop when it comes to the now abandoned case against their son’s alleged killer. Before Kendrick’s death on December 2, 2017, Lisa says her son was a typical 19-year-old trying to find himself. He grew up in the Gate District and College Hill neighborhoods, graduated from Roosevelt High School and took courses at St. Louis Community College - Forest Park. He worked part time at Penn Station and made music on the side. A search of court records turns up no crim-

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Kendrick Woods, shown with family members, was shot to death on DeTonty Street in Shaw. | COURTESY PHOTO inal history. On the night of December 2, Kendrick was with three friends going to one of their homes on DeTonty in the Shaw neighborhood. According to Lisa, when Kendrick was on the house’s back porch, two men “appeared out of nowhere dressed in black clothing,” and one fatally shot Kendrick. Both men then fled. Lisa says the police first told her that her son had been in an accident. She remembers her first thought was, “Who was driving?” It wasn’t until she, along with Lin, were at the police station downtown that an officer said they all needed to go to the morgue. “That’s how we found out,” Lin recalls. Within a few weeks, Allen was charged in Kendrick’s shooting. But after that, the case dragged on for years. One prosecutor handed the case off to the next. The Woods say updates were sporadic. Years later, as part of his effort to remove St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner, who ran the prosecutor’s office for all but the final months of the case against Allen, Attorney General Andrew Bailey would cite Gardner’s failure to

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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“inform and confer with” victims and their families. In one instance, in the months leading up to Allen’s trial, the Woods say they were told that Assistant Circuit Attorney Sai Chigurupati was handing the case off to another prosecutor. However, the same week the Woods were informed of this, they saw on the news that the new prosecutor was leaving the office all together. Chigurupati took the case back over. Allen’s trial came amid the nadir of Gardner’s tenure, taking place over three days in May about two weeks before Gardner resigned and at a time when the office was hemorrhaging prosecutors. In the end, the crux of the case against Allen rested on two witnesses, one of whom it would later be reported by KSDK as lacking in credibility and not actually having witnessed the shooting. During the trial, Lin got a text from a third potential witness saying she was too scared to testify. “The [prosecutor] is not good enough,” the text read. “If he gets charged they’re coming after me.” Both family members say that Allen’s defense attorney, Paul

Sims, repeatedly cast the other person with Allen that night as the shooter who killed Kendrick. But when that person took the stand, he denied it. After three days, the jury failed to reach a verdict. The trial received scant coverage amid the collapse of Gardner’s office. One of the only exceptions was a KSDK article, which quoted a juror as saying Chigurupati “looked very nervous the whole time. It was just terrible.” The Woodses don’t disagree with the assessment, but they don’t blame Chigurupati either. “I am in no way blaming Sai for doing his job to the best of his ability. I fault all the prosecuting attorneys that abandoned the job,” says Lisa. At the time, after an exodus of staff, Chigurupati was the last remaining prosecutor in the office’s Violent Crimes Unit. The Woodses say they were dealt an additional indignity on the day of the non-verdict. When the jury went out to deliberate, the Woodses say they were ushered across the street to a different building and were told that when the jury was ready to announce their decision, someone would come and get them. However, when the jury read the verdict in court, no one alerted the Woodses. “We missed everything,” Lisa says. “They left us sitting over there.” Judge Scott Millikan declared a mistrial, Allen was set free on bond and everything seemed to be headed for a second round. But things were changing. After Gardner quit, the governor appointed a new circuit attorney. Prosecutors returned. Experienced attorneys joined the office as special assistants. One of those special assistants was Gordon Ankney, the sixth prosecutor to take on the Allen case, by Lin and Lisa’s count. When Lisa and Lin went to meet at the circuit attorney’s office last week, it was Ankney who they met with. Lin describes Ankney as “easygoing.” During their conversation, one of the major themes Lin says Ankney, an attorney with 40-plus years of experience, kept hitting on was that if he’d been a part of the case from the start, there were

Single-Car Pilot Program Drives Rider Anger MetroLink passengers aren’t happy about an experiment now in its eighth week Written by

SARAH FENSKE

or the past eight weeks, Metro Transit has been experimenting with a change to MetroLink service — and it’s getting an earful from riders who aren’t happy about it. The public transit agency announced in late September that it would begin putting some single-car trains into service instead of its normal trains, which include two cars. Metro Transit framed the change as a pilot project that would allow “more flexibility” that “provides opportunities to try out new innovative options that may better serve the changing travel patterns of our MetroLink riders.” But as the experiment has continued into its seventh week, with no end date publicly announced, some riders have grown fed up. A recent Metro Transit Facebook post apologizing for the lack of communication around the experiment drew 70 comments, not a single one positive. Riders shared about how crowded the single-car trains have been and the stress of trying to load into a single car during all-too-brief train stops. One described being “packed in like sardines.” Wrote another, “I get on at Central West end around 345/4 p.m. And it’s terrible. One of the drivers often says, ‘This train is departing in 10 seconds’ while people are packing into a train, down the aisles. Riders don’t even have time to

board the train! These one-cart trains are ridiculous! Trains are so packed wheelchair bound people can’t even get on bc people can’t move out of the way.” Even a driver weighed in on Metro Transit’s post. “The single car train KILLS dwell time and any chance of keeping the train on time because you have an entire platform worth of passengers trying to squeeze into four sets of doors as opposed to eight,” he wrote. “Central West End at rush hour is a prime example of it. And a lot of times that single-car train is already full before I get to Central West End and that adds to the problem.” Frequent public transit user (and former RFT proofreader) Evie Hemphill says that difficulties with the single-car trains are particularly acute for people using wheelchairs or bicycles. A two-car train has three areas for bikes — at the back of the first car and then the front of the next one, as well as the back of the second

many things he would have done differently. In a statement given to the RFT last week by the Circuit Attorney’s Office, spokeswoman Christine Bertelson said that after Gabe Gore was appointed circuit attorney, the Allen case was assigned to a special assistant circuit attorney for review and that ultimately, dismissal was recommended. “The dismissal of this case reflects a decision reached following an application of the Office’s rigorous process,” Bertelson said. According to the Woodses, the two people who had previously

been witnesses in the case left town, in part out of fear related to their testimony, and Lisa says it’s her understanding there were difficulties in getting them to come back to testify again. She believes that played into prosecutors’ decision. “They want to clear these cases from the docket,” says Lisa. “I think they mentioned maybe 500 cases they want to clear, so if the witness is going to require a little bit more work to locate …” Her sister finishes the thought, “They’re not going to put any money or effort into it.” n

Regular riders says that one-car trains create new hazards for cyclists, people with wheelchairs and more. | HARLAN MCCARTHY car. A one-car train means everything on wheels is stuck in the rear of the car, which she’s seen grow perilously crowded. She blames the one-car system for a broken fender on her bike. “I had to push my way in,” she says. Hemphill says the lack of communication has also been frustrating. At first, Metro Transit suggested they were doing this as an experiment that could help reduce wear and tear and be “more efficient” for security on patrol. She says she’s skeptical of those reasons — and her attempts to find out how long the pilot will continue have gone unanswered. “Be straight with us,” she says. “Are the cars not in working order? Are there not enough mechanics? They can’t blame it on the driver shortage because it’s the same amount of drivers.” In a statement to the RFT, Metro Transit said it would make a decision on the future of single-car service by the end of November. “Metro Transit launched a pilot program on October 2 to evaluate the operations of single-car MetroLink service,” its statement read. “The motivation for this pilot program came from the pandemic, where limited resources and manpower affected our ability to deliver transit services in the region. We want to determine if single-car service provides any resource advantages or operational efficiencies that could be useful for future service planning or as a contingency in challenging situations. In addition, we also wanted to gauge any potential impact on safety and security on the system, as well as rider feedback.” If nothing else, they’re getting feedback. n

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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A C E L E B R AT I O N O F T H E U N I Q U E A N D FA S C I N AT I N G A S P E C T S O F O U R H O M E

MISSOURILAND

Once More Unto the Breach Wrestling champ Moondog Rover cut short his comeback — but not before one last match Words and Photos by

REUBEN HEMMER

t had been nearly a year to the day since I met Moondog Rover at DuBowl Lanes to interview him about his comeback match. The south city wrestling champ had suffered a heart attack in July 2022, only to make a monumental return last January. Now, almost a year after that comeback, I was invited to meet Moondog at the Lemay bowling alley once again. But this time, the tone was different. A lot had transpired since we last spoke. For one thing, Moondog Rover had a giant scar across his throat, and his voice was reduced to a soft whisper. Moondog was also unable to bowl, his second greatest passion next to wrestling. Despite these limitations, the celebrated wrestler made clear that nothing could stop him from being involved in what he loves. “When it comes to wrestling, let’s just say I’m stepping away, not retiring. I’ll be on the sidelines, offering advice and guidance to the new guys. Not just to train them but to make them better than I was,” he told me. Paul McKnight, a.k.a. Moondog Rover, has been dazzling and entertaining guests at wrestling events all across the country for 45 years, and 36 of those years have been at the historic South Broadway Athletic Club in Soulard, with its matches run by the Mid-Missouri Wrestling Alliance. Looking like a deranged Santa Claus on a warpath of destruction, Moondog is famous for sticking to the classics. His only form of communication is barking, he steals kids’ shoes to pretend to pee on them and his dreaded weapon of choice is an oversized dog bone. Tragedy struck when Moondog suffered a heart attack after facing wrestler Dr. Dallas Stevens

a.k.a. the Doctor of Decadence. The 57-year-old required open heart surgery and many months of rehabilitation, yet he was back in the ring just six months later — and defeated the very opponent who caused his heart attack. Yet hardship continued to follow Moondog. “I will only wrestle if I can give it 110 percent,” he said. “If I can’t give the audience the show they deserve, then I know I need to step away.” This was apparent in his matches immediately following his comeback. Moondog at first was

in full force: tossing challengers left and right, and gnawing at their foreheads like a wild animal. Months later, however, you could see a limp in Moondog’s step. His matches were a bit slower, and a wrap was placed around his arm. “Yeah, I had developed a dropped foot, and I was bit on my arm by a brown recluse. I guess you could say I’m just lucky,” Moondog said, showing me his scar from the spider bite. While attempting to determine the root of Moondog’s dropped foot, doctors discovered the wres-

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tler also had three herniated discs in his spinal column. It soon became apparent Moondog was in dire need of surgery. “I guess you could attribute that to years of getting hit over the back of the head with a chair,” Moondog chuckled. “Basically the doctors said I was at risk of being paralyzed. One wrong move, wrong turn, wrong hit … that’s when I realized it was time to slow down.” Moondog then made the decision to place wrestling on hiatus, and underwent an anterior cervical discectomy with

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MOONDOG ROVER Continued from pg 11

fusion. For months he had to wear a cervical collar neck brace, and his voice suffered damage from the surgery. “I may never get my voice back,” he said in a hushed tone, “but I’ll be working on that one too.” In true form, Moondog has only viewed these setbacks as mere obstacles to overcome. Between spinal surgery and introducing Australian punk band Alien Nosejob at their St. Louis show, an announce-

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ment was made that Moondog’s final match before stepping away would be in November. Despite the real possibility of the wrestler being paralyzed for life, he stated that he needed to give the crowd just one more round. “This time it’s on my terms, and though there is a danger, I just need to give the audience what they deserve one more time,” he said. “There is still hope I can get back into the ring; the doctors said I could be reevaluated in about a year, but right now I really just need to do this for them — my fans — one more time.”

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“If you could say anything to your fans, what would it be,” I asked. Moondog fell silent. In between the cracking of bowling balls hitting pins, Blue Öyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” played softly in the background. Moondog’s eyes began to well up, and although it seemed impossible for Moondog’s voice to get any softer, there was a specific tenderness in the wrestler’s words: “To my fans, I cannot thank you enough. Never have I ever felt anything so wonderful. It truly means the world to me, and I do this for you. I would not be where

I am if it wasn’t for you, and I will always work 110 percent for you.” To no surprise, at Moondog’s final match on Saturday, November 11, the only tickets left at the South Broadway Athletic Club were standing room only. Fans wore their best Moondog costumes and waved their accessorized dogbones. After a recognition of Veterans Day and the crowd ending the National Anthem by shouting “Home of the BLUES,” match after exciting match commenced. Wrestling fans stayed so hydrated while waiting for the main event, the taps at the bar ran dry.

Finally the time came for Moondog to step in the ring. With his cervical collar sitting tightly around his neck, Moondog rounded the arena greeting and barking at fans. As Moondog passed an unsuspecting child, the wrestler snatched off the boy’s shoe and pretended to urinate on it like a dog — to the delight of every single person in the room. All of the wrestlers who had performed that evening then began to file in, kneeling around the ring as a sign of respect to their beloved colleague. Dr. Dallas, Moondog’s historic

nemesis, then made his way into the ring. Dr. Dallas proceeded to showboat, and mentioned the hospitalization he had been responsible for once before. While he was making comments regarding Moondog’s weakness, Moondog took advantage of the distracted Dr. Dallas, and removed his cervical brace. By the time Dr. Dallas realized Moondog had placed the cervical brace in his hand, it was too late for the unsuspecting Doctor of Decadence. Moondog unleashed everything he had, and the dog was certainly let out of its cage. Moondog placed Dr. Dal-

las in a vulnerable position, and like the child’s shoe, pretended to urinate on him like a canine. The crowd erupted into a frenzy. Dr. Dallas returned with solid punches and throws, but underestimated Moondog’s greatest weapon: his bone. After one fatal swoop to the head, Moondog knocked out the very wrestler who caused his heart attack, and came back to pin him once more. Moondog had lived up to his promise, and certainly gave his fans one hell of a final show. After the bell was rung and victory declared, Moondog’s family and fellow wrestlers swarmed the

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ring to give him hugs and show thanks. A final twist was included in this match: A previous bet had been made that if Dr. Dallas won, Moondog would have to retire for good. If Moondog won, Dr. Dallas had to wear a blond wig until he wins another match. Before adorning Dr. Dallas’ head with the blond wig, Moondog ended the evening with a ceremonial gesture well-respected in the wrestling world. He removed and placed his boots in the center of the ring to commemorate stepping away. On top of the boots, he laid his famous bone. n

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Long shuttered, now mostly demolished, the north county mall still has stories to tell 14

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By SHANNON HOWARD

n the farthest reaches of north St. Louis County, against a dense

backdrop of old sycamore trees and a sea of honeysuckle, the busy main road that we all know as Lindbergh Boulevard comes to a quiet and abrupt dead end. Steps away, a wild and secluded section of Coldwater Creek flows not far from the Missouri River. And it was here, in this seemingly remote and rustic area known as Old Jamestown, that somebody decided in the early 1970s it was a good idea to build a large enclosed shopping mall. About eight miles to the south, the enclosed River Roads Shopping Center in Jennings had already been thriving for nearly a decade at that point. The indoor mall boom was also in full swing in other St. Louis suburbs, with Crestwood Mall (1957), South County Mall (1963) and West County Mall (1969) all beckoning shoppers inside from across the region. So why not north county too? That’s what developers figured. And the idea of Jamestown Mall as a lush, climate-controlled shopping destination was born, all thanks to a partnership between two popular department stores — Stix, Baer & Fuller and Sears Roebuck — and an innovative Cleveland-based mall developer: Jacobs, Visconsi & Jacobs.

Groundbreaking started in 1972 on the site of what was previously a cattle pasture and several small family farms. Almost exactly a year later, Jamestown Mall officially opened for business on October 10, 1973. It had 90-plus stores in almost 900,000 square feet, and sat on 63 acres of farm field, adjacent to even more farm fields and a smattering of newly built tract houses. And though it was basically in the middle of nowhere, it was also nothing short of a magical living terrarium: an always78-degrees sensory experience, with huge skylights, tropical plants and trees, bubbling fountains, gleaming marble and several large contemporary sculptures that served as striking Continued on pg 17

The Jamestown Mall created a community out of what had once been farm fields | VIA FLICKR/MIKE KALASNIK riverfronttimes.com

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The mall sat on 63 acres, which made for plentiful parking lots. | VIA FLICKR/MIKE KALASNIK

The author as a teen in her best Id-approved sales attire. | COURTESY PHOTO

JAMESTOWN MALL Continued from pg 15

focal points in the main gathering areas. It smelled of fresh earthy greenhouse and chlorine, mixed with a subtle hint of new shoes, movie popcorn, perfume and pipe tobacco. And the primary soundtrack was often gently flowing water plus a faint echo of organ music, coming from a salesman enthusiastically playing a keyboard at the music store by Sears. I know because I lived in one of those nearby tract houses, just across one of those farm fields, starting in 1978 — and there was no place I would rather explore and wander as a kid than Jamestown Mall. In 1981, while my mom was

The mall was open from 1973 to 2014. | VIA FLICKR/MIKE KALASNIK browsing the racks at Lerner, I asked if I could go to the mall’s center court where a small crowd was gathering around a tempo-

rary stage. As I walked up, the announcer welcomed a “soap opera star” with a “brand new record.” And lo and behold, I ended up see-

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ing an early live performance of “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield! I also spent countless hours in the ’80s just hanging out at Jamestown Mall with friends. Crushing on boys. Playing video games at Aladdin’s Castle. Seeing my first 3D movie (Parasite … bad choice). Drooling over slouchy sweaters at the Limited and real parachute pants at Merry-Go-Round. Discovering waffle fries at the first-ever Chick-fil-A in St. Louis. Scouring Spencer Gifts for the latest Duran Duran pins and instructive books like The Valley Girl’s Guide to Life and Joel’s Journal and Fact-Filled Fart Book. (Still classics.) I got my first job at the mall’s York Steak House at 14, after lying to say I was 16 and spending much of my short-lived career there sneaking pickles from the walkin. I also worked at a women’s clothing store called Id, until the day I accidentally nicked a vein in my wrist while opening boxes, spraying blood all over the newest mauve-toned merchandise and nearly fainting. I was too embarrassed to come back after that, so I quit, but I still have a photo of my Id-approved work outfit: mauve + scarf + shoulder pads. A couple years later, I met the legendary Muhammad Ali (!) when he was promoting his new cologne “for the man who loves to win” at a hastily draped folding table near Dillard’s (formerly Stix, Baer & Fuller). In fact, he was sitting right next to my very favorite sculpture in the mall, the smallest one and the only one not made of metal ... two intersecting concrete swirls that almost looked like the

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Continued on pg 18

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Among the highlights during the mall’s heyday: JC Penney, Macy’s and, of course, a food court. | FLICKR/MIKE KALASNIK

JAMESTOWN MALL Continued from pg 17

petals of a flower. Little did I know then, but all of the mall’s sculptures were actually created by the same artist. I also didn’t know that the skylights were installed using helicopters. Or that the original east entrance could fully retract to allow trucks as big as a semi to enter. And I certainly didn’t know that the mall’s manager from 1974 to 1979 was a creative showman of the highest order, or that ancient artifacts may have been discovered during construction, or that, in hindsight — let’s be honest — this is a mall that probably should have never existed. But I know now. Inspired by news of the mall’s demolition, which started this fall, I dove back into research I had started four years ago and reconnected with the sculpture artist’s wife and the son of one of the original developers. I also chatted with my friend Peggy Kruse, who just published her second book on the Old Jamestown area, and by pure luck I met a wonderful lady who once lived on the land where the mall was built. Realizing I had a great story that needed to be told, I dug even deeper into research and talked to even more people who knew and loved the mall in its heyday.

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The mall’s sculptures were by Clarence Van Duzer. | TOBY WEISS, BELTSTL.COM The result is not just a personal story but something I hope anyone who’s ever visited a mall will find entertaining: my favorite “secrets” from the history of Jamestown Mall.

Yes, there was bear wrestling at the mall in the 1970s. There was also a petting zoo with baby deer, a live Easter egg-hatching display with 120 candy-colored chicks, a large traveling lion ex-

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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hibit where you could hold a lion cub and a visit by Kokomo Jr., the TV star billed as the “wealthiest chimp in America.” All of these animal attractions (and more) arose from the marketing genius of mall manager Ronn Moldenhauer, who also happened to be the first person to climb in the ring with the famous “Victor the Rasslin’ Bear,” at an event that drew wall-to-wall crowds to the mall in 1977, and where Victor’s 15,000-career winning streak was actually broken

by a 19-year-old Olympic wrestler from Cool Valley! A natural salesman and promoter who wore dapper plaid suits and sometimes a tuxedo and top hat, Moldenhauer had been running a women’s clothing store at another Jacobs, Visconsi & Jacobs (JVJ) mall in Michigan when the developer asked him to run the entire Jamestown Mall. He arrived a few months after the grand opening. At age 37, with a wife and three kids, he truly breathed life into the “mall as a second home” concept for Jamestown’s first five and a half years. Envisioning center court as a town square, he welcomed puppeteers, pet owners, magicians, gymnasts, gardeners, Blues hockey players, skateboarders, military and school bands, woodworkers, disco dancers, square dancers, circus performers, fashion shows and “pretty much anything he could get in there that might interest more than five people,” says his daughter Laura Broccard, who worked numerous odd jobs at the mall as a teenager. It was his idea to launch a Jamestown Mall newspaper and to create a costumed mascot named “King James the Lion,” sometimes played by his teenage son, who also played Santa Claus when the regular mall Santas called in sick. And of course it was Moldenhauer who planned events like the Tinder Box pipe smoking contest,

the custom van competition, the iceless ice show, the Italian moped display, the annual “Datsun Fest” where you could win a new car by playing Wham-O Frisbee Golf, and the 1977 Farrah Fawcett-Majors look-alike contest, cosponsored by radio station KSLQ. More than 2,000 people showed up to see 108 “Farrahs” walk the stage and answer questions about their favorite movie star and favorite quote. Five semi-finalists were chosen that day, in a spectacle that the Post-Dispatch described as “Lots of hair. Lots of leg. Lots of teeth.” Apparently Farrah contests were quite a thing that year, and Moldenhauer deemed his such a success that he immediately started imagining a Burt Reynolds lookalike contest as well. But alas, he was offered the manager job at a bigger, newer North Carolina mall in 1979, and not only did the Burt contest never come about, but what was arguably the golden age of live events at Jamestown Mall came to an end.

The artist who created the mall sculptures was renowned and brilliant.

As JVJ was growing to become one

of the country’s largest mall developers in the late 1960s and early 1970s, it built a stable of trusted contractors who would go project to project, state to state. And one of those “regulars” was a multi-talented artist from Cleveland named Clarence Van Duzer (1920-2009). Known by friends and family simply as Van, he was a Yaleeducated jack-of-all-trades who worked as a college art professor while simultaneously creating a stunning body of work in a variety of mediums. A skilled oil painter, sketch artist, model maker and muralist, he also crafted large abstract sculptures out of metal and concrete, including the rocket-shaped “Global Flight and Celebration,” a 50-foot-tall stainless steel landmark at Cleveland Hopkins Airport. His work in malls spanned 11 states and encompassed not only sculpture but also elaborate chandeliers and fountains that he designed, installed and maintained. “Van engineered all the plumbing, lights, electrical and cast cement pools,” says his widow, Kathy Lynn Van Duzer, “and I recall many times when he would pack his waders and head off to a mall to tune up the fountains and ad-

just the sprays.” At Jamestown Mall, he constructed the massive copper sculpture at center court and the two steel sculptures in the north and south wings, plus all the fountains and cast concrete forms surrounding them. And yes, he also made the smaller concrete “swirls” by Dillard’s. I was surprised to learn that he created sculptures and fountains for Chesterfield Mall, too, and that those and all of his Jamestown sculptures very likely had names! Van Duzer titled nearly all of his pieces. But he was so prolific, constantly producing art, that his wife has yet to catalog his entire collection — so that will have to be a mystery for another day.

The fountains fed both plants and orphans. Built as a giant living, breathing atrium, Jamestown Mall was also an enclosed ecosystem where the humidity from the fountains and the sunshine from the skylights provided an ideal atmosphere for tropical plants. For years, the mall employed a specialist in ornamental horticulture, who not only tended to pruning and fertil-

izing but also to propagating new plants from existing cuttings. When the fountains were fully active (before they were mostly filled in with dirt in the mall’s later days), they supported a rich array of colored and textured flora, from umbrella plant, ficus and Norfolk Island pine to dragon tree, banana tree, Dieffenbachia and more. The fountains also proved irresistible for swimming, at least to my then five-year-old cousin Nick, who was one of many young kids who took the plunge. And you know those coins that collected at the bottom? For making a wish? Throughout the 1970s, they were gathered and used to throw an annual party for local orphans. On the Sunday before Christmas every year, the mall welcomed around 400 orphaned children, who were given personalized gifts and treated to magic and puppet shows, a movie, photos with Santa and a Thanksgiving-style meal with all the trimmings. Theater and restaurant workers donated their time. “Mall employees, store employees, everybody helped out. Some of them even took turkeys home the night before and baked them,” Continued on pg 21

Jamestown Mall’s Final Days Included Chaos — and a Last-Minute Save By Shannon Howard

n the final dying years of Jamestown Mall, after many of the national retailers had left and a string of new owners and managers struggled to keep it afloat — or even keep the heat on and the mortgage paid — the mall entered what I would call its “Wild West” phase. The roof was leaking, maintenance was overdue and the entire south wing was literally walled off from the public. Desperate to generate income, management offered cheap rent to anyone who could pay, and for a short while a number of mom-and-pop businesses did keep the mall going. But the days were numbered, and the doors officially closed in 2014. Sort of. I say that because the mall was never actually vacant after that. For several years, it had a tenant/caretaker — Rick Cheney of the Really Cool Stuff Shop — who told me that he pretty much stayed there round the clock, armed with a shotgun and ever vigilant about keeping intruders at bay. There were also people still renting storefronts as storage units, and five separate owners of the various mall buildings, which meant a lot of folks walking around with keys to a shuttered and now very vulnerable property. So, yes, doors got unlocked and items

of value disappeared. And then at a certain point, around 2018, all hell just broke loose inside Jamestown Mall and it didn’t matter who had a key or not. Hundreds of looters, vandals and “urban explorers” repeatedly found their way inside — stealing, breaking, shooting, burning, spray-painting and destroying nearly everything in sight. Some tried squatting there. Some rode motorcycles and four-wheelers up and down the corridors. Others wanted to take photos and video in what had become known online as the “creepiest” and “most dangerous” mall in America. One young woman even got trapped in a windowless back room for eight hours and had to be rescued! It was slightly before this era of pure chaos, in 2017, that Cheney contacted multiple local arts organizations to try to save the mall’s three metal sculptures by noted Cleveland-based artist Clarence Van Duzer. Nobody was interested. And because this was the Wild West, with out-of-state owners who didn’t care and pieces of the mall walking away fairly regularly, he finally arranged for them to be sold to Kelvin Baucom of Baucom’s funeral home, who at the time owned one of the mall outbuildings and planned to give the sculptures a second chance. Today, you can drive by Baucom’s

funeral home at 9480 Lewis and Clark Boulevard in Jennings and see the steel sculpture from the mall’s north wing reinstalled on the front lawn. It’s alive! On a recent visit to the site, I also spotted the south wing sculpture there, sitting in two pieces behind the building. I’ve been told that it will be installed soon as well, and that the large copper sculpture from center court will go up at Baucom’s second funeral home, which is slated to open at 4189 Veterans Memorial Parkway in St. Peters. (As a side note, you can see the Van Duzer sculpture “Century,” which was originally at the center court of Chesterfield Mall, prominently displayed in two pieces outside the Jewish Community Center in Creve Coeur.) But my favorite sculpture at Jamestown Mall was the concrete “swirl” that stood in front of Dillard’s, and I’m thrilled to report that it was saved as well. My friend Jeff Ryals made a last-minute effort to rescue it before demolition started this fall, contacting the St. Louis County Port Authority, which is the mall’s current owner, and eventually the manager of the demolition site. With help from Michael Allen at the National Buildings Arts Center in Sauget, Illinois, he scrambled to get a heavy equipment crew and take a firsthand look at the sculpture before the doz-

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ers started moving in. It was bigger than expected — around 13 feet tall — and more damaged than expected, though fixable. But Ryals had wanted to install it in his yard and had concerns that its stucco coating would just deteriorate outside and get ruined. So he wrestled over the decision but sadly determined that he just couldn’t take it. In the meantime, demolition manager Dan Liverance was walking by the sculpture multiple times a day. A site superintendent for Target Contractors LLC, he has worked in the demo business for 40 years and has pretty much seen it all, including many of the worst and craziest days at “dead” Jamestown Mall. And for some reason, he just felt strongly that the sculpture needed to be saved. “Everything has been stolen here. There’s nothing of value left, nothing that hasn’t been vandalized and ruined. And yet through all of this, the sculpture’s been sitting here the entire time,” he says. “It’s been spray-painted, set on fire, gotten wet … and I just kept looking at it, thinking … why is it still here? Why is it the only thing that survived?” So with permission from his company’s owner and many “what the…?” Continued on pg 21

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At first, the mall’s caretaker had no luck finding homes for the mall’s metal sculptures (shown in better days), but they’ve since found new placements around St. Louis. | TOBY WEISS, BELTSTL.COM

JAMESTOWN MALL Continued from pg 19

the mall manager explained in a 1979 interview. “It was really worthwhile ... the whole mall coming together to do something like that for so many children.”

The parking lot probably hides ancient treasures. In studying the history of the Old Jamestown area over the years, I’ve learned just how old it really is. Located not far from the confluence of two great North American rivers — the Missouri and the Mississippi — it was a land of natural

abundance that attracted both indigenous people and frontier settlers. And before that — way before that — it also attracted “megafauna” Ice Age animals, who gathered near a large lake that had formed at an ice dam near the mouth of Coldwater Creek. That was 35,000 years ago, according to Joe Harl of the Archae-

SAVED SCULPTURE Continued from pg 19

looks from his own crew, Liverance and several guys spent hours carefully extricating the sculpture and its extremely heavy base, eventually moving them across the parking lot to the front of the former bank building, now the demolition office, where the sculpture now sits. Its next home is unsure for now, but some, including Liverance, would like to see it stay on the mall site as a monument. He feels this “final survivor” may be a symbol for the strength and resilience of all the people who loved and nurtured Jamestown Mall over the years, like longtime nearby resident Mary Lou Walsh, who had tears in her eyes when he showed her that the sculpture had been preserved. “I think it may be guarding this place,” Liverance says. “I’m not usually that kind of person, but there’s just something about it. It almost makes my hair stand up when I think what it’s been through.” He added, “Even more eerie, ever since we pulled the sculpture out, we haven’t had one single police incident … at a place that’s had almost daily incidents for years. So I just have to wonder. Something about it seems kind of magical.” n

ological Research Center of St. Louis, who says that since then, “Many Pleistocene animal bones have been discovered along Coldwater Creek … and numerous bones have been found during construction in this area.” Which may help to explain a story I heard from a longtime Old Jamestown resident, who watched the mall being built: While earthmovers were clearing the land, she noticed a group of people with “little paintbrushes” working in a roped-off, square plot. She wasn’t able to get up close but ended up talking with one of the crew, who told her they were archaeologists and had found, in her telling, “evidence of saber-toothed tiger!” She later heard that mastodon bones were found as well. But unfortunately the earthmovers kept moving, she told me, edging ever closer to the roped-off plot, and within two weeks it was plowed over and filled in, soon to be covered with pavement.

The parking lot definitely hides sinkholes.

The concrete “swirl” that stood in front of Dillard’s was ravaged during the mall’s Wild West years. | JEFF RYALS

Of all the things that made Jamestown Mall unique, this was the one that sealed its fate: JVJ tried to get a jump on anticipated growth in the area and decided to build the mall before residential neighborhoods had really developed. And then somebody figured out — whoops! — the area is full of sinkholes and not conducive to high-density development. Not only was the mall itself built on sinkhole land, in an area now recognized as “one of the finest examples of deep funnel-shaped sinkholes in the Continued on pg 22

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JAMESTOWN MALL Continued from pg 21

central United States” — with known sinkholes at the mall site still noted today on Division of Natural Resources maps — but all of those new subdivisions and households that the developer had gambled on in the early 1970s basically never materialized, all due to the geological wonder known as karst/sinkhole topography, now officially protected in the Florissant Karst Preservation District.

Alton Square was the beacon of doom. While the people of Alton may have celebrated their new mall in 1978, the manager of Jamestown Mall definitely did not. As you can see in early advertising, one of the primary customer pools that JVJ had expected to tap was Madison County, Illinois. So when a new enclosed “square” opened just 11 miles across the river in Alton, in the heart of Madison County, it drew countless Illinois (and Missouri) customers away from Jamestown and truly hobbled its success moving

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forward. What also didn’t help was the molasses-like process of upgrading nearby Highway 367, which would have allowed faster, easier access to Jamestown Mall from both St. Louis and Illinois. In the works for decades, it was finally completed in 2007 … one year after an original Jamestown anchor, Dillard’s, had already closed, and the mall was already many years into its long, slow death spiral. The mall expansion in 1994 did add a Famous-Barr and a JC Penney, as well as 40,000 square feet of interior space and a new food court. But in my opinion, it actually ruined the vibe of the original mall concept and just felt kind of disjointed. I moved to Los Angeles a year later and didn’t visit Jamestown Mall again for quite a while. When I finally came back, honestly, the thrill was gone. The joy was gone. Most of the plants and fountains were gone! It just seemed like a bland, lifeless, patched-together shopping center desperately trying to hold on. I was sad to see the mall finally close in 2014 after slowly declining for so long. I was even sadder when I started seeing videos

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When I saw the recent press conference with local politicians “celebrating” the mall’s demolition, I certainly had mixed emotions. online of looters and vandals violating the mall and its sculptures, and books showing photos of this “abandoned” vessel in its final descent. I found those very painful to look at, and still do. When I saw the recent press conference with local politicians “celebrating” the mall’s demolition, I certainly had mixed emotions. I understand the need to remove a building that’s now an eyesore and health hazard, and I know that it’s taken a lot of work to get to this point. I hope this

can be a catalyst for renewal in this corner of north county. But for those of us who experienced Jamestown Mall in that brief window of time when it was really alive, this is not a cause for celebration. It’s a sad and bittersweet ending to the wonderful vision the developers had all those years ago. It’s also the loss of a physical space that was an architectural, horticultural and artistic gem ... and a lush and beautiful “town square” that offered anyone the chance to escape and enjoy it, even if you didn’t have a single dollar in your pocket. So if there’s anything to celebrate, it’s our memories. All of us. The millions and millions of memories — good, bad and otherwise — all created in this farflung, destined-to-fail, magnificent jewel box where we shopped and worked and gathered for 41 years. Farewell, Jamestown Mall. You never should have existed, but you sure were loved! n Shannon Howard is a St. Louis writer, old house realtor and local history researcher and storyteller. She invites you to share your own mall memories at Remembering Jamestown Mall on Facebook.

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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CALENDAR

BY RIVERFRONT TIMES STAFF

THURSDAY 11/23 Gravy Boat As much as we all love Thanksgiving, let’s admit the truth: The holiday has some pitfalls. Do you really need to listen to your aunt debate your cousin about the culture war de jour? Even worse, do you really need to watch the Detroit Lions? This year, switch it up and take your family — or just you and your partner, or maybe just yourself — on a luxury Thanksgiving Brunch Cruise. That’s right, this Turkey Day the 105-foot Skipperliner yacht Miss Augusta departs from Klondike Park (4600 Highway 94 South, Augusta; 636-949-7535) in Augusta, Missouri, for a pair of two-hour cruises on the Missouri River. Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, potatoes, pastries and, of course, roasted turkey are all on the menu. Tickets start at $66 and the ship sets sail at 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. Tickets and more info at missaugustaboat.com.

Some Like It Trot A lot of people probably view the annual Turkey Trot tradition as the last chance to burn some calories before consuming an inordinate amount of them, mostly in pie form, at the Thanksgiving table. However, we’d argue that it’s actually the other way around, and that you need those calories at the end of the day to recover from the full-on athletic activity that is the Turkey Trot. Let’s face it: If you’re a semi-competitive runner this is a chance to test yourself in a hometown race where you can probably score a place or prize that will elude you in the Boston Marathon come April. If you never run, this is a chance to escape your extended family for 30 minutes and possibly get the most exercise you’ve had all year. And if you’re somewhere in the middle, this is still a chance to go all out. Regardless of the specifics, you’ll really, really need those third helpings later in the evening. The area has plenty of fine trots to choose from, but we’d argue for the Olivette Turkey Trot, which takes place in picturesque

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Olivette’s Turkey Trot affords calorie-conscious St. Louisans a great excuse to throw caution to the wind at Thanksgiving dinner. | VIA FLICKR/JBLM MWR Stacy Park (9750 Old Bonhomme Road, Olivette; 314-993-0444), is very reasonably priced at $12 to $30, welcomes dog runners and donates part of its proceeds to the Harvey Kornblum Food Pantry. Plus, the race has Urban Chestnut’s fine brews at its end, which is one of the best incentives to run fast that we’ve come across. For more info, visit olivettemo. com/511/Olivette-Turkey-Trot.

FRIDAY 11/24 Hallelujah, Holy Shit Going to see a movie at a regular theater can be such a chore, between the uncomfortable seats, the stale popcorn and the seemingly neverending cavalcade of green-screened, soulless superhero schlock. But catching a flick at the Alamo Drafthouse (3765 Foundry Way, Suite 275; 314-6692079) is a different story. Not only do you get to watch the movie in your own personal cushy seat, you can also get (actually good) food and cocktails delivered straight to your chair at the press of a button. Perhaps best of all, the pioneering theater doesn’t restrict its showings to the latest attractions, instead choosing to

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Get your holiday cheer by the glass at the Tinseltown pop-up bar. | VIA FLICKR/TOM IPRI run cinema classics as a way to tap into the enduring moviegoing nostalgia of a certain handful of older generations. To that end, this holiday season the Drafthouse is putting 1989’s indelible National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation up on the big screen. Join the Griswold family as they navigate a minefield of unexpected houseguests, full shitters, yuppie neighbors and exploding decorations in the noble pursuit of a merry Christmas. The John Hughes-penned holiday classic,

the highest-grossing of the Vacation films and a cultural touchstone to this day, will show at 6 p.m. on Friday, November 24, 12 p.m. on Saturday, November 25, and 5:30 p.m. Monday, November 27. Admission is $13 for the weekend showings and $18.99 for the prop-filled Monday night Movie Party. For tickets and more details, visit drafthouse.com/st-louis.

Holiday Spirits What’s better than getting drunk

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Best Buy’s Black Friday deals got nothing on the Hustler Club’s. | VIA FLICKR/BRH IMAGES flappy bits in your general direction without a discount involved. Luckily your late Uncle Larry has you covered. Admission to the club runs from $7 to $20, and the savings start at noon. For more information, visit stlouishustlerclub.com.

SATURDAY 11/25 Give your pup the royal treatment at Ciao Chow’s Paint Your Pet event. | VIA FLICKR/ALAN LEVINE Green Light … with the spirit of Christmas? At Tinseltown: The Christmas Speakeasy, St. Louisans will have a chance to experience a true adult Christmas. From Santa’s elves and tinsel to a Christmasthemed specialty cocktail menu, the Tinseltown pop-up is not wasting any time in getting to work celebrating the sparkle of the holiday season. Utopia Studios (3957 Park Avenue, 314-773-3660) in the city’s Botanical Heights neighborhood will be decorated to the nines, with “baubles, bows, hanging trees, wreaths and just about every festive goodie ever,” according to promotional materials. Although the event is 21-plus, family-friendly sessions will also be offered for those under the drinking age. The $15 admission fee also includes a complimentary Christmas-themed cocktail. The fun kicks off at 5:30 p.m on Friday, November 24, and will run through December 30. Times vary. Tickets and more info at vi-

ralventuresusa.ticketspice.com/ tinsel-town-st-louis-.

Tits the Season Nothing says “holiday shopping season” like a trip to an east side strip club. While all the suckers and rubes spend their postThanksgiving start to the weekend fistfighting over the latest in consumer electronics, you, a sophisticate, know that the smart play is to head across the bridge for Black Friday at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club (5420 Bunkum Road, Washington Park, Illinois; 618874-9334). Here you’ll find such holiday doorbuster deals as free couch dances, bed dances and hoodies from noon to 2 p.m., halfprice happy hour drinks from 6 to 9 p.m. and a 20 percent discount on all VIP rooms until midnight. With inflation the way it’s been the last few years, you simply cannot afford to allow some kind stranger to shake their uncovered

It’s the same every year: Thanksgiving passes and stores instantaneously transition to yo ur - Chr is tmas - can - o n l y- be good-if-you-buy-a-bunch-of-shit mode. It’s not like you can be a grinch and say no to the consumerist obligation to buy gifts — but we do know a way you can fulfill your holiday season obligations and not feel like another cog in the Earth-killing machine. The Green Gift Bazaar at Post Commons (300 Alby Street, Alton, Illinois; 618-433-8871) and Jacoby Arts Center (627 East Broadway, Alton, Illinois; 618-462-5222) has a variety of environmentally friendly gift ideas to keep your holiday festive and guilt-free. Each item is made from recycled or upcycled materials and was either fair trade or handcrafted in the U.S. The event celebrates Small Business Saturday and will bring more than 40 vendors from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, November 25. Admission is free, and

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more information can be found at downtownalton.com/events/ green-gift-bazaar. Depending on where you live, the drive to Alton may offset whatever carbon you saved by buying green. But hey, at least you tried.

WEDNESDAY 11/29 Art from the Heart What do you get the pet who has everything? When you’ve already showered them with toys, and they have more bully sticks and pig ears than any dog could possibly chew, what next? Clearly, only a portrait will do — just like 19th century European royalty, the master of your universe deserves to have their likeness captured in oils by a talented artist. There’s only one problem: For all your devotion to your pet, you’re a shitty painter. Fortunately, local pet boutique Ciao Chow (1927 Marconi Avenue, 314-410-8377) is ready to help. At 6 p.m. on Wednesday, November 29, they’ll guide a class of pet lovers through Paint Your Pet, an evening devoted to, yes, pet portraits. Your $50 fee gets you access to paints and an instructor; you should come with a pre-sketched canvas. Half the proceeds go to the All Paws Safe Haven Rescue, just like your pet would want. See the Facebook event for more details. n

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CAFE

Express Tour Kabul Express’ multifaceted, multicultural dishes delight and surprise in the Patch Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Kabul Express 7704 Ivory Street, 314-499-4369. Mon.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. (Closed Sun.)

auash Adalat was born in Afghanistan but moved when he was a child to India, then to Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Russia and, eventually, Germany. All this context coalesces when you taste the chicken tikka masala at his Patch neighborhood restaurant, Kabul Express. It’s a staple of Indian cuisine so ubiquitous, you likely have its taste committed to memory — until you try Adalat’s version and feel your flavor pathways being rewired. In place of the typical, almost poached pieces of chicken, the tikka masala at Kabul Express contains hearty hunks of meat infused with such deep char flavor you can taste Afghanistan’s kabob heritage though the sauce. And that sauce — though you get the expected flavor profile from the masala spices, here they are more intense and vibrant. The color, too, is more vivid: a bright red-orange that underscores its mouthwatering snap. Familiar to a point but also unlike anything else you’ve ever tasted — it’s the sort of dish that can only come from someone influenced as much by tradition as their own unique journey. Ever since he was a child watching his parents cook, Adalat knew he was meant to express his experiences through food. Though he received no formal culinary education, he spent a great deal of time helping his family prepare dishes and, as he got older, became enamored with videos featuring people from a variety of cultures demonstrating how to prepare traditional dishes. Adalat soaked it in, but he always felt compelled to put his own twist on things, adding a little extra seasoning here or a bit more spice there, relishing the experimentation. Food was a hobby for Adalat, but

Kabul Express relocated from south county to the Patch in search of a larger space with a dining area. | MABEL SUEN

Chef-owner Kauash Adalat got his start in food watching his parents cook at home. | MABEL SUEN he didn’t think of it as a career until well after arriving in the United States as an adult. After meeting his wife at a wedding in St. Louis, Adalat relocated here from Germany, got married and supported his family by taking on a variety of different jobs. One of them, a

server position, gave him some insight into the area’s restaurant industry and sparked the idea that he might open a place of his own one day. In 2016, those dreams became reality when he came across a small turnkey storefront in south St. Louis County. It felt man-

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ageable and was within his budget; sensing this was his chance, he signed the paperwork on the space and opened Kabul Express as a tiny takeout restaurant. Adalat enjoyed success right out of the gate and developed a loyal following for his unique interpretations of internationally inflected Afghan dishes. But over time, he realized that he would need a much larger space. In March of this year, he found that spot in the Patch neighborhood and relocated Kabul Express as an expanded, sit-down restaurant. The extra space allows him to not only accommodate more diners and provide more formal service; it has given him the capacity to expand his menu, pairing familiar favorites such as gyros and shawarma with kabobs and other offerings. You understand the warm reception Adalat’s food has received over the years the moment you taste the offerings at Kabul Express. The chicken tikka masala is no anomaly; every last dish at this wonderful restaurant is packed with flavor. The chicken shawarma wrap, for instance, has the

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Chickpea masala and kidney bean stew are two vegetarian offerings. | MABEL SUEN

Appetizers include a veggie sambusa with chutney. | MABEL SUEN

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familiar pulled texture as a traditional Middle Eastern shawarma, but it is amped up with a rub that tastes like yellow curry. The spice blend perfumes the succulent meat, which is wrapped in soft, grilled naan and accented with crispy lettuce and a house dressing that is like a combination of tzatziki and raita. It’s a wonderful take on such a quintessential dish. Adalat’s take on the gyro is equally wonderful. Instead of the typical shaved, compressed meat, Kabul Express’ version has a more rustic, chopped texture. This results in juicy meat that is coated in his riff on tzatziki and overstuffed into a pillow-soft naan — not a shocking departure from the standard gyro playbook, but different enough that it registers as a refreshing new twist. Kabobs are exactly what you want. The chicken is tender and marinated in warm spices, then grilled so that its edges crisp up with delicious char. The beef kabob is a showstopper; marinated, seasoned with tangy sumac and perfectly grilled, the meat is fork tender, its juices soaking into the wonderful Kabuli rice that serves as a base for the dish. Adalat serves both kabobs with a piquant green chutney made from pureed jalapeños, cilantro and vinegar that tastes like a verdant pepperoncini. Adalat jokes that people love the condiment so much that they ask for extras and basically do shooters of it. It’s understandable. This chutney dressing also features prominently on the falafel salad, which pairs well-seasoned

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The grill gives Kabul Expess’ kabobs their distinctive char. | MABEL SUEN rustic chickpea fritters with lettuce, diced tomatoes and cucumbers. The chutney’s heat is softened by the cool vegetables, which cut through the falafel’s deep-fried richness. The dressing is also served alongside the samosa appetizer, an outstanding interpretation of the classic South Asian snack. Here, the mixedvegetable filling is perfumed with spices such as cumin and cardamom, but there is also a significant chile heat that doesn’t over-

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power but warms every bite. The crust, too, is a marvel — so flaky it feels like a cross between a traditional samosa and a puff pastry. If the chicken tikka masala felt like a subtle departure from the norm, the chickpea masala turns the norm completely upside down. Adalat’s take on the dish is quite unique — more of a masala paste than a sauce — which intensifies the flavor. He also adds a generous amount of tender braised greens to the chickpeas

so that it’s an equal mix. Hearty, soulful and powerfully spiced, it offers the sort of warm, stewed comfort you want as the days get colder and darker. Though really, Adalat’s food is so uniquely delicious, you could eat it any time of year — every day, even — and it would still hit the spot. n

Kabul Express Chicken tikka masala ��$14�95 Gyro �� $9�95 Beef kabob ��$14�95

SHORT ORDERS

Frank Romano (left) and Stanley Browne (right) are two of Madrina’s co-owners. | JESSICA ROGEN

[FIRST LOOK]

Years in the Making Madrina, a new “upscale casual” Italian spot in Webster Groves, draws on deep relationships and food industry knowledge Written by

JESSICA ROGEN

he story of Madrina (101 West Lockwood Avenue, Webster Groves; 314-963-1976; madrinastl.com) goes back 30 years. At least, that’s how coowner Frank Romano tells it. At the time, Romano was in high school, and he needed a job. Naturally, he turned to his godmother, Sister Helen Negri, a Catholic nun who was also the CEO of Marygrove. She brought Romano to meet Kemoll’s owner Mark Cusumano and asked him to give her godson a job. It was a favor, apparently, that he couldn’t refuse. Romano began working at Kemoll’s, where one of his duties

was polishing wine glasses. One day, one of the wine reps, Stanley Browne, was holding a tasting. “Stanley looked at me and goes, ‘Where’s your glass?’” Romano says. “And I looked at my boss, Doug, and he said, ‘Go get a glass.’ So I was allowed to swirl and sniff.” Just a high school junior at the time, Romano made his entry in the world of wine. It was also the beginning of his friendship with Browne and, arguably, the first step down the path that would lead the duo to invent an Italian restaurant in the heart of historic Webster Groves. Madrina, which is Italian for “godmother” as a nod to Sister Negri, will open on Friday, November 24, in what used to be CJ Muggs. It’s come to be thanks to Browne — who along with his wife Arlene Maminta Browne own Robust Bistro and Wine Bar — along with Laura Burns, who co-owns the Parkmoor Drive-in with Romano. Browne and Romano describe their new concept as Italian and of the “timeless, classic, mid-century” variety. That vibe is clear in the space’s design — from both Helen Lee of Tao + Lee Associates and Burns, who owns designlab, inc. and Girls Will Be — which is dark and moody with chic gray wood-paneled walls with touches of red throughout, including on the sumptuous booths that

Linguine con vongole is one of the restaurant’s main dishes. | JESSICA ROGEN line the walls of the dining area. Windows line the exterior walls, bringing the rooms pops of light. There is also a large horseshoeshaped bar that Browne says will naturally be the loudest area of the restaurant. Each adjacent dining space gets quieter and quieter — a rule that holds sway all the way down to the restaurant’s private events space, which at 1,200 square feet (and with its own bar), will have a capacity to hold parties of 50 guests in addition to the main space’s 180 seats. But despite Madrina’s classy looks, Browne and Romano say that it is not intended to be fine dining, but rather “upscale casual.” That means customers can pop in just for a glass of wine and an appetizer during the bar’s weekday aperitivo. “You can splurge, too,” Browne says. “It’s still a neighborhood restaurant, but the idea is it’s going to have a further reach.” The duo say that splurging (or even that quick after-work stop) is going to look different than it would at most of St. Louis’ other Italian restaurants. That’s because they are incorporating a farm-totable ethos and tapping into classic recipes. That might look like the restaurant’s fritto misto, which fries shrimp and fresh artichokes and fennel and serves them with a buttermilk sauce, or the carbon-

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ara, made the traditional way with egg yolks instead of cream, Parmigiano-Reggiano and guanciale, all brought together with a splash of starchy pasta water. The menu also includes a linguini con vongole with cherrystone clams and a beautiful dish of large scallops scented with garlic. Romano explains that they will be cutting their own steaks, noting that they were excited to get in their dry-aged porterhouses this week. “Getting the bill wasn’t exciting,” he says with a laugh. “The size was like … when you get one of those, like, that’s good.” Madrina will serve a bistecca alla fiorentina, a four-pound porterhouse steak that is big enough for two — and possibly a whole party. Romano and Browne describe it as the ideal dish to pair with a variety of the restaurant’s contorni, such as confit fingerling potatoes or Parmesan-roasted Brussels sprouts and the Mayfair salad. There will also be a substantial bar program, with Italian-inspired cocktails such as a twist on an aperol spritz and a limoncello spritz that pairs the Tuscan aperitif with prosecco, soda water and rosemary. Madrina will have a wine list of Italian and domestics arranged in two columns so that customers accustomed to American varietals can peruse Italian

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MADRINA

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varietals that offer something similar but might be less known. Browne throws out the example of a pinot noir and a Mount Etna rosa from Sicily. “We’re just trying to encourage that, ‘Hey, if you like this, try the Italian version,’” Browne says. “Some people know the big-name Italian stuff, but there’s a thousand different great varietals in Italy alone.” Madrina’s vision is so thoroughly defined one might imagine that Browne and Romano have been planning the restaurant ever since that first meeting 30 years ago. But things came together a lot faster than that. Out of respect for Kemoll’s, Romano had always said that he would never open an Italian restaurant. “I didn’t want to cross the family,” he says. But then, in December 2022, Cusamano closed the storied establishment, and the following May, Browne and Stanley learned that the new owner of CJ Muggs wanted out. Within minutes, the two were bouncing ideas off each other — and then, within 15 minutes, they knew what they wanted to make. Construction began in August. “Just under 90 days to remodel and rebuild a restaurant,” Romano says. “This is within 10 days of our original timeline.” It’s an impressive turnaround, and one that’s been helped along with what Browne calls the “18 rock star management team,” which includes familiar names such as executive chef Max Crask, owner of Ices Plain and Fancy; advanced sommelier Alisha Blackwell-Calvert, known for Cinder House, Elaia and Olio; general manager Charlie Bongner from the Napoli brands; assistant general manager Rhiannon Beckley from Anthonino’s Taverna, the Pitch and Four Seasons; and bar manager Brian Clark from Tin Roof. With all that in place, all that’s left to do is open. Madrina plans to begin welcoming guests on Friday, November 24. “We’re excited,” Browne says, “just to get the doors open and start taking care of people and show the space and our hospitality.” “Building a restaurant, making it look nice, is fun, to a certain extent,” Romano adds. “But the real fun for us, the fulfilling part, is having guests in the seats and talking to them and seeing their reaction to what we built.” n

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Leveling Up Two Plumbers Bar + Arcade’s expansion offers the same nostalgia plus more brews, room and an events space in St. Charles Written by

TONY REHAGEN

obert Schowengerdt and John Simon had decided they were tired of being grownups. The former was a collector of vintage arcade games who was burnt out at his day job animating training videos for the CDC; the latter was a microbiologist in the pharmaceutical industry who daydreamed about getting back to his hobby of homebrewing. When they were both laid off around the same time in 2014, Schowengerdt called Simon with an idea: Why not combine their diversions and open a business together? “I had always dreamed of opening an arcade, but I could never figure out a way to make enough money to stay in business,” Schowengerdt says. “So I told John if he’d give up having a real job and come work with me, I’ll do all the paperwork. I’ve got all these arcade games that nobody plays anymore; we can throw them in the bar and be different than any other brewery. There are bar arcades popping up all over the country, and there was only one other brewery arcade in the country that we knew of. Maybe it’s a good idea? Worst case, they’d look cool in the background if no one played them. We got lucky and hit the nostalgia nail on the head, timewise.” In March 2017, Two Plumbers Brewery + Arcade emerged from the green pipe, took that running leap from the top of the stairs and grabbed the castle flag, pulling in beer nerds, gamers and pinball wizards from all over the metro area. Warp ahead six and a half years, and Two Plumbers (745 Friedens Road, St. Charles; 636-2248626, twoplumbers.com) has just leveled up to a new 8,200-square-foot building with more than twice as much space for brewing, events and just about any kind of game you can imagine. At the time of its inception, the barcade was indeed a novelty. Outside of Trailhead Brewing Co. (downtown St. Charles), Exit 6 Brewery (Cottleville) and Friendship Brewing Company (all the way out in Wentzville), there wasn’t a lot of craft beer on that side of the Missouri River. And if you wanted to drink while leaning on a joystick, you were either at a holiday work party at Dave & Busters or you were “that person” ordering a Bud at Chuck E. Cheese or Kokomo Joe’s. But that wasn’t the only thing that set Two Plumbers apart. The partners

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Two Plumbers Bar + Arcade is for gamers and beer geeks alike. | COURTESY PHOTO launched with the goal of keeping it 8-bitauthentic. Simon’s core beers were classic English styles, such as the sweet and easy-drinking blonde ale Pauline (named after the distressed damsel from Donkey Kong), the roasty and smooth Braunem Mantel brown ale and the slightly smokey Irish red ale Magic Potion (originally dubbed “Healing Potion” until the state squashed the moniker for suggesting medicinal properties). Likewise, the gameplay was straight out of a 1990s mall arcade, with chipmusic-blaring cabinets including Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (“Cowabunga!”), NBA Jam (“He’s on fire!”) and even Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker (“Woo! Shamone!”). There was also Skee-Ball and bubble hockey, and thanks to Katie Schowengerdt, Robert’s wife and Princess Peach to his and Simon’s Mario and Luigi (and not the helpless, thankful princess from the original Super Mario Bros. but the badass levitating, telekinetic playable character from the sequels), there has always been a wall of flipper-flapping pinball machines. And there are no loadable cards or wristbands, just a change machine — all games run on cold hard quarters. “I assumed the games would lose money,” Schowengerdt says. “But they make enough to pay for their parts and for someone other than me to come in and maintain them.” While the arcade side of the business might not be a spreadsheet jackpot, it has proven vital to creating the unique atmosphere and faithful following that has kept the business in 1Ups through the years. Schowengerdt says the clientele ranges from gamers who only drink soda to beer geeks who belly up to the bar and ignore the din to board gamers who park at the communal tables and do their own thing. In 2018, the bar started a weekly beer pinball league that has proven fire-

flower hot — 45 players are currently signed up for the latest 10-week season. Eventually, enough people asked about renting out the entire barcade at its original First Capitol Drive location that, in 2020, just before the pandemic hit, the owners decided to buy a former Jehovah’s Witness church across I-70 at 745 Friedens and create a separate event space (Schowengerdt has no shortage of games, with more than 100 at home and in storage). The expansion also allowed Simon to grow his tiny two-barrel system to a seven-barrel that enabled the bar to slake their customers’ growing thirst while staying nimble enough to create small-batch specialties such as the chocolate-cinnamon-y Montezuma’s Blessing, the Dave cherrywood-smoked beer and a wide spectrum of popular ciders. Coming out of lockdown, it made sense to consolidate locations, and the cramped, leaky, rented strip-mall space at First Capitol was the odd property out. The plumbers (and many actual contractors) converted the first floor of the Friedens building into a more spacious replica of the original barcade layout that, as of October 28, entertains gamers and drinkers 21 and over during the week (it’s closed Monday) with special all-ages hours between noon and 6 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. Meanwhile, the owners are outfitting the second floor as an event space geared toward work parties, birthdays and weddings. But no matter the occasion, what Two Plumbers is selling is nostalgia — and not just for small-batch craft beer and ’90s arcade vibes. “When people walk in here, there’s always a smile on their face, even if they don’t play the games,” Schowengerdt says. “No one’s on their cell phone. They’re just communicating with each other. They’re just happy to be here. This is their time to be a kid again.” n

[SECOND LOOK]

Island of Misfit Toys The Crack Fox survived the pandemic by pivoting to craft cocktails and mocktails and expanding its audience base Written by

CHRIS ANDOE

he 1981 blockbuster film Escape from New York was shot in St. Louis because Hollywood knew it could pass off our beleaguered downtown as a post-apocalyptic Manhattan. While the urban canyons at our city’s core have far more residents and nighttime vitality today, they’ve retained some of that sinister, Gotham ambiance after the sun goes down. I pass the velvet ropes near the alley entrance to the Crack Fox (1114 Olive Street, 314-8285064, thecrackfox.com) on a chilly weeknight, and the tattooed man working the door says they are expecting me, waving me in. Long-

CHERYL BAEHR’S

FRENCH FRY PICKS While there is no such thing as a bad French fry, a truly extraordinary, crispy golden spud can make the jump from trusty sandwich sidekick to a culinary event in and of itself. These five restaurants are proof of that, elevating the humble fry to main event status. Wright’s Tavern Chef Cary McDowell is on a quest to make the perfect version of every last dish that graces the menu at Wright’s Tavern

Craft cocktails, like this boozy coffee, are a sign of changing times at the Crack Fox. | COURTESY PHOTO time owner Carrie Harris, who in appearance and demeanor reminds me a bit of Julianne Moore, met me at the bar, which was illuminated by colored lights and flickering candelabras. I told the bartender I prefer spicy drinks and was presented with a flight of what were referred to as Foxtails, the first being the Spicy Ginger. “This is made from our housemade ginger syrup, peppercorn and honey,” Harris says of the sharp and tasty concoction. Next up was the Mango Habanero Mule, which is a lively and delicious blend of mango habanero vodka, lime and ginger beer. The craft cocktails are a sign of

changing times at the Crack Fox. “Before the pandemic, we mostly served beer and shots,” Harris says, “but during the pandemic, we had to figure out how to stay relevant. How to adapt and survive.” And the bar survived by selling to-go cocktails and mocktails. The mocktails, which they call “Fauxtails,” represent 20 percent of the total sales. Bartender Richard Hudlin explains that Harris handcrafts her own syrups and fresh pressed juices and changes the menu for the seasons. “In the fall, we feature smoky and apple flavors,” he says. “In the winter, we’ll offer a Spellbound

(7624 Wydown Boulevard, Clayton; 314390-1466), so it’s no wonder his fries are some of the best you’ll ever experience. Getting them from their raw, russet form to the golden brown beauties that adorn your plate involves a painstaking process, but the result is a crisp, perfectly fried and salt-coated exterior and an interior the texture of potato fluff.

seasoned, these golden beauties are offered in either cacio e pepe, dill or hot styles — or you could get all three and truly make a night of it.

Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions What do you do with all the tallow you have laying around from being a whole animal butcher shop? Use it to cook your fries, of course. Chris Bolyard of Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions (2733 Sutton Boulevard, Maplewood; 314-6472567) serves brilliant beef-fat fries that have a stunning crispness and deep, rich flavor, ensuring that even a generous portion will be eaten in full. Planter’s House More than just a means of soaking up world-class boozy libations, the French fries at Planter’s House (1000 Mississippi Avenue, 314-696-2603) are a joy unto themselves. Crisp and perfectly

Eat Duckbill Eat Duckbill (inside Platypus, 4501 Manchester Avenue, 314-448-1622) owner Grant Heman may be known for his amazing popcorn chicken, but he puts just as much effort into his restaurant’s fry game. The potatoes are hand-cut to a thickness similar to Belgian fries and generously salted and seasoned. They’re delicious on their own but even better when dipped in his glorious ranch sauce. Fleur STL The fries at Fleur STL (622 Chouteau Avenue) are the quintessential skinny fry — crisp and larger than a shoestring but smaller than a medium-cut version and coated in a generous sprinkle of salt and black pepper. What makes them truly outstanding, though, is that they are served so searingly hot you can practically still hear the oil crackling when they are placed before you. n

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Garden with absinthe, and a Barrel Aged Manhattan, barreled for at least 30 days. Spring and Summer are light and bright, floral.” Vinnie Saletto handles the venue’s social media and says his aim is to show that the Crack Fox isn’t merely a dive bar, but a vibrant cultural hub. “The Crack Fox has earned a reputation as a sanctuary for the city’s misfits, eccentrics and artistic souls,” Saletto says. “This unassuming venue has undergone a spectacular transformation, evolving into a haven where creativity knows no bounds and diversity thrives. Harris is the visionary behind that transformation. In doing so, she has created a place where creativity and diversity are not just accepted but celebrated. The Crack Fox has become a canvas for self-expression, a place where individuality is revered, and where the eclectic tapestry of St. Louis comes to life.” The establishment has a large LGBTQ+ following, and the iconic drag queen Maxi Glamour has produced shows there for more than a decade. “It’s been a staple downtown for so long,” Glamour says. “It’s evolved from a raunchy bar where anything goes to a dark, sophisticated space that caters to larger audiences than the original goth clientele. I’ve done so many things there that no other bar would have permitted.” Six or seven nights a week (the bar is sometimes closed on Sunday) you can find an eclectic array of events. “From live music performances that resonate through the night to mesmerizing drag shows and captivating burlesque events, the venue hosts a myriad of entertainment options,” Saletto says. “Dance the night away to the beats of renowned EDM DJs, find your zen in yoga classes, unleash your creativity in painting sessions and discover unique treasures at the goth garage sale. The Crack Fox has become a canvas for expression, a stage for performers, and a marketplace for creative minds.” Hudlin says the venue is a place where anyone can go be themselves and be accepted, as long as they accept everyone else. The dense urban fabric surrounding the Crack Fox largely filters out those who wouldn’t belong, adding to a sense of camaraderie once ensconced on this “Island of Misfit Toys.” The music faded out as I left the alley, and a solitary woman strutted past me in a hooded purple velvet evening dress and heels, as if strutting down a runway. n

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REEFERFRONT TIMES [ L E G A L I Z AT I O N ]

Weed Legalization as a Path to Freedom A St. Charles man drew a long sentence for meth as a “prior and persistent” offender, but his prior offense has now been expunged Written by

RYAN KRULL

St. Charles man who is imprisoned on meth-related charges is hoping that Missouri’s new weed laws might allow him to get out before serving his entire 20-year sentence. In 2012, when a judge handed down that long sentence to Kurt Usry, 42, convicted of possessing a “shake and bake” meth lab,” he was treated as a prior and persistent offender. That status makes Usry ineligible for parole, meaning he has to serve the full two decades. Before his conviction for possessing a miniature meth lab in a two-liter bottle, Usry had been convicted of cocaine possession and selling marijuana. But that latter conviction has now been expunged under Amendment 3, which legalized marijuana in Missouri. So Usry and his attorney, Brian Cooke, argued in court filings last Monday that Usry should be resentenced, not as a prior and persistent offender but merely as a prior offender. Removing that “persistent” designation would make Usry eligible for parole. “No one that I’m aware of has tried this before,” Cooke tells the RFT. He says that Usry actually came up with the idea himself researching Missouri’s new marijuana laws in the prison law library, and then he contacted Cooke. The motion to be resentenced was filed in St. Charles County,

Kurt Usry is hoping that getting a prior weed offense expunged will help make him eligible for parole. | COURTESY PHOTO the jurisdiction where Usry was originally sentenced. “I think the judge will sign off on it, no problem, and then boom, we send that

paperwork off to DOC, and he gets paroled, hopefully immediately,” Cooke says. However, if that doesn’t happen, then the request

[ R E G U L AT I O N ]

Delta Extraction’s License Revoked Missouri previously ordered a massive recall of the cannabis company’s products Written by

JESSICA ROGEN

issouri’s Division of Cannabis Regulation says it will revoke the marijuana manufacturing license of a facility at the center of a controversial recall. The revocation will go into effect December 2. On August 14, state regulators issued a recall on cannabis products made by Delta Extraction, saying they posed a risk to health and public safety and included THC sourced from outside the state. The recall list stretched to 60,000 and included products ranging from flower to edibles to cartridges to concentrates.

The state will yank the license, citing various offenses. | VIA FLICKR/LINDSEY FOX Some 14,000-plus were later removed from the recall. Earlier in the month, Delta Extraction admitted that it had imported THC-A, which was hemp-derived, from outside

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will have to work its way through appellate courts, which can take years. Cooke says that he met with Usry last week, and Usry said that the now-expunged marijuana conviction was for selling $40 worth of weed to an undercover cop. While locked up, Usry said he completed a number of programs including vocational classes and was even at one point told that if he completed a 180-day intensive drug treatment program he would be let out of prison. However, after he completed the program, the prison officials realized Usry was parole-ineligible, and he remained incarcerated. Cooke says that he believes the 20-year sentence was harsh to begin with. Usry’s meth “lab” was a bottle that yielded only a few grams of the drug for personal use. When Usry was 19, he pleaded guilty to one charge of aggravated stalking. In 1999, Usry was a passenger in the car with an older man who was driving and ran two teenagers off the road in St. Charles, killing them. Usry was charged because he had previously made threatening phone calls to one of the victims’ houses. n the state. That practice is prohibited by Missouri law under Article XIV. “While Delta Extraction’s use of out-ofstate cannabis in our regulated system has been well-publicized and is a critical issue, DCR also found numerous other violations of rules at this facility,” said Amy Moore, director of the DCR, in a statement. “... We must be clear on this: Businesses that choose to participate in Missouri’s marijuana industry do not get to decide which rules and which parts of Article XIV they want to follow.” Regulators also say that Delta allowed its products to be sold without proper testing, didn’t follow and then falsified required seed-to-sale tracking, didn’t make its products traceable within the manufacturing process, packaged its products in a “misleading manner” and didn’t have security at its facility as is required by the state and was even storing weed in the building’s hallways, among many other things. Delta Extraction co-founders Jack Maritz and Ted Maritz are disputing at least one part of that: the illegality of THC-A. The duo told Greenway Magazine last week that the rule that restricted the use of the additive only went into effect on July 30 of this year. n

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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CULTURE

[VISUAL ART]

Sketched into Memory SLU Museum’s Marlon West exhibit, Ink Tributes, honors victims of state violence with comic book art Written by

ANGELO VIDAL

hen I heard that an art exhibition featuring comic-book-style portraits of Black people who had been killed by police was coming to St. Louis, I was apprehensive about seeing it. I’m talking about Marlon West’s Ink Tributes, a series of sketches by the University City native turned award-winning Disney animator on display now at the Saint Louis University Museum of Art (3663 Lindell Boulevard, slu.edu/sluma) through Saturday, December 30. Let me explain myself. In America, the loss of Black life is ubiquitous, and police killings are a neverending drumbeat. I wondered how an art form most associated with Marvel superheroes and fantasy could convey this reality, and if it would blur the lines between the two. How could two-dimensional, black-and-white drawings render the deceased in all of their humanity, and without sensationalizing Black grief? But Ink Tributes challenged my expectations. West’s installation choices, breadth of subjects and realistic style create a powerful viewing experience that illuminates generations of Black struggle. That West invites his hometown of St. Louis, a city with a long, fraught history of police violence, to bear witness makes it that much more powerful. The exhibition features four gallery rooms filled wall to wall with more than 30 comic-style portraits of state violence victims, including George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Michael

The exhibit includes four galleries filled with more than 30 comic-style portraits of state violence victims. | ANGELO VIDAL Brown, Sandra Bland and many others. West’s artworks also depict departed civil rights activists and defenders of justice, such as Freedom Riders C.T. Vivian and John Lewis, as well as Gloria Richardson Dandridge and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Viewers begin their journey through Ink Tributes by reading an introductory passage by West, etched onto a wall placard. “For many of us Black nerds, Marvel’s characters are particularly relatable,” he writes. “They are often hated and hunted by the powers that be. They are feared, despised, shunned and misunderstood. There isn’t a more American form of portraiture than black ‘inks’ over white, to honor those that faced this nation’s fear and loathing of the Black body.” West offers no guidance as to how viewers should move around the exhibition. Typically, comics read from left to right, but there is no chronological order to West’s portraits. Viewers wrestle with Trayvon Martin’s murder in 2012, for example, then travel back several years to witness the shooting of Sean Bell in 2006, and move forward in time again to when police killed Atatiana Jefferson in 2019. Each fatality occurs in a different

city, in a different state. The effect is disorienting, communicating that the horrors of police brutality transcend time and place. It sends a message reflective of Black Americans’ lived experience: that racist violence has been a constant threat throughout this country’s history. The breadth of subjects depicted in Ink Tributes furthers this point. West makes an effort to highlight names and faces of victims that have faded from our collective memory in comparison to those that dominated headlines. Some viewers may not know of Tony McDade, for example, a 38-yearold Black trans man who was shot and killed just two days after the murder of George Floyd. “McDade was the 12th transgender or nonconforming person to be fatally shot or killed in the U.S. during 2020 alone,” West writes. By including McDade, and others like him, in Ink Tributes, West is attempting to preserve their humanity, underscoring that antiBlack violence is so pervasive that many victims are reduced to overlooked statistics. Despite West’s inspiration from Marvel’s superhero comics, he doesn’t embellish his subjects’ appearance or attempt to portray them as superhuman. To do so

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would risk aestheticizing or even romanticizing Black death, as if their murders were heroic sacrifices rather than the tragic consequences of white supremacy and hatred. Instead, West adopts a realistic approach, using precise brushwork to recreate high-resolution photographs. These aren’t caricatures; they’re spitting images. West memorializes each subject as they were in life: ordinary people, with families and hopes and dreams. In our country, Black people have been dealt the tough hand of having to witness our own murders, mourn our dead and do the emotional labor of telling the epic tale of suffering just to get society to stop killing us. West’s Ink Tributes is the latest attempt in a long history of that struggle. I hope that a future awaits us where the appeal is no longer necessary, but until then, it is imperative to acknowledge this narrative, lest it be forgotten as history continues to repeat itself. n The Saint Louis University Museum of Art is free and open to the public from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday. For more information on Ink Tributes, visit slu.edu/sluma.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NEWS

[GOOD CAUSES]

The Man with the Mouth Organ Now retired from his day job, harmonica impresario Phil Wright is all in on his annual ALS fundraiser, Phillipalooza Written by

STEVE LEFTRIDGE

e is Phil “the Thrill” Wright. The Wright Stuff. The man guitar hero Sean Canan calls the “St. Louis Phil-Harmonica.” Phil Wright is the man who can go in and out all night long. We’re talking, of course, about blowing the harmonica, and Wright is St. Louis’ current go-to blues-harp baron, the sultan of sixteen holes. He’s also the man behind Phillipalooza, the annual concerts held in honor of his late father, Phillip Wright, who died from Lou Gehrig’s disease in 2006. This year’s two-night event will take place December 1 and 2 at Old Rock House with proceeds supporting the ALS Association. Despite Wright’s status as a firstcall harmonicist, the 50-year-old was a late-blooming blower: He was well into his 20s before he owned his first harmonica, a fluke $10 purchase at a Cracker Barrel while on vacation. Before that, he was sitting in with area Deadcentric bands as a percussionist, a hobby he had taken up at as a student Hannibal-LaGrange College in Hannibal, Missouri, on a baseball scholarship back in the mid-’90s. Wright can trace his love of classic blues-based rock back to the Memphis area, where he was born and raised just across the Arkansas state line. His parents, both teachers, lost two infants to muscular defects, which led to their decision to adopt Phil (renamed after his adoptive father) when the boy was three. His par-

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Phil Wright learned from St. Louis’ harmonica greats. | NICHOLE OLEA ents opened up the world of music to him with piano lessons, visits to Graceland and his dad’s record collection. “My dad’s midlife crisis wasn’t a Ferrari. It was a jukebox,” Phil says. “It was an oldschool Wurlitzer with 45s of the Band, the Allman Brothers. He set a stack of quarters on the shuffleboard table next to the jukebox.” All that early blues-rock training came into play when Wright held that first cheap harmonica in 2004. Shortly after, the band he was playing percussion for, the Lightning Bottle Band, broke into “Sweet Home Chicago” at Soulard’s 1860 Saloon in the right key for Wright’s C harp. Within two weeks, Wright was playing harp on a full set of the band’s songs. “It was a lot of trial and error,” Wright says. “I remember the first time I bent a note. It was kind of an accident. I was, like, ‘Whoa, that was cool. I didn’t know I could do that!” He also sought advice from some of the harmonica greats around town, including Howard Young and Eric McSpadden. “The first time I saw [McSpadden], I was 19 years old at the Big Muddy Blues Fest on the Landing,” Wright remembers. “I just stopped in my tracks and was, like, ‘Holy hell!’” Those legends gave him pointers, and Wright started adding better harps and gear to his arsenal. “Pretty soon, I started using pedals and found my own way of do-

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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ing it,” he says. And he has never stopped. Wright has played in dozens of bands and combos over the years, including swamp-funk favorites the Scandeleros, the Dead tribute Alligator Wine and duet shows with Americana mainstay Cree Rider. Sean Canan fans know Wright as one of the original Voodoo Players who has been in numerous incarnations over the last decade, honking on the harp during tributes to the Dead, the Allman Brothers, Willie Nelson, the Stones and several others. Notably, Wright performs the roles of John Belushi’s Elwood in the Voodoo Blue Brothers party and Ronnie Hawkins in the annual Voodoo recreation of The Last Waltz, coming up on November 25 at the Pageant. All told, Wright has played an average of two to three nights a week for years (“Broadway Oyster Bar is home away from home,” he says), which is especially amazing considering that for all that time, he has been a full-time English teacher at Hazelwood West High School. How does a guy regularly play beer-soaked bar gigs into the wee hours on school nights and get up and teach the next day? “I’ve never needed a ton of sleep,” he jokes. “It wasn’t that difficult until I got older and closer to retirement.” Impressively, Wright was able to reach full retirement from public school teaching last

year just before hitting his 50th birthday. Still, old habits die hard. “Sometimes I still wake up after gigs at 8 o’clock and panic that I’ve overslept for teaching,” he says. Around Christmas of 2005, Wright’s father was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, which Wright says had been “hanging over my father his whole life.” That’s because Wright’s father’s father, grandfather, brother and sister all died from the disease. “His dad was bed-ridden for much of his life,” Wright says. “His brother was in bed for three years, his sister for two years. My dad was very active. He said, ‘I never want to be in a wheelchair. I never want to be bedridden. If this is what I have, I want it to be quick.’” It was. Diagnosed in January, the elder Phil Wright was gone by the end of May 2006. He was 58. If the younger Wright had not been adopted, ALS would be a cloud over his head as well. Instead, he is driven to help others suffering from the disease. The first Phillipalooza concert to raise money for ALS was held at Lucas School House in 2006 featuring a lineup of local bands. The next year it moved to Old Rock House, where it has been held annually in December ever since. Eventually, in 2013, so many bands were asking to play Phillipallooza, the event expanded to two nights and has now been a tradition 17 years running. This year’s lineup is perhaps the festival’s most impressive yet, featuring One Way Traffic, the Scanderleros, Brother Francis & the Soultones, Grooveliner and Colt Ball & Friends on Friday, December 1; the Funky Butt Brass Band, Sean Canan’s Voodoo Players (playing Jimmy Buffett), Alligator Wine, Madahoochi, Emily Wallace and Moon Valley on Saturday, December 2. The shows will be hosted by Wright’s 22-year-old son, Jack, who was four years old when his grandfather died. “He remembers going to get hot dogs with him,” Wright says. “They spent a lot of time together.” And what better way to keep remembering him than to bring the best of St. Louis’ musical treasures together for two nights to raise voices, money and spirits? And maybe to play a few songs from that old jukebox, complete with harmonica. n

[CLUB]

Rave Against the Machine Materia is bringing huge monthly raves to a warehouse venue in north St. Louis Written by

MONICA OBRADOVIC

o one seems to care that the building next to the club is on fire. It’s about 11:30 p.m., and people in the line of twenty-somethings outside Mississippi Underground in St. Louis’ Near North Riverfront neighborhood are much more preoccupied with the music thumping from the venue than the smoke billowing from what looks like an abandoned building across the street. Either that, or they’re busy snapping pictures of their fits, smoking cigs or peeing in the overgrown grass in front of the Cotton Belt Freight Depot. The fire wasn’t what mattered anyway (and by the end of the night, the building seemed fine). Everyone was there for an experience — one they’d be hardpressed to find anywhere else in St. Louis. A rotating set of DJs — most from St. Louis, with guests from New York or Los Angeles — play anything from house music to trance. Bodies inside the giant converted warehouse move almost in unison as they dance. Lasers cast a multi-colored glow. This is Materia. Call it a “rave,” call it a “party.” Whatever it is, the tight-knit collective of local DJs hosting these nights knew they were something St. Louis needed when they created the monthly event two years ago. “While there was definitely no shortage of raves and electronic music, there was something missing in terms of a party that felt like how we wanted a party to feel,” says Billy Harned, a DJ and lighting artist who goes by the moniker Sweeet. The group, consisting of Umami, Manapool, Nadir, Sweeet and Eric Donté, wanted to create a place where they could hear “good club music,” Nadir says. Before the rave had its name, he and Manapool hosted events in small basement venues. Manapool sought something other than the “sanitized” local club scene. Nadir wanted an outlet for something “emotive” and contemporary. “There wasn’t anywhere we could go to be in the type of space we wanted to be in,” Nadir says. “We had to start with

A recent Materia event drew 1,500 revelers. | BILLIE HUANG ourselves.” Their collaboration began when Manapool, a.k.a. Alexandra Layton, arrived at a punk show in St. Louis about two years ago. She pulled up to a bar while blasting music by Russian artist Locked Club. When she turned off her car, she heard the song continuing to play. It was Nadir, playing the same song inside. “I was like, ‘I gotta meet this guy right now,’” Layton says. At that point, Layton says she was playing shows in Los Angeles and New York but struggled to get booked in her hometown. At the time, no one was playing the edgy, more raw music she was attached to. And as a trans woman embedded in gaming and anime culture, she felt her image didn’t jive with certain “normie EDM shows.” “I think I was something that no one in St. Louis was ready to put on,” Layton says. “I’ve experienced that my whole life and I’m used to it, but what’s really sad about that is that there was no space for young trans people to go and just hang out and not worry about shit.” Initially, Nadir and Layton threw parties under the name PS2 Desire (a call to Layton’s love of gaming) in venues such as the south city space Sorority House

and Krutie’s Tavern, which has since closed. The audience soon overwhelmed the venues, to the point where it was almost a fire hazard, Layton says. “We didn’t have any permits for anything,” Layton says. “It was one of those things that if the cops showed up, it was over.” But they never did, and the parties continued to grow. Donté, Umami and Sweeet joined the team for the first Materia-branded rave in November 2021. Each artist brought something different. Umami, a.k.a. Pajmon Porshahidy, played house music in the beginning. He’s more recently gravitated toward techno and jungle. Sweeet and Porshahidy also occasionally coordinate light shows to go along with the music — a collab called Lite Werk. And Donté, who was already headlining shows by 2021, brought his distinct, self-described “ghetto trance” genre. “We all have a very distinctive sound to ourselves,” Donté says. “Before we decided to collide, people didn’t know where to place us.” Collectively, the various styles merge into a cohesive experience that the DJs struggle to describe in words. There’s a Materia “vibe,” Sweeet says, even though

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he hates the word. Layton says she’s been complimented on the “Materia scene,” which surprises her. It’s as if Materia has a life of its own at this point, she says. That life has brought new music to St. Louis. Chicago-based DJ Manny, a progenitor of the genre footwork, DJ MC, also based in Chicago and Los Angeles DJ Bianca Oblivion have all come to play a slot at Materia. The growth has been exciting, Nadir says — and it may allow Materia to travel to other cities. But success isn’t necessarily what the artists behind Materia set out to achieve. They wanted to fill a hole in a shape they didn’t yet know. They’ve since done that, and then some. But despite whatever success, the music still comes before anything. “We’d be OK with just playing to our core group of friends in a basement,” Nadir says. n Materia has its two-year anniversary show on Saturday, November 25, at Mississippi Underground (1441 North 2nd Street, facebook.com/mississippiunderground) with guest Chao Gardem, a digital label started by Layton and Dani Rev. See Materia’s Instagram for more details.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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FILM [REVIEW]

Notes from a Scandal In May December, Todd Haynes turns an old tabloid tale into a first-rate sexual thriller, just like they used to make Written by

KAYLA MCCULLOCH May December Directed by Todd Haynes. Written by Samy Burch and Alex Mechanik. Now playing in select theaters.

ou do it nicely, ’cause it really does matter how it looks.” So says Gracie (Julianne Moore) to Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) in Todd Haynes’ May December. Ostensibly, she’s talking about arranging the maraschino cherries in a pineapple upside-down cake. But, spoken from the lips of a registered sex offender to the ears of a famous Hollywood actress in a sunny kitchen in Savannah, Georgia, there’s bound to be something deeper underneath this basic baking tip. They’re too peculiar a pairing in too abnormal a circumstance for her remark to be anywhere near surface level. You see, they’re making a movie out of a local woman’s headlinegrabbing affair with a middle school student, and Elizabeth is starring as the lead. Gracie is the inspiration for that role. This unassuming middle-aged mother with strawberry blonde hair plastered the covers of pulpy grocery store tabloids in the early 1990s. The cause of all the hubbub? Her criminal relationship with a seventh grader (and, later, the birth of her children with him). The couple — now married — has carved out a cozy niche amid the antebellum homes and Spanish moss, away from the harsh spotlight of media frenzy. Now, in the opinions of those who’d rather not dwell on it, some uppity Hollyweird celeb has come to tear down the facade.

Actress Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) asks convicted sex offender Gracie (Julianne Moore) uncomfortable questions. | © MAY DECEMBER PRODUCTIONS 2022 LLC It’s not surprising that Elizabeth’s arrival has people nervous. It’s been decades since what happened ... happened. Why dig it all up again? While she’d never admit it to anyone but herself, this is undoubtedly Gracie’s position. She and her husband Joe (Charles Melton) have established as much normalcy and security as possible for their family in the wake of such a controversy. Alas, as is the duty of any good (albeit kooky) housewife in the Hostess City of the South, Gracie welcomes her guest with open arms, tight lips and a guarded attitude. Whether it comes from the film’s unsettling score, its jarring interludes with creepy-crawly close-ups or all those backhanded pleasantries being exchanged, there’s an energy that feels volatile in the world of May December. It was hard for me to shake the feeling that, at any moment, someone or something was going to blow. To some extent, this may be what daily life feels like in wealthy suburbs. It’s beyond a small inkling, though. Past all the polite conversations, the fake smiles and the please-and-thankyous, Elizabeth’s investigative digging into Gracie’s troubled past starts to feel worse than bad manners. It feels dangerous. As Elizabeth searches for the most honest angle to embody the role of Gracie, Gracie works to

May December takes what we know about the trope of the blonde/brunette doppelgänger and uses it to tell a story about telling a story. make sure it’s never found. With not-so-subtle shades of David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive and Ingmar Bergman’s Persona — not to mention the urtext for this type of film, Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo — May December takes what we know about the trope of the blonde/brunette doppelgänger and uses it to tell a story about telling a story. While Haynes’ interests here are decidedly not as nightmarish as Lynch’s or Bergman’s (and far less twisty than Hitchcock’s), he still explores the age-old idea of dark doubles through the visual motif of hair color (plus plenty of reflections, twins and mimicry to drive the

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point home). Haynes also toyed with this hair color thing in his 2015 Carol. The age-gap romance, too. And yet, if ever there was an anti-Carol, it would be May December. Haynes traverses similar themes across both films, but the approach is much more lurid than languid this go-round. Forget about the gentle, literary aesthetic Haynes so beautifully brought to the pair of starcrossed lovers in midcentury New York. His latest offers the kind of outrageously brash take on sexual promiscuity more often found in a Lifetime movie. I don’t mean to use that Lifetime label as an insult, either. Until recently, the network was one of the only places I could find shamelessly sensual, hilariously campy melodramas en masse. The tides are turning, however — and it’s not just Haynes’s doing. From film historian Karina Longworth’s recent deep dive into the erotic thrillers of the ’80s and ’90s on her podcast You Must Remember This to the return of genre greats like Adrian Lyne and his underrated (and, I must say, unceremoniously dropped) Hulu release Deep Water, May December fits snugly into a growing trend. Right when I feared the subgenre dead, Haynes has used his auteur status to bolster the erotic thriller — and, in doing so, quenches modern audiences’ very real thirst for sinister, seedy, seductive fare. It’s one of his strongest and most intoxicating works to date. To be clear, Haynes is not some provocateur hoping to resuscitate a sordid style of film for shock value alone. May December is more complex, more layered, more intelligent than that. Above all else, it’s a titillating exploration of the nuances of truth. Elizabeth and Gracie, the film’s doubles, can be seen as the two sides of the scandalous story. There’s the version Gracie tells — her truth, no matter how honest or dishonest that may be — and there’s the objective truth that Elizabeth seeks. The story being told and the reality of what actually went down are not the same. Cover-ups, threats, deception, bottled emotions … all come with the price of protecting some form of truth or another. Remember: When telling a life story, you do it nicely, ’cause it really does matter how it looks. n

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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STAGE

[ O F F S TA G E ]

SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX

TINA Cast Visits Turner’s School

FRI, NOV 24

ALLMAN BETTS FAMILY REVIVAL

FT. DEVON ALLMAN, DUANE BETTS, THE ALLMAN BETTS BAND, TAL WILKENFELD, LARRY MCCRAY, LUTHER & CODY DICKINSON, ALEX ORBISON, JIMMY HALL, JACKIE GREENE, ALLY VENABLE, ANDERS OSBORNE

The performers held a Q&A and workshops for art curriculum students at historic Sumner High School

sat, NOV 25

STONER CINEMA

Written by

TINA FARMER

ounded in 1875, Sumner High was established as the first high school for African American students this side of the Mississippi. In its nearly 150 years, the high school has provided the educational foundation for scores of prominent Black individuals in every industry and profession, including entertainment. Rock icon Tina Turner was among the brightest of those alumni stars, and on November 17, cast members of the first national tour of TINA - the Tina Turner Musical visited her former high school. The afternoon started with a question and answer session between cast members and the school’s art curriculum students in the auditorium (the new auditorium, built in 1963; the original auditorium — where Chuck Berry, class of 1946, once performed — is now the school library). Many of the students had attended a matinee performance the previous day, and their questions showed reflection and genuine curiosity and elicited deep, thoughtful responses from the performers. Many of the most interesting exchanges revolved around the violence portrayed in the show. Dance captain Jeff Sullivan explained how the fights are carefully choreographed and rehearsed an hour before each performance, adding that “communication is a must, and we adjust as needed based on each performer’s comfort level that day.” Roz White, who portrays Tina’s mother Zel-

FEATURING BAD SANTA

sAT, DEC 2 A day spent at Sumner High impacted students and TINA cast members alike. | MATT MURPHY ma, responded to one student’s insightful question about the toll the show takes on the performers’ emotions and psyche with honesty and an emphasis on selfcare. White described the techniques she uses to center and separate herself from her role in some detail while emphasizing its importance and the benefits of structured breathing, ending with the popular advice to “go outside and get in touch with the natural world when you can.” After the performance, students split into two groups for special sessions, with one group exploring scene work and auditions and the other dance and choreography. The rest of the cast took a guided tour of the school that began in the Hall of Legends outside the auditorium. The hall features framed portraits of notable Sumner graduates, including tennis star Arthur Ashe, activist and comedian Dick Gregory, Tuskegee airman Wendell O. Pruitt, trumpeter Lester Bowie and many others. Each portrait was made by a student, and the majority are hand drawn; principal Ronda Wallace informed the group that Turner’s portrait is in progress. The tour also showcased a student-painted portrait of Chuck Berry and murals, including a large, brightly colored mural featuring Turner at the height of her stardom.

The cast members looked in on fashion and photography classes before heading to a room that includes a small recording booth, various computers and electronics from multiple eras and long tables stacked with artifacts. The students have an active archival program and are currently digging into a wealth of information and artifacts from Turner’s life, including studio recordings, costumes, ticket stubs and programs from her earliest performances on, and some childhood and teen memorabilia. One of the most moving parts of the day was seeing the almost six-foot-long sharecropper’s cotton picking bag, just like the one young Anna-Mae Bullock used before she moved to St. Louis, changed her name and became the queen of rock & roll. It was eye-opening to the performers, particularly the petite Parris Lewis, one of the two women portraying the adult Tina Turner. The moment highlighted the impact of the cast visit, which was an inspiring exchange for everyone involved. The Fabulous Fox is to be commended for its assistance in arranging the event. n

CROCE PLAYS CROCE FEATURING A.J. CROCE sUN, DEC 3

JAMES “MURR” MURRAY OF IMPRACTICAL JOKERS

THU, DEC 7

Y98’S DECK THE HALL BALL

FEAT. TRAIN, PHILLIP PHILLIPS, AND JP SAXE

SAT, DEC 9 COUNTESS CABARET STARRING LUANN DE LESSEPS OF REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY

SUN, DEC 10

SAMARA JOY: A JOYFUL HOLIDAY TUE, DEC 12

KENNY G

THE MIRACLES HOLIDAYS & HITS TOUR

WED, DEC 13

TINA is playing at the Fabulous Fox Theatre (527 North Grand Boulevard, fabulousfox.com) through Sunday, November 26. Showtimes vary, and tickets are $29 to $140.

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NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

OUT EVERY NIGHT

FRIDAY 24

120 MINUTES: 8:30 p.m., $8. Sky Music Lounge, 930 Kehrs Mill Road, Ballwin, 636-527-6909. COOK CRVK: 8 p.m., $15. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720. DENISE THIMES - GIVING THANKS NIGHT 1: 7:30 p.m., $30. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. DR. SLAPINSTEIN ALBUM RELEASE SHOW: w/ Brother Francis and the Soultones 8 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226. HONKY TONK HAPPY HOUR: 4 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. J.D. HUGHES AND THE FUZE: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. JOANNA SERENKO: 8 p.m., $25. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. KHIRO KANO AND MICHAEL FRANCO ALBUM RELEASE: 8 p.m., $10-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367. KILLER WAILS: 5 p.m., $6. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 South Kingshighway Blvd., 2nd Floor, St. Louis, 3143765313. MARTY ABDULLAH & THE EXPRESSIONS: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. MAX KAPLAN DUO: 9:30 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. MY POSSE IN EFFECT: 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. POSTMODERN JUKEBOX: 8 p.m., $29.50-$69.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND: 8 p.m., $20. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. RJ MISCHO: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. RYAN DAVIS AND THE ROADHOUSE BAND: w/ Chlorine, Ace of Spit, The Losing End 9 p.m., $10. CBGB, 3163 S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis. TONKSGIVING 2023: w/ Ha Ha Tonka, Nick Gusman & the Coyotes 7 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. TONKSGIVING 2023: 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. THE URGE: 7:30 p.m., $39.99-$54.99. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

SATURDAY 25

1ST ANNUAL FALL FUNK BALL: w/ St. Boogie Brass Band, The Service, Giant Quintet 7:30 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. AL GREEN WITH BETTYE LAVETTE: 7 p.m., $62$297. Family Arena, 2002 Arena Parkway, St Charles, 636-896-4200. ALL ROOSTERED UP: noon, free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. THE ALLMAN BETTS FAMILY REVIVAL: 8 p.m., $59.50-$89.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. BROTHER JEFFERSON: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. DENISE THIMES - GIVING THANKS NIGHT 2: 7:30 p.m., $30. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. THE FABULOUS FREDDIE MERCURY TRIBUTE: w/ deFrance 8 p.m., $20. The Hawthorn, 2231 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-887-0877. THE HADDONFIELDS, BASS AMP & DANO, RUMLUCK: 8 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226. THE HAMILTON BAND: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. THE HARD PROMISES - A TOM PETTY TRIBUTE: 8

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[CRITIC’S PICK]

Postmodern Jukebox. | VIA TICKETMASTER

Postmodern Jukebox 8 p.m. Friday, November 24. The Factory, 17105 North Outer 40 Road, Chesterfield. $29.50 to $69.50. 314-423-8500. It would be easy to dismiss Postmodern Jukebox as a gimmick act. The LAbased musical collective led by pianist and New York native Scott Bradlee really has but one trick in its bag — but what a trick it is. Since getting its start in 2011 as a group of Bradlee’s college friends shooting videos in his basement apartment in Astoria, Postmodern Jukebox has been singularly focused on reinventp.m., $25-$30. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. JOHN MCVEY BAND: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. THE LAST WALTZ FEATURING SEAN CANAN’S VOODOO PLAYERS: 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. MEMORY CELL: w/ Furthest, Hennen 8 p.m., $10. CBGB, 3163 S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis. MURDER CITY PLAYERS: w/ DJ Tom ‘Papa’ Ray 8 p.m., $11-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367. OTHER SUNS ALBUM RELEASE: w/ Jane Wave, Hannah Price, Bret Schneider + Janet Xmas noon, $10-$20. William A. Kerr Foundation, 21 O’Fallon St., St. Louis, 314-436-3325. PATTI & THE HITMEN: 3 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. PAUL NIEHAUS IV TRIO: 8 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. R&B GROOVE THANG: 8 p.m., $59-$199. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600. RICH MCDONOUGH & THE RHYTHM RENEGADES: 2 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St.,

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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ing modern pop hits by drawing from the art forms of the past, breathing new life into songs by everyone from Lady Gaga to the Strokes to the Weeknd to the Cure by reimagining them as jazz, swing, doo-wop and big band standards. The concept seems simple enough, but the secret’s in the sauce — and the sauce is Bradlee’s brilliance as an arranger. Couple that with a rotating cast of top-notch musicians from LA’s club scene and beyond, and it’s no wonder the collective is a veritable viral video machine. With its 6 million subscribers on YouTube and a staggering view count in excess of 6

billion streams, PMJ has been able to parlay its runaway success into a string of tours that have seen the group perform at more than 1,000 shows across six continents. Gimmick or no, that’s an accomplishment that demands to be taken seriously. Make You Stop, Think: The only testament to Bradlee’s considerable prowess that you really need is the fact that he was recently able to reinvent Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” into something that is actually listenable — even, dare we suggest, good. Do you have any idea how much talent that requires? —Daniel Hill

St. Louis, 314-773-5565. SAINT CHUCK: 5 p.m., $6. The Attic Music Bar, 4247 South Kingshighway Blvd., 2nd Floor, St. Louis, 314-376-5313. VOODOO LAST WALTZ: 8 p.m., $20-$25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. TIM SCHALL: 6 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

SUNDAY 26

MONDAY 27

CAROLYN MASON AND THE PURE ENERGY BAND: 6:30 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. ERIC LYSAGHT: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. ERIK BROOKS: 8 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. IRENE ALLEN & FRIENDS: 7 p.m., free. Yaqui’s on Cherokee, 2728 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-400-7712. THE MENZINGERS: w/ Microwave, Cloud Nothings, Rodeo Boys 7:30 p.m., $33. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. MISS JUBILEE’S HOT SWING JAZZ: 11 a.m., free. Evangeline’s, 512 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-3644. TICKET TO THE BEATLES: noon, $15-$18. City

CHRISTIAN KEYES: 7:30 p.m., $45-$58. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $8. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. TIM ALBERT AND STOVEHANDLE DAN: w/ Randy 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

TUESDAY 28

DVSN: 8 p.m., $30. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. ETHAN JONES: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. J RODDY WALSTON: 7:30 p.m., $28-$35. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060.

THIS JUST IN

[CRITIC’S PICK]

Pussy Riot. | VIA TICKETMASTER

Pussy Riot w/ Pinkshift 8 p.m. Tuesday, November 28. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Boulevard. $25. 314-726-6161. Let’s be honest: Many of the people who might count themselves as Pussy Riot fans have probably listened to very little of the collective’s music, and there’s an even better chance that the ones who have probably haven’t checked in too recently. (Did you know, for example, that the group traded in its earlier Riot Grrl sound for hyperpop? Last year’s Matriarchy Now mixtape, released by Neon Gold Records, tells the tale.) But to be fair, Pussy Riot’s music is more or less an afterthought compared to its true raison d’être as activists in opposition to the Russian government. The collective, whose membership is fluid and evershifting, first rose to prominence in the Western world when three of its members were jailed following a 2012 protest against the Russian Orthodox Church’s support of Vladimir Putin, accused of NAKED MIKE: 7 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. NARROW HEAD: w/ Modern Color 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. PIERCE THE VEIL: 7 p.m., $50.50-$60.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. PUSSY RIOT: w/ Pinkshift 8 p.m., $25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

WEDNESDAY 29

DREW LANCE: 4:30 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. IAN MUNSICK: 8 p.m., $25. Delmar Hall, 6133

“hooliganism motivated by religious hatred.” After those members were released more than a year later, Pussy Riot again made headlines with an unsanctioned performance at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi that saw its members beaten with whips and pepper-sprayed by security forces. Together, those two events made Pussy Riot a household name, one synonymous with feminism — and a punk rock ethos that endures even as its sound has shifted away from its earliest roots. Punk Prayer: This show is a unique one, with the group’s music only existing as one aspect of the evening’s program. Dubbed Riot Days, the performance will come in the form of a play based on the memoir of Pussy Riot’s Maria Alyokhina, with themes of “resistance, repression and revolution” featured prominently, according to promotional materials. The show has criss-crossed the world in recent years and has been well received, with multiple international awards under its belt. —Daniel Hill Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. JOHN MCVEY BAND: 7 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. MARGARET & FRIENDS: 3 p.m., $5. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565. PAUL NEIHAUS IV: 7 p.m., free. Evangeline’s, 512 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-3644. PETE AYRES QUARTET: 7:30 p.m., $20-$25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. VOODOO REQUESTS: 8:30 p.m., $14. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. WYCLIFFE GORDON QUINTENT: 7:30 p.m., $40$45. Jazz St. Louis, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000. n

AJR: Sat., July 6, 7:30 p.m., $45.50-$145. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888. ALANIS MORISSETTE: Tue., July 23, 7 p.m., $39.50-$149.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. ARIANNA STRING QUARTET WITH ALLA VOSKOBOYNIKOVA: Thu., Dec. 7, 6 p.m., $25. World Chess Hall of Fame, 4652 Maryland Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-9243. ASHLEY MCBRYDE: Fri., April 26, 8 p.m., $34.50$69.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. BEER CHOIR - CHRISTMAS EDITION: Fri., Dec. 22, 7 p.m., free. Das Bevo Biergarten, 4749 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-224-5521. BLACKBERRY SMOKE: Fri., April 12, 8 p.m., $35$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. BLONDE REDHEAD: Tue., Feb. 27, 8 p.m., $30. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. CLARION BRASS + PERCUSSION: Sun., Dec. 10, 2 p.m., free. Emmanuel Episcopal Church, 9 S. Bompart, St. Louis, 314-961-2393. DEXTER AND THE MOONROCKS: Fri., March 8, 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. DOGS OF SOCIETY: A ROCK N ROLL TRIBUTE TO ELTON JOHN: Sat., Jan. 20, 8 p.m., $20-$25. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. DRAKE: W/ J. Cole, Mon., Feb. 12, 8 p.m., $85.50$395.50. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888. DROPKICK MURPHYS: Mon., Feb. 26, 7 p.m., $45-$69.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. EARTH, WIND & FIRE AND CHICAGO: Wed., July 10, 7:30 p.m., $35.50-$499.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. GOSH DARN TRIBUTE TO THE MUSICAL LEGACY OF GREG HAUPT: Wed., Dec. 20, 7 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. HOZIER: Tue., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., $39.50-$99.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. IAN MUNSICK: Wed., Nov. 29, 8 p.m., $25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. IRENE ALLEN & FRIENDS: Sun., Nov. 26, 7 p.m., free. Yaqui’s on Cherokee, 2728 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-400-7712. J RODDY WALSTON: Tue., Nov. 28, 7:30 p.m., $28-$35. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. JOSH ABBOTT BAND: Sat., April 20, 8 p.m., $20. The Hawthorn, 2231 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-887-0877. JUDAS PRIEST: Sun., May 5, 7:30 p.m., $49.50$175. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. KELSY KARTER & THE HEROINES: Tue., March 5, 8 p.m., $15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. KRIBMAS: W/ Smino, Sun., Dec. 17, 8 p.m., $50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. MADI DIAZ: Thu., March 7, 8 p.m., $22. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 3 14-498-6989. MARIA BARTOLOTTA: Thu., Dec. 28, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. MIKE DOUGHTY: Thu., March 21, 8 p.m., $25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. MISS JUBILEE’S HOT SWING JAZZ: Sun., Nov. 26, 11 a.m., free. Evangeline’s, 512 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-3644.

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O.A.R.: W/ Fitz and the Tantrums, Wed., Aug. 21, 7 p.m., $25-$125. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. PATTI & THE HITMEN: Sat., Nov. 25, 3 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. PAUL NEIHAUS IV: Wed., Nov. 29, 7 p.m., free. Evangeline’s, 512 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, 314367-3644. PAUL NIEHAUS IV TRIO: Sat., Nov. 25, 8 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. PETE AYRES QUARTET: Wed., Nov. 29, 7:30 p.m., $20-$25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. PRISCILLA BLOCK: Thu., April 18, 8 p.m., $20$30. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. RAIN: A TRIBUTE TO THE BEATLES: Sun., May 19, 7 p.m., $39.50-$110. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111. ROBERT NELSON: Fri., Dec. 22, 7:30 p.m., $25. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. SAMANTHA FISH FT. JESSE DAYTON: Fri., Feb. 23, 8 p.m., $25-$30. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. SAMMY HAGAR: W/ Loverboy, Sat., Aug. 31, 7 p.m., $35-$499.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. SIERRA FERRELL: Sun., April 28, 8 p.m., $30$45. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. THE SIMON & GARFUNKEL STORY: Fri., Feb. 2, 8 p.m., $29.50-$64.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. SOULARD BLUES BAND: Mon., Nov. 27, 9 p.m., $8. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. SPENCER JONES: Wed., Dec. 27, 7:30 p.m., $15. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS: Fri., Aug. 2, 7 p.m., $35-$129.50. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. TICKET TO THE BEATLES: Sun., Nov. 26, noon, $15-$18. City Winery St. Louis, 3730 Foundry Way, Suite 158, St. Louis, 314-678-5060. TOMMY WARD: Thu., Dec. 21, 7:30 p.m., $30. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745. TOWER OF POWER: Thu., March 14, 7:30 p.m., $49.50-$89.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 314-423-8500. VOODOO GRATEFUL DEAD NYE: Sun., Dec. 31, 8 p.m., $20-$25. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. VOODOO PHISH: Wed., Dec. 13, 8:30 p.m., $14. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. VOODOO TOM PETTY: Wed., Dec. 27, 8:30 p.m., $14. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811. WADE BOWEN: Thu., Jan. 18, 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. WESTERN DREAMLAND: A COUNTRY & DISCO PARTY: Fri., Jan. 26, 8:30 p.m., $16-$25. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. THE WINKS EP RELEASE SHOW: W/ Native State, Misplaced Religion, Sat., Dec. 9, 8 p.m., $10. Platypus, 4501 Manchester Avenue, St. Louis, 314-359-2293. ZAC BROWN BAND: Sat., April 6, 8 p.m., $52.50$172. Chaifetz Arena, 1 S. Compton Ave., St. Louis, 314-977-5000. ZAC HART: Sat., Jan. 27, 7:30 p.m., free. Tin Roof St. Louis, 1000 Clark Ave, St. Louis, 314-240-5400. n

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2023

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SAVAGE LOVE Thanks Again BY DAN SAVAGE I’m taking the week off. Please enjoy these Thanksgiving-themed questions from the Savage Love archives. Gobble, gobble. — Dan Hey Dan: Something is bothering me, and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID-19, we gathered safely for an outdoors Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and their partners were there. Each household contributed to the feast, and we had a wonderful evening. While my husband and I were snuggling in bed later he said that my casserole was a big hit thanks to the “secret ingredient.” When I asked what he meant, he informed me that he had deposited my cum from a blowjob he’d given me earlier that day in my half-finished casserole. When I asked why he did this, he said he thought it was hot, and he was aroused watching my family ingest it. To me, this seems a bit twisted and feels like a deeply disrespectful act toward my family. Now I cannot sleep, and it is impossible for me to think of anything else. I wish he had never told me. Confused And Shuddering Sleeplessly, Entirely Revolted Over Loaded Entrée Some questions you suspect are fake, some questions you know are fake and some questions you hope are fake. I wish I could say this question fell into the second category — a question I knew to be fake — but I once got a letter from a man who would excuse himself at dinner parties, quickly rub one out in the bathroom, and then dip the bristles of his hosts’ toothbrushes in his semen. (That was 20 years ago, and I’m still securing my toothbrush in a secret, undisclosed location when we have guests.) So as much as I wished we lived in a world where something like this could never happen, CASSEROLE, we don’t live in that world. That said … some details don’t add up. I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty of blowjobs, CASSEROLE, and there are always tells when a guy doesn’t immediately swallow. A man who’s holding your load in his mouth has a certain look; his mouth and jaw are set in a particular and revealing way. There’s also no postblowjob kissing or snuggling. And if you were to say, “Thank you, that was great,” and they hummed back, “Mmm-hmm,” instead of saying, “You’re welcome,” you

would know the guy didn’t swallow. And yet you would have us believe that your husband somehow gave you a blowjob and somehow didn’t swallow without you noticing and then … did what exactly? Strolled around the house with a mouth full of come until the opportunity to defile your casserole presented itself? Then again … Impromptu blowjobs sometimes happen, CASSEROLE, and they sometimes happen in kitchens. So, I suppose it’s possible your husband interrupted you while you were making a casserole and then spat your load into the casserole you were making and managed to give it a quick stir … without you noticing the spit or the stir? Sounds improbable … but I suppose your husband could have created an additional diversion that took your attention off your casserole long enough to execute this spitand-stir maneuver. But even if he did all of this, would he tell you about it? The guy who was glazing his friend’s toothbrushes didn’t brag to his friends about it. He wrote to me about it, described it as a compulsion, and asked me how to stop. That your husband would be so clueless as to think you wouldn’t be revolted by this is, if you’ll forgive me, a little hard to swallow. Still … If your nieces and nephews are adults … it’s possible you and your husband are getting up there … and he could be suffering from early onset dementia; inappropriate sexual behavior and poor impulse control are symptoms. So, on the off, off, off chance this actually happened, CASSEROLE, here’s my advice: If your husband spat your load into a half-finished casserole and then watched your whole family consume it and then assumed you would think it was hot and isn’t suffering from dementia, CASSEROLE, then you absolutely, positively need to divorce him. Let us count the ways you can’t trust this man: You can’t trust him with your semen, you can’t trust him not to feed your cum to your mother, you can’t trust him around your siblings and nieces and nephews. You can’t even leave him in the company of an unaccompanied casserole. So unless you looked into his eyes on your wedding day and thought, “This is a guy who would feed a woman her own son’s semen, and I’m fine with that,” your husband isn’t the “great guy” you thought he was. He’s a monster and what he did is unforgivable, even criminal. Divorce the asserole. Some will urge you to go to the police and press charges for sexual assault — those casserole leftovers may contain DNA evidence — but you’ll have to weigh involving the police against burdening your mother with the knowledge of your Thanksgiving casserole’s secret ingredient.

Thanksgiving/Xmess/NYE with your Impromptu folks because doing so will be held up as of his lying jerkiness after he blowjobs sometimes evidence dumps you on November 27 or December 26 or January 2. happen, and they My advice: Take “it’s awkward” for an answer, tell him you’d like to have dinner sometimes happen on Saturday, and don’t make a big deal out of his reluctance to spend Thursday with you at your mom’s and Friday at in kitchens. P.S. A casserole is really more of a side dish at Thanksgiving, isn’t it? This question originally appeared on December 8, 2020. Hey Dan: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He’s 25, I’m 27. I asked him to have Thanksgiving dinner with me and my mother at my house. He said no. I also invited him to have dinner with my father, my brother, my stepmom and me the day after Thanksgiving. He said no again. His reasoning: “It would be too awkward.” He has met both sides of my family, and I have met his parents as well. His parents are having Thanksgiving dinner with family friends, and he doesn’t have other Thanksgiving plans. This is not the first time he has turned down invitations to spend time with my family. I’ve told him the only way for us to feel less awkward with each other’s families is to spend more time with them. He just said “I know” via text. I believe he loves me, and he is a wonderful partner in many areas of my life, but this is bothering me. What should I do? I’m fighting the urge to tell him that maybe our relationship is “too awkward” and we should part ways before Christmas. What do you think? Single On Thanksgiving I’d like to speak with your boyfriend, SOT, so I could ask him the obvious follow-up question. (OFUQ: Why does it feel awkward?) Assuming your boyfriend is into you and wants to keep seeing you, his answer to the OFUQ could go something like this: “We’ve been seeing each other for less than a year, and to me it feels like it’s too soon to be spending the holidays with each other’s families — it’s also too soon for us to be calling each other ‘partner.’ So let’s take a deep breath, stay calm and keep being wonderful to each other. If we’re still together this time next year then, yeah, we’ll do Thanksgiving with your folks or mine.” It’s also a possibility — possibility ≠ certainty — that your boyfriend doesn’t want to keep seeing you and is operating/dating under the mistakenbut-all-too-common belief that it’s kinder to string someone along through the holidays. He may not want to spend

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your dad’s. It could mean nothing at all, SOT, or it could mean something dire. But you’ll just have to wait and see.

This question originally appeared on November 24, 2015. Hey Dan: When a person has no concept of God, which I assume you don’t, nothing is “off limits” as to the bounds of sexual depravity. I once was where you are now (almost anyway) but came to realize that sex is a sacred pleasure given to men and women to practice responsibly. You turn sex into an ugly recreation where there are no restrictions or morals. I hope as you mature in life, you begin to realize the true meaning of loving sex. I don’t expect a rebuttal, but thanks for giving me a chance to vent. Bob Z. My moral code — when it comes to sex — goes something like this: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That ring a bell? Treat each other with respect, show consideration, be kind, meet each other’s needs, don’t take each other for granted, be decent to the people you’re indecent with, and always treat your very special guest stars with generosity. There’s a strong moral code at the heart of my advice. You may be too distracted — or too titillated — by the dirty bells and sleazy whistles to see it, Bob, but like a forearm in a power bottom at Folsom … it’s in there. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Bob. I’m glad you’re happy. But I’d be thankful if you refrained from projecting your prior unhappiness — unhappiness with choices you made that weren’t working for you — onto others. Loving sex is great, Bob, and it comes in many guises. Still, I’m glad you’ve discovered what works for you sexually and emotionally. But you can love the sex you’re having now and find meaning in it without disparaging or making assumptions about the sex other people enjoy and find meaning in. This question originally appeared November 24, 2016. Got a problem? Send your burning questions to mailbox@savage.love Podcasts, columns and more at savage.love

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