Riverfront Times - December 23, 2015 by Chava Communications

DECEMBER 23–29, 2015 I VOLUME 39 I NUMBER 50

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The Biggest Christmas Rock Show in the World

HOW TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA DOMINATES THE SEASON – TWO TOURS AT A TIME BY JEFF NIESEL

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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TABLE OF CONTENTS FEATURE

12.

The World’s Biggest Christmas Rock Show How Trans-Siberian Orchestra dominates the holiday season two tours at a time Written by

JEFF NIESEL Cover by

JASON MCEACHERN

NEWS

CULTURE

DINING

MUSIC

The Lede

Calendar

Your friend or neighbor, captured on camera

Seven days worth of great stuff to see and do

Mow to Own

A new plan for vacant lots

A Zipless Trek

From St. Charles to Carndonagh, with love

The Thrill Is Back

The Force Awakens doesn’t disappoint

Two Each His Own

A pair of new shows hits Fort Gondo and Beverly

The Toast of the City

The Death of Swagg Huncho

Cheryl Baehr will have what they’re serving at Milque Toast Bar

Loyalty, hip-hop and the north-county nightmare

Mike Johnson’s best worst idea

Bigger and Muddier

Chef Chat 36

First Look

From Schoemehl’s South Side to Luckys’

Big Muddy Records celebrates its ten-year anniversary

Homespun

Seaby & the Christmas Cookies: All I Want for Christmas Is Brew

Where to eat right now in the Gateway City

Dining Guide

Out Every Night

The best concerts in St. Louis every night of the week

This Just In

This week’s new concert announcements

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Sarah Fenske E D I T O R I A L Associate Editor Kristie McClanahan Arts & Culture Editor Paul Friswold Music Editor Daniel Hill Digital Editor Elizabeth Semko Staff Writers Doyle Murphy, Danny Wicentowski Restaurant Critic Cheryl Baehr Editorial Interns Joshua Connelly, Aaron Davidoff Contributing Writers Mike Appelstein, Allison Babka, Nicole Beckert, Samantha Dever, Mark Fischer, Sara Graham, Joseph Hess, Patrick J. Hurley, Roy Kasten, Kevin Korinek, Dan LeRoy, Jaime Lees, Todd McKenzie, Bob McMahon, Lauren Milford, Nicholas Phillips, Tef Poe, Christian Schaeffer, Alison Sieloff, Mabel Suen, Ryan Wasoba, Alex Weir

A R T Art Director Kelly Glueck Contributing Photographers Abby Gillardi, Robert Rohe, Mabel Suen, Steve Truesdell, Eric Frazier Micah Usher, Theo Welling, Corey Woodruff, Jennifer Silverberg P R O D U C T I O N Production Manager Robert Westerholt Production Designer Brittani Schlager

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NEWS

The Irish Post Really Delivers

ridget Griffin of St. Charles, Missouri, and John Collins of Carndonagh, Ireland, were having a friendly conversation about the Irish postal service, An Post. He insisted that it could deliver mail to its intended recipient, no matter how vaguely addressed. She (more accustomed to the U.S. Postal Service, perhaps?) expressed skepticism. A bet was made. The terms were simple. She’d mail ten postcards to various people in Carndonagh using only their first name, the country and the city. If they reached their destination, she’d owe An Post a tray of pastries. Griffin made good on that bet this week — after the Irish service managed to deliver postcards to not only “Albert” (who was actually Albert Doherty, a prominent local politician), but also a local pub, some of Collins’ neighbors and “Veronica” at the community school. Griffin had even mailed a postcard to a family whose garden she admired during her trip to Carndonagh last July, noting only its cross streets. “The Grants’ fancy garden between Clonmany and Ballyliffin, Ireland,” the address line read. “Thank you for your beautiful fancy garden,” Griffin wrote. “It is nice to see when passing. Just wanted to say thank you!” The message was delivered to the right family — all the way from St. Louis. The roots of Griffin’s friendship with Collins, as well as their bet, go back to the Sister Cities organization. Griffin got involved with the program and serves as the treasurer of the St. Charles chapter — and, in that capacity, traveled to Carndonagh for seventeen days this past summer. “We met with school officials and Continued on pg 10

Carndonagh, Ireland — part of the Republic of Ireland, but from the nation’s far northern tip. | GREG CLARKE/FLICKR

Mow to Own? They’ve Got a Plan for That

roperty hunters, start your lawnmowers. A “mow-to-own” program floated by two St. Louis aldermen would give neighbors an opportunity to trade a little elbow grease for weedy, city-owned lots. Cut the grass enough times on a vacant patch, and it would be yours. “It’s a dead simple way to take care of some of the biggest issues in these neighborhoods,” Alderwoman Cara Spencer says. Spencer and Alderman Chris Carter think the program would help the city unload tough-to-sell parcels, save taxpayers money on maintenance and give everyday St. Louisans the first shot at properties that have a huge impact on their neighborhoods. It’s modeled after a newly adopted initiative in Memphis, but the mow-to-own movement is becoming more popular across the

country. Columbus, Ohio. has one. So does Rockford, Illinois. The way mow-to-own typically works is neighbors agree to take care of empty lots, earning a $25 credit toward the assessed value each time they cut the grass. Most cities require people to mow every two weeks through the season. Once the cold weather hits, they can earn more credits for additional upkeep as needed. Some cities charge a registration fee for the program. Others don’t. Spencer and Carter say they’re still finalizing the details and they’re planning to introduce the proposal to the rest of the board in the next 30 to 60 days. The properties would come from Land Reutilization Authority, or LRA, the land bank operated through the St. Louis Development Corporation. The lots, leftovers from government auctions, are little more than a burden on taxpayers, the aldermen say. The city spends about $3 million each year to mow LRA properties, Spencer says, riverfronttimes.com

and they’re still often overgrown and dangerous. There are about 425 empty lots in Ward 20, which is Spencer’s district covering Dutchtown and nearby southcity neighborhoods. Carter has about 100 in the 27th Ward, which includes Baden, North Point and Walnut Park in north city. “The majority are next to someone who wants to maintain it,” Carter says of the vacants. Participants would have to qualify — no tax delinquents or code violators — and they would have to own an adjacent property. The city already monitors properties across St. Louis for violations, so it shouldn’t be hard to make sure would-be owners are actually doing the work, Spencer and Carter say. They see it as a boost to the city and anyone who wants to put in a little work in their neighborhood. But keep in mind they’re only talking about single lots here — don’t expect to take over a half-acre with your John Deere. —Doyle Murphy

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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Jazz • Blues • Bossa

AN POST Continued from pg 9

This note found its way to the right person, even with scant details.

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city officials to try to get them excited about the program,” says Griffin, who works by day as an administrative assistant to an investment fund in St. Louis. “We invited them to visit St. Charles next year.” On that trip Griffin became friendly with Collins, the school librarian and webmaster in Carndonagh, which is in the rural north of the Inishowen Peninsula in the Republic of Ireland and a sister city to St. Charles. One friendly conversation led to another, and before Griffin and Collins could even settle on what he’d owe her if the postcards didn’t make it, they’d arrived. The RFT wrote about the postcard to Albert Doherty two weeks ago after hearing from his son, Conor Doherty. Then, since we’d pleaded for the other side of the story, Griffin contacted us to solve the mystery — a friend here in the Sister Cities program had spotted the story on our website. As for Conor Doherty, he initially contacted us because was he impressed by An Post’s performance: “It is pretty extraordinary that he got a letter that was missing a surname, a street, house number, county and province — yet he still got it,” he emailed us. Ireland only got a ZIP codebased system this summer, at a cost of 27 million pounds. As the Irish Times noted in July, “The Republic has long been the only developed country on the planet without an effective means of identifying a postal address, but Monday’s official roll out of the new Eircode system means we can now put some delivery

distance between ourselves and the likes of Tuvalu, Djibouti, the Cook Islands and North Korea as we proudly enter the 21st Century.” But who needs a “system” when you have a neighborhood postman who actually knows every nook, cranny and fancy garden of his territory? That’s the part of the story that sticks with Griffin. She’s struck by what the friendly wager revealed about rural Ireland, marveling at “how involved they are with each other — how everybody knows everybody.” She says, “I don’t know my neighbor two houses down, much less talk to them. But there they all know each other. It’s a community. That’s so appealing. It’s so refreshing to realize there are relationships like that out there.” And it’s not just knowing each other — it’s being involved with each other. When Griffin called Claire the Bakers in Carndonagh to make good on her bet, ordering a tray for An Post, the baker refused payment. “They said, ‘Call it a measure of goodwill,” Griffin reports. Speaking of goodwill, we also heard from Albert Doherty himself, who says he’s “surprised and delighted” by the entire experience. He wanted to give credit to the local postman — “Mr. Colm Doherty,” the politician notes. That Doherty is no relation, at least not a close one (the name Doherty is “very numerous and popular” in Carndonagh, Albert Doherty tells us). But in this small world Griffin so admires, he’s on a first-name basis with his customers. —Sarah Fenske

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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The Biggest Christmas Rock Show in the World FROM A BASE IN SMALL-TOWN IOWA, TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA DOMINATES THE HOLIDAY SEASON – TWO TOURS AT A TIME BY JEFF NIESEL

Get ready for the biggest, baddest, most over-the-top Christmas rock show, St. Louis. JASON MCEACHERN

s head of Night Castle Management, the firm that handles all of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “artistic endeavors,” Adam Lind is the self-proclaimed “guy who’s responsible for everything that goes wrong.” He’s walking through the cluttered hallways of Mid-America Center in Council Bluffs, Iowa, a small town just across a bridge from Omaha where the prog-rock band rehearses each year in preparation for its annual winter tour. To say TSO has taken over the venue would be an understatement. “We have stuff everywhere,” he says. At the arena’s entrance there’s a table full of old, brightly colored crew T-shirts from nearly two decades of touring. They’re spread out on a table, free for the taking. One bright orange T-shirt displays the logo for 2012’s “Beethoven’s Last Night” tour — a drawing of Beethoven with disheveled hair — and a purple shirt features an image of a fire-breathing dragon and an electric guitar. A plastic gargoyle stands watch in a hallway as members of the crew whirr by on Segways and electric scooters. You can hear wailing guitars and operatic vocals emanating from behind the closed arena doors as the band practices tunes such as “What Child is This?” and “Music Box Blues.” Inside those doors, roadies walk the empty arena floor while carrying open laptops. A giant pyramid-like contraption sits under a black tarp as if it’s a modern-day Batmobile, ready to shock and awe once the tarp comes off. On the back loading dock, forklifts bring in the heavy equipment, and somewhere in the arena’s bowels, a crew works at cutting sheet metal and drilling the gigantic metallic structures that hold the array of lights and pyrotechnical gear together. A rehearsal stage for the East Coast version of the tour sits on one side of the arena floor, while a stage for the West Coast version of the tour has been erected on the other end of the arena floor. The reason for the two stages is simple: TSO’s concerts have become so gigantic that they require two incarnations. “The rehearsal process is the hardest part of the whole tour,” admits raspy-voiced backing singer Kayla Reeves, who joined the group six years when she was only seventeen. “Once we’re on the road, it’s like Groundhog Day, and everything is second nature.” She adds, “Picture an iceberg. The top of it is just barely sticking out. Underneath it you have this huge chunk of ice. That’s like rehearsal. The show is the little top above the water. Every year, [show creator] Paul [O’Neill] keeps putting more and more chips on the table. I remember how overwhelmed I was the first year I came into the arena and saw the two stages. I’ve never seen anything like it. Every year, I’m just blown away. Paul never ceases to turn it up a notch.” For the past seven years, the group has rehearsed in this small, centrally located town that puts the East and West Coast versions of the tour in prime launching position. A fleet of trucks and tour buses are already positioned in the arena’s parking lot. Soon, they’ll roll out and haul crew and gear across the country for the next eight weeks to bring the biggest, baddest, most over-the-top and extravagant Christmas rock show you’ll ever see to an arena Continued on pg 14 near you.

IT’S TIME TO TELL

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TSO Continued from pg 13 PAUL O’NEILL: A MAN OF LETTERS When he was young, O’Neill, the group’s mastermind, had trouble reading anything more sophisticated than The Cat in the Hat. In first grade, he was in danger of falling behind. But then his mother spent a summer teaching him phonetics, and the floodgates opened as O’Neill, whose parents forbade him to watch TV, started devouring the books around the family’s home. Now, he easily recites facts from European history and quotes Cicero. As he was learning to play guitar, he went to see the Who perform at Madison Square Garden in the late ’60s. It was a pivotal moment. “The Who were the only band that I walked out on because they were so good I couldn’t stand watching them,” says O’Neill. With his black leather jacket, dark Italian sunglasses, speckled gray beard and shoulder-length hair, he looks like a cross between a member of the Ramones and a Lord of the Rings wizard. His dressing room includes a keyboard, two

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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guitars and a KISS-themed pinball machine. For guests, the room also contains a few cases of TransSiberian swag — a stack of denim jackets with the TSO emblem on the back and CDs of the band’s new album, Letters from the Labyrinth. He gives the stuff away at such a rapid pace, the cases have to regularly be replenished. “[The Who] were so good, I was about to throw up,” he continues. “I walked around New York City really depressed for about two hours. To me, the Who were the ones who invented the rock opera. When I first heard ‘Pinball Wizard’ on the radio, I thought, ‘Whoa!’ When I heard it on the album Tommy, it was a whole different thing.” Later, as he toured with Aerosmith in the ’70s, he started developing his esoteric sense of the world. He has an extensive collection of letters written by Thomas Edison, purchased through the auction house Christie’s and at various estate sales. “I have every letter from Thomas Edison to his tool and die guy about how to build the first record player — I have every single one,” he says. “I have a lot of letters from Lincoln, from Churchill, from Oscar Wilde, because when you’re holding letters that Lincoln held, that Churchill held, that Robert Louis Stevenson wrote when he was a teenager, you feel a connection.

Like I tell my daughter, we don’t own these, we’re just the caretakers of them for the next generation. I have one letter from George Washington to Thomas Jefferson, from December 1779. He thought he was going to lose the war. It’s fascinating stuff.” Those literary sensibilities would inform the prog band Savatage, which originally recorded “Christmas Eve Sarajevo 12/24” in 1995. The song would reappear on TSO’s debut, 1996’s Christmas Eve and Other Stories, and launch the band into the behemoth that it is today. Al Pitrelli, the current West Coast musical director, describes the informal nature of that album’s initial songwriting sessions. “Me, Paul O’Neill, Jon Oliva and Bob Kinkel got together at what we called the kitchen table in Paul’s apartment,” says the slender, longhaired Pitrelli. He’s in his dressing room, where he’s plastered a sticker that reads “Roadie for Life” on a black case full of clothes and gear. “We would throw ideas in the middle of the table, literally and figuratively. We were just having fun. We didn’t think it would ever sell. Who the hell would buy a Christmas record by a bunch of long hairs from Queens? Don’t ever tell the bumblebee it can’t fly. It was really Continued on pg 16 that simple.”

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EACH MONTH? Electric-guitar solos might be a thing of the past — everywhere but at a TSO concert. SAMANTHA FRYBERGER

TSO Continued from pg 14 BACK TO SQUARE ONE The first-ever TSO show took place in 1996 at a New York hospital. New York DJ Scott Shannon, whom O’Neill describes as “the most powerful DJ in America at the time,” invited the band to play Blythedale Children’s Hospital just north of New York City. O’Neill initially didn’t want to play the show; but once he visited the hospital, he couldn’t resist. “It’s a fabulous hospital that helps critically hurt children,” explains Lind. “Every year, they put on a concert for them. They built a stage, and the kids were heartbreaking cases. Some of them even had gunshot wounds. It was really amazing.” Pitrelli says that show “changed my life forever.” That day, he had walked out of an Irish bar in Astoria, in Queens, at 4 a.m. after drinking an eighteen-year-old Scotch, oblivious to the concert’s significance. But once he arrived at the venue, he realized the show would be something special. “We were just killing time the night before the show,” he says. 16

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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“I thought, ‘Man, it’s early in the morning for this kind of concert.’ I quickly realized it wasn’t a ‘I have a boo-boo’ concert. I realized it was serious stuff, and we would have an impact. I was watching people crying, and I thought it was more special. I just thought we have a song on the radio — that’s awesome. I realized it wasn’t just a rock band anymore.” Then, in 1998, the band recorded a TV show before it ever even toured. O’Neill has described it as the band’s “first show.” “Paul didn’t want to do the typical video,” says Lind.” “He turned what would have been shown only once on TV into this story that’s been on TV every year since. In typical Paul fashion, he threw everyone a curveball.” Filmed in an old Jersey City theater, the show features Ossie Davis, Jewel and Michael Crawford. O’Neill has said the band, though still in the early stages, captured a certain “magic,” as the special features some of the best songs from the band’s catalog at the time. At the urging of Cleveland disc jockey Bill Louis, the group took its 1996 Christmas rock opera Christmas Eve and Other Stories, the first part of a trilogy of prog-rock-influenced Christmas albums, on the road in 1999. Lewis had been playing the album’s single, “Christmas Eve Sa-

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rajevo 12/24,” on WNCX and had gotten great feedback from fans. “He said, ‘You can do a show in New York, but not in Cleveland?’ So he nagged me to death,” O’Neill says of Lewis. “Turns out, he was right. The first show sold out in four hours.” The group then added another Cleveland show and that sold out. A third was added. It also sold out. “Cleveland was pandemonium,” Pitrelli says. Cleveland-based Belkin Productions also booked gigs in Detroit, New York, Philadelphia and Chicago. With the exception of Chicago, each show exceeded expectations. The following year, the band hired Elliot Saltzman to be its tour director as it expanded to about 30 shows with two different installations traipsing across the country. “Adam Lind suckered me into it,” says Saltzman. He’s sitting on the swanky leather sofa in his dimly lit office, the walls of which are festooned with Indian tapestries to give off the proper “vibe.” “He said it would be really easy. Once I said yes, he then added that he wanted to have a second tour go out. I had to scramble to hire other people. That year, it was really crazy.” Saltzman also hired lighting designer Bryan Hartley, to help the band come up with a product that Saltzman says is better than every-

“In sports, you go back to square one every season. It’s like that with Trans-Siberian Orchestra.” thing else on the road. Hartley had known O’Neill for years and was happy to come on the tour. He still does all the band’s lighting. That incarnation of the tour had a good thirteen-year run before O’Neill decided to mix things up, often playing new albums in their entirety while still incorporating the “hits.” Now, it’s consistently one of the highest grossing tours in the world. When asked about how he deals with the pressure to outdo each previous tour, Pitrelli uses a sports metaphor. “The New England Patriots won three Super Bowls, and they’re not counting their rings,” he says. “Tony LaRussa, who’s a big fan of the band, comes every year. We’d ask him if he was done, he always says no. In sports, you go back to square one at the start of every season. It’s like that with Trans-Siberian Orchestra.” Continued on pg 18

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Join Citizens for Modern Transit on February 11 for the 2nd Annual Transit Crush. Enjoy flash mob style antics, a chance to win prizes, and a happy hour to show your Love for Transit. Bring a date, a friend, or come on your own! www.cmt-stl.org | 314.231.7272 |

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Lights, lasers, smoke and fire all contribute to the show. | JASON MCEACHERN

TSO Continued from pg 17 LIGHTS, LASERS, PYRO! In its nineteen-year history, TSO has played more than 1,600 shows for more than 11 million fans, officially making it one of the world’s biggest arena-rock acts. For the past several years, the band’s winter tours have consistently ranked in the Top 10 for attendance and grosses; back in 2009, Billboard called it one of the “Top Touring Artists of the Decade.” Last year’s 2014 Winter Tour grossed more than $51 million in 52 days; it played to nearly 1 million fans. This year’s Ghosts of Christmas Eve production will hit 60 cities across North America to perform 100 shows. Based on TSO’s multi-platinum DVD and longrunning PBS fundraiser, the concert follows the journey of a young runaway who, on Christmas Eve, breaks into an abandoned vaudeville theater seeking shelter from the cold. She then experiences “ghostly visions” from that concert hall’s past. The band will also play past hits such as “Christmas 18

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Eve Sarajevo 12/24,” “O’ Come All Ye Faithful,” “Good King Joy,” “Christmas Canon,” “Music Box Blues,” “Promises to Keep” and “This Christmas Day” during the two-hour concert. “Some of the vocals and instrumentals from the new album are amazing,” says Pitrelli. In this new production, “The film from the original TV special is part of the backdrop, and when you see that, you feel like you’re in the old 19th-century theater where we filmed that first special.” The current show also features a new high-definition video screen that’s about the size of half a football field. The production involves 40 trucks, 20 buses, 240 touring personnel, 276 local stagehands per date, 256 rigging points, 256 one-ton motors, 1,248 intelligent lighting fixtures, 36 full color lasers including audience scanners, 6,352 video panels, 1,552 pyrotechnic effects, 596 flame/fire modules, 112 speaker boxes and four mixing boards (the boards alone cost a million bucks). As a dress rehearsal of the current show commences, O’Neill ar-

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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rives onstage, black guitar strapped across his chest. He unleashes one meaty riff after another while a tender Christmas tune featuring children singing plays over the house PA. Huge flames shoot from the rear of the stage as a crew of sound guys hovers over mixing boards and computers, adjusting the sound levels and positioning the tresses near the arena’s roof. “Freebird!” yells one roadie,

causing O’Neill to break into a smile. And when the crew cranks up the pyro, O’Neill responds favorably. “Fuck, yeah!” he screams. As the show begins, a cadre of backing singers belt out the operatic “Time and Distance” as the stage’s ginormous video screens project the image of an animated rendition of a castle that looks like it was taken from a video game. It’s the kind of trippy imagery that’s

It’s called an orchestra for a reason — the violin plays a big part in TSO’s rock opera. JASON MCEACHERN

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that people have never seen before. You will never see this many lasers in your life. At one point, it looks like the whole stage is morphing and coming off its tracks and moving toward you. It’s an onslaught. It’s visual and sensual experiences you’ve never had before. It’s like putting on a new dress.” The fact that TSO has become such a huge production means that it has outlived O’Neill’s initial expectations. “We hoped it would do OK,” he admits. “When the first album came out in 1996, it didn’t sell, but then Aerosmith wasn’t a hit out of the box, either. But I wouldn’t ever want to change this, even though it threw off the whole rhythm of our whole lives. Because of how popular the Christmas rock operas are, no matter what we were doing, come October, we have to stop and build these monstrous systems. “I want people to experience emotions they’ve never felt before. I realize if I can change a key and make a song one-tenth of one percent better, I will. Simply singing isn’t acceptable in TSO. The singers need to become the characters.” Saltzman concurs as he watches a dress rehearsal of the 140-minute show come to an end. “This passes the shiver test,” he says emphatically, pointing at the stage. “If you get the shivers from the singing and then the shivers from watching the production, it’s the double shivers. And if you have that, then you have the audience in the palm of your hand.” n

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often only seen in today’s EDM concerts. It’s not long before the pyro kicks in, making the stage look like an oversized outdoor fireplace. Soon, crisp blue and white lasers flicker through the arena as the band launches into the power ballad “Lost Christmas Eve.” The video screens flicker with old news reports and white noise as the band sinks its teeth into “Christmas Eve Sarajevo,” TSO’s signature tune that finds the group guitarists standing side-by-side at the front of the stage, guitars hoisted high over their heads for the song’s climactic crescendo. Sitting back in his dressing room, O’Neill describes TSO as “an ideal and an idea.” He says he wants to continue to “break down the wall” between band and audience and envisions that, at some point, the show will populate two stages on the arena floor connected by a catwalk for what he calls “end-toend arena rock.” Performers will sing and play in unison — “no matter where you turn, you’re surrounded by the music.” He’s not sure if that sort of setup will work in venues where the stages can only be situated on one side of the floor, but he comes off as the kind of guy who doesn’t take “no” for an answer. You get the sense that he’ll find a way to make it work. Saltzman agrees that the game plan remains to keep getting bigger and better. “TSO is all about walking out of the show and saying, ‘That’s the best show I’ve ever seen,’” he says. “The firepower we have out there is unparalleled. We spend in the millions of dollars for lighting and pyro. For us, it’s full blown. It’s a risk, though not so much now that we have a dedicated fan base. But these are lighting and pyro effects

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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CALENDAR

WEEK OF DECEMBER 24-30

Elf (and Santa) visits the Peabody. | CHRIS BENNION

THURSDAY 12/24 [ I C E S K AT I N G ]

Steinberg Ice Skating Rink Any parent can tell you how difficult it is to put the kids to bed on Christmas Eve. Too much excitement and too much candy turn ’em into bug-eyed, toy-crazed night owls. Your only hope is exhaustion — not for you, but for them. The Steinberg Ice Skating Rink in Forest Park (400 Jefferson Drive; 314-367-7465 or www. steinbergskatingrink.com) is open every day through Thursday, February 25 — but more importantly, it’s open from 10 a.m. to midnight during the holidays (December 18

through January 2). The outdoor rink has an open-skate policy, so you can skate all day for just $7 per skater; that’s only 50 cents per hour if you make a day of it. Some fresh air and heavy exercise is just the ticket for tiring out your Santa fanatics. Keep ’em on the ice long enough, and you might even get to sleep in until the sun is up the next day. — Paul Friswold

FRIDAY 12/25 [OUTDOORS]

Moonlight Hike Christmas tradition for Americans has us trooping to cineplexes and theaters for our evening’s diversion after the presents are ex-

changed, the food eaten, and the visiting completed. But what do you do in a movie theater? You sit — after you just sat in the car getting there. This is on top of all the sitting you’ve most likely been doing the whole day long. Too much sitting ails a body; why not move instead? Better yet, move those sedentary limbs along a nice trail outdoors at night. Tonight’s Monthly Moonlight Hike (Olin Nature Preserve – The Nature Institute, 2213 South Levis Lane, Godfrey, Illinois; 618-466-9930 or www.greatriverroad.com) is your ticket out of the indoor stationary blues. This guided hike takes you through part of the Mississippi Sanctuary, 37 acres of dramatic views, waterfalls and wildlife. The excursion is free and lasts approximately one hour on light to moderate terrain. — Alex Weir riverfronttimes.com

SATURDAY 12/26 [ T H E AT E R ]

Elf A wise-ish man once said, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing out loud for all to hear.” That man was Buddy the Elf, and he knew what he was talking about. As a human raised as an elf in Santa’s workshop, all Buddy wanted to do was celebrate Christmas and find his real father. That dual mission took him to New York, where he got to do both of those things, as well as fall in love and help his old pal, Santa, do the Christmas Eve run. The Broadway musical adaptation of the classic family film Elf retells Buddy’s saga with

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

Continued on pg 22

RIVERFRONT TIMES

CALENDAR Continued from pg 21

Check out Peepholes of Paris. more singing and, sadly, less Amy Sedaris. Elf is presented at 3 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday (December 26 and 27) at the Peabody Opera House (1400 Market Street; 314-499-7600 or www.peabodyoperahouse.com). Tickets are $30 to $82. — Paul Friswold

Tickets are $49 and include dinner and drinks, but gratuity’s not included. — Paul Friswold

SUNDAY 12/27 [SOCCER]

[BURLESQUE]

Peepholes of Paris Christmas is generally for and about satisfying children’s need for toys and attention. And now that it’s over, maybe you should think about doing something nice for yourself — or maybe you should do something naughty instead. Make a night of it and check out Peepholes of Paris: A Moulin Revue. Burlesque troupe the Jumpin’ Jupiters presents this Moulin Rouge-inspired performance as a floor show while you enjoy a four-course dinner. And you don’t have to leave when it’s over — stick around for dancing and drinks with the cast. It’s an old-world night out here in the new world. Dinner starts at 7:30 p.m. at the the Boom Boom Room (500 North Fourteenth Street; 314-436-7000 or www.theboomboomroomstl.com). 22

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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St. Louis Ambush The St. Louis Ambush are hoping for some leftover holiday magic when the team squares off against Central Division rivals, the Milwaukee Wave. Former St. Louis Steamer Daryl Doran, now in his fourteenth full season coaching a St. Louis indoor soccer league franchise, hopes a victory here can reverse his squad’s anemic start to the season. This post-yuletide match offers the Ambush a golden opportunity to turn things around against a struggling opponent that features a balanced attack from midfielders Max Ferdinand and Ian Bennett. A big win on home turf could get the ball bouncing their way. Game time is 5:35 p.m. at the Family Arena (2002 Arena Parkway, St. Charles; 636-896-4200 or www.stlouisambush.com), and tickets are $15 to $47. — Rob Levy

RED WHITE & BLUE

[SCIENCE]

Mission: Mars NASA is currently working toward the goal of putting humans on Mars in the 2030s, which is not as far away as it sounds. The space agency just last week opened the astronaut application process for the class of 2017, which indicates a certain urgency. If you’re eager to see what the future holds, the Mission: Mars exhibition at the Saint Take a trip to Mars. | COURTESY SAINT LOUIS SCIENCE CENTER Louis Science Center (5050 Oakland Avenue; 314-289-4400 or www. slsc.org) is the place to be. This interactive display is developed by the science center, Washing- [ K W A N Z A A ] ton University and NASA and is divided into two parts. Mission Control gives you the chance to program and remotely drive a simulated Mars rover, complete with the time delay caused by In this space before the new year, the signal transit time between celebration coupled with reflection Earth and Mars. Mission Mars — can fill your downtime with both Base lets you take on the role of purpose and relaxation. During an explorer on the Red Planet in the Kwanzaa: Festival of the First the year 2076. You’ll conduct sci- Fruits event at the Missouri Botanentific operations at key points ical Garden (4344 Shaw Boulevard; using one of the science center’s 314-577-5100 or www.mobot.org), two rovers. Mission: Mars is open you’ll have more than enough time to ponder and learn from stories, daily, and admission is free. — Paul Friswold revel in African drumming and music, and consider the harvest of your life and how you’ll plant for the future. Plus, if weather permits, you can always take a stroll around the garden grounds for a different perspective of the usually [HOCKEY] lush landscape. Admission to the festival, which runs from noon to 3 p.m., is included with your regular The Nashville Predators become garden admission ($3 to $8). the hunted when the team vis— Alison Sieloff its Scottrade Center (1401 Clark Avenue; 314-241-1888 or www. Planning an event, exhibiting your art or stlblues.com) tonight at 7 p.m. putting on a play? Let us know and we’ll to play the St. Louis Blues. The include it in the Night & Day section or holidays bring plenty of bruises publish a listing in the online calendar — and body aches for the Blues, for free! Send details via e-mail (calendar@ riverfronttimes.com), fax (314-754-6416) or with six games in an eleven-day mail (6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. span bracketing Christmas. Last Louis, MO 63130, attn: Calendar). Include year the Predators won the seathe date, time, price, contact information son series, but the Blues had an and location (including ZIP code). Please overall better record. But that’s in submit information three weeks prior to the the past; both teams need points date of your event. No telephone submisto climb the table in the Western sions will be accepted. Find more events online at www.riverfronttimes.com. Conference. Tickets to tonight’s game are $64 to $300.— Rob Levy

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Enjoy the ultimate evening out. Then stay the night.

New Year’s Eve. The four-course dinner [ H O L I D AY S & S E A S O N A L ]

New Year’s Eve Celebration Ring in 2016 with a night of dinner, dancing and fireworks — then it’s breakfast at midnight. The “Dinner and Entertainment” package ($65 per person) includes appetizers, a dinner buffet, the breakfast at midnight buffet and a Champagne toast. The “Family Room” package ($13-$18) includes a dinner buffet, games, movies and more. Reservations are required. Thu., Dec. 31, 6:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. For more, call 636-928-3366 ext. 0, or visit information@innsbrook-resort. com. Innsbrook Resort, 1 Aspen Lake Dr., Wright City.

Ring in the new year December 31, 7:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m., at Hyatt Regency St. Louis at The Arch with the Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party, featuring Dr. Zhivegas, Superjam and DJ Jamie Lambert, plus Curt & Nina from the NOW 96.3 morning show. Enjoy food stations, open bar, champagne toast and confetti drop at midnight. The Ultimate NYE Standard Room Package, including overnight stay and two party tickets, starts at $369. The Ultimate NYE VIP Room Package adds VIP seating, premium bar and dedicated cocktail service and starts at $459. Party tickets only start at $129 ($175 for VIP) and are available at eventbrite.com. To book or for more information, call 314 342 4688 or visit stlouisarch.hyatt.com.

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New Year’s Eve at Boogaloo Party with Boogaloo to end your year. There’s a four-course dinner buffet with crab-stuffed beef tenderloin and a Champagne toast at midnight. A DJ 4:32:39 PM spins from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m., and shot and drink specials are on all night. Thu., Dec. 31, $40. Boogaloo, 7344 Manchester Road, Maplewood; 314645-4803.

New Year’s Eve at Oz Party until 6 a.m. with DJs in each room, a huge balloon drop at midnight and a Champagne toast. Bottle service reservations available. Call 618-2741464. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m., $10. Oz Nightclub, 300 Monsanto Ave., Sauget, Illinois; 618-274-1464.

New Year’s Eve at the Plaza Hotel

7750 Carondelet Ave • Clayton, MO 63105 • 314-726.5400

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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New Year’s Eve. The four-course dinner includes spring salad, pasta, beef conti, swordfish and dessert. No coupons or gift certificates, and reservations via credit card only are required. Doors are at 7:30. Call 314-421-0555 or email Info@Kemolls.com. Thu., Dec. 31, 8 p.m.-12:30 a.m., $100 per person plus tax. Kemoll’s Italian Restaurant, 211 N. Broadway.

New Year’s Eve Cruise Celebrate the new year while cruising on the river. Enjoy a full sit-down dinner with views of the skyline, an open bar, dancing, party favors and a live DJ, plus a midnight toast. Call 877982-1410 for reservations. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $85. Gateway Arch Riverboats, 11 N. 4th St.

NYE 3D featuring FTAMPA Get ready for NYE 3D, when the Nightclub at Ameristar Casino is transformed into a 3-D wonderland, complete with 3-D video mapping DJ booths, holograms and a 3-D photo booth. Each guest receives a custom pair of 3-D glasses upon arrival. FTAMPA, Brazil’s No. 1 DJ, makes his St. Louis headliner debut. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., $30-$40. Email kerry@ partystarevents.com or visit flavorus. com/nye3d for more information. Ameristar Casino, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles; 636-949-7777.

Dance in the new year with three ballrooms of bands and fun. Choose from four packages that range from a fourhour open bar all the way up to an all-inclusive package complete with dinner, overnight accommodations and a New Year’s Day brunch — with late checkout to boot. All four options include a Champagne toast with hats and noisemakers. Call 314-726-5400 for reservations. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.1 a.m., $65-$170 per person. Crowne Plaza Hotel, 7750 Carondelet Ave., Clayton; 314-726-5400.

NYE Extravaganza: Bubbles, Broads & Booze

New Year’s Eve at Top of the Met

Celebrate New Year’s Eve with live music and DJs. Choose from two packages — each grants Continued on pg 26

It’s a night of dinner and dancing with Everyday People at Top of the Met on

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Entertainment provided by:

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800 S Hwy Dr, Fenton, MO 63026 • (636) 343-5757 riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

NYE HAPPENINGS Continued from pg 24

New Year’s Eve. The four-course dinner

Ozzie’s New Year’s Eve Party Party at Ozzie’s Sports Bar & Grill. Dance to the sounds of DJ St. Chuck and enjoy party favors and light snacks, plus a celebration at midnight. Call 314-881-7595 for more information. Thu., Dec. 31, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., $35 per person or $60 per couple. Lumière Place Casino & Hotel, 999 N. Second St.; 314-881-7777.

NYE Extravaganza: Bubbles, Broads & Booze

e v e s r all B a o e o D Y oo V w s ’ e r e N gg

Mad Art starts the new year with a drag show starring Adria Andrews, Siren, Jodi Santana and Miss Gay Missouri 2012, Michelle McCausland. There will also be an appetizer buffet, and the cash bar will be open with Cham- ner ed din pagne and drink specials M seaallt night. P 0 :3 9 Visit agwww.brownpapertickets.com/ e • 6- AM • Wine ack til 1:30for cktails p oDec. r C e e event/2471766 tickets. Thu., iv n s din dancing • Exclu gne Art g 20’s 31, 9 p.m., Mad Gallery, 2727 hampa C$25. • Roarin s ft Dra ft 12th on raS. s r C e • St.; 314-771-8230. p r e r $ 0 pe Dinn

e Bootl

Music Events This Weekend: 26

NYE Live Celebrate New Year’s Eve with live mu-

Sat Decsic 26 -and 7 PMDJs. Show - Wack-A-Doo (Vaudeville Choose from two packag-Gypsy Jazz) Sun Dec 27 - 11:30 AM Brunch - Miss Jubilee Hot Jazz

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Make 2016 metal with performances by Article III, Awaiting the Gallows, Nethersphere and Spirit of Chaos, plus free Champagne at midnight. Thu., Dec. 31, 8 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St.; 314-289-9050.

Celebrate the new year while cruising on the river. Enjoy a full sit-down dinner with views of the skyline, an open bar, dancing, party favors and a live DJ, plus a midnight toast. Call 877982-1410 for reservations. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $85. Gateway Arch Riverboats, 11 N. 4th St.

Get ready for NYE 3D, when the Speakeasy Dinner Soiree • Decadence • Scandal NightclubJane at & Ameristar Casino is Live music by Sarah the blue notes transformed into a 3-D wonderland, 7 PM - 1:30 AM complete with 3-D video mapping DJ booths, holograms and a 3-D photo booth. Each guest receives a custom pair of 3-D glasses upon arrival. FTAMPA, Brazil’s No. 1 DJ, makes his St. Louis headliner debut. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., $30-$40. Email kerry@ partystarevents.com or visit flavorus. com/nye3d for more information. Ameristar Casino, 1 Ameristar Blvd., St. Charles; 636-949-7777.

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access to five different venues. The “Gold Package” ($75) is an all-inclusive premium drink package (8p.m.-midnight) with draft beer, house wine and premium well spirits, and midnight champagne toast. The “Diamond Package” ($125) includes everything in the “Gold Package,” in addition to a VIP buffet from 7-10 p.m. and a dedicated VIP space. Thu., Dec. 31, 7 p.m.-3 a.m., $75-$125. Visit www.stlballparkvillage.com/entertainment/event/7015 for more information. Ballpark Village, 601 Clark Ave.; 314-345-9481.

es — each grants Continued on pg 26

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

Retreat’s New Year’s Eve Dinner

games, prizes, a sideshow tent and more, all backed by Lola van Ella and the Van Ella Band, Jeez Loueez, Bazuka Joe, Ray Gunn, Lady Jack and many, many more! Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., $69-$350. Call 314-384-2532 or visit www.brownpapertickets.com/ event/2412388. Casa Loma Ballroom, 3354 Iowa Ave.

Three Sixty New Year’s Eve Bash Count down to 2016 on Three Sixty’s rooftop bar with celebratory cuisine, cocktails and a Champagne toast. There’s live music by DJ Steve Meyer and a ball drop on the east and west sides of the rooftop. Reservations are required, and bottle service is also available (there is a $110 food and beverage minimum). Call 314-6418842 to book space. Thu., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Hilton St. Louis at the Ballpark, 1 S. Broadway; 314-421-1776.

Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party The Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party features an incredible lineup of live music including Dr. Zhivegas, Superjam and Curt & Nina from NOW 96.3. There will be an open bar all night, food stations, party favors, a Champagne toast and confetti drop at midnight. For more information call 314-342-4688. Thu., Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Hyatt Regency St. Louis at the Arch, 315 Chestnut St.

Argosy’s New Year’s Eve

Welcome the new year with a fivecourse menu that includes optional beverage pairings. Thu., Dec. 31, 5-8 p.m., $45 per person, Contact travis@ treatreatgastropub.com for reservations. Retreat Gastropub, 2 N. Sarah St.; 314-261-4497.

Take a shot at winning $216 in free SlotPlay every 15 minutes from 5 to 9:30 p.m. At 10 p.m. one lucky player wins $2,016. Add a pound of crab legs to your dinner for just $8.95 at the Captain’s Table buffet from 4-9 p.m. Thu., Dec. 31, 4 p.m. Argosy Casino - Alton, One Piasa St., Alton, 618-474-7500.

Russo’s NYE BASH

Flying Saucer New Year’s Eve

Celebrate the New Year with Russo’s Catering at Spazio Westport! It will feature a six-hour full open premium bar, passed appetizers, a dinner buffet with hand-carved entrées, dessert station, snacks and Champagne. Overnight accommodations are available. Thu., Dec. 31, 7 p.m.-1 a.m., $90 per person, $95 per hotel room (both include tax), 314-576-0400. Email emily@russosgourmet.com or visit https:// russosgourmet.com/nye for more information. Spazio at West Port, 12031 Lackland Road, Maryland Heights.

Come party with Flying Saucer this year. We’ll have a live DJ and giveaways, plus a Champagne toast at midnight. Bar reservations for just $20 a person. Thu., Dec. 31, 7 p.m. Flying Saucer Draught Emporium, 900 Spruce St., St. Louis, 314-932-1456.

Spectaculaire: A Grand New Year’s Ball! Spectaculaire is back for its sixth year, featuring showgirls and -boys, aerialists, fire breathers, burlesque and ensemble acts. Plus, there’s an epic midnight countdown, a Champagne toast, late-night buffet, carnival

Grapeseed’s New Year’s Eve Enjoy great food and libations from our regular menu, or try one of our chefinspired specials. Live music by Brian Vaccaro and Ryan Marquez. Call 314925-8525 for reservations. Thu., Dec. 31. Grapeseed, 5400 Nottingham Ave.; 314-925-8525.

Guido’s New Year’s Eve Avoid amateur night and enjoy our special menu and relaxing atmostphere. We’re open New Year’s Day too. Thu., Dec. 31. Guido’s Pizzeria & Tapas, 5046 Shaw Ave.; 314-771-4900.

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD NOMINATIONS BEST SCREENPLAY BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS BEST ORIGINAL SCORE QUENTIN TARANTINO

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OVERUNDERSTL.COM / 314.621.8881 10TH & WASHINGTON AVE. 28

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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The Thrill Is Back J.J. Abrams’ The Force Awakens makes you feel like a kid again. Written by

MARANN JOHANSON Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Directed by J.J. Abrams. Written by Lawrence Kasdan, J.J. Abrams and Michael Arndt. Starring Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega and Oscar Isaac. Now screening throughout the galaxy.

here’s no 20th Century Fox fanfare this time, of course, which is weird, because to this day, whenever I hear it, no matter what film it’s allegedly attached to, the excitable eight-year-old inside me pops up to whisper, “Maybe it’ll secretly turn out to be Star Wars.” Thankfully, there is no Disney ident, either. X-wing fighters doing a flyover of Cinderella’s castle would have been an unpleasant reminder of how worried I was about the Mouse’s takeover of this franchise. All those worries have been laid to rest. J.J. Abrams has done a marvelous job of rebooting Star Wars for a new generation, not only of fans, but of the people who live in the story as well. The Force Awakens — Episode VII! — gets everything exactly right (though in some instances it’s painful to acknowledge that) in how it charts a path to a future for this story, one that steadfastly refuses to get mired in nostalgia or in rehashing the journeys of the original-trilogy characters. Those we already know and love — Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), and Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) — are no longer center stage. They are here, some more present than others, and their spirit is strong in the ethos, some moreso than others, but there is no doubt: they are legends, they are almost myths, and they are the past. The future is in the hands of... First, let me reassure you that I am going to reveal the absolute minimum I can in order to give you

The Force Awakens gets everything exactly right in how it charts a path to a future for this story, one that refuses to get mired in nostalgia or rehashing the original characters. a rough idea of how well The Force Awakens works. Because one of the great joys of this movie, apart from the fact that it is a Star Wars geek party, is how its secrets have been kept. Almost nothing about who the new characters are or what their stories are about has been revealed prior to the film’s release.

When trailers tend to tell us the whole movie in two and half minutes, this is astonishing. Star Wars may be a universe we know well, but there is a wonderful sense of discovery to be had while watching this movie for the first time. That’s not to say that these characters aren’t familiar — in the best way. Of course there is an analog for Luke: she is Rey (Daisy Ridley), scavenger loner on the planet Jakku (another desert world, so here’s a Tatooine analog) who scratches out a living selling parts she digs out of crashed Imperial star destroyer rusting in the dunes. The ruins of the war that Luke, Leia and Han won decades back are everywhere, including in the galaxy’s politics: the power vacuum left by the fall of the Empire has given rise to a new military force for badness called the First Order; its face is that of the masked Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), the Darth Vader analog; the Dark Side of the Force is strong with him. There’s a Resistance pushing back against the First Order, and its star X-wing pilot, Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac), all swaggering snark, fills the Han Solo niche. Only Finn riverfronttimes.com

(John Boyega), a stormtrooper with the First Order, is a character unlike any we’ve met before. And so I won’t say any more about him. All the Star Wars notes are here, remixed into a glorious new arrangement. With The Force Awakens, Abrams — who also wrote the script with Lawrence Kasdan (among his many credits: The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi) and Michael Arndt — gives us more of what we love without it feeling like a rehash. Little droids can be adorable, but they can also be a pain in the ass. It hurts to see starships blasting off into the sky when you can’t get off the ground. There is magic in the universe, and danger, and adventure. This is exactly what my tender little geeky heart was hoping for when I burst into tears at that famous Star Wars logo up on the screen once again, and that iconic opening crawl bringing us up to speed on the last 30 years of Galactic History. And The Force Awakens delivered. It made me feel like a kid again, falling in love with movies all over again. I have no idea if this is a perfect movie. I’m too blinded by how perfectly Star Wars it is. n

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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Cohen Media Group Presents

NOW PLAYING IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES / NO PASSES ACCEPTED ATTENTION AMPAS AND GUILD MEMBERS: Your card and picture ID will admit you and a guest to any performance as follows (subject to seating availability): REGAL will admit: AMPAS, DGA, PGA, and WGA (Mon-Thur only). Please check newspaper circuit listing for theatre locations & showtimes. Theatre list subject to change.

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12/21/15 11:17 AM

THE ARTS

[VISUAL]

The Outsiders New shows at Fort Gondo and Beverly reveal the power of standing apart from the cows Written by

ANGELA MALCHIONNO

Peter Pranschke, Watch Out: This Might Hurt

Fort Gondo 3151 Cherokee Street

Ken Wood, Each to Other Beverly 3155 Cherokee Street

Both open Thursdays and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. and by appointment. www.fortgondo.com info@fortgondo.com

ince its inception in 2002, Fort Gondo Compound for the Arts, a nonprofit that includes the adjacent gallery Beverly, has been outside the mainstream. Before the neighborhood to its east exploded with bars and retail spots, the compound occupied this space quite literally: West of Jefferson almost to Gravois, the storefronts at the intersection of Cherokee and Compton were an obscure destination. And even as Cherokee Street has become a cultural hub, for many St. Louis artists, Gondo remains a special place; the bathroom has a soap dispenser shaped like an orange, a throwback to when you could rent out the compound for the night and hang your work, no questions asked. Those days may be gone, but the message hasn’t changed. Funded in part by a grant from the Andy Warhol Foundation for Visual Arts, the compound’s exhibition and programming lineup remains decidedly committed to alternative infrastructure, delivering engaging exhibitions, publications and poetry readings with the same fervor that compelled Nicki Minaj to ask Miley, “What’s good?” Jessica Baran (formerly RFT’s art critic) directs the spaces, curating a mix of local and national artists. If you thought Gondo had gone under, think again.

From Each to Other, now on display at Beverly. | KEN WOOD Each to Other, an exhibition of prints by artist Ken Wood, is currently on view at Beverly, and Watch Out: This Might Hurt, drawings by Peter Pranschke, is at Fort Gondo. Both artists reside in St. Louis, but the similarity stops there. Step into Beverly to view the meditative coolness of Wood’s compositions, a collaboration with Pele Prints. Carefully framed and composed, the pieces combine the painterly vocabulary of abstract expression with the poetic sensibility of process-based artists. Richard Tuttle comes to mind — the resulting work is elusive yet

specific, a mirage with political inklings. Next door, Pranschke’s diaristic work is hung tremulously with bobby pins, the pages all different shapes and sizes. The work is simultaneously vulnerable and razor sharp: A story line from a hospital visit alongside detailed portraits rendered in the style of old-school comics. There is nothing twee or mannered about Pranschke; he is a maker through and through, and the show is a joy to behold. “I just want a certain level of detail,” the artist said in a recent interview with Baran. “I almost can’t resist.” riverfronttimes.com

The feeling is mutual. In an art world that feels, at times, to be concerned solely with its own noise and power, Fort Gondo embodies the bottom-up model, upending hierarchy and going with the gut. At the 2011 Hand in Glove Conference in Chicago, writer and activist Nato Thompson advised in the keynote lecture: “Don’t be a cow on parade.” He was warning the audience against the downfalls of mainstream art, and specifically the cow sculptures that occupy so many public spaces in urban areas. Take note of that. Gondo has been doing so for years. n

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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A MODERN AMERICAN PUB WITH A RUSTIC TOUCH PROVIDING A HIGH STANDARD FOR FOOD AND BEER WITH A DISTINCTIVE APPROACH ON CRAFT COCKTAILS

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THREEKINGSPUB.COM 32

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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CAFE

[REVIEW]

The Toast of the City Milque Toast Bar does simple things superbly Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Milque Toast Bar

2212 South Jefferson Avenue; 314-8330085. Mon.-Tues. 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thurs.-Fri. 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sat.-Sun. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. (Closed Wednesdays).

ou might be tempted to write off Milque Toast Bar as merely a Midwest outpost of an eyeroll-inducing San Francisco trend, the artisanal toast shop, or, as a restaurant manager in the City by the Bay put it, “the tip of the hipster spear.” You might even view the concept with contempt: the embodiment of our culture’s food fetishism, the one percent’s encroachment on humble breakfast fare. Five dollars for a piece of buttered toast “handcrafted” by a flannelclad fella? What have we become? Then you bite into Milque Toast Bar’s blue-cheese melt, and you get it. Man, do you get it. A halfinch layer of luscious blue cheese blankets a single piece of thickcut pumpernickel. There’s much more to the topping than the funky cheese, though. Louisiana hot sauce induces a mouth-puckering tang, and generous white pepper lingers as warm, back-palate heat. The concoction is softened by a flash in the oven, giving it a tawny, slightly caramelized color. For a humble cheese spread on toasted bread, it is shockingly complex. The same can be said about Milque Toast Bar. On the surface, owners Colleen Clawson, Rachel Moeller and Amanda Geimer have created a low-key neighborhood café -- the name is a play on both the simple, old-timey breakfast food and the early-twentieth-century comic strip character Casper Milquetoast, who was known for his meek and timid constitution.

Dishes from Milque Toast Bar: pizza bianca, broccoli-cheddar soup, crawfish-remoulade toast, milquetoast and blue-cheese toast. | MABEL SUEN Their tiny digs certainly bespeak humility. The vintage-decorated shotgun storefront has only four small tables fashioned into one large communal strip of seating with mismatched chairs and a handful of stools along a narrow ledge. The kitchen takes up the majority of the space, but even it isn’t a large set-up. There is no full-size oven, no range, and only a small, dorm-room-sized reach-in cooler (the owners use a slightly larger refrigerator on the back patio for overflow). All the cooking is done on two convection burners and two small pizza ovens that are barely more sophisticated than the set-up you’d take camping. Underneath this simplicity, however, is some serious culinary firepower. All three owners have worked in some of the city’s most notable kitchens. Two (Clawson and Moeller) even boast résumés that include time spent working under James Beard-recognized chefs — Clawson for Kevin Nashan at Sidney Street Café and Moeller for Dallas’ Stephan Pyles. Among

the three, they have roughly fifty years of restaurant experience, most of it in fine dining. Their background is what allows Milque Toast to transcend the toast bar trend to become a bona fide artisanal sandwich cafe — albeit one that only serves its wares open-faced. Clawson, whose McKinley Heights home looks directly into Milque Toast’s back yard, came up with the concept through free association. She and Moeller were chatting one day about what they could do with the space, but were less than enthusiastic about its overgrown yard. Clawson offhandedly mentioned they should get a goat, then started talking about goat milk and eventually mused about what they could pair with the milk. Food was only part of the equation, though. Clawson wanted to create a neighborhood gathering place — somewhere to grab a cup of coffee and a wholesome meal during the daytime. That vision is realized in the riverfronttimes.com

form of a thoughtful menu that runs the gamut between on-trend simple offerings and the more complex “Spiffy Toasts.” Cinnamon sugar toast, the beloved snack of everyone’s inner kindergartner, is an elevated taste of nostalgia. A thick slice of white bread is soaked with melted butter and encrusted with a cinnamon-sugar shell. The effect is like French toast without the egg, yet just as decadent. The restaurant’s namesake dish is Crock-Pot vanilla bread pudding, drizzled with maple syrup, dusted with cinnamon and garnished with whipped cream. This is a far more sophisticated preparation than oldfashioned milk toast — though, to borrow from M.F.K. Fisher, it is just as “warm, mild, soothing and full of innocent strength.” It’s no wonder that this dish was once thought of as restorative. Clawson’s six-year-old son is the inspiration behind the “Nutty S’Mores” toast, which explains the childlike joy this treat induces. The Nutella-slathered toast, topped with Continued on pg 34

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

IS YOUR MOUTH WATERING YET? Thank you, St. Louis! BEST BARBEQUE - Reader’s Choice 2015

5 AREA LOCATIONS

OLIVETTE • ST. CHARLES • WINGHAVEN • “44” VALLEY PARK • WASHINGTON

coming soon DOWNTOWN Visit SugarfireSmokehouse.com for more info

a, broccoli-cheddar soup, crawfish-remoulade toast, milquetoast and blue-cheese toast. | MABEL SUEN

Authentic MexicAn Food, Beer, And MArgAritAs!

2817 cherokee st. st. Louis, Mo 63118 314.762.0691 onco.coM www.tAqueriAeLBr 34

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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The “Malted Milk Ball,” “Jamaica Fizz,” and cashew milk with ginger-chai syrup. | MABEL SUEN

MILQUETOAST Continued from pg 33 brûléed marshmallows, has all of the backyard whimsy of the kind you make with graham crackers, minus the over-charred bitterness that comes from the unavoidably scorched sugar confections. Milque Toast’s version is proof that even campfire classics are best left to the professionals. The savory offerings are where the Milque Toast team shows its culinary chops. Exotic mushrooms and a herbed local goat cheese with truffles crown rustic wheat bread for a classic, earthy pairing. The “Pizza Bianco” begins with a small pizzette shell from Red Guitar Bread, simply topped with olive oil, herbs and Parmesan and fontina cheese. The taste occupies a glorious space somewhere between cheese garlic bread and a toasty Cheez-It. The crawfish toast, one of the many off-menu specials during my visits, reads like a Cajun-style seafood salad. The tiny crustaceans are liberally tossed in tarragonflecked remoulade and served atop pumpernickel for one of the restaurant’s heartier offerings. Another special item, the “Chicken and Gravy,” evokes Thanksgiving biscuits and gravy. Large hunks of pulled chicken, simmered in peppery thyme pan gravy, smother a thick slice of whole-grain bread. It’s like Grandma’s Sunday supper on toast. Milque Toast serves two soups each day, playfully named “George & Martha” after the children’s book

series. On my visits, I sampled a well-executed mushroom and kale that walked a perfect consistency between broth and cream. But the standout that day was the second soup, the sweet potato and chipotle. The pepper’s smoky heat — they weren’t shy about the spice level — balanced the root vegetable’s sweetness. Accents of cinnamon and nutmeg rounded out the seasoning for an overall warming effect. As its name suggests, toast is only part of Milque Toast’s story. The restaurant offers local milk as well as housemade cashew, coconut and almond milks served on their own or as bases for a series of rotating drink specials. The strawberry-shortcake fizz, made from housemade strawberry syrup, local cream and seltzer, is a drinkable dessert straight out of an old-fashioned soda fountain. The taste of the season, however, is the coconut eggnog, or “Christmas in Hawaii.” The drink is dairy-free — until you add a mountain of luxurious, freshly whipped cream to the top at Geimer’s urging. That’s Milque Toast — a place you go into for a simple slice of buttered bread but walk out dazzled by everything that gets piled on top. Pay no attention to the name. There is nothing timid about this gem. n

Milque Toast Bar

Blue cheese melt .......................... $8.95 “Pizza Bianco” .............................. $5.95 ”Milquetoast” (large) ................... $3.95

UB R E S TA U R A N T & P

NEW SEASONAL BREWS ON TAP KALDI’S COFFEE BROWN & vanilla bourbon porter

418 S FLORISSANT RD. FERGUSON, MO | (314) 254-7359 riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SHORT ORDERS

[ C H E F C H AT ]

[FIRST LOOK]

Mike Johnson on His Best Worst Idea Ever — Sugarfire Smokehouse

LUCKYS’ RESTAURANT & LOUNGE NOW OPEN IN CARONDELET Written by

JOHNNY FUGITT

Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

few days before the grand opening of the first Sugarfire Smokehouse (multiple locations including: 9200 Olive Boulevard, Olivette; 314-997-2301), Mike Johnson called his investors with some bad news: He was certain that this was the worst restaurant idea he’d ever had. “I have had some terrible restaurant ideas,” Johnson laughs. “But I looked at the location, and the fact that there was no parking lot, and I just thought that this was the worst idea I’d ever had in my life. I just thought to myself, ‘Man, you are screwed.’” Four years later, Johnson’s terrible idea has turned into one of the top barbecue spots in the city, garnering rave reviews, national accolades and awards for everything from its seafood to bacon. Considering Johnson’s culinary pedigree, this should come as no surprise. After graduating high school, he watched his friends head off to college while he had other plans. “I told my dad I wanted to be a chef in New Orleans,” Johnson recalls. “That was in 1989 — before the Food Network and all of that. The only chef my dad knew of was Jack Tripper from Three’s Company, but he had some business in New Orleans and let me pursue it.”

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Sugarfire pitmaster Mike Johnson. | COURTESY GREEN OLIVE MEDIA Johnson’s father happened to know of an up-and-coming chef who needed help with a new restaurant he was opening in New Orleans, and he asked the younger Johnson if he wanted him to put them in touch. It just so happened that the young chef he was speaking of was Emeril Lagasse. “I got really lucky because I got in with Emeril right when he was starting out,” Johnson explains. “I worked for him for three years, doing everything for him at the restaurant. Working there was unbelievable — we would have all of these famous chefs come in and cook all of the time. Julia Child would be there. It was incredible.” Through Lagasse, Johnson met revered chef Charlie Trotter, and worked at his namesake Chicago institution before heading to France to train at Le Buisson Ardent in Paris. Upon his return to St. Louis, Johnson made a name for himself as a prolific chef and restaurateur, opening a string of successful restaurants including Momo’s, BARcelona and Roxane. In the midst of running Maplewood hotspot Boogaloo, however, he hit a wall. “I was at a really low point

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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then,” Johnson says. “I was so burned out on doing what I had been doing. I was depressed and didn’t know what I was going to do. At Boogaloo, I had a smoker and had been playing around with that, and eventually, I decided to go in that direction.” Johnson heard about that the former Dickey’s Barbecue Pit location in Olivette was in need of a new tenant. “I got so lucky,” Johnson admits. “The people who owned the building told me that if I paid the last three months of rent, I could have all of their stuff.” It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. “Sometimes in the restaurant business you have to get lucky, and I got lucky as hell.” Johnson took a break from manning the pit at Sugarfire to share his thoughts on the St. Louis dining scene, what is never allowed in his kitchen and his dream of becoming a professional Yelper. What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did? That before Sugarfire and the other restaurants, I worked for many famous chefs including Charlie Trotter, Emeril Lagasse and Joachim Splichal. I also worked in Continued on pg 38 France.

efore establishing Luckys’ Restaurant & Lounge (7529 Michigan Avenue; 314-8333780), the new bar and grill in the Carondelet neighborhood, Brandon Martignoni had opened five restaurants — including another iteration of Luckys’ in St. Peters. But nothing prepared him for this one. “I promise I’ll never let this place go,” Martignoni says. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” The St. Peters location, which opened in 2010, was originally called Mr. Lucky’s. But the “Mr.” was dropped after they received notice from the friendly lawyers of Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, home of Mr. Lucky’s 24-7 Las Vegas Diner. Wanting to open a second location, Martignoni and his wife, Brittney, considered the entire metro area before a real estate agent friend found a recently vacated space in Carondelet, which previously held Schoemehl’s South Side Grill. The Martignonis renovated the space for about four weeks, but the liquor license process kept the front doors closed for five months — even though the space had previously been a bar and had a liquor license. (Unlike the St. Peters location, Luckys’ in Carondelet is non-smoking. City regulations ban smoking and most exemptions will be phased out this January, while the county still allows it.) The space still has the look and feel of an old-school St. Louis bar. The tables are high tops, the bar is the focal point of the room, Golden Tee is in the corner and neon lights burrow select brands into the visitor’s subconscious. It’s the kind of place where bikers have Busch for lunch and Natural Light comes in a bottle. Continued on pg 38

ST. LOUIS’ ULTIMATE SPORTS BAR Exceptional food, craft beers & spirits

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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MIKE JOHNSON Continued from pg 36 THE GOOSE THAT LAID

THE GOLDEN PINT 8-10 Pints Awarded Daily Throughout December

[FIRST LOOK]

LUCKYS’ RESTAURANT & LOUNGE NOW OPEN IN CARONDELET 1201 Strassner Dr, Brentwood, MO 63144 314.644.2772 • twinoakwoodfired.com Written by

JOHNNY FUGITT

efore establishing Luckys’ Restaurant & Lounge (7529 Michigan Avenue; 314-8333780), , the new bar and grill in the Fun Food, Happy People Carondelet neighborhood, BranGreat Drinks! don Martignoni had opened five restaurants — including another iteration of Luckys’ in St. Peters. But nothing prepared him for this one. “I promise I’ll never let this Valid at Washington place go,” Martignoni says.Ave. “Itlocation was only the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” 1901 Washington Ave, 106 main st. • edwardsville, ilThe St. Peters location, which 63103originally opened St. in Louis, 2010,MOwas 618.307.4830 (314) 241-1557 www.clevelandheath.comcalled Mr. Lucky’s. But the “Mr.” was dropped after they received notice from the friendly lawyers of Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, 6665 Delmar Blvd #100a, home of Mr. Lucky’s 24-7314.925.8452 Las VeSt. Louis, MO 63130 SeoulQSTL.com gas Diner. Wanting to open a second location, Martignoni and his wife, Brittney, considered the entire metro area before a real estate agent friend found a recently vacated space in Carondelet, which previously held Schoemehl’s South Side Grill. The Martignonis renovated the space for about four weeks, but the liquor license process kept the front doors closed for five months — even though the space had previously been a bar and had a liquor license. (Unlike the St. Peters location, Luckys’ in Carondelet is non-smoking. City regulations ban smoking and most exemptions will be phased out this January, while the county still allows it.) The space still has the look and feel of an old-school St. Louis bar. The tables are high tops, the bar is the focal point of the room, Golden Tee is in the corner and neon lights burrow select brands into the visitor’s subconscious. It’s the kind of place where bikers have Busch for lunch and Natural Light comes in a bottle.

Buy one lunch entree get $3 off Second

Continued on pg 38

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year? Local restaurant collaborations. What daily ritual is nonnegotiable for you? Overseeing the specials and social media before we open. Who is your St. Louis food crush? Chef Christina Fitzgerald [Seven Stones Wine Garden and a competitor on Food Network Star]. Who’s the one person to watch right now in the St. Louis dining scene? Katie Lee Collier of Katie’s Pizza & Pasta Osteria.

Which ingredient is most representative of your personality? Bacon. If you weren’t working in the restaurant business, what would you be doing? A professional Yelper. Name an ingredient never allowed in your kitchen. Liquid smoke. What is your after-work hangout? The Silver Ballroom. What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure? Nutella and red wine. What would be your last meal on earth? Hospital food or something that had a chicken bone in it. n

LUCKYS’ Continued from pg 36

Luckys’ “Black and Bleu” burger. | JOHNNY FUGITT

The menu covers a lot of ground and includes everything from expected bar foods to country favorites like chicken-fried steak, fried catfish and fried chicken — are you sensing a theme? If beer makes you hungry for wings, cheese sticks, spinach artichoke dip or pretzels, the long list of appetizers at Luckys’ has it covered. This location has a smaller kitchen so the menu is pared down, but it’s still much too large for the indecisive. And despite Luckys’ classic bar feel, “Our goal down here is to be a restaurant until 9 p.m.,” says Brittney Martignoni. The Martignonis want

make downstairs a family-friendly dining destination, while the newly built bar upstairs will serve as an after-work watering hole. The 21-andup-only upstairs includes pool tables and darts in addition to, yes, another Golden Tee video game. With karaoke on Tuesdays, trivia on Wednesdays, Bar Olympics on Thursdays, acoustic sets on Fridays and karaoke once again on Saturday nights, there is almost always something going on upstairs. And when the weather gets nice again, look forward to an outdoor beer garden as well. n

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DINING GUIDE

The Dining Guide lists only restaurants recommended by RFT food critics. The print listings below rotate regularly, as space allows. Our complete Dining Guide is available online; view menus and search local restaurants by name or neighborhood.

DID YOU KNOW? Many guests don’t realize that P.F. Chang’s has a

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Price Guide (based on a three-course meal for one, excluding tax, tip and beverages): $ up to $15 per person $$ $15 - $25 $$$ $25 - $40 $$$$ more than $40

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Housemade chicken tamales from Fort Taco. | MABEL SUEN [ M I D S T. L O U I S C O U N T Y ]

Fort Taco

8106 Manchester Road, Brentwood, 314-647-2391 Owner Gabriel Patino and company transformed the former Brentwood Rally’s into Fort Taco, a homage to the food they grew up on. The restaurant calls itself traditional, but it’s not exactly Mexican. Patino uses the recipes of his great-grandparents, who brought their native cuisine with them when they emigrated to Fort Madison, Iowa. Fort Taco’s menu consists of just three main items. Traditional soft-shell tacos are its signature; the large, puffy, deep-fried flour shells are stuffed with either beef or chicken and simply dressed are a feast in themselves. Enchiladas — vegetarian, beef or chicken — covered in a rich, ancho-chile-based sauce are equally delicious, and the handmade tamales are as authentic as anything you’d find on Cherokee Street. Fort Taco is drive-through only, and thankfully the long line moves quickly — the friendly staff understand the urgency of getting this delicious food in their patrons’ hands as fast as possible. $

Small Batch Whiskey & Fare 3001 Locust Street; 314-380-2040

Restaurateur David Bailey takes the whiskey-bar trend in an unexpected direction with his vegetarian eatery, Small Batch. Bailey doesn’t bill the place as a crunchy vegetarian spot; instead, he hopes that diners will enjoy the vegetable-focused concept so much that they fail to miss the meat. The carbonara pasta, made with housemade linguine, replaces the richness of bacon with smoked mushrooms. Even the most die-hard carnivore will be satisfied by the “burger,” a greasy-spoonstyle corn and black bean patty topped with creamy guacamole, Chihuahua cheese, and Bailey’s signature “Rooster” sauce (tangy mayonnaise). Small Batch’s bourbon selection and creative cocktails are also impressive. The “Smokeysweet,” a blend of smoked cherries, rye and rhubarb, tastes like drinking punch by a campfire. For a taste of summer in a glass, the “Rickey” is a bright concoction of elderflower liquor, grapefruit, lime and white corn whiskey. The gorgeous, vintage setting provides an ideal spot to indulge in some Prohibition-era-style drinking. $-$$

Fozzie’s Sandwich Emporium Southern 1170 S. Big Bend Boulevard, Richmond Heights; 314-932-5414 Though a small restaurant, Fozzie’s follows the “more is more” principle. There are twenty sandwiches, almost all of them overstuffed, as well as burgers, hot dogs and gyros (and salads, appetizer dips and milkshakes, too). There is the “B.A.B.T.L.” (bacon and bacon, lettuce and tomato) with a half-pound of bacon, and the awesome “Big Bend Mafia,” with Italian-seasoned beef and salsiccia. The signature dish might be the “Juicy Lucy,” a Minneapolis-St. Paul specialty that consists of a cheeseburger with the cheese stuffed inside the patty. The salads, featuring with vegetables from the restaurant’s own garden, are very good. $ [MIDTOWN]

Triumph Grill

3419 Olive Street; 314-446-1801. Another addition to midtown’s suddenly teeming restaurant scene, the Triumph Grill is attached to the Moto Museum and named for the classic motorcycle. The lengthy menu includes many of the dishes that spring to mind when you call a restaurant a “grill” — wings, calamari and onion rings; nine different salads and more than a dozen sandwiches; steaks, pork chops, chicken breasts and salmon — but with occasional, unexpected touches from the cuisines of Japan, India and the American southwest. The décor is contemporary-art gallery. When the place is crowded, though, the hubbub will make you think of a passing fleet of Harleys. $$-$$$

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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3108 Olive Street; 314-531-4668 What do you get when Pappy’s pitmaster Mike Emerson and king of comfort food Rick Lewis team up? Only the best thing that’s happened to Southern cuisine in St. Louis since, well, ever. Their joint venture, Southern, is one part Nashville-style hot chicken shack and one part deep-South-influenced butcher shop. Southern serves hearty sandwiches, like its fried green tomato BLT called “The Dirty South,” made with bacon so thick it could be confused with a ham steak. The hot chicken is this fast-casual restaurant’s specialty, though, and they do it up just like the legends in Nashville -- juicy meat, crispy skin and a generous saucing of hot chili oil after it comes out of the fryer. Heat levels range from mild to melt-your-face-off “Clucking Hot,” though for those who shy away from spice, un-sauced original or an Asian-style General Tso version are available. Wear your stretchy pants: The only way to cool down your mouth is with the housemade vanilla pudding. $$

The Dark Room

615 N. Grand Boulevard; 314-531-3416. Shutterbugs and winos alike will delight in Grand Center’s Dark Room. Part art gallery and part bar, the Dark Room features monthly photography exhibits curated by the International Photography Hall of Fame alongside an artisan wine program highlighting a substantial selection by the glass or bottle. The minimal space features decorative vintage film equipment and clean, contemporary design.

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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MUSIC The Death of Swagg Huncho Loyalty, hip-hop and the north-county nightmare Written by

BY BEN WESTHOFF

he Ferguson rapper known as Swagg Huncho was killed on Sunday, December 13, shot dead in a St. Louis yard in the JeffVanderLou neighborhood. He was a member of the group 3 Problems, the most vital hip-hop act in St. Louis. “I was looking for him all yesterday,” his groupmate Lil Tay said last Monday. “We called all the jails, and we finally called the morgue.” Swagg’s real name was James Johnson Jr. He wouldn’t tell me it at first — so deep was his paranoia, the same one that caused him to drive around in rental cars so people wouldn’t recognize him in the streets. He had reason to be fearful. One of his best friends, Eugene Stubblefield, was killed in January, his body dumped at an abandoned loading dock. Swagg’s murder also comes on the heels of the September killing of City Stylez, another promising local rapper, who was a bit older and a mentor to 3 Problems. City Stylez left behind five kids and a mountain of bills for his mother. About the only way to escape death for this distressed demographic, it seems, is through prison, where you’ll find the third member of 3 Problems. His name is Terrell “Rello” Brown Jr., and he’s serving ten years for second-degree murder. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s account of Swagg’s death noted he’s “at least the 186th murder in St. Louis so far this year.” These deaths are so common they’re not even statistics; they’re approximate statistics. But there was nothing anonymous about Swagg. He was strikingly attractive, exuding a bad-

James Johnson Jr., a.k.a. Swagg Huncho. | BEN WESTHOFF boy charisma — the kind of guy you whose good graces you wanted to be in. He had a star quality, and 3 Problems had real momentum, with hundreds of thousands of YouTube views for many of its videos. The group’s most recent mixtape, A Problem Story, was more like a polished debut, and it made my top five albums of this year. Its followup, Free Rello, was scheduled to come out on Swagg’s nineteenth birthday — his golden birthday, in fact: December 19. Swagg wasn’t the great musical talent in 3 Problems — that was Lil Tay, who lived and breathed hiphop. But Swagg was the leader of the group, the one who guided interviews and helped craft its image. (He also wrote many of the lyrics.) He had lots of fans. People asked him and Lil Tay to take pictures at the Michael Brown protests last year. Girls were after him, as were many others with sketchy intentions, convinced his relative local fame meant he had money and favors to dispense. Across his right forearm his tat-

too read “Loyalty First,” and he tried to stick with those he knew, both for personal safety and because of his deep love for his friends and family, which often amounted to one and the same. He had two young daughters. His groupmates were his first cousins (their mothers are sisters in their thirties), and Stubblefield’s mom was Swagg’s mother’s best friend. I spoke with Swagg and Lil Tay in February at the loading dock where Stubblefield’s body was found. They called their fallen friend a “brother” and, though he wasn’t actually in the group, a “Problem,” which was a compliment. Each man displayed tattoos to honor him across their jugulars, and at one point Swagg broke out of the conversation and into a profane rhyme about trust. The compelling yet sinister rap hinted both at his talent and his darkness. But he could be funny and warm, too. He invited me to smoke weed shortly after we first met, after we had lunch at the restaurant of his choice. (Hooters — I declined.) At riverfronttimes.com

the Mel Carnahan Court House downtown for Rello’s sentencing, he slipped his hand up inside a vending machine to steal a bag of Red Hot Riplets for his cousin. Certainly, he didn’t always live within the law. He was arrested in late October, charged with drug possession and resisting arrest. And he was always very clear to emphasize just how real the group’s songs were. But though the tracks played up the group’s street bona fides and ruthlessness, they also portrayed struggling kids trapped in a horrible situation. As their characters explain on “Come Around,” they rob folks not because they get a thrill, but because they’re broke. They slang dope because no one’s hiring. It was easy to imagine that, with the group’s burgeoning fame, Swagg would be able to transition into an above-board life. After I profiled them in Rolling Stone, the guys got some good clips, and were making decent money doing guest verses on tracks from other local rappers. They put on shows, filmed videos and their fan base was blooming. But the idea that you can leave your past behind is probably a fantasy. I don’t pretend to know what Swagg was doing late at night, running around the city. And there may be those who knew him as a menace rather than a target. But ultimately he is like those approximately 186 others — a victim. Of poverty, of hopelessness, of a reckless gun-control policy, of nobody giving a fuck. He did his best to survive within the system he was born into. Any idiot commenters who believe he got what he deserved should realize that he just wanted what we all want: a little money in his pockets, a little shine. He showed off his guns because he didn’t want to be attacked. Thankfully he left behind a body of work. With a little exploration, it will tell you not just his story, but help you better understand an entire generation of young black men from north St. Louis County. That’s his legacy, and it’s more than most of us accomplish by our nineteenth birthdays. As of press time, there have been no arrests made in the killing of Swagg Huncho, nor in the January murder of his friend Eugene Stubblefield. n

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

B-SIDES

Bigger and Muddier Big Muddy Records looks to the future while celebrating its ten-year past Written by

NICK HORN Big Muddy Records 10th Anniversary & Holiday Bash

5 p.m. Sunday, December 27. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $7. 314773-3363.

ack in 2005, a then-eighteenyear-old Chris Baricevic began laying the groundwork for what would become one of the city’s best-known record labels, Big Muddy Records. “I was coming off of a semester in college in New Orleans and gigging around south city St. Louis in the summertime with my band, Johnny O & the Jerks, and we met the Vultures,” Baricevic recalls. “We were kind of the only two bands that were our age — being around eighteen — playing that kind of music: rock & roll with a nod to the ’50s and ’60s rockabilly and garage-rock influences.” Though Baricevic hadn’t yet formalized the Big Muddy label, the core group of musicians who would come to define its sound had already started to coalesce. Alongside Baricevic on drums in Johnny O & the Jerks was now-Hobosexuals bassist Brian Heffernan and singer/ guitarist John Randall, currently the frontman of one of Big Muddy’s longest-running acts, the Hooten Hallers. The Vultures consisted of Ashley Hohman (Doomtown, Self Help, Veil) alongside multi-instrumentalist Ryan Koenig and bassist Joey Glynn. (The latter two have since played and recorded prolifically both inside and outside of the label, most notably with the Rum Drum Ramblers and former Big Muddy artist Pokey LaFarge.) “We all became friends and we very quickly realized that we had something special, that we had a little family that was growing,” Bar-

RIVERFRONT TIMES

Mike Leahy and Chris Baricevic. | ROBERT ROHE icevic says — a sentiment echoed by Big Muddy artists Mat Wilson (Rum Drum Ramblers, Loot Rock Gang), Jack Grelle and Kellie Everett (Southwest Watson Sweethearts). “We all liked to play music together and fed off of each other, and we had something very special to offer in that regard. It grew out of the music and it grew out of the camaraderie. We were spending a lot of time together — as much as we could — and that summer I moved into St. Louis city proper and decided that, instead of going back to New Orleans, I would stay here and start this record label.” But the familial nature of Big Muddy wasn’t the only common theme. Baricevic, Wilson, Grelle and Everett all mention the 2013 death of St. Louis photographer and songwriter Bob Reuter as a sort of turning point for the label, one that brought the group closer than it had ever been. “It’s kind of been a different chapter since we lost Bob,” says Grelle. “I think Big Muddy’s kind of getting its head back on right now, and having more of a clear focus.” Everett seconds that optimism, going so far as to say that “Big Muddy

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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is in the midst of a renaissance.” One element of the label’s “renaissance” is a roster that has grown substantially to include new acts such as the Loot Rock Gang, Tortuga and the Southwest Watson Sweethearts. Baricevic insists, though, that Big Muddy still bases its growth on the same sort of personal relationships responsible for its genesis. “We don’t accept new acts on a submission basis,” he explains. “The current roster kind of builds itself; when it’s time to add a new band, we all know.” Wilson answers nearly identically. “Every project’s been like that,” he says. “It’s been a small rumbling that turns into something that we realize needs to be recorded.” Those new acts, as well as a few old ones, will be showcased Sunday at Off Broadway for Big Muddy’s Tenth Anniversary & Holiday Bash. The evening will kick off with the Southwest Watson Sweethearts, followed by Bob Reuter’s Alley Ghost, the Loot Rock Gang, Tortuga, the Rum Drum Ramblers, Jack Grelle and the Hobosexuals, as well as a one-time-only performance by the Strange Places, a group Baricevic put together to perform some of

his own material. In addition to the music, the event will feature food from new south-city favorite Gooseberries. Asked what Big Muddy has in store in the coming year, Everett says, “We’re currently working on a business plan to entice investors so we can reissue the Big Muddy Records back catalog,” much of which, she says, was destroyed in a flood. Grelle agrees with Everett, adding that, “the first one we have — and I believe we just officially got the rights to — is Bob Reuter’s old band the Dinosaurs, from the late ’70s.” When the subject of Big Muddy’s future is presented to Baricevic, he lays out more expansive — if vague — intentions. “I see something a little bit more…fortified. I see a foundation that’s a little more airtight in terms of business infrastructure, in terms of having an audience that we have a direct line with, in terms of struggling less financially,” he says. But his chief priorities remain the same. He cites having more energy to do more important things as his main goal: “Like make music and be a part of the community.” n

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

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HOMESPUN

SEABY & THE CHRISTMAS COOKIES All I Want for Christmas Is Brew seabyandtherules.bandcamp.com

hen Seaby Bess was attending community college in Bloomington-Normal, Illinois, he frequented a mom-andpop pizza place across from campus. The proprietors, in keeping with the Italian tone of the restaurant, played nothing but crooners like Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. The owners stuck with the theme through the holidays, and it was then that Bess was exposed to Lou Monte’s truly execrable “Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey,” a song that’s less a Christmas carol and more a braying, hee-haw-ing vessel of holiday insanity. The novelty song is one of eleven Christmas-themed songs (mostly covers with a few originals) that Bess has collected for All I Want for Christmas Is Brew under the aegis of Seaby & the Christmas Cookies. It’s a lo-fi collection of one-off bedroom synth-pop and low-budget white-boy rap, delivered with a major smirk but quite a bit of affection for the season and its songs. “I love that song!” Bess says of “Dominick” when asked why — sweet baby Jesus, why? — he included it in his holiday release. “Around the holiday it came on and I went nuts on how stupid it is. It’s now a family staple. I love the ridiculous premise, as if Santa’s reindeer have trouble with Italy’s terrain.” On his version, Bess uses an old Casio SK-1 keyboard to provide the sped-up beat and auto-arpeggios, making the track sound not unlike Muzak in-store fare. Bess’ baritone provides the lead and harmony vocals (along with the requisite hee-haws). As a guitarist with a burgeoning fascination with synthesizers, Bess uses some ’80s era hardware to create a bare-bones electro palette for these songs. It’s up to Bess to sell the seasonal offerings with his low-slung vocals, which hit somewhere in the spectrum containing Calvin Johnson, Stephin Merritt and They Might Be

Giants’ John Linnell. For Bess, who usually records as Seaby & the Rules, this Christmas collection isn’t even his first holiday outing — Seaby & the Hallo-Weeners released a six-song EP of spooky, monstrous covers this fall. But Christmas music holds a

special sway over Bess — particularly novelty songs that show the fun, less sanctimonious side of the season. “I’ve always been obsessed with Christmas music,” he says. “I’ve worked in retail, so I have to listen to it for months on end. I like the novelty element to a lot of the songs like ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer’ and ‘I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.’ I’m not too into the jazzy, cheesy side of Christmas music.” That preference is borne out in song choice and production — both “Santa’s Too Fat for the Hula Hoop,” by the Pixies with Thurl Ravenscroft, and “The Hat I Got for Christmas Is Too Big,” featuring Mel Blanc’s Speedy Gonzalez, get remade here. The songs are the equivalent of Saturday morning cartoons — simple premise, bubblegum sweetness — and they have the added bonus of highlighting cultural

trends (Hula-Hoops — you know, for kids!) and cultural insensitivities (that sombrero’d mouse didn’t win Warner Bros. cartoons a lot of Latino fans). Like any pop song, Christmas songs often come with curious date-stamps, and Bess curates a fascinating selection here. He doesn’t avoid more standard fare, either: He opens the collection with a modern classic, his take on the Ramones’ “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)” and later tackles the Ramones’ historical antecedent, Darlene Love’s deathless “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” later in the set. Bess even approximates “Teenage” Steve Douglas’ sax solo on his tiny keyboard. Likewise, he doesn’t shy away from traditional carols, though he approaches them with varying degrees of puerile humor. “Carol of the Balls” is only jokey in title as it offers a decent mash-up of “Carol of the Bells” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” on alternatingly squelchy and swooping synths. His X-rated take on the birth of Christ in “Silent Night” is something else altogether. Credited to his rap alter egos the Pizza Boys, Bess pitches his voice to create two new, vulgar vocalists. This is a pretty far cry from the virgin birth you heard in Sunday school delivered via, according to Bess, “bad white-guy rapping on purpose.” “I wanted to take something that was supposed to be untouchable,” says Bess. “It’s such a pure idea that I wanted to parody it in a way that no one would like.” He claims rapper Too Short as an inspiration as well as the Ying Yang Twins, whose crunktackular “Deck Da Club” Bess cites as one of his favorite Christmas songs. So, it’s probably clear by now that All I Want for Christmas Is Brew won’t be replacing Nat “King” Cole or Vince Guaraldi on your holiday hi-fi anytime soon, and it’s not intended to. But through all the irreverence, Bess seeks to inject humor and levity back into the holiday canon. “It’s pure entertainment value,” says Bess. “I don’t like when people take Christmas music too seriously; it’s supposed to be fun.” –Christian Schaeffer

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RFT Holiday Spirits

fabulous time was had by all at RFTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Holiday Spirits fĂŞte on Thursday, December 17. Held at Third Degree Glass Factory, the party of the season included a live band, food, glass art and, of course, unlimited winter-themed cocktails. Photographer Micah Usher captured the festivities. Head over to photos.riverfronttimes.com to take in the rest of the merriment.

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THURSDAY 1/28

SATURDAY 1/30

UPCOMING SHOWS 2.4 BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS 2.9 KEYS N KRATES 2.10 & 2.11 JIM JEFFERIES 2.12 STS9 2.13 MIKE STUD 2.17 GAELIC STORM 2.18 LOTUS 2.21 BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE 2.23 DROPKICK MURPHYS 2.24 HOODIE ALLEN 2.25 DARK STAR ORCHESTRA 2.26 & 2.27 CELEBRATION DAY: A TRIBUTE TO LED ZEPPELIN 2.28 GARY CLARK JR. 2.29 LOGIC

3.4 METRIC 3.6 GEORGE THOROGOOD & THE DESTROYERS 3.8 BRYSON TILLER 3.13 MELANIE MARTINEZ 3.15 X AMBASSADORS 3.24 EXCISION 4.9 YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND 4.10 UNDEROATH 4.15 CHARLES KELLEY 4.16 JIM NORTON 4.22 ANDREW BIRD 5.3 ANIMAL COLLECTIVE 6.8 LEON BRIDGES 6.25 BLUE OCTOBER

visit us online for complete show information facebook.com/ThePageantSTL

@ThePageantSTL

thepageantstl.tumblr.com

thepageant.com // 6161 delmar blvd. / St. Louis, MO 63112 // 314.726.6161

riverfronttimes.com

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

OUT EVERY NIGHT

W E D N E S D AY BOB “BUMBLE BEE” KAMOSKE: 8 p.m. Beale on

Berdella, Slave Cable 9 p.m., $7. The Heavy

BLACKWATER ‘64 HOLIDAY SHOW: w/ Jailbox,

LUEY V & FRIENDS: 8 p.m., $5-$10. Fubar, 3108

Anchor, 5226 Gravois Ave., St. Louis, 314-352-

Holy Posers 8 p.m., $7. Blueberry Hill, 6504

Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

5226.

Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. EL MONSTERO: Dec. 23, 7 p.m.; Dec. 25, 7

M O N D AY

p.m.; Dec. 26, 7 p.m.; 7 p.m., $27.50-$50. The

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA: 3 & 7:30 p.m.,

AIMING FOR AVERAGE: 6 p.m., $7. The Demo,

Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-

TBA. Scottrade Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St.

4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-

726-6161.

Louis, 314-241-1888.

EL MONSTERO: 7 p.m.; Dec. 25, 7 p.m.; Dec. 26, 7

5532.

GOOD 4 THE SOUL: Dec. 26, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.;

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA: 3 & 7:30 p.m.,

p.m.; Dec. 27, 7 p.m., $27.50-$50. The Pageant,

BIG MUDDY RECORDS 10TH ANNIVERSARY

7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25. Ferring Jazz Bistro,

TBA. Scottrade Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St.

6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

BASH: w/ Jack Grelle, the Strange Places, Rum

3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-

Louis, 314-241-1888.

JAZZ ST. LOUIS BIG BAND: performing Ellington’s

Drum Ramblers, the Griddle Kids, Tortuga,

6000.

JOE FLETCHER: w/ Samuel Gregg 8 p.m., $10.

“The Nutcracker Suite” 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25.

the Loot Rock Gang, Bob Reuter’s Alley Ghost,

GOOD 4 THE SOUL: Dec. 26, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.;

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-

Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St.

the Southwest Watson Sweethearts 5 p.m.,

7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25. Ferring Jazz Bistro,

773-3363.

Louis, 314-571-6000.

$7. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis,

3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-

LOOPRAT: w/ Just Rich, Armani 8 p.m., $7-$10.

JAZZ ST. LOUIS BIG BAND: performing Ellington’s

314-773-3363.

6000.

The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis,

Broadway, 701 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-6217880.

S U N D AY

COURTNIE: 8 p.m., $7. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-5532.

“The Nutcracker Suite” 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25.

314-833-5532.

Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St.

PAIGE LESLIE: w/ Middle Child 8 p.m., $8-$10.

Louis, 314-571-6000.

Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University

THE PETE AYRES BAND CHRISTMAS SHOW: w/

City, 314-727-4444.

Naked Rock Fight, Kenny DeShields 7 p.m.,

SOULARD BLUES BAND: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway

$10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis,

Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-

314-773-3363. THE PETER AYRES BAND CHRISTMAS SHOW: 8

621-8811.

[CRITIC’S PICK]

T U E S D AY

p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363. THE CHRISTMAS EVENT: PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE:

I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE: w/ Arcane Haven,

w/ Fresh Heir, Divine Hours, Nick Savage & the

the Greater Good, Ascension of Akari, Our Last

Outliers, St. Joseph’s Academy, the People’s Key

Words 6 p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St,

7 p.m., $10. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St.

St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

Louis, 314-588-0505.

JAMAICA LIVE TUESDAYS: w/ Ital K, Mr. Roots, DJ Witz, $5/$10. Elmo’s Love Lounge, 7828 Olive

F R I D AY

Blvd, University City, 314-282-5561.

EL MONSTERO: Dec. 23, 7 p.m.; 7 p.m.; Dec. 26, 7 p.m.; Dec. 27, 7 p.m., $27.50-$50. The Pageant,

THIS JUST IN

6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

S AT U R D AY

7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN: W/ Broadside, Marina

BIASED STL SHOWCASE & ZINE RELEASE: w/ New

City, Life On Broadway, This Is Our Dance,

Lives, Bike Path, Yonsei, Sleeping Cranes, Oak-

Mon., Jan. 18, 6 p.m., $15-$17. Fubar, 3108

wood Estate, I Actually 7 p.m., $7. The Demo,

Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-5532.

Beastie Boys.

EL MONSTERO: Dec. 23, 7 p.m.; Dec. 25, 7 p.m.; 7 p.m.; Dec. 27, 7 p.m., $27.50-$50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. FULGORA: 8 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. GOOD 4 THE SOUL: 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Dec. 27, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000. GOOD 4 THE SOUL: 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Dec. 27, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $25. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000. KILBORN ALLEY BAND: 10 p.m., $5. BB’s Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314436-5222. POSSE IN EFFECT: A TRIBUTE TO THE BEASTIE BOYS: 8 p.m., $10-$12. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929. SIX BY SILVER: 8 p.m., $10. Cicero’s, 6691 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-862-0009. THOR AXE: w/ Bug Chaser, Dracla 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314773-3363.

POSSE IN EFFECT: A TRIBUTE TO THE BEASTIE BOYS 8 p.m. Saturday, December 26. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Avenue. $10$12. 314-833-3929.

The annual touring-act seasonal lull reaches its climax this holiday week, which is OK in our book — it gives St. Louis’ ever-talented local artists an extra chance to shine. In keeping with this city’s love of cover shows (see: El Monstero, Street Fighting Band), two of our Critic’s Picks this week are of the tribute-band variety. This one is a doozy. Local promoter Dwight Carter brought together a veritable supergroup to tackle the songs of New York’s illest:

THE TORY STARBUCK PROJECT: w/ Eric Hall,

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

Scottie Rivers and Jason Karr (12 to 6 Movement, Death & Taxes) will be joined by Bob Cannella (formerly of Fat Trash) to play the act’s MCs, with drummer Brian Sullivan (Redheaded Strangers), guitarist Matt Sawicki (Suburban Pro Studios), bassist Drew Franklin (Big Brother Thunder and the MasterBlasters) and DJ Mahf rounding out the act. Don’t Miss Out: MCA’s 2012 death marked the end of the Beasties’ career as well. Save for any unlikely future hologram situation, you almost certainly not get a chance to see the group perform live ever again. A tribute show, handled with great care, could well be the next best thing. –Daniel Hill

AC/DC: Sat., Feb. 20, 7 p.m., $75-$139.50. Scottrade Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888. BLACK BREATH: W/ Theories, Tue., Feb. 9, 8 p.m., $12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-5532. BLUE OCTOBER: Sat., June 25, 8 p.m., $27.50$32.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. C2 AND THE BROTHERS REED: Fri., Jan. 15, 9 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-5532. CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO: Fri., March 18, 8 p.m., $15-$23. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. CAVO: $1.05. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929. CHARLES KELLEY: Fri., April 15, 7 p.m., TBA. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-7266161. CHILDREN OF BODOM: W/ Havok, Mon., Feb. 15, 8 p.m., $20-$22. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-3929. CHRIS BANDI: Thu., Feb. 25, 8 p.m., $10. Off

Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-

289-9050.

3363.

GRANT LEE PHILLIPS: W/ Steve Poltz, Heather

A DARK ORBIT: W/ Alaya, Quaere Verum, Nolia,

Maloney, Tue., Feb. 16, 7 p.m., $15-$18. Old Rock

Sat., Jan. 30, 7 p.m., $8-$10. The Demo, 4191

House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-5532.

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS: W/ Mest, the Ataris,

DAVINA & THE VAGABONDS: Wed., Feb. 10, 8 p.m.,

Handguns, London Falling, Fri., March 4, 6 p.m.,

$10-$12. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St.

$20. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St.

Louis, 314-588-0505.

Louis, 314-833-3929.

DEAD SOLDIERS: W/ the Maness Brothers, Broth-

HELLBASTARD: W/ Warwound, Nerve Damage,

er Lee & the Leather Jackals, Fri., Jan. 8, 9 p.m.,

Grand Inquisitor, the Warden, Tue., Feb. 23, 7

$10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis,

p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis,

314-773-3363.

314-289-9050.

DENNIS DEYOUNG: Fri., Feb. 12, 8 p.m., $45-$65.

JIMBO MATHUS: Thu., Jan. 21, 8 p.m., $12-$15.

River City Casino & Hotel, 777 River City Casino

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-

Blvd., St. Louis, 314-388-7777.

773-3363.

DIRTY DISHES: Fri., Feb. 19, 8 p.m., $8-$10. The

KIRK FRANKLIN: Tue., April 5, 7 p.m., $20-$75.

Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, 314-833-

Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market St, St. Louis,

5532.

314-241-1888.

DRESSY BESSY: W/ Whoa Thunder, Sat., March

KRIS ALLEN: Tue., May 31, 8 p.m., $15-$17. Old

5, 9 p.m., $10-$12. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp

Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-

Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363.

0505.

ELECTRIC SIX: W/ Superfun Yeah Yeah Rocket-

LIL WYTE: W/ the Young Therobreds, Sat., Jan. 16,

ship, Mon., March 7, 8 p.m., $15. The Firebird,

8 p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis,

2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

314-289-9050.

FREETHINKER: W/ Brainwaves, Tue., Dec. 22, 7

LITTLE GREEN CARS: Wed., March 23, 8 p.m., $12-

p.m., $5. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-

$14. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis,

TNT Glass

Designs

All-American

Smoke Shop Pipes • Vaporizers • Detox Locally Crafted Jewelry CBD American Shaman Products Hand-Blown Glass Pipes New PAX 2 Herbal Vaporizer Gift Sets Custom Wraps by Cody

New year’s eve

Funky Butt Brass Band

sat. jan. 2

Voted Best Smoke Shop 2015

8 p.m. Wednesday, December 30. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10. 314-7733363.

On its face, Bruce Springsteen’s 1980 release The River was his least cohesive release; half of the double LP’s songs were party-starting fratrock burners, while the other half were much of the same heaviness that marked his previous album, Darkness on the Edge of Town. The recently released four-disc box set The Ties That Bind gives a deep dive into the sessions, false starts and demos that led to the final product

(which features songs including “Hungry Heart,” “Drive All Night” and the peerless title track), but you can save upward of $100 by hearing these classics celebrated by local acts. Down to the River pays tribute to those songs and will feature performances by the Fog Lights, Dan Johanning & the Wilderness, Letter to Memphis and the Brothers Lazaroff. And Into the River We Dive: This locals-only tribute could be a salve to those who were denied access to the sold-out Bruce show. He’s coming to town March 6 and will play the entirety of The River in order.

6163 EAST DELMAR LOOP | 314.863.8860

thur. jan. 7

Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

NATO COLES & THE BLUE DIAMOND BAND: W/ the

SKIN TAGS / HARDBODY RECORD RELEASE SHOW:

Cuban Missiles, Guy Morgan, the Haddonfields,

W/ Tunic, Trauma Harness, Tue., Dec. 22, 8

the Wilderness, Sat., March 12, 8 p.m., $10-$12.

p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

OPTIMUS REX: W/ Pirate Signal, Midnight Giant,

SKYLINE IN RUINS: W/ Roots Like Mountains,

Steadfast and Foolhardy, Wed., Jan. 6, 8 p.m.,

Ilia, Mental Fixation, Tue., Jan. 26, 7 p.m., $10.

$7. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis,

Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

314-833-5532.

SUCKS TO BE PLUTO EP RELEASE SHOW: W/ Miller

OXBOW AND MOOR: W/ Killj, Tue., Jan. 19, 8 p.m.,

and the Maniacals, Local Dog Dreams, Fri., Jan.

$7. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis,

29, 8 p.m., $7-$8. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St.

314-833-5532.

Louis, 314-535-0353.

PAUL THORN: Fri., April 8, 8 p.m., $25. Off Broad-

SWEETTALKER: W/ Various Hands, Other People,

way, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363.

the Great Expectations, Thu., Jan. 28, 7 p.m., $8-

SAM BUSH: Thu., July 14, 8 p.m., $25. Old Rock

$10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis,

House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

314-833-5532.

SCUZZ: W/ Drag, Bubbleheads, Thu., Dec. 17, 8

TAAKE: W/ Young and in the Way, Vattnet

p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson

Viskar, Tyranny

9PM

Sophisticated Babies and Emily Wallace

fri. jan. 22

10PM

Bonerama

From New Orleans

736 S Broadway St. Louis, MO 63102 (314) 621-8811

THESE Bargains Are Good Before Christmas Too!

Big 6.2” DVD/CD! SAVE $85!

–Christian Schaeffer

314-588-0505.

10PM

Grooveliner The Provels and The Service

READERS CHOICE 2015

[CRITIC’S PICK]

DOWN TO THE RIVER: A TRIBUTE TO BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

10:30PM

Two RCA preouts. Ready to add rear camera.

Big 11.2” Image!

Two-Way Alarm & Car Start! $ SAVE 250!

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HAZELWOOD 233 Village Square Cntr • (314) 731-1212 FAIRVIEW HEIGHTS 10900 Lincoln Tr. • (618) 394-9479

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

THIS JUST IN Continued from pg 51 [CRITIC’S PICK]

Samatha Fish.

SAMANTHA FISH 8 p.m. Wednesday, December 30. The Old Rock House, 1200 South Seventh Street. $12 to $15. 314-588-0505.

Kansas City native Samantha Fish is part of a vanguard of female blues artists whose guitar attack is as impressive as their vocal punch. On the tensile strength of this year’s Wild Heart, Fish may have put herself at the most deeply cutting edge of that movement. Working with a band of lightning greasers (including guitarist Lightnin Malcolm and just as appropriately named drummer

RIVERFRONT TIMES

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

Brady Blade), Fish transforms the elemental Hill Country juke-joint style with classic-rock hooks, Southern soul and all the pyrotechnics of Stevie Ray Vaughan. Best of all, her songwriting matches the snarling force of the music. Fish doesn’t rock the blues by rote; she does it by instinct and craft. Missouri All-Star Meets Mississippi: First championed by St. Louis-born bluesman Mike Zito, Fish hooked up with Luther Dickinson of the Mississippi All-Stars for her latest album. She’s never sounded grittier. –Roy Kasten

Enthroned, Xaemora, Mon., Feb. 29, 7 p.m.,

Johns, Wed., Jan. 13, 7 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar,

$18-$20. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-

3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050.

289-9050.

WILDERUN: W/ Stormcaller, Tue., Jan. 5, 7 p.m.,

TITUS ANDRONICUS: Tue., March 15, 8 p.m., $20.

$7. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis,

Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-

314-833-5532.

773-3363.

WILLIE NELSON & MERLE HAGGARD: Sat., April 9,

VANS WARPED TOUR 2016: Wed., July 27, noon,

7 p.m., $56.50-$122. Peabody Opera House, 1400

TBA. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 &

Market St, St. Louis, 314-241-1888.

Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-

X AMBASSADORS: W/ Seinabo Sey, Powers, Tue.,

9944.

March 15, 8 p.m., $22.50-$25. The Pageant, 6161

WADE BOWEN: Thu., Jan. 14, 8 p.m., $15-$18. Off

Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161.

Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-

YO MAMA’S BIG FAT BOOTY BAND: W/ Alanna

3363.

Royale, Thu., Feb. 18, 8 p.m., $10-$12. Old Rock

WARN THE DUKE: W/ Captain Dee and the Long

House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505.

SAVAGE LOVE COCK LOCKED

BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: After spending some years in the doldrums, my husband and I are now enjoying hot kinky sex and the occasional free pass to fuck other people. We couldn’t be happier. I have a friend who was extremely keen for me to cage his cock with the same kind of locking male chastity device I got for my husband—a fixed-ring stainless-steel type. I have two questions: (1) Is it okay for my husband’s balls to swell up tight, get cold and go purple when he’s wearing the cock cage and he is aroused? He says it doesn’t hurt, but I worry that even though he can squeeze into the ring, he might be cutting off circulation and doing damage. (2) My friend couldn’t get his balls and cock into the cage. His balls never dropped as a child, so he had an operation that pulled them down but fixed them in place. Consequently they sit “high and tight” and can’t be pulled away from his body. Can you recommend a cage that might fit him? He wants to relinquish control of his dick to me. (Hot, right?!) If a cage can’t work for him, what else can I use? Bitch Ably Locking Lucky Sluts Up Properly

1. “The first rule of thumb when it comes to male chastity is this: If the balls go blue or cold, take the fucking cock cage off!” says Christopher Miers, the founder and creative force behind Steelwerks (steelwerksextreme.com), purveyors of the world’s finest male chastity devices. “I’m a firm believer in play safe, stay comfortable, and cause pain or discomfort only when it’s asked for and nobody is at risk of longterm damage,” said Miers. “So for the sake of their marriage and the longevity of their hot kinky sex life, BALLSUP needs to get her guy a cage that keeps him trapped but still in the realm of safe!” A short primer for readers who aren’t familiar with male chastity devices: Most are anchored in place by a ring that goes around the shaft and behind the balls. The penis slides into a cylinder that attaches to the top of the ring, and the cylinder prevents erections and can even punish erections. (Some are lined with spikes.) Once the chastity device is locked — cheaper ones with a wee padlock, custom ones with something more artful — there’s no way to remove it (and free the cock) without tearing the balls off. Back to you, BALLSUP: Miers has been creating custom-made, high-quality stainless-steel male

chastity devices for fifteen years — so he’s the recognized expert on male chastity devices here, not your husband. Listen to Miers and toss the device you’re using now and get your husband a chastity cage that doesn’t turn his balls purple. You may have to experiment with some other designs and an assortment of cock rings before you find the one that locks his cock down without choking his balls off. “I often hear from guys who wear cages made with a onepiece, slip-on-style cock ring that it allows them to slip in easily and comfortably — but a lot of guys can remove these chastity devices even when they’re locked,” said Miers. “But a cage with a smaller, more secure cock ring often results in a cock ring that is too tight, especially when the person is using cheaper, mass-produced cages. The best chastity devices are ones that come with a cock ring that can be opened via a hinge or taken apart — then you can get a ring that might be too small to push his balls through using the one-ball-afterthe-other method, but because the ring comes apart, getting it on and off is much easier while providing the safety and inescapability both parties are looking for.” 2. “I encountered my first client with the ‘balls not dropping issue’ a few years back, and it is a challenge when it comes to chas-

riverfronttimes.com

tity,” said Miers. “For most of these guys, I encourage a PA as a means of anchoring a lightweight chastity device.” (A PA, also known as a Prince Albert, involves poking a bonus hole in the urethra below the head of the cock and putting a ring through it.) “A PA combined with a chastity device is the most durable and secure way to lock a guy’s cock up for long-term orgasm denial and forced chastity play.” But if your friend can handle some pressure on his balls, BALLSUP, a traditional style chastity device with a hinged or two-piece cock ring might work. “Because his balls sit high and tight, it is important that the scrotal gap (the gap between the front of the cock ring and the tube opening) isn’t too tight, as this could possibly put more pressure on his balls,” said Miers. “The last option would be a full chastity belt. While some of the belts out there are incredibly sexy and completely secure, experience and client feedback tell me that in the long-term, these are not ideal for a guy who wants to be kept in chastity every day.” You can follow Christopher Miers on Twitter @steelwerks. On the Lovecast, Dan chats with Roberta Kaplan, the attorney who slew DOMA: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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800 Health & Wellness 805 Registered Massage A New Intuitive Massage Call Natalie 314.799.2314 www.artformassage.info CMT/LMT 2003026388

A Wonderfully Relaxing

intuitive massage by licensed therapist. OPEN SUNDAYS Open Christmas Eve & Christmas Day! 314-706-4076 2002030286 Escape the Stresses of Life with a relaxing Oriental MASSAGE & Reflexology You’ll Come Away Feeling Refreshed & Rejuvenated. Call 314-972-9998

Health Therapy Massage Relax, Rejuvenate & Refresh!

Flexible Appointments Monday Thru Sunday (Walk-ins welcome) 320 Brooke’s Drive, 63042 Call Cheryl. 314-895-1616 or 314-258-2860 LET#200101083 Now Hiring...Therapists

Make Every Day Special with a Luxurious Asian Massage at Spa Chi Massage & Day Spa 109 Long Rd Chesterfield MO 636-633-2929 www.spa-chi.com

Ultimate Massage by Summer!!!! Relaxing 1 Hr Full Body Massage. Light Touch, Swedish, Deep Tissue. Daily 10am-5pm South County. 314-620-6386 Ls # 2006003746

810 Health & Wellness General ARE YOU ADDICTED TO PAIN MEDICATIONS OR HEROIN? Suboxone can help. Covered by most insurance. Free & confidential assessments. Outpatient Services. Center Pointe Hospital 314-292-7323 or 800-3455407 763 S. New Ballas Rd, Ste. 310 ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural. Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844244-7149 (M-F 9am-8pm central) (AAN CAN)

Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-888-403-9028

100 Employment 105 Career/Training/Schools THE OCEAN CORP. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a new career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid avail for those who qualify 1.800.321.0298

Personal Injury, Workers Comp, DWI, Traffic 314-621-0500

185 Miscellaneous Full-time Editorial Project Manager sought, expert knowledge in CMoS style (proficiency in other styles also beneficial) for broad range of manuscripts. Minimum 1–2 years publishing experience required and 1–2 years project management experience preferred, as is excellent score on applicant test. Compensation hourly. Interested? editingjobs@ amnet-systems.com

190 Business Opportunities Avon Full Time/Part Time, $15 Fee. Call Carla: 314-665-4585 For Appointment or Details Independent Avon Rep.

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN)

PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www. TheIncomeHub.com (AAN CAN)

110 Computer/Technical

193 Employment Information

Inspirix Technologies LLC is seeking 2 professionals for Fulltime employment (40 hours a week) for the position of Programmer Analysts at Saint Peters, MO 63376 at competitive salary. Job Summary: Analyze, Design, Develop & Test general computer applications software or specialized utility programs or application User Interfaces using using C, Unix, SQL, SAP Business Objects, Stored Procedures, MS Office, MS Excel, MS Word, MS Project, MS Power point, MS Out Look, MS Visio. Travel within USA required.. Qualifications required: Masters in Computer Science or Electrical Engg + 6 Months of experience as computer software professional. We offer comprehensive benefits including health insurance. To apply send your resume to Attn: HR, Inspirix Technologies , 1270 Jungermann Rd, Suite #B, Saint Peters, MO 63376

120 Drivers/Delivery/Courier ! Drivers Needed ASAP ! Requires Class E, B or A License. S Endorsement Helpful. Must be 25 yrs or older. Will Train. ABC/Checker Cab Co CALL NOW 314-725-9550

167 Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs SERVERS needed for High Profile Events. PT and flexible scheduling avl. Background checks & Drug tests req. Also hiring for kitchen & housekeepers. Call 314.863.7400

CDL- A DRIVERS and Owner Operators: $1,000.00 sign on, Company/ Safety Bonuses. Home daily/ weekly. Regional runs. Great Benefits. 1-888-300-9935

400 Buy-Sell-Trade

ATTORNEY BRUCE E. HOPSON

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision & should not be based solely on advertising.

530 Misc. Services DISH TV Starting at $19.99/ month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Call Today and Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888-992-1957 (AAN CAN) WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

537 Adoptions PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-4136293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN) PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-4136293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

420 Auto-Truck CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/ Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

500 Services 520 Financial Services Are you in BIG trouble with the IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317 (AAN CAN)

525 Legal Services

File Bankruptcy Now!

Call Angela Jansen 314-645-5900 Bankruptcyshopstl.com The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertising.

600 Music 610 Musicians Services MUSICIANS Do you have a band? We have bookings. Call (314)781-6612 for information Mon-Fri, 10:00-4:30 MUSICIANS AVAILABLE Do you need musicians? A Band? A String Quartet? Call the Musicians Association of St. Louis (314)781-6612, M-F, 10:00-4:30 MUSICIANS Do you have a band? We have bookings. Call (314)781-6612 for information Mon-Fri, 10:00-4:30 MUSICIANS AVAILABLE Do you need musicians? A Band? A String Quartet? Call the Musicians Association of St. Louis (314)781-6612, M-F, 10:00-4:30

EXPERIENCED SCREEN PRINTER MANUAL AND AUTOMATIC SET-UP AND RUN INK AND FABRIC KNOWLEDGE HELPFUL. jack of all trades WILL TRAIN ALL BASIC REQUIREMENTS TO KEEP WAREHOUSE PRINTERS RUNNING EFFECTIVELY email

advkjob@sbcglobal.net for more info

300 Rentals

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320 Houses for Rent

310 Roommate Services ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (AAN CAN)

315 Condos/Townhomes/Duplexes for Rent SOUTH-CITY $440 314-223-8067 Spacious 1BR, 2nd flr, garden entrance, hdwd flrs, kitch appls, near Grand busline

317 Apartments for Rent

ARSENAL-ST! $575 314-309-2043 Redone 1 bedroom house, central heat/air, full basement, fenced yard, beautiful fireplace, all appliances, pets allowed, ready now! rs-stl.com RG5PV BEVO-MILL $795 636-230-0068 4455 Wallace: 2+ BR, 1 BA, hardwood floors, C/A/heat, W/D inc, fenced yard, 2 car garage w/opener, covered back patio BROADWAY! $550 314-309-2043 Updated 1 bedroom house, full basement, central heat/air, fenced yard, appliances included, plenty of storage, off street parking! rs-stl.com RG5PU

CARONDELET-PARK! $400 314-309-2043 1 bedroom, hardwood floors, central heat/air, kitchen appliances, pets, stained glass, recently remodeled! rs-stl.com RG5PP

CHIPPEWA-ST! $700 314-309-2043 Oversized 2 bed house, hardwood floors, big basement, central heat/air, garage, fenced yard, all appliances, off street parking! rs-stl.com RG5PX

DELMAR! $550 314-309-2043 2 bedroom, all appliances, hardwood floors, central heat/air, pets allowed, deck, off street parking, recent updates! rs-stl. com RG5PR

GRAVOIS-AVE! $850 314-309-2043 Spacious 3 bed, 2 bath house, full basement, hardwoods, family room, central heat/air, fenced yard, appliances, pets, many upgrades! rs-stl.com RG5P1

DOWNTOWN Cityside-Apts 314-231-6806 Bring in ad & application fee waived! Gated prkng, onsite laundry. Controlled access bldgs, pool, fitness, business ctr. Pets welcome

GRAVOIS-PARK $795 636-230-0068 3449 Minnesota: 2 BR, 1 BA, fenced in backyard, ADT security inc.

FOREST-PARK-AVE! $555 314-309-2043 All Utilities Paid! Nice apartment, all kitchen appliances, central heat/air, hardwood floors, flexible deposit! ready now! rs-stl. com RG5PT

NORTH ST. LOUIS COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 2, 3 & 4BR homes for rent. eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome

GRAND! $550 314-309-2043 2 bedroom, 2 bath, central heat/air, fenced yard, loaded kitchen, w/d hookups, thermal windows, Move in special! Call for details! rs-stl.com RG5PS LAFAYETTE-SQUARE $685 314-968-5035 2030 Lafayette: 2BR/1BA, appls, C/A, Hdwd Fl NORTH-CITY! $375 314-309-2043 1-2 bedroom, central heat/air, hardwood floors, enclosed porch, off street parking, recently updated! rs-stl.com RG5PN OVERLAND/ST-ANN $535-$575 314-995-1912 Near 170, 64, 70, 270. Great loc. Clean, safe, quiet 1 & 2BRs, garage RICHMOND-HEIGHTS $525-$565 (Special) 314-995-1912 1 MONTH FREE! 1BR, all elec off Big Bend, Metrolink, 40, 44, Clayton SOULARD $775 314-724-8842 Spacious 2nd flr 2BR, old world charm, hdwd flrs, yard, frplcs, off st prk, no C/A, nonsmoking bldg, storage. nprent@aol.com SOUTH CITY

$400-$850 314-7714222 Many different units www.stlrr.com 1-3 BR, no credit no problem SOUTH ST. LOUIS CITY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 1, 2 & 3 BR apts for rent. www.eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome

SOUTH-CITY

$400

314-277-0204

studio-townhouse, 3333 Lawn #1: range, fridge, A/C, parking SOUTH-CITY $400 314-707-9975 4321 Morganford: 1 BR, all electric, hdwd flrs, C/A. SOUTH-CITY $495 314-402-2621 5020 Mardel: Nice 1BR, 1st Flr, Hdwd Flrs, AC, W/D Hkups. Credit check required. SOUTH-CITY $495 314-707-9975 Grand & Bates: 1 BRs, hardwood flrs, all electric, C/A. SOUTH-CITY $525 314-223-8067 Move in Special! Spacious 1BRs, 1st flr, Hdwd Floors,C/A, new windows, W/D, lrg fenced yard, near Grand bus SOUTH-CITY $575 314-968-5035 Newly Renovated, 1BR 1BA, 3850 Park Ave Located directly behind Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital. Less than 1 mile from SLU. New Kit. Appls & Cabinets, C/A, Coin Lndry, Off-St. Pkg, CATV wired & carpet. Park Property Developers LLC SOUTH-CITY 314-504-6797 37XX Chippewa: 3 rms, 1BR. all elec exc. heat. C/A, appls, at bus stop SOUTH-CITY! $385 314-309-2043 1 bedroom, appliances included, central heat/air, extra storage, carpet & tile, pets, w/d hookups, ready to rent! rs-stl.com RG5PO SOUTH-CITY! $475 314-309-2043 2 bedroom, recently updated, full basement, central heat/air, loaded kitchen, custom tile, fenced yard, pets ok! RG5PQ

OLIVE-BLVD! $775 314-309-2043 Big 3 bed house, walkout finished basement, hardwood floors, central heat/air, appliances, pets ok, plenty of storage, ready now! rs-stl.com RG5P0 PAGE-AVE! $725 314-309-2043 Recently updated brick 3 bed house, full basement, toasty fireplace, central air, fenced yard for pets & kids, washer/dryer included!! rs-stl.com RG5PY SOULARD! $650 314-309-2043 Loaded 1 bedroom house, central heat/air, full basement, hardwood floors, washer/dryer included, fenced yard, appliances, pets ok! rs-stl.com RG5PW SOUTH-BROADWAY! $735 314-309-2043 Remodeled 2 bed house, hardwood floors, walk-out basement, main floor laundry, central heat/air, kitchen appliances, must see! rs-stl.com RG5PZ ARSENAL-ST! $575 314-309-2043 Redone 1 bedroom house, central heat/air, full basement, fenced yard, beautiful fireplace, all appliances, pets allowed, ready now! rs-stl.com RG5PV BEVO-MILL $795 636-230-0068 4455 Wallace: 2+ BR, 1 BA, hardwood floors, C/A/heat, W/D inc, fenced yard, 2 car garage w/opener, covered back patio BROADWAY! $550 314-309-2043 Updated 1 bedroom house, full basement, central heat/air, fenced yard, appliances included, plenty of storage, off street parking! rs-stl.com RG5PU CHIPPEWA-ST! $700 314-309-2043 Oversized 2 bed house, hardwood floors, big basement, central heat/air, garage, fenced yard, all appliances, off street parking! rs-stl.com RG5PX GRAVOIS-AVE! $850 314-309-2043 Spacious 3 bed, 2 bath house, full basement, hardwoods, family room, central heat/air, fenced yard, appliances, pets, many upgrades! rs-stl.com RG5P1 GRAVOIS-PARK $795 636-230-0068 3449 Minnesota: 2 BR, 1 BA, fenced in backyard, ADT security inc. NORTH ST. LOUIS COUNTY 314-579-1201 or 636-939-3808 2, 3 & 4BR homes for rent. eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome OLIVE-BLVD! $775 314-309-2043 Big 3 bed house, walkout finished basement, hardwood floors, central heat/air, appliances, pets ok, plenty of storage, ready now! rs-stl.com RG5P0 PAGE-AVE! $725 314-309-2043 Recently updated brick 3 bed house, full basement, toasty fireplace, central air, fenced yard for pets & kids, washer/dryer included!! rs-stl.com RG5PY

575

ST. CHARLES COUNTY

314-579-1201 or 636-9393808 1 & 2 BR apts for rent. www.eatonproperties.com. Sec. 8 welcome

ST. JOHN $495-$595 314-423-3106 Special! 1BR.$495 & 2BR.$595. Near 170 & St.Charles Rock Rd WESTPORT/LINDBERGH/PAGE $525-$575 314-995-1912 1 mo FREE! 1BR ($525) & 2BR ($575 specials) Clean, safe, quiet. Patio, laundry, great landlord! Nice Area near I-64, 270, 170, 70 or Clayton

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DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

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