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SEPTEMBER 16–22, 2015 I VOLUME 39 I NUMBER 38

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Imagine there’s no heaven WHAT I LEARNED SPENDING THREE DAYS WITH A BUNCH OF ATHEISTS BY DA N N Y W IC E N TOWS K I

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“I believe Syrian refugees can do what Bosnians have done: increase home values and fill jobs people are not doing. When I escaped Sarajevo and moved here, I was nineteen and I remember the Bevo neighborhood was a rundown area. Now it is cleaned up, and businesses have moved in. There may be fear of the unknown. It’s a human condition. But once Syrians start moving in, I think people will see they are just like you and me — I went to college and started my dream job. My hometown was very idyllic and I never thought about leaving it, and I still call it my other home. There’s plenty of room here in south city. And there’s a couple mosques and plenty of other new Americans to give support until they get on their feet.”

P H OTO BY JA R R E D G AST R E IC H

–IBRO TUCAKOVIC, SPOTTED DURING THE BRING THEM HERE MARCH: SYRIAN REFUGEES, SEPTEMBER 13.

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12 IMAGINE T H E R E ’ S N O H E AV E N What I learned spending three days with a bunch of atheists BY DANNY WICENTOWSKI

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VOLUME 39 NUMBER 38 SEPTEMBER 16-22, 2015

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

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Standout dispatches from our news blog, updated all day, every day

For Non-Corporate KDHX, an Odd Corporate Partner s St. Louis’ main community-supported radio station, KDHX (88.1 FM) is proud of its independence — so proud, in fact, that it published a humorous video on Facebook last June showing how a “fearless KDHX employee deflects the corporate wolves waiting in the wings.” It has not, however, totally deflected corporate America from its exterior walls: Last Friday, the station unveiled a 1,200-square-foot mural on the west side of its headquarters at 3524 Washington Avenue in Grand Center. A depiction of dozens of St. Louis icons, the mural was paid for by oil giant Phillips 66 as part of its “66 Reasons to Love St. Louis” ad campaign. The mural includes the ad campaign’s logo, which is a heart with the number 66 inside. The oil company has called the artwork a “gift to the city.” It’s also being framed as a gift to KDHX. Despite the station’s recent financial turmoil (it needs $2 million to cover the costs of its move to Grand Center, and has taken to slashing costs just to make debt payments), it will receive no monetary contribution in exchange for the use of its wall, says Kelly Wells, the station’s interim co-executive director. “It is not likely we would have taken on a mural without some kind of sponsor,” Wells wrote in an email to Riverfront Times. She said the oil company paid for all the materials and compensated the father-daughter artist duo, Robert and Liza Fishbone, who created it. The Fishbones were selected by a committee consisting of representatives from Phillips 66, KDHX, Grand Center and the locally based marketing firm Switch after a request for proposals. The “66 Reasons” campaign looks like a big win for Phillips 66. The whole point, as described in promotional material published by Switch, is “to celebrate St. Louis while introducing our citizens to their soon-to-launch newly remodeled gas stations.” Yet the mural will far outlast that launch: Wells said it will remain on the wall for ten years. Media outlets have been happy to oblige with coverage. A KSDK (Channel 5) story online pulled straight from the press release in stating that Phillips “has been fueling St. Louis neighborhoods with performance gas for more than 80 years” and has a “rich history in the region and long relationships with local operators.” 8

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NICHOLAS PHILLIPS

And the mural itself also contains some subtle — though probably unintended — PR imagery. The left side of it depicts someone canoeing on a clean blue river — ironic, given that as recently as last April, the Phillips 66 refinery in Wood River, Illinois (which is just across the river from St. Charles), spilled 25,000 gallons of diesel fuel into a waterway that feeds into the Mississippi. “We are in the process of evaluating this project as well as others,” wrote Wells, “looking for ways that continue to build community through media.” Some people affiliated with KDHX have no problem with the partnership. Tom “Papa” Ray, a long-time volunteer DJ, views the mural as a win for the station. He prefers to see this project not as KDHX working with an oil company, but rather, a project with the Grand Center community. “Much like the zoo and Powell Symphony Hall and other mature nonprofits that to me improve the quality of life in St. Louis, KDHX is deserving of corporate largesse,” Ray says. “I

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

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think people take for granted that we literally have the single best community station in the country here.” KDHX also agreed to coordinate music for the ad campaign. Wells says the station was “thrilled” to be able to highlight local artists, and sent out emails to bands in June asking if they’d like to submit a track for a “66 Reasons to Love St. Louis” playlist. But the email made no mention of Phillips 66, which didn’t sit well with everyone. “We always do things for KDHX, so I thought, ‘Oh, this is from someone I trust,’” said Melinda Cooper of the band Town Cars. Cooper received a release and signed it — and only later realized the oil company was involved. “It was really upsetting,” she says. Wells tells RFT, “There was never, at any point, an intention to exclude information about Phillips 66 to the musicians solicited for the playlist. Each musician was asked to sign a release allowing their track to be used for the playlist. The release clearly stated that Phillips 66 was involved.” All thirteen bands currently

on the master playlist did indeed sign the release, she says. Musician Matt Harnish of the band Bunnygrunt decided not to sign the Phillips 66 release. The document failed to list a specific track or to specify a time-frame of use, for which reason he found it “completely open-ended in their favor.” “I hope the people that signed it got a better contract than the one I saw,” he says. Some other musicians who donated a track didn’t respond to interview requests or declined to speak on the record about it to RFT. Last Friday, the mural on the KDHX building was formally dedicated by Mayor Francis G. Slay. Multiple bands performed in eight different venues in and around Strauss Park (right in front of the Fox Theatre). It was the last in a series of free concerts called Music @ the Intersection. The promotional graphic on the Grand Center’s website calls it “St. Louis’s Newest Summer Celebration.” And on the right, a little heart-shaped logo to remind you that it’s “Presented by 66 Reasons to Love St. Louis.” — NICHOLAS PHILLIPS

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El Trumpo Takes a Thumpo on Cherokee

he children are the first to seize upon Trump. Merciless, they hack at his knees and midsection, relenting only when his sweet entrails burst forth and fall to the ground below. Then begins the frenzy, as more and more kids pile in and begin collecting the spilled remains, handling them with unfiltered delight. It is 7:15 p.m. on a Sunday, and a large crowd has gathered to witness the carnage. Throughout the day, the people had been promised a bloodbath. “Right after seven, everybody is waiting here, and we’re gonna kick his butt,” Rodrigo Romero told them. “We’re gonna try to hit him as hard as we can. He’s stupid and he’s crazy, right?” Romero, a DJ and radio host for La Tremenda 880 AM (WIJB), is on hand as part of Cherokee Street’s Mexican Independence Day celebration. Booths and vendors line the street in south St. Louis, which is blocked off and bookended by two large stages. Thousands of people fill the space between, eating and laughing and dancing. Oh, and talking about Donald Trump. “Whoever hates him is going to be over here,” Romero says. “So if you want to really show your feelings — whatever you feel about this guy — you’re so welcome to come in here and just kick his butt, OK?” Romero stands next to an oversized piñata made in the likeness of Donald Trump. Dubbed “El Trumpo,” the papier mâché masterpiece had been constructed by Francis “Rich” Rodriguez, owner of Yaquis on Cherokee, which specializes in wood-fired pizzas. The project took two weeks. “He had an option to set up the nursery or build an eight-foot piñata,” explains his partner Beckie Lewis, who serves as manager at the restaurant. “He picked the piñata.” As a young man — twelve years old, tops — prepares to take a swing at the candy-filled “El Trumpo,” Romero puts the crowd’s frustration into words. “There’s good people and bad people in every race,” he says. “There’s bad white people. There’s bad black people. There’s bad Mexican people. There’s bad Chinese people. But there’s good people too, you know? And we’re really mad that this guy is saying that all the Spanish people are rapists and criminals. You know, that’s stupid, my friend. Viva Mexico!” The first kid takes Trump out at the knees, but fails to release the delicious candy within. The next one up at bat successfully punches through, and suddenly dozens of children flood past the small fence that had been erected and pounce on the sweet stuff. Normally that would mark the end of the event, but some of the adults in the crowd still had some steam to release. As the little ones shuffle away, the grown folks eagerly step in and finish the job. “We’re not harming anybody,” Romero says, explaining the crowd’s anger. “We’re just trying to be happy people. We’re trying to have a better life. We come here to work and take care of our family — our sons, our grandparents. “I mean, nobody wants a president like this,” he continues. “This is wrong; this is stupid. He’s making people hate each other, and that’s stupid. We are all brothers.” —DANIEL HILL 10

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P H OTO S B Y DA N I E L H I L L

That’s one way to celebrate Mexican Independence Day: Beating the crap out of a giant, candy-filled Donald Trump piñata.

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Rex Sinquefield has been a major donor to many St. Louis institutions.

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Rex Sinquefield’s Email, P.O. Box Caught Up in Ashley Madison Data Dump

id the most powerful conservative in Missouri get swept up in the Ashley Madison data breach? Data downloaded after the adultery-facilitating company was hacked last month shows that someone using billionaire philanthropist Rex Sinquefield’s personal email address and post office box paid $268 to ADL Media Inc. — Ashley Madison’s deceptively innocuous parent company name — on July 30, 2012. Laura Slay, a spokeswoman for Sinquefield, says that customer was not Sinquefield. “Rex Sinquefield has never registered with this site,” she said via email. “The profile was created by an imposter.” The credit card used in the transaction, she says, is not one used by Sinquefield. Now, it’s true that it would be easy enough for an Ashley Madison customer to create an account using an email address that’s not his own. The site apparently did not require email verification. However, it seems unusual that someone would also go to the trouble of using a post office box associated with the same person. While it could be an elaborate setup, the data indicates the transaction took place several years before anyone suspected the site was vulnerable to hacking. The data also shows that the person who set up the account used a Missouri IP address — and one traceable to an Internet service provider, Radiowire, that only provides services in central Missouri. Among the areas serviced by Radiowire is the town of Westphalia, where Sinquefield has an estate. Intriguingly, the person who set up the account also later paid $20 to the company for a “full delete.” Ashley Madison offered that service to people willing to pay extra to remove their footprint from the site (although, clearly, it didn’t work with anything close to fullness). A St. Louis-based financier and philanthropist, the married Sinquefield is the single largest donor to candidates supporting conservative causes in the state of Missouri. In January, the

St. Louis Post-Dispatch put his total political spending at $37 million — which has given him enormous influence. Senator Claire McCaskill told the newspaper, “In Jefferson City, the first question legislators ask is not, ‘What do my constituents think?’ It’s, ‘What does Rex think?’ They’re not saying it out loud, because they’re afraid of him, but everyone is uncomfortable about what’s going on.” Locally, Sinquefield’s goals are less that of a Christian conservative and more that of a free-market fiscal one. But his generosity to Republicans in a state that puts no contribution limits on individual donors has shaped Missouri politics beyond that one area of interest. Some of the legislators he’s backed have been eager to weigh in on social issues. State Representative Wayne Wallingford, a Republican from Cape Girardeau, received $4,800 from Sinquefield’s Grow Missouri in 2014, pushed a “religious freedom” bill that year that critics said would, for example, allow bakeries to refuse to serve gay weddings. And former Missouri speaker of the house Steve Tilley was a major recipient of Sinquefield’s generosity, was a key sponsor in 2012 of the state’s controversial “don’t say gay” bill, which would have banned public schools from discussing sexual orientation. Recently, Sinquefield’s largesse has been directed at GOP gubernatorial candidate Catherine Hanaway. Last year, Hanaway famously opined that “sexual permissiveness” has impoverished women and, ultimately, led to acceptance of child porn. Of the $1.4 million that Hanaway raised last year, $1 million came from Sinquefield. Nationally, he has a history of supporting conservatives as well. In addition to Mitt Romney and the Republican National Committee, he has given to Michele Bachmann and Ted Cruz. And then there’s Todd Akin. In August 2012, the Republican congressman, made his infamous comments about “legitimate rape” while attempting to justify his opposition to abortion even when a woman has been sexually assaulted. When those remarks caused numerous Republicans to distance themselves from the lawmaker, a political action committee called Now or Never announced it would create an $800,000 ad buy to help Akin. Soon after, Sinquefield personally donated $800,000 to the committee. — SARAH FENSKE

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No Heaven

WHAT I LEARNED SPENDING THREE DAYS WITH A BUNCH OF ATHEISTS

was seventeen when my yeshiva class assembled for “the talk.” We shuffled through the school’s dining hall and into an adjoining common area, and there stood a bearded, middle-aged rabbi in a rumpled white dress shirt and black suit. Over the course of two hours, he conclusively proved the divine origin of the Torah. He ripped fatal holes through Christianity and Islam’s claims to authenticity. He name-dropped Seinfeld creator Larry David and other Hollywood friends. At the end of the speech, the rabbi clutched his black velvet yarmulke above his head and bellowed that he would rather leave Judaism than follow its customs out of habit or some shallow sense of comfort. “If you don’t want to be here,” he said, firmly replacing the yarmulke atop his salt-and-pepper hair, “then just leave!” Eight years later the memory bubbles through my mind as I hasten across Washington University’s campus. Classes are out for the summer, meaning the place is deserted save for a wedding party, some cricket players and, for the next three days, several hundred atheists. That’s why I’m here. I find the sign-in desk for the Gateway to Reason conference through the entrance of the Laboratory Science Building. I’m immediately waved aside by a local member of the Satanic Temple. She whispers that none other than Doug Mesner — a.k.a. “Lucien Greaves,” the Satantic Temple’s enigmatic founder and spokesman — will be arriving on Sunday to address the conference. It’s a marquee addition for the Gateway to Reason: This year, the Temple courted Christian hand-wringing and news coverage by suing the state of Missouri over its restrictive abortion laws. In the still-pending lawsuits, its attorneys argued that mandated waiting periods and other onerous requirements on women seeking abortions infringe on its members’ religious beliefs. And even though the Satanic

BY DA N N Y W IC E N TOWS K I Temple’s tenets are fundamentally opposed to all forms of supernaturalism (including the idea of worshiping a literal Satan), its supporters profess deep and genuine beliefs about bodily autonomy and a woman’s right to choose. The high-profile effort has turned the group into atheist superstars. Even beyond the buzzworthy presence of Satanists, the conference’s chief organizer, a professional pet photographer named Thomas True, has already assured me that the conference is a big deal for St. Louis. “I travel to about ten different cities in Missouri and Illinois, I’m constantly finding and meeting atheists and freethinkers.” True told me over the phone in May. “I’ve been trying to get something like this going for years.” According to True, Gateway to Reason, held July 31 to August 2, would be the first event of its kind in St. Louis. “A lot of larger conventions are on the east and west coasts, or they migrate to places on the edges, like Austin,” he said. “St. Louis is convenient to get to, and a convention like this has never been held in a metro area like this.” To bolster his point, he cited a 2014 survey from the Pew Research Center that found 23 percent of the U.S. population doesn’t identify with a religion. “That group should actually exceed even the evangelicals within the next presidential election,” he said excitedly. “We are right in line.” I’m already late for the convention’s first event, a documentary screening, and so instead I decide to wander a bit. I spot a booth hawking what initially looks like a children’s picture book, titled Bedtime Bible Stories. I find myself staring at a lushly colored illustration of a bloodcovered Grecian solider, a baby slung over his shoulder by its umbilical cord. At the soldier’s feet are a coil of intestines and a woman with a slashed abdomen. In classic cartoon fashion, X’s are drawn where her eyes should be. “See, if you’re reading your Bible, it’s Hosea chapter 13, verse 16, where God literally commands soldiers to kill pregnant women and rip babies from their womb,” says Joey Kirkman, the book’s author. A former evangelical Christian, he explains that Bedtime Bible Stories is intended to strip away the romanticism of Old and New Testament stories. It’s also intended

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to be funny. “I’m not really making fun of a dead baby being ripped out of a mother; I’m making fun of a fictional book,” Kirkman continues. To sell books, he tours conventions like this one — nearly twenty so far, by his count, in the past two years. Kirkman pulls out a copy of Bedtime Bible Stories and flips a few pages. Now we’re looking at a drawing of Noah standing before his ark as floodwaters rise around him. A pregnant woman with a baby tied to her back reaches toward Noah, begging for a spot on the ark. In school, I was taught that the story of Noah’s flood was a literal account, a real-life chronicle of the monumental stakes underpinning our own existence. Ultimately, various rabbis and teachers instructed, it was a story of God’s boundless capacity for renewal and love. I stopped wearing the yarmulke more than two years ago, and although I can see what Kirkman is getting at, the pictures don’t feel funny to me. His pitch makes me uncomfortable; it feels like I’m being asked to laugh at my previous self for being so dumb, so gullibly bloodthirsty. (On a pettier level, I’ve read enough of the Bible to know Kirkman misinterpreted the passage in Hosea. God wasn’t “literally” commanding soldiers to kill babies. Rather, it is the prophet Hosea foretelling the ruin to befall the Jews if they fail to repent. Maybe that’s a small distinction, but more than a decade of Bible study makes me a stickler for textual context.) “The only thing that explains it is childhood indoctrination,” Kirkman tells me. “If someone walked up to you at age twenty and said, ‘Hey, this is what my God does, and this is loving,’ you would say, ‘This is batshit crazy!’” Kirkman points back to Noah and his drowning cartoon world. “According to the Bible, this is what happened,” he says. “Pregnant women died. Their children died. If God said to bring only two of everything, lots of animals died.” He’s right, of course, but there’s something else gnawing at me. This convention is designed to appeal to people just like me, the heretics, the disappointers of forefathers, the forsakers of tradition. But if atheism could wash away belief like Noah’s flood, I wonder, what would be left? What would be built in its place? Would it be good? continued on page 14

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Atheists

Glasser answers thoughtfully, advising that total digital transparency might be a noble goal but, given the circumstances, she’s shouldn’t feel pressured to notify social media of everything all at once. Coming out as an atheist is a process, he says, and it can be a lengthy and complicated one. “And we’ve got your back!” someone yells. The auditorium briefly erupts in cheers and whoops of encouragement. The young woman beams.

continued from page 13

he convention kicks off with a screening of Contradiction: A Question of Faith. It’s a 2013 documentary that attempts deconstruct the mystique of black churches. Through the narration of its creator, Jeremiah Camara, the film argues that the church’s venerated status among black communities is in fact exploitative, that these communities are being robbed of ambition (if not money) by religious leaders who glorify submissiveness to a higher master. After the credits roll, Camara watches from a seat as his hype man, Steve Hill, works the crowd. A Missouri native, Hill grew up in University City, a few minutes’ drive from Washington University’s campus. He’s also slated to perform during the “Atheists Are Funny” block Saturday night. “I want to conduct a quick scientific survey,” Hill says after the initial applause dies down. He peers around the auditorium. “Black people in here: What you think about the movie?” The question is met with silence. Then, the sound of one black guy clapping in a back row. People laugh. Camara and Hill, a black atheist filmmaker and black atheist comedian, have spent the past year touring across the country in rooms similar to this one — mostly white people. Hill pivots back to the film. “This movie means a lot to me,” he says. “I grew up dirt poor here, fled here in 1979. My mother prayed all the time, and I can see by this whole Ferguson incident that the praying is still not helping us. As long as we’re praying, we’re going to be in trouble.” Hill then introduces Camara. After two or three questions, Camara is hit with a query that, with just one or two different word choices, wouldn’t sound out of place at a conference of evangelicals. In essence: How do we reach people who aren’t like us with these ideas we feel strongly about? How do we convince them our cause is meaningful? But because he’s talking about race, and he’s trying to do it with the utmost sensitivity, the questioner quickly devolves into babble. “So, I have a lot of black friends,” he begins. “I have a lot of atheist friends. I have zero black atheist friends. What’s the best way to have these conversations…without being offended? And without coming off as, I’m trying to embarrass or talk down to, I feel like sometimes that can come across very condescending. How do I do that with my black friends, knowing this now, and to have an opportunity...?” His question trails off into merciful silence. I’m cringing with muscles I’ve never felt before. “That’s a good question,” Camara says calmly. He proceeds to turn the question back to his film’s central thesis. “I would just say ask questions, as opposed to making statements. Why do you go to church? What is it actually doing for the community? Why are there so many churches in the community yet there are so many problems? Why are they coexisting in the midst of poverty and powerlessness? “That’s going to force them to think about it.” 14

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Steve Hill, a University City native and traveling comedian, says atheism is a difficult sell in the black community.

“It’s false hope. That’s the worst thing you can have, is false hope. We have to get politically active.” After the presentation, I find Hill sitting behind Camara’s booth display of T-shirts and DVDs. He’s wearing a leather jacket featuring patches from his time in the Marines and as a prison guard in California. Hill tells me that he and Camara have had little luck gathering black audiences for the movie, and even those few successful screenings featured “excruciatingly, painfully low” attendance. Hill bemoans the prevalence of religion among African Americans. Watching clergy members rise to prominence during the Ferguson protests made him furious.

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“It’s false hope,” he says. “That’s the worst thing you can have, is false hope. We have to get politically active.” I head back to the auditorium, where I catch most of the speech from Russell Glasser, a host of The Atheist Experience webcast and cable access TV show. During the question and answer session, a young woman with short blonde hair and a brown dress takes the microphone. She says she recently abandoned plans to become a Catholic nun. She doesn’t know how break the news to her religious friends or, for that matter, what to do about the five nuns who follow her on Twitter.

catch up to the young woman by a row of tables holding stacks of atheist newsletters. I must know more about her problems with Twitter nuns. Do sisters subtweet? Can a catechism be recited in 140 characters? Gabrielle Gojko, I learn, is eighteen years old and a native of Edwardsville, Illinois. This is her first atheist convention, but just two weeks ago she was attending a major Catholic youth conference on the campus of Missouri State University in Springfield. I remark that a Christian youth conference seems like a strange event to attract a nonbeliever, and she explains that she had actually attended it for the previous four years. She made friends, bonded with pastors and joined fellow Christians in being part of something greater. This was the first year she attended as an atheist. “I mainly went because I wanted to be with the people who I loved and cared about and hadn’t seen in a while at church. I was still kind of hoping that they would say something that actually made sense. But they didn’t.” Gojko was baptized a Catholic as a high school freshman. Earlier that year, on a Friday evening in March, seven-year-old Macie Crow had been playing in a culvert behind her Edwardsville house when the decrepit structure collapsed. The little girl’s life was snuffed out by a six-foot slab of concrete. Crow was one of Gojko’s neighbors. “I couldn’t grasp the idea of death,” she reflects. “My way of coping with it was going to the church.” What began as a coping mechanism became, for Gojko, a portal to a world of clarity and empowerment. Somewhat ironically, her final push toward religion came after a bitter argument with an atheist classmate. “She took an aggressive approach, called me a bigot, called my religious friends bigots, and after all that, I was very turned off by atheism,” Gojko says. “I wasn’t Catholic yet. If she had persisted in a kind way, maybe I wouldn’t have ever become Catholic. Who knows?” I’m certain she intended it as rhetorical, but Gojko’s trailing question strikes me as something more, a kind of psychoanalysis wrapped around a theological thought experiment: If her friend’s hated of religion was so repulsive that, at least in part, it enabled Gojko’s turn to Christ, what does that say about atheism? Should we just chalk it up to the friend being an asshole? Or does it indicate something deeper, a bitter intolerance among atheists that comes across as spiteful? I know that bitterness. I feel it when I read about Orthodox rabbis who forbid their followers to report child molesters to secular authorities. It’s that twinge in my chest when I remember how a fairly continued on page 16

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“I think the biggest mistake the atheist movement makes is discarding religion entirely. To a lot of people, that sounds paradoxical.” Atheists continued from page 14

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recent version of myself considered the Torah a timeless moral guide, even though I was spending hours a day studying laws that hadn’t been applied in more than a millennium. I get angry knowing that I spent most of my life following a book whose author deemed homosexuality and shrimp “abominations” while simultaneously establishing a legal framework to buy, sell and breed slaves. Google the word “atheist” and it becomes immediately apparent that a certain slice of self-identifying rationalists turn downright brutal when it comes to the Bible. Kirkman’s illustrated works of Biblical horror appeal to that crowd, and Gateway to Reason’s schedule features at least half a dozen presentations devoted to similar Biblical mockery. (Sure, you could have just as much fun deriding Islam or Hinduism, but Christianity is the prevalent religion in the Midwest; its teachings are the petri dish that most conference attendees swim in.) As for Gojko, that first, negative impression of atheism drove her to enroll in a Catholic high school. Soon after, she started making preparations for her future life as a nun. Something changed a few months ago. At the urging of a different atheist friend, she started watching atheist-themed YouTube videos and webcasts. She can’t put her finger on what exactly shook her Christian faith, but it’s gone. She’s sure of that — even as she mourns what has been lost. “I got this sense of joy from the other nuns that I had met. They were just so compassionate and everything. They were wonderful. It was so hard to give that up,” she says. “It was almost exactly two years ago that I decided I was open to becoming a nun, and then almost exactly a year ago when I was like, ‘I’m definitely gonna do it.’ If I could have, I would have joined a convent right then.” After Gojko saunters back to the audito-

rium for the next speaker, I head to the snack table. Of course, this is when I realize that I am cashless. I mumble a stream of apologies and begin fumbling for my debit card so I can purchase a $1.50 bag of Mini Oreos. The guy behind the counter waves away my card. “Actually, she just paid for you,” he says, pointing to a woman with a shaved head who’s walking away. I spot her just in time to watch her disappear around a corner. I hadn’t even noticed her standing in line next to me. I walk to the auditorium, open the bag of Oreos and take my seat for the next speaker. I think of Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish scholar and philosopher. He once wrote that the act of giving anonymous charity — without seeking acknowledgment or praise — is a perfect act of kindness. Maimonides classified the act, or mitzvah, as among those deeds performed solely “for the sake of Heaven.” I stuff five cookies in my mouth. So much for Maimonides.

y second day of the conference begins with a speech from a Washington University physicist. The subject: “Why does time move forward and not backward?” The answer, I think, has to do with quantum entanglements and the superposition of particles. Or something like that. It’s the first moment of conference where it seems like we’re finally approaching “meaning of life” territory, something that addresses the big picture and doesn’t merely tear down an evangelical strawman. But it’s a tease. Several more speakers unleash stale criticisms of Bible-inspired lifestyles, sometimes with the help of lengthy PowerPoint presentations. The highlight of the day’s slate is Dan Barker, a former preacher who now serves as co-president of the Freedom From Religion Foundation. “We atheists truly have the good news, and the news is this: There is continued on page 18

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Atheists continued from page 16

no purpose to life,” Barker says triumphantly. “Thinking that there’s a purpose of life is to cheapen life, but there can be meaning and purpose in life. Usually you don’t find it. It finds you.” The downpour of platitudes is thankfully short-lived, and during the break I retreat (again) to buy junk food and schmooze with the godless convention-goers. That’s how I meet Stacey Holland and her husband. Born into a Mormon community in Utah, Holland realized she was an atheist at age seven, one year before her baptism. When her parents divorced three years later, her father fled the influence of the church. Her mother had other plans. “When I was twelve the temple in Las Vegas was being built and dedicated, and you needed to have a recommendation from the church to go in,” Stacey tells me. “So I was brought into this guy’s office. The door is shut, my mom’s out in the lobby, and he’s asking me if I’ve ever had sex, have I masturbated, did I do drugs, watch pornography, smoked, the whole thing.” Holland wanted nothing to do with that scene. She moved back to the St. Louis region to be with her dad, but the church still wasn’t ready to let her go. “They keep finding me,” she says. “We had moved a couple different times, and they would track me down each time. They keep going back to my dad’s house, monthly, asking for me. We ended up threatening restraining orders.” But there are moments, as when she lost her job two years ago, when Holland entertains the thought of going back. Her mother, of course, urged her wayward daughter to return to the fold. You’re a full member of the Mormon church, she told Stacey. They can find you a job. They can put you back on your feet. Holland didn’t want that life. But at the same time, she fantasized about that life. It’s a uniquely atheist bind. An Orthodox Jewish community may be stitched together with Sabbath meals and prayer services, but it wasn’t the rabbi’s sermon that delivered home-cooked meals for my mother after she underwent surgery. Matzo ball soup didn’t land me or my friends summer jobs. Whether Judaism or Mormonism, organized religion provides an unmatched safety net. Surprisingly, Holland points to Gojko standing on other side of the room. “That young lady over there,” she says, “she’s been dealing with her own personal stuff, and people here are saying, ‘Yeah, we’ll help you, we’ve got your back.’ That’s what has to be broken down, the feeling that we’re the only ones out here. There’s real safety in numbers.” Holland has a point, but the hard truth is that atheism, in its current forms, can’t match the benefits package available at the nearest church. Tamatha Crowson, a “relatively new atheist” from Cape Girardeau, has the same thing on her mind as she browses pamphlets for the Foundation Beyond Belief’s Humanist Disaster Recovery Teams. The organization, the first of its kind, aims to train groups of atheist first 18

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Satanic Temple spokesman Doug Mesner doesn’t advocate belief in a literal Satan, but that doesn’t make his message any more palatable for Christians.

“That’s what has to be broken down, the feeling that we’re the only ones out here. There’s real safety in numbers.” responders all over the world. Crowson says it’s exactly what she’s been looking for. “I’ve been really interested lately in secular charity work,” she says. “I have a friend who is in the last stages of cancer. He’s a single dad of a couple girls, and I recently did a pretty large-scale fundraising mission for him. I felt very useful, so I’ve been thinking: How can I rally people that are not in churches to help people in need?” Crowson has gone through different stages of religious observance. When she had her

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kids, she worried that she didn’t have any value system to offer them. So she became a Southern Baptist, but later left religion after she was expelled from a faith-based addiction treatment program. “I was so disappointed, not because I was kicked out, but because everything I’d been told about love and charity and grace and help — it didn’t apply when you didn’t fit into their mold anymore. That really set me off on a mission to spread some other kind of love.” On Sunday, Crowson is in the audience

when Hemant Mehta, a blogger and activist, echoes her wish for a more proactive and engaged atheism. “We have to find a way to make people feel important, like they’re part of something, to give them a purpose. We as atheists don’t do that as a whole. We’re not good at that. We like to come together, we like to laugh at religion, and then we leave.” Religious communities, on the other hand, offer daycare, youth activities and mission trips — a sense of belonging and contribution. Answers to the Big Questions. Weekly potluck dinners. “I can rattle off a bunch of reasons why God doesn’t exist, but it’s really hard, from what I’ve seen, for atheists to connect on a more emotional level,” Mehta continues. “Why are we here? What’s our purpose? Where are we going to go after we die? We all know the answer the church offers to those questions. Now, it’s wrong, it’s not true, they’re selling you this lie and they’re offering false hope. I don’t want to do that. I want to offer words of honesty, but honesty doesn’t always make us feel better. So how do we overcome that? How do we talk about death so that people actually listen? How do you talk to an atheist about losing a child?”

f ever there were a perfect spokesman for a group of atheistic, abortion-loving Satanists, it’s Doug Mesner. The founder of the Satanic Temple has a gray, almost translucent pallor. He wears a black buttondown shirt over dark pants. His right eye is clouded-over and unfocused; the left is green and piercing. He kind of continued on page 21

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Atheists continued from page 18

looks like a vampire. Up until 2013, Mesner hid his identity behind the persona of “Lucien Greaves,” a suitably demonic-sounding name that allowed him to insulate his real life from the people who consider him a disciple of the antichrist. OK, but what does the the Satanic Temple actually stand for, I ask Mesner. Is it, as others have suggested, nothing but a piece of trollish performance art, a practical joke pushed too far? A new-age cult? “I think this is what religion is supposed to be,” Mesner says matter-of-factly. “I think we’re bringing it back to that kind of original conception.” I wasn’t expecting that answer. This is the same guy who just two weeks prior stood on a stage in a Detroit warehouse and unveiled an eight-foot statute of the goat-headed Pagan god Baphomet. Last week, the Temple formally applied for permission to install the Baphomet statute on Arkansas’ capitol grounds, a pointed reaction to the state’s plans to build a monument depicting the Ten Commandments in the same location. “I think the biggest mistake the atheist movement makes is discarding religion entirely,” Mesner says. “To a lot of people, that sounds paradoxical. To them, atheism means no religion. But I don’t think that’s true at all. Atheism means you don’t worship a personal deity. That’s all it means. Religion can be something based on metaphor. It can be this cultural construct in the sense of cultural identity, and it gives you that sense of community.” Mesner is betting that he can extend this argument to the courts, and it’s certainly possible that judges will balk at granting a metaphorical religion the same legal rights as followers of mainstream faiths. But this is the fight Mesner wants. “If you concede that religion belongs solely to supernaturalists, then you’re giving privilege to supernaturalism. In effect you’re saying that your own deeply held values, your own sense of cultural identity, isn’t as valuable as that of the superstitious.” There’s something undeniably edgy and exciting in the Satanic Temple’s approach. Mesner and his black-dressed colleagues are betting they can use atheistic Satanism to break through the societal walls that preserve religious privilege for a select set of faiths. If the Satanists succeed, they could fundamentally change religious life in America as we know it. I bid farewell to Mesner and take my leave of the Gateway to Reason conference. A summer wind blows through the empty campus. In less than a month, these sidewalks will be crushed with students riding bikes and lugging backpacks. Mesner’s last point is still worming through my head. I remember myself as a 22-year-old college senior who secretly bought Jimmy John’s and hid the non-kosher evidence from his roommate. Is the freedom to eat delicious sandwiches more important than following the 3,500-year tradition of my forefathers? Is the freedom more meaningful than honoring the wishes of my parents and teachers?

Oy vey, indeed. There came a point, toward the beginning of my senior year of college, when I had to give it all up. I had stop hiding Jimmy John’s wrappers. I had to stop pretending that I kept the Sabbath. I even stopped wearing the yarmulke — that was lot harder than the rabbi made it seem during his speech to my yeshiva class. After wearing the yarmulke for twenty years, I had grown comfortable dealing with awkward questions posed by bystanders at movies or baseball games. They’d ask, “Why do you wear that thing on your head?” “Well,” I’d always answer, “Jewish men wear it as a reminder that God is always above us.” The yarmulke wasn’t just a disc of fabric. It was a part of my identity, the thing that made

me stand out in any crowd. It was a constant reminder to me of what my high school rabbis would say before every summer vacation: Whatever you do, don’t embarrass the Jews or God, don’t be a Chillul Hashem. With the yarmulke on, I could never escape my identity as a Jew. Every action was meaningful and representational, a reflection of God’s commandment to be a light unto the nations, part of a chosen people. It was a moral weight clipped to my hair. The moment I took the yarmulke off, I looked like everybody else. Just another human. “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” wrote Hillel, the great Babylonian Torah scholar and commentator. It’s the first verse of Hillel’s most famous teaching, repeated

in countless sermons and recited by yeshiva students for more than 2,000 years. Yet it always sounded odd to me, coming from a presumably devout and holy rabbi. Isn’t God for everyone? Isn’t that the point? If time moved backward, I’d visit the dusty Babylonian study hall at the very moment Hillel wrote those words. I’d ask him about Jimmy John’s sandwiches and yarmulkes and slavery. Maybe Hillel knew, way back then, what was to come. When his pen struck parchment, maybe he was thinking of people like Gabrielle Gojko, Tamatha Crowson and Stacey Holland. Maybe he was thinking of Jews like me. “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” Hillel wrote. “If I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?” ■

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NIGHT + DAY ®

WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 16–22

Bright Spirit of Marimekko, taken June 24, 1966, by Tony Vaccaro for cover of LIFE magazine © Tony Vaccaro.

F R I D AY |09.18 [DANCE]

DINE ON DANCE

When a breeze blows the grass, the blades move and dance independently, yet of one accord. With Dawn Karlovsky’s Dine on Dance outdoor concerts, which feature contemporary dance and live music, the dancers, too, perform individually but in chorus, all inspired by a single source: their surroundings. The first Dine on Dance concert happens at noon on Friday, September 18, at Strauss Park (Washington and North Grand boulevards), and you can

bet that this green space’s grass and trees will play a part in the works performed by the dancers, some of whom are Grand Center Arts Academy students. The second concert is presented at noon on Thursday, September 24, at the Old Post Office Plaza (North Ninth and Locust streets), with its water feature enjoying a starring role. Both lunchtime concerts are free, and brown-bagging it is encouraged; visit www.karlovskydance.org for more information. — ALISON SIELOFF [THEATER]

SHAKESPEARE IN THE STREETS

Unless you are an actor, “Shakespeare performance proficiency” is not a skill likely

to wind up on your résumé. However, for several residents of Old North St. Louis, this uncommon competence shall be theirs after Shakespeare Festival St. Louis’ Shakespeare in the Streets (www.sfstl.com). The group performs The World Begun, an adaptation of Twelfth Night, on North 14th Street (between Montgomery Street and St. Louis Avenue). Residents are joined onstage by professional actors, and together, they sprinkle the neighborhood’s stories throughout Shakespearean comedic action. The World Begun is staged at 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday (September 17 through 19), and admission is free; bring your own lawn chair. — ALISON SIELOFF

[THEATER]

SEMINAR

If you wish to become a writer, Leonard is the man you contact. He’s the editor/tyrant who can hone your prose to a razor-sharp point, or carve you up one side and down the other for your failings. Four adult students have just paid Leonard $10,000 each for the privilege of a ten-week writing class in an Upper West Side apartment. Over the course of those ten weeks, they will bicker, spar and flirt while Leonard denounces their talents, their intentions and their chances of becoming successful writers. St. Louis Actors’ Studio opens its ninth season with Theresa Rebeck’s comedy continued on page 24

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continued from page 23

Seminar. Performances take place at 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday (September 18 through October 4) at the Gaslight Theater (358 North Boyle Avenue; 314-458-2978 or www.stlas.org). Tickets are $30 to $35. — PAUL FRISWOLD

www.globalbrew.com). Trailers will dispense ten German-style brews as well as six craftbeer options. Food is available from the acclaimed restaurant Cleveland-Heath, and there’s live music on tap of both a traditional and contemporary Bavarian bent. The event is free to the public and runs from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. today. — ALEX WEIR

S AT U R D AY |09.19

[DOCUMENTARY]

[ F E S T I VA L ]

OKTOBERFEST

It’s an open secret: Edwardsville is cool. Hell, it’s always been cool in an appealingly modest, quiet way to those of us who’ve been friends with it for years. Now, however, the town (the third oldest city in the state of Illinois, first settled in 1805) boasts a nice ‘n’ easy blend of mellowness with urbane amenities and culture. Today, you can eat well in Edwardsville; you can drink well there, too. Especially this weekend, as E’ville’s Global Brew Tap House hosts its second annual Oktoberfest today in Edwardsville City Park (Illinois Route 159 and South Buchanan Street, Edwardsville, Illinois; 618-307-5858 or

RIVERFRONT TIMES

BLACK PANTHERS: VANGUARD OF THE REVOLUTION

The Black Panthers commanded national awareness from the moment the group formed in 1966. Whether you were a fellow radical, an average observer sympathetic to civil-rights expansion but fearful of violent measures designed to speed its fruition, in law enforcement (most especially the FBI), or just a plain-vanilla bigot, you paid attention to the Panthers. The party’s leaders, Huey Newton and Bobby Seale, were notorious — revered by many, reviled and feared by many. The Panthers have been extensively chronicled, analyzed and debated within a multitude of books and academic papers, but until now the medium of film had lagged behind. The Black

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Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution catches it up. Stanley Nelson’s new PBS-funded documentary synthesizes historical data, archival footage and interviews to present a richly detailed view of this decisive period in our country’s story. Vanguard screens at 7:30 p.m. Friday through Sunday (September 18 through 20) at Webster University’s Moore Auditorium (470 East Lockwood Avenue; 314968-7487 or www.webster.edu/film-series). Tickets are $4 to $6. — ALEX WEIR [ART EXHIBIT]

BLOW-UP: GRAPHIC ABSTRACTION IN 1960S DESIGN

With an eye for the beautiful and a sense for the tough-to-replicate, St. Louis curators put together some of the most captivating exhibits. Such is the case with Blow-Up: Graphic Abstraction in 1960s Design, curated by Genny Cortinovis. The show celebrates the large-scale, abstract patterns in the fabrics, furnishing and fashions of the 1960s. Anyone with a love of style will drool (neatly) over the gorgeous Marimekko textiles, as well as Ettorre Sottsass Jr.’s redand-white-striped Superbox wardrobe and

Gaetano Pesce’s UP 1 chair. Tony Vaccaro’s photographs of a Scandinavian design festival sponsored by Famous-Barr in 1966 round out the exhibition. Blow-Up is on display in gallery 100 at the Saint Louis Art Museum in Forest Park (314-721-0072 or www.slam.org) through Sunday, March 20, 2016. The museum is open every day except Monday. Admission is free. — BROOKE FOSTER

S U N D AY |09.20 [KID’S BOOKS]

PUNK ROCK PLAYDATE

Parents: If you equate “artistic awareness” with the dire hellscape that is Caillou, it’s really time to turn off the TV and introduce the sprogs to something truly amazing. Do so today at 11 a.m. the Punk Rock Playdate with Eric Morse at Subterranean Books (6275 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314862-6100 or www.subbooks.com). St. Louis native, entrepreneur and (now) children’sbook author Morse reads from What Is Punk?, his fantastic new book illustrated with Anny Yi’s playful clay figures. Show

BEX FINCH

the kiddos what changed your world when you were young with this punk primer. The reading is followed by a coloring activity and a punk sing-along. Admission is free. — BROOKE FOSTER

T U E S D AY |09.22

[LITERARY EVENT]

IAN DOESCHER

William Shakespeare’s renown grew by leaps and bounds during his lifetime, and he and his works remain wildly popular 399 years after his death. George Lucas...uh, is by all accounts a really nice guy. If anyone can revive Lucas’ flagging reputation, it would be the greatest English playwright — maybe he can come back as some sort of Force ghost that looks like Hayden Christensen? Or maybe Ian Doescher is the next best thing to a revived Bard. Doescher recasts each Star Wars film as a Shakespearean drama told in iambic pentameter in his William Shakespeare’s Star Wars series. Tragedy of the Sith’s Revenge is the sixth installment; it tells of Anakin Skywalker’s descent into the

dark side, the sundering of his marriage to Padme and the shattering of the Jedi order. Tonight at 7 p.m. Doescher visits Left Bank Books (399 North Euclid Avenue; 314-3676731 or www.left-bank.com) for a staged reading of the book, with help from St. Louis Shakespeare actors. Members of the 501st Legion of Stormtroopers and the Rebel Legion will also attend — it should be an unusual evening. Admission is free. — PAUL FRISWOLD

unpredictability of city buses to which small animals you should love as pets and which you should poison. An extraordinary storyteller, Hodgman has shared his tales on a TED Conference mainstage, on This American Life and now: with you. Hodgman goes on at 8 p.m. tonight at the Ready Room (4195 Manchester Avenue; 314-833-3929 or www.thereadyroom.com). Tickets are $25. — BROOKE FOSTER

W E D N E S D AY |09.23

PSYCHO

[COMEDY]

JOHN HODGMAN: VACATIONLAND

John Hodgman — that cataloger of all things weird and wonderful, that expert in absolutely everything — visits St. Louis tonight with his new one-man show, Vacationland. The bespectacled Renaissance man, who gained fame on The Daily Show (and as an anthropomorphized PC in those ubiquitous commercials), shares his collection of stories about everything from the creepy Dad mustache to the terrifying

[HITCHCOCK]

From the left: The Black Panthers, John Hodgman and Psycho. considered a vanguard of suspense cinema. Psycho screens at 2 and 7 p.m. Sunday and Wednesday (September 20 and 23) at Wehrenberg Ronnies 20 Cine (5320 South Lindbergh Boulevard; 314-843-4336 or www. fathomevents.com). Admission is $12.50. — ROB LEVY Planning an event, exhibiting your art or putting on a play? Let us know and we’ll include it in the Night & Day section or publish a listing in the online calendar — for free! Send details via e-mail (calendar@riverfronttimes.com), fax (314-754-6416) or mail (6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130, attn: Calendar). Include the date, time, price, contact information and location (including ZIP code). Please submit information three weeks prior to the date of your event. No telephone submissions will be accepted. Find more events online at www.riverfronttimes.com.

For 55 years Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho has made audiences apprehensive about taking a shower. Now TCM and Fathom Events bring this bloody thriller back to the big screen. Janet Leigh stars a woman who skips town after embezzling money in order to meet her lover in California. En route she checks in to the Bates Motel where she meets the unsettling Norman (Anthony Perkins), a seemingly timid manager and taxidermist whose overbearing mother pushes him over the edge. Based on Robert Bloch’s novel and featuring Bernard Herrmann’s groundbreaking score, Psycho is

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film Peak Mystery MERU DOCUMENTS THE FIRST MEN TO CLIMB A TOUGH PEAK, BUT DOESN’T EXPLAIN WHY Meru Directed by Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi. Starring Conrad Anker, Jimmy Chin and Grace Chin. Now screening at the Landmark Tivoli Theatre, 6350 Delmar Boulevard, University City. Call 314-727-7271 or visit www.landmarktheatres.com.

Above: Jimmy Chin working his way up Meru. Below: Renan Ozturk doing what he loves.

achievement of its subjects, Meru is one of many recent documentaries which tries to establish the importance of an event merely by talking about it from all directions. If, like me, you don’t know much about climbing (the “because it’s there” attitude has never really seemed much of an explanation), you aren’t going to learn it here. And like other recent “great event” films, the things we see in the film are countered by the many things that remained unmentioned. What is all that equipment, and what did climbers do centuries ago before they had all of the hightech tools? Is rock climbing a real profession? Who’s paying for all of this? (The answer to that last question, as it turns out, is the sports retailer the North Face). The makers of Meru (climber Chin and his wife) aren’t really interested in helping the viewer understand how or why the men succeeded; they just want you to cheer them on. ■

C O U R T E SY O F M U S I C B OX F I L M S / J I M M Y C H I N

ccording to climbing experts, India’s Meru Peak — specifically its 20,700-foottall central point, Shark’s Fin — is considered the most difficult mountain climb in the world. The summit had never been reached by any human until (sorry, but it’s impossible to discuss this without giving it away) the 2011 expedition chronicled in the film Meru. Conrad BY Anker and Jimmy Chin, renowned mountaineers who ROBERT had worked together for several years, and Renan Ozturk HUNT (a relatively new member of their team), first attempted to scale Shark’s Fin in 2008. Mid-climb, they were thrown off schedule by a storm that left them unable to move for several days. Despite this exhausting most of their supplies, they persisted for almost two weeks longer than their original plan. They were ultimately forced to retreat just 100 meters away from the peak. Three years later they returned for another try, despite Ozturk suffering a severe skull fracture and spinal injuries in an avalanche a few months prior. This time they succeeded in reaching the top, a feat which has yet to be repeated. Meru, based on footage Chin shot on both expeditions, is filled with predictably breathtaking scenery, a lot of candid footage and a small amount of background material that tells the viewer more about the personalities of the three men than about the details of mountaineering. This, I suspect, is a film for the fan base, like the surfing and skiing films that pop up at private screenings from time to time. The story is not without interest (and more time is spent on the failed expedition than on the final victory, perhaps because it’s more dramatic), but it’s not much more than a lot of home video — very highquality home video, admittedly — patched together with talking-head interviews and influenced editorially by the bombast and bad habits of reality television. This is a film in which we hear people talk about things they did as often as we actually see them in action. Though it in no way diminishes the

C O U R T E SY O F M U S I C B OX F I L M S / R E N A N O Z T U R K

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STILL ROLLING

Do Nana and Pop Pop seem menacing to you?

OUR ONGOING, OCCASIONALLY SMARTASS, DEFINITELY UNOFFICIAL GUIDE TO WHAT’S PLAYING IN ST. LOUIS THEATERS Though you’re advised against judging a book by its cover, every once in awhile you can pretty accurately gauge a movie’s creativity by its title. UNIVERSAL PICTURES

The Perfect Guy is one of those movies. It

RSVP (Emphasis on “Regrets”) M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN GOES ON A FOUND-FOOTAGE JOURNEY THAT (SURPRISE!) ENDS WITH A TWIST The Visit Directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan and Peter McRobbie. Now playing at multiple theaters.

think I’ve figured out the secret of M. Night Shyamalan. His “twist,” if you will. I bet he turns out to be an alien sent to Earth to study humanity. Looking for our weak spots, maybe...except he really doesn’t have even the first clue about us, and his experiments — which have so far taken the shape of movies — mostly go all wrong. He may have imagined, with his flawed understanding of what makes us tick, that The Village and The Happening and (dear God) After Earth were insightful explorations of the human psyche. Or — oh, I bet this is it! — it’s all been one big ongoing test of our patience: How long will we suffer being poked, prodded and generally annoyed if the first such poking (that would be The Sixth Sense) isn’t unpleasant? Obviously, Hollywood would have to be in on it. And to be fair, studios headed up by nefarious aliens that mean humankind no good would explain a lot. Alas, what’s actually going on with Shyamalan — in the great tradition of Shyamalan — is likely so ridiculously mundane as to be barely worth discussing. Maybe he really is just a guy who had one, maybe two (Unbreakable, anyone?), decent films in him. Bor-ring! And now we have The Visit, which is another terrible Shyamalan movie that relies on people behaving in ways real people wouldn’t behave in a situation that makes no damn sense at all because otherwise there would be no story. And — also in the grand tradition of Shyamalan — there’s pretty much no story anyway. A couple of kids — fifteen-ish Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and her little brother, Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), who’s about twelve — spend a week with their mother’s parents, Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie), and maybe there’s odd doings

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afoot at their remote rural Pennsylvania house. Is Pop Pop up to something nasty in the woodshed? Does Nana’s penchant for strange nocturnal behavior mean she’s a werewolf? Why shouldn’t the kids, as Pop Pop instructs, come out of their room after 9:30 at night? Why shouldn’t they go into the basement? Is mold really the only unpleasant thing down there? Here’s a “twist” that came as quite an irritating surprise to me as The Visit opened: This is Shyamalan’s found-footage movie, and if he thought he had something to add to this long-played-out technique, there is no evidence of it here. In fact, it appears to be something of a dodge: Becca, bursting with all the pretensions of teenage auteurs, is making a documentary about their trip to share with Mom (Kathryn Hahn), who hasn’t seen her parents in fifteen years after a falling out that Mom refuses to talk about. (Would a loving mother, as she appears to be, really let her kids go off on their own to the home of, to them, total strangers? But that’s the least of the plausibility problems with how this scenario comes about.) Is Becca Shyamalan’s shield? Will he claim he was sending up affected, self-important young indie filmmakers who aren’t able to craft an effective movie or tell an entertaining story? (As is almost always the case, the found-footage conceit eventually collapses into people running around with cameras when cameras should be the last thing on their minds.) There appears to be a movie happening here, but it’s all flimsy, half-hearted feints at empty air. Becca’s explanation to her brother about how old people get sad and confused and have medical issues and there’s nothing wrong or creepy about that may be true — and it’s certainly nice to see older people figuring in what amounts to a horror movie — but that turns out to be a dead-end sidetrack. A few mentions of “the elixir” that Becca would like to acquire for Mom, something that will help heal her relationship with her parents, sounds intriguing, and means nothing. The Visit never gets anywhere near any meaningful — or even shallow — exploration of the relationship between grandparents and grandkids, or family secrets. And though it clearly hopes to elicit emotions along those charged tracks, it does nothing but inspire outrage that Shyamalan has, once again, managed to trick us into wasting our time on anticlimactic banality. —MARYANN JOHANSON

should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that it’s not a giddily happy flick about falling in love with a guy who always files income taxes on time, is great at packing a cooler and gives really nice hugs. But really, watching someone pack a cooler for 100 minutes would be infinitely more interesting than the predictable motions this Guy runs us through: Threatens pet? Check. A shower scene? Check. Improbable security breaches? Check. Still managing to pull in almost $26 million on opening weekend? Ugh. Check. ● Robert Redford, star of A

Walk in the Woods, bought the rights to Bill Bryson’s travelogue of the same name way back in 2005, long before “hiking the Appalachian trail” became the best euphemism ever for cheating on your spouse (gracias, Mark Sanford!) and Reese Witherspoon made hiking crunchy-cool again in Wild. In the intervening ten years, walking-to-find-oneself is a path that’s frequently taken in film, becoming a subgenre all its own — with a popularity that suggests, when given the choice, most people would rather see the movie than read the book about pushing the limits. Anything other than actual, physical activity. Like, um, hiking, for example. ● More than 60 percent of Americans do not own a passport, and the film No Escape is hardly a commercial for getting one — or for promoting tourism in Asia, where fewer than 5 million of us ventured last year, for that matter. Owen Wilson plays Jack, a married American father of two, who relocates there for work (the exact country is never revealed, but all of Asia is pretty much the same, so NBD?). But the timing is terrible: There’s a coup, and the uprisers’ main concern seems to be killing the Dwyers, because they hate our freedom or money or something. It’s not easy trying to outrun these machete-wielding foreigners as a family of four...and that’s probably why most of us just go to Destin. — Kristie McClanahan

Bottle Cellars

Come See Our Newly Remodeled Dining Room!

Homemade Authentic Lebanese Food

Patrick Ahearn opened Bottle Cellars in Oakville back in 2010 with the idea of bringing worldly yet accessible wine to those who might otherwise be wary of the whole wine-buying process – one he concedes can be complicated and confusing. “My hope is that people can learn a little something. An educated customer is a good customer,” he says. With a laid-back approach and thoughtful touches – such as organizing the nearly 300 wines from light to full-bodied, complete with food pairings and detailed tasting notes for each – Ahearn and his friendly staff have succeeded mightily. He particularly enjoys carrying lesser-known wines that are hidden gems in their own right; he estimates that 75 percent of the wines he sells are under $25. In May, he opened the adjacent Cellar House, a sleek yet inviting wine bar. For a $10 corkage fee, patrons can enjoy their just-purchased bottle, as well as small plates (think cheese and charcuterie boards, flatbreads and sliders) from head chef Scott Monteith. But the best way to explore the constantly rotating selection is through wine flights: Build your own by choosing from among several three-ounce pours, and you’ll find a new favorite in no time. If wine’s not your thing, delve into Cellar House’s classic and house cocktails (sixteen in total) developed by bar manager Shawn Sullivan: The “Leo’s Lair,” with Lion’s Tooth dandelion liqueur and Rally Point rye that’s been infused with dried apricot and vanilla bean, is a popular one. There’s also a full spirits list, five beers on tap and another couple dozen in cans and bottles. Ahearn is fond of quoting vintner Charles Smith — “It’s just booze. Drink it!” — and Bottle Cellars and Cellar House are charming places to do just that. And, yes, maybe even learn a little something.

6039 Telegraph road • 314-846-5100 • boTTlecellars.com

Kafta Kabab

Chicken Shawarma 2015

WINNER

2010 & 2012 Best of St. Louis Winner Best Middle Eastern Restaurant 2013 Best French Fry

2013 Favorite Lebanese RFT Restaurants

3171 South Grand thevinestl.com (314) 776-0991

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Three Kings is known around town as having a Great Craft Beer list, but now we are just as famous for our Upscale, Global Pub Food as well as our Award Winning Atmosphere.

Best New Bar - 2011 Best Happy Hour - 2014 Favorite New Restaurant - 2012 Favorite Appetizers & Wraps - 2014 Favorite Atmosphere & Creative Appetizers - 2015 LOOP 6307 Delmar Blvd. U. City, MO 63130 314-721-3355

DES PERES 11925 Manchester Des Peres, MO 63131 314-815-3455

THREEKINGSPUB.COM 30

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MABEL SUEN

cafe

Happy Go Lucky CHEF RENE CRUZ’S LUCKY BUDDHA IS A SURPRISING TREAT IN SOUTH ST. LOUIS Lucky Buddha 3701 South Jefferson Avenue; 314-833-4568. Tues.-Thurs. 5-10 p.m.; Fri. 5-11 p.m.; Sat. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. (Closed Mondays).

ucky Buddha should be a catastrophe. A panAsian craft-cocktail lounge? Individually, each of those phrases is problematic; together they induce the kind of grimace that’s usually reserved for, say, nails on a chalkboard. The red flags continue inside BY the seven-month-old Gravois Park restaurant — menu items C H E RY L unavailable, the house signature spring rolls unable to be served BAEHR because they kept falling apart

A selection of dishes from Lucky Buddha: “Porkapocalypse” banh mi, gochujang steamed buns, udon noodle bowl and “Tom Yum Goong.”

in the fryer. These are the details that make you question whether a restaurant will survive the month. But then chef Rene Cruz, who could be the incarnation of the restaurant’s namesake, walks out of the kitchen to personally deliver a plate of “Tom Yum Goong.” The delicate, pentagonal wontons — filled with real crab meat and chile, lime and lemongrass-infused cream cheese — are to crab Rangoon what pâté en terrine is to braunschweiger. Cruz smiles when he places them before you, as if he knows that one bite will instantly assuage any misgivings about the restaurant. And he’s right. Cruz should know what it takes to please diners. The industry veteran’s culinary career is even more eclectic than the Thai-JapaneseVietnamese/anything-east-of-India-influenced Lucky Buddha. He’s done Spanish-style tapas at Mosaic, Eastern European food at Red, Mexican at Rosalita’s Cantina and good old American at Stable. (Conventional wisdom also credits Cruz

with being the first chef in St. Louis to tinker bourbon slush, tastes as if the bartender mixed around with molecular gastronomy.) When he a mint julep and a mojito, then threw in some and business partner Kirk Apazeller opened muddled cucumber for good measure. Keyan Lucky Buddha back in FebruStill of Planter’s House and ary, the pair envisioned an AsianRobust helped develop Lucky Buddha themed menu that would draw Lucky Buddha’s accessible Gochujang pork from, and combine, the spectrum yet interesting cocktail list. yakatori .................... $5 of Far East flavors. Would someone have told me Gochujang pork From the outside, Lucky that I’d be waxing poetically steam buns .............. $7 Buddha blends in as a typical about an Old Granddad and Ramen with pork belly ................ $13 South Jefferson two-story brick cucumber cocktail, I’d have storefront. Inside, though, the laughed. That’s why Still has restaurant looks like it would be a bar consulting business and more at home on Washington Avenue. Its most I don’t. prominent feature is the cerulean walls, which Food at Lucky Buddha runs the gamut from serve as a backdrop for bright Japanese anime straightforward Asian fare to playful riffs on othmurals and black and white photographs from erwise classic dishes. Thai chicken wings don’t Godzilla. exactly push the envelope, but they are a quintThe large wooden bar top is painted the essential rendering of the Asian-style chicken same blue as the walls — not that you’ll be pay- wing genre — or, as my friend put it, what you ing much attention once the bartender hands hope you get when you order Thai chicken you a “Summer Smash.” The refreshing drink, wings but rarely do. The plump drummies and served over crushed ice so that it resembles a wings are tossed in sweet continued on page 32 riverfronttimes.com riverfronttimes.com S E P TME O MNBTEHR X1 X–X 6 - 2 2X, , 2200105X RRI IVVEERRFFRROONNTT TTI IMMEESS 311

MABEL SUEN

“Tom Yum Goong” and the “Summer Smash” cocktail.

Lucky Buddha

continued from page 31

SEPT 17

7PM ASHLEY RILEY (DECATUR, IL) 8:15PM ROMA RANSOM (COLORADO SPRINGS, CO) 9:30PM THREE’S A CHARM (CHICAGO, IL) SEPT 18 7PM PIK’N LIK’N 10:30PM ANDREW ADKINS (NASHVILLE, TN) SEPT 19 7PM SLIM SEMORA (HOUSTON, TX) 8:15PM DARYL SHAWN (PITTSBURGH, PA) 9:15PM FORMER FRIENDS OF YOUNG AMERICANS (BOWLING GREEN, KY) 32

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SEPT 20 SEPT 21

11AM 7PM

SEPT 22 SEPT 23

7PM 7PM 9PM

MISS JUBILEE SWING JAZZ BRUNCH SINGER/SONGWRITER NIGHT HOSTED BY ED BELLING ERIC SLAUGHTER & JAY HUTSON TOM HALL FROM GEYER STREET SHEIKS COLE WASHBURN (ARLINGTON, TN)

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and spicy chile glaze then sprinkled with sesame seeds. Traditional Japanese gyoza are stuffed with ground pork but served with a peanut dipping sauce for a Southeast Asian twist — though I would have preferred a brighter or spicier condiment to cut through the rich dumpling. Lucky Buddha offers several options for its Japanese yakitori, which is skewered meat cooked over charcoal. Cruz plays on Korea’s equally excellent barbecue culture by offering pork belly marinated in gochujang, a Korean fermented chile and soybean condiment. The marinade adds enough spice to complement the decadent pork; cooking it over an open flame caramelizes the sauce and fat together, forming glorious char-kissed sweet and salty nuggets. This dish is the restaurant at its best. The beef tataki and radish salad, however, fell flat. Oddly, the two parts of the dish were served on separate parts of the plate — and seemed to resist combination. When paired with the accompanying citrus-spiked greens and julienne vegetable salad, the beef took on some flavor, though not enough to make it anything but bland and under-seasoned. I was equally disappointed with the ramen. The broth, a tare fortified chicken stock, was so rich with anise that it overwhelmed all other flavors, including the surprisingly lean pork belly I’d chosen to add. The biggest problem, however, were the noodles: They were so stuck together that when I went to pick up a small amount, the entire bowlful came with it. I had to use a fork to cut them up.

The chef smiles when he places the “Tom Yum Goong” before you, as if he knows that one bite will assuage any misgivings about the restaurant. Simple and well-executed steam buns — I tried one filled with strips of melt-in-the-mouth gochujang pork; another with marinated shiitake mushrooms — are dressed with pickled daikon, carrots, cilantro and sliced jalapeños. They are the Jackie to the Marilyn — actually, scratch that. They are the Jackie to the Bettie Page that is the “Porkapocalypse.” As for that sandwich. Lucky Buddha offers five riffs on the classic Vietnamese banh mi, all of which sound fairly normal other than the wonderfully named pork version. And it’s fair to say this over-the-top bombshell of a sandwich does not disappoint. It starts with soft French bread and piles on four kinds of pork: char sui shoulder, gochujang loin, five-spice belly and liver pâté. Pungent Japanese mustard and crisp vegetables offer a welcome counter to all of that pig. It should be a complete mess, but Cruz has the finesse to make it work. You could also say the same for Lucky Buddha. ■

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short orders [CHEF CHAT]

Pint Size Chef Has Big Ambitions

RIVERFRONT TIMES

J E N N I F E R S I LV E R B E R G

Left: Nancy Boehm. Above: Prune plum upside-down teacakes.

MABEL SUEN

ancy Boehm of Pint Size Bakery (3825 Watson Road; 314-645-7142) remembers the first time she baked a pie. She was somewhere around ten years old and heard her mom make a passing comment about a bowl of overripe peaches as she headed out to the store. “She said, ‘These will be great for a pie,’” Boehm recalls. “I thought, ‘Pie — I can do that.’” By the time her mom had returned, Boehm had a from-scratch peach pie cooling on the counter. Boehm credits her fearlessness with getting her to where she is in the pastry world. “I’ve never really been afraid to try new things,” she explains. “Like with my first pie, I just opened a cookbook and followed directions. It never occurred to me to be scared.” Boehm has approached her culinary career with confidence. Having grown up in a house where everyone cared about food, she was inspired at an early age to pursue cooking. Her mom was her mentor, making all of the family’s food from scratch and teaching her the importance of having real food as a part of everyday life. After high school, Boehm enrolled in Johnson & Wales culinary school in Rhode Island and immediately decided to focus on pastry. After some time working on the East Coast — including at the prestigious Mount Washington Resort in Bretton Woods — Boehm returned to St. Louis to be closer to her family. She took a job at Le Cordon Bleu as a chef instructor, where she met Pint Size’s founder, Christy Augustin. “Christy wanted to open a bakery, and we talked about doing it together,” recalls Boehm. “I just wasn’t in the place to do it at the time, though. At my wedding, my mom actually went up to Christy and told her to talk me into it. It worked, and I’ve been with Pint Size for a little over a year now.” Boehm laughs when asked about her relationship with her mom now that she is an established baker. “Well, my mom was always more of a savory cook,” she notes. “But there was a really strange turning point where it went from from her critiquing me to me critiquing her. But we work well together.” Boehm took a break from making Pint Size’s signature salted-caramel croissants to share her thoughts on the St. Louis food and beverage scene, what she’d be doing if she weren’t a chef and why lavender should stay in the garden. What is one thing people don’t know about you that you wish they did? I am a total introvert. I need a certain amount of alone time every day to recharge my batteries.

What daily ritual is non-negotiable for you? A hot shower before I go to bed. I’m pretty infamous in my family for using up all the hot water. It’s one of the only things that really helps me relax and clear my head. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? I often think it would be great to have an extra set of arms, especially when I’m working. Unfortunately, it would be really hard to find shirts. What is the most positive thing in food, wine or cocktails that you’ve noticed in St. Louis over the past year? I have noticed a trend towards very casual and approachable food. So many chefs are cooking the food that they love to eat, like fried chicken, barbecue, tacos and other street food.

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It’s not fancy, but it’s executed with the same care and passion that we expect in a fine-dining restaurant. Who is your St. Louis food crush? Southern’s Rick Lewis is pretty dreamy. Who doesn’t like a man who can hunt, grow and cook his own meals? Mostly I just think he’s a sweetheart and very lucky to have his equally sweet wife, Elisa. Who’s the one person to watch right now in the St. Louis dining scene? Definitely Marie-Anne Velasco. She is opening a noodle shop with Mai Lee’s Qui Tran early next year. She is a ball of smiles and energy, plus she truly loves and understands food. I can’t wait for that ramen! Which ingredient is most representative of your personality?

A former coworker used to call me Peaches. He said I was fuzzy on the outside with a soft and sweet inside, but at the very center I was hard as a rock. That seems about right. If you weren’t working in the restaurant business, what would you be doing? I really think I would enjoy being an accountant. There is a part of my brain that is very logical. I love problem solving, and making all the numbers fit together just right is always fun. Plus, I could have a manicure and wear cuter shoes to work. Name an ingredient never allowed in your kitchen. Lavender. I don’t care how subtle it is, anything made with lavender tastes like fancy bathroom soaps. I had my mouth washed out with soap a couple times as a child. It’s not pleasant, and I don’t want to repeat the experience. What is your after-work hangout? I’m a homebody for sure, but lately I’ve had a lot of fun at the Skyview Drive-in. We pack a cooler and toss it into the back of our old pickup with some pillows and blankets, then head across the river to Belleville. A double feature is only $10. It’s very nostalgic and a great way to spend the evening. What’s your food or beverage guilty pleasure? Most mornings my husband, Jason, makes us breakfast sandwiches. Nothing fancy — an egg, turkey bacon, some whole grain toast and a slice of cheese. I usually request American cheese on mine. It’s so melty and perfect on top of that egg. Plus it glistens in the morning sunshine. I know there are a million better cheeses out there, but for breakfast, I go American. What would be your last meal on earth? A cheese and charcuterie board with crusty bread. It would have to include Humboldt Fog and a gooey Taleggio along with chicken liver pate, pork rillette and a nice capicola. Throw in some spicy mustard, fresh fruit and roasted nuts for good measure. — CHERYL BAEHR

Authentic MexicAn Food, Beer, And MArgAritAs!

2817 cherokee st. st. Louis, Mo 63118 314.762.0691 onco.coM www.tAqueriAeLBr

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[HIDDEN GEM]

Jessie Pearl’s Poundcakes Bakes Up Nostalgia

essie-Pearl Hairston sold her first poundcake when she was thirteen years old, baking cakes inspired by the way her grandma made them. Now nearly 68, the self-proclaimed CEO of Sugar and Butter for Jessie-Pearl’s Poundcakes Etc. intends to provide customers with nostalgic bliss in every bite of her retro-style treats. “The old-fashioned way of doing things appeals to me. Maybe it’s just in my head, but things were so much more flavorful back then,” she says. “My grandmother would put a bowl in the crook of her arm and whip it 350 strokes to produce a pound cake so good that it would make a bulldog break its chain. They’d be so wonderful-tasting and just melt in your mouth.” The retired ordained minister, who once worked as a cake decorator for a grocery-store chain, started her poundcake business in 2008 after encouragement from friends and family. After taking a break from vending at farmers’ markets in 2011 owing to debilitating health issues, Hairston made a comeback to her passion in early 2015 with continued support from her daughter, Yaunah, and grandson, Seth. For Hairston, who lives in the city’s Shaw neighborhood and bases her business out of a shared kitchen at Saint Louis University’s Salus Center, baking serves as a form of therapy. “I had gotten to where I couldn’t walk without the aid of a cane. My fingers were stiff and wouldn’t work so I just stopped, but I never quit. I just put it on a back burner and bypassed the emotions and negative voices in my head. I bit the bullet, as they say, and will do this until I die,” she says. “Success to me doesn’t mean that you’re rolling in dough. Success to me is when you overcome every challenge, persevere and say you’re gonna do something.”

4144 S. Grand

St. Louis, MO 63118

(314) 875-9653

Tuesday-Sunday

11am-9pm

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Even after breaking her wrist in May, the intrepid baker continues to hone her craft. “I didn’t know it was broken because I’m such a tough cookie. I just kept baking,” she says with a laugh, pointing out that her doctor ordered two poundcakes when she finally came around to getting checked out. “The way I was raised, you don’t gripe and complain and fall apart like a $2 suitcase. You just get up, dust your butt off and just keep on trucking because there are people worse off than you.” Hairston’s customers will find everything from butter-bomb cookies and cobblers to cakes in varying shapes, sizes and flavors. The bestseller is her namesake poundcake, a product perfected after more than 50 years of kitchen experiments. The versatile dessert features a velvety crumb fine enough to feed kings and queens, yet homestyle enough for a greasy-spoon diner. Hairston attributes the quality to consistent measurement and execution, such as carefully sifting and creaming ingredients. “The style of desserts I offer are mixed with love. I have never baked with a bad attitude, and I believe that’s what’s coming through in my baked goods,” she says. “I’ve been told that I’m a culinary crack dealer.” Flavoring options for Hairston’s rich yet delicate poundcakes include vanilla made with her own extract, sour cream, cream cheese, lemon, double chocolate, triple chocolate, banana, pumpkin, pineapple and coconut. Sizes range from three- to ten-inch cakes made in varying pans from standard loaves and rounds to unique antiques such as miniature angel-food shapes. “I didn’t want to leave the earth without reviving the beauty of scratch baking,” Hairston says. “I want people to take a bite and experience something, whether it’s a memory of a family picnic or how you remember Grandma. It takes you back — it’s a return to taste.” For Jessie-Pearl’s Poundcakes Etc.’s full menu and custom-ordering options, including accommodations for dietary issues including gluten allergies, visit jessiehairston.wix.com/ jessiepearls or call 314-266-8619. —MABEL SUEN

MABEL SUEN

Jessie-Pearl Hairston’s individual-sized vanilla poundcake.

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dining guide The Dining Guide lists only restaurants recommended by RFT food critics. The print listings below rotate regularly, as space allows. Our complete Dining Guide is available online; view menus and search local restaurants by name or neighborhood. Price Guide (based on a three-course meal for one, excluding tax, tip and beverages): $ up to $15 per person $$ $15 - $25 $$$ $25 - $40 $$$$ more than $40

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801 Chophouse 137 Carondelet Plaza, Clayton; 314-8759900. 801 Chophouse’s super-size steaks are the most expensive meal in town — and that seems to be the point. The restaurant peddles opulence to holders of corporate cards, as well as regular folks who want to feel like royalty (at least for a day). For the price tag, diners will receive impeccable service, fine wines and shamefully large cuts of beef. Bone-in selections are the best offerings: The strip, rib eye, pork and veal all benefit from the extra flavor (and thicker cut). 801 Chophouse offers a variety of steak enhancements, from Oscar-style with crab and béarnaise to a bone-marrow bath. However, the high-quality steaks and chops are delicious enough on their own. Seafood is incredibly fresh, and the oysters taste straight from the coast. Side dishes are served à la carte: The creamy scalloped potatoes and lobster macaroni & cheese are excellent options — just make sure to ask for a half order so you can save room for the Grand Mariner soufflé. $$$$ Avenue 12 North Meramec Avenue, Clayton; 314-727-4141. The long-time patrons who lamented the closure of Bryan Carr’s Pomme Restaurant and Pomme Café & Wine Bar can find respite at Avenue. The Clayton bistro, located just a few blocks away from its popular predecessors, combines the two concepts under one roof, but also allows Carr to up the ante on his classic French-influenced fare. The veteran chef keeps some of Pomme’s favorites on Avenue’s menu but also adds several successful new dishes, such as authentic cassoulet with white beans, duck confit, sausage and pork shoulder. The pork schnitzel, topped with brandy-sautéed apples, is another standout dish, and appetizers such as wild mushrooms served with buratta over crusty bread demonstrate Carr’s culinary prowess. Avenue has an excellent brunch, with offerings such as blueberry and lemon pancakes and an overstuffed ham, egg and Gruyere crêpe that doubles as a hearty breakfast wrap. Pomme may still be on everyone’s mind, but Avenue proves to be a worthy followup. $$ Cantina Laredo 7710 Forsyth Boulevard, Clayton; 314-7252447. Cantina Laredo in Clayton is the first St. Louis location of the Dallas-based upscale Tex-Mex chain. The restaurant’s large contemporary bar has quickly become a happyhour hot spot, pouring stiff drinks for the area’s business clientele. On the food side, diners can expect modernized, fusion versions of Mexican and Tex-Mex dishes, anchored by a large selection of fajitas and enchiladas. The restaurant’s signature appetizer, the “Top Shelf Guacamole,” is prepared tableside, with accoutrements added to your preferences. The “Enchiladas Veracruz” features two tortillas stuffed with a Mexican version of chicken spinach dip, and the “Costillas Con Fajita” is a gigantic, searing hot platter of ribs, steak and chicken, large enough for three diners. A must-try is the “Torta de Carnitas,” smoked pork topped with goat cheese, apricot jam and an over-easy egg. Though it’s difficult to save room for dessert, find a way to manage: The Mexican apple pie, finished with brandy butter tableside on a searing-hot cast-iron skillet, is a scrumptious end to the meal. $$-$$$ Niche 7734 Forsyth Boulevard, Clayton; 314-773-7755. Acclaimed restaurateur Gerard Craft has relocated his flagship restaurant, Niche, from Benton Park to a brand-new, stateof-the-art space in downtown Clayton. The menu from Craft and chef du cuisine Nate Hereford remains true to the ethos that made Niche so beloved among local diners: progressive modern cuisine with an emphasis on local, seasonal produce — and also with a playful side. Diners can order from the à la carte menu, but the new Niche also features a special chef’s table with an more extensive tasting menu. While drop-in diners might find an empty seat at the bar, reservations are strongly recommended. $$$-$$$$ Pizzino 7600 Wydown Boulevard, Clayton; 314-240-5134. Pizzino owner Jim Zimmerman comes from a line of Lithuanian bakers dating back to the 1700s, so it’s no surprise that he has perfected not one, but two types of crusts for the fast-

casual eatery. Pizzino serves two different styles of pies: thin, crispy and grilled; or the thick Roman-style pizza al taglio. The grilled pizzas are made to order; diners either customize one from a list of toppings or choose from a list of suggested versions. Specialties include the “Margherita,” a take on the classic Neapolitan dish that consists of tomatoes, basil and fresh mozzarella. The “Cantina” is a satisfying steak pizza, topped with spicy whole tomatoes and Gorgonzola and Reggianito cheeses. The pizza al taglio is baked in advance in large sheet pans then sliced in large squares to order. The focaccia-like crust comes in three different styles: a vegetarian; a take on pepperoni; and the capicola and caramelized onion topped “Royal.” Pizza is becoming an increasingly crowded field in this town, but Pizzino stands out by offering something a little different. $ Whitebox Eatery 176 Carondelet Plaza, Clayton; 314-8622802. Whitebox Eatery elevates daytime eating for busy Clayton diners with its upscale take on breakfast and lunch fare. The restaurant offers breakfast and lunch on the weekdays, and Saturday and Sunday brunch, with items such as turkey meatloaf, brioche French toast and smoked-salmon tartine. Pancakes, covered with housemade granola, fresh berries and whipped cream is a must, as is the breakfast salad — arugula, potatoes, bacon, feta cheese and crispy onions are topped with creamy herbed dressing and poached eggs. Whitebox Eatery’s freshly baked pastries are the restaurant’s highlight. Doughnuts, chocolate croissants, cheese Danishes and savory scones are a perfect end to the meal — or a tasty grab-and-go snack. $$

KIRKWOOD/ WEBSTER GROVES 612 Kitchen & Cocktails 612 West Woodbine Avenue, Kirkwood; 314-965-2003. When Dan and Pat Graham decided to shutter Graham’s Grill & Bayou Bar after a seventeen-year run, the next generation decided to take over the reins — but put their own stamp on things. Brother and sister business partners Devin and Alison converted their parents’ Cajunthemed bar and grill into 612 Kitchen & Cocktails, a 1920sinspired cocktail lounge and gastropub. The restaurant is at its best when it sticks to classic bar fare: Sausage-andcheese-stuffed mushrooms, breaded and fried, make for an excellent snack; beer-battered fish and chips pair nicely with a cold one; and the smoked chicken is juicy and glazed with caramelized barbecue sauce. Craft cocktails are on the approachable end of the spectrum. Signature drinks such include the “Great Gatsby,” made with cucumber and basilinfused rum, lemonade and blueberry purée. A bridal shower in barware, the “Coco Chanel,” is a blend of strawberry vodka, lemon juice, pink champagne, strawberries and mint. The most austere offering is the “Scarface.” Tequila, tomato water, triple sec and lavender-infused sour combine to make an interesting twist on the margarita. Regardless of how the younger Grahams brand it, 612 Kitchen & Cocktails is still a simple neighborhood watering hole. $$ Winfield’s Gathering Place 10312 Manchester Road, Kirkwood; 314-394-2200. Winfield’s Gathering Place is an upscale sports bar, smokehouse and American fare restaurant brought to life by business partners Mark Winfield and former Cardinals outfielder Jim Edmonds. Located in the strip-mall space that formerly housed the first St. Louis Bread Company, Winfield’s serves up some serious barbecue. The ribs are classic dry-rubbed style, and the beef brisket holds its own in this ’cue-crowded town. Sandwiches include the must-try “BBQ Burnt Ends Sourdough Melt,” a pastrami Reuben, and a brisket riff on a French dip. Winfield’s is more than a smokehouse, though. Flatbreads and Italian specialties round out the menu, and entrées such as a “Wined and Brined” smoked chicken prove it. Don’t pass up the jalapeño cheddar au gratin potatoes — whether ordered as a side or served on their own with a cold beer, they are alone worth a visit. $$-$$$

MAPLEWOOD Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions 2810 Sutton Boulevard, Maplewood, 314-647-2567. On a typical day at Bolyard’s Meat & Provisions, chef Chris Bolyard wields a sharp boning knife from a trusty chain-link utility belt armed with additional tools of the trade. He skillfully breaks down a cut of grass-fed beef from Double B Ranch out of Perryville, one of the many local farms he sources for pasture-raised animals. Elsewhere in his new full-service butcher shop, his staff preps sausage, braunschweiger and stocks from scratch. $$-$$$ A Pizza Story 7278 Manchester Road, Maplewood; 314-8990011. Huhammad Alwagheri, Sherif Nasser and Nael Saad didn’t set out to open a restaurant. The three Washington University academics just loved food. But at dinner parties, the conversation would quickly turn to: “What if we opened a restaurant?” The three finally took the leap and opened A Pizza Story. The Neapolitan-style pizzeria serves classic wood-fired pies, like the Margherita, which simply consists of perfectly charred crust, fresh tomato sauce, basil and mozzarella cheese. Though the restaurant is called A Pizza Story, other menu offerings take a starring role: A salad of arugula and beets pairs perfectly with goat cheese and lemon vinaigrette. The two pastas, shells ragu and fettuccine all’amatriciana are lightly sauced and full of meat: The ragu is like beef stew over shell-shaped pasta, and the fettuccine is simply heaped with pancetta. Save room for the creamy tiramisu — one of the best versions in town — and housemade gelato. It’s a sweet end to a Neapolitan feast.

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music

B-Sides 42 Critics’ Picks 44 Concerts 50 Clubs

A Message From the Future STAGHORN SETS OUT TO SAVE THE WORLD — ONE SONG AT A TIME taghorn ferns live in complete symbiosis with trees and need very little to live. They’re completely self-sustaining, and a symbol of how mankind should be living with the rest of the world community,” says Jared Scheurer, recent Florida transplant and founding member of Staghorn. His outspoken post-rock group takes an eco-friendly, DIY approach to every facet of its music. From its speaker cabinets, built from wood sourced in Missouri, to its hand-wired custom amps, the band pushes a holistic message through practice, not preaching. In fact, the group’s music would lack lyrics entirely if not for disparate narration. Scheurer lends his voice to relay the band’s mythology, a tale BY of time-traveling spectres who bring warnings of the JOSEPH end of days — unless mankind HESS makes peace with nature, of course. The tale begins with the band’s debut record, Parousia I / Kismet II, set for release on October 3. “Not only do we have a story, we have a graphic novel. Each section of it will be released with each album. One chapter per side, with art by Seth Rodgers,” says Lexy Baron. She and Scheurer first played together in World’s Strongest Man, a math-rock outfit based out of southern Florida. When that band dissolved, the pair branched off to develop what would later become Staghorn. “I had been building riffs and ideas, all on the side, for two years,” Scheurer says. “When Lexy came along, I knew it was time to move forward and make it a real band.” But that time was cut short. In March 2015, Scheurer moved to St. Louis and set up his own print shop inside a small building shared with Mills Custom Music Co., a custom amp and cab boutique run by longtime friend Justin Mills. Before leaving Florida, he and Baron tracked Parousia I / Kismet II with then-drummer Joey Morhaim. The band played a pair of shows that served as both a debut and an immediate sendoff. Shortly after moving to town, Scheurer was introduced to drummer Jack Middeke (of Laika, Jr. Clooney) and sent him the unfinished album.

J AC O B LO A F M A N

Staghorn: Practicing what it preaches.

“At that point, all I had was a written record, unmixed, and goals to make it into a real band again,” Scheurer says. “Staghorn truly started when we met Jack.” “When Jack came in and just started playing, I just brightened up,” Baron adds. “It was like, ‘Oh my God, he knows the music, can play it and adds his own style as well.’ He adds life to the project and completes it.” Following an offer to to play the Mighty Oak Music Fest in Jacksonville, Florida, the band booked its first tour with Middeke, only weeks after bringing him into the fold. “It was cool to come in and have something already written out,” Middeke says. He learned the songs and embraced the performance side: The band’s members adorn themselves in dark colors from head to toe, topped off with hooded masks. Onstage, they evoke the roles of human survivors from a dystopian future of sentient animals, warning mankind of retribution for its crimes against nature.

“The concept feels powerful,” Middeke says. “I’m doing what I love, which is playing music, but there’s this innate positivity about it too.” And Staghorn’s members don’t just tell a story of saving the world — they live their ideals. In July, Middeke organized an event to benefit the Covering House, an association that helps victims of sex trafficking and exploitation in Missouri. Scheurer’s Leave Your Mark print shop is a compound for handmade, independent gear and merchandise with an eco-friendly mantra. The company offers Tshirts and posters printed with water-based and discharge ink. Of course, all of Staghorn’s merch is made in house. “We try to outsource as little as possible. We use reclaimed materials; nothing goes to waste,” Baron says. “Even the records are made from recycled pellets from the factory. We chose the cheap route, and went with the random mixed color,” Scheurer adds. riverfronttimes.com

This fall, Staghorn embarks on a 24-day tour through America, starting with a semiprivate release show in an undisclosed location in St. Louis on October 3. (The band welcomes anyone who is interested in attending — contact its members directly through Facebook or at www.wearestaghorn.com.) Staghorn’s next public show in St. Louis is November 12 at the Schlafly Tap Room. “I don’t like when bands make people try to catch up with them, so we do intend to tour this record as much as possible,” Scheurer says. “We don’t want to be always working toward something; we want to have something done.” Still, he’s quick to add that the next few releases have already been written, and he’ll be working with Baron and Middeke to fully develop future songs as a trio. “As long as we’re destroying nature and living the way we do now,” he says. “I’m sure I’m going to have material to write about.” ■

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

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b-sides Lemmy the Indestructible MOTÖRHEAD PERFORMED A STELLAR SET IN ST. LOUIS AFTER A STRING OF HEALTH-RELATED CANCELLATIONS ho would win in a wrestling match: Lemmy or God?” In an oft-quoted scene from 1994’s Airheads — a movie made during that strange period when Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi could be considered “peers” — Brendan Fraser’s character, a hard rocker by the name of “Chazz,” poses this simple question to Harold Ramis. Ramis plays an undercover cop masquerading as a record executive, and the inquiry is meant as a test. Who would win? Lemmy — an indelible rock icon, a pioneer of the form, a sneering, hard-drinking, hard-living legend — or God — an omnipotent being, an unstoppable force, a larger-than-life figure worshiped across the entire world? As anyone who has seen the movie knows, it’s actually a trick question. In recent weeks, Motörhead fans have feared for the frontman’s health as his battle with God moved off the silver screen and into real life. Recent show cancellations in Denver, San Antonio, Dallas and Houston — as well as shortened sets in Salt Lake City and Austin — had fans fearing he was on the brink. These came on the heels of a recent interview published by The Guardian in which Lemmy revealed that he had switched from his signature Jack Daniel's and Coke to orange juice and vodka in an apparent bid to better manage

C O U R T E SY O F U D R M U S I C

Lemmy: Here, now and forever.

his diabetes. (“Coca-Cola can fuck off,” he told the reporter.) The article also mentions the recent heart problems, the defibrillator, the tour-canceling hematoma, the gastric illness. It describes the rocker as “pale and drawn.” In all, it paints a worrisome picture. Whispers in the halls before Motörhead’s St. Louis performance at the Pageant — the group’s first show back since the cancellations — leaned toward the morbid. Attendees were overheard openly wondering if they would watch Lemmy die onstage. The mood was tense, even as the band took the stage to thunderous applause. “How are you, St. Louis?” Lemmy asked a crowd that was far more concerned with the inverse. “We are Motörhead,” he continued, “and

we play rock & roll.” As the band launched into opener “Damage Case,” it became clear the fears were unfounded. Howling into the microphone, Lemmy led the band he founded some 40 years ago with conviction, as though he still has something to prove (he doesn’t). Sure, he showed signs of age. He rarely moved from his spot in front of the microphone, owing to his legs, which he has said “are fucked.” His vocal delivery was occasionally a tad off-time. His speaking voice was a little unclear, much as you might expect from a set of vocal chords so loudly put to use for four decades. But he played, and he played his heart out. When Motörhead performed in Austin, Texas, on September 1, Lemmy cut the show

HOMESPUN HYLIDAE Intransitive hylidae.bandcamp.com

eeping all the solo-act white-dude knob-twiddlers in town straight can be tough, and trying to assign them a fitting genre is tougher, but we’re confident in calling Hylidae’s debut what it is: dance music. Jon Burkhart has an irrepressible drive for rave-up rhythms and sparkling melodic filaments, even when they are buried beneath what would otherwise pass for well-manicured noise. Take the slow-burn opener of his debut album Intransitive: The bristling, clangorous “You Don’t Say” gradually reveals its sing-songy, melodic core under layers of pneumatic pressure-drops and bit-crushing fuzz. It’s a gradual, tidal groove, but one that is hastened by Burkhart’s vocals, which transmit a kind of serene bliss, particularly when he pushes into falsetto range. On “You Don’t Say,” the lyrics don’t go much further than the threeword title, but they go a long way toward altering the tenor of the song. Elsewhere on the eight-track album (available on cassette and digitally), Hylidae doesn’t hide his dance floor pretensions but skips right for the pleasure center. “Eulogy” mixes darkwave dub with

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SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

nearly Caribbean textures for a wobbly, increasingly unhinged track. Some of that unease creeps into “NTHE,” the album’s longest song and its centerpiece, as a simple drum-machine pattern intensifies amid ominously pitched synths. As the patterns lock into a grid, Burkhart’s falsetto — buried under delay and placed deep in the mix as to make his words obsolete — gives the track the feel of a yearning, utterly sincere Hot Chip offering. It’s moments like these where Hylidae shows Burkhart’s devotion to a certain retro strand of synth-and-sequencer dance-pop, but his sense of classicism is always paired with real-time manipulation and experimental strains. To wit, a certain moodiness permeates the album’s final moments. Closing cut “Sorghum Syrup” revisits the clanking, rusty-chain rhythms of the album’s opening moments and sets them against a slow-blooming synth pad. It’s a quiet, pensive end to a record that has no trouble finding bright and effusive moments amid the noise. —CHRISTIAN SCHAEFFER Want your CD to be considered for a review in this space? Send music c/o Riverfront Times, Attn: Homespun, 6358 Delmar Boulevard, Suite 200, St. Louis, Missouri, 63130. Email music@riverfronttimes.com for more information.

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only two and a half songs into the set. Midway through “Metropolis” he stopped playing his bass and said, “I can’t do it,” into the microphone. He looked frail and sick, and video of the event shocked fans everywhere. But just one week later, things were different. “This next song is called ‘Metropolis,’” he growled into the mic. As the music swelled, guitarist Phil Campbell walked across the stage, took Lemmy’s hand and raised it high in the air. The audience went crazy, and the song went perfectly. The entire set went off without a hitch, encore and all. “You’ve been a fucking excellent crowd tonight,” Lemmy said at the end of the set. “We’ll play for you anytime. “Don’t forget us,” he added. “We are Mötorhead, and we play rock & fucking roll.” The screams from the crowd in response were deafening. No one who was there would be forgetting anything. It makes some sense to have feared for Lemmy’s health. After all, every human being yet who has lived has also died, or is at least expected to. But to think that Lemmy Fucking Kilmister might? We were naïve. Lemmy will go on. He will outlive us all. He will watch the great civilizations of man rise and fall. When the sun explodes and kills all life on earth, Lemmy will bear witness. The ground will crumble beneath his feet, and he will float through space, bass guitar in one hand and bottle of Jack in the other (surely he will have this diabetes thing licked in no time). Lemmy will give birth to new worlds, and then destroy them for his own amusement. When he does meet God, he will challenge him, then and there, to a fight. But who will win? Lemmy or God? “Wrong, dickhead. Trick question. Lemmy is God.” —DANIEL HILL

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critics’ picks

THE MENTORS

BOYZ II MEN

8:30 p.m. Thursday, September 17. Fubar, 3108 Locust Street. $10 to $12. 314-289-9050. This show is going to be a bloody fucking mess. Each band on the bill — the Mentors, Without Mother Fucking Order and Bonerkill — subscribe to the G.G. Allin school of thought, which is to say total shock is the order of the day. An over-the-top live show heavy on self-inflicted violence is to be expected. WMFO has played this game in St. Louis to a T for more than a decade; its singer, Captain Perverto, is a former wrestler who encourages audience members to attack him with a staple gun and a variety of other painful implements. Bonerkill is similarly fronted by a wrestler, one Alex “Gunboat” Rudolph, a towering figure with long hair and the overall look of a viking. The Mentors rose to prominence in the mid-’80s when the band’s offensive lyrics came under fire by Tipper Gore and her Parents Music Resource Center. “Shock rock” is an understatement, and Gore’s protests only brought the band more attention and a career that has spanned nearly 40 years. Parental Advisory: Seriously, the Mentors’ lyrics are incredibly, ridiculously offensive. Though fans would argue that it is all meant as good fun and is a form of artistic expression, that doesn’t change the fact that no child or easily offended person should go anywhere near this show. You’ve been warned. –DANIEL HILL

7:30 p.m. Saturday, September 19. The Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market Street. $38 to $78. 314-241-1888. You have a near-impossible decision to make, fan of radioready ’90s R&B. Two of your all-time favorites are performing in town tonight, and you must choose wisely or forever live with regret. On the one hand you have Ginuwine, rider of ponies — he will be performing at Lumière Place. On the other hand there’s Boyz II Men, Motownphilly’s finest, who will take the stage at the Peabody Opera House as part of the third annual Ozzie & Friends concert. The price of each show is comparable; there will be no easy decisions here. However, one thing tips the situation in favor of the Boyz: All proceeds will benefit the PGA REACH (Recreation, Education, Awareness, Community and Health) initiative, which aims to help keep kids in school and provide recreational and educational facilities for St. Louis-area youth. Go with the good cause. Ginuwine’s saddle will still be waiting for you next time around. Pray For Backflips: As an Ozzie Smith affair, one can reasonably expect that, maybe, there will be some backflipping. Those are really cool, and this would tip the scales completely away from Ginuwine. Pray for backflips.

JOSH ROUSE

8 p.m. Wednesday, September 24. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $10. 314-773-3363. Here’s a truth about the St. Louis music scene that is all but irrefutable: We love tribute nights. Love them, revere them, buy tickets en masse to them. Be it arena-worthy sets recreating the hits of Zeppelin and Floyd or yearly tributes to the likes of the Band, Ween or Guided by Voices, local musicians and showgoers can’t seem to get enough. You will notice, though, the preponderance of white male artists being feted and a near-total dearth of sets honoring female artists. Local singer-songwriter Suzie Cue has struck a blow against the musical patriarchy with Work Your Way Out, a night of songs written by the righteous babe herself, Ani DiFranco. It has been 25 years since DiFranco’s self-titled debut was released, and her mix of spoken-word poetry, folk music and activism is certainly worth a tribute. Names & Dates & Times: Suzie Cue will be joined by the Bottoms Up Blues Gang, Genevieve and more.

9 p.m. Friday, September 18. Blueberry Hill’s Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Boulevard, University City. $20. 314-727-4444. For a brief time, Josh Rouse seemed a safe bet to give Ryan Adams a run for his Westerbergian hopes and despairs. A Midwesterner with a rock-meetscountry-meets-folk plaintiveness and a golden, grainy voice, Rouse recorded his first album in a living room on an eight-track. In 1998 Dressed Up Like Nebraska was the right bummer at the right time, and every album since — including the beautifully textured Under Cold Blue Stars and this year’s back-topsychoanalytical-basics The Embers of Time — has been required late-night, post-whiskey, reflective listening. Exile on Calle Primera: Moving to Spain in 2004 hasn’t exactly kickstarted Rouse’s career or touring schedule. Don’t miss him this week; he’s not likely to be back in St. Louis anytime soon. –ROY KASTEN 44

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–DANIEL HILL

W O R K Y O U R WAY O U T: A TRIBUTE TO ANI DIFRANCO

–CHRISTIAN SCHAEFFER

Clockwise from the top: Boyz II Men, Ani DiFranco and Josh Rouse.

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24/7 PeacockLoopDiner.com

6191 Delmar · 314-727-5555 PinUpBowl.com

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

6261 Delmar in The Loop

riverfronttimes.com

Delmar Loop Fri 11/20 & SAT 11/21

ON SALE 9/18

Saint Louis

WEDNESDAy 11/25

SUNDAy 9/27

FriDAy 9/25

ON SALE 9/18

TUESDAy 9/29

WEDNESDAy 9/30

Marc Scibilla • The Young Wild FriDAy 10/2

TUESDAy 10/6

WEDNESDAy 10/7

with PURSON

UPCOMING SHOWS

10.8 BEN RECTOR 10.9 TORI KELLY 10.12 BRING ME THE HORIZON 10.13 CHANCE THE RAPPER 10.14 COHEED AND CAMBRIA 10.15 FLUX PAVILION 10.16 LETTUCE 10.17 GRACE POTTER 10.19 PASSION PIT 10.20 MAC MILLER 10.21 LYLE LOVETT & JOHN HIATT 10.23 YELAWOLF/MEG MYERS 10.24 DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS

10.27 GORGON CITY 10.28 ANDREW MCMAHON IN THE WILDERNESS / NEW POLITICS 10.29 SLIGHTLY STOOPID 10.30 MAT KEARNEY 10.31 SOMO 11.5 THE MAVERICKS 11.6 TIMEFLIES 11.7 JOHNNY RIVERS 11.8 NEW FOUND GLORY/YELLOWCARD 11.11 GOGOL BORDELLO 11.13 BIG FREEDIA 11.14 THE WONDER YEARS/MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK 11.17 BEN FOLDS

visit us online for complete show information facebook.com/ThePageantSTL

@ThePageantSTL

thepageantstl.tumblr.com

thepageant.com // 6161 delmar blvd. / St. Louis, MO 63112 // 314.726.6161

riverfronttimes.com

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

A L L P H OTO S B Y R O B E R T R O H E

loufest 2015

hat a weekend: Record-setting crowds turned out for LouFestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sixth installment in Forest Park. World-famous headliners such as Billy Idol and the Avett Brothers shared the bill with local favorites including American Wrestlers and Pokey LaFarge. The food was fabulous, the weather was perfect and the flowers were many. Head on over to photos.riverfronttimes.com to see lots more shots by Robert Rohe.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

M O N T H X Xâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;X X , 2

Patio-Banquet Rooms up to 200 • Carryout • Pool Tables

Your place before, during and after Cardinal baseball!

Daily Drink & Food Specials!

(PET FRIENDLY)

Check out our huge patio this autumn!

758 S 4th St. St. Louis, MO 63102 • 314-621-1200 • okelleysattheballpark.com Mon - Sat: 11am - 1:30am Sun: 11am - 12am

riverfronttimes.com

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

concerts THIS JUST IN 2CELLOs: Thu., March 31, 7 p.m., $34.50-$59.50. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111, fabulousfox.com. Amaranthe: W/ Butcher Babies, Lullwater, Tue., Nov. 17, 6 p.m., $18-$20. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720, popsrocks.com. Andrea Gibson: Fri., Nov. 13, 8 p.m., $15-$17. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thereadyroom.com. Arcane Haven: W/ Zealot, Scarred Atlas, Our Last Words, Ends of Infinity, Wed., Sept. 30, 6 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. Atomic Blues Festival: W/ Marsha Evans & the Coalition, Eugene Johnson & Company, Larry Griffin & Eric McSpadden, Big Mike & the Blues City All-Stars, Joe Pastors Legacy Ensemble, Paul Niehaus & Friends , Bob "Bumble Bee" Kamoske, Ethan Leinwand, the Bottoms Up Blues Gang, MC Marty Spikner, Sun., Sept. 27, 3 p.m., $10. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Austin Cebulske and Eric Slaughter: Sat., Sept. 19, 8 p.m., Free. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-8484, thurmangrill.com. The Brewbadours: Sat., Sept. 26, 8 p.m., Free. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314772-8484, thurmangrill.com. Brick + Mortar: Thu., Oct. 8, 7 p.m., $12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. Brutally Frank: W/ Scene Of Irony, Fri., Nov. 27, 8 p.m., $8-$10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. Carter Hulsey: W/ the Millennium, Kiernan McMullan, Fri., Nov. 13, 8 p.m., $10-$12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. Clint Black: Fri., Dec. 18, 8 p.m., $27.50-$57.50. River City Casino & Hotel, 777 River City Casino Blvd., St. Louis, 314388-7777, rivercity.com. Davina & the Vagabonds: Fri., Oct. 23, 8 p.m., $10-$12. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-5880505, oldrockhouse.com. Dead & Company: Fri., Nov. 20, 7 p.m., $47-$96. Scottrade Center, 1401 Clark Ave., St. Louis, 314-241-1888, scottradecenter.com. The Defeated County CD release: W/ Middle Class Fashion, Fri., Oct. 9, 8-11:30 p.m., $10, 314 974 2792, langenn@gmail.com, facebook.com/ events/407115099486893. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100, foamvenue.com. Devil's Night Throwdown: W/ Collinsville All-Stars, Avex, Quaere Verum, As Earth Shatters, Final Drive, Fri., Oct. 30, 6 p.m., $3-$5. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720, popsrocks.com. Dirtfoot: Fri., Sept. 25, 9 p.m., $10. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Divide the Empire CD Release: W/ Divine Sorrow, Midnight Reveille, Apex Shrine, Pirate Signal, Sat., Oct. 10, 6 p.m., $7-$8. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720, popsrocks.com. Edward David Anderson: W/ Anthony Crawford, Falling Fences, Chicago Farmer, Thu., Oct. 22, 8 p.m., $10. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Eric Slaughter and Glen Smith: Fri., Sept. 25, 8 p.m., Free. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-8484, thurmangrill.com. Everything is Terrible!: Tue., Nov. 10, 8 p.m., $10-$12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. Flaw: W/ A Fall to Break, Thu., Oct. 15, 7 p.m., $15-$18. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353, firebirdstl.com. Gatherers: Wed., Nov. 11, 7 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. Ghost Town: W/ Dangerkids, Palaye Royale, Bad Seed Rising, Sounds Like Harmony, Wed., Nov. 11, 7 p.m., $15. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353, firebirdstl.com. Gladys Knight: W/ the Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Jays, Fri., Nov. 13, 7 p.m., $55$150. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111, fabulousfox.com. Guttermouth: W/ Blacklist Royals, the Fuck Off And Dies, Tue., Nov. 17, 8 p.m., $15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. He Is Legend: W/ Must Be the Holy Ghost, Noesis, Tue., Oct. 20, 6 p.m., $15-$17. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. Heart: Tue., Dec. 1, 7:30 p.m., $35-$125. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111, fabulousfox.

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

com. Horseshoes & Hand Grenades: Fri., Oct. 2, 9 p.m., $10. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. The Icarus Line: W/ Church Key, Alternate Outcome, Tue., Oct. 6, 8 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314289-9050, fubarstl.com. Jake's Leg: Fri., Oct. 23, 9 p.m., $7. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. The Jauntee: Wed., Sept. 23, 9 p.m., $5. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Jay Farrar: Sat., Dec. 19, 8 p.m., $25-$30. The Sheldon, 3648 Washington Blvd., St. Louis, 314-533-9900, thesheldon.org. JellyRoll: W/ P.R.E.A.C.H, Mak 9 & Trenton P, Sat., Nov. 14, 7 p.m., $15-$18. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720, popsrocks.com. Joe Mancuso & Dave Black: Thu., Sept. 24, 7 p.m., Free. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-8484, thurmangrill.com. Jonny Two Bags: W/ Scott H. Biram, Jesse Dayton, Wed., Nov. 4, 7 p.m., $20-$25. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505, oldrockhouse.com. Kevin Griffin of Better Than Ezra: Thu., Jan. 7, 8 p.m., $27.50-$30. Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444, blueberryhill.com. Lo Luciano CD Release: W/ Crook3dmuziC, JAY SMOKA, Kokane The Rapper, Key Lo Da Don, Reup Von Wolfgang, No Sleep Gang, Kasze, Sat., Sept. 26, 7 p.m., $5-$8. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618274-6720, popsrocks.com. The Moonmen: W/ Nate Moore, Metropolotix, Reapa, Key Lo Da Don, Fri., Nov. 6, 8 p.m., $8. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. Negative Approach: W/ Child Bite, Wed., Nov. 11, 8 p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. Optimus Rex CD Release: W/ Living Room Lava, Jen Galinski & Taradiddle, Fly Method, Fri., Oct. 9, 8 p.m., $8. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl. com. Satellite Theory: W/ ELEMENT A440, Midnight Hour, PDA, Signals From Saturn, Off the Witness, Sat., Oct. 10, 7 p.m., $10. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thereadyroom.com. The Saville Band: W/ Chad Randall Band, J Martinez, Fri., Oct. 2, 9 p.m., $10. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314289-9050, fubarstl.com. Shapist: W/ Outline In Color, Victory Heights, Darkness Divided, Lo And Behold, Formations, Me the Monster, Sun., Oct. 4, 5 p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl.com. The Sheepdogs: W/ Radio Moscow, Sat., Oct. 24, 9 p.m., $12. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Sick of Sarah: W/ the Ruthless, Moon Thief, Mon., Oct. 5, 7 p.m., $10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thedemostl.com. SIN-ical: W/ My Twins, Will F.M., Sat., Sept. 26, 6 p.m., $7. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050, fubarstl. com. Skinbound: W/ Murder Machine, Acid Era, Wed., Nov. 18, 7 p.m., $10. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-5350353, firebirdstl.com. Skizzy Mars: W/ Kool John & P-Lo, Tue., Oct. 13, 7 p.m., $15-$18. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis, thereadyroom.com. St. Louis Symphony String Quartet: Wed., Sept. 23, 6:30 p.m., $10. World Chess Hall of Fame, 4652 Maryland Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-9243, worldchesshof.org. The Steepwater Band: Sat., Sept. 26, 9 p.m., $10-$12. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Stuart Johnson: Stuart sings and plays originals and selections from the American Songbook, Free, 314-772-8484, thurmangrill@aol.com. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-8484, thurmangrill. com. Through the Scope CD Release: W/ Discrepanices, Noesis, Post Primal, Sat., Oct. 3, 6:30 p.m., $5-$7. Pop's Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-2746720, popsrocks.com. Turbo Suit: Tue., Nov. 10, 9 p.m., $10-$12. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. The Urge: Fri., Nov. 20, 8 p.m.; Sat., Nov. 21, 8 p.m., $25$35. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-7266161, thepageant.com. The Van Ella Band: Sat., Sept. 26, 8 p.m., $15. Casa Loma Ballroom, 3354 Iowa Ave, St. Louis, 314-282-2258, casalomaballroom.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Thursday 9.17.15 What: The Steve Ewing Band - Not So Quite Music Fest When: 5:30-8:30PM Where: St Louis Public Library

Fri. 9.18 - Sun. 9.20 What: Budweiser Taste of St Louis When: Fri. 5-10pm, Sat. 11am-10pm Sun. 11am-7pm Where: Chesterfield Ampitheater LouFest - 9.13.15

Saturday 9.19.15 What: Soulard Concert Series When: 6-10pm Where: Soulard Market Park

Saturday 9.19.15 Ballpark Village - 9.13.15

What: Science Uncorked When: 7-11pm Where: St. Louis Science Center

LouFest - 9.13.15

For more photos go to the Street Team Ballpark Village - 9.13.15

website at www.riverfronttimes.com.

Parties in the Park - 9.11.15

Fiesta on Cherokee - 9.12.15

Ballpark Village - 9.13.15

Music at the Intersection - 9.11.15 riverfronttimes.com

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

RIVERFRONT TIMES

out every night “Out Every Night” is a free listing open to all bars and bands in the St. Louis and Metro East areas. However, we reserve the right to refuse any entry. Listings are to be submitted by mail, fax or e-mail. Deadline is 5 p.m. Monday, ten days before Thursday publication. Please include bar’s name, address with ZIP code, phone number and geographic location; nights and dates of entertainment; and act name. Mail: Riverfront Times, attn: “Clubs,” 6358 Delmar Blvd., Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130-4719; fax: 314-754-6416; e-mail: clubs@ riverfronttimes.com. Schedules are not accepted over the phone. Because of last-minute cancellations and changes, please call ahead to verify listings.

T H U R S DAY Dylan Sires and Neighbors: w/ Cara Louise Band, Whoa Thunder 10 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100. Jacob Wick: w/ Ghost Ice + Alex Cunningham, DJ Grant Nikseresht 8 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100. Joe Metzka Band: 7 p.m., $5. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. The Mentors: w/ Adriyel 8:30 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. Not Half Bad: w/ the Kuhlies, Babe Lords, Qu3stion 8 p.m., $8-$10. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis. The Steve Ewing Band: 7 p.m., free. St. Louis Public Library, Central Branch, 1301 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-241-2288. Turbo Fruits: 8 p.m., $10-$12. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363. Two Times True with Larry Johnson: 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000.

Twangfest presents

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9/19 Old Salt Union 9/26 MiSS TeSS & the Talkbacks 10/3 Amy LaVere and WiLL Sexton

RIVERFRONT TIMES

SEPTEMBER 16 -22, 2015

riverfronttimes.com

alt-J: w/ Matt and Kim, Walk the Moon, Catfish and the Bottlemen 5 p.m., $57. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. Apostle of Solitude: w/ Planet Eater, Bong Threat 8 p.m., $10-$12. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. Cadillac Daddies: 7 p.m., $5. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Conquer As They Come: w/ Torontario, Capitol Drive, Sozorox, My Legacy My Ghost, Life On Broadway 6 p.m., $7. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. Hell Night: w/ Traindodge, ZEBULON PIKE, DayBringer 8 p.m., $8. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353. Josh Rouse: 8 p.m., $25. Blueberry Hill, 6504 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314-727-4444. Kacey Musgraves: 8 p.m., $29.50-$35. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. Keller Williams Trio: 8:30 p.m., $25-$28. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. Shooter Jennings: w/ Waymore's Outlaws 9 p.m., $30-$40. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363. Taste of St. Louis Night 1: w/ Chris Janson, the Well Hungarians, Tyler Lewis 8 p.m., free. Chesterfield Amphitheater, 16365 Lydia Hill Drive, Chesterfield. Willie Akins/Montez Coleman Group: 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $20. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000.

S AT U R DAY Austin Cebulske and Eric Slaughter: 8 p.m., Free. Thurman Grill & Provisions, 4069 Shenandoah Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-8484. Boyz II Men: 7:30 p.m., $38-$78. Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-241-1888. Funk Fest 10 Night 1: w/ the Peoples Key, Fresh Heir,, Big Brother Thunder & the Master Blasters, Naked Rock Fight featuring Dawn Weber 8 p.m., $10. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Ginuwine: 7 & 9:30 p.m., $27-$40. Lumiere Place Casino & Hotel, 999 N. Second St., St. Louis, 314-881-7777. Idle Hour Club: w/ the Jans Project, Cave States 9 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-773-3363. Johnny Mathis: 8 p.m., $50-$125. The Fox Theatre, 527 N. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, 314-534-1111. Marty Friedman: w/ Exmortus 8 p.m., $20-$25. Fubar, 3108

Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. The Old Webster Jazz & Blues Festival: w/ Scott Air Force Base Starlifters, Gene Dobbs Bradford & the Blues Experience, Miss Jubilee and the Humdingers, Webster University Jazz Ensemble, Marquise Knox Blues Revue, Matt Rowland, Webster Groves High School Jazz Band, Kevin Ward & the St. Louis Jazz All-Stars, Dreaming in Colour, Bach to the Future with Eric Marienthal noon, Free. Webster Groves, N. Gore and W. Lockwood avenues, St. Louis. Tom Segura: 8 p.m., $20. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis. Tony Bennett: 8 p.m., $69.50-$99.50. Lindenwood's J. Scheidegger Center for the Arts, 2300 W. Clay St., St. Charles, 636-949-4433.

S U N DAY Erra: w/ Polyphia, the After Image 6 p.m., $13-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. Funk Fest 10 Night 2: w/ Torrey Casey & The Southside Hustle,, Good for the Soul, NKT, Brian Curran & Dust Covers, Love Jones "The Band" noon, $10. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Horse Feathers: 8 p.m., $13-$15. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. Idlehands: w/ Author 7 p.m., $12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis. Ikillya: w/ Final Drive 7 p.m., $10-$12. The Firebird, 2706 Olive St., St. Louis, 314-535-0353.

M O N DAY Blind Willie & the Broadway Collective: 9 p.m., $5. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. The Electric Nature: w/ Mussy Cluves, Stone Hen 10 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100. Mike Peters of the Alarm: 8 p.m., $15-$25. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. Soulard Blues Band: 9 p.m., $5. Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-8811.

T U E S DAY Baby Birds Don't Drink Milk: 8 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100. Refelections: w/ Toothgrinder, Yüth Forever, Exalt, Lo And Behold 6:30 p.m., $12-$15. Fubar, 3108 Locust St, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. Rocky & the Wranglers: 9 p.m., $5. BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups, 700 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-436-5222. Uncle Lucius: 8 p.m., $12. The Demo, 4191 Manchester Ave, St. Louis.

W E D N E S DAY Bob "Bumble Bee" Kamoske: 8 p.m. Beale on Broadway, 701 S. Broadway, St. Louis, 314-621-7880. Christian McBride: w/ Cyrus Chestnut, Gregory Hutchinson, Russell Malone, Terell Stafford, Tim Warfield 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 24, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 25, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 26, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $45. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000. Face Up & Sing: Celebrating 25 years of Ani DiFranco: w/ Suzie Cue, the Bottoms Up Blues Gang, Genevieve 8 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314773-3363. The Jauntee: 9 p.m., $5. The Bootleg, 4140 Manchester Ave., St. Louis. Jazz St. Louis @20: w/ Christian McBride, Cyrus Chestnut, Gregory Hutchinson, Russell Malone, Terell Stafford, Tim Warfield 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 24, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 25, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sep. 26, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $45. Ferring Jazz Bistro, 3536 Washington Ave, St. Louis, 314-571-6000. John Hodgman: 8 p.m., $25. The Ready Room, 4195 Manchester Ave, St. Louis. Russell Peters: 11 a.m., $46.75. Peabody Opera House, 1400 Market St, St. Louis, 314-241-1888. Sidewalk Chalk: w/ Tiffany Elle, Adam & Kizzie, DJ Nune 8 p.m., $8-$10. Old Rock House, 1200 S. 7th St., St. Louis, 314-588-0505. St. Louis Symphony String Quartet: 6:30 p.m., $10. World Chess Hall of Fame, 4652 Maryland Ave, St. Louis, 314-367-9243. Truman: 8 p.m., $5. Foam Coffee & Beer, 3359 Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, 314-772-2100.

savage love Minds Blown Hey, Dan: My son, who is almost 30 years old, was married four years ago. He just shared with us that for the last three years, he and his wife have been practicing polyamory. They are committed to their relationship but have each had relationships with both men and women. We are trying to get our heads around this, as we come from a more traditional background (we’ve been married 40 years in a loving and respectful relationship), and we find ourselves feeling very sad. We are accepting and nonjudgmental, just trying to unBY derstand how he came to this decision. He feels that to make DAN love “finite,” to love only one person, is “not being true,” and S AVA G E that their kind of relationship prevents dishonesty and is based on truth. He shared that his wife was the first one to broach this idea — and after many deep conversations, he eventually overcame his jealousy and is embracing this practice. They do not have children or plan to have children. I asked my son if he’s happy, and he says he is. Sad Mama

If your son says he’s happy, SM, you should believe him and be happy for him. It’s unfortunate that your son framed the news about his choices and his marriage — which make him happy — in what sounds like a clumsy critique of your choices and your marriage. (If that’s what he did, SM. I’ve only got your characterization of his comments to go on, not a tape recording of them, and it has been my experience that monogamous folks sometimes hear critiques of their choices when we nonmonogamous folks talk about our own choices. “We’re not doing what you’re doing” ≠ “You’re doing it wrong.”) There’s nothing necessarily “finite,” untruthful, limiting or dishonest about monogamy. If that’s what two people want, SM, and it makes those two people happy, that’s great. Monogamy is what you and your husband wanted, it’s what made you and your husband happy, and it worked for your marriage. You could see your son’s choice to be nonmonogamous as a rejection of everything you modeled for him, or you could see his choice as modeled on the fundamental bedrock stuff — for lack of a better word — that informed the choice you made. Your son and his wife are doing what they want, they’re doing what makes them happy, and they’re doing what works for their marriage. They’re not doing monogamy (or kids), but they’re doing what’s right for them and what works for them — just like his mom and dad did. There are lots of people out there in happy, fulfilling open/poly relationships, SM, and lots of people out there in happy, fulfilling

monogamous relationships. (And there are lots of miserable people in both kinds of relationships.) There are also lots of people in happy, fulfilling monogamous relationships they will one day choose to open, and lots of people in happy, fulfilling nonmonogamous relationships they will one day choose to close. It’s happiness, consent and mutual respect that matters, not whether a relationship is monogamous or nonmonogamous. If your son is happy, SM, you should be happy for him. But if he states — or clumsily implies — that you and his dad couldn’t be happy because you’re not doing the same thing he and his wife are doing, you tell him from nonmonogamous me that he’s full of nonmonogamous shit. Two pieces of recommended reading: the book Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage by Jenny Block, and an informative interview poly activist and frequent Savage Lovecast guest Diana Adams did with the Atlantic. But I don’t think you need to do a whole lot of homework about this. Love your son, respect his choices, don’t blame or shame his wife, and be kind to any partners they introduce you to. Having a poly kid is a lot simpler than you think. Hey, Dan: I have no disagreement with what you said to letter writer WHIFFING (the man who wanted to know how to broach the subject of a female partner’s unpleasant vaginal odor). But I wanted to add something that seems to be largely unknown: A common side effect of longterm SSRI use is that the scent and amount of sweat can change to be offensive and copious. While it’s worth getting checked out if the person is unaware of the cause of an offensive groin smell (it could be a health issue), sometimes the cause turns out to be something the person is not willing to change because of the benefit it brings to their life. I’ve been in this position. Nothing I did to treat the sweating (beta blockers were offered to reduce the amount but couldn’t change the odor) made a difference, and my intimacy with my partner really suffered. We could basically be intimate only after I just showered; it took months for my partner even to bring it up. When I finally discovered the sweating in a list of side effects in a medical app, it was quickly confirmed by my prescriber as common but not talked about because it’s not physically harmful, so other SSRI users may not be aware of the connection. Just wanted to let your other readers know! Shower Power

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SL Riverfront Times — 9/17/2015