Riverfront Times, December 21, 2022

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher Chris Keating

Editor in Chief Rosalind Early

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Jessica Rogen Editor at Large Daniel Hill

Digital Content Editor Jaime Lees Food Editor Cheryl Baehr

Staff Writers Ryan Krull, Monica Obradovic, Benjamin Simon Theater Critic Tina Farmer

Copy Editor Evie Hemphill

Contributors Thomas K. Chimchards, Mike Fitzgerald, Kathy Gilsinan, Joseph Hess, Reuben Hemmer, Steve Leftridge, Andy Paulissen, Delia Rainey, Mabel Suen, Graham Toker, David Von Nordheim, Theo Welling

Columnists Chris Andoe, Ray Hartmann, Dan Savage

Editorial Interns Kasey Noss, Sarah Lovett

ART & PRODUCTION

Art Director Evan Sult Creative Director Haimanti Germain Production Manager Sean Bieri Graphic Designer Aspen Smit

MULTIMEDIA ADVERTISING

Associate Publisher Colin Bell Account Manager Jennifer Samuel Directors of Business Development Tony Burton, Rachel Hoppman, Chelsea Nazaruk

BUSINESS Regional Operations Director Emily Fear

CIRCULATION

Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

EUCLID MEDIA GROUP

Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Executive Editor Sarah Fenske

VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein Audience Development Manager Jenna Jones VP of Marketing Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com

NATIONAL ADVERTISING

VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

SUBSCRIPTIONS

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Riverfront Times is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue may be purchased for $1.00 plus postage, payable in advance at the Riverfront Times office. Riverfront Times may be distributed only by Riverfront Times authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Riverfront Times , take more than one copy of each Riverfront Times weekly issue. The entire contents of Riverfront Times are copyright 2022 by Riverfront Times, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the expressed written permission of the Publisher, Riverfront Times , PO Box 179456, St. Louis, Mo, 63117. Please call the Riverfront Times office for back-issue information, 314-754-5966. INSIDE Front Burner 6 Hartmann 9 News 10 Missouriland 12 Feature 14 Calendar 20 Cafe 23 Short Orders 27 Reeferfront Times 35 Culture 36 Music 38 Out Every Night 42 Savage Love 45 COVER Deadly Lockup Inmates are dying at an alarming rate in Missouri prisons and St. Louis jails, and many families struggle to get answers about what happened to their loved ones Cover
photo by THEO WELLING

FRONT BURNER

FIVE QUESTIONS for Ryan Cooper, A.K.A. Jack Frost

Previously On

LAST WEEK IN ST. LOUIS

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12 At 6:20 a.m., a gas station shooting at Chouteau and Tucker leaves one man dead and three teens arrested. Hours later, a KFC worker in the Central West End is shot in by a customer who’s upset that the store ran out of corn. We’re off to a great start this week, St. Louis.

?!

Every year for the holidays, the St. Charles Convention and Visitors Bureau staff morph the main street into Christmas Traditions, a street festival that harkens back to Christmas of yesteryear. We talked to Ryan Cooper, the event’s director, about his character, Jack Frost, putting on the season-long event and more.This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

What is your favorite part about Christmas Traditions?

I think my favorite part is that … it really kind of gets its DNA from being a historically based Christmas event and the fact that we celebrate how holidays are celebrated around the world.

What goes into organizing an event like this?

The heavy lifting comes in March. That’s when we set what characters we’re looking for and what our aesthetic for the year is going to be. Auditions are held at the end of May. And from there, it’s getting everything out of storage, getting costumes all repaired, getting new costumes made, painting set pieces, and then opening day comes real quick.

What’s your favorite memory you have from Christmas Traditions?

We have a girl who has been coming for years and years and years, and she’s nonverbal. And her mother left a post on our Facebook page and said [the daughter is] getting older now, so she’s starting to realize that she’s different. That makes her a little sad and lonely sometimes. And she went to see Santa. And she’s been using more and more sign language. And she signed “Merry Christmas” to Santa. And Santa signed back to her “Merry Christmas to you, Santa loves you.” And her mother said she just melted and got so excited.

What would you say is your number-one tip to get into the holiday spirit?

Just throw yourself into it.

Last question: How do you guys stay warm out there?

The veteran performers will tell you that it’s all about layering, layering, layering. Hand warmers are a godsend. But also bringing extra layers to add to your original layers once the sun goes down, and that will keep you nice and toasty.

Christmas Traditions runs until Saturday, December 24. Find more information on discoverstcharles.coms. —Jenna Jones

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13 Officials shut down the courthouse after a shooter sent bullets flying into the Civil Courts building downtown. When even buildings with metal detectors and sheriff’s deputies aren’t safe, what hope is there for our schools and houses?

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14 We have a new police chief. Surprise, he’s a white guy — and a white guy with a vote of no confidence from the Wilmington City Council for failing to boost diversity on that city’s police force. Not exactly a hire we’d have predicted. Even so, we’ll give Robert Tracy a chance... to mess things up, just like SLMPD’s long roster of internal hires has done.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 Cardinals announcer Dan McLaughlin has parted ways with Bally Sports Midwest, nine days after racking up his third arrest for drunken driving. “Some people want to vilify him,” Sports Media Critic Dan Caesar writes in the Post-

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 It’s so cold they’re finally making snow at Hidden Valley! (And what could be more natural than downhill skiing in Missouri?) Also: the Armory opens. Just what we need, a giant bar with seesaws

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 The PostDispatch reports that Secretary of State John Ashcroft’s plan to block public funding for libraries that offer materials that appeal to minors’ sexual interests has drawn a record-breaking number of comments — 16,000. Ashcroft’s spokeswoman says people are just passionate about libraries. In that case, maybe don’t come after them?

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18 Everybody’s sick; if it’s not COVID-19, it’s the flu or RSV. Who knew the downside of isolating at home for two years would be getting every last thing once we finally emerged from our cocoons? God bless our coddled immune systems, every one!

ESCAPE HATCH

We ask three St. Louisans what they’re reading, watching or listening to. In the hot seat this week: three Gioia’s Deli employees.

Analicia Kocher

Watching: While You Were Sleeping and Sleepless in Seattle (on VHS) “I like the sweet predictability of rom-coms. You know it will all turn out OK. Watching it on VHS reminds me of when I was young and enhances the joy.”

Anita Moss

Reading: A Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding a Black Man “It was made in the 1980s and society is very different from then to now. At the same time, it makes sense. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I want a break for the generational curses that have hit my family. Drugs hit my family hard, and now that I have a daughter, I want better for her.”

Sarah Pollock

Listening to: SZA S.O.S. “It’s giving breakup vibes, and I recently went through a breakup of a 10-year relationship, so it’s hitting.”

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Ryan Cooper plays Jack Frost. | COURTESY PHOTO Dispatch — and then details Danny Mac’s good works, including raising money for charity. So great to see the daily has a heart! We can only hope the next poor slob whose mugshot garners them coverage gets similar treatment. High time we allowed people to be defined by more than just their headline-making crimes — amirite, P-D

WEEKLY WTF?!

Sign Watch

Location: Tamm and Smiley avenues, Lindenwood Park

Number of missing letters: 7 (out of 15)

Length of time it’s looked like this: At least since April 2019, if Google Street View is to be believed

Length of time before anyone fixes it: How do you type an infinity symbol on a keyboard? In any case, that long

Level of vaguely undefinable intimidating vibes: 10 (out of 10)

SO ST. LOUIS

e Highest Odds

An anonymous story about something that could only happen in the Gateway City

Iwanted a couples costume that was of the moment this past Halloween. We’d been invited to a truly epic bash, but all my funny ideas felt a bit fraught — and it doesn’t help that my husband is an incurable stick-in-themud. Whatever I came up with needed to be simple.

I felt the murmur of inspiration when I spotted a St. Louis police hat at a neighborhood yard sale. My husband could be a cop; I could be a criminal! With a set of $8 handcuffs from Johnnie Brock’s, we’d be golden. But what kind of criminal? I didn’t want to joke about murder or rape. … Hey, what about a catalytic converter thief? There’s a crime that everyone can laugh about.

Then we got to the party — and the other guests began to laugh a bit anxiously. “A little too soon, don’t you think?” one said, elbowing me. “Do you really think Tim’s going to find this funny?” asked another.

Our host had his catalytic converter stolen just two days before, and it had been a huge ordeal — kids late for school, expensive repairs, who knew? And Tim, apparently, was bitter. “Ugh, what are the odds?” I groaned, trying to hide my prop converter behind another guest’s ballgown.

“Well, this is St. Louis,” another guest replied. “The odds are actually pretty high.”

Fortunately, our host found the whole thing funny enough. You can’t live in this city, I guess, without keeping a sense of humor.

Send your So St. Louis story to jsrogen@euclidmediagroup.com.

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YOU WANT SERIOUS? WE’LL GET SERIOUS... JUST NOT QUITE YET [ ]
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HARTMANN

Josh Hawley’s Epic Fraud

e son of a banker goes full Donald Trump in faking concern for workers

Missouri Senator Josh Hawley is proving that he has been paying close attention to the hustle of the greatest con artist of all time.

That, of course, would be Donald Trump, the worst president in the nation’s history — but also its most accomplished fraudster. History will remember Trump’s diabolical genius in faux championing the cause of millions of working-class Americans he was bred to disdain as a New York City real estate scion.

Now it’s Hawley’s turn. The insurrectionist senator seized upon the Republicans’ disastrous midterm-election results to posture as the leader of a “new GOP that listens to the working people” in an op-ed in the Washington Post, a.k.a. the fake-news media.

Hawley doubled down more recently in standing out as one of just 15 far-right Republican senators to oppose a bipartisan deal brokered by President Joe Biden to avert a national rail workers strike. He proffered the audacious lie that he opposed it for not offering workers enough protection.

How can one be so sure Hawley’s lying? His unbelievably extreme anti-worker record in public disservice rather speaks for itself.

a ey s first a or o iti a backer was David Humphreys — a Joplin, Missouri, businessman who was far and away the highestrofi e ad o ate of ri ht to ork” laws in Missouri. Humphreys donated a staggering $3 million to Hawley’s 2016 campaign for state attorney general and another $1 million for his successful run to unseat Senator Claire McCaskill.

Hawley, of course, supported the “right to work” effort that would have torpedoed unions in Missouri by letting people take

union jobs without being required to join a union, but still enefit fro a o e ti e argaining agreements. Missouri voters rejected that miserable idea in August 2018 by an overwhelming 2-to-1 margin.

In typical Hawley fashion, he tried to weasel out of his clear position on the losing side, as reported by the pringfield ews- eader Of course, no one bought that, and months later Hawley was stranded on Loser Island again when Missouri voters gave a landslide victory to Proposition B, which gradually increased the minimum wage by 85 cents a year.

Hawley had argued that Proposition B would raise the minimum wage too quickly and be out of step with other states. Prop B received 250,000 more votes in 2018 than Hawley got in winning his Senate seat.

As senator, Hawley has been prone to cheap talk about raising the minimum wage for employees of billion-dollar companies, nestled in the security blanket of knowing it will never happen for a variety of reasons. But Hawley opposed a minimum wage hike when it mattered. Full stop.

Hawley’s hostility to workers was also on full display in his drive-by tenure as attorney general where he joined a national lawsuit to oppose Obamacare’s coverage for pre-existing conditions. He doesn’t reminisce publicly about that one, either.

n the first three years as a senator, Hawley compiled a lifetime 11 percent voting record as scored by the AFL-CIO. That makes him one of the 10 least labor-friendly Republican senators out of the 50 serving in the past session.

That’s a credential that will serve Hawley well in the fundraising arena as he makes the case to wealthy Republican donors that all his cheap talk about cracking down on Big Business is a charade for the cameras. They know this.

It’s also clear to traditional Republican big hitters that Hawley was just joshing in that Washington Post op-ed. Here was a passage from the senator’s submission for the 2022 Forked Tongue Awards:

“Right now, the Republican Party stands at a crossroads. Its leaders can, of course, attempt to

resurrect the dead consensus of offshoring, amnesties and ‘free trade.’ That’s the path to further losses. A reborn Republican Party must look very different. It must offer good jobs and good lives, not just higher stock prices for Wall Street. And it must place working Americans at its heart and take them as they are, rather than treating them as resources to be exploited or engineered away.”

Oh, please. Anyone who doesn’t detect a pungent odor emanating from that shovelful of words also will buy into the comical notion that fi htin for orkers si k leave is one of Hawley’s dearest passions. Or that free trade is terrible for the American public, which it most certainly is not.

The only thing Hawley has done to support sick leave for workers is to advocate policies that are certain to make them sick. Remember when Hawley stood up for Medicaid expansion in Missouri? I didn’t think you did.

There’s only one plausible explanation for Hawley’s vote to oppose the rail workers settlement: A rail strike would have been disastrous for the national economy — and thus for Biden

politically. Say what we all will about the moral decay of the Republican Party, at least more than two-thirds of them weren’t willing to go that far.

And that’s what Hawley wants: To appear to stand apart from his Republican colleagues as a faux populist just as Trump did from the moment he descended the escalator in 2015 in his felonious company’s gold-plated monument to greed, corruption and avarice.

Like Trump, Hawley is fraudulent to the core. Just as no working-class member of the Trump base can ever be a luxury-class member of Mar-a-Lago, Hawley prefers to interact with the base by viewing it from a comfortable distance.

Hawley demonstrated that in the leadup to January 6, 2021, hen he e a e the first senator to announce he would provide a dance partner to rabid House members hoping to challenge the results of the 2020 presidential election. No other member of the Senate — not even Ted Cruz — could hope to match Hawley’s credentials as an enemy of democracy on that day of infamy.

That, of course, was underscored by the ultimate metaphor of our time: Hawley raising a en hed fist to the o oised to storm the Capitol only to s urry ike a terrified hi unk hours later when the unwashed masses menaced his safety.

Hawley was the same guy that day as he has been since the onset of his toxic political career: A self-described “native of smalltown Lexington, Missouri, in rural Lafayette County” who just happened to leave out the parts about being the wealthy son of a anker ho attended the finest private schools all the way through his Ivy League pedigree.

This guy is as phony as it gets. Hawley’s a man of the working people, all right, providing that his interactions with them can happen mostly from a distance. Preferably behind glass.

And with a safe space to scamper to in an emergency. n

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Hawley has been prone to cheap talk about raising the minimum wage for employees of billion-dollar companies, knowing it will never happen. But Hawley opposed a minimum wage hike when it mattered. Full stop.
Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhartmann1952@ gmail.com or catch him at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on Nine PBS and St. Louis in the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9-11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

Recycling Sham

Across the city, residents say that trash and recycling are being collected together as trash

Last spring, St. Louis Mayor Tishaura Jones announced that the city was resuming alley recycling pickups. The city had suspended service months before, citing a shortage of trucks and workers, and the announcement during Jones’ State of the City address generated good publicity — and relief.

But nearly seven months after the city supposedly resumed alleyway pickup, a growing body of evidence suggests St. Louis quietly moved away from separate trash and recycling pickups — routinely emptying recycling containers into garbage trucks.

In a statement made to 13th Ward Alderwoman Anne Schweitzer, which Schweitzer shared on Twitter, the Street Department suggested refuse workers are making value judgments on recycling bins.

“If high levels of contamination (i.e. trash) are seen along an alley recycling collection route, those blue dumpsters may be collected with trash dumpsters,” the statement read, before encouraging people to use city-designated drop-off locations to ensure recycling.

Nick Dunne, public information o er for the ayor s o e doubled down on the statement in a message to RFT on Friday.

“The City continues to collect refuse and recycling separately except in instances where the recycling has been contaminated,” Dunne wrote. “We encourage residents to contact the Citizens Service Bureau at 622-4800, online or @stlcsb on Twitter if they have concerns about collection.”

Many residents, however, say it’s all too clear city workers are simply loading bins into trash trucks, with no inspection.

Dan Lovings has seen it in the Academy neighborhood for years. Over the past two weeks, Princeton Heights Neighborhood Association board Vice President Derrick Neuner has only heard residents’ complaints heat up.

Neuner says he realizes city refuse workers are understaffed and unpaid. But he believes the city should acknowledge what’s happening with recycling.

“I think one of the things they have to be more accountable for is that they’re not recycling,” he says. “It’s a waste of our time. It’s a waste of their time. And so it just makes me very frustrated.”

John Sahaida doesn’t even try to recycle in his alley anymore. He packs his boxes, bottles and paper into his car and hauls them to the drop-off center at a Carondelet firehouse.

Sahaida has seen his recycling combined with trash one too many times. A trash truck rolls down his alley, picks up his recycling and trash, and swiftly empties it all in the same truck. No one looks into the dumpsters to gauge contamination. He has even captured video of the workers in action.

“If you want to actually really re y e you dri e it to ike a fire-

house,” he says, chuckling. “And it’s like, ‘What is going on? Why is this not a priority? It’s a basic city service.’”

ahaida finds the situation infuriating. He pays the $14 monthly recycling fee assessed to all city homes and carefully organizes what he’s discarding.

“A lot of people take the time to separate this stuff out to get it in the right place,” he says. “And just to see it all dumped in the same trash truck … it’s just mind-boggling to me.”

As recently as the summer of ity o ia s ad itted the trash pick-up was mixing together trash and recycling during a labor shortage. In response, it opened nearly 30 locations where residents could drop off recycling.

But even after Mayor Jones formally announced recycling would return on May 31, 2022, problems continued. Initially, as the city struggled to pick up recycling, trash seemed to get short shrift. During the summer of 2022, when the Refuse Division was short 10 drivers and seven trucks, trash piled up in alleyways, sitting there for weeks. During June of 2022, the city logged 4,700 complaints –– more than double the amount

in June 2021.

As trash pickups have increased, those complaints have lessened. But skepticism about recycling remains. In September, Fox 2 reported a user-submitted video of trash and recycling being combined. Alderwoman Schweitzer reached out to the Street Department after hearing complaints from residents, writing on Twitter, “A lot of people have reached out to me recently saying they’ve seen trash and recycling being combined.”

South-city resident Sarah Wood Martin had heard similar allegations for years while serving as the 11th Ward alderwoman. But she had never seen it herself.

The morning after reading Schweitzer’s tweet, trucks rumbled down her alley. She walked to her back porch. There, she watched the dump truck take every trash and recycling bin in the alley and place them in the same truck without inspection.

Wood Martin also understands that the issue is nuanced. “So complicated,” she says. For example, the dumpsters, which have hooks, require unique trucks for collection, barring the city from contracting out to a private company.

At the most basic level, though, the city just lacks resources, and it lacks drivers. It’s been a problem for many administrations, she says. “Only so many people and a lot of dumpsters.”

She says she understands if the city cannot pick up recycling. But if they can’t, she just wants to know.

“Just level with people,” she says. n

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Residents say trash trucks are combining their trash and recycling. | VIA FLICKR / PAUL SABLEMAN
“ They’re not recycling. It’s a waste of our time. It’s a waste of their time. And so it just makes me very frustrated.”

A New Chief

Last Wednesday, Mayor Tishaura Jones announced Robert Tracy as the new chief of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department.

Tracy was the police chief for Wilmington, Delaware, a city that Tracy said went from being dubbed “Murder Town USA” to “turnaround town” during his tenure as chief.

Prior to being chief of the Wilmington force, Tracy worked in Chicago as a crime control strategist and in the New York City Police Department where he attained the rank of captain.

“I will work to give you a police department that’s responsive to your needs, a police force that’s accountable and accessible,” said Tracy, who has worked in law enforcement or security since 1984.

In introducing him, Jones spoke of his “proven track record” of reducing violent

Guaranteed Basic Income

crimes in the cities where he’s worked previously. Under his tenure in Delaware, shootings dropped 50 percent, and crime overall went down 27 percent.

Tracy, who will be taking command of a department some say is short-staffed, talked about his own history of being

able to retain officers in the Wilmington department, even when they were offered more money to go elsewhere.

Tracy will be the first SLMPD chief to come from outside its own ranks, which was also the case for the Wilmington department when Tracy took the top job

there. Wilmington is a city with a little more than 70,000 residents, the majority of whom are nonwhite.

Tracy said that it’s his belief a small number of people are committing most of the crimes in St. Louis, and his strategy would not be one of “arresting everyone to get those few.”

When asked what he’d do about the SLMPD’s contentious relationship with Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner, Tracy said that his not coming from within the ranks of St. Louis law enforcement would likely be an asset.

“Whatever happened in the past, I’m not attached to that,” he said.

Earlier this year in Wilmington, the city council passed a vote of no confidence in Tracy over a lack of diversity and transparency in the department.

Tracy said that the issue in Wilmington was “very short-lived” and cited the fact that recent police academy classes in Wilmington have been 80 percent people of color.

Tracy said that in the near future, he plans to be in every one of the city’s neighborhoods, getting to know the communities whose policing he will be responsible for.

“There’s a lot of places that I could have applied to,” he said. “And this is the only place I did.”

Tracy will start Monday, January 9. n

ers or recently incarcerated people. St. Louis’ program will target families with children in St. Louis Public Schools who make less than 170 percent of the federal poverty level.

of recipients putting the funds toward groceries, utilities and gas.

Abill to give $500 in monthly payments to about 440 St. Louis households for 18 months received its final approval from the St. Louis Board of Aldermen last week. The bill, backed by Mayor Tishaura Jones, now heads to her desk for her final approval.

Based on the bill’s plan, $5 million in pandemic relief funds would be distributed to families in poverty-stricken households for 18 months.

Over 30 U.S. cities have launched similar guaranteed-basic-income programs, including Chicago and Atlanta. The funds are usually tailored to benefit specific populations, such as new moth-

A large portion of SLPS families live in unstable housing conditions, Mayoral Chief of Staff Jared Boyd explained at a committee meeting last week. Schools are spending lots of resources to stabilize these families, Boyd said. Offering cash assistance would alleviate the school’s burden and provide stability to families who struggle to keep their affairs in order.

“It is a lot easier to focus on either making your child’s doctor appointment or applying for a job when you don’t have to think about the immediate needs of where your next meal is coming from or how you’ll prevent a utility from getting cutting off or how you’ll get to a job if your car isn’t working,” Boyd said.

Throughout the debate over this bill, the mayor’s office has contended the direct-cash-assistance program the city passed last year was successful, claiming that providing recipients a one-time payment of $500 increased their opportunities for employment, with a majority

Some aldermen weren’t convinced. Third Ward Alderman Brandon Bosley thought the bill should outline how families could spend the funds. At last week’s board meeting, 23rd Ward Alderman Joe Vaccaro said he disagreed with how the bill would only benefit a few hundred families in need when there are several thousand in St. Louis.

Nineteenth Ward Alderwoman Marlene Davis questioned the effectiveness of providing families $500 when several community organizations and support systems already provided services for needy families.

“You’re putting a Band-Aid on something that don’t even need a Band-Aid,” Davis said.

But guaranteed basic income is only a small part of the bill. Overall, the bill proposes allocating $52.2 million in American Rescue Plan funds to various community investments.

The largest appropriation — $19.86 million — would go to the city’s Department of Human Services to provide housing stabilization, senior services and emergency rental assistance along with the proposal for guaranteed basic income.

Other appropriations include $13 million to federally qualified health centers for them to develop and expand. The St. Louis Agency on Training and Employment would receive $6 million to bolster year-round jobs for youth.

For the most part, aldermen opposed to the guaranteed-basic-income portion of the bill ended up voting in favor of the bill anyway.

It received 21 yes votes and one no. Second Ward Alderwoman Lisa Middlebrook voted present, and 11th Ward Alderman James Lappe abstained.

“We rose collectively to the occasion today,” 26th Ward Alderwoman Shameem Clark Hubbard, who sponsored the bill, said in a statement. “I’m proud to have played a role in passing a bill that will directly impact working families in our beloved city of St. Louis.”

The bill does not set forth a timeline on when eligible St. Louisans could apply for assistance from the guaranteed-basic-income program. The mayor’s office has not announced a timeline yet.

“We will take lessons learned from other direct-payment pilot programs across the country and take the time to make sure any application process is fair and equitable,” spokesman Nick Desideri said. n

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Nearly 500 families will get monthly payments to help make ends meet
Robert Tracy will be the first out-of-state hire for the St. Louis city police-chief position
Incoming Police Chief Robert Tracy speaks at city hall. | RYAN KRULL

MISSOURILAND

Jolly Green Rave

e Shrek rave was fueled by nostalgia and green paint

Hundreds of Shrek enthusiasts and EDM fans packed Red Flag (3040 Locust Street, 314-714- 67 red agstl. com) last week for the Shrek Rave, one of the many pop-culturethemed dance parties currently touring the country. The motto of the night was “It’s dumb, just come have fun,” and fans took it to heart, showing up wildly attired and clearly there to enjoy themselves.

St. Louisans showed off their Shrek gear while dancing to multiple DJs as they mixed electronic usi ith the o ie s o ia soundtrack. n

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OUR HOME [ ]
A CELEBRATION OF THE UNIQUE AND FASCINATING ASPECTS OF
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alarming rate
Missouri prisons and St. Louis jails, and many families struggle to get answers about what happened
their loved ones
Deadly Lockup Inmates are dying at an
in
to

The attack was one of a spate of assaults a ainst oth orre tions o ers and in ates at a prison in southern Missouri. Word of the assau ts ha enin at a rate of a out one er day eaked out. he issouri e art ent of Corrections issued a statement that downplayed the violence and didn’t mention the victims’ names.

i ey s father at says that he sti fee s his son s resen e. ot on a o he to d his e a

floor below.

to play Johnny Cash and the computer chose the son a o reen ” a a ad a out a kid busted for possession but who winds up with a death sentence. Pat said he’d been listening to ash for years ut that as the first ti e he’d ever heard that song. He interpreted it as a sign from Josh.

The Riverfront Times has long followed the epidemic of violence and unrest in jails and prisons across the state and in neighboring Il-

inois. ut after o era e of that atta k fa ilies of inmates began reaching out trying to get information about their loved ones that the department of corrections refused to share.

in e then the e ide i of death has on y gotten worse. Inmates have reported prisons ein a ash in dru s and r h ity efenders says that the city jail has not even reported all of the inmates that have died there this year.

In-custody deaths elicit little sympathy from the u i ut here e ook at the i a t that these deaths and the secrecy of our correctional system has on families. It’s not a new probe . n ash s year o d son a o s father lawyers up and demands an investigation. A sheriff retires a ou e of uards et fired and the prison puts “a brand-new coat of paint on a o s e ” to ready it for the ne t in ate.

High Time

Despite a more restrictive mail policy, Missouri prisons are awash in drugs

Roughly three inmates in Missouri prisons have been dying every week for the past fi e onths an a ar in rate even more disturbing because it coincides with a strict new mail policy intended to stop drugs such as fentanyl and synthetic marijuana from getting into state corrections facilities.

he ne ai o i y hi h took effe t u y ans in ates from receiving physical mail. Instead the ai is routed to orida here it is s anned and an e etronic copy is sent to inmates on their tablet devices.

n the fi e onths rior to u y in ates died in issouri prison custody. But there have een deaths in the fi e onths since. Not all the deaths are from o erdoses ut a ursory ook at who is dying while incarcerated shows that many of these deaths can’t be easily attributed to natural causes.

Seven inmates in the prison in Licking died within a month of each other this fall; their average age as . hree youn en t o in their s and one in his s died within a week of each other at the prison in Bonne Terre in October. Of the 10 men who passed away in a issouri rison that onth the a era e a e as around acording to Missouri Department of Corrections records.

One current MODOC inmate spoke to the RFT on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution from prison staff. He said that despite being incarcerated at ark orre tiona enter a facility focused on helping inmates with alcohol and substance abuse issues dru s are ourin in. at a treat ent a and

e eryone here is ettin hi h ” the inmate says.

He says that the two most popular drugs are fentanyl and syntheti ari uana hi h is referred to as K2. Meth is a distant third. He goes on to say that in his years in the state rison syste he’s seen synthetic marijuana get ore o erfu its effe t on users more pronounced. What used to produce a weed-like high now sends users into what inmates at Ozark Correctional Center call e isodes.”

The morning this inmate talked to the RFT he d seen an in ate high on K2 go out into the cold in his boxers and run right into a on rete a . ot on a o an inate ha in an e isode” u ed from a second tier in a housing

unit. hat shit akes you stu id ” the inmate says. “A person will wake up and be in the hole and not re e er hat ha ened.”

In an email to the RFT spokeswoman Karen Pojmann stressed that the issue of drug overdoses is by no means exclusive to prisons and that issues of drugs in prisons can’t be separated from the wider epidemic.

“No facility exists in a hermetia y sea ed u e ” she says.

In addition to making people act irrationa y is a so akin i money for whoever is bringing it into prison.

A small piece of material s rayed ith rou h y the si e of a fin ernai i in referred to as a sti k” in rison oes for the Ozark inmate said. A stampsized piece of K2-soaked material se s for an si ed ie e for a ha f a e for and an

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 15
In February 2022, 43-year-old incarcerated Missourian Joshua Miley was stabbed 17 times and thrown 15 feet from a railing onto a concrete
Continued on pg 16
This project was completed with the support of a grant from Columbia University’s Ira A. Lipman Center for Journalism and Civil and Human Rights in conjunction with Arnold Ventures.

entire sheet for around $1,200.

As expensive as a K2 is, this inmate says that fentanyl is what people “are getting rich off of,” with a gram going for between $300 and $400.

Pojmann told the RFT that it’s “the demand for drugs that drives the supply of drugs, and the demand comes from the offenders who use drugs.”

Pojmann adds that the department is expanding substance recovery services as well as inmate access to medication-assisted treatment and availability of Narcan.

The ease with which these drugs can be concealed makes it “virtually impossible to prevent something as small as a lethal dose of fentanyl from ever entering a facility without also keeping all food, medical supplies, legal mail and people out of that facility,” Pojman says.

The inmate tells the RFT that sometimes money is exchanged via items purchased from the commissary. Other times, it’s through sexual favors. But most of the time, money moves through CashApp, with the inmate buyer instructing his family on the outside to send money to an account associated with another inmate or with a staff member.

It’s been something of an open secret among those who pay attention to MODOC that with physical mail shut down, and inmates’ visitors subject to searches, drugs are primarily getting in via prison staff. Both activists who keep a close watch on MODOC as well as the director of the Missouri orre tions ers union ha e previously told the RFT as much. o ann re ent y onfir ed to the o a iate in the arks that staff have recently been arrested and dismissed for smuggling in contraband.

In June, 30-year-old Michael L. onski a orre tions o er at the prison in Licking, was arrested on charges of bringing drugs into the prison where he worked. The Licking News reported that Lonski told police he’d met with an inmate’s family and agreed to smuggle in a piece of paper soaked in “liquid narcotics” in exchange for cash from the family.

According to a Licking Police Department report, Lonski said he’d been bringing drugs into the rison for fi e onths during which time he said he’d made about $30,000.

In a statement to police, Lonski

said he was initially approached by two inmates who threatened to kill his kids. They said they knew his address, the cars his family drove, the ages of his children and when his family would be home. Lonski initially agreed to smuggle in drugs to protect his family. Subsequently, however, Lonski said he was paid $2,000 per delivery.

e re u ar y rende oused ith one of the inmates’ mothers at a local Jack in the Box, where he picked up greeting cards soaked in K2 that Lonski smuggled into prison concealed in his boot. During routine cell inspections, he’d slip the cards under an inmate’s bunk. A rando sear h of orre tions o ers brought the smuggling scheme to light. Lonksi is scheduled to be arraigned early next year.

But even after Lonski’s arrest, drugs kept getting in. Starting in August, seven men died in Licking within a month of each other. Three of the men had fentanyl in their systems, and another had a combination of fentanyl and xya ine a horse tran ui i er e en more potent than fentanyl.

In October 2020, a 39-year-old

woman employed as a cook at the Jefferson City Correctional Center was arrested with 39 grams of meth and one pound of K2 at the prison. The meth was packaged into bags for distribution and the K2 had been rolled into bundles to be smuggled into the prison.

Despite the case being two years old, a source with the Cole County heriff s e said it is sti under review with the prosecuting attorney s o e and no a tua har es have been brought against her.

According to St. Louis Public Radio, staff who are caught smuggling in drugs typically are referred to the warden and get “walked out,” meaning they lose their jobs but aren’t referred to law enforcement.

An individual who was proseuted as orre tions o er iothy Davis. Local police arrested him at a prison in Moberly with six ounces of a “leafy substance” that had been sprayed with K2. He later said that he was paid $300 via CashApp per delivery. He pleaded guilty to delivery of a controlled substance to a prison and re ei ed a fi e year senten e.

Corrections staff have long complained about being overworked and underpaid, so it’s no sur rise that so e ou d find a way to make easy, illicit money. In a statement to the police, Davis said that he was about to lose his house. Lonski, the man who said he ade in fi e onths via drug smuggling, earned a salary of a little less than $35,000.

A woman, who asked to be referred to only as Ann, frequently visits a loved one at Farmington Correctional Center. She says that the prison recently installed bodyscanning machines for outside visitors.

The machines in question are Tek84 Intercept scanners, the cost of which various sources place at anywhere between $145,000 and $160,000 each.

Like most everyone who pays attention to Missouri corrections, Ann is aware of how drugs get into prisons and the danger they pose. She says it bothers her and other visitors when they are subject to thorough searches as they watch staff get waved through.

“I am so confused about why I have to take off my shoes, hand over my jacket and my change bag to be looked at, but staff walk right through the metal detector and do not,” Ann tells the RFT. “One staff member set off the metal detector, and the staff monitoring the thing asked what set it off, and the staff entering just said ‘Aw, it’s my boots,’ and then just walked in.” n

16 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
Ozark Correctional Center sta has been arrested and dismissed for smuggling in drugs. | GOOGLE EARTH
TIME Continued from pg 15
Sometimes drug money is exchanged via items purchased from the commissary. Other times, it’s through sexual favors. But most of the time, money moves through CashApp.
HIGH

A Daughter Lost

Chuny Ann Reed was awaiting trial for her connection to the deadliest mass overdose in St. Louis history when she died in prison. Despite an autopsy, questions remain

Death ends a life but not a relationship.

So it goes with Carolyn Reed, who’s still sifting through the events of the last 10 months to process her daughter Chuny Ann Reed’s complex life — and death.

Chuny Ann Reed, 47, was addicted for many years to heroin. And to support her addiction, she sold ra k o aine out of her to oor apartment at the Parkview Apartments, in the heart of the Central West End neighborhood.

Then, in early February, everything blew apart. Federal authorities arrested and charged Reed for her role in the worst mass drug overdose in St. Louis history.

Eleven people overdosed — eight fatally — after ingesting crack cocaine that Reed allegedly had sold them. The cocaine was tainted with fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 100 times more powerful than morphine.

Five months later, Reed herself was dead, the victim of a rare and undetected medical condition.

Carolyn Reed said she had long known about her daughter’s problems with drug addiction and had warned her many times to get help.

“With her being a drug addict, anything could happen,” she says. “She’d always been told, ‘You living this life, you know what comes with this life. You got to deal with the consequences when it comes.’”

ia y at east the ase is closed on Chuny Ann Reed’s death: She died from an untreated aortic tumor that obstructed an external arotid artery o kin the o of blood to her brain.

That’s according to the coroner’s report based on the autopsy performed on her soon after her death.

At the time of her death, on July 18, Reed was awaiting trial at the Tri-County Detention Center, in Ullin, Illinois, located about 150

miles southeast of St. Louis.

But is the coroner’s report — obtained by the RFT under the Illinois Freedom of Information Act — telling the full story?

Not according to Donisha Blount, 30, the second of Reed’s three daughters.

Soon after her mother’s collapse at Tri-County and subsequent transport to a Mount Vernon hospital, Blount says she received a message on Facebook from a

woman who said her best friend was Reed’s cellmate and had witnessed what happened when Reed collapsed in a hallway leadin to the ai infir ary.

Blount later spoke on the phone to the e ate ho identified herself as Chrissy Watts, Blount says.

Watts told her that on July 16 Reed collapsed from an apparent heart attack.

Blount says Watts told her she

was calling for the guards. “She had a heart attack; she had a heart attack. And nobody came.”

Watts estimated that Reed was yin on the ha ay oor for about 20 minutes before jail personnel came to her aid.

“And when they did come, they had her in the infir ary for four hours before they got her to a hospital,” Blount says Watts told her. “And that’s crucial, especially when you’re dealing with the lack of oxygen to the brain. All it takes is seven minutes before it’s critical.”

The RFT could not independently verify if Watts was an inmate at the Tri-County Detention Center at the time of Reed’s death.

The Parkview mass overdose event was the subject of a Riverfront Times cover story, whose print edition in mid-July appeared the day Reed collapsed in the jail.

Reed had been charged with “distribution of cocaine base and fentanyl” and had faced at least 20 years in prison if she’d been convicted, according to court papers.

Dr. Christopher J. Kiefer, a forensic pathologist based in Madisonville, Kentucky, conducted the postmortem examination of Reed’s corpse on July 24. He submitted his report to Roger Hayse, the

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 17
Continued on pg 18
Carolyn Reed holds a picture of her daughter Chuny Ann Reed in her home. | THEO WELLING
“She had a medical problem everybody ignored on the day of her death. That’s the catch right there. She’s going to seek medical help. You all denied her medical help.”

Jefferson County, Illinois, coroner, on November 3, the report shows.

Kiefer’s report did not show the presence of drugs in Reed’s system at the time of her death but noted a history of heroin use. Blount acknowledged her mother was a persistent user of heroin and other opioids throughout her life.

Jail authorities also knew of her history of drug addiction and other medical problems but denied her access to decent medical care, Carolyn Reed said.

“But she had a medical problem everybody ignored on the day of her death,” she says. “That’s the catch right there. She’s going to seek medical help. You all denied her medical help.”

Kiefer’s report notes that Chuny Ann Reed had a “history of seizure and death after stroke-like symptoms” and that she suffered from “hypertensive cardiovascu-

lar disease.”

Watts, the cellmate, told Blount that each morning she joined a long line of jail inmates receiving medications for health conditions such as diabetes. Despite Reed’s long history of hypertension, strokes and seizures, “‘I never see your momma going over there to join the meds line,’” Blount says Watts told her.

The question as to whether Reed was getting adequate care in detention is still up for debate, and may not be answered. The Illinois State Police criminal investigation unit began looking into Reed’s death a few days after she died.

Neil Laster, an Illinois State Police special agent leading the criminal probe, says the case will remain open for a year after it was initially launched.

“There is no foul play suspected,” Laster says. “This case is going to stay open for a year. We do that as standard. All our death investigations are like that, regardless.”

Laster says Illinois State Police investigators interviewed jail in-

mates who were there the same time as Reed was, but he declined to elaborate.

“I’m not going to discuss any s e ifi s of the in esti ation ust the fact we interviewed inmates as well,” Laster says.

either ai o ia s nor the . . Marshals Service did anything to inform Reed’s family about her death. The only updates Blount says her family received on her mother’s medical condition and cause of death was from an RFT writer, Blount says.

Reed never received professional help for her drug problems, which began when she was 17.

“She just decided she didn’t want to do it,” Carolyn Reed says about her daughter, who would tell others not to worry about her drug addiction, assuring family she had it under control. “As kids do.”

Reed describes her late daughter as “very positive. She had a bubbly attitude. Always grinning and laughing and cracking a joke.”

But the upbeat demeanor masked a world of deep pain, Car-

olyn Reed says.

“She had daddy issues,” she says, referring to Chuny Ann’s father, a career military man.

Her father rejected her because “she wasn’t good enough, or she wasn’t doing the things he wanted her to do,” Carolyn Reed says.

More than 10 months have passed since the drug overdose that killed eight people, but so far law enforcement agents have not spoken to Carolyn Reed, she says.

“They ain’t talked to me, and I ain’t called them,” she says.

Chuny Ann Reed’s death is really hard for her 19-year-old daughter Emily, who suffers from severe cerebral palsy, is non-verbal and is onfined to a hee hair says Blount, who cares for Emily, her baby sister.

“So imagine one day [our mom is] here, and now she’s not,” Donisha Blount says. “It’s really hard for her to understand these things.” n

Fitzgerald can be reached at msfit gerald 006 gmail.com.

Secret Deaths

When people die in lockup, the last place that will give a family answers is the jail

Courtney McNeal, 41, was determined to give his twin daughters the stability he hadn’t gotten as a kid. McNeal’s dad passed away when he was young. His mom was into drugs. McNeal met Jennifer Biesoer in and fi e years ater when she gave birth to Faith and Patience, the twin girls became McNeal’s world.

“That’s what Courtney lived for every day,” Biesboer says.

McNeal was working two fastfood jobs when the girls were orn. e ater ot ertified in HVAC repair and picked up stray call-center jobs.

“Whatever it took, he would make things happen for us and ut us first ” ies oer says.

In May of 2020, at a gas station in St. Louis’ Hamilton Heights neighborhood, private security uards ere refi in an with cash when one of them set down a bag containing $64,000.

The guard turned to hand something to his partner when, according to a probable-cause statement, McNeal grabbed the bag and took off.

McNeal tripped, dropping his wallet and phone. He got into a tussle with the guard over the money bag, and as the two men wrestled, McNeal tossed as much cash as he could into his car. He drove off with around $15,000 but left behind his wallet, which contained his ID.

McNeal was later arrested and charged with stealing more than $25,000.

This year, McNeal was free on bond, living in the Carondelet neighborhood with his family, when the Thursday before Labor Day police picked him up on a warrant for failing to appear at a court date related to that ATM theft and two lesser charges involving synthetic marijuana and paraphernalia possession.

Five days later, McNeal called Biesboer a little before 9 a.m. from the City Justice Center to let her know he might be getting a court date that very day, meaning there was a good chance he’d be home that evening.

“I’m sorry for the B.S.,” he said. “I love you.”

That afternoon, Biesboer got another call from the city jail.

“When I answered, it wasn’t him,” Biesboer says. “It was some lady. I was his legal next of kin. She called me and told me that he had expired.”

McNeal’s death was one of at least six that occurred in the city jail from the end of April until the beginning of September. In April, Robert Miller, 50, died less than a week before his trial for kidnapping and sodomy was set to begin. July saw the death of Augustus Collier, a 30-year-old who jail administrators say died by suicide. The following month, 33-year-old

Dennelle K. Johnson died in custody. Less than a month later, Donald Henry, 48, died on September 3, only three days before McNeal. Each death made headlines when it happened, but it’s possible not all the jail deaths were reported.

The ArchCity Defenders’ Fatal State Violence Program says that at least one other man, whose name is unknown, died in jail custody this year. ArchCity attorneys uncovered the death through extensive interviews with detainees and individuals recently released from the jail with the intention of better understanding conditions there. They think the death happened in November, resulting from a stabbing incident, but the jail never released anything publicly about it.

Attorneys with the ArchCity Defenders accused the jail of offering only “empty” answers in the wake of these deaths and a lack of transparency concerning how

18 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
Mike
LOST Continued from pg 17

they would be investigated.

Families of at least four of the deceased men have taken it upon the se es to fi ure out ho their loved ones died. Their attorneys have uncovered new information about the circumstances leading up to the detainees’ deaths. Though early in the process — no iti ation has yet een fi ed — disturbing details are already coming to light and, if previous wrongful death lawsuits against the justice center are any indicator, the city may be facing steep finan ia ena ties.

Attorney Bill Meehan is currently working on behalf of Biesboer to investigate McNeal’s death. Meehan says a medical examiner’s report shows that McNeal died of injuries that would suggest he was beaten. He suffered blunt trauma to his torso and lower extremities. The cause of death was a ruptured gastric ulcer, an injury consistent with having been beaten. Biesboer says that when she was allowed to see McNeal’s body, there was a “big bump” on the side of his forehead that hadn’t been there the week prior.

When asked who might have beaten McNeal, Meehan says, “We think it was COs, correctional offi ers. ut e don t kno .” e s fi ed unshine re uests for surveillance video from inside the City Justice Center. “But in a jail where the locks don’t work, who knows if the video cameras work,”

he says.

Meehan says that his and other attorneys’ investigations are integral because the jail can’t be trusted to investigate itself.

“They’re going to make sure that the results come out the way they want,” he says. The prison is not even forthcoming with details in federal reports.

Since 2014, the Death in Custody Reporting Act has encouraged jails and prisons throughout the ountry to fi e re orts of ustody deaths. Those reports are submitted to the Missouri Department of Public Safety, which then submits them to the federal government. Custodial agencies aren’t legally re uired to fi e these re orts ut oftentimes in order to receive federal grant money, the reporting act must be adhered to.

RFT requested the DICRA reports for 2022 and found only four submitted by the City Justice Center. (Monte Chambers, the program manager for St. Louis’ Department of Public Safety, said some are still awaiting information from the medical examiner.)

The report stemming from McNeal’s death is incredibly thin, saying simply that McNeal was in jail custody when he “became unresponsive at 10:29 a.m.” and was transported to SSM Health Saint ouis ni ersity os ita here a doctor pronounced him dead.

The DICRA report for Robert Lee Miller, the man who died two

days before his trial was set to begin, is only slightly more detailed. The report says that Miller began complaining of chest pains at around 12:15 a.m. He was having trouble breathing as he was taken by wheelchair to the jail’s medical unit, and “soon after his arrival, the subject lost consciousness at 12:34 a.m.,” the report says.

Attorney Kevin Young, who is investigating Miller’s death, tells the RFT that based on what he’s learned about the circumstances surrounding Miller’s death, “It’s definite y a ase. kno enou h no to fi e suit.”

Young says that an autopsy shows Miller died of a pulmonary embolism caused by a deep vein thrombosis — a blot clot formed in Miller’s veins, likely the legs or arms, and then traveled to an artery in his lungs, cutting off oxygen. Experts say that Miller would have been experiencing symptoms for some time prior to his passing away.

“We have reason to believe that Mr. Miller was exhibiting what should have been concerning symptoms for at least several hours if not maybe longer. And we think the jail just just didn’t take him seriously, basically, until it was too late,” Kevin Young tells RFT

Young later stressed in an email that he’s early in his investigation and isn’t certain whom Miller complained to and when, but

that is exactly what he’s intent on findin out. oun says he ans to talk to Miller’s cellmate at the time of his death. “That will be important,” he says.

It’s too early to know exactly how much, if any, the city may have to pay out if wrongdoing is found in connection to these deaths. In October, the county jail settled a wrongful death lawsuit for $1.2 million. The plaintiff in that case alleged that jail staff ignored 31-year-old Daniel Stout’s obvious signs of medical duress eadin u to his death. n the first week of December, the City of St. Louis settled a lawsuit with the surviving family members of DeJuan Brison, who took his own life a few hours after being released from the city jail into custody at the jail in Jennings. Brison’s family alleged that the city jail failed to alert the Jennings jail that Brison needed to be on suicide watch. The settlement amount in that case was not disclosed.

Biesboer says that she is still working to accept the fact that her partner of 17 years, the father to her 11-year-old twins, isn’t coming home. It’s a process made harder by the fact that she doesn’t even know the full circumstances surrounding his demise.

“I’m still looking at the door waiting for him to walk in,” she says. “My kids still have high school, prom, graduation. He’s never gonna be here for any of that.” n

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 19
Courtney McNeal “expired” in jail earlier this year. His family doesn’t know what happened. | COURTESY PHOTO

CALENDAR

THURSDAY 12/22

Jazzed Up

Craving a jazzed-up twist on the Christmas classics? Jazz St. Louis has you covered. Celebrate the holidays with a special showcase of Duke Ellington’s Nutcracker Suite performed by the Jazz St. Louis Big Band (3536 Washington Avenue, 314-571-6000). Arranged by Ellington and Billy Strayhorn, these jazz interpretations of Tchaikovsky’s classic ballet are sure to get you in the Christmas spirit. The performance will also include Ellington classics like “Take the A Train” and “Cottontail.” Curtains rise at 7:30 p.m., and tickets start at $32. Grab yours at my.jazzstl. org/1350/1353.

Christmas in St. Louis

Yes, you live in St. Louis, but have you ever seen Meet Me in St. Louis? It’s OK, we haven’t either. But no e an a at h the fi in the most St. Louis of ways during the Missouri History Museum’s (5700 Lindell Boulevard, 314-7464599, mohistory.org) Have Yourself a Merry Little Movie Night The event kicks off at 5:30 p.m. with a happy hour and appetizers for ur hase fro u arfire. ou can also make a Sugar Plum ornament, watch Ballet 314 perform excerpts from the Nutcracker and get a tour of the museum. At 6:30 p.m., it’s time for a singalong version of Meet Me in St. Louis. Don’t worry, singing and costumes are not required, but both are encouraged. The event is free.

Last Chance to Get Lit

If you have not been to LIT: A Christmas Pop-Up Experience at Molly’s in Soulard (816 Geyer Avenue, 314-241-6200, mollysinsoulard.com/lit), then this is your warning that its last days are this week (through Friday, December 23). So grab some friends and head down the gaudily decorated bar to try the 12 Drinks of Litmas, such as the Griswold Christmas Tree

and Lit Reindeer, and small bites including Reindeer Balls (meatballs made with beef and bacon) and deep-fried ornaments (fried mozzarella). The event requires reservations, which are $10 per person. The bar is open till 1:30 a.m., but the kitchen is only open until 9 p.m.

FRIDAY 12/23

Karaoke Christmas

There is no better time and place for karaoke than two days before Christmas at the City Museum (750 North 16th Street). Even if you’re self-conscious about your singing, you’ll be in a total fever dream of a setting so Yoko-Onoesque that off-key wailing will fit in ust fine. so t o days efore Christmas means there will be more than a touch of holiday magic in the air. The only question is what song you’ll sing. Bruce’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is played out. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” but if you’re inclined to go

a little off the beaten path, we suggest Wham!’s “Last Christmas.”

We Need to Talk about Kevin!

You have not seen Joe Pesci get his head it on fire or anie tern take an iron to the face until you’ve seen those ne’er-do-well home invaders get their comeuppance as John Williams’ incredible score is performed live. Watch Macaulay Culkin carnage from the comfort of a plush seat at Powell Hall (718 North Grand Boulevard, 314534-1700, slso.org) during Home Alone. The evening begins at 7 p.m., and tickets start at $50.

Plant Life

Sick of all the holiday hullabaloo or just need a last-minute gift idea? Well, get a break from Christmas everything and make something beautiful at Bowood Farms’ (4605 Olive Street, 314-454-6868, bowoodfarms.com) Kusamono Workshop, which teaches the Japanese art of planting in shallow bowls. The arrangements usually

onsist of i d rasses or o ers that suggest a particular season. The workshop runs from 2 to 3 p.m. and costs $45.

SATURDAY 12/24

A Christmas Eve for the Rest of Us

There are some poor sods who are sittin in tra at ay of i hts or Candy Cane Lane trying to get some last-minute Christmas cheer into their ungrateful kids. But not you. Instead, you can check out Christmas Eve for Heathens at Earthbound Beer (2724 Cherokee, 314-769-9576, earthboundbeer. com). The small-batch brewery is offering a gathering spot for nonconformists and will have plenty of seasonal releases on hand including the Krampus Gruit for the naughties and Winter Dream for the nice ones. The event is from 4 to 11 p.m. and is free.

All Is Bright

You want to visit the neighbor-

20 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
20
Candy Cane Lane lights up south St. Louis over the holiday season. | REUBEN HEMMER

hood Christmas light display Candy Cane Lane on Christmas Eve? You sick bastard. But we’ve got some tips to make this as enjoyable as possible. For starters, don’t go down Chippewa; get out that Google map and chart a course down the back streets. Dress warmly. Park your car (otherwise, all the lights you’ll see for two hours are tail lights) and then get out and walk. You won’t be alone. Lots of folks abandon their cars. Bring a hot chocolate (schnapps optional) with you as you traipse along the lanes and get to see the lights up close. Candy Cane Lane is on the 6500 block of Murdoch, but the Christmas cheer has spread widely across St. Louis Hills, so it won’t be hard to stumble upon some lights.

Alternalights

As Christmas approaches, the trees of Lost Hill Lake (2300 Mill Hill Road, St Clair; losthilllakeevents.com) will be transformed into a sea of holiday lights. Located 45 minutes from St. Louis, tucked away in the woods of Franklin County, Lost Hill Lake will show off thousands of lights during its second annual Grove of Lights event. There are plenty of activities for visitors to enjoy while they’re exploring. The event i feature onfires hot o oa

s’mores, kids games, a local vendor market and photo opportunities. There’s even a private heated igloo that you can reserve. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $7 for kids.

MONDAY 12/26

It Ain’t Over Yet!

Some people think Christmas ends at 11:59 p.m. on December 25. Those people are wrong. You can still scrounge up some Christmas cheer for the rest of the week. It’s not too late! For some post-Christmas-ham merriment, why not check out WonderLight’s Christmas at the World Wide Technology Raceway (700 Raceway Boulevard, Madison, Illinois)? It runs now through Sunday, January 1, from 5 to 10 p.m. Tickets are $30 to $100 depending on the size of your party.

TUESDAY 12/27

Flowers Everywhere

It’s your last chance to catch the Holiday Floral Show at the Missouri Botanical Garden (4344 Shaw Boulevard, 314-577-5100, missouribotanicalgarden.org),

which closes Sunday, January 1. So head over any day between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. before then and check out the festive installation of poinsettias, rosemary and other seasonal plants. There’s even a model train. It’s located in the Jack C. Taylor Visitor Center inside the Emerson Conservatory. This event is included with paid admission.

Icy Matchup

Post-holidays, nothing is better than taking in a sporting event. You haven’t moved off of the couch in four days, but watching the eet skates of the St. Louis Blues as the team takes on the Toronto Maple Leafs (not leaves, dammit) will be just the thing to inspire you to use your limbs again. The matchup is at 7 p.m. at the Enterprise Center (1401 Clark Avenue, 314-622-5400, enterprisecenter.com). Tickets start at $89.

WEDNESDAY 12/28

All Aboard

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would take you on trolley rides at Grant’s Farm? Or when you rode the train at the City Museum for a slow but gloriously fun loop? There’s still a chance for you to enjoy the same experiences as an adult. Like most events tailored to indulge your childhood nostalgia while simultaneously being fun for your grown self, there’s alcohol involved. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, St. Louis Union Station (1820 Market Street, 314-923-3900, stlouisunionstation.com) will host a North Pole Night Cap. Eager passengers will roll out on real trains from Union Station while sipping beer, wine and spiked hot chocolate. Once aboard decorated train cars, guests will travel to the “North Pole” as onboard bars serve beverages and holiday characters prance around. The train ride is 45 minutes long. It starts and ends at the depot at Union Station. Guests are encouraged to wear pajamas, ugly holiday sweaters or whatever festive wear they’re comfortable in. Seating is sold in groups of four and starts at $65.

Downward Meow

At some point during your Wednesday night Whisker Station stretch sesh you find yourse f ith a tail between your legs. Or in your ear. Or brushing your nose as you hang out in downward dog while a very curious upward cat cruises across your mat. That’s both the hazard and the joy that happens when Sweet Peace Yoga descends upon the Kirkwood neighborhood cat cafe and lounge for its weekly Cat Yoga class. This purrfectly peaceful time combines stretching, breath work, standing and balance poses while the adoptable cats of Whisker Station (212 North Kirkwood Road, Kirkwood; 314-3941071, whiskerstation.com) work the room. The event begins at 5:30 p.m. Some prior yoga experience is required.

One Last Holiday Pop-Up

If you missed out on holiday popup bars this year, don’t fret, you can still catch a few stragglers. Today is the last day for A Very Tipsy Christmas at FORM Skybar on the rooftop at Hotel Saint Louis (705 Olive Street). The $20 ticket gets you a two-hour time slot to enjoy holiday-themed cocktails, appetizers and festive holiday decor. The time slots begin at 5 or 7:30 p.m.

Get Bowling

If one of your new year’s resolutions is to start doing more handicrafts so you’re not completely useless when the inevitable apocalypse hits, then get a jump on things with Wooden Bowl Turning with Carbide Tools at Rockler Woodworking and Hardware (11977 St. Charles Rock Road, Suite 110A, Bridgeton; 314-2091116). In this two-hour workshop, you’ll learn how to make a wooden bowl with easy-to-use carbide turning tools. Participants will end the day with a beautiful bowl to take home. The workshop runs from 4 to 6 p.m. and costs $85. n

Have an event you’d like considered for our calendar? Email calendar@riverfronttimes.com.

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 21
WEEK OF DECEMBER 22-28 Get your downward dogs — er, cats — in at cat yoga. | VIA FLICKR / ABEJORRO34
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A Window to Madrid

Ben Poremba’s Bar Moro is a decadent, wonderful journey into Spanish dining culture

gazpacho. It’s why he didn’t obsess over cookbooks when sketching out Bar Moro’s offerings but instead delved into the peninsula’s history, politics, movements and art. “Food is culture,” Poremba likes to say, and for him, Bar Moro represents a part of the Mediterranean that he has yet to explore as completely as others — one that has always fascinated him because of its North African in uen e and si nifi ant e ish culture, the two identities that are expressed in him through his maternal and paternal heritage, respectively.

7610 Wydown Boulevard, Clayton; 314-2963000. Tues.-Sat. 4-10 p.m. (Closed Sunday and Monday.)

If you ask Ben Poremba why he wanted to open a place like Bar Moro, it has little to do with serving the ideal Spanish tortilla, perfecting a croqueta or bringing to life a vibrant glass of

This approach is the secret to Bar Moro’s success, not as a Spanish restaurant but a snapshot of what it feels like to dine in Spain, in all of its rustic, sexy glory. It’s a transportive experience the moment you walk through the front doors from the tree-lined, Tudorleaning Moorlands neighborhood

of Clayton and into the sleek, Iberian eatery. The space is tiny, with roughly 20 table seats and room for about eight more at the bar, making it next to impossible to pass through the room without brushing up against someone you’ve never before met. The dim lighting allows the fantasy that this is a good thing. Add to this the black-on-black walls and banuettes e studded fishin nets that hang from the ceiling, a leg of jamón set into a stand and displayed on the bar top and a surrealist mural by local artist Edo Rosenblith that, while distinct in its own style, nods to Spanish surrealist art, and you get an immersive atmosphere that feels like the sort of restaurant you d find on a Madrid side street.

Poremba’s style is a dominant feature of his persona, which is why it feels like he was meant to take the reins of such a special res-

taurant space. Prior to Bar Moro, the micro-storefront housed Billie ean i oni restaurateur o oinson’s gone-too-soon spot that felt like the pinnacle of her storied career. Like Poremba, Robinson put as much thought into design elements of her properties as she did into the food (this is not at all a knock on the food but drives home just how important aesthetic considerations were to her as part of the overall experience), so his stylish presence in this space makes him a natural successor to his dear friend.

Food writers, myself included, love to talk about dining experiences as being transportive — a beautifully prepared Cuban sandwich can whisk us away to Havana; a soul-stirring khao soi brings about the feeling of being in northern Thailand. What’s so interesting about Bar Moro

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Bar Moro
23
CAFE
Continued on pg 25
Bar Moro favorites include (clockwise from le ) pescado al pil pil, jamón iberico, sherry, escalivada and tinned fish. | MABEL SUEN
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BAR MORO

is that Poremba takes this a step further. The restaurant is not simply evocative; he has masterfully captured the actual experience of dining in Spain. When we chatted for this review, Poremba said one of the greatest compliments he’s received in his culinary career came from a Spanish expat who had actual tears in her eyes when she expressed how much Bar Moro felt like home. This is a feat that could only happen when all elements come together to create a special kind of alchemy, and though I have spent much of this text harping on the aesthetics, this magic could not happen without truly excellent food that captures the essence of Spanish cuisine.

Gazpacho is the initial proof of this kitchen’s talent. Served alongside a shot of gin, the vibrant, chilled tomato soup has a beautifully smooth texture; the tomato’s tartness activates the palate for what’s to come, but when sipped with a bit of the gin, it takes on this deeply savory, white-peppery a or that adds o e ity. i ilarly, pops of Poremba’s private label caviar punctuate a luxuriously creamy egg-salad-adjacent concoction with notes of brine and subtle sea taste. If the gazpacho’s brightness makes you sit up in your seat at attention, the egg and caviar, served with toast points, makes you sink back and bask in the overt decadence.

That unapologetic luxury is the through line at Bar Moro, with the $35-per-ounce jamón Iberico standing as perhaps the clearest example. The intensely nutty aged meat, sliced as thin as a hand can get it, is gently placed atop a marble stand like porcine petals. Generous fat is marbled throughout the meat; when placed on the tongue, it melts like butter. Think of prosciutto as delicate pastel silk and jamón as jewel-toned velvet.

One of Bar Moro’s most notable luxuries is its conserva list, a comprehensive selection of tinned seafood, imported from Spain, that, while nodding to Spanish tradition, has become one of the world’s biggest food trends over the past couple of years. Of the several offerings, we tried shockingly tender scallops that were kissed with gentle smoke and paprika octopus, both of which were not only delicious but just felt sexy.

Three different toasts each offered a completely different experien e. he first hi h featured fresh anchovies atop a pickled

pepper, was a master class in balance. A fava bean version paired the pureed legume with mouthpuckering lemon and a dusting of nutty cheese that refreshed the palate after so many intense a ors. y fa orite the an on tomate, was shocking in how such a simple combination can yield su h intensity. he a or e ua parts olive oil and tomato jam, is one I cannot get out of my mind. he eren enas ue adas an e ant di as e ua y haunt-

ing. For this dish, the kitchen infuses the pureed eggplant with honey and tahini, places it atop charred strips of the purple vegetable, then accents it with sweet tomato pulp and sherry. There’s warmth, smoke, tartness and a very subtle hint of mint — a méan e of a ors that nods to the eastern Mediterranean and North Africa.

Pescado al pil pil, or pan-roasted stur eon airs the eaty fish with various varieties of mush-

rooms — some smoky, some creamy, some intensely earthy — that add depth to the outstanding clam garlic sauce that accents the dish. This mouthwatering, savory nectar was so perfect I found myself soaking up every last bit with pieces of the crusty bread left over from earlier courses.

None of this comes without a price, though, and I’d be remiss if I failed to note that Bar Moro is uite e ensi e. here is a reason for the price tag; Poremba is offerin tru y fine food u h of it imported and all of it of the highest ua ity you an et. e eans into this without apology, and if you want to go on this magical journey with him, you must surrender to this and tell yourself that it’s cheaper than a plane ticket to Madrid (though if you follow Scott’s Cheap Flights, not that much cheaper).

o e er if you think of a ue for what it really means — what you get versus what you pay — Bar Moro is a worthy experience. More than simply a restaurant, this masterful representation of Spanish dining culture is a window into a world we are privileged to witness from our corner of the world — and that is priceless. n

Berenjenas quemadas.............................. $16

Tortilla $24

Pescado al pil pil $49

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Bar Moro
Continued from pg 23
General Manager Timothy Dressel, Chef Brennan Baker and Director of Wine and Service Luciano Racca are integral to the new restaurant. | MABEL SUEN Mar I muntanya is a Catalan-style roasted chicken with lobster sauce. | MABEL SUEN

SHORT ORDERS

The Wright Stuff

Wright’s Tavern in Clayton celebrates steakhouse classics

Matt McGuire and Cary McDowell may have opened Wright’s Tavern (7624 Wydown Boulevard, Clayton; 314-390-1466) just a little over a week ago, but the restaurant has been in the making for much longer — about 23 years.

“I met Matt 23 years ago at King Louie’s; I met my wife, Holly, there, so my love affair with Matt began with my love affair with Holly,” McDowell says. “I started holding court there, and we became best friends. I can’t remember a time he wasn’t my best friend, and we’d always talked about one day doing something together. This is it.”

t s di u t to i a ine a ore impressive culinary dream team than McDowell and McGuire, two industry veterans who, over their many years in the business, have helped to shape the St. Louis culinary landscape.

For McGuire, that began with his gone-but-never-forgotten restaurant, King Louie’s, the south St. ouis esta ish ent that defined the perfect upscale neighborhood tavern for the modern diner. McGuire went on to work for some of the city’s revered restaurants, serve as director of service for Niche Food Group and eventually open the highly acclaimed Louie in DeMun, which stands today as one of the area’s most essential restaurants.

McDowell’s resume is no less impressive. From working for revered chef Daniel Boulud in New York to opening the Crossing in Clayton with Jimmy Fiala, McDowell spent much of his career at the a e of fine dinin efore decamping to help Chris Sommers run his pizza powerhouse, Pi, which grew to include other prop-

erties such as Gringo and Pi-Rico.

Earlier this year, McDowell found himself ready to take on a new challenge — and, serendipitously, it was around the same time McGuire was in talks with legendary St. Louis restaurateur Zoë Robinson to take over the space that housed her former Italian restaurant I Fratellini. It was the sign both men needed to recognize that the timing was right to fina y rin to ife the restaurant they had always envisioned.

“In this business, timing is the most important thing — that and

the people who are in the room,” McGuire says. “If I conducted a nationwide search of the person I wanted to get for this, it would be Cary. He is the best culinary instructor in St. Louis, the best chef in St. Louis. We just agree fundamentally about how things should be. And we like each other.”

Though McGuire describes Wright’s Tavern as a neighborhood steakhouse, he is emphatic when he says that he and McDowell are less hung up on a concept and more focused on creating a place that embodies what they

want to experience when they go out to eat. A restaurant is a feeling, McGuire insists, and he and McDowell hope to create a special kind of alchemy based on the fundamentals: outstanding, well-executed classics, consistency, and the kind of hospitality and overall experience that just makes people happy.

“Good is good,” McGuire says. “You don’t need to be told why. People get so caught up in the provenance of things, but you don’t need to be told why a tomato is good. You just experience it, and you know.”

To that end, McDowell and McGuire have built Wright’s Tavern to be a celebration of iconic dishes. A perfectly executed caesar salad. A crab cake comprised of actual crab meat, not breading and shellfish shreds. a ess y seared ribeye. As McDowell explains, he sees it as his duty, at this point in his career, to nail the ideal forms of these dishes and remind people why they are quintessential.

“Matt and I have always shared the opinion that good is good, and there is a certain genuineness about certain things,” McDowell says. “Often, the things that are the

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Wright’s Tavern serves perfect classics such as shrimp scampi. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF Matt McGuire and Cary McDowell are the dream team behind Wright’s Tavern. | CHERYL BAEHR
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WRIGHT’S TAVERN

most complicated things to do are often thought of as the most easy thing. It’s challenging to make a really good caesar salad every time. You have to know your part and play it. I get excited about a perfectly seared ribeye steak and pomme purée or really good crème brûlée. This might sound grandiose, but I find eauty in urity. fee an oligation to put forth the correct iteration of things.”

To that end, the menu at Wright’s Tavern hits all the notes you’d expect from an ideal steakhouse. Oysters on the half shell, crab

Merry Dick-mas

Naughty Bits’ new wa es turns Christmas into XXXmas

Naughty Bits cofounder Corey James isn’t sure if his prospective holiday waffle name goes too far.

“I’m thinking about calling one Rudolph the Deep-Throat Reindeer,” James says with a laugh. “I don’t know if I’m actually going to use that. But we really want to lean into what this stands for, and it’s been fun to see how everyone else has leaned into it, too.”

Such an over-the-top crass name might be a bridge too far for any other waffle company, but for James and his partner in business and in life, Austin Blankenship, it’s totally on brand. Since (tee hee) popping up at their downtown dessert spot Bella’s Frozen Yogurt

cakes, shrimp scampi or cocktail and a wedge salad are examples of assi starters hi e a fi et rieye, strip and steak frites comprise the bulk of the entree section. As McDowell and McGuire both emphasize, these may be dishes that seem simple, but they require a ess te hni ue and un o romising sourcing because there is nowhere to hide. They come at a traditional steakhouse price point; McGuire admits that Wright’s Tavern is not cheap (steaks range between $39.95 and $74.95), though, atypically for a la carte steakhouses, all entrees at Wright’s Tavern come with side dishes.

Like I Fratellini, Wright’s Tavern is small and shotgun style, though

(1021 Washington Avenue) this summer, the pair have developed quite the following for their penis- and vagina-shaped waffle company, Naughty Bits. To toast their success, Blankenship and James are hosting a Dickens Christmas Carol pop-up event on Friday, December 30, at Bella’s, which will feature an entire line of holiday-themed sexy waffles, handdipped for your pleasure.

“We’ll be doing holiday-themed Naughty Bits, and Bella’s will do holidaythemed cocktails as well,” James says. “It should be such a fun time and a way to party after Christmas. We figure you were nice for Christmas, so now it’s time to get on the naughty list.”

Blankenship and James founded Naughty Bits this past August after a friend returned from Europe and shared with them her joy at finding edible penis- and vagina-shaped delights on her trip. The pair were intrigued, and after researching the idea found out that, while they were wildly popular in other parts of the world, sexy waffles had yet to pop off in the United States. Using Bella’s as a launch pad, the two held their first Naughty Bits event on August 27 and have appeared at other celebrations around town throughout the latter

the black-and-white color scheme has been replaced by deep-green (almost black) painted brick and a light-wood-colored ceiling. White tablecloths, amber glass candles and brass chandeliers adorn the space, and photographs depicting scenes from McDowell’s and McGuire’s lives hang on the walls. A sparkling, three-seat bar is tucked in the back of the room, and the open kitchen, with slightly higher ceilings than the dining room, gives the illusion of a grander space than the footprint suggests.

The overall feel — from the menu to the atmosphere to the service — is one that is both elegant and comfortable, stylish and welcoming. As McGuire explains,

this is not only what he looks for in a restaurant, it’s what drives him to create.

“For me, everything I do is born out of enthusiasm,” McGuire says. “It’s why I say yes or no to anything. I am never going to be the audience member, but if I think of things as if I am audience, and if I am not pleased with the place, why do it? If you are trying to proselytize about what you think someone else likes, you’ll miss. You have to make sure you do things that are true to you. Then if it does’t work out, at least you are not wearing a hat you don’t want to be wearing. It has to be a place where you want to go, where you want to be the audience member.” n

part of the year and are even looking into procuring a food truck so that they can make the Naughty Bits spectacle a regular part of the area’s food scene.

As is typical of the Naughty Bits popup experiences, waffles will be handdipped in front of guests, a scene James describes as a flirty, wild experience.

“We put on quite a show,” James says.

At the Dickens Christmas extravaganza, merry-makers will be entertained by a special guest dipper, drag performer and

“the Sweetheart of St. Louis” Tabbi Katt, who will also serve as the event’s guest host. James promises a good time and even notes that the festivities are clothing optional.

“Clothing donation optional,” he emphasizes. “We’re doing a clothing drive. It’s optional, but we are encouraging guests to bring gently used items for us to donate. Just show up, bring some clothes, have a cocktail, enjoy some naughty bits and have a good time.” n

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[FOOD NEWS]
Cary McDowell is committed to serving quintessential versions of classics. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF e Wright’s Tavern crab cake features generous hunks of crab meat. | SPENCER PERNIKOFF Naughty bits wishes you a Mery XXXmas. | COURTESY NAUGHTY BITS STL
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Mean Girls

I went to Karen’s Diner, and all I got was roasted mercilessly

When first si ned on to he k out aren s iner had no ue that d e a ed u on to ut y anto i e ski s to the test et a one on a sta e for the a useent of the entire restaurant. et there as ha f ay throu h y ti e at the ne o u o eratin out of the o d e ons ui din ein oaded y an e etiona y rude red haired o an to ay harades in front of an asse ed ro d. he ressure as on another un ittin usto er ho as ser in as y ri a in the i ro tu o etition had ust ord ess y on eyed that he as enny ise the o n the i ad fro te hen in s It in a re arka y ra id fashion. f as oin to stay in the a e d need to si ent y on in e this ro d that as ton ohn in a hurry.

nd re e er no ta kin otherfu ker ” the unkind oan ith the i ro hone arned. udden y it as o ti e. took a ste for ard and u ed out an in isi e en h u on hi h sat y knees and aist ent a k ard y. ifted the id off of the keys of the i a inary rand iano that sat efore e and ean ti k in the i ories ith usto s ayin y head a k and forth in dra ati fashion. he i ediate res onse ot a hat the fu k?” fro the o an ho as akin e do a of this did not ins ire onfiden e.

ut then so eone in the ro d thre e a ife ine. ayin iano ” she he fu y shouted. es indeed. e t re o ed y asses fro y fa e and ut the a k on ho din y hands on the outside of the in an atte t to o uni ate that they ere ar er than they a tua y are. ay har es ” another o an offered. n e e ent uess ut not the ans er as ookin for. ut of o es otioned ith y hand that she as in the ri ht a ark and that she shou d ontinue. erifu y a an near y at ast i ked u hat as uttin do n and a ed out the orre t ans er and

this harade as fina y o er. ad y thou h this as ust round one. akin atters orse it as a round d ost the s eed ith hi h y o etition had ana ed to et ennyise the o n” of a thin s out of the ro d as nothin short of re arka e. hat he as a e to ord ess y o uni ate that he as on e o s nei h or uidard e en ore ui k y in round t o as enou h to ake e think as ein hust ed y a ro. ut hen ot y se ond ro t fe t e o dened. kne ust hat to do. t the start of y turn raised y ri ht hand to y outh and retended as thou h as ho in on so ethin hi h then ta ed ith y rin fin er as if as ashin a i ar. u s unny ” a o an shouted a a ordin to y an. riu hant y ointed to the i a inary o e t in y hand. arrot ” se era eo e in the ro d ye ed. nd ith that d otten a ross hat d intended far faster than e en e e ted. a e the rude o an a o ky ook. he a e e a e i dered one.

ou isheard e ” she said her oi e dri in ith ondes ension. t definite y asn t arrot it as aren. aren ike aren the the e aren? aren. et the fu k off y sta e.” n retros e t definite y shou d ha e ut that to ether. ut in fairness to yse f had not o e to this restaurant ith the e etation that d e a ed u on to erfor si y thou ht d e en oyin a ur er and so e fries

hi e ettin ye ed at and insu ted y its staff as is the o era re ise of aren s iner. ri ina y founded ast year in ustra ia the hain has e oded in o u arity ased on its ro ise of atro ious ser i e at the hands of its rude e oyees and it has sin e e anded to ndonesia e ea and and the ith the ney o ened t. ouis o ation ein the first in the nited tates.

o e fair ot that e erien e too. on y arri a as asked if ou d e dinin a one and reied that y date as runnin ate ut ou d e here soon. n a tuaity that ate date” as a o ea ue RFT’s food riti hery aehr. hat sounds ike a ie ” the hostess re ied. f you ot stood u you an ust te us.”

fter ein ed to y ta e as sur rised to see that y youn er sister as one of the atrons a ready at the restaurant. he a e o er and said hi then a ed do n her aitress the sa e red haired o an in iden-

ta y ho ou d ater for e e into a a e of harades.

ey did you kno e re reated?” y sister asked. on t e ook a ike?”

our arents ade so e u y kids ” as the re y.

oon y o n aitress arri ed. here s your friend at?” she in uired stern y as she thre a enu on the ta e in front of e. he needs to hurry u .”

hey re not oin to sho u ” offered the o an ho d ust a ed y sister and u y. ou dn t ant to either.”

s ent a fe o ents hattin ith y sister and soon y aitress returned to take y order e hi itin a of the har that s ade aren s iner an internationa heno enon.

ou etter kno hat the fu k you anna drink ” she said. hy you o er here runnin your outh? y ti e is re ious.” fter i ked a drink off the enu she arned that the de ision as a fina one. ou don t ike it e re not onna han e shit. hat s hat you onna drink. o fi ure out hat a eti er you ant.” hasti y ordered so e fries ith hi h to shie d yse f fro the arra e of insu ts.

ean hi e a an at a ta e a ross the restaurant ade the istake of infor in staff that he as e an. n e oyee ho din a e a hone oud y announ ed the an s dietary restri tions to the entire restaurant hereu on the red haired aitress ra ed a i ro hone and a ed for e ery-

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Continued on pg 33
e sta at Karen’s Diner has a unique idea of what customer service should look like. | DANIEL HILL
“Everybody please raise your middle fingers to the vegan over here on three and say, ‘Fuck you, vegan,’” she said.
32 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com

one’s attention.

“Everybody please raise your idd e fin ers to the e an o er here on three and say u k you e an ” she said after hi h the roo fu of diners o ied. at so e fu kin eat you ie e of shit ” she then added.

se here a an as e e ratin a irthday. taffers en oura ed e eryone in the restaurant to sin hi a irthday son fair y si i ar to the usto ary one on y ith a ot ore instan es of the hrase fu k off” than usua . idd e finers ere a ain dis ayed i era y y e eryone on staff ear y a key art of the aren s e erien e. hort y after the a e of harades ost a e and ent.

hi e as onsta e y dinin o anion hery fina y arri ed and as round y sha ed and erated on her ay to our ta e. fter as sent a kin fro the o etition e ea h ordered a ur er hen they a e out the erson ho rou ht the to us de anded that i e her one of the heese urds e d otten on the side as ay ent.” t one oint the red haired oan a ked o er to our ta e and i ked u y hone hi h she

used to shoot a se fie of herse f i in the ird.

hery and ere distra ted y the on oin s e ta e and s ent so e ti e dis ussin hat e d itnessed here so far. nfortunate y this aused us to ne e t our food u h to our aitress s ha rin.

hat s ron ith it?” she deanded. hy you not eatin it?”

urious as to hat ou d haen tried to send ine a k sayin that it as not any ood.

ah e ain t doin that shit ” she re ied. ou ordered it you re eatin it. nd you re not ettin shit off the i .” air enou h.

ur e erien e at aren s iner ra ed u short y after hen our aitress thre a air of to o o es and a i at our ta e none of hi h e d asked for. urry u ” ere her artin ords.

ean hi e the red haired oan had rounded u a fresh set of i ti s and for ed the to the sta e. did not sti k around on enou h to see ho they fared ut ho efu y they had ore su ess than did.

s for e if do end u a k at this restaurant and find yse f a ed u on to anto i e a aren ” on t ake the sa e istake. n fa t ha e ust the air of idd e fin ers ne essary to rin ho e the o d. n

Mex-travaganza

Chaifetz Arena to host inaugural Taco & Margarita Festival

On Saturday, March 25, 2023, Chaifetz Arena won’t be full for basketball or a concert. It will be full for something even better: tacos and

margaritas.

That’s right — on that date, St. Louis will host the inaugural Taco & Margarita Festival, Chaifetz Arena announced last week.

The event, which begins at noon, will not only offer tacos and margaritas but a plethora of other activities. Visitors will be able to enjoy live DJs and professional wrestling. Local vendors will also be present selling items.

And for those who really think they love tacos — the festival will host a tacoeating contest, along with a hot-chileeating contest.

Tickets cost $10 in advance and $20 on the day itself. You can add on a VIP package for $49. n

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Continued from pg 31 [FOOD NEWS]
KAREN’S DINER
ere will be lots of tacos in St. Louis on Saturday, March 25. | HAILEY BOLLINGER
34 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com

Quiet as a Mouse

Sinse’s Rainbow Belts strain underwhelms with a disappointing lack of flavor

Along time ago, I had a friend who started growing cannabis.

They went all-in on the space, the equipment and genetics. After visiting throughout the grow cycle, it was all very exciting to see and smell some fantastic plants. I thought we’d be on easy street once harvest time rolled around. But after the plants were cut down and dried, the weed was not loud at all. It was quieter than a library.

All the smells I experienced when helping trim were nowhere to be found. It smoked like a Marlboro Ultra Light. All the wind in my friend’s sails disappeared. It was akin to painting a masterpiece, only to have the paint disappear while it dries. Experiencing that heartbreak in the past doesn’t prevent heartbreak in the future. But you gotta put yourself out there still to experience that tasty smoke again.

One strain that has been catching my eye within the weed community lately has been Rainbow Belts. A cross between Moonbow and Zkittlez originally bred by Archive Seed Bank, Rainbow Belts has seemingly been a low-key favorite for cannabis connoisseurs since it was created due to its “Z terp” qualities. This seemed like a slam dunk for terps, which I’m here for all day every day.

I procured an eighth of Sinse’s Rainbow Belts at the Ellisville Swade location. This is the furthest west I’ve been to get to a dispensary, as most are inside of the inner belt. On my drive I passed multiple police cars — Ellisville doesn’t play. After being ushered into the patient area after check-

ing in, I was briefed on some options, but I knew what I came out to the county to get. I paid $30.20 after tax for the eighth due to a sa e and the o er tested at . percent THC.

When I ripped the mylar bag open, I got three large nuggets of the Belts, several stems and no smells whatsoever coming out of the a . he o er and oran e hairs hugged to the stems tightly. My initial thought was that it seemed very underwhelming, and after s okin the first oint it turns out that first i ression was an accurate assessment. I had a mild head high and a mediumplus body high, but there were no vibrant terpenes dancing across my tongue when I inhaled.

REEFERFRONT TIMES

he se ond s oke as ust as for etta e as the first session. he effe t as si i ar to the first experience; once again, the terpenes were nowhere to be found. Normally I’m one to get excited about being paid to smoke and write about weed, but there was zero motivation to keep smoking this stuff after the se ond oint. s Cypress Hill once said, “It’s a fun o ut it s sti a o .”

I tried to make the Rainbow Belts more palatable. I attempted to re i e the nu s in a ar ith a small humidity pack. I was using great rolling papers (Team Element, baby), and I even picked up the hot ne oint ro in a essory: the Rip Tip. I did everything in my power possible to make this

weed taste good, meeting Sinse halfway like I was dropping acid at a Phish concert.

I rolled up all the remaining ain o e ts into a ar e oint and prepared to light it like a Viking funeral pyre. As I begrudgin y s oked do n the a or ess oint after a reat dinner ith friends, I wished to the weed deities that the next batch would be better and more dialed in. Sinse, please turn the volume up on the Rainbow Belts so it’s loud AF. Missouri’s medical patients and the soon-to-be recreational market deserve better. n

St. Louis, U. City Consider Weed Tax

St. Louis city and at least five municipalities in St. Louis County are considering additional sales taxes on recreational marijuana sales.

Missouri’s constitutional amendment for recreational weed allows municipalities to levy a 3 percent retail tax on recreational marijuana purchases in addition to a 6 percent state tax. So far, all the Missouri cities proposing such a tax are leaning toward the 3 percent maximum.

Voters will give the final OK to any city’s proposal in the Tueday, April 4, general municipal election.

In St. Louis, a board bill sponsored by Third Ward Alderman Brandon Bosley calls for revenue from the tax to go toward adressing “historic inequities.” Ac-

cording to the bill’s text, this may or may not include funding access to education, workforce opportunities and youth engagement.

In a phone call Friday, Bosley tells RFT the tax could also help fund curfew centers. He recently introduced a bill to impose a curfew for the city’s youth. Additionally, he says the tax could in part help fund reparations. What exactly the marijuana tax would ultimately be used for, though, is still very much up in the air.

“There’s a plethora of ideas that are being thrown around,” Bosley says.

In any case, revenue generated from the tax would go to the city’s general fund. Bosley said the tax could generate approximately $300,000 a year, an estimate he based off of current marijuana sales in St. Louis.

Other cities considering a recreational marijuana tax include University City, O’Fallon, Chesterfield, Olivette and Maryland Heights. Some are scheduled to hold first readings of bills for the tax during meetings this week.

Plans are still up in the air for others, including Chesterfield and Maryland Heights, whose city clerks tell RFT that legislation is still being drafted.

Some municipalities considering a recreational-marijuana tax house no dispensaries, including Olivette, where residents strongly protested a special-use permit for a medical-marijuana cultivation facility earlier this year. How much a tax on recreational marijuana could generate for these cities is unclear.

Regardless of whether municipalities pass an additional marijuana tax, marijuana will still be taxed less for medical users. Medicinal marijuana kept its 4 percent tax after Missouri voters passed recreational marijuana. n

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 35 [STRAIN REVIEW]
Rainbow Belts is disappointingly underwhelming. | TOMMY CHIMS
I did everything in my power possible to make this weed taste good, meeting Sinse halfway like I was dropping acid at a Phish concert.
A bill sponsored by Alderman Brandon Bosley calls for revenue from the tax to go toward addressing “historic inequities.”
35

Service and Sacrifice

The first thin the o diers eoria i itary useu s atest e hi it asks ie ers to do is hoose et een t o tra ks t ar” or t o e.”

t i ht see ike an odd setu for an e hi ition ith a oa to ortray a ho isti history of the ietna ar. ut a ordin to ika enso i itary and firear s urator for the issouri istori a o iety and hief urator of Vietnam: At War and At Home the e hi ition ou dn t e oete ithout it.

e intentiona y hose this ethod of te in the story hi h is a rather o i ated story durin a ery tu u tuous ti e eause it a o ed us to e hasi e the distan e et een the t o eerien es oth eo ra hi a y ut a so sy ho o i a and e otiona y ” enso says.

Vietnam: At War and At Home o ened to the u i this ast eterans ay at the Soldiers Memorial Military Museum (1315 Chestnut Street, 314-818-6780, mohistory.org/memorial) hi h is o ned and o erated y the issouri istori a o iety. s the end of the ietna ar nears its th anni ersary the e hi ition seeks to o e orate those ho i ed throu h and fou ht in the on i t and edu ate those ho inherited its after ife.

tried to find a ay that e ou d rea y te a fu story that e ou d e oth a useu and a e oria that e ou d honor that sa rifi e and ser i e of so any ut that e ou d sort of ha en e our o unity a itt e it to fu y understand hat haened ” enso says.

he t o a eries ea h o rise

si se tions that ead ie ers on a hrono o i a ourney throu h the ar fro the years eadin u to the on i t to its e a y at ho e and a road. n or ani in the e hi ition this ay enso seeks to a ture the dis arity et een t o e erien es ithin the sa e on i t.

he fo ks that ere ser in in outheast sia had a oete y different e erien e of kno in hat it as ike there than the fo ks did a k ho e ” enso says. hey a so didn t fuy understand a the transitions that ere ha enin a k ho e in eri a and in t. ouis and i e ersa.”

o this end the se tions ithin ea h a ery orres ond to one another ui din the or es” ersus u yin the or es ” he att es and the tion” ersus he e s and the ea tion ” and so on.

he e hi ition features near y artifa ts fro the ar eaned fro the oans and donations of eterans o ern ent reser es and the issouri istori a o iety s o n o e tion. t e oys a stunnin array of edia to a oodate different ty es of earners in udin three di ensiona to o ra hi a s ora histories and t o ei ht inute do u en-

taries.

he e hi ition a so offers isitors yriad o ortunities to intera t ith the ateria su h as ia e i ture ooks and a di ita uke o that ets ie ers e ore usi ins ired y the ar and earn ore a out s e ifi son s of their hoosin . nother di ita intera ti e in ites isitors to enter their irthday to see if they ou d ha e een drafted fo o ed y a ote on ho they ou d ha e res onded.

hi e the e hi ition enera y takes a road a roa h to the dua narrati es that unfo ded in outheast sia and in the nited tates u h of it is tin ed ith history s e ifi to t. ouis.

or e a e any of the heets unifor s ea ons and other artifa ts dis ayed in t ar” e on ed to nati e t. ouisans hi e one dis ay in t o e” de onstrates the ro e nheuser us h ayed in su yin troo s ith i ions of ans of eer and other ro isions.

e tried to take these i er nationa narrati es and rin the do n to a o a fo us hether it s t. ouisans ho had a ro e in these stories or ontri utions that t. ouis ade or ho t. ouis e erien ed a of this i itary history ” enso says.

en if you don t kno u h or are u h a out ar you o e here and you re onna find a ot of ays that you an earn a itt e it a out history or earn a out your o unity.”

o rote t the artifa ts and i e isitors the o ortunity to see the fu ran e of the useu s o etion the o e ts on dis ay i rotate se era ti es o er the ourse of the e hi ition s onth run. enso says the re e tion of the e hi it has een o er he iny ositi e. or those ho kno itt e a out the ar the e hi it is in redi y en a in and infor ati e. or the any eterans ho ha e nu ered a on its isitors so far ho e er the rea tion has often een far ore e otiona . e had one eteran te us that he rea y ooks for ard to o in here and rin in his randson e ause he ants hi to o e here to earn a out his ar ” enso says. hat s rea y o erfu for us to reate those kinds of oortunities for eo e in the ounity to o e and en a e ith their o n history.” n

You can check out ietna t ar and t o e Wednesday through Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., now through Monday, May 27, 2024. The exhibit is free to the public.

36 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
[PRESERVING HISTORY]
A Soldiers Memorial exhibit explores the dual narratives of America’s most controversial war
36
CULTURE
Mikall Venso, military and firearms curator for the Missouri Historical Society, leads a tour. | COURTESY MISSOURI HISTORICAL SOCIETY

Family Stories

With Legacy Interviews, podcaster Vince Crowe preserves families’ life stories on video

It a e an sur risin y ith an inter ie an e ro e ondu ted as a oof ith a si year o d. he for er dire tor of iennia en a e ent for onsanto ro e has ui t a usiness as a u i re ations onsu tant and u i s eaker fo used on ari u tura to i s and a art of sein his rand is the Vance Crowe Podcast hi h he re orded fro the ase ent of his ho e in adue. istener had o e y for a tour his si year o d son in to and ro e sho ed the the studio. ust for fun he inter ie ed the kid and then sent the dad an audio fi e a fe days ater. e didn t think anythin of it unti ater hen he heard fro the istener. ayin a arty a e the an as asked hat he d take if he ou d sa e on y one thin fro a fire. kne instant y it as the inter ie you did ith y son ” the istener to d ro e. hat as so ethin ou d neer et a k.” ro there the idea for a usiness as orn. hat if ro e and his usiness artner en nderson ou d offer to re ord ideo inter ie s for ayin ients? hat if instead of si year o ds ro e ut his od ast honed inter iein ski s to ork dra in out rand others and randfathers and others and fathers reatin a astin artifa t for their fa i ies?

hat as the idea ehind ea y nter ie s and stri t y y ord of outh it s ro n fro its o e er aun h into a thri in usiness. ro e says he s ondu ted inter ie s for the ser i e ea h takes se era hours and is then i ht y edited efore it s shared ith the ients

and their fa i ies. o e eo e dra n y ro e s od ast ake tri s to t. ouis s e ifi a y to use the ser i e. ro e has sin e o ed the usiness out of his ase ent and into a rofessiona studio in i h ond ei hts the etter to hand e a the eo e antin to te their stories.

tories ro e says are the key to the enter rise. e di ides ea h inter ie into road ate ories hi dhood areer arria e arentin and then the uestion of e a y. e ikes to ask uestions that et at the heart of ife e erien e. hat is the ost di u t esson to earn that as the ost a ua e to kno ?”

fter years of od astin the inter ie in art o es easi y to hi as a ays ood at ha -

in on ersations ith eo e ” he says. e finds eo e usua y ha e so ethin they ant to share and he s ood at dra in the out to say it. here s a ot you et to say in this roo ” he says esturin around the o forta e studio that eo e ant to say ut rarey ha e the onte t.” nter ie s are offered as either a ha f day for or a on ier e session hi h in udes inter ie s ith ore than one erson often a ou e inter ie ed se arate y and then ater to ether o er the ourse of a day for . t the end ost eo e ant their inter ie s osted to the oany s ri ate ou u e hanne here they an then share the ink ith fa i y and friends. ut ro e is a so indfu that ouu e ay not e around fore er so inter ie ees a so et a o y on an ui t to ast years. o e eo e an to ea e the inter ie to e at hed after they re one ut ro e en ouraes the to instead share it efore it s too ate. e says the ost ratifyin art of the o is the etters he ets fro fa i y e ers after they e at hed the inter ie . he etters e et fro eo e ... didn t kno anythin a out y dad didn t kno he fe t this ay ” he says. t s a rea y rofound thin to not ait unti your arents are one to ha e this eerien e and to kee the onersation oin .” n

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 37 NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH DEADMAU5 PLUS MORGIN MADISON AND NOTAKER SAT, DEC 31 ONEUS TUES, JAN 24 BOYZ II MEN Sat, Jan 21 89.1 KCLC PRESENTS ANGEL OLSEN SPECIAL GUEST ERIN RAE SAT, JAN 28 REMAIN IN LIGHT TOUR JERRY HARRISON & ADRIAN BELEW WED, FEB 22 CHRIS BOTTI Sat, Mar 4 ANTIFRACTAL TOUR SUBTRONICS SPECIAL GUESTS VIRTUAL RIOT, KOMPANY, UBUR THURS, MAR 9 LOS TIGRES DEL NORTE FRI, FEB 24 ANTHRAX & BLACK LABEL SOCIETY SPECIAL GUEST EXODUS WED, feb 8 [MEMORIES]
Vance Crowe interviews a couple. | COURTESY LEGACY INTERVIEWS
Vance Crowe likes to ask questions that get at the heart of life experience. “What is the most difficult lesson to learn that was the most valuable to know?”

MUSIC

Monster Jam

More than two decades in, the El Monstero experience is bigger and better than ever

It’s the holiday season in St. Louis hi h eans a onth fi ed ith usi a rasstra a an as hi i a oo as and anukkah u a a oos. ut no year end tradition quite compares to El Monstero’s December residency at the a eant. su er rou of veteran St. Louis musicians, the band has been staging its popular Pink Floyd tribute concerts since 1999. Now in its 23rd year, the El Monstero experience is bigger than ever — and for thousands of devotees, it’s an essential winter

ritua on e ar ou e ard.

El Monstero has, to be sure, pulled off a remarkable feat: It’s not often that a local cover band sells out seven consecutive nights in a 2,000-seat venue, let alone year after year.

Founding bassist Kevin Gagnepain tells the RFT that, when the project started, he could not have imagined the behemoth it would become. “We thought it might be just a one-night thing and that ou d e it ” a ne ain says. fter all, the act sprang from a side project of Stir, the alt-rock trio of Gagneain sin er uitarist ndy h idt and dru er rad ooker a homegrown favorite that saw some major-label success in the ’90s.

To stay busy between tours, Stir, joined by leather-larynxed singer Mark Thomas Quinn, wore ornate Mardi Gras masks onstage in an all-covers band cheekily billed as onstero os asked eners under the ry y hony reise that tir s re ord a e a ito

prohibited the band from performin as tir” un ess on an o ia tour . he in o nito outfit s e iaized in rock classics, including the entirety of side two of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, a well-received segment that eventually expanded into a full night of Pink Floyd covers at Mississippi Nights. That original show is dwarfed by the El Monstero spectacle of today. The band has grown to o ia e ers a on side dozens of actors, aerialists, pole dancers and other musical guests, surrounded by a technical team that executes the show’s elaborate sound-and-video dazzle and effe ts hea y rodu tion. eyond the inter run the and no fi s o y ood asino hitheatre each summer, complete with massive pyrotechnics and a strategically timed helicopter that buzzes the crowd mid-show.

nd hat of that stran e na e? Gagnepain admits that “El Monstero” they dro ed the rest of the

name years ago) is an odd name for the act since the moniker has nothing to do with Pink Floyd.

o e er e sort of re erse engineered the connection to a yri fro ink oyd s a e a i ar ” a ne ain says. hat ine — ‘It could be a monster if we pull to ether as a tea rea y fits the spirit of the band and our fans.”

Theresa Solsten is one such fan. e ster ro es hairstyist, Solsten has seen El Monstero over 50 times, attending multiple shows each holiday run dating back to 2002. Even though Solsten lives locally, she often stays at the oonrise ote ne t door to the Pageant, on nights before El Monstero shows to enhance the experience and to make it easier to line u ear y. ordin to o sten her fandom of El Monstero has even eclipsed that of Pink Floyd.

“For me, the holidays are unthinkable without it,” she says. “I am not exaggerating when I say that El Monstero shows are sacred

38 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
El Monstero plays the Pageant in 2017. | KENNY BAHR
38

to me.”

When asked to explain the project’s precipitous popularity, Gagnepain says, “It’s been completely organic. It’s really the fans’ show. They keep spreading the word, and the more people that show up, the more production we are able to provide.”

Key lineup additions over the years, including guitar wizard i y ri n in of the i the Incurables), sly-slapping drumer ohn essoni the r e oe Dirt) and piano ace Jake Elking u s ury ark a so he ed boost the band.

“In the beginning, the audience was mostly Stir and Pink Floyd fans,” Gagnepain remembers. hen so e i y ri n fans a e on oard. hen so e r e fans. It’s all these groups intertwined that has made this thing what it is today.”

ri n ho e odies the rototypical ’80s-metal guitar hero and whose goth-pimp cameo on a e a i ar” as a hi h i ht of early El Monstero shows, had recently formed the Led Zeppein tri ute and e e ration ay with Quinn and Pessoni when he was asked to replace the departin h idt. in e then ri n has also formed local tributes to the o in tones treet i htin and o etty the ard roises and a id o ie shes to Stardust), establishing St. Louis as an unparalleled city for tributeband experiences.

“El Monstero can be thanked for that or blamed for that, depending on how you feel about it,” Gagnepain jokes.

onstero s e ers round-

ed out y uitarist ryan reene saxophonist Dave Farver, keyoardist i eiter and a ku o a ists r ine annon andra Williams and Kristin Johnson) pride themselves on meticulous recreations of Pink Floyd’s original recordings, playing comprehensive setlists that appeal to both casual fans and hardcore Floydheads.

“There are the hits that we play e ery year ” ri n says. ut e get weirder with the older stuff. This year we’re playing a song we haven’t done in 10 years and one that we’ve never played before.”

Even when the band unearths a dee oyd o s urity ri n says “I can see 20 or 30 people who know every word of these rare songs. That’s why those guys keep coming back to see us.”

Gagnepain says that a unique El Monstero experience each year is key to keeping things fresh for both the band and the audience, pointing out that this year the band is playing at least one song from each of ink oyd s first a u s an onstero first. a h year a so features a different theme that informs everything from the poster art to the stage design. This year’s theme: the Da Vinci drawing Vitruvian Man, which emphasizes the connections between man and nature and, according to Gagnepain, “parallels the interconnectedness between the band and the fans over the years. It’s been a symbiotic relationship from the beginning.”

It all adds up to a formula that has fans passing on the tradition to a new generation.

“We are now at the point where people whose parents brought them to El Monstero shows when they were kids have grown up and are now bringing their own hi dren ” ri n notes. enVID-19 did not stop the show, despite a couple of years that saw scaled-down versions. “This year, everything is back,” says Gagnepain. “It’s going to be the full El Monstero experience.”

hate er the aria es ri n promises a powerful evening.

“It’s always an event,” he says. “People know that they’re going to be getting something special. The whole package — the music, the visuals, the crowd, the tradition — makes it something that we can’t wait to give to people.” n

riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 39
“ That line [from ‘Have a Cigar’] — ‘It could be a monster if we pull together as a team’ — really fits the spirit of the band and our fans.”

Shake o those winter blues and join us for some frosty brews at the inaugural Winter Beer Festival, happening on Saturday, January 28th.

Meet us at Molly's in Soulard in the heart of downtown to sample dozens of seasonal, limited-edition beers from local and regional breweries. Get cozy with winter-themed cocktails made with top-shelf spirits and experience live music, a mouth-watering restaurant row, a curated vendor marketplace, fire pits, and much more at the first-ever Winter Beer Fest!

40 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
JAN. 28 2023 @ Molly’s in Soulard TICKETS & INFO AT STLWINTERBEERFESTIVAL.COM Here in Saint Louis, we take our beer seriously, and it’s time we celebrate it with a festival for the ages!
riverfronttimes.com DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 RIVERFRONT TIMES 41

OUT EVERY NIGHT

Each week, we bring you our picks for the best concerts of the next seven days! To submit your show for consideration, visit https://bit.ly/3bgnwXZ. All events are subject to change, especially in the age of COVID-19, so do check with the venue for the most up-to-date information before you head out for the night. And, of course, be sure that you are aware of the venues’ COVID-safety requirements, as those vary from place to place, and you don’t want to get stuck outside because you forgot your mask or proof of vaccination. Happy showgoing!

THURSDAY 22

DUELING PIANOS HOLIDAY EDITION: 7 p.m., $16.50. Wildey Theatre, 254 N. Main St., Edwardsville, 618-692-7538.

EL MONSTERO - A TRIBUTE TO PINK FLOYD: 8 p.m.; Dec. 23, 8 p.m.; Dec. 30, 8 p.m., $32.50-$52.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

HUNTER: 3 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

JIM STEVENS & THE VIBE: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JONATHAN KARRANT ALBUM RELEASE: 8 p.m., $15-$30. The Dark Room, 3610 Grandel Square inside Grandel Theatre, St. Louis, 314-776-9550.

LUISA SIMS: 7 p.m., free. Yaqui’s on Cherokee, 2728 Cherokee St, St. Louis, 314-400-7712.

ROCKIN RASCALS: 7 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 8 p.m., $15-$20. Joe’s Cafe, 6014 Kingsbury Ave, St. Louis.

STELLA KATHERINE COLE: 7:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

FRIDAY 23

10 YEARS OF SORE LOSERS: w/ DJ Crucial 8 p.m., $a3. The Golden Record, 2720 Cherokee Street, St. Louis, N/A.

DR. ZHIVEGAS PRINCE TRIBUTE: 8 p.m., $20. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

EL MONSTERO - A TRIBUTE TO PINK FLOYD: Dec. 22, 8 p.m.; 8 p.m.; Dec. 30, 8 p.m., $32.50$52.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

ENDING ORION: w/ Lights Over Arcadia, Armeta, Overstellar 8 p.m., $12. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

HOT KOOLAID: 9:30 p.m., free. Sky Music Lounge, 930 Kehrs Mill Road, Ballwin, 636-527-6909.

JACK FISTER: 6:30 p.m., $10-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

JAKE’S LEG: 8 p.m., $10. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

JASON COOPER & THE COOP DEVILLES: 10 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

JEREMIAH JOHNSON: 10 p.m., $10. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

KILBORN ALLEY BAND: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

KRIS KRINGLE & THE JOLLY JINGLES: w/ Meredith Hopping, Ken Wolfe 8 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

LOLA KRISTINE: 7:30 p.m., $20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

LOVE JONES “THE BAND”: 8:30 p.m., $15-$25. The Dark Room, 3610 Grandel Square inside Grandel Theatre, St. Louis, 314-776-9550.

Stella Katherine Cole

7:30 p.m. ursday, December 22. Blue Strawberry, 364 North Boyle Avenue. $20. 314-256-1745.

Whether you’re staring up at the fluorescent lights of a department store shopping for that last minute gift or you’re just passing through a local coffee shop for a quick latte, there is little escape from the specter of the holiday season this time of the year. Christmas music is mostly to thank for the relentless holiday cheer, especially since some spots start playing those alltoo-familiar songs on a loop only days after Halloween has passed. It’s easy to see why Frank Sinatra’s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” decks the halls every year, but young singers

are also emerging in the music industry to lend a fresh voice to holiday classics. With nearly half a million followers across TikTok, Instagram and the greater social media landscape, Stella Katherine Cole stands out from the pack with a generally gleeful vibe and a sultry, full-bodied vocal approach reminiscent of Judy Garland and Ella Fitzgerald. That Cole jump-started her career by posting short videos of her singing right into the camera is merely a sign of the times, but her ability to draw enthusiasm and passion from audiences is a rare quality possessed by only the most renowned of entertainers. That fact is not lost on Cole, who is quick to preface her videos with comments such as “I’m no Michael Bublé, but…” And her fans are just as fast to respond and say, “Michael is no Stella, either.” The Spring-

field, Illinois native is now based out of New York, where she actively collaborates with Grammy Award-winning producers and continues to grow an already massive following. Her live show “Stella Katherine Cole Has Standards This Holiday Season” offers songs from her Classic Christmas release (which can be found on Spotify) alongside a selection of jazz standards with a subtle contemporary spin.

Same Old Song and Dance: “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is a song with a legacy and history that spans generations. The 1944 classic Meet Me in St. Louis features one of the most popular renditions of the track with singing by legendary actress Judy Garland, who later married director Vincente Minnelli after meeting him on the film’s set.

MARTY ABDULLAH & THE EXPRESSIONS: 8 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

MOLLY LOVETTE: 9:30 p.m., free. The Midwestern,

900 Spruce Street, St. Louis.

OVER HEAD DOG: 7 p.m., free. Wente’s, 18000 hesterfie d ir ort d hesterfie d hesterfie d .

REEL STRANGE FRIENDS: 9 p.m., $10-$15. Central Stage, 3524 Washington Avenue, St. Louis, 314-533-0367.

SAGE: w/ Makeda Kravitz 9 p.m., free. Sophie’s

42 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com
42 [CRITIC’S PICK]
Stella Katherin Cole. | VIA THE ARTIST

Artist Lounge & Cocktail Club, 3224 Locust St se ond oor of . a k t. ouis .

SALTY GINGER & THE SURFERS: 5 p.m.-1:30 a.m., $10, 3143765313, info@theatticmusicbar.com, cli. re/22992-salty-ginger--the-surfers. The Attic Music ar . in shi h ay nd oor t. ouis.

ST. LOUIS HOLIDAY SHOW: 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

SATURDAY 24

GENE JACKSON & POWER PLAY BAND: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THE NEW MISSOURI FOX HUNTERS: 8 p.m., $10$15. The Focal Point, 2720 Sutton Blvd, St. Louis, 314-560-2778.

SHARON BEAR & DOUG FOEHNER: 3 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THE SO & SO’S CHRISTMAS SHOW: 7 p.m., free. Evangeline’s, 512 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-3644.

VIBES AND STUFF: w/ Biko 9 p.m., free. Sophie’s Artist Lounge & Cocktail Club, 3224 Locust St se ond oor of . a k t. ouis .

SUNDAY 25

BB’S CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION WITH MOM’S KITCHEN: 8 p.m., $20. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

MONDAY 26

MONDAY NIGHT REVIEW: 7 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THIRD SIGHT BAND: 8 p.m., $10. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

TUESDAY 27

ALL TOGETHER NOW: BEATLES TRIBUTE: 8 p.m., $12. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

THE AMBASSADORS REUNION SHOW: w/ Skamasala 7 p.m., $15-$18. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

ETHAN JONES: 9 p.m., free. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

NAKED MIKE: 7 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

THE OUTLYRES: 7 p.m., $10. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

ST. LOUIS SOCIAL CLUB: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

WEDNESDAY 28

ANNE BURNELL AND MARK BURNELL: 7 p.m., $15$20. Blue Strawberry Showroom & Lounge, 364 N Boyle Ave, St. Louis, 314-256-1745.

BIG RICH MCDONOUGH & THE RHYTHM RENEGADES: 7 p.m., $15. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222.

THE DEAD BOLTS: w/ Yard Eagle, Cervid Day 8 p.m., $10. The Heavy Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-5226.

JOHN MCVEY BAND: 7 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

MARGARET & FRIENDS: 3 p.m., free. Hammerstone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

ROSS AND AJ AND BUDDIES: 8 p.m., $10. The Gaslight Theater, 360 N. Boyle Avenue, St. Louis.

VOODOO TOM PETTY: 9 p.m., $12. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT JAZZ JAM: 6 p.m., free. The Dark Room, 3610 Grandel Square inside Grandel Theatre, St. Louis, 314-776-9550.

St. Louis Holiday Show w/ Starwolf, Nick Gusman & the Coyotes, Bo and the Locomotive

8 p.m. Friday, December 23. O Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $15. 314-498-6989.

In an era when many folks are perpetually feeling (or recovering from) burnout, a night of chill music with friends and family can be the key to making that daily grind a little bit more bearable. For many, the holiday season is the only time of year that affords an actual break from the hustle and bustle, so what better way to make the transition from 2022 to 2023 than with an evening of homegrown and hard-working bands? Starwolf leads an all-local lineup with re-

lentlessly catchy bops that incorporate upbeat riffs and silky smooth singing over drums that cooly go with the flow. While melody is at the forefront of every Starwolf song, a sense of funk can be heard throughout the band’s polished concoction of electro pop and indie rock. The trio’s latest EP, 2020’s Astro Lobo, offers seven tracks crafted with a clear and articulate approach to audio production — the title track stands out with a vaporwave aesthetic punctuated by the addition of saxophone, flute and even more synthesizers. Coming off the heels of headlining the Indie Rock Ice Cream Social this past summer, Starwolf ends the year on a high note surrounded by friends and like-minded bands Nick Gusman & the Coyotes and Bo & the Locomotive. If you’re not yet a

p.m., $10. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

member of this extended musical family, adoption only costs about $15 — the low, low price of admission.

Underrated and Over It: After a relatively quiet year otherwise, Bo & the Locomotive’s recent single “How Did You Get My Name?” went viral on TikTok in late October in the goofiest way. Bo posted the song alongside the explanation, “I told an AI program to listen to 10,000 hours of indie rock from 2011 to now and create a song,” and roughly two months later the short clip sits at nearly 900,000 views and counting. A few folks actually took the joke seriously, leading to arguments in the comments section below the video, but fans of the band already know how genuine Bo & the Locomotive’s brand of indie rock can be.

stone’s, 2028 S. 9th St., St. Louis, 314-773-5565.

THIS JUST IN

10 YEARS OF SORE LOSERS: W/ DJ Crucial, Fri., Dec. 23, 8 p.m., $3. The Golden Record, 2720 Cherokee Street, St. Louis, N/A.

ADAM SANDLER: Fri., Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m., $36.50$166.50. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

ALL ROOSTERED UP: Sat., Dec. 31, noon, free.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

ALLIGATOR WINE: Fri., Dec. 30, 10 p.m., $10.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

DAVID CROSS: Wed., April 5, 8 p.m., $40.50. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

DREW LANCE: Fri., Dec. 30, 4:30 p.m., free.

Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

EMO NITE: Sat., Feb. 4, 10 p.m., $17. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

AN EVENING WITH EIGHTY-ONE: Fri., Dec. 30, 8:30

GARZA: Fri., March 3, 8 p.m., $25. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

GRAYSCALE: Sun., March 26, 7:30 p.m., $22. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

THE HAMILTON BAND: Thu., Dec. 29, 9 p.m., $8. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

THE IMPRACTICAL JOKERS: Sat., July 29, 8 p.m., $49.50-$150. Stifel Theatre, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-499-7600.

THE INTERRUPTERS: W/ Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls, Sat., May 20, 7 p.m., $40. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE LEMON TWIGS: Sat., March 11, 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989.

THE MOTET: W/ Moon Hooch, Thu., March 16, 8 p.m., $27.50. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

NAKED MIKE: Tue., Dec. 27, 7 p.m., free. Hammer-

NEW EDITION: W/ Keith Sweat, Guy, Sat., April 15, 7:30 p.m., $59.50-$129.50. Enterprise Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH FUNKY BUTT BRASS BAND: Sat., Dec. 31, 10 p.m., $20. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

NICK CANNON’S NEXT SUPERSTAR TOUR 2023: Sat., March 25, 6:30 p.m., $40.50-$60.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

OUR SONG, OUR STORY: Sat., Feb. 4, 8 p.m., $36$46. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900.

PICKIN BUDS ELECTRIC: Fri., Jan. 6, 10 p.m., $10. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG: Thu., March 23, 7:15 p.m., $27.50. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

THE ROARING TWENTIES: A NEW YEAR’S PARTY: Sat., Dec. 31, 6:30 p.m., $30. 9 Mile Garden, 9375 Gravois Road, Affton, 314-390-2806.

SHWAYZE: Thu., March 16, 8 p.m., $18. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444.

RIVERFRONT TIMES 43
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—Joseph Hess
Starwolf. | VIA ARTIST BANDCAMP
[CRITIC’S PICK]
44 RIVERFRONT TIMES DECEMBER 21-27, 2022 riverfronttimes.com

SAVAGE LOVE

Getting It

Hey Dan: When I first got engaged to my wife, I tried to ease into a conversation about cuckolding, but it went poorly. I tried to broach the subject by telling her monogamy wasn’t a requirement for me, and she got upset. She thought I wanted to have sex with other women. I do not. I reassured her of that fact and dropped the subject, but she still doesn’t believe me. Whenever she’s feeling insecure, she brings upthatconversation from five years ago. I don’t know you at all, and this is anonymous, so I have no reason to lie: I do not want to have sex with women other than my wife. I want her to have sex with other men. I want to be her cuckold. I want her to cheat on me. I have seen some married men online who are living the life I dream about (if the stuff they post about being cuckolds is true). I get depressed knowing some men have what I want. How did they get it? How do I get it? Do I risk raising the subject of monogamy again?

Difficulties Renegotiating Expectations Around Monogamy

I got on Twitter — perhaps for the last time — to track down one of the guys you mentioned, DREAM, i.e., one of the guys living the life you dream about and posting the proof all over his social media accounts. His handle on Twitter is @CyclicCycle; his wife’s handle is @Miss_On_ Top. He managed to get what you want. So how did he get it? And how can you?

“The short answer: With a lot of communication, literature, podcasts and patience,” said Cycle.

Cycle was never a jealous person. If anything, he was the opposite of jealous. “Even before cuckolding was integrated into my mental lexicon,” Cycle said, “things like other guys hitting on my girlfriend or buying her drinks were huge turn-ons for me.”

Eventually Cycle met the woman who would become his wife, and while they enjoyed a varied and pretty kinky sex life, cuckolding wasn’t always a part of it. But when Cycle decided to broach the subject, DREAM, he was honest and direct — in other words, DREAM, he didn’t make the mistake you did. He didn’t speak about nonmonogamy generally, but about his emerging interest in cuckolding specifically. He didn’t ease into the conversation; he jumped in.

“Now, it wasn’t a massive stretch to get to cuckolding from our already kinky lifestyle,” Cycle said. “And while I think

it helped that we approached the topic more from a kink perspective than a nonmonogamous perspective at first, even then we also didn’t go from zero to 60 in an instant.”

Zooming out …

When you look at the social media accounts of guys who are in successful cuckold relationships — when you beat off looking at their accounts — you need to remember that you’re seeing their most recent posts first. Meaning, you’re seeing where they arrived, DREAM, and not where they started.

Zooming in …

You brought up nonmonogamy, not cuckolding, and somehow thought your wife would take you from zero to 60, i.e., you thought your wife would hear you say “nonmonogamy,” and instead of thinking what most people would when their partner broached the subject of nonmonogamy (“He wants to fuck other people!”), DREAM, you hoped your wife would either react so positively you felt you could pivot to your nonmonogamyadjacent kink (“I want you to fuck other people!”) or even that she might leap to the opposite of the likeliest conclusion (“He wants me to fuck other people!?!”). And that is 1. not how it works and 2. not how you get what you want.

“I recall discussing with my wife that we could make up our own rules, and build our own a la carte dynamic,” Cycle said, “which made her feel much more comfortable. It also didn’t hurt that chastity was already part of our kink repertoire. We eventually progressed to a more traditional FLR/Cuckolding dynamic, but we allowed it time to develop organically.” (FLR = “female-led relationship.”)

Cycle’s wife had a lot of reservations about opening up their relationship, DREAM, even though they were only opening things up — per Cycle’s desires — on her side. So they started out slow with a lot of fantasy play and dirty talk before moving on to low-stakes/light-hearted/baby-step “first dates” with other men. Only after they both felt comfortable with the cuckold dynamic in theory did the move on to cuckolding — Cycle’s wife having sex with other men — in actual practice.

And it wasn’t just about what Cycle wanted for himself, DREAM, but about what Cycle wanted for his wife and, more importantly, about what his wife wanted for herself.

“When my wife and I first started dating I had already had significantly more partners,” Cycle said. “So one of the most genuine things I wanted for my wife was for her to have more experiences with other partners. Suffice to say, cuckolding for us is much more about fulfilling her wants, needs and desires.”

Follow Cycle on Twitter @CyclicCycle.

Hey Dan: My partner and I have known each other for 10 years. We fell madly in love, had a rich erotic and sexual relationship and have explored ethical nonmonogamy together. In the past year there was a shift — a lessening of passion that I mistakenly attributed to a lack of desire for me. Then my wife started seeing a therapist, which subsequently brought her Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) to the surface. Previously she was able to keep it hidden; she only occasionally let on that she was unhappy with herself.We had been seeing a therapist together to discuss the ENM aspect of our relationship, but she asked me not to bring her BDD into these sessions. Recently, she decided it was too painful to continue. We have had two private conversations about it, and in the last one she took PIV off the table. Being seen or touched naked is just too painful/shameful for her. In-depth relationship communication is not a strength for us — based partly on the shame, pain, and guilt over this disorder, as well as other cumulative traumas from her past. We love each other very much and I have committed to being a strong and supportive partner.Based on this limited information, Dan, can you offer suggestions to help me manage this challenge? I don’t want to make things worse or create more problems, but I want my lover back.

Lamenting Over Sorrowful Times

You haven’t lost your lover. She’s still in your life, and you’re still having some kind of sex — I mean, I assume you’re still having some kind of sex. You specifically mention your partner taking PIV off the table, LOST, along with … well, along with any other kind of sexual contact that requires her to be seen and/or touched naked, which wouldn’t leave a lot on the table. But I have to assume something was

left on the table, LOST, however meager, otherwise you would’ve said your partner cut off all sexual contact. But you didn’t say that … so I’m going to assume that hasn’t happened … at least not yet.

Your partner clearly has a lot of work to do in therapy, LOST, and you can be supportive while also being clear about your own needs/expectations/hopes for your future together … a future where you hope to reconnect sexually. If your partner isn’t comfortable talking about your reasonable needs/expectations/hopes in any depth — or if she experiences your reasonable needs/expectations/hopes as coercive — taking a break from your relationship while she does the work may be in her own best interests.

Hey Dan: Why — why, why, why — do young cis gay dudes insist on calling their assholes “cunts” and “pussies” these days? I heard you talking about this on your podcast. As a woman with an actual vagina, I find this incredibly offensive and want it to STOP.

Your Assholes NOT Of Pussies’ Equal

Back when I was a young cis gay dude, YANOPE, most young cis gay dudes objected — vociferously — to any suggestion that their assholes resembled, in form or function, women’s pussies. And most didn’t want their assholes associated with female genitalia because they thought lady parts were disgusting and, even worse, they didn’t care who knew it. Now, young gay men are much better about vulvas and vaginas — some even fuck/date/marry other gay and bi men who have vulvas and vaginas — and they don’t care who knows it. So, what I’m basically saying here, YANOPE, is pick your poison: cis gay dudes who think pussy is icky and gross and will angrily reject any comparison/association or cis gay dudes who think pussy is powerful and amazing and will happily make the comparison/association themselves. The choice seems obvious to me.

P.S. It has been my experience — ahem — that younger gay men mostly do the thing you’re complaining about during sex. They don’t do it during Zoom meetings or when they’re having dinner with their lesbian pals. So I don’t see how this impacts you. Even if it did, YANOPE, you can’t control what other people say during sex — with the exception of people you’re having sex with — and attempting to dictate terms is a waste of time.

Send your burning questions to mailbox@savage.love Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love!

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They started out slow with a lot of fantasy play and dirty talk before moving on to low-stakes/lighthearted/baby-step “first dates” with other men.
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